Sport Relief Part 1 Sport Relief

# When I am down and, oh, my soul, so weary

# When troubles come and my heart burdened be

# Then I am still and wait here in the silence

# Until you come and sit awhile with me

# You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

# You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

# I am strong when I am on your shoulders

# You raise me up to more than I can be

# You raise me up to more than I can be

# You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

# You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

# I am strong when I am on your shoulders

# You raise me up to more than I can be

# You raise me up so I can stand on mountains

# You raise me up to walk on stormy seas

# I am strong when I am on your shoulders

# You raise me up to more than I can be

Coming live from the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, this is Sport Relief

2016. Please welcome your hosts, David Walliams and Gary Lineker.

An EPIC start to the night and a big thank you to our Sport Relief choirs

That has definitely set the tone for the huge night

This year we have totally supersized Sport Relief.

That's right, this show just gets better with age.

Sport Relief is BACK, and we are coming to you live

And not only are we here in the Copper Box Arena,

but we have also taken over Lee Valley VeloPark

AND the London Aquatics Centre, for the return of...

Tonight, Olympic hero Sir Steve Redgrave

is going head-to-head with cricketing legend

Andrew Freddie Flintoff, captaining two teams,

taking on five colossal sporting challenges.

And we'll be going to Dan Walker at the VeloPark

and Ore Oduba at the Aquatics centre, to meet the teams soon.

..we have the biggest and best night of entertainment EVER

Coming up tonight on Sport Relief, after 40 years, Frank Spencer comes

back to your screens in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. You have ruined my car,

you idiot. Idriss LBF stars in May special edition of Luther. -- Idris

Elba. It's dead. Peter Crouch takes a trip to Little Britain. I've got

you a place with the lionesses. I haven't got a lady. I've got someone

that can help you with that. Jack Whitehall pays a visit to the

world's most expensive footballer. I want England to win the you rose and

to do that I'm going to enlist the help of the best player in Europe.

Can you introduce me to Cristiano Ronaldo? And two... Just splashing

about in the water, isn't it? All of this and much more coming up tonight

on Sport Relief 2016. That is one full evening

of entertainment! Just look at how many famous

faces are contributing I've got this, Gary,

I know who they all are. From Strictly Come

Dancing, Tess Daly! AND of course TV

detective Hercule Poirot. What he really means is,

amongst our galaxy of stars, John Bishop, Davina McCall and Idris

Elba. We really should have put

some pictures up. But best of all, we have the return

of one of Britain's After nearly 40 years away,

he's back tonight - It's the return of Michael Crawford

as Frank Spencer, in a very special Now of course, the reason

we're all here tonight is to change people's

lives for the better - both here in the UK and in

the world's poorest countries. Since we started Sport Relief 14

years ago, you've helped us Here are some of the amazing

things you've made happen. Sport has the power

to change the world. It has the power to unite people

in a way that little else does. Sport can create hope where once

there was only despair. For the last 14 years,

Sport Relief and you, the British public, have been

working together to change lives Half of your donations fund

projects here in the UK. The other half go to the poorest

countries in the world. In Kenya, we are supporting

a project that uses football to teach leadership

skills and teamwork. And it inspires children

to get an education. For young people with disabilities

in the UK, sport can unlock a whole It makes me feel confident

and I make new friends. Your money supports street

children across the world, giving them a safe place to sleep,

and, through sport, the chance In Bangladesh, drowning in floods

is a major cause of death in children, so Sport Relief

taught children to swim Here at home, a lot of older people

can face loneliness and depression. Sport Relief supported this project,

where sport makes them feel part Across the world, your donations

are inspiring people to get active I want to be the best

boxer in the world. That's not a bad reason

to support something, is it? This is your chance to be part

of something amazing. So please, help us to do even

more and be as generous The money you give tonight will find

all kinds of great work at home and across the world. We wanted to start

with that film because we completely believe in the power and passion of

sport to change lives. It is Sport Relief, after role.

And it would be great if you could be part of tonight's

There are three main ways you can do this and it couldn't be easier.

You can head over to bbc.co.uk/sportrelief

Or you can give over the phone by calling 03457 910 910.

Standard geographic charges from landlines and mobiles

Alternatively, you can donate ten pounds by texting YES to 70010.

Texts will cost ?10 plus your standard network message charge

and 100% of your donation will go to Sport Relief.

You must be 16 or over and please ask the bill payer's permission.

For full terms and conditions and more information go

AND you can also take your money into most banks and building

when you call tonight and our operator asks if we can

claim Gift Aid on your donation, if you are a UK taxpayer,

It means the taxman gives us an extra 25p for every

It doesn't cost you a penny extra, so please make sure you say yes.

Now let's go over to the VeloPark and meet the two

teams who are ready to go head to head in...

Good evening and welcome to the Lee Valley VeloPark! Tonight, we have

two teams and one of them is going to be crowned Clash of the Titans

champions 2016. Are we ready to meet the teams? I think they are. That is

an. First up, Team Flintoff. I am Freddie Flintoff and I played a bit

of cricket in my time. I have been in the Titans before. We lost, but I

have been promoted to captain. Redemption for me would be showing I

can captain the team successfully. Sir Steve Redgrave, how can he wrote

for so many years? It is just splashing in the water isn't it?

This time, I've got to win. I have assembled the perfect team. Harry

Judd, strictly in it to win it. Maddy Hill, Queen of Albert Square,

who will reign supreme in the rhythmic gymnastics. Mark Wright,

ready to show Team Redgrave the only way is winning. Sophie Raworth, she

is set to make headlines on the Velodrome track. Russell Kane, is

sporting prowess is no laughing matter. And Darren Gough. He will

bowl the competition out of the park. I really don't like losing.

Sir Steve, savour those Olympic medals because you are not going to

win anything tonight. Come on, let's meet Team Flintoff first, starting

with Darren Gough! Sophie Raworth! Russell Kane! Harry Judd! Maddy

Hill! Mark Wright! And they are led by their captain, Mr Freddie

Flintoff! Welcome, Team Flintoff. Are we ready

to meet their opponents, ladies and gentlemen? I think that is yes as

well. There is Team Redgrave. My name is Steve Redgrave and are used

to do a bit of rowing. I am a five times Olympic gold medallist, not

bad. Once a sportsman, always a sportsman. Once you have a

competitive edge, you never lose it. The only reason I'm involved is to

win. As captain, I'm expecting big things. I will push my team to their

limits. For Team Redgrave, Will Young, the performer who has

promised to deliver in the pool. Hugh Dennis, he won't be outnumbered

in the Velodrome. Kate Garraway, prepare to be wowed in rhythmic

gymnastics. Clara Amfo oh, the DJ who is ready to hit the track. Paddy

McGuinness will take out the competition in the wrestling. Ahmed

Jelly, a funny guy with serious talent. Dan Snow, ready to make

Titans history. At watch out for some drama tonight with Tankika

Empson. I know Freddie is competitive but I want to win it

more. Flintoff, eat my dust! Please give it up for Team Redgrave,

Will Young, Kate Garraway, Hugh Dennis, Tamika, Paddy McGuinness,

Dan Snow, Claire and folk, Omid, and team captain, Sir Steve Redgrave.

Welcome to Team Redgrave and Team Flintoff. Let's speak to the

captains, Freddie, you did this two years ago and lost. How do you make

sure this team get it right this year? We have a good team, we've got

rid of John Bishop, he was terrible. We have mixed abilities, good at

different siblings, and I think we will be all right. Batting victory

tonight? I wouldn't say that, but we are quietly confident. Team Flintoff

talking himself is up. Steve Redgrave, iconic sports stars, every

one of them. A team of champions? We do have a team of champions. When

Seb Coe handed on the baton two years ago, they have been in

training, fighting to go, desperate to be out there. Both teams have

been joined by special guests tonight. Each with the royal seal of

approval. Hi everyone, I'm thrilled to introduce two athletes who

represented Team GB in the first-ever Invictus Games in London

2014. On Team Flintoff, Mike Goody, champion in the pool. On Team

Redgrave, Paul Vice, gold medal winner in the cycling. May the best

man win. Give a massive welcome, representing Team Flintoff, Mike

Goody, and the Team Redgrave, Paul Vice.

Great to see you. Get in your positions. Everybody has a big night

ahead. My goodness. The teams are complete, this is how it will go,

four events with points up for grabs. All the points are crucial

for the fifth and final event, the team triathlon, where points will be

converted into seconds. The team with the most points at the end will

have a head start going into the final event of the evening. The

winner of that will be crowned Clash of the Titus 's champions ready 16.

