Episode 1 Monty Halls' Great Escape

Imagine living the good life

as a 21st-century beachcomber.

Getting really close to nature.

Whoa! I've just spotted an otter.

I'm Monty Halls and for six months,

I'm swapping this...

..for this,

the west coast of Scotland.

Look at that,

just stunning.

I've travelled the world as

a marine biologist and diver.

But for me, there's one place

that is more beautiful

than any other place on the planet

and it's here,

the west coast of Scotland.

Yeah!

I've dreamed of escaping the city

for years and finally,

I'm doing just that.

Whoa! God, that's cold!

I want to see if the reality

lives up to the dream.

Reubs!

This is where the road ends,

the adventure begins,

and the nearest supermarket

is over an hour away.

Welcome to Beachcomber Cottage.

It's early April.

I've rented out my Bristol house

and driven 500 miles north,

swapping the bustle of the city

for the peace of the

most remote coastline in Britain.

There's a lovely moment when

you try and do something like this

and it's this moment right now, I

think, where it's all ahead of you,

and it's all your dreams,

and it's all stuff

that's happening in front of you

and it's a really sweet moment.

The journey up here

was just an epic.

The dog's really cheesed off.

I think the dog thought

it was going for a walk

when I put it in the car,

and 15 hours later,

we're still going.

But the nice thing about that is you

really feel the remoteness of it,

because you've done

every mile yourself.

I think I've found

a great place to stay,

but I've only seen photographs,

so this is a real leap of faith.

I've always held in my mind's eye

a perfect vision of what

I want from this cottage.

And the vision is

a big sweep of white sand,

some hills in the background,

the sea, a little bit of isolation,

not too isolated, but a little bit

of isolation with a community

nearby, that I can get to know.

But I'm not going to lose

that little vision I've got.

This is when it starts

to get gnarly.

This is Bealach Na Ba,

the pass of the cattle and

it's the highest road in Britain.

It's the highest mountain pass

in Britain. It's over 2,000 feet.

They used to actually bring

the cattle up through this pass.

The aim was to do ten miles a day,

so imagine doing ten miles a day

over this terrain, working your

cattle, trying to keep them going.

These were hardy folk,

tough folk.

Nearly at the top.

Look at that,

just stunning.

The funny thing is

it's a view in the British Isles.

You don't expect that

in the British Isles.

It looks like New Zealand or

Greenland or Scandinavia. Stunning.

Stunning.

What do you think, Reubs?

Look at that view. Look at that!

Views are lost on dogs.

Come on, Reuben!

Reubs!

Come on!

Up until about ten days ago,

he was actually in a rescue centre.

Oh, ha-ha!

So his whole life has consisted of

a little, kind of, concrete pen.

That's not right at all, is it?

That's just not right at all.

That's just all wrong.

Imagine the sensory overload

he's going through at the moment.

Reuben!

Reuben!

What on earth are you doing?

I'm over 2,000 feet here, and

it's still in the grip of winter,

but I'm heading in that direction,

to a community called Applecross

and Applecross is down

at sea level, so hopefully

it will be spring down there.

Come on, Reubs! Come on! Let's go.

Just think of the contrast,

between what I can see out

the window now and what I

could see out of the window

five minutes ago when

I was twisting down the pass.

And the daffs are springing up

and if you look,

there's lambs in the fields.

It's spring in Applecross.

We've got the sea in the background,

the Isle of Skye there

and I am beside myself about

hopefully what I'm going to see

round the corner.

So this is...

I'm just coming to it now.

Mow down a couple of walkers.

That...

I think is it.

That tiny, little rundown cottage.

Here we are, dog. Home sweet home.

The dog's lost the will to live.

He's had enough of Radio 4

for 15 hours.

This is it. Come on then.

Come on, Reubs!

Come on. Good boy. Good boy.

In my mind's eye,

how I dreamed it would look,

this is pretty much it really.

Reubs! Reubs, you ready?

You see that?

That's the sea.

Go on then, Reubs! Go on.

Go on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

All I can see right now is the roof

and it does look amazingly run down.

I mean, obviously there's a huge

amount of work to be done to it.

But for me that is part of it,

a little bit.

What do you think, Reubs?

Looks as though it's been shelled.

A fairly major naval barrage. Reubs!

What you doing?

Reubs, come on.

Come on.

My idea is to get livestock here

and try and carve a living here,

and the raw material,

the basic template is here.

And it's just up to me

to try and build on it.

Right, let's go and have

a little look round the estate.

That's the end of the cowshed

and the thing you'll notice

is the absence of a window.

The maddening part of that,

imagine living there,

and not being able to see that.

This channel is a super highway for

some of the giants of the ocean -

things like orcas,

basking sharks and minke whales.

I want to be a position where I can

see stuff appearing and actually nip

out and have a little look at it,

so I want a window,

that's the number one priority.

The land belongs

to the Applecross Estate.

Before I can touch a thing, I've got

to convince this man, Mike Summers.

Hello, Mike.

Nice to meet you. I'm Monty.

