The Best Bits Sport Relief


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The Best Bits

Highlights from the Sport Relief 2012 event, which saw a host of sporting personalities come together to raise money for charity.


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Welcome to a look back at Sport Yeah! Wow! # Everyone is in the

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house tonight... I have my stunt double with me! # Every day I'm

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# Shuffling,! Shuffling! Stop! Pain is bad! We just want to say now you

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with me! Push your hands up # Put your hands up. Get up, get down,

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put your hands up to the sound! Yeah! Yeah! Oh! # Everyone have a

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good time # Come on people! Oh! Yae! Yeah! Put your hands up #

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# This high ball, it is out of control # Look at that body # Girl

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look at that body # Girl, lack at that body! I work out! Girl look at

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that body # Girl look at that body! I work out! When I walk in, this is

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what I see, everyone is staring at me # I have got passion and I ain't

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afraid to show it! I'm sexy and I know it! # Sexy and I know it!

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- argh! # Wiggle, wickle, wiggle yeah! I'm going to wiggle man! I do

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the wiggle man! I do the wiggle man! I'm sexy and I know it!

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have the Strictly team as you have never seen them and Miranda has her

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own sporting challenge. But first a What's your name? Kooren. Will this

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take long? -- Karen. We should be on our way shortly. Are you a

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Chelsea fan? No I hate football. I won this in a competition aye

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wanted to be on television and it will look good on my CV. Is this an

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important game? Yeah it is. And are you feeling confident? Yes. Right.

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Why do you make that face? reason. She is fine and guess what?

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She's got Frank Lampard. Great. is chatting away to him. She's

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chatting to him? Yes. Maybe keep an eye on that, in case... She does...

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That thing that she does. Excuse me! Excuse me, you're Christine,

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Bleakley, Yes. I'm a fan. Can I have an autograph. Hi I'm Pete. I'm

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also a fan. We always voted for you on Strictly. You and Ann Widdecombe,

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because we look liked to see Anton used as floor mop. You're

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supporting your other half. What Adrian Chiles. No we work together,

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but we're not married. Christine is engaged to Frank Lampard, who is a

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very lucky man. He is not that lucky, that goal against Germany

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was well over the line. Dad called the referee a Nazi stooge. Do you

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want to see him goose step something can I have one more.

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I know is that last weekend I heard my dad shouting, that you had

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missed a goal that my granny could have scored. We all miss the

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occasional one. It must have been easy sh because my granny's got a

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plastic hip. But we still won and I made both of the goals. That is

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nothing to boast about. You just need a few bits of wood and a net.

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Anyone can make a goal. That is just DIY. Karen try not to talk to

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Mr Lampard too much. He is trying to focus on the game. This is my

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mum. She fans Yips you. No I don't. -- fancys you. Excuse me. I'm sorry.

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Karen. Really. There is a lot of big game pressure. I know. I play

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netball for the school. Sorry. Football's much harder than net

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wall ball. My daughter is Frank's Place cot today. She won't forget

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that in a hurry. No, and neither will he. Can I have two more, one

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to Mikey and one to Josh. You know what would make dance on ice ewe

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are better. You're great in that. To have thin patches of ice that

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they would have to avoid, so they're skating and then plummet

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through ice, bang! Or giant angry walruses. Netball is hard e in thet

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ball the net is small -- netball is harder, because the net is so small

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and the in football the net is bigger than the ball. The goals are

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huge and in netball, the net is really high up off the ground.

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hasn't got a huge goalie guarding it. Amy Harrison is nearly six feet

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tall. Or a polar bear. Call it six quid, it hunts the skaters across

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the ice. It is what they call jeopardy. You have got to stop her.

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A polar bear may cause problems. I Now could I have five to no one in

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particular. Are you selling these? These are actually part of my

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business start up project for economics. But you are selling them.

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I can cut you in. In the skate off. Football is harder than netball,

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isn't it lads? Of course you would say that. Have you even played

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netball. I have, I'm quite good. Karen stop it. Stop it.

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netball... Most footballers have nick names don't they, do you have

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have one? No. I am sure my dad called you something. When you

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missed that goal. It'll come to me in a second. 17/30. Final off.

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can't do that. 50/50. Does Frank get nervous. A bit. What if I give

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some to charity. Does she throw up, that is what I do when I get

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nervous. I'm feeling nervous now. Right. There is a friend of mine,

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I'm going to go and catch up. and you choose the charity. This is

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my wife, when frarning gets nervous, does he a huge vain start throbbing

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behind his left ear? What this a arm band? It means I'm captain.

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you're in charge. Does that mean if you lose the newspapers will all

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blame you? I bet it does. Especially if you miss another easy

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one. Come on lads. They will probably stick your face on a

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picture of a vegetable. Frank the ref does haven't a Place cot.

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does now! So you're the ref? Yeah. And are you feeling confident?

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putting aside Frank Lampard's five missed penalties what about that

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extraordinary refeeing performance? The man went to pieces. It was

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incredible. He sent off seven play irs and the Chelsea mascot and

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punches the fourth fish, swallows his own whistle and then his shorts

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fall down. It was abysmal. Your support has helped us change lives

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here in the UK and all over the world. But there is a lot more we

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can do. Look at this film. It is why we're hear. So many kids here

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all not well. It is the most appalling thing I have seen. Kids

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shouldn't be doing this. Even now, they don't understand why he can't

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come back. Our biggest hope is that a child is strong enough to run and

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laugh. It is like looking at somebody that use to be him. She is

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a beautiful girl and a has to facey day. Welcome to hell. -- facey day.