As everybody got that? Good. The first event is the cycling in

elimination race will stop don't go anywhere, we will test the pedal

power of our two captains. Don't miss it.

Make sure you don't miss the first exciting event -

it's the Cycling Elimination Race - and it's coming very soon.

Tonight, we're joining together to change lives both here in the UK

and in some of the world's poorest countries.

In our first film, Marvin and Rochelle Humes go to Kenya

She's a daughter, she's a big sister -

Like most children her age, every evening, she does her homework.

But life for Fenny is very different from that of other

Since her dad died two years ago and her mum

became sick, every morning Fenny does all of the housework and gets

Despite everything, this brave young girl is determined to give herself

This is a fantastic hoodie that you are wearing.

He is pleased that someone is still wearing it!

Fenny's mum and little sister are HIV-positive.

The medication they have to take is aggressive,

Providing food for the whole family is up to Fenny.

Fenny does what she can to care for them.

How tough is it being the one that has to look after your

It is difficult, sometimes I can't go to school.

How much money would you make, Fenny?

Fenny, how is your mum's health at the moment?

Without your help, nothing is going to change.

Fenny's family will continue to rely on her, and life

But there is a project here which can help

So please do something for someone who

you will never meet but who desperately needs your help.

If Fenny's family had enough food to let them

take their medication, then Fenny wouldn't have to go

to work and could get to school every day.

And that's how she can change their future.

Just ?30 buys nutritional food for a month for a person

You can donate online by visiting bbc.co.uk/sportrelief.

Or you can give over the phone by calling 03457 910 910.

Now, if you've just tuned in - no, this is not my father,

or my grand father, this is Gary Lineker.

Who tells me that, in the olden days, he used to be a footballer.

And this is David Walliams, who claims he used to be a comedian.

As ever, schools across the country have been fundraising

for Sport Relief, and this year more of you than EVER have got involved.

Your efforts are truly out of this world.

And one shining example is St Andrew's C of E Primary in

So to say thank you, Radio 1's Gemma Cairney and England

striker Harry Kane dropped in to surprise some

If there's one thing you can rely on in life, it's that every single year

during Sport Relief, some of the most hard-working and dedicated

fundraisers are the thousands of schoolchildren across the country.

We are here today at Saint Andrews school with a very special guest,

England and Tottenham striker, Harry Kane. Are you ready to do this?

Let's do it. Warm welcome to Harry Kane. CHEERING

Hello everyone, I want to say a big well done and for all the money you

have raised the Sport Relief. What team do you prefer, Totten or

Arsenal? Tough question, both of them are just as good. In schools

all across the UK all the hard-working young people have

raised an incredible amount for Sport Relief, going above and

beyond, and we give you a huge thank you. To all the amazing schools,

pupils, teachers, grandparents, parents, everyone who has spent time

raising money for Sport Relief. Just one thing left to say. Thank you!

Thank you to Gemma and Harry and a big thank you to the thousands

of kids and teachers across the UK for your tremendous fund raising

Now we've got so much more still to come tonight,

including the return of the legend that is Frank Spencer

On nights like this, we always say, you can change lives. Here's the

truth. I'm about to experience

something truly magical. This little boy here has

literally just been born. Thanks to your support,

he's about to have some Thanks to the work from an amazing

project here and these drops he's being given, he now has the chance

of a life totally HIV free. This is truly life-changing work

and your donations are a huge So, thank you from the

bottom of our hearts. Your donations make sure those

new born babies get those drops Texts will cost ?10 plus your

standard network message charge. Now, it's time for the first Clash

of the Titans event of the evening, And Gary, just as a quick heads

up, they're not racing on Penny Farthings like

when you were a boy. I know, thank you David,

they're on racing bikes. In fact, there's a good cycling

shop near you. Is there?

Yeah. It's right next

to the doughnut shop. You're kind of showing off now Gary

and it's not very attractive. And to start with, it's

the Cycling Elimination race. Over to Dan Walker and our teams

at the VeloPark. Hello and welcome back to the

VeloPark. This lot are ready for the first event in the clash of the

titans 2016. Just to remind you, this is the elimination race. The

person at the back is just as important as the person at the

front. Three members from each team will be taking part, including the

two team captains. Let's find out who has been selected and what they

are in for. The cycling elimination, hello, old friend. 2014, this race

was tactical and aggressive. Maybe a bit too aggressive. How on earth has

he stayed on his bike? He hasn't now. The sprint laps are the key,

when you hear the bell it's time to go. Whoever finishes last, gets

eliminated. When there are three riders left, it's a race to the

finishing line. Freddie won this race last time, and that must give

Team Flintoff the edge. I'm pretty competitive so will be as physical

and competitive as Freddie wants me to be. Team Flintoff, we've got

this. Have you now? You are going to have to get past my team first. You

just have to go as fast as you possibly can. We will ride stronger,

harder, and faster. To win, ready, steady... Catch Freddie.

Let's get a word with the captains. Freddie Flintoff is here, everybody.

You won this event two years ago. What is the secret? I don't think

there is a secret except for peddling faster. I think the

standard is higher this year. These guys look all right. You are up

against a man with five Olympic golds in five consecutive Olympic

Games, Sir Steve Redgrave. We know you have got the lungs but have you

got the legs? I have certainly got the heart but I'm not sure I put the

endurance. I'm looking forward to it. I think it will be a great

crack. I hope we don't do what Freddie did last year and fall off.

I will let you get ready. Our special Stuttgart -- that the

introduce you to our special starter for tonight, who has walked 145

miles for Sport Relief, Jo Brand! Jo, talk us through your job. It is

a big one. I've got to fire the starting pistol without injuring

myself or anybody else. How much practice have you read? 14 seconds.

So this could be messy. Step back! What could possibly go wrong? Jo

will start the race. Here are our commentating team. We have a perfect

commentating position, up in the rafters looking straight down on the

finishing line. Rob and I were here for the World Championships a couple

of years ago but that feels like it was merely an hors d'oeuvre. Let's

take a look at the line-up for the elimination race. Six riders in the

field. As you can see, both captains are in this one, looking to lay down

an early marker. Before the race gets underway, we will have a warm

up lap just to give the race a rolling start. They must stay

bunched until they pass the start line. Every other lap, the bell

goes, the riders will sprint and the last rider over the line is

eliminated until three riders remain, with Hugh Dennis at the

moment. When we get down to the last three, which may or may not involve

Hugh, when the bell rings, the remaining riders will sprint to the

finish. There is the man who won the finish last time, Freddie Flintoff.

It was a commentary highlight for me. I saw him go down and he picked

himself up and knocked him for six. He took the victory. Who is going to

take it today? Jo Brand is ready with the starter's gun, and the

first event in Clash of the Titans 2016 is underway. Three points

available for the winner, two points for second place, for third. The

remaining three riders will not score at all. Hugh Dennis is trying

to make sure he stays out of trouble early on. This is a man with some

cycling experience. He has written on a Tour in France on two occasions

in the past and he is looking to make sure you can stay in the race a

bit longer. You can see how hard he is trying. He is taking it out from

the front. This is to make sure he doesn't get himself in trouble, but

it looks like Steve Redgrave is in the hot seat at the moment. Already

close, as they go over the line. We have a four love. Hugh Dennis is

down. -- we have a fall. Hugh Dennis hit the deck at the end of the first

sprint. I can't quite believe it. Just a touch of wheels. It was his

own team-mate who just squeezed him out. Momentarily, they will

neutralise the race. Confirmation that Harry Judd won't be McFlying it

around the track any more. He was the first rider to go. Hugh Dennis

will not be re-starting as a result of the crash a few moments ago. We

are down to four. Here we go. Mark Wright, Freddie Flintoff, Dan Snow

and Sir Steve Redgrave. Two riders left from each team. And now we are

underway. What about the tactics here? Freddie

Flintoff going right to the start and trying to dominate. In a race

like this, do you take the front and try to take control or do you risk

it from the back? You get the risk of getting out of line. At the

moment, it is Sir Steve Redgrave who is caught at the back on the inside.