'I am nervous about how locals will

react to me as a wannabe crofter.

'So this is my first chance

to make a good impression.'

Mike, what WOULDN'T

you like me to do to it?

Well, I'd say no to your window

in the gable.

It's a big job,

so...I wouldn't tackle it.

I think I knew it was a bit

of a forlorn request, you know.

When I stepped outside and saw the

view, I was like, it's stunning.

People built houses for shelter

in the old days and the view

was for looking at outside.

Yeah.

Nobody sat in the house looking

at the views like they do these days.

If you couldn't put a window in,

is there anything you could...

albeit temporarily,

stick on the outside?

I mean, I'm not talking

a massive conservatory!

Yeah! I just think...

'This isn't exactly going well.'

And in terms of animals,

what would you suggest might be...?

Pigs might do well in that pen there.

And I was thinking of some chickens.

Hens. We call them here.

Hens.

So, chickens are called hens and

cowsheds don't have conservatories.

So much to learn.

The bay's about three miles

along the coast from Applecross

where I'm staying while the

cottage is being converted.

The beating heart of the village

is the Applecross Inn.

You get people coming here

who have wanted to see, say,

three things in Scotland.

They've wanted to see

Stirling Castle, Edinburgh

and The Applecross Inn.

It's a kind of old-style pub where

the locals mix with the visitors.

Do you know what the forecast

is for the next few days?

Is it?

The fee of information

is a dram,

so you pay them the dram

and suddenly whole world of

how to catch fish opens up to you.

But the moment I walked in,

straightaway everyone was chatting,

stroking Reuben,

people coming up, having a natter,

interested in what I was doing.

So I think that's been really

significant, because obviously

I need a huge amount of labour,

for what I'm doing,

and there's no way I'm

going to do this on my own.

I'm going to rely 100%

on local people helping me out.

And the one person who

can really help me

find these people is Judy Fish.

She's been the landlady here

for 20 years.

Can I have, er, a glass

of red wine for Judy, please?

For lots of various reasons

we are the social centre.

I do know everybody that lives

in the village, because you care.

I think everybody's a

lot to give, everybody fits

into Applecross in some way.

Judy's assured me it won't

take long to rally some workers.

While she's spreading the word,

Mike and I are starting

on the transformation

of Beachcomber Cottage.

The short-term aim of this is to get

in, then work from the inside out.

The long-term aim is to get it

running as a working small holding.

It's a cracking spring day,

it's perfect weather for doing this

and we need to make hay

while the sun shines, basically.

So it's great fun.

The controlled application

of extreme violence.

It's mid-April

and I want to have the cottage

ready by the end of the month.

But things do keep

getting in the way.

Whilst I was coming down here

this morning, I found something

on the side of the road looking

very, very sorry for itself.

Now Reubs, be nice, be nice.

Now, he's badly bust his wing.

Reuben.

Beautiful plumage and everything.

You see the red dot there,

the red dot on the bill.

That's for the young to peck at.

What do you think, Reubs?

He's lovely, isn't he?

That is not lunch, incidentally.

So we'll see what we

can do for him and

you know, hopefully turn him around.

But he's badly broken a wing,

it was really trailing.

Reuben!

What on earth are you doing?

What the gull needs is a good feed,

and happily there's loads

of limpets on the beach.

The correct technique

to get a limpet off a rock,

is you've got to creep up on it

and give it a good sharp kick.

The Latin name is Patella vulgata

and the reason is

they're the same shape

as your kneecap, the patella.

A shell is a little miracle of

engineering because it's designed

to resist wave action

and engineers have looked at that

design and realised it's the optimum

design for dissipating power.

The other thing,

if you look underneath.

It's got the foot here,

but it's also got a radula which is

like a little conveyer belt of teeth

that eats into the rock

and creates a home for them,

a place that's exactly their shape.

It sits in its scar, then goes off

on little forays around the beach

looking for algae and things like

that to eat, and always finds

its way back to the same scar.

And for decades, scientists had no

idea how these things always found

their way back to the same scar,

and it turns out it's the slime.

They can tell by crossing their

slime trail which direction it is.

They cross the outgoing slime trail

and say, "That's going that way, so

that way's home," and back they go.

So, an amazing little animal,

which I'm about to feed to the gull.

Good boy, Reubs, good boy.

I'm sure there's a more rugsy-tugsy,

SAS survival method of getting

your limpet out than using a pair

of small nail scissors but...

if he's feeding,

it will be a really good sign.

I'm just trying to drop it into him.

There you go.

Whoa! Nearly took my finger off!

This is a good moment to point out

that I'm not some survival expert

who can rub two squirrels together

and make a fire

and knit my own pants from kelp

and things like that.

Here we are, gull.

Good grief! Just gone!

One of the interesting things

about these gulls is their head

actually hinges way past where

the beak stops.

You see the whole head opens.

These guys, they'll eat a mackerel

almost as big as themselves.

Reubs! You'll get your nose bitten.

Oh! Ha-ha!