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It is impossible for any parent to be here. It is unimaginable that

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Today you could change someone's life forever. # I won't let you go!

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Every pound you give will be spent in the UK or in the world's poorest

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countries. Tonight you can change lives. Together, we can change

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lives. Please call the number on screen. # If I lay here # If I just

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lay here # Could you lie with me # And just forget the world? # Forget

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what we're told # Before we get too old. # Just show me a garden that's

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bursting into life. # All that I am. # And all that I erwas. # It here

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in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see. # I don't know where #

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Confused about how as well. # Just know that these things will never

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change for us at all. # If I lay here # If I just lay here. # Would

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you lie with me? And just forget Now it's time join the Strictly

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team, who agreed to face their toughest challenge ever for Sport

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Relief. They thought the battle for -- they

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fought the battle for the Strictly crown. Now at the world famous pine

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wood stoud yoz, Harry and Chelsee dance as you've never seen them

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before. This is Strictly Come Dancing Underwater for Sport Relief.

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Welcome to this very special edition of Strictly Come Dancing.

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This is quite frankly one of the most bonkers things we have ever

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attempted for Sport Relief. Strictly is going under water. We

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have built our own ballroom and submerged it into that dank. In a

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moment, our couples will dance on that very watery stage. They filmed

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scenes from Pirates Of The Caribbean and James Bond in that

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tank, talking of suave, sophisticated leading men, here's

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four who won't be shaken or stirred, it's the Strictly judges! Please

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welcome Craig Revel Horwood, Len Goodman, Bruno Tonioli and Olympic

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swimmer and fofrpler -- former contestant, Mark Foster (. Ahoy

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there boys. Ahoy. You look so sweet, you look about seven. Len, if I can

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call you captain Len. Yes please. What are you expecting and how

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excited are you, this has to be very difficult. I am truly excited.

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This is a unique experience for me, 50 years of judging ballroom

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dancing and here I am four men in a punt, getting ready to watch this.

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I can't wait. I don't know what to expect. I'm hoping it's going to be

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gorgeous. I have a feeling it's going to be gorgeous. Me too. Bruno,

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how challenging is it going to be. We're here for Sport Relief, but at

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the moment Chelsee and Harry have to walk down those stairs and dance,

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quite hard. It's incredibly hard. Imagine you have the resistance of

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the water, so every shape you make and everything you do you have to

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calculate the resistance of the water. Mark knows all about it, but

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there is the weightlessness as well. If you're clever, you can use the

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weightlessness that the water gives you to do fantastic, smooth shapes.

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So there are pros and cons. I'm sure it's going to be amazing.

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Craig, I know you're normally livid, but this is for Sport Relief, oh, a

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smile! They are under water. Are you excited in any way and joyful?

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Yes, I am excited. I'm looking forward to it all going horribly

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wrong darlingment -- Darling. you know more than the judges. How

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difficult would it be to move under that much water? It's a massive

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tank. It's not like they're in a puddle. No, it's incredibly

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different than doing it on land. You have the resistance against you.

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When you're moving under water you get out of breath. They'll be

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looking for breath as well. I know they have mouth pieces on, but it

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will be far different from on land. Thank you so much. First up it's

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Strictly champions Harry and Aliona. Before they put the motion in your

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ocean, let's see how they got on in training.

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Harry and Aliona! Winning Strictly was absolutely amazing. When we

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were asked to do Strictly Underwater we jumped at opportunity.

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When I arrived this morning at the stage, I kind of felt like I was

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filming the new bond movie. I got in the water, got the scuba

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equipment on. Went straight to the bottom. If you could play the James

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Bond music when I'm under there, that would be really cool.

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MUSIC: James Bond theme. Then we started dancing. Moving

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through water is a lot harder. It's like moving through treacle. You

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can't really communicate either. I think Aliona doesn't like it,

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because her dancing power is taken away when you're under water.

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Training for the series on Strictly, you do eight to ten hours a day.

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Dancing under water, we managed about three today. It's a lot more

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strenuous. Stop eating chocolate. We don't have much time. The

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routine isn't set, so we have to work harder tomorrow. Panicking

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yet? A little bit. Dancing for Sport Relief, Harry jud

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Apology for the loss of subtitles for 100 seconds

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CHEERING Oh! There you are -- there you are.

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Absolutely amazing, gob smacking, you clever girl. Guys, do you want

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robes? No thank you. Massive congratulations. You looked

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brilliant. And beautiful. How did it feel? Amazing. Very different,

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yeah. You took our breath away. How was it? Good fun. Loved it. Let's

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go to the judges. Our lovely guest, Mark how did they cope? Fantastic.

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That was absolutely brilliant. Is there anything you can't do, brodge

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of you, -- both of you. The shapes you make, your feel for the water,

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you were like happy feet down there. In a good way. Bruno what did you

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think? Hello sailor! I don't know why, but I have this sudden urge, I

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want to dive in, I really do. Slick and stream lined, truly a wonder

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down under. The shapes were beautiful, both of you were like a

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marvel of the abyss. Loved it. Thank you very much for your

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comments. Craig what did you think, beautiful wasn't it? You both took

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the plunge darling and it actually paid off - elegant, liquid, clean

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lines, loved it. I felt waves of emotion, darling. Especially when

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you went into that wonderful double attitude turn, that looked

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incredible. You then followed that into the fish lift, which I thought

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was completely and absolute a appropriate and the upper body

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strength Aliona you demonstrated under water, a one-arm press,

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brilliant. Delicious darling. judge, captain Len? The movement

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and the lifts were beautiful. You know they say that 80% of all life

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in the world is under water and you were full of life, well done.