Steve Redgrave found himself boxed in last time and it looks as though

he is almost riding into one of his opponents again. Flintoff leads them

over the line, and Mark Wright is the man to go. He has been feeling

unwell today and we were not sure if he would come back out for the

restart, but he gave it a go. For Mark Wright, the only way is back to

Essex. That is a shocker, but true. The bell goes, and it is the sprint

to the line. It looks like Flintoff has got it all the way. Absolutely

plumping down the back straight. Looked at him go. He was

head-to-head two years ago but I think he is going to win. Freddie

Flintoff is a two times winner in Clash of the Titans elimination

race. He won it at a canter. Undefeated. The undefeated Freddie

Flintoff. Here it is again, rob. He left the others trailing. Dan Snow

just trying to get in the wheel of Freddie but unfortunately for Steve

Redgrave, he was trying to go round the long wait and that was the hard

way, but unfortunately for the blues it was Freddie Flintoff all the way.

Freddie Flintoff takes the win with room to spare. Dan Snow second and

Sir Steve Redgrave third. Let's grab a word with our top

three. What was it like? I enjoyed it. It is hard, especially when you

are unfit. The young man got us. A big kick, powerful legs. There are

two blues in the top three, Dan Snow. Freddie said you were the

danger men, and you came through. He was talking me up. That was a hell

of a kick, he pounced. Freddie Flintoff is undefeated on the track.

You have done it again. I thought it was going to get harder. On the last

lap, I am just going to go for it and see what happens. I thought

Steve would be breathing down my neck but he should stick to his

rowing, shouldn't he? Good news is that Steve Dennis -- Hugh Dennis is

OK. Freddie Flintoff I think, had been

training for that one, and it was a decisive victory for the cricketing

legend. Three points 14 Flintoff, but Dan Snow and Sir Steve Redgrave

both on the board for their team. One events down. Next up,

synchronised swimming with Russell Kane taking on Will Young. It is not

a dream. Porsche Hugh Dennis, but well done, Freddie.

OK, it's time to take a look at the leaderboard for the very

After the first event, Team Flintoff as three points and Tim Redgrave

also have three points. It is all to play for.

Of course, it's not going to surprise you that on Sport Relief

we are pretty keen on sport and really hope that you will be

When the Sport Relief weekend is over, if you need more

inspiration on how to get involved in loads of different sports then

And you're certainly going to be inspired

To tell you all about a wonderful woman called Margaret,

I'd like you to meet a wonderful lady called Margaret. She is going

to tell you a love story. When I met Mike I knew that was

definitely something special. We used to spend a lot

of time walking. Yeah, if we were sitting anywhere,

his arm would go round my shoulder. I was in love with him

and expected him to be I spent quite a bit of time

on my own with the children. He used to work up in town

and he'd come home. I'd have his dinner ready and then

he'd go down to a local pub Very hard for Mike and I to have any

time together, really. We had big plans when

we were both retired. It was our time and we still had

a lot of living to do. I got the phone call to say,

"You must come to the hospital." By the time I got there,

it was too late. Where do you go when your soulmate,

partner, lover is gone? I wanted to finish it

all and join Mike. I used to go shopping and walk

over a bridge and look, but then I'd think of the car

driver that would hit me I knew that I needed

to talk to somebody. Just when she needed it

most, Margaret found the Bereavement Centre,

a project supported by Sport Relief. It's a place she can go when it

feels like there's nowhere else. I still get the pain of losing Mike,

but it's brought together people that have gone through

exactly the same. The Bereavement Centre

have saved my life. It is easy to think that, just

because somebody is older, they can cope with the loss of a loved one

more easily, but that just isn't true. Why should age make any

difference? In this country around a million older people are chronically

lonely. One in four feel they have nobody to go to for help or support.

Tonight, you can help change things. Tonight, you can make a difference.

Please call us. Thank you. Loneliness and loss are desperate

things to have to cope with. ?25 pays for a counselling session

for a bereaved person to help them If you can, please do help us

to continue supporting You can see what a difference

that project has made. You can donate online

at bbc.co.uk/sportrelief or you can Texts will cost ?10 plus your

standard network message charge and 100% of your donation

will go to Sport Relief. You must be 16 or over and please

ask the bill payer's permission. For full terms and conditons

and more information If you could donate,

we would be very grateful. Now, if you're a fan

of The One Show - and I know I am, I have the Blu-ray box set at home -

you'll have followed the inspiring journey of the courageous crew

who survived Hell On High Seas. # You light the skies above

# You and me, we can write on a star # If you stay with me, girl we can

rule the world # Yeah, you and me we can ride on a

star... Everybody has pulled together. I think everyone will go

home with a huge sense of accomplishment.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome two of our heroic

Hell on High Seas challengers - Alex Jones and Angellica Bell.

Took is through the dramatic scenes on daily two. We were in a bit of a

quandary as to whether to keep sailing, because we had to avoid a

force ten storm. It was Armageddon! We made the decision to go into

Plymouth, but on the way in, we were on watch in the middle of the night,

drenched, choppy seas, in the middle of the night and wanting to go home.

Why did you make me do this? Sorry about that. It was like the world

was going to end at that point. What was it like to be on board? On board

was kind of OK apart from the really grim bits, the middle of the night

when the waves are dashing over. Down below deck, where you didn't

see very much, you were being woken up every few hours to go on deck.

You'd have to get dressed like this... And then you try to pull

your trousers on. The boat is at an angle. It's not just putting your

clothes on, we had so many layers. Thermals, a rubber seal over your

neck. Is it true the boys were more sick than the girls? That is true.

Alex and I were the only two who didn't get seasick. CHEERING

It must have felt amazing when you finally got home and got off the

thing will stop when we got what when we got into the Thames, it was

karma, but it didn't seem real we would be back on terra firma. There

were such difficult conditions on the boat for so long. It was

emotional to see our friends and family. We shed some tears. It was

amazing and emotional, but what's more amazing, that was five days for

us. All of you out there, watching at home, what's amazing is that they

got behind it once again and go native. That's the thing. -- and

donated. We can reveal that the total raised, including ?150,000

from BT who supported the challenge, is a whopping 1,000,060.

Are you going to keep that money or give it to Sport Relief? We will

give it to Sport Relief! Good for you. That makes it worth it.

Now, for you, Alex, your Sport Relief doesn't end

This Sunday, myself, Matt Baker and John Inverdale

will be taking the Sport Relief baton all the way to

Join us on Sunday as people all over the nation do themselves proud for

Sport Relief. We live from the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park as a whole

host of people join us for the culmination of the Sport Relief we

can. We will test those famous faces with challenges. And we will bring

you the action from across the country as thousands of you walk,

run, swim or cycle yourselves proud to raise cash and change people's

lives. That's live on Sunday. Ooo Betty! Fancy dress optional.

And it's not too late if you want to take part in any

Thousands of you have already signed up.

If you haven't, it's going to be a brilliant day,

so whoever you are, wherever you are, what are you waiting for?

For details of how to take part, head to the website

Now, you'll already know that Ebola is one of the most

Sierra Leone was one of the worst affected countries.

Thankfully the country was declared Ebola free at the end of last year.

But it left a trail of despair in its wake, as EastEnders actor

This is a slum in Freetown, it's a bustling community

But when the Ebola epidemic hit, this once vibrant

With people living so close to one another, in already overcrowded

homes, the deadly virus spread quickly.

People were suspicious and afraid of treatment centres.

And it didn't take long for rumours to start.

As ever, in all of this, the ones who suffer most are children.

I see why something like Ebola would hit a place like this.

12-year-old Mohammed and his little brother Mousa

As the only two surviving members of their entire family,

they saw relative after relative being taken off to a treatment

Why did you not want to go to the treatment centre?

With so many family members having died from the virus,

others in the community were suspicious that the boys may

Having contracted and yet survived Ebola, the boys are back at home

and are now supported by their mum's best friend.

She does what she can, but there's no money.

After everything they've been through, now they've even

Mohammed and Mousa still live in the same building

They just want to go to school and learn and better themselves

There's no option there. No school.

They're talking about being lawyers and stuff, you know.

They've got brains to use and they want to nourish that brain

and they want to do something with themselves and they can't.

Every child on this planet deserves or should go to school.

It's about giving them an opportunity to just live,

to just live, live a life and have enjoyable, magical moments,

I think we should try to let those boys, and others like them,

But for that, they need a good education.

?70 pays for a whole year at secondary school.

The children of Sierra Leone desperately need our support.

You've been so brilliant in the past.

Could you, would you, help us once more?

Please donate by going online at bbc.co.uk/sportrelief or call

Or you can text the word YES to 70010 to donate ?10.

Texts will cost ?10 plus your standard network

Right, it's time for the first Sport Relief sketch of the night.