The Western Isles is

an amazing archipelago of islands

and so is the West Coast.

The West coast is these sets of

convoluted bays, inlets and things.

And the best way to get around

is by boat, unequivocally.

I'm off to see a guy called Pete,

who runs whale and dolphin

spotting tours, as it were,

who's got a rigid inflatable boat

that I might buy off him.

Hello, Pete, how's it going?

Not bad.

Good.

Is that the rib, Pete?

Yes.

Ah. Excellent.

Ah, it looks in great nick.

Well, it's a good size. You can do

everything you want with it.

Perfect. Well, I'll take it.

Well, what's the plan? Do we have

a plan?

No.

No? Let's just get out

there and thrash around in it

and see how we get on and then

we'll go and negotiate in the pub.

Yeah, all right then.

Don't underestimate the

incredible range of wildlife

that's right on our doorstep.

Besides minke whales, orcas,

dolphins and basking sharks,

the west coast of Scotland

has an array of reef animals,

birds and of course otters.

You really can't hope to see

them without a boat.

It's even better to have the local

knowledge of someone like Pete.

Minke whales are the main ones

we get.

We've had the odd humpback

but the main time for whales really

is mid-June, July and August.

Humpbacks like to tail-slap. They've

got very big white front fins

and they like to slap.

They like to play a lot.

They call them

Megaptera novaeangliae,

the Winged New Englander,

because they're absolutely huge.

OK? You ready?

I'm completely ready.

We're going to give it

a bit of welly just to see

how the boat handles the sea.

Fantastic.

It's a great bit of design, the rib.

They're fantastic.

I'm trying to be all cool, calm and

phlegmatic about the entire thing,

but I defy anyone to drive around

out here, such a stunning location,

and not have a big cheeky grin

on their face.

There's a great example for you,

some seals sitting over here.

These fellows are common seals - the

grey seals have a much chunkier head.

These have a bit of a Labrador head.

Well, it's a big group this. This

little group never used to be here.

It's getting bigger.

Is this a breeding group?

Well, a lot of what these ones tend

to do is, they have their pups Around

the tail end of June, July

and then they form these little

kind of creches everywhere.

Yeah.

So they're very protective.

There's no male here at the minute.

The males are very big.

And this is quite a new colony?

It's getting bigger.

There's always been some here, but

there's got to be 50 or 60 here now.

Yeah.

They've got no natural

predators, of course.

No? Of course.

You get the odd killer whale, but...

Supposedly, if you sing to them

they come quite near.

What do you sing to them, Pete?

Me? I leave that to my passengers.

That's up to you, you see.

What do you sing to them, Pete?

Me? I leave that to my passengers.

That's up to you, you see.

Any number by Seal?

I think they quite like that.

I'm not sure I needed

too much convincing to buy the boat

but it's a useful tool for fishing

and travelling around the islands.

Right now, the priority is

getting a roof on the cottage

and moving in.

Basically it's all happening

at the moment.

So we've got all the timber

being delivered.

It's going to put

flesh on the bones.

The pubs proved a great recruiting

ground for all the skills I need.

And while the guys aren't

helping out for free they are

continuing a local tradition

where everybody helps each

other out to build their houses.

Here's the team.

Mike One, you've already met,

and then there's Mike Two, a local

mountain guide and kayak instructor.

I can certainly see some

trips with him in the future.

Not even a squeak.

And Andy the biker. He

and his family came here on holiday

and somehow never left.

And have you ever nailed

yourself with a nail gun?

Yes. Yes, a few weeks ago I

nailed these two fingers together.

It's been a hundred miles

from the nearest hospital.

It's a do-it-yourself job.

Did you use some bad words?

Oh, yeah.

'As if on cue, Mike Two

reports in with the first injury.

'He's cut his finger

on a shard of glass.'

So if you want to slip your

clothes off and, er...

Now this is

going to sting like...

You'll get a lollipop after this.

This is obviously quite a minor

injury although obviously Mike's

making a colossal fuss of it,

But, serious injuries for

the crofters of old -

and if you think about it was a

really physical lifestyle,

they were managing stock,

they were putting these walls up.

So yeah, injuries

in the days of yore,

in the crofting, were very

serious, very serious indeed.

You know, a broken ankle,

while you're out with the stock,

potentially life threatening.

I did get my way with the

extension but the experts

will get on better without me

and Reuben getting in the way.

A hugely significant thing for the

livestock is a good water supply.

Pigs in particular

drink a lot of water.

Now interestingly,

the whole area down there,

we haven't been able

to find a water supply

so I've come up here and I'm

actually outside the fence now.

I've found this burn that

runs down, this little stream

that runs down and I've dug a well,

kind of dug a well,

but you just get down

to bed rock so quickly here

so all I've done here is create a,

essentially a large muddy puddle,

which is slowly filling up and then

hopefully, the really exciting thing

about this, is this is higher than

the fang and with any luck I'll be

able to create a pipe system,

a guttering system, that actually

gets water down to the fang.