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Thank you so much. Are you very happy with those comments?

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Extremely happy. They were beautiful. It must have been an

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extraordinary experience, then to come out and have the Craig Revel

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Horwood be nice. It's a shock really. No, amazing comments. Thank

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you very much. Judges, I believe 35, happy with that? Happy. Good.

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That's the end of part one. But that was merely a drop in the

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ocean... Can't help myself! In part two, we'll see Chelsee and Pasha

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brave the waters. But is Chelsee out of her depth. See you in part

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two and remember, do this with me, I'm in one of the biggest slums in

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Sierra Leone, a home to nearly 11,000 people. There's barely any

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running water here, Nissan taigs. This is where most people go to the

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toilet or -- no sanitation. This is where people go to the toilet and

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wash their clothes. Thousands of the poorest of this country's

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people are crammed into tiny shacks. Like Yenke and three generations of

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her family. Hello. I'm John. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,

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so there's eight of you. Not to be disrespectful, but this is

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basically the size of a small garden shed. You wouldn't want to

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spend a night here let alone all your life. This hut is on the edge

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of a sewage-filled river that regularly floods. So it's hard to

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comprehend how the family have managed to survive these living

:25:49.:25:57.

conditions. It turns out they haven't. She's lost five children

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to preventable illnesses by living here.

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TRANSLATION: Some of them died of pneumonia and the others malaria,

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because we don't have the money, we could not afford the proper

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medicines, so they died. How old? One year old, one year six months,

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three months, four months, five months. With everything that has

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happened to you, do you still have hope for your family?

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TRANSLATION: I still have hope because I am still alive. I may be

:26:38.:26:48.

one day, one of our kids will succeed and help us all.

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children are battling to survive here. Your money has already paid

:26:51.:26:58.

for some water taps to be installed, but there's a much bigger problem.

:26:58.:27:06.

At this moment in time, there's 18 toilets that work here. There's

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10,900 people living here. That's an incomprehensible dilemma that we

:27:13.:27:18.

just don't face. But Yenke's 11- year-old granddaughter has to face

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:27:28.:27:43.

it every day. Can you explain where You can see why. Can you imagine

:27:43.:27:52.

asking your 11-year-old daughter to go to the toilet into the river? I

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calm here to learn something, but I've got to be honest with you, I

:27:55.:28:00.

wasn't expecting anything like this. She's a beautiful 11-year-old girl,

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someone's daughter and has to face this cesspit every day. What are

:28:08.:28:11.

your worries for the future? What are the things that you worry

:28:11.:28:21.
:28:21.:28:23.

about? You lost your sister, and you worry

:28:23.:28:32.

you will die too? No kid in the world should be worrying about

:28:32.:28:36.

dying. Kids at home worry about whether they've got the right

:28:36.:28:46.
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trainers on. This is life and death. This little girl and her family's

:28:47.:28:53.

got the hope. You can provide the help. Please call 03457 910 910.

:28:53.:29:03.
:29:03.:29:06.

Thank you. Back to Strictly now and let's see

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how Chelsee and Pasha got on as they prepare for their

:29:10.:29:20.
:29:20.:29:22.

Welcome back to Pinewood Studios for part two of Strictly Come

:29:22.:29:29.

Dancing Underwater. As it's Sport Relief we've taken Strictly to new

:29:29.:29:36.

heights by taking it to new depths. We've submerged our ballroom and

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1.2 million litres of water. Earlier champions Harry and Aliona

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made a splash with their amazing routine here's a reminder of how

:29:44.:29:54.
:29:54.:29:57.

Hello sailor. Slick and streamlined. Truly a wonder down under. Elegant,

:29:57.:30:02.

liquid, clean lines, loved it. I felt waves of emotion, darling.

:30:02.:30:06.

was phenomenal, the shapes you make and everything else, your feel for

:30:06.:30:09.

the water, you're like happy feet down there. You were full of life

:30:09.:30:19.
:30:19.:30:31.

Next it is Chelsee and Pasha. Here they are in training. I come second

:30:31.:30:37.

in Strictly and it would be amazing to come home with a trophy. We're

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taking our first steps in underwater dancing. I'm not going

:30:45.:30:55.
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in there. I don't lieb it. -- like it. I don't like going under water.

:30:55.:31:05.
:31:05.:31:09.

It goes in me eyes. I can't do it. Oh! I'm trying to work me breathing

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out. I'm so used to breathing through me nose. I think we're

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going through hardest stage. Because the main thing is to get

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comfortable being under water. feels unnatural. I sometimes panic

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when I have been down there. uncomfortable and scary to be under

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water. It is a different vairplt. knew it would be hard and it is

:31:37.:31:47.

hard for me. -- environment. I'm so proud of Chelsee. I can't do it.

:31:47.:31:57.
:31:57.:32:12.

APPLAUSE. Dancing under water, # Somewhere beyond the sea. #

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Somewhere waiting for me # My lover stands on golden sand and watches

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for ships that go sailing. # Somewhere beyond the sea. # She's

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there watching for me. # If I could fly like birds on high, then

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straight to her arms I'd go sailing! # It's fun beyond the

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stars. # It's near, beyond the moon. # I know beyond a doubt, my heart

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will lead me there soon. # We'll meet beyond the shores. We'll kiss

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just as before # Happy we'll be, beyond the sea. # And never again

:33:24.:33:34.
:33:34.:33:56.