And surprise surprise - you're dressed as a woman.

With some very special guests, it's the return of Little Britain.

TOM BAKER: Football is one of Britain's most popular pastimes.

In his office, sports agent Mickey Perm is trying

to strike a deal for one of his footballers.

I don't play football myself, because sadly, I don't have a foot.

I've got one for you. Kevin Keegan.

Ah, Crouchy, my favourite new client.

I'd get you back in the England team, didn't I?

Well, your numero uno agent has only gone and done it.

Really? Yep.

I can't wait to be back with the boys.

Hold on. It's not exactly with the boys.

It's with the ladies. The ladies?

I've got you a place with the Lionesses.

I've got someone who can help you with that.

My name is Emily Howard, and I am a lady.

She is going to teach you how to behave like a lady.

I must say, I was rather surprised when I heard

In my mind, ladies should play ladies' games, like cribbage

Crouchy, do you want to play for England again or not?

TOM JONES: # Well, she's all you'd ever want

# She's the kind I'd like to flaunt And take to dinner

# Well, she always knows her place She's got style, she's got grace

# Whoa-oh-oh She's a lady

# But she's never in the way Always something nice to say

# I can leave her on her own Knowing she's OK alone

# Whoa-oh-oh She's a lady

# She knows what I'm about She can take what I dish out

# But she knows me through and through

# And she knows just what to do and how to please me... #

Are you sure that they'll believe that I'm a lady?

What do you think you're playing at?

I think you might have rather given the game away.

You can give me the outfit back later.

Massive thank yous to the hilarious Micky Flanagan, David Seaman,

The Lionesses, their manager Mark Sampson.

And of course, a huge thank you

It's just, you said we were going to dress up for this bit.

I did say that, but then I thought - dressing as a woman to get laughs

But you've made a career out of it. Exactly.

You have actually never look to more lovely. So, moving on...

Ladies and gentlemen, The beautiful Gary-Ella Lineker.

Right, still to come tonight - Luther, as you've never

Nusic from the incredibly talented James Bay.

And we're only moments away from the second instalment of Clash

of the Titans, as Russell Kane and Will Young take to the pool

Right, time for a thank you, and this one goes to BT,

who have once again been brilliant supporters of Sport Relief.

They've been donating money from calls made

to the Speaking Clock on their Chat for Change Day.

I know a thing or two about dedication and hard work. And some

other people who know a thing or two about that are the good people at

BT. Since the start they have been involved in Sport Relief. The people

who man the phones at Sport Relief are all volunteers, giving up their

free time to take your donations. No matter how big or how small, those

donations make a difference. They helped us raise money for those who

needed each year. That is an amazing achievement. The staff are also

massively behind it and have a mission for their staff to travel to

the moon and back by recording their steps. We could not do it without

you. So there is really only one thing to say. Thank you!

APPLAUSE I couldn't have said it

better myself, thank you! And we can reveal that

their brilliant efforts have raised Now, those of you who follow

EastEnders will remember the deeply moving storyline about Stacey

and her struggle with extreme Here's Lacey Turner -

the actress who plays Stacey - to explain that for many women,

this condition is all too real. Giving birth to a child should be

a truly wonderful time in a woman's life and one of life's

most joyful experiences. But, sadly, as I have learnt

in my role as Stacey, The truth is that every year,

here in the UK, around 70,000 women won't find that becoming a mother

is the fairy-tale they dreamed of. I can't keep Arthur safe

every minute on my own. 70,000 women won't find

the sleepless nights and constant care a baby needs

plain old exhausting. They'll find it much

worse than that. They will become ill

with postnatal depression. In more extreme cases like Stacey's,

more than 1,400 women will suffer from the more severe

version of the illness, This is truly frightening,

for them and for their families. Arthur is not yours.

He is God's. Stacey, why would they

want to take Arthur? He's outside.

He's waiting. Sadly, like with so many mental

illnesses, women are scared They think they should

feel a certain way. They're new mothers, after all -

why does it seem that everyone else It's thought that the real number

of sufferers is higher, but that women are too scared

to come forward and talk about it. They're scared of what people

will say and they're scared I believe it's

absolutely real for you. And I think it must be tiring

and extremely stressful. If you think you're suffering

from postnatal depression, the best thing you can do is tell

someone you're feeling overwhelmed. Talk to a doctor or health

visitor or a friend. After Arthur was born,

I heard his voice. He only talked to you

after Arthur was born? Sport Relief is supporting

the maternal mental health alliance to raise awareness of the importance

of this issue, as well as projects which aim to support mums,

dads and their families to recover from maternal mental

health and move forwards. I think we're going to

need a clean outfit. We want you to know you're not

alone, you have nothing You can be treated and

things can get better. Help us to continue to support women

and families, who are suffering unnecessarily at what should be one

of the happiest times To donate please call

or go to the website. The stigma around illnesses

like post-natal depression hasn't gone away yet, but things

are slowly getting better. ?30 could enable an isolated mum

who is experiencing post-natal depression to attend a session

to help start the road to recovery. Please help us to support those mums

at the time they really need it, by donating online at

bbc.co.uk/sportrelief or you can Texts will cost ?10 plus your

standard network message charge and 100% of your donation

will go to Sport Relief. You must be 16 or over and please

ask the bill payer's permission. For full terms and

conditions and more information go to

bbc.co.uk/sportrelief. It's time for the

synchronised Swimming. We'd be good at synchronised

swimming, Gary. It's OK, I'll sort something out.

Anyway, it's time for... You're not going to say

Clash Of The Titans No, it's time for

Splash of the Titans! Welcome to the London Aquatics

Centre. And boy, have we got a treat for you tonightif you were watching

earlier, you will have seen that clash of the Titans is tight. Team

Redgrave and Team Flintoff tied at three apiece after the first event

of the evening, the Elimination Cycling. But of course it can all

change, because next up, we have got synchronised swimming! Let's speak

to a lady who knows all we need to know about it. Where are you? I am

right above you. Welcome to what is going to be a fantastic evening. We

have got two very different routines from two very different performers.

On Team Flintoff, it is comedian Russell Kane. And for Team Redgrave,

we have our very own top idol Willie Young! And they will be performing

alongside five incredibly talented girls from acrobatics. Each

performance will be scored by three professional synchro judges, with

each judge awarding a score out of ten. The routine with the highest

score will get maximum points for their team. Back to you, Ore. We

will be finding out just what Will and Russell will be unleashing on

the world. I still do not know how to put this on. Your watery stage

awaits you. Yes, I am the mer-man of the synchronised swimming world.

Russell Kane, let me talk to you bit. This place is steeped in

history, from 2012. Are you to undo all that legacy? No, I am really

composed, apart from my locker key, as I get a bit tense if I am away

from my possessions. I would not be surprised if I grew fins or wedding

during the performance. My goodness me! We are all set. Ladies and

gentlemen, what you are about to see, you will not be able to unsee.

It is definitely getting a bit clammy in here! Ladies and

gentlemen, are we ready for our first performance of the evening? We

have got loyalty with us. For Team Redgrave, Will Young!

I am here for Sport Relief to do synchronised swimming. I feel it is

my destiny. Hello! Hi, what do you think? Almost looking the part. You

look like you are going scuba-diving, more than synchronised

swimming. I can dance, sort of. I can swim. Can I do them both? I will

find out. The worst thing that can happen on the night is that I could

drown. I would be upset. Go slowly to start with. Really hard! They

make it look very easy. It is not easy. It is quite exhausting on the

body, even though it is a short routine. Why didn't I do something

like cycling, that would be easier?! I feel like I am in a Vegas show.

The thing is, nobody remembers second place. We are here to win.

MUSIC: "Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairies"

COMMENTATOR: A brand-new challenge for Will Young tonight, drawing on

all his performance skills to create a scene from Norway. Lovely cadence,

great synchronisation. It is all about keeping in time with the

music, synchronising with your team-mates. And look at that leg

kick under the water, which is what is keeping them afloat. Straight

legs. This is the hardest part for Will chuggers keeping vertical and

upright. He is trying to fight off the acrobatics girls. Time for the

big lift... Fantastic presentation from Will Young! Dynamic performance

from the Pop Idol winner. A man who knows all about stage and screen as

well. Let's have a look at some of the highlights. Beautiful dive. He

loves swimming, loved diving as a boy, he was telling me earlier on.

