Cutdown The Premier League's Most Amazing Moments

Oh, hello, I'm Donovan Daily and I like my beers cold,

my women hot and my football Premier League.

So when the BBC asked me to host

The Premier League's Most Amazing Moments show, I said, "Hell, yeah."

But I told them I'll need a sidekick, a yin to my yang,

a Tonto to my Lone Ranger for this amazing quest.

He had to be a Premier League legend.

So I made my pick.

"Who was it, Don?" I hear you cry.

"Was it Zola, Cantona, Beckham?"

Oh, no, this guy's far superior, he's a maverick.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you

Mr Robert Savage.

Don, you're two hours early and it's Robbie.

Robbie, really? You're still calling yourself that?

'Wow, what a goal!'

'Le Tissier!'

Fan-dabi-dozi.

Join us for a feast of fabulous football.

I've never missed a goal like that.

We've got tears and triumph and trauma and tantrums.

I remember thinking, "What's going on here?"

And goals. Lots of goals.

What do you expect me to do with a shot like that?

Plus comedy gold. Ha-ha.

Says it all. Pretty embarrassing.

20 years of the best football on the planet,

served up in bitesize nuggets.

Welcome to the Premier League's 50 Most Amazing Moments.

Let's be having you!

'City are champions!'

Well, why don't you guys at home kick back, relax, chillax,

if you like, get the little lady to bring you an ice cold beer,

while me and Robbie make TV history.

Come on, let's go, get you some clothes on.

-Have you got any biscuits?

-Ginger nuts.

-Ginger nuts, mmm.

Paul Scholes, ha-ha-ha.

# It was a beautiful day... #

Celebrating a goal is one of the most joyous moments

in any footballer's life. It's elation, it's bliss.

It's unrestrained, pure unadulterated ecstasy.

But there's always an exception to the rule

and this was truly exceptional.

Hello, Newcastle super sub Temuri Ketsbaia.

'..Ketsbaia!'

He walks over,

the shirt comes off, then he looks like he's going to do

a full-on strip.

I don't know what he was trying to do,

cos he tried to take his shoe off to kick the hoarding, which would probably break his foot.

'Extraordinary gestures from Temuri Ketsbaia.

'He's ripped off his shirt.'

So he just lets rip on the advertising boards

and just starts kicking hell out of them.

And you're watching him thinking, nutter.

He had a set plan after he scored a goal. It's like,

"I'm going to kick the fast food once,

"I'm going to kick the shoe manufacturer twice.

"Get away from me, I'm on a roll!

"I've got a plan!

"Don't mess with me!"

But after a while, everyone just kept away from him

cos they didn't know what he was going to do next.

# That boy needs therapy... #

Some say he was angry because he was sick of being a sub.

If you want to get picked, don't destroy the stadium.

If I want a promotion at work and go up to my boss and go,

"I've been trying really hard,

"but to make my point I've thrown the fish tank out of the window.

"Let's talk about a raise." That's not how you do it, Temuri.

But only now has the truth come out.

When he was young, he was attacked in his sleep

by a burger

and a shoe!

It was terrible, OK?

He's not happy about it!

14 years later, Temuri finally calmed down

and, apparently, runs an anger management clinic

with Roy Keane and Joey Barton.

Or did I just make that up?

Every so often in football something happens that you have to see

to believe it.

Well, exactly, and this one Robbie's seen,

but he still doesn't believe.

Robbie, are you a conspiracy theorist?

Do you believe in another life form? Who did shoot JFK?

Three times in four minutes 23 seconds, that is impressive.

There's not much you can do in four minutes and 33 seconds.

Watch a tenth of an episode of Magnum. Choose a nice hat to wear.

Start building a boat.

But in the time it takes you to do any of these things,

this 19-year-old Spice Boy did something quite remarkable.

Robbie Fowler, I think, was the best striker of his generation.

One of the most naturally-gifted goalscorers of all time.

It was August 1994, Liverpool versus Arsenal, and Premier League legend

Fowler didn't just break a Premier League record, he annihilated it.

It didn't surprise me, the hat-trick, but the speed of it did.