Are you all right darling? That was so good. How was it? Amazing. It is

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scary being down there. But once you are down there, you feel your

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breathing's going OK, it's amazing. I loved it. You did brilliantly.

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Did youen joy it? Yes, everything went the way we planned and it is

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such a feel of freedom. Yes and I can do the split down there.

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our judge and Mark, how do you think they coped, they had tables

:34:25.:34:30.

and chairs and everything. We were talking, I hadn't seen any rest

:34:30.:34:35.

hearseals, but Chelsee had problems getting under the water, but you

:34:35.:34:39.

war star fish, you were fantastic. You did more movement than Harry

:34:39.:34:47.

and I think you were amazing. Well done. Bruno? Chelsee, you delicious

:34:47.:34:56.

Mermaid! And in your underwater kingdom, there was a moment when

:34:57.:35:02.

you swam under, reaching for the cam ra, it was pure Esther Williams,

:35:02.:35:08.

it was great. You did fantasticically. Mr No longer

:35:08.:35:13.

grumpy and just full of joy, Craig Revel Horwood. I thought the

:35:13.:35:18.

transitions were slightly fishy. There were just a bit complex. It

:35:18.:35:25.

looked a bit more like a shark attack and a feeding frenzy. But

:35:25.:35:30.

you did a million and one steps, you kept in character the whole way

:35:30.:35:37.

and I loved the use of props. Tables, chairs, champagne glasses,

:35:37.:35:42.

absolutely heaven. Full of drama. I'd say water heaven, darling.

:35:42.:35:48.

Gorgeous. Brilliant. Thank you. Finally head judge, Len. My little

:35:48.:35:53.

water baby, I tell you whatever anyone gives to Sport Relief, you

:35:54.:35:58.

have given more. I know you were petrified and you have come out and

:35:58.:36:05.

do it. I think that was amazing. You did a fantastic job. It was

:36:05.:36:13.

very well done. APPLAUSE. Well done. Before we get the scores, let's

:36:13.:36:22.

welcome back Harry and Aliona. You of course scored 35. We will find

:36:22.:36:26.

out what Chelsee you have scored. I would say if it is a tie, then the

:36:26.:36:31.

king, otherwise known as Len, will decide who lifts the trophy. Good

:36:31.:36:41.
:36:41.:36:55.

luck. Will the judges please reveal It's a tie! Let's go to Len. This

:36:56.:37:00.

is serious fpts somebody does win a beautiful Sport Relief underwater

:37:00.:37:07.

trophy. Who would you like to see win? Well I tied both of you. I

:37:07.:37:12.

gave you both an eight, because first I thought Harry's, that

:37:12.:37:16.

actual dance was baufl and I loved the movement of it. -- beautiful.

:37:16.:37:24.

However I must say that I felt that as a dance from a celebrity, under

:37:24.:37:29.

water, Chelsee did a bit more dancing. You mainly partnered

:37:30.:37:35.

Chelsea See mainly danced. My decision is for you Chelsee and

:37:35.:37:40.

Pasha. We have a winner of Sport Relief Strictly Come Dancing

:37:40.:37:50.
:37:50.:37:52.

underwater. Raise it above your head. I feel stupid, but I'm made

:37:52.:37:58.

up. Stupid and made up is good. Thank you. I was an incredible

:37:58.:38:02.

experience for both couples. I think we are both winners today.

:38:02.:38:07.

You were, are you happy for them? Delighted. It is an may mazing

:38:07.:38:16.

thing to be part of and Chelsea See did incredibly well. And it is an

:38:16.:38:21.

amazing thing. Thank you. We have a winner, please raise the roof for

:38:21.:38:26.

our Sport Relief Strictly Come Dancing Underwater champion,

:38:26.:38:36.
:38:36.:38:57.

From north to south, east to west. You made a difference. You are the

:38:57.:39:04.

best. Whether climbing, skaiteding or swimming a mile, you always

:39:04.:39:13.

limbered up in true style. On ships, riegd bikes, or fitness -- riding

:39:13.:39:18.

bikes or or fitness machines, you went out in teams. With family or

:39:18.:39:28.

friends, or going a - alone, you did your best. You got out fr bed

:39:28.:39:36.

and raised loads of money. We thank you dearly for every peny raised,

:39:36.:39:42.

now get some raised, now get some rest. Thank you, we hope you had

:39:42.:39:52.
:39:52.:39:54.

fun, you are baufl and brilliant, - - beautiful every last one.

:39:54.:40:04.
:40:04.:40:11.

time for Miranda, who seems to have Oh yes that, man played an ace the

:40:11.:40:18.

moment he took his track suits off. He can lob his eyes my way. He can

:40:18.:40:27.

have a racquet together. Good one. I'd like a good service! Oh that's

:40:27.:40:33.

just desperate! Where's Miranda. I do hope she behaves herself. I have

:40:33.:40:41.

never risked exposing her in a box. # Land of hope and tkphrory... --

:40:41.:40:49.

glory, why do we never know the words. The button is a Salah my --

:40:49.:40:59.
:40:59.:41:00.

Salah Mey stick. Oh the tennis. That is brilliant. Oh I'm sorry

:41:00.:41:09.

Dame scary Bruce phase. It is a not the news now. Chill axe owe Brucey.