Look how well he is synchronised with the girls from Aquabatics. Real

sense of drama about this routine. Good height on the lift. I think the

judges will have enjoyed that. Something quite sensational. Will

Young, you have done this since birth, right?! Yes!

These girls are amazing. I can't actually talk. You don't need to.

Because the judges' scores are in. It's a clean sweep of 8s. 24 Will

Young. I'm happy with that. I couldn't actually add that up. I'm

pleased you added it up as well! The doubt in your face made me doubt

myself. You don't need to do maths, you're a beautiful synchronised

swimmer. Off you go! APPLAUSE

Well earned rest. We're not done just yet. It's time for act two,

who's ready for Russell Kane? For team Flintoff, it's Russell Kane.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I'm normally a stand-up comedian and presenter. Today I'm learning

synchronised swimming. Teach me a move, I can do it double jointed.

Yes, you may find it quite difficult. Oh, yeah. How am I going

to remember the moves? You just have to do it over and over again. It's

actually a very athletic sport. I'm just going to go for it.

I could well easily just be floating in the water like an idiot,

surrounded by great girls. It could be worse, really couldn't it?

Actually I might just do that. I think in words because it's my job,

so to remember physical moves doesn't come natural Troy me. If I

can't -- natural to me. If I can't be elegant in the water, I think

strike. Quick movement, bold, masculine shapes. That's my strategy

on the night. COMMENTATOR: Russell, if you

remember him performing to Beyonce in 2012, here he is tapping into his

inner diva yet again. He's no stranger to twerking. Quite hard to

do under water, though. So lots and lots of cheeky, diva moves that you

will see during this routine. Good movement of the legs under water.

Just keeping themselves afloat by using arms and legs. Strong moves

from Russell. Lots of diva attitude. We want to

see lots of flirting with the crowd. We're going to go for the lift here.

The girls can't touch the bottom of the pool.

Again, trying to get those legs synchronised. Not quite as pointed

as they could have been. The trade mark Russell Kane thumb move to

finish. Applause from his opponent. APPLAUSE He wouldn't tell me which

pussy cat doll he wanted to be. I felt there was a bit of Nicole in

there. Here we go. At the start of the routine, getting into position

quickly. He's got to be synchronised with the girls, as we said, and with

the music. That was the lift. Yeah, we saw some good hand moves. There

-- moves there. We will see what the judges made of that. Will he have

done enough to beat team Redgrave? Here he comes, ladies and gentleman.

Don't you do that again before telling me how you a synchronised

swimmer you are. 24 is the score to beat. Here we go.

That means you need just seven to win this battle.

It's a 10! How about that. 28 Russell, how are you feeling? I'm

feeling amazing. Thank you very much. The irony of synchronised

swimming is it takes a lot of balls to do this. I've got respect for

these girls. They are amazing. What a team, what a guy, what a

performance - what an outfit! What does that do for the scores. Great

performance by Russell and Will. Team Flintoff get the two points.

Thank you very much to Russell and his team. Thank you very much to

Will Young and his team! To the Aquabatics and the judges. So much

still to come from Clash Of The Titans. Join us later to see how our

teams get rhythmic. See you soon. # Somewhere beyond the sea

# Somewhere... Let's have a look at how that event

has changed the leaderboard... This is what you'll

be remembered for. So, after the second

event of the night... Team Flintoff is in the lead. It's

going to be a close one. How did you talk me into this? I can talk you

into a lot of things! APPLAUSE There is something I'm

particularly excited about tonight, returning to our screens for the

first time in nearly 40 years is one of the greatest comedy characters of

all time - not him! - Frank is back. And that's coming up

a little later tonight. And bringing you brilliant

entertainment like that is all part Here is a man who knows only too

well how important ... Sorry, that's Danny's bit. I

carried on. You didn't go to Sierra Leone. You were at home while he

went! I would have done if you'd have invited me. All right, you dug

yourself a hole, just shut up. Sport Relief asked me to go

to Sierra Leone, I'll admit I was scared of what I'd see.

But I'll tell you something - it's an amazing country.

And I have never seen anything like it in my life.

At this very moment I'm embarrassed to be a human being.

How it gets to this stage where children are running

There's a kid over there, he's got flip-flops on.

There's glass, there's fires and he's just got flip-flops on.

And he works on this rubbish dump every single day.

In fact, he's never known a life outside of it.

Because Usman and his family actually live on the dump.

The money, I buy food for them so we can survive.

The money, the father buys food for them to survive.

TRANSLATION: I want to leave this dump site.

Hassan, do you think it will ever happen for you?

TRANSLATION: He's not really thinking if that will ever happen

for him in his lifetime. The powers that be, whoever

they are, forget about all that, we can actually come together

as human beings and help Just from sitting where you are now,

the difference you can make I know they seem

a million miles away. You can make such a difference

from such a little thing. So please, get these people out

of this, this just ain't right. We've got to come together

and make this happen. If you've never done it before,

make this the first time you've It seems just too massive a problem

to do anything doesn't it? But I'm here to promise

you, it's not. We're working with a project

who take little kids like Osman ?70 pays for a whole

year of education. I'm not asking you to

pay the whole 70 quid. I'm at the Olympic Park on Sunday,

come and run a mile with me, do whatever you've got to do. Just,

it's horrendous. Please give what you can. Thank you.

APPLAUSE I bet that most of you watching now

will have your phone sitting right there next to you,

so please pick it up, type the word YES and send

it to 70010 and help It's that simple, and it

will be the most important Texts will cost ?10 plus your

standard network message charge. OK, we've got off to a brilliant

start and, although the night is still very young, I think it's

time we announced our first total, I certainly do, man off Match of the

Day. Tonight you have raised

a phenomenal... Wow, wow, wow! Thank you so much

everybody. That is an amazing amount of money. We cannot thank you

enough. I know, I know, we'd love to present

for longer, but sadly Gary's curfew at the old folks home

is fast approaching. I don't actually have to be back

until nine o'clock. Ladies and gentlemen,

the brilliant, the talented, CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE Ladies and gentlemen,

the childish, the irritating, pain in the bum that

is Mr David Walliams! CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE Coming up, we have

Strictly's Tess Daly Bez from the Happy Mondays,

and telly favourite Lorraine Kelly Let's take a look at what else

is in store for you tonight. Still to come... Franke Spencer is

back in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. Jack Whitehall meets Gareth Bale.

And there is a royal visit in the clash of the titans. All, much more

coming up here tonight on Sport Relief. Ladies and gentlemen, please

welcome your amazing hosts, Davina McCall, Claudia Winkleman and John

Bishop! Thank you! Good evening, and what a

fantastic night of Sport Relief we have had so four. Look at you with

those on! I love it! And a massive thank you to Gary and David, like an

old married couple, weren't they? Now, John, this is a very modern

marriage you have got here, a Claudia and Davina sandwich. You are

feeling quite lucky right now? I am, and every middle-aged man across the

country, you can donate to stand where I am. So, we have got some

unbelievable treats coming up in the next hour.

More from the Titans as they take on Rhythmic Gymnastics,

and of course, the return of the one and only Michael Crawford

It's true that everyone here has got a touch of what we like to call

Take a look over there, even Crookie on camera one has

Time now for one of my all time Sport Relief heroes.

I mean, the endurance they have shown. That is obviously me. The wit

they have. I think that is still me. It is not about me, it is about the

kids. And they look very beautiful - in clothes.

It's the incredible, funny, and beautiful,

He has completed 24 marathons out of 27 in South Africa.

Welcome to South Africa. Why 27 marathons. Nelson Mandela was in

prison for 27 years so I thought I would run 27 marathons in 27 days.

Thank you. I am dehydrating. And that is where

the problem lies. Spraying me, spraying me like crazy! I am a

determined to it and I just want to keep going. Cheers, everyone! Just

keep it in here and drive forward, and I can get this done.

And Eddie's in Cape Town right now after doing his 24th marathon.

Hi, how are you? Eddie, it is Davina, it is so lovely to see you.

Where are you? I am in Cape Town, South Africa, at the moment. It is

two hours later than where you are. We have got table mounted behind us,

wonderful city. And Robben Island, where Nelson Mandela spent 18 years,

I am trying to run the 27 marathons in 27 days as a salute to Nelson

Mandela. This is where we are at the moment. Eddie, it is John. I am just

saying that in case you did not recognise the voice. Eddie, how are

you getting on with the heat? The heat took me a part, actually. I am

just resting my feet. Tim, my physio, has saved my life. He is

basically bandaging that back together. I have got in the event

going in this foot. The nails are going well, though. Loving the

nails! Yes, they are not working very well but... I was just saying,

the heat is amazing, it is up to 35 degrees. It is very difficult to run

in this heat. We are absolutely in awe off you. What are you thinking

about when you run, is it particular projects? I am thinking about

stopping, actually! So, every time I stop... Because I have no days off,

this is the thing. I have already spent one day in hospital so that I

actually have to do a double marathon on the Sunday. This is what

is really tricky. I have done my 24th marathon, but it is on day 25.