Reub loves it! It's like a

little Jacuzzi for Reubs.

He's been in it relentlessly. Reubs!

Reubs! Out, out, out! Good boy.

The roof's started to go on, and

this has all happened

quite quickly.

The lads are working really quickly

and these sheets will go on.

And as soon as the sheets go on

you've got a proper little haven.

I can't wait. Can't wait.

Certainly, in terms of the build,

we're getting to

the last stages of the fundamental

things of getting me in.

I've got to say, it's been an.

amazing effort by everyone locally.

They've all just come down here

and helped me out and it's in the

finest traditions of crofting

And I've really grateful, I'm really

touched that everyone's helped out

so much.

So what I'm going to do, is to throw

a little party and again,

there's a long tradition in that,

it's the topping-off ceremony

when the roof's on for

the first time and someone moves in.

The tradition is that you get

everyone together and celebrate

so we'll get a bit of seafood

and do a big old cook-up, get out on

the shore there and toast the new

place, but it's been a great effort.

It's been

a completely chaotic few days.

Come on, Reubs.

But the shell is there now.

So I can start basically, getting

odds and bobs, down here and

pretty much moving in, this is it.

This by the way, is

full of Reuben's toys.

Reubs, you're not making this easy.

It's quite nice to do this actually.

When it's really, really raw,

er, it's like camping

in your back garden on

the back lawn when you are a kid.

Can you remember how exciting

that was?

Right, you may recall the gull with

the broken wing, poor old fella.

So, I just thought I'd let you know

how all that turned out,

and if you don't want to know

the result, look away now.

Sadly, Gazza the Gull is following

the great trawler in the sky,

because the vet took one look at him

and said no, the wings just

completely broken and there we are.

One of those things,

it's very sad, but we tried

and we gave him an extra couple of

days and when I got back,

one of the locals had very kindly

given me a Gazza the Gull substitute

cos they could see I was pining.

So I'm just going to stick

him up on the shelf there,

he'll have a place of honour.

That will be Gazza the Gull's place.

What a spot, hey.

With that cottage behind me,

that view in front of me

and the dog over there.

So this is a very special

moment to finally be in

Beachcomber Cottage, this night.

You just couldn't ask for

a better night, could you?

And the thing that really

comes through on a night like this

is you're anything but alone here.

There's cormorants out there, I've

been watching cormorants and seals

coming past checking you out.

What's that, Reubs? Reubs?

And a stag lives up the top here,

saw a couple of stags.

What's that, Reubs? Reubs?

And a stag lives up the top here,

saw a couple of stags.

And I think there's moments

like this that you look back on,

when the times are hard

and you just think, wow, it's great.

It's my first meal,

and I'm completely alone,

and everyone's gone.

I know I should be eating whelks

and winkles and foraging and things,

but instead I made

myself a bacon sandwich.

In fact, I made myself

two bacon sandwiches,

went to get something,

and Reuben nicked one of them.

So he's in the Land Rover having a

little think about himself at the

moment. But this one's delicious.

So it's me and Reubs,

alone with our thoughts.

It's May,

and the weather's fantastic.

And to go with my new home,

there's a whole new routine.

I vowed to run up

that sand dune three times a day.

OK, here we go.

Come on then, Reubs!

Come on then, up, up, up.

That's horrible.

Hell of a view, though.

That's my little empire.

Amazing, you know.

OK, come on, Reubs! Down we go!

I'll just do a couple as obviously

I don't want to wear the dog out.

I'm going to jump in for a swim

cos I haven't had a shower

for three days.

When I was back home in Bristol,

my dream of escaping to the West

Coast looked exactly like this.

It really does feel like

I've left the city behind.

It's icy cold, but it's great,

it's good for the soul.

I'm sure it's good for the soul

and I smell considerably nicer now

than I did 30 seconds ago

so great, great stuff,

lovely feeling, life-enhancing.

Isn't it, Reubs?

Hey, hey?

It's a great feeling to be in,

but there's still a huge

amount of graft ahead of me.

I've got to plant the vegetables,

got to get the animals in, and

I've got to get the system to work.

I'm only half way there.

I want to be as self-sufficient

as I can.

I hope by the end

of my time here, I'm really,

pretty much, self-contained, maybe

this, I can make this omelette again

at the end and it be my own bacon.

So, my next goal is

getting some livestock.

I need pigs for bacon,

hens for eggs and of course,

a vegetable patch for my own chives.

Do you want some, Reubs?

Go on, I'll give you a little bit.

Because you've been a good dog.

And if there was any left over,

I could barter my produce for

other things in the village.

But for now the only thing

I have to offer is my own labour

and I'm in desperate need of some

advice from the Applecross Estate.

My first trade is at the beautifully

restored Victorian garden,

run by Peter and Jackie.

Oh, well, he's looking pretty good.

They've got me helping out

with the manual labour.

I'll be looking forward to

going down and having a look,

see what he's up to, yes.

Oh, yes, sounds very exciting.

The gardens are a brilliant place

to come for a break

and the caff does a fantastic

cappuccino and walnut cake.