:41:09.:41:15.

Not that I'm saying you look like Bruce Forsythe. You are actually

:41:15.:41:21.

beautiful in the flesh. What are you wearing. I thought Albert Hall

:41:21.:41:31.
:41:31.:41:32.

Proms. You look like a rugby player, you look like an absolute... Moron!

:41:32.:41:36.

Get your plaity stick out of my face. There is a joke there

:41:36.:41:41.

somewhere. Quick! I will go home and change. No, you will miss

:41:41.:41:47.

everything. I'm not bothered about the tennis. But there are men here

:41:47.:41:54.

who are what I call tall. Tall rich men with bulging thighs. I might

:41:55.:42:04.

stick around. It is Virginia Wade. Your royal tennisness. I'm needed

:42:04.:42:12.

in the VIP room. So are we. There will be men. We're needed in the

:42:12.:42:21.

VIP room, OMG, LOLer, because we are all more important people than

:42:21.:42:31.
:42:31.:42:32.

you. Such fun. She said such fun. VIP room. We're in. Act casual.

:42:32.:42:41.

Look around for men. Smie sure. -- Sure. You're look very strange.

:42:41.:42:51.
:42:51.:42:53.

try tock casual. It is Robbie safr accuse savage. Hello I'm Penny.

:42:53.:43:03.
:43:03.:43:04.

This is my daughter Miranda. Hello. Hello nice the meet you. Oh Savage.

:43:04.:43:14.
:43:14.:43:18.

You can savage me any time! What am I doing? Chow, ring me. Oh it is Mo

:43:18.:43:27.

para. Hello Mo. I will be fine. So Mo, Mo, fara, and ball. Mighty Mo.

:43:27.:43:37.
:43:37.:43:39.

And big Mo. A Mo hee toe! A Mo Mo a go go! Here's a gone, gone. Why do

:43:39.:43:44.

you have to be my daughter. It is just the way it goes. You're weird.

:43:44.:43:54.
:43:54.:43:54.

I defy you to do better. Right. Fine. Joe Calzaghe. Hello Joe.

:43:54.:43:58.

you doing? What say you and I engage in some sexual sparring,

:43:58.:44:08.
:44:08.:44:10.

Ding, Ding, round one, bash, bash, boom, bash bang! Boom! Oh I'm sorry,

:44:10.:44:17.

Miss Balding. So sorry. What and I'm weird. You're suppose to be

:44:17.:44:25.

casual with famous people and I put my bum in Clare Balding's face.

:44:25.:44:31.

It's too much! That was Roberto Mancini. What is going on over

:44:31.:44:38.

there. Come here. Who are you lot. Have you got pass? Who are we, that

:44:38.:44:48.
:44:48.:44:48.

is rude, for we are athletes. Yeah. This is... Hill... My name is

:44:48.:44:58.
:44:58.:45:00.

Pavlova, I'm a Russian gymnast. this gymnast. And I am... She's

:45:00.:45:05.

heavy weight. I thought I recognised you. Iesm a heavy weight

:45:05.:45:15.

boxer, lifter, I lift heavy boxes. Watch me lift! And... Oh dear I

:45:15.:45:22.

think you have been eating too many crisps. Who are you really.

:45:22.:45:32.
:45:32.:45:34.

Barker. No, I'm suer Barker. I don't think so. No, I am Sue Barker.

:45:34.:45:38.

We have only got your word for that. I don't know who you are. She

:45:38.:45:44.

shouldn't be in this VIP room, what does she know about tennis. This is

:45:44.:45:54.
:45:54.:46:00.

Sue, how are you? Fantastic question of sport the other day. I

:46:00.:46:10.
:46:10.:46:20.

loved it. I'm Sue Barker. No, I'm Oh, cricketers. Lads, catch!

:46:20.:46:30.

sorry. Hello. Sorry about that. That was wholey inappropriate. Oh,

:46:30.:46:33.

look, Goran Ivanisevic, now he is the perfect man. Bit out of your

:46:33.:46:39.

league. Try and keep it a tiny bit real, girlfriend. What is this?

:46:39.:46:47.

know, keeping it in the celebrity groove. No me and Goran. Out of

:46:47.:46:53.

your league. OK jog on, ideally for 26.2 miles. Excuse me Jessica

:46:53.:46:59.

Ennis! You're never Goce to believe who's here, my long-term crush

:46:59.:47:06.

Michael Owen. Is that his real size or has someone put him on a hot

:47:06.:47:10.

wash. Look who he's with, James Cracknell. He is perfect for you.

:47:10.:47:20.
:47:20.:47:21.

Oh, I wouldn't mind striking gold with a bit of James Cracknell. Calm.

:47:21.:47:26.

He winked. He winked at me. Due see that? OK. All right. What do we do?

:47:26.:47:36.
:47:36.:47:39.

Smile. All right Mo? He waved at me. He called me Mo which clearly

:47:39.:47:45.

stands for most definitely would. We are so in there. Oh, yeah!

:47:45.:47:51.

aren't they coming over? Do you know what I think it is? I think

:47:51.:47:55.

they're intimidated by the dress. Oh, you're so right. If I wasn't

:47:55.:48:01.

wearing this dress, they'd be all over us. He winked again. OK, let's

:48:01.:48:07.

get out of here, getting you out of that and plan. OK. What can I wear?

:48:07.:48:13.