MUSIC: "Can't Stop" by Red Hot Chilli Peppers

He really announced himself with that four-minute, 33-second hat-trick,

which has never been beaten in Premier League history.

The reason he scored so quickly was because he wanted get off.

He was going down Ritzy's with the rest of the Spice Boys.

Arsenal, a team with the best defence in probably Premiership history.

And he absolutely single-handedly took them apart.

I created the third goal. He had enough composure to control it on the by-line

and pop it in for the hat-trick.

He just wasn't scared of anyone,

because he wasn't old enough to be scared.

It's not often people have smiles on their faces and are pleased

when you say "three times in four minutes and 33 seconds."

Whatever do you mean, Charlotte?

At 23, it's Manchester United and a controversial moment.

Who'd have thunk it?

They're at home, it's 2010,

and it is Hard-Luck Hotspurs on the receiving end.

'Nani trying to squeeze in behind Nani! Was he fouled?

'Mark Clattenberg says no penalty.'

Nani thinks it's a penalty.

He's literally put his hand on the ball.

Gomes sees Nani putting a hand on the ball and goes, clearly

this is a free kick and prepares to punt it up field.

At that point, Nani nicks the ball before Gomes gets to it,

looks at the referee...

And the ref said, "Yes, it is fine. Do what you wanna do, bruv."

He looked at Fergie. "Fergie? Yes? Are you ready?"

Great, and play, and they score.

-'The goal is given.

-'What a bizarre incident here.

'Gomes comes across and screams at the assistant here.'

The linesman actually flags for the original handball,

so there are about five different reasons

why the goal shouldn't have stood.

'This is Gomes, still carries on the protest here.

'Just have another look at this. Nani going through. His hand touches it.'

'Exactly. So Tottenham are assuming it's a free kick.

'Gomes puts it down on the floor, Nani realises it isn't a free kick

'and sticks it in the back of the net.

'This is one of these where you really wish

'you could ask the officials.'

Well, let's ask one.

For me, I think Martin got it wrong.

Thanks, Referee Graham Poll. There you go, Spurs. Consolation for you.

'Well, that is the most bizarre goal I think

'I have ever seen in the Barclays Premier League.'

Tattoos, permanent homages to the things you love most in your life.

Those constants that never change, like your loved ones

and classic words of wisdom.

Take Robert Nesbitt here.

He loved Newcastle's Andy Cole so much

that he had him tattooed on his thigh.

It's a strange place to have a tattoo, as a man, on your thigh.

Hey, fellas, have you seen my tattoo?

Let me just take my entire bottom half off.

But the location of the tattoo was unfortunately

the least of his troubles.

Two days later, literally 48 hours,

Andy Cole moves to Manchester United.

I was devastated. I didn't believe it. He's a star, isn't he?

Tattoos are a risky business at the best of times.

To have any footballer who is currently still playing the game

is a bit silly.

Yes, this was the most amazingly ill-conceived tattoo

in the history of the Premier League.

I'd be distraught.

I probably wouldn't even go for laser, I'd want to scratch it off. I wonder what he's done.

He could remove his upper leg, or, as a very last resort, change team.

Apparently he has had it covered over now with a tattoo of his own leg,

which I think works.

# Oh, yeah, you with the sad face

# Come back to my place and we'll get it on

# Yeah-eah-eah... # Oh.

Why are you on my piano... and why are you with my wife?

Your wife?! Christ - I thought that was your twin sister.

In hindsight, yeah, you do regret your actions,

but, at the same time, it was done for the right reasons.

'Not spotted.

'Oh. He's got it!'

It was Boxing Day 2008 in Manchester.

City were full of festive cheer and Hull, it seemed,

were still full of festive beer.

'Robinho is arriving, if he can find him, and does!

'Manchester City just insatiable here.'

We had 5,500 travelling Hull City fans

that were packed in at the Etihad Stadium.

And I felt as if we'd really them down.

So they were four-nil down at half time,

and manager Phil Brown was about to do something so extraordinary,

you'll need to sit down.

We all made a bee-line for... in front of the supporters.

He decided to give the team talk on the pitch.

Which is a bit like that couple who have a row in t'local pub on a Saturday

and everyone has to watch 'em. It's like, "Come on!"