Jackie, it's beautiful garden here.

It really is a really peaceful spot.

Shouldn't have had that...

There you go!

Shouldn't

have had that piece of cake!

It was the last piece of cake,

coffee and walnut.

Just goes straight to the bottom,

apparently.

I'm about to turn

my garden around hopefully.

Now, you would've been

through the emotion

of actually going from a fairly raw

state to what you see around us now.

Thinking about the position

you're in, I'd have thought

there's a lot of heatherand rushes

and stuff like that, which is going

to be quite difficult really.

Are you going to have chickens?

Yes.

Oh, well, that's wonderful manure.

Really?

And are you

going to have pigs?

Yes.

That will clear all that heather

and stuff we were talking about.

So I've heard. They are the constant

gardeners, aren't they?

You just put them onto a patch

and the guy who actually owns the...

I'm hoping to get my pigs

and sheep from a couple on

Skye I've been in touch with.

As the crow flies,

it's barely 30 miles,

but by road,

it's three times the distance.

From where I am in Applecross,

there's two ways to get across

to the Isle of Skye.

One is you take the coast road

and if you're slightly dull,

you then go over the bridge.

But if you have a hint of romance

or poetry in your soul,

you take the ferry and that's where

I'm going now.

Is that it? That's it.

It's a small, bijou ferry.

This ferry has been here for a very,

very long time indeed.

Obviously, not that particular one

but this little route has been a

crossing point

for 400 years so this an historic

crossing that I'm about to do now.

These ferries have always

played a vital part

in the Highlands way of life.

The West Coast is fractured by

long sea lochs so they're often

the quickest and easiest way,

sometimes to get just a

few hundred metres away.

Er, this is one of the few turntable

ferries left still operating

so it's a pretty historic

and special bit of kit this.

It's a flat, calm day but

this crossing is still one

the trickiest in Britain.

This might look like just a simple,

800 metres crossing, but there's

massive tidal movement, really races

through here and these boys really

have to know what they're doing.

You can see as we go across

we're pointing at 45 degrees

and the reason is we're

charging through this race.

There's a seal just there, look!

The amazing thing is that people

used to drive cattle across here,

so the cattle had to swim.

In fact they went from Skye

across to the mainland and there's a

rock just around the corner there

called Calf Rock

and what's thought is that

they'd actually row a calf across,

put him on the rock there and the

calf would moo its little heart out

and the rest of the herd would hear

it and then start swimming across.

So I'm following in some

very, very ancient footsteps.

You've only got to take one look

at this countryside and this

scenery around me to realise

that the animals here

need to be really tough.

And I'm off to see

a couple of crofters called

Keith and Rachel Jackson who raise

pigs and they raise breeds

that can actually deal with

these sorts of terrain,

and obviously I need to chat to them

to find out what pigs I need

to get down in my croft.

I'm hoping Keith and Rachel

will become my long term mentors

and will keep an eye on my efforts

over the course of the summer.

Hello, hi there. How's it going?

Hello, how are you?

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

I'm Rachel.

Hi there, good to meet you Rachel.

Hi there, nice to meet you Keith.

And that's Reuben in the car.

He's cute.

Yeah, would you like to say hello?

Behave yourself, be nice.

Hello.

When I was looking for someone to

buy pigs and sheep from, Keith's

name came up time and time again.

He and Rachel are hugely

respected around here.

The idea is that hopefully I'm going

to buy a couple of pigs off Keith

but he's going to talk me through

the best breeds and the best ones

to...

Find one that likes you!

Exactly.

Exactly.

These are not your normal pigs.

Their father's a wild boar

and their mother is a Tamworth,

an equally ancient breed,

just a little bit more sociable.

It's an old traditional,

British breed,

not a commercial breed by

any means but a flavoursome breed

and a hardy breed

and yeah, a docile pig.

Easy pig to keep, friendly pig,

she's having her breakfast

and she's not speaking but...

And in terms of actually keeping

them, as in me keeping them,

I'm coming at it from a layman's

point of view almost...

Keith picks me out

two young females,

which I'll fatten up and eat

at the end of the summer.

Next on the shopping list, sheep.

The Soay sheep are the...

Hard-arsed sheep?

That's the wild breed in them.

These guys know there's

predators around.

and the commercial breeds don't.

They haven't

got that instinctive knowledge.

Predators like eagles will pick

off huge numbers of new lambs

but not Soay lambs.

Their natural instinct, they

actually go away and hide their lambs

in an environment where they can't

be seen from above or whatever.

The survival rate's phenomenal.

They should be pretty bomb-proof.

They're a, you know, native breed.

Is that another

way of saying idiot-proof?

Idiot-proof? Yeah.

Yeah.

Soays are definitely

my kind of sheep.

So, I take a ram, six ewes

and four of this year's lambs.

So much knowledge tied up in

Keith and Rachel because they've

done all this themselves.

Now what they've got here is a

working croft and there's actually

very few crofts around here,

that the money is generated purely

by the crofts and the livestock.