We need to dress you down. You look needy and desperate. I am needy and

:48:13.:48:16.

desperate. Where can I change? I need a room to change in. I need a

:48:16.:48:26.
:48:26.:48:29.

sort of changing room, as it were. There's no-one here. OK. Look, a

:48:29.:48:35.

thong! Do you think he'd like me in a thong. He looks like a thong sort

:48:35.:48:42.

of a man. What am I going to do? Perfect, a tennis kit. It's a man's.

:48:42.:48:48.

Exactly, it will fit. Oh, rude. I tell you what size you'll look in

:48:49.:48:58.
:48:59.:48:59.

that jute fit. Size sexy baby. Men like a sorty look. Get those legs

:48:59.:49:07.

out. Excuse me, I have a thng to put on. -- thong to put on.

:49:07.:49:14.

Ivanisevic, your match is starting, please come with me. Mr Ivanisevic?

:49:14.:49:17.

Sorry, there's been a misunderstanding.

:49:17.:49:23.

misunderstanding, you're on next. He looked straight at me and still

:49:23.:49:26.

thought I was Goran Ivanisevic. It's one thing from the back!

:49:26.:49:31.

as you can please. Why can't I get mistaken for Anna Kournikova.

:49:31.:49:41.
:49:41.:49:43.

Excuse me young chap, there's been a mistake. Miranda? Where is my

:49:43.:49:53.
:49:53.:49:57.

kit? Oh... Ouch. Arrrr. What are you doing? I thought you winked at

:49:57.:50:02.

me. You did it again. No I've got dodgy new contact lenss. Oh, right.

:50:02.:50:06.

Well you know, your loss, your loss, my little elfin friend. Tomorrow

:50:06.:50:09.

you'll be playing with Wayne Rooney. I'll be playing with these bad boys

:50:09.:50:16.

and a boff and a boff. The thing is I really think there's been a bit

:50:17.:50:25.

of... Oh, God it's Tiger Tim. shape Goran. I really think you

:50:25.:50:30.

should check in the dressing room. He's clearly still down there.

:50:30.:50:38.

You're such a card. Where's Miranda. I thought she was with you.

:50:38.:50:48.
:50:48.:50:50.

COMMENTATOR: Welcome Tim Henman and Goran Ivanisevic. What on earth?

:50:50.:51:00.

Quick, do something. How can we stop her? I'll serve. I might as

:51:00.:51:10.
:51:10.:51:21.

well. It's only henman. Oh, my, Love-15. This is mortgagifying. --

:51:21.:51:29.

mortifying. Love-30. It's OK. It came back quite fast. I wasn't

:51:29.:51:34.

expecting that. She'll never find a husband, if it gets out she's been

:51:34.:51:44.
:51:44.:51:54.

She won a point! Goran! Goran! CROWD CHANTS: Goran!

:51:54.:52:04.
:52:04.:52:35.

MUSIC: Theme to Rocky Advantage Ivanisevic. Goran, Goran!

:52:35.:52:45.
:52:45.:52:45.

Excuse me. What are you doing? Putting us all out of our misery.

:52:45.:52:55.
:52:55.:53:07.

You all right? Thank you. Oh, gosh... Hello Mr Ivanisevic,

:53:07.:53:16.

Sir. Erm, sorry, I'm wearing your kit. It's just... You look hot.

:53:16.:53:22.

am a bit sweaty. I started your match. We're in the lead. I mean

:53:23.:53:32.
:53:33.:53:51.

Size sexy! Mr Lend le your match with McEnrow in two -- McEnroe in

:53:51.:53:58.

two minutes' time please. See you later. Sport Relief 2012 saw

:53:58.:54:01.

extraordinary musical contributions from bands such as JLS, Snow Patrol

:54:01.:54:10.

and my personal favourite and the favourite of everyone over 45 LMFAO.

:54:10.:54:20.
:54:20.:54:33.

# I hope that the world stops raining

:54:33.:54:36.

# Stops turning its back on the young

:54:36.:54:42.

# See nobody here is blameless # I hope that we can fix all that

:54:42.:54:48.

we've done # I really hope Martin can't see

:54:48.:54:51.

this # I hope that we still have a dream

:54:51.:54:54.

# I'm hoping that change isn't hopeless

:54:54.:55:04.
:55:04.:55:06.

# I'm hoping to start it with me # I just hope I'm not the only one

:55:06.:55:16.
:55:16.:55:17.

# Yes, I just hope I'm not the only # I hope we start seeing forever

:55:17.:55:27.

# Instead of what we can gain in a # I hope we start seeing each other

:55:27.:55:30.

# Because don't we all bleed the same?

:55:30.:55:36.

# I really hope someone can hear me # That a child doesn't bear the

:55:36.:55:40.

weight of a gun # I find the voice within me

:55:40.:55:50.
:55:50.:55:51.

# To scream at the top of my lungs # I just hope I'm not the only one

:55:52.:56:01.
:56:02.:56:07.

# Yes, I just hope I'm not the only # Louder, I cannot hear you

:56:07.:56:14.

# How can things be better left unsaid?

:56:14.:56:24.
:56:24.:56:25.

# Call me, call me a dreamer # But it seems the dreams are all

:56:25.:56:33.

that we've got left # Ooohhh

:56:33.:56:36.

# I hope that we still have a heartbeat

:56:36.:56:44.

# I hope we don't turn to stone # At night when you turn the lights

:56:44.:56:52.

# I hope you don't cry alone # I hope we stop taking for granted

:56:52.:56:59.