I am kind of thinking about that. That is going to be tricky. Eddie,

it is so lovely to see you smiling. We wish you the very, very Asta. And

keep going! Thank you! So, Eddie, we are now going to tell you how much

you have raised. We can now reveal that the total so far is...

Well done, Eddie! Thank you very much. You are finishing on Sunday,

right? Yes, two marathons on Sunday. That has got to be worth a million,

hasn't it?! Please keep supporting him.

Please keep supporting him and keep donating

And you can follow Eddie's incredible challenge every step

So if Eddie's superhuman feats have inspired you,

then you can't miss the Sport Relief Games Show

at 1.15pm on Sunday on BBC One, where you can see Eddie

Having said that, he is doing two that day, he might be a bit late.

And you can still sign up to take part in the Sport Relief games right

here in Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park on Sunday.

Bake Off - here are some of the best bits.

Welcome to the great Sport Relief Bake Off. No wonder it is Sport

Relief, I am knackered! Eight bananas. Eight bananas? Out of all

four of us, who do you reckon has got the best kitchen? Downing

Street... ? One of the best kitchens this year.

Thank you to everyone that took part.

It is time now to find out how much the Great

Sport Relief Bake Off has "self-raised".

OK, we can now reveal that The Great Sport Relief Bake Off

Thank you so much to all the Bake Off contestants

and everyone who donated over the series.

A few years ago, I went to Sierra Leone

I saw some pretty terrible things there,

and that was before Ebola struck that country.

It has left a trail of devestation in its wake, as you'll see

Hidden away in a remote part of Sierra Leone,

is a village that has been decimated by the Ebola

It was the adult population who buried the dead, with many of them

then dying from Ebola themselves, themselves, leaving

a once-thriving village desolate. In the shadow of empty houses,

entire families have been wiped out. Traumatised and broken children,

find themselves in the care of grandparents

overwhelmed by grief. Or worse, some find

themselves orphaned with no-one to care

for them at all. No-one knew what was causing

the sickness and it spread All over the village,

children became carers. They saw things no child

should ever have to see. As if witnessing the deaths

of their mums and dads wasn't enough, when the horror

of the epidemic passed, the stigma that remained has left

them outcast from society. With these children at their most

vulnerable, many of them There is a single project

that is helping children here and it's funded

by money raised by you. they provide essential

bereavement counselling. And most importantly,

they can show children like Aminarta please call... ... Or go online.

Thank you. Well, it's just so hard

to know what to say. If the worst happened

and our children didn't have us, then hopefully there

would be people to step in. Well, there would be,

but because of Ebola, well, you've seen, there's

no one apart from some grandparents,

who are grieving themselves, Please help us to

continue doing that. Here now with her beautiful

song Wings is Birdy, and she has kindly asked that

if you could, you phone and donate CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE Thank you so much, Birdy,

and thank you if you donated Time now for a big thank

you to everyone involved in the epic Battle of the Five-A-Sides

and in particular, Alan Shearer, Robbie Savage and

the Premier League. If Jurgen Klopp is watching, just

take a look at this goal I scored! The partnership between the Premier

League and Sport Relief has been amazing since it began in 2002. It

continues to go from strength to strength.

COMMENTATOR: What a goal! Oh! What a screamer! The Premier League has

organised an epic five-a-side match, the biggest ever. Myself and the one

and only Allan Shearer are captains. You might see some of this later

from the legend that is Alan Shearer. 57 hours nonstop, some of

football's biggest names, celebrities and members of the

public are taking their part in Sport Relief. It's a great effort

from the Premier League, combining with the legends out there today.

They've put their bodies on the line for Sport Relief. I'm feeling

dreadful, I've got to admit. By the time the battle of the five-a-sides

was over 228 teams and over 1100 players had taken part. Helped out

by three heroes who played 12 hours of football nonstop, Danny, Josh and

Rachel, we absolute them. The match was played through rain, sleet,

snow, high winds and a moment of sunshine.

COMMENTATOR: That's lovely. Team Shearer won and the Premier League

turned every ?1 raised into a crisp fiver, the tollal over ?500,000. The

money raised will fund crucial projects at home and across the

world. One great project that the money goes to is the Premier

League's Enterprise Progaem. -- programme. It helps young people

learn about business and how to get a start in life, using Premier

League clubs as the back drop. Clubs up and down the country have got

behind this brilliant programme. The money raised has gone to help work

with kids around the world, including project like Magic Bus in

India. This project uses football as the catalyst for teaching young

people life skills and building their confidence to help them find

jobs. But it's not just India, there's great work being done in

Zambia. This programme educates young women about being safe. In

Brazil, they tackle social problems by providing school children with

access to sport and education. These are just some examples of the

fantastic work being done by the Premier League and Sport Relief

around the world. So, we just want to say a massive thank you to the

Premier League, the clubs, the players, and crucially, the fans for

their incredible support. It makes such a dirns. Thanks.

APPLAUSE I think some of them

are still thawing out from that. OK, it's time to reveal

the Premier League total. Thank you so, so much. That's

wonderful. APPLAUSE Very well done. Back to you

John. Earlier in the show we saw Danny

talk about his experience when he went to Sierra Leone and he saw kids

living on a dump sight. It was easy to see how moved Danny was. It's an

overwhelming thing. Four years ago I went to Kenya. I saw exactly the

same thing. I was moved the same way. But things do change. This film

shows you what a difference can you make.

Last time I came to Enya, I went to this dump -- came to Kenya, I went

to this dump site in Nairobi. Ten-year-old Margaret had never

lived anywhere else. Along with her grandmother, she spent every day

searching through the rubbish to scrape together an existence. What's

the best thing you've ever found. Rice, as food. Rice? Rice. That's

the best thing you've ever found? Yeah. The best thing. Back then, it

seemed there was no way out. Thanks to your generosity, their lives have

changed beyond compare. I went back to Kenya to see the change for

myself. Young Margaret is now going to school, where she's finally

getting a good education and making friends. What's the best thing about

going to school? It's great, that's brilliant. Your

grandmother has a new house. Shall we go and see your grandma? Hello.

Look at you! You look brilliant. Thank you very much. Now grandma

Margaret has even started her own business. What do you sell? Is that

for a phone? Yes, credit. 20 shillings. The difference between

where they were then and where they are now, it's incredible. This is a

very, very important photograph. It's all changed now.

No more. No more days like this. No more. Life better. Let's look to the

future. Yeah, thank you. I'm lappy. -- I'm happy. Thank you. I'm so glad

we're able to help. You changed this sadness into joy. You changed the

sorrow and loss into hope. That's what your donations do. You change

lives. Your donations mean that we can help more families like this.

Please give what you can. Thank you.

We can't take everyone to the dump sites. I know if you went and saw

and smelt and felt what me and Danny have done, you'd be as moved as we

were. You can't see it and just walk away. We can't take you there, but

we can show you it and we can show you the difference that you can make

right now. In a place like Kenya it costs ?150 to send young Margaret to

school for a year. That's changed her life ?150 - and I promise that

your money will make a massive difference. Thank you

Let's take a moment to thank our volunteers who are answering the

phones. Still to come, a clash of the tightan encounter and the

unmissable return of Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em. I know it's your

favourite. She's been holding me like this all day. Don't say

anything that rhymes with Crawford. We have music from James Bay! Yeah,

yeah. But before all of that, it is time for crime. Now, we all know

detective John luger is a twisted and tormented soul. And he's

extremely hot! But, yeah. They're like, oh, yeah. Have you ever

thought about his life off duty? I mean does he see his mum. Does he

even have a family? Does he have a resident's parking permit? It's my

first question. Let's find out as we meet the Luthers.

MUSIC: Paradise Circus by Massive Attack

Well, look, I'll... Hold on. No, hold on, I've got a call.

Yeah, I know, I know, Cousin Adam's running in a 100m, yeah.

No, no, no, I'll be there in like a minute!

I promise, yeah. Like in a minute, all right?