Generally, the guys that run the

crofts have other jobs as well

but not Keith and Rachel.

They've really pulled off something

fantastic here.

Keith kills and butchers all the

family meat on the croft

and they're virtually

self-sufficient for food.

If you want to work the land and

you want to farm

and you want to be successful,

you have to work hard.

Yeah, there's no shortcuts.

No, no, there's not.

You have to do things properly.

You know, and that means hard work.

I guess you get out

what you put in, don't you?

So if you're putting natural stuff

in and you've got a contented

animal, you know, has been

raised as natural way as possible,

of course, you're going to

get some fairly decent meat.

Good meat, which is hopefully

what you will have, Monty.

Yeah, of course. Of course.

As the evening wears on,

Keith and Rachel let me in on some

of the secrets of pig husbandry.

You need to feed them at

the same time.

The same time every day.

Every day.

Right.

And if you don't, they'll be...

They'll come looking for you.

They'll be shouting on you.

Really?

They'll be in your bedroom!

And if you like, you can have like,

lovey-dovey chats as well.

You make nice noises

with her and she'll

take them as being nice noises.

Yeah.

And likes that, you know?

Yeah!

'Over the next five months,

Keith and Rachel will be vital

'to the success of my own croft and

in the process become good friends.'

I've literally just got up,

got up about two minutes ago

just to see the sun come up.

You almost go

back to old rhythms.

You get woken up by lights,

up by the sun.

I can't think of a nicer place

on earth,

on the planet, to wake up.

This is beyond how I imagined it.

Er, I'm really enjoying the pace

of this. You just can't rush it.

One advantage of rising with

the sun is seeing animals

like

red deer near the cottage.

This is just before they head

off

into the hills for the day.

This is such an important time

for the stags, the young stags,

cos they're trying to take on

as much food as possible

to get big and strong,

because we're only

a few months away

from the rut

when they'll have to

fight

for the females.

They'll have to fight for the hinds.

You can see them growing

their antlers at the moment

but these are velvet antlers,

and they'll start shedding

the velvet off those

antlers

leaving only the bone

and it's really impressive

to see the antlers.

But actually it's the

body size

and bulk of the red deer

that's more important

than the size of the antlers.

These animals

have been hunted by man throughout

their evolutionary history,

and all they associate

with human beings is fear and death.

So getting close to them is

going to be really, really tricky.

They're incredible skittish,

you know.

People in dark clothing

creeping up on them,

as far as they're concerned,

means only one thing.

Means

someone's

trying to shoot them.

The deer roam pretty much

where they

like

and that'll include my land

if I don't build

a

fence to keep them out.

And if you want a deer fence,

Bob's your man.

Hi, Bob. How's it going?

All

right.

Good.

So what would happen

if this fence wasn't up

and I started planting my crops,

how long would they last?

You would come out one morning

and have nothing left.

Really? Yeah. There's deer

everywhere, aren't there?

Oh, yeah, everywhere. Yeah.

As much as I'd love

to stay and help,

I've got to

go and see a man

about some hens.

Bob, Gary, thank you very much.

Thank you.

It's been an education.

I'd watch out for those five posts

if I were you.

When you're

stringing the fence,

yeah, yeah.

After another hundred,

they'll be spot on.

I'm off to see

a bit of a local legend

called

Donald the Hen McDonald,

so I'm assuming from that nickname

he's going to know all about hens.

Long drive.

Hello, Donald.

All right.

Pleased to

meet you.

You too.

I'm after enough hens to give me

a surplus of eggs that

I can

barter with the locals,

and a rooster to protect

the flock from predators.

Do you want me to give you a hand?

Er, I'll get 'em. I've got me

own device here to get them.

Here it comes.

Well done, Donald.

You've plainly done

that a few times before.

I have. I'll put them in there.

Would you like a hand?

Would you

like me to...

If you open the box.

Now, for the hens.

One there.

In there as well? Each should lay an

egg a day so ten should be plenty.

In you go chaps. I'm very excited!

I'm trying to be

cool and calm and professional

about the whole thing but

I've never owned chickens before.

The truth is, I'm getting hens

just

because I like the idea

of having

them around the croft

and as Jackie

from the Walled Garden said,

their

droppings

are pure compost gold.

Thanks, Donald.

So it's exciting stuff,

getting the chickens,

because I now feel

I've got responsibility.

So I know they're only chickens

but to me

they're very significant chickens.

And I'm really

looking to getting over there

and actually

getting them settled in.

These chickens have

a bit of an adventure coming

over the next few hours,

but hopefully

it will all be worth it.

It will be lovely to see them

in there. My first stock.

Up until now,

I've just been

a weirdo living in

an old cowshed,

but the arrival of the hens

changes everything.

I've taken one step

closer

to being a crofter.

Do you want to have a little look?

They all look faintly stunned.

Apparently it takes a few hours

before they pluck up the

courage,

if you pardon the pun,

to actually move out

of

the little hole there.