# All of the land all of the sea # I'm taking a chance on loving

:56:59.:57:09.
:57:09.:57:10.

# I hope that you take it with me # I just hope I'm not the only one

:57:10.:57:20.
:57:20.:57:23.

# Yes, I just hope I'm not the only # Yes, I just hope I'm not the only

:57:23.:57:33.
:57:33.:57:44.

You can still donate now by phone or via the website. Please give

:57:44.:57:52.

what you can and make a difference to people's lives.

:57:52.:57:58.

When I need support I turn to my family. Sometimes when things are

:57:58.:58:05.

tough I turn to my wife. When I've had a bad day I find strength in my

:58:05.:58:09.

dad. But there are thousands of people right here in the UK, who

:58:09.:58:12.

feel they have no-one to turn to. Sport Relief is working hard to

:58:12.:58:15.

find people in trouble and give them a helping hand just when they

:58:15.:58:25.
:58:25.:58:27.

need it. Any of the girls would say, "Why can't he give me just one more

:58:27.:58:37.
:58:37.:58:39.

kiss? Why can't he say goodbye to me? "I was diagnosed with

:58:39.:58:46.

schizophrenia. Depression. Bipolar. A lot of people find it difficult

:58:46.:58:51.

to talk about it. They feel a bit ashamed. Life sometimes is just so

:58:51.:58:56.

hard. Over the years, Sport Relief money has helped all sorts of

:58:56.:59:00.

people from all over the country. Get them back on their feet, help

:59:00.:59:04.

them stand tall with pride. never give up. Children who bear

:59:04.:59:07.

the huge responsibility and challenge of looking after their

:59:07.:59:17.
:59:17.:59:17.

own parent. My mum's got multiple sclerosis which makes her really

:59:17.:59:21.

tired. I mainly help my mum with the cooking and I help with the

:59:21.:59:27.

injections. And getting things ready for her. I remember certain

:59:27.:59:33.

smells and I started really hearing high echo. Your head starts banging.

:59:33.:59:36.

I started seeing things, not flash backs, I mean literally seeing

:59:36.:59:44.

things. It's like looking at a ghost of somebody that used to be

:59:44.:59:48.

there. I just sat beside him and he's rocking and crying. He didn't

:59:48.:59:55.

know who I was. He didn't know where he was. He was scared. Sorry,

:59:55.:00:05.
:00:05.:00:12.

But they do have someone who cares - they have you. Because 50% of

:00:12.:00:18.

Sport Relief money gets spent here in the UK. In England, Northern

:00:18.:00:28.

Ireland, Scotland and Wales. Your funny -- money funds projects

:00:28.:00:33.

nationwide. I have witnessed how important these organisations are.

:00:33.:00:42.

It is your money that makes all of this possible. It is a great idea

:00:42.:00:47.

bring able bodied and disabled young people together to break down

:00:47.:00:51.

barriers. And what better way to do than through through sport?

:00:51.:00:56.

helps me be more independent and come here. The project, it is

:00:56.:01:03.

fantastic. I can't wish for a better support network. Tonight you

:01:03.:01:08.

can be the rock that support the lifeline in sun's life. Someone who

:01:08.:01:15.

needs your help right now. Call the number on screen now. And make a

:01:15.:01:23.

difference to someone's life. Or donate online. A big, big, thank

:01:23.:01:33.
:01:33.:01:34.

you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Next, it

:01:34.:01:37.

is Britain's Got Talent. Where a new boy band think they have got

:01:37.:01:47.
:01:47.:01:47.

what it sakes to impress Simon. They haven't! Britain's Got Talent

:01:47.:01:53.

comes to London. And among the hopefuls waiting in the queue,

:01:53.:02:01.

stand a new boy band. They have travelled from Benidorm in Spain.

:02:01.:02:11.
:02:11.:02:13.

I'm Liam. I'm Kenny. I'm with Asparagus Rising. I'm Michael and

:02:13.:02:20.

together we are are - Los Chorizos. Who have we got here? Los Chorizos.

:02:20.:02:26.

How did you meet? On holiday in Benidorm. I put four young lads

:02:26.:02:33.

together with a lot of raw talent. Nick put us together and made a

:02:33.:02:38.

supergroup for the 21st Century. Wow! I think they have got what it

:02:38.:02:44.

takes to win. They have the dance moves of Divrsty. They have got the

:02:44.:02:54.
:02:54.:02:56.

appeal of Joe McElderry. And The Got the voices of JLM. JLS!

:02:56.:03:01.

name is Los Chorizos, which means I can't find me sausages. Iefrplt

:03:01.:03:10.

what you talking about? It means hot fiery meat. I knew that. I'm

:03:10.:03:16.

not a complete idiot. Really, which part is missing. How are the nerves.

:03:16.:03:22.

We are feeling good, we're going to win. That is fighting talk. No, I'm

:03:22.:03:31.

a lover, not a fighter. Benidorm has got talent and we're bringing

:03:31.:03:37.

to it a stage near you, Los Chorizos! Los Chorizos. I still

:03:37.:03:47.
:03:47.:03:54.

think it sounds like can't find me sausages. APPLAUSE. Hello, hi Simon.

:03:54.:03:58.

Who are you? We're a boy band from Benidorm and we're called Los

:03:58.:04:08.
:04:08.:04:09.

Chorizos! It means hot sausages. Great.Ly, Are you all right. Have

:04:09.:04:15.

you seen me husband. He is their manager. He wanted to watch it from

:04:15.:04:21.

the front. Do you think you can win. I can we can absolutely win. Can I

:04:21.:04:28.

have your names. I'm Liam and I'm 18. All right and you? Michael and

:04:28.:04:38.
:04:38.:04:41.