I've got to go somewhere. I'll be there in a minute.

What do you mean, how long's a minute?

I am a detective. I'm trained to see that sort of stuff.

Feet cut off, possibly to prevent identification.

Every time I come home you do this. What's going on, John, bruv?

Well, technically, you're right, it has been murdered.

Not only that, its feathers have been pulled,

trussed up with an elastic band. Looks like

some kind of fetish killing. Exactly what I was thinking.

Where did you find it, fam? It was at a supermarket, all right?

Mate, it was in the free-range section. I just took it home.

you never remove the body from the scene of the crime

What are you doing? Everybody knows that!

Yeah. He, er...looks like between a bantamweight and a featherweight.

You know, good muscle tone, good core stability -

must have been doing his plank work, and knocked out in the 10th round.

No, no, no, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Why are you telling Mummy? Don't tell Mummy nothing.

I've been backing you for the longest time, bruv.

You can't keep bringing murdered tings into the house!

Don't move it! He's moving it again! What's the matter with him?

On your head, mate. Do you want to start on this, yeah?

Look, you cut off the feet, it's got no feet.

How's it going to pass the ball round the midfield?

Would someone please COOK THE CHICKEN?!

What you going mad for, bruv? What's wrong with you?

Is this true? Did you bring the body of a homicide victim into my house?

Mummy, there's a misunderstanding here.

I was just thinking, put an onion up its bum and stick it in the oven!

Out, she's out of here, that's it. Done.

Sometimes it's hard to tell, you do that thing with your eyes.

What thing? Like you just smelled a fart.

Someone else killed it, I don't know who.

People kill chickens for other people, it's a business.

But that don't make it right, do it, John?

Your prints are all over it. Of course my prints are all over it!

Because I picked it up to see how big it was for all of us.

Mummy, what is the problem? It's just a chicken!

It might just be a chicken to you, bruv,

but it's someone's fam, someone's cuz, someone's bruv.

Look, I did not kill the chicken, it was dead when I bought it.

100m is on in a minute. Cousin Adam's running!

OK, OK, good. Oh, come on, Mum, he ain't never going to win.

Usain is in the line-up. Lewis, stop showing off

and put on some clothes! I ain't showing off!

Hey, who needs a tie when you've got abs like mine, mate?

driven by deep-seated feelings of jealousy

who just want to destroy both you and your reputation?

while still having time for the odd casual fling.

Alice, you're not being fair, all right?

WHISPERS: It's all right, it's all right.

Look, I've got to go. My cousin's running the 100m against Usain Bolt.

Look, John, bruv, we can work this out.

I mean, we got off on the wrong foot, that's all, cuz!

Yeah, I mean, murder, torture, evidence, guilt, justice -

As long as you still love your mother, eh?

COMMENTATOR: Only five British men have gone under ten seconds...

Well, the latest news on the Olympic 100m heats

is that Usain Bolt has mysteriously disappeared

You're no champion if you don't beat me.

All right. Let's get rid of the evidence.

MUSIC: Paradise Circus by Massive Attack

Great to get him, but then again, I suppose he only has to work

for 9.75 seconds every four years, so he's got time on his hands.

You look like a new Addington bear. I am not taking it off!

It's thank you time again - to the wonderful people at British

England cricket hero Michael Vaughan shared the love.

We have been bowled over by the amazing work BA staff and customers

have done for Sport Relief this year. They have been fundraising for

12 months. The least I could do was give them a tour of my second home.

These guys are part of the engineering team which has done a

cycle around Brighton, raising more than ?7,000. This is the Heathrow

customer service team, which raised over ?43,000. They have been stood

out here for an hour in the pouring rain. This lot crossed 13 bridges

along the River Thames, raising more than ?3000. That is not all. All you

amazing customers and staff have been slogging away, raising an

incredible amount of money for Sport Relief. All of the staff at BA, and

all of you lot off on your holidays, we could not have done it without

you. Let's have a look at how

much they've raised. It is a massive...! Well done,

British Airways! Thank you so much, that is the most amazing amount.

Still to come, more from Clash of the Titans, music from James Bay

and the exclusive that is Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em.

This year Sport Relief has launched a brilliant

Together, we will be working with them over the next five years

to help fight malaria and improve health.

Tonight, GSK will be donating a fantastic ?3 million.

With your support, we've already made a huge difference in the fight

against malaria, but there is so much more to do.

Malaria still kills a child every two minutes, but with your help,

This is the intensive care unit of this hospital in Uganda. Caroline

has come here with her daughter. Her daughter is just three months old.

She is struggling to breathe. Caroline has just been told that her

daughter has malaria. And she not the only one. Most of the children

on this ward also have malaria. As daylight fades, all Caroline and the

other mothers can do is hope. Overnight, Caroline stays by

Prossie's side. But by morning, Prossie's condition has worsened.

She is slipping in and out of consciousness. And is painfully

weak. With resources so stretched, it is up to Caroline to feed her

daughter through a tube. Prossie is now sharing her bed with another

baby. Little Patricia has just been brought in. She has severe malaria,

too. And her mother also has to do what she can to help. Two mothers,

two babies. Both fighting for life. Suddenly, Patricia isn't breathing.

The doctor can't find a heartbeat. Medical staff are hopeful Prossie

has turned a corner. But there is still a long way to go. Malaria is a

preventable and curable disease if caught in time. We urgently need

your donations tonight. Please call... Or go to...

I have been to a malaria clinics, and you never forget it. Since we

have run that film, two children have died of malaria.

A fiver could save two children's lives.

You can use your phone to save lives.

You can use your laptop to save lives.

I know we keep asking, but these children keep dying.

Standard geographic charges from landlines

But what mostly applies is your love reaching out.

Clash of the Titans now, and it's Team Rhythmic Gymnastics.

I just can't get enough of that lycra.

John, you're a dab hand with the ribbon, aren't you?

We have, in the Redgrave corner, Kate Garraway, Omid Djalili,

And in the Flintoff corner, Darren Gough, Maddy Hill

and the captain himself, Freddie Flintoff.

We will grab a word with these two in a minute, because they are

getting ready for the team triathlon. Let's remind you of the

team standings at the moment. It is looking good for Team Flintoff. Team

Redgrave just behind. Sophie, your team, in control. They are all

happy, they look like they are smiling. What is the feeling like in

the red team? Well, it is quite close, isn't it? Freddie is very

cool, calm, confident. But he is a bit take it or leave it. But when he

got out on the track, that last lap, you can see that just determined

that we should win. And Clara, your team is struggling at the moment.

This lot think you are mentally frail. First things first, I would

not call it struggling. We are only one point behind and I think we are

mentally strong, aren't we?! So, yes. We have got this! Who is ready

for another event? Let's do this. This is couple interesting one. It

requires athleticism, it requires sporting prowess. And you have got

to be good with your hands. Is is big, this is rhythmic gymnastics.

Good job I am not taking part, I nearly fell over! And the selection

process was brutal. Let's see who is going to come out. Rhythmic

gymnastics is the ultimate test of strength, coordination, and most

importantly, teamwork. As captain I am giving myself the ribbon. This is

an event I want to win. It tests everything about you. Coming from

EastEnders, obviously, I am going to put quite a bit of drama into this

performance. Watch this space. I have always been good with a ball.

So the ball is my weapon. Let's get it on, Redgrave. Sir Steve Redgrave

has assembled a pool in the squad of the very best in gymnastics. Hooping

is my life, I was hooping champion when I was seven years old. A lot of

people like to think of me as a UK Beyonce, with a ribbon. This is

serious. It is rhythmic gymnastics! I've seen the rehearsal. I can

assure you, you're about to see things you will never see again.

Whether you'd like to see them again is something completely separate.

Guiding us through this event, let's hand to our commentary team,

Christine and Craig. We are at the top of the velodrome and ready to

see a gymnastic competition like nothing else. Gymnastic fans, forget

the Olympic Games. The action is right here. The competition is

hotting up. Let's look at the teams. We have a team of professional

judges to assess the teams. They will score each team out of ten.

There's three judges, so the teams are looking for a maximum of 30

marks. Back to you Dan for the action.

Let's bring out the first team then, go wild for Team Flintoff!

# Live and let die # Darren Gough, Maddy Hill and the

captain, Freddie Flintoff! There we can see Darren with the ball looking

confident. Maddy has the hoop and the team captain, interesting,

Freddie Flintoff, taking the ribbon onto the floor.

They move straight to their positions, salute to the judges.