Ok, I'll get a bit of feed

in there,

water and we're off.

Eventually, one pioneering hen

and

the rooster,

stick their heads out

and immediately regret it.

Reuben!

Reuben!

Reuben!

I feel a complete fool

for letting

the dog run riot

but at least

he never caught any of them.

I guess the both of us

have still got a lot to learn.

I've just shut Reuben in the

Land Rover to get a little peace,

and I found this in the Land Rover,

which is an old toy I gave him,

which is a rubber chicken,

so I can see where he gets his ideas

that chickens are,

you know, there to be played with.

Now I've

got to catch

the whole flock.

Ok, easy, easy, easy.

Good, good, good.

That's good.

That's good. That's one.

Now let's find the other one.

Right, young lady.

That's it, that way,

that way, that way.

Go on, go

on, go on,

good, good, good, good.

Two.

Come on. Over that end. Go that end.

I've obviously got

very wilful chickens.

Keith will deliver the pigs

and

sheep in a few days' time

so the race

is on

to have everything ready.

How are you, Bob?

Breakfast, is it?

It is. I'm just about to make

a

coffee. Would you like a coffee?

I'm fine, thanks.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I better get on.

How are you getting on with

the fencing?

It will be finished

today.

Brilliant. Great stuff.

This is pretty much

the

last day when the guys

will

be working on the house.

After that, it's all left to me

so I won't get in the way.

I'll let them get stuck in and let

them do what they do best.

I'm just going to feed them

relentlessly, bacon sandwiches.

Here we go.

Cheers.

Thank you very much.

No worries, my pleasure.

This, as Reubs just discovered

because he's dug down to it,

is very sandy,

and this is no good

for growing stuff in.

When the Highland Clearances

took place

and the crofting communities

had to move to the coast

they really struggled on the coast

so they ended up

having to carry soil on their backs

from the highlands,

down to the coastal regions, to

actually

lay beds that were viable,

that they could grow crops in,

which is

kind of what we're doing,

albeit a distance of 50 metres.

We're taking this topsoil,

which is reasonable stuff,

down into our raised beds,

but it replicates what

happened

in the crafting communities.

This was one reason

there was so much

bitterness

about the clearances.

They were moved off the good ground

and down onto this infertile

ground on the coast.

I've got grand plans for a vegetable

patch in one of the old animal pens

but there's more rock than soil.

Sam's done amazing work here

turning this ground over.

This ground's

really, really hard

to turnover.

I first met Sam

through Judy

in the inn

and he's rapidly

becoming my right-hand man.

Sam's single-handedly

moved all of these rocks.

He's like a force of nature.

There's some a bit glacial about Sam

but he's found a rock

that's defeated him

so he's

giving me a shout.

It's a monster.

It is a bit of a monster.

OK, OK.

OK, ready? One two, three, roll.

Brilliant. Brilliant.

Excellent.

Because this was an old animal

pen

the soil's actually very fertile

and should give me

a

good crop of veggies.

And right on time,

Peter and Jackie arrive with some

spare plants from the Walled Garden.

What do you think

for the raised beds?

I was thinking, you'd be better,

we'd be better off with the salads

and things that we're going to,

you know, that won't be

in the ground too long.

So you think things like

lettuce and salad?

Yep.

That's for the raised beds.

Also, I

thought a sacrificial crop

so, here I've got some nasturtiums

and some marigolds

so that the slugs might

those

before they eat your lettuce.

And you don't think I need to put

wire or anything over the top?

Birds won't be an issue?

Actually, maybe a scarecrow

would be a good idea.

That might be a good idea. Yeah.

Or I could train Reuben to just,

stand, like that.

And in terms of me watering these?

Well, these will definitely

need watering every day

for the next few days

until they're established.

You know the worst thing

that could happen?

What's that?

Reuben dancing on it.

Oh, really? Right.

So this is a no-go zone for Reubs.

Definitely. Yes.

Right, OK.

You see how

they're

waving in the wind?

They're trembling in

anticipation

of you guys leaving

and being left alone in my

tender care. They're terrified.

I've got beetroot, chives,

spring onion, rocket,

and at least

three different types

of lettuce.

Hello, chap.

Oi! Go away!

Off, off, off, off, off. Thank you.

I will do unspeakable things

to you with this trowel

if

you trash my cabbages.

Even my house plants back in Bristol

normally die instantly under my care

so these plants should be

very nervous indeed.

But tomorrow's another first

as Keith and Rachael

deliver my livestock.

It's been a flat-out effort to get

everything ready for the stock

because the stock's arriving today

and it's been last-minute

stuff

getting the old fence in,

getting the walls built up,

getting the trough's ready,

getting the shelters ready,

the gates on but I think I'm there.

Er, but we'll soon find out, because

Keith and Rachael, and the kids,

are turning up with the pigs

and the

sheep, imminently.

Keith wants to move here.

I want to live here.

I'll be moving in

when Monty moves out.

Cobblers! Ah, come on.

City boy trying to reverse a trailer.

Other way, other way.