I'm 13. You. Math owe. How old are you? 25. The rest. Where do you see

:04:41.:04:47.

yourselfs in five years time. Las Vegas. In Hollywood. Hollywood.

:04:47.:04:54.

That is near Las Vegas. What would you call your first album?

:04:54.:05:02.

Sausages! What did he say? Sausages. OK. You ready. Shall we start.

:05:02.:05:12.
:05:12.:05:14.

Thank you. Good luck. Come on Los Chorizos this what is has all been

:05:14.:05:23.

about. # Let's get ready, let's get ready to rumble. I know this one.

:05:23.:05:32.

Come on. Let's get ready # Let's get ready I come on Liam man!

:05:32.:05:42.
:05:42.:05:42.

get ready to rumble. He's forgot the hovers -- moves. Wash United

:05:42.:05:51.

get the mic, psyche! Et let's get ready to rumble. Everyone rumle.

:05:51.:06:00.

Let's get ready to rumble # Get ready, get steady, and rumble.

:06:00.:06:10.
:06:10.:06:23.

That is my son. Get ready to rumble! Who buzzed them? Simon.

:06:23.:06:32.

Simon Cowell? Yes. Get redy, get steady, let's rumble. Everybody

:06:32.:06:42.
:06:42.:06:49.

rumble. Let's get ready to rumble. Rumble ladies. Rumble. Rumble.

:06:49.:06:59.
:06:59.:07:00.

hot. Thank you. What did you think? I think you guys are great. You're

:07:00.:07:08.

very sexy, clearly. You are a fantastic dancer. What is there not

:07:09.:07:14.

to like. David what kid -- did you think? The song was bad enough

:07:14.:07:24.
:07:24.:07:30.

first time around. Carmen Electra. Let's get ready to rumble, yes clam

:07:30.:07:38.

This was arguably one of worst groups I have ever seen. And the

:07:38.:07:44.

idea... Sorry the idea you called yourself a boy band was ridiculous.

:07:44.:07:54.
:07:54.:07:56.

We're a boy band. CROWD BOOS. not having it. Right, that's it.

:07:57.:08:03.

Listen, Cowell, you don't know nothing about talent. This lad here,

:08:03.:08:09.

he is my grandson. And if you say anything to him, I'll kick you so

:08:09.:08:17.

hard where it hurts, you will be singing soprano to Ding, dong,

:08:17.:08:22.

merrily on high! This is my mother and I'm sorry, but she gets a

:08:22.:08:30.

bitter tabl when she's not had a -- gets a bitter tabl when she has not

:08:30.:08:40.
:08:40.:08:45.

had a cigarette. Let's vote on it. I have to say, yes. Alesha? It is a

:08:45.:08:54.

yes for me, guys. Two yes, one more and they're through. I'm going to

:08:54.:09:04.
:09:04.:09:05.

say absolutely no. So your fate lies with David. Hmm... I think

:09:06.:09:11.

there is potential. Fing you worked for the next say 70 or the 80 years,

:09:11.:09:21.
:09:21.:09:23.

he hearseing you might have something. So I'm going to say yes!

:09:24.:09:33.
:09:34.:09:47.

You're through. Bye! If you're taking part in the Sport Relief run,

:09:47.:09:52.

good luck and don't forget to watch the Sport Relief mile show on BBC1

:09:52.:10:02.
:10:02.:10:32.

# You told me I should live my life to the limit. # What a shame that

:10:32.:10:39.

my heart don't lie # I'm determined when you trust in me. It's all I

:10:39.:10:49.
:10:49.:10:49.

need. # Now I'm hoping if you hear this, you believe that all I do is

:10:50.:10:58.

to make you proud. # Make you stronger, so I make my mind up, all

:10:58.:11:07.

I do is to make you proud. # Proud, proud. Make you proud. # Make you

:11:07.:11:15.

proud proud. # All that I do is to make you proud. # I never gave up

:11:15.:11:23.

then pause you keep hope alive # And the champion gives one last

:11:23.:11:28.

ride. # Yeah! # You said I deserve the best in life, I should be

:11:28.:11:37.

winning. # You have got to spread your wings and prepare to fly. # Oh

:11:37.:11:43.

the shape of my heart don't lie. # I'm determined with your faith in

:11:43.:11:53.
:11:53.:11:54.

me. To make you see. # Now I'm hoping if you hear this. # You

:11:54.:12:04.
:12:04.:12:05.

believe that all I do is to make you proud. # Make me stronger. # So

:12:05.:12:13.

I make my mind up # All that I do is to make you proud. # Proud proud

:12:13.:12:23.
:12:23.:12:23.

proud! Make you proud proud proud! # All I do is to make you proud! #

:12:23.:12:32.

No body can tell me they were there for me. # Before you came around. #

:12:32.:12:42.
:12:42.:12:44.

There was pain in every heartbeat. # But eventually you built my

:12:44.:12:51.

reserve to be strong. # Now I'm hoping if you hear this, you

:12:51.:13:00.

believe that all I do is to make you proud! # I'm hoping # If you

:13:00.:13:10.

hear this # You believe that all I do is to make you proud! # Make me

:13:10.:13:18.

stronger, so I rise up. Hash make my minds up, all I do is to make

:13:18.:13:28.
:13:28.:13:30.