# We don't need no education

I could have got them in the warmth of the changing room,

but I felt as if it was a Sunday league performance.

So, I delivered it on the pitch.

He basically tells them off. Like a schoolteacher telling off some kids.

With 25 cameras at the stadium, it was prime-time viewing.

# Hey, teacher, leave them kids alone... #

'Phil Brown venting his frustrations on the field

'to his team at half time.'

But it gets better. One year later, in exactly the same fixture,

at exactly the same end of the pitch,

those naughty, little boys go the chance to get their own back

on their own manager.

Paul McShane, the Irishman, he goes,

"I tell you what we should do, whoever scores, we should like,

"honestly, get all the boys round him and do the Phil Brown."

I said, "I guarantee I'll score now, I will guarantee you that."

Cos it's always me, you know what I mean.

'And Jimmy Bullard has the opportunity.

'And Hull City are level.'

I lost my head, fans just going mental.

The boys said, "Celebrate." I said, "I am celebrating,"

And they're like, "No, no, the Phil Brown." We sit down, we done it.

'Oh, look at the celebration, ha-ha! Jimmy Bullard!'

I didn't know if he was going to be fuming or if he'd be like,

"Oh, that's brilliant."

I just couldn't control myself, I was laughing beyond recognition,

it was unbelievable.

He sort of, sort of took it as to say,

"Yeah, good celebration, but don't push your mark."

Do you know what I mean? To be fair, it's a great celebration.

You know, year on, same place, that's just class as well.

When most people think of Blackburn

they think of my Uncle Merton's canal boat,

the Pendlebury roundabout and holes, loads of holes.

But the Premier League champions? Don't be a daft 'a'p'orth.

Once upon a time, 1995 to be exact, football witnessed what can

only be described as its own Lancashire fairytale.

Blackburn hadn't won the title for over 80 years.

In fact, the last time they won it, King George V was on the throne,

Charlie Chaplin made his first film and Madonna was born.

Then suddenly Jack Walker comes in with his millions

and they suddenly were contenders from day one in the Premiership.

Two points ahead of Man United on the final day,

all they had to do was win their last game and they'd win the league.

Blackburn were going to Liverpool, Man United coming to West Ham...

Anything for Liverpool fans that can stop Manchester Utd winning

the title is a good thing.

Naturally, it was all going to plan - Blackburn take the lead.

'Good ball. Alan Shearer. Magnificently done.

-'Just when it was needed most.'

-But someone hadn't read the script.

Liverpool weren't supposed to equalise.

'Oh, John Barnes. Kenny Dalglish is going to be utterly furious.'

I didn't score many towards the end of my career so I think

I gave a bit of a celebration until I remembered what it meant.

-And then disaster. Liverpool weren't meant to score again.

-'Oh, my God!'

Blackburn were losing. Kenny's title hopes were teetering on the brink.

We didn't expect Liverpool to do us

any favours, they end up going in front.

Blackburn just had to pray United didn't win at West Ham.

'Alistair with the flick-off. It's Cole.'

We just couldn't score.

The amount of chances we created had clearances off the line.

The keeper made so many world-class saves, it was unbelievable.

Maybe you should bring on Baby Becks, eh, Fergie?

We had so many chances to win it

and couldn't put the ball in the back of the net.

Back at Ewood Park, the whistle's gone

and the news slowly filters through of the United result.

'Even Kenny doesn't know.'

Did you see the faces of the fans getting beat at Liverpool?

Suddenly they're in tears.

They think Man United will win at West Ham.

Then the result comes through from Upton Park it's been a draw.

You see Kenny on the touchline jumping for joy.

The fans suddenly...

It was a great day and it was a special day

in my opinion in the history of English football.

'Man United could not win. Blackburn Rovers are champions.'

Sometimes it's written in the stars and you're not meant to win it.

It couldn't have worked out any better.

A true Lancashire fairytale - Blackburn were champions.

Unfortunately, it didn't last.

They were relegated a few seasons alter.

It may take them another 80 years to win it again. If they're lucky.

Fernando Torres was a sensation for Liverpool.

Everybody at Liverpool took him to their heart.

Fernando Torres was one of Liverpool's best signings,

scoring 65 goals in just 102 games.