Go on.

Fantastic.

Come on, girls.

Fantastic.

These pigs maybe destined

for short

lives over the summer,

but I'm

determined

they'll be happy lives.

Come on, girls. Come on, piggies!

Great stuff. Have they got names?

We were actually having

a

conversation about names

yesterday, weren't we Keith?

Doris.

Doris?

A really good pig name.

It is, isn't it?

Yep, Doris.

Gemma, I think

it's a good name for a pig.

All right, Gemma and Doris it is.

Gemma and Doris.

And then there's the sheep who'll

get the run of my two acre's estate.

Thank you so much.

That's all right.

No bother.

That's fantastic.

Good luck with them.

Thank you.

Will you pop back?

If you pop back

I'll...

Oh, definitely.

Brilliant.

We'll keep an eye on them.

Keith and his family

will

always be welcome but for now,

it's

nice

to have the place to myself.

This is a really special time for

me. This is a really precious time.

It's so quiet and suddenly you

remember why you've come up here.

Cos actually, the activity

during the course of

the day,

there's so much going on.

There's loads of chores

and

things to do.

There's still

lots of DIY to be done.

But then you sit here

at the end of the day

and

it's just so peaceful, so quiet.

Reubs! Come on!

Go on, and your bum!

Come on, Reuben!

Go on. That's better.

Today is the day

of the topping

out party

to say thank you to

everyone

who's helped me out.

We could have lamb this evening.

The plan is

to go and see a local fisherman,

and actually meet him as he's

coming in from lifting his creels

and just see what he's got,

the idea is

to make a massive

paella.

Hi.

Do you want me to take a line?

Thanks.

No worries.

Sorry, I haven't

introduced myself.

I'm Monty.

Oh, you're Monty, are you?

I'm Monty.

Yeah, they're all langoustine.

Price, price-wise,

the bigger they are,

the more you get for them.

Of course.

You're just going for...

I'll take a few of these

off your hands, without a doubt.

What about things like,

you mentioned you've got prawns.

That's what we call prawns.

Do you know, that's the

interesting thing about langoustine.

You go around the world,

and they've

got loads...

Cos they're called

Dublin bay prawns as well.

Dublin Bay prawns, langoustine,

langostino, Norway lobsters.

Norway

lobster, yeah.

That's another one.

So, I'm going to feed, I think,

about

15 people tonight so....

Yeah, I could probably do half and

half, prawns and squats.

Perfect.

What? 15 whole ones?

Fantastic. They'll all get eaten.

They'll all get eaten.

I'm sure they will.

That's fantastic,

I

hope I do them justice.

Yep, see you later,

good to meet you.

To help me make a really special

meal I recruited Marion.

Now, treat me like a,

sort of,

blunt instrument.

OK, then. Excellent.

She's a chef at the pub

which frequently wins

awards for its seafood.

You just wouldn't get something

that fresh and that beautiful

in a restaurant somewhere else.

It's literally leaping out

of the pan as you're cooking it,

it's so fresh.

We'll get this nice and hot again.

You think that's tasty, Reuben?

Mind your nose, Reubs!

I'm going to cut these

down the middle

and you see the first cut I made

was straight down there which...

Just kills it.

Kills it, yes, yes.

You want them in...

We'll do some in here

as we won't fit all of these

on top of that pan of paella.

And then the other ones,

we'll lay on the top of the rice

before we put the lid over so

they'll just steam gently on top.

Shall I have a go at one?

Yeah, definitely, definitely.

Just grab him by the front claw.

Grab him by the front claws

and you chop down just there?

Yep.

Perfect. That's it.

And then you just use your hands

to split it open, the rest of way.

Right.

Look at those.

And do you do much outdoor cooking?

Do you ever come down the beach?

Totally.

Really?

All the time.

That's what I want to do here.

It's one of my favourite things to

do, is come down here to the beach,

get some cockles and mussels, a bit

of foil and get them on the fire.

Langoustine, Sam on the pipes,

and the local community pitching in.

This is exactly how I hoped

my

West Coast experience would be.

Look at that!

Look at those prawns.

That's like a proper feast.

It is.

I think a bit more salt and pepper,

maybe a bit of lemon juice,

but that's not bad otherwise.

That's just what you need after

a hard day on the beach, isn't it?

It can be a dangerous thing

to

chase your dreams,

but right now,

life couldn't be better.

It's really nice, it's beautiful,

it is very good, actually.

It's a beautiful evening and finally

I'm living in Beachcomber Cottage

and as you can see from behind me,

all the local community have

just

completely got stuck in

and they're right behind me

and helping me out here,

and that's really significant

and really important to me.

And I've got to say

life's pretty good.

Next time...

I knew that was going to happen!

..I go out fishing, with Snoddy.

Huge.

That's as good as it gets.

Wow!

This is shinty.

It was invented back in the mists of

time to prepare warriors for battle.

I'm getting divots

the size of

cow pats.

And at last, get the chance

to get out in the boat

and see some spectacular wildlife.

Hey!

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