# So important to interpret the music here.

# Turn around # Plenty of drama sewn into the

performance. Good tumbling skills and look at the control with the

ball. Have to show mastery with the apparatus. That he does. Loads of

expression and a bit of skill as well. The hoop has to keep moving at

all times. The gymnast has to be at one with this apparatus. She's

really telling the story and how about this - elegance personified,

selling the routine with his face. Wow! Bit of artistic gymnastics as

well, head spring. You have to keep the apparatus moving all the time.

So important to finish in time with the music. And with the apparatus.

Are they going to make it? Just about.

CHEERING That was some special performance.

Look at that bromance there, the concentration, such a flamboyant

routine there. Slightly concerned about the fluidity of the routine.

Superb control of the hoop there and then you can see such ball control.

This is the difficult part. Look at the catch. Highest difficulty. Bit

of acrobatic skills. Not normally something you'd want to see in slow

mo. Look at the tears here. That was an emotional performance. Very

emotional. I hope that transmitted to the judgeds. I put my heart,

soul, everything into that. It's probably difficult for you to talk,

isn't it? Yeah, it is. Let's move on. You know all about selling a

story. What a story. What a love story that was. It was a story of

unrequited love. I'm still not quite over it. We're all on the brink of

tears at the moment. What do you think Bonnie Tyler would have made

this afternoon? Proper love story. I haven't seen Fred for a few years,

so it was the perfect song. The scores are in:

The red team are unhappy with the eight. What a performance, 26 Mr

Flintoff. It is out of ten isn't it? Yes, it is! We're happy with that.

That judge on the end knows nowt. Who's she? Is she a last minute

replacement. I will not be giving you her name. That is enough from

you. Shall we get our second team out. Here we go. It's Team Redgrave!

Tameka Empson, Omid Djalili and Kate Garraway. Kate with the ball, Omid

with the hoop and Tameka, we expect something special with the ribbon

there. They've a lot to do. 26 is the target to beat.

Resplendent in blue, so elegant in their presentation to the judges.

Very carefully choreographed start here.

Have to make sure there's no knots. Expressive from the start.

Synchronisation. # Her name was lola, she was a show

girl # Beautiful foot work, right on the

toes. Keeping the ribbon working all the time. Real expressive

performance here. Oh, fantastic splits! Great work with the hoop.

Keep it moving all the time. Boomerang, wow! How ambitious is

that. Fantastic work! The elegance of the ball. Lovely ball etic work.

-- balletic work. Secure handling. Good transfer from gymnast to

gymnast. They just need a big finish now.

Here it comes! Whoa, what style! What a very dramatic and original

performance there. Stacked with difficulty and full of originality

from start to finish. Even a bit of comedy thrown in there.

Just look at this, the control there. Showing great confidence in

the dance move. This, for me, was superb control. Very difficult to

control the ribbon. Up and down. And just watch this for something

different. The blue team absolutely loved that. You were at one with the

hoop. They say you play the Olympic velodrome twice in your career, once

on the way up, once on the way down. It's great to be back. You let the

ribbon live out there. That was the mantra of the day - let the ribbon

live. I'm glad you at home enjoyed that as well. Praise God. Have you

done enough to win? I think more than enough, don't you? Let's find

out from the judges. The scores are in:

Not another one is it? It's a ten! Seven to win.

Is it going to be a full house. It's a ten! A full house. The blue team

celebrates and team Redgrave are going bananas. Let's get

confirmation of what happened out there on the floor.

What a sensational result for team Redgrave. Maximum score, giving them

two points. Unfortunately a 26, team Flintoff settle for one. Dan, back

to you. We have got freestyle wrestling on

the way. Harry Judd will take on Paddy McGuinness, do not go

anywhere! Team Flintoff has six points, team

Redgrave also has six points. It's down to the wire for the fourth

event, the one we've all been waiting for, wrestling.

More from the VeloPark later on BBC Two,

when we'll see mankind's finest specimens Harry Judd

Two men all muscular and sweaty, writhing around together

CHEERING Who's want to see that? Both of us and everybody else.

OK, now, Sainsbury's has been selling all the official

Sport Relief merchandise, and everyone has been fundraising

So, former world champion hurdler and Wales's finest Colin Jackson

The last few seconds before a race feels like an eternity. All that

dedication and hard work comes down to this moment, millimetres can

separate gold and silver. Since the start of Sport Relief, Sainsbury's

has been a huge contender in the race to raise as much money as they

can for Sport Relief. People from stores all across the country have

been doing their bit to raise cash. Their staff have put on a

magnificent display by taking part in events up and down the country,

which has added to the huge Sport Relief total. They are also

supporting the Sport Relief Games bringing the entire nation together

to get active and raise huge amounts of cash. Down the home straight,

this is where all the hard work and preparation pays off allowing you,

the amazing customers, to fill your baskets with the official Sport

Relief merchandise - T-shirts, wristbands, pin badges, sweat bands

and these little guys. Money raised from these items have had a massive

impact across the globe. So, to all the wonderful people who work at

Sainsbury's and their fantastic customers, there's only one thing

left to say - thank you! Thank you so much Colin.

We love you Sainsbury's. Let's have a look at how

much they have raised. Honestly, thank you. I don't mind

paying for me plastic bags now. That is amazing.

You have all been at it. The country has gone Sport Relief mad. It's

brilliant. Thank you. When Ebola hit Sierra Leone,

parents were scared to take their children to hospital

in case they caught it. One of the outcomes of that terrible

situation was that cases of malnutrition increased,

and many children died of it. The Ebola crisis is over,

but sadly malnutrition The film you're about

to see is upsetting. People in Sierra Leone have faced

an unimaginable year in which Ebola But the truth is, ten

times that number of children under five die every

year from other causes. One of the most easily

preventable is malnutrition. This is the malnutrition ward

in the only children's hospital One-year-old Edward and his mum

arrived two days ago. As well as being severely

malnourished, Edward is extremely dehydrated and needs

to take on fluids. But his little body is so weak,

everything is a struggle. Malnutrition is not only a

preventable, but also a treatable But that relies on getting a sick

child to hospital in time. Like so many other children here,

Emmanuel's condition is a severe, because his mum could not

get him to hospital sooner. And it made the health problems in

Sierra Leone so much worse. But even before Ebola,

far too often, children were arriving at hospital

already dangerously ill. Already weakened by a lack

of nutrients, he also has pneumonia. For Edward and his mum,

life is extremely tough. Their reality, as for so many,

is an endless cycle Ultimately, this is the main cause

of malnutrition in under-fives. Through Sport Relief,

your money can educate parents on the importance of

getting to hospital And give these children

the chance they Please call... Or go online. Thank

you. It is awful. Malnutrition. It feels so helpless.

But what you can do is help to make sure mothers spot the warning signs

and get to hospital before it is too late.

Your donations can help us get the right nutrients to children

Edward's death could have been prevented.

Please, please help us to help others before it is too late

The moment we've all been waiting for -

the return of one of Britain's best-loved comedy characters.

Last time this was on TV was 1978 - Rod Stewart was number one,

Liverpool had recently won yet another European Cup, and Davina...

Well, Davina was 23. Betty! Actually, that was good.

None of this will be making much sense to the youngsters -

by which I mean people under 35 - but believe me this guy was Miranda,

Mr Bean and Mrs Brown all rolled into one hilarious man in a beret.

Kids, parents, and grandparents, don't try this at home,

but if you do, get sponsored for Sport Relief.

It is time for Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em!

I had better pull over. I do not want to have an accident. Hello?

This is Mr Fresco and is speaking. I am he. Who may I ask is calling? It

is me, Betty, your wife. You know it is me, it says my name. Oh, yes,! Am

I up your end as well? Where are you? You were such post to be here

half an hour ago. You're going to miss our daughter's big race. Don't

worry, I will be there. I have just got to pop in and get Jessica some

flowers. Oh, be quick. Don't fluster me, Betty. You know how flustered I

get lately, what with me going through the change. Men don't go

through the change, Frank. Well how else would you explain my recent

erotic behaviour? I think you mean erratic, Frank. They will you please

just hurry up? Stop! Stop! Betty! Help! Get out the

way! I can't stop! Get out the way! The brakes don't work!

You have ruined my car. You idiot! Excuse me, young man. An angry

motorist is a bad motorist. You clearly have not been driving very

long, or will she would have more consideration for a man on a

bicycle. What are you doing on the roof of a car, on a bicycle? Well,