'Torres!'

That is brilliant.

A team would have to rob a bank to get a legend like that.

So when Chelsea paid a Premier League record of £50 million for Torres,

they were surely on to a winner.

Imagine them in the board meeting going,

Abramowitz going, "50 million," and everyone going...

"Don't say anything."

# It's not about the money, money, money... #

At that price, he was surely going to be a huge success, wasn't he?

His first half a season there,

I think he got more yellow cards than he did league goals.

With a record that not even a mascot could be proud of,

Torres had to do something special to turn his season around.

And what better place to prove himself

than at Old Trafford against the might of Manchester United.

Torres looking really sharp throughout the game.

Man United are lucky to be in front.

-He does a brilliant step over, the confidence is back.

-Open goal.

Come on, boy. You're back!

This was his moment, his chance for salvation at last. This was it.

'He's going to score... Oh, my word.

'And that, I'm afraid, caps the lot.

It was like God had said, let's give Chelsea some hope.

No, let's take it away.

'That was an open empty goal.'

The rabona. Perhaps the most beautiful, yet gloriously impossible move in football.

Executed by only the most skilled artistes of the game.

And this fella.

'Here's David Dunn.

'Ah. Dear, oh, dear.'

David Dunn, bless him.

He tries a Messi-esque move, doesn't he?

But it's David Dunn and it doesn't work for him.

Not only does he miss the ball,

but to kick your standing leg and knock yourself down,

it's just brilliant!

It's like the footballing equivalent to Del Boy

falling through the bar.

What on earth was going through his mind?

"It's nice weather out there. Oh, look at that girl.

"Wow, a butterfly..

"WOH! WHAT AM I DOING?!"

I think you can only ever try a piece of skill like that

if you're Brazilian. Possibly Argentinian.

Not if you're David Dunn.

'Good job his manager's laughing.'

This is a lesson in how to reduce your transfer value

from five million to five pence in one second.

Could Dunn have been the English Ronaldo? Erm...

No.

-You played for Leicester City, right?

-Yeah, I did.

Here's something that'll cheer you up.

It's a story about someone being fantastic in a Leicester City game.

Is it me?

Not this time, champ.

# Dennis, Dennis Bergkamp Dennis, Dennis Bergkamp... #

What can you say about Dennis Bergkamp that hasn't already been said?

He's a nasty little so-and-so.

-All right, Gary.

-He's the type of player

that would clip your heels or give you a little niggle.

He was quite a chewy player.

OK, leave it, mate. Pot and kettle, black and all that.

-I liked the fact he was quiet.

-Hang on - nasty and quiet?!

-But magnificent player to witness.

-That's better.

He had the touch of a wizard.

Dennis Bergkamp, the non-flying Dutchman, was possibly

the greatest ever Premier League import.

In 1997, he did something that no other player has done before or after.

Over to you, Des.

Right now, it's the result of our first goal of the month

competition for this season.

Third was goal 4 by Dennis Bergkamp.

# There goes my hero... #

The second was goal 9 by Dennis Bergkamp.

'Here's Bergkamp. Ohh, that is special.'

And first was this one.

He may not like flying,

but he does love scoring.

'In for Bergkamp...

'And Dennis Bergkamp! What a goal.'

There's some stragglers that go a whole career without

having a goal of the month, or come in third.

Having first, second and third is, like, phenomenal.

Guess what? We've not always had instant media access.

Football news was once delivered by men with hats, carrier pigeons

and by an old bloke in the crowd with a wireless. Usually,

this was fine, but in May 1996, it proved anything but.

Man City go into the last game of the season against Liverpool,

and they need a win to ensure survival and make sure they stay up.

'Yes! It's 2-2.'

At the start of the game, they needed to win,

but results elsewhere could change this at any time.

A fan in the crowd hears that a 2-2 draw will be enough to keep them up.

That information then gets relayed to Alan Ball,

who tells the guys to "sit back, sit tight, just defend, we'll be fine".

'It looks as though City are going to try and run down the clock.'

# You're my favourite waste of time... #

From then on, Man City kept the ball, passing it around,

played keep-ball. Ran down the clock.

That went on for about three minutes,

and it was right at the end of the game.

'Again. That's a goal kick now.'

Somebody on a wireless, little earpiece in their ear,

listening away to the game, has got their maths wrong.

Yep, some random bloke who'd put two and two together

and come up with an umbrella, and City had believed him.

They actually needed to win, or they were going to go down.

The best thing of that was that everyone was on the bench,

and Niall Quinn went

"I think actually, we probably need another goal".

'Some frantic messages are coming from the Manchester City dugout.

'Alan Ball on his feet.

'A point may not be enough to keep them in the league.'

Niall Quinn got up and ran down to tell him

"We haven't got time to waste time. It's not the result we thought.

"We're losing. Hurry up and try and do something."

'City holding on by their fingertips to life in the Premiership.'

So by the time they then said,

"We have to try and score", it was too late.

# Our time is running out... #

That was it.

One fan with one radio with one dodgy bit of info

had consigned Man City to relegation.

It's like a cloud has come over the club.

Perhaps, looking back, we know where the damage was done.

Don't worry - maybe one day,

you'll be taken over by a family worth, I don't know, £100 billion,

and you'll be able to buy your own radio

and maybe even a Premier League title.

It's January 2005, and the ever fortunate Tottenhams

are visiting Old Trafford, where they haven't won in 16 years.

Usually, it's because they've been a bit rubbish,

but this time, it could be different.

This time, they really crossed the line. Or did they?

Pedro Mendes had a mad shot

from just inside his own half, or roundabout the halfway line.

I think he knew Carroll was off his line. Carroll tries to make the ground up.

'Oh, that's an error! Surely that crossed the line?'

The initial thought was "It's in".

'Tottenham appeal. From our vantage point, that looked over the line.'

It was a goal! That's what I remember. It was a goal.

You didn't need goal-line technology to see that.

Everybody in the stadium could see the ball had crossed the line.

I've never seen a ball that far over a goal line and never given.

Anyone who's got children

knows that this look...

is a look that someone's done something wrong.

He should have given the goal

on the basis of Roy Carroll's guilty look.

Dodgy, dodgy, dodgy Man United again.

Don't be silly, Ricky. You put him straight, Pally.

There was a little bit of luck that Manchester United,

as everybody says, seems to get when they play at Old Trafford.

I take it back.

'Pedro Mendes still can't believe it.'

Never mind, I'm sure Tottenham's luck will change at some point,

but then again, maybe not.

When it comes to football,

the French play with a joie de vivre,

a je ne sais quoi, whatever that means,

and plenty of va-va-voom.

'Henry! Oh, what a goal!'

Yes, it's fair to say they're definitely not "merde",

but what the world witnessed at Highbury on 22nd October 2005

was less vintage champagne, more coq au vin.

'It's penalty number two. Arsenal have another spot-kick.'

Having already scored from the spot ten minutes earlier,

Robert Pires stepped up again to put the game beyond doubt.

'Oh, they're trying something here.'

Pires wanted to tap it and get Henry to come and smash it in,

just to be cocky, showing they're the best.

It's just a complete and utter shambles.

'Well, you might do that when you're five or six up,

'but Arsenal are left with egg on their face.'

The great thing about it is that Danny Mills, when it happens,

he can't work out whether he wants to clear the danger of the goal

or he wants to get in Robert Pires' ear.

In the end, somebody else clears the ball

and he can get in Robert Pires' ear.

Why would you go mental? They've missed it anyway. It don't matter.

I'd be tapping them on the back.

I wish I could repeat what I said,

but I think anybody that can half lip-read

will work it out for themselves.

-It might look like he's calling him a

-BLEEP,

but Danny Mills had in fact noticed they were merely trying

to replicate the 1982 Cruyff-Olsen penalty.

'Olsen... Goal.'

Somebody told me that it was your idea. >

It was, but it wasn't my idea to make his leg go numb.

Back in 1993, we had Fergie Time,

the legend of the 98th minute winner.

'Can you believe that?'

Now it's back in Fergie Time 2: When Injury Time Lasted A Week.

And this time, it's personal.

Man United-Man City has always been massive.

At number 13, it's the first Manchester derby of 2009,

and it's 3-2 to United.

And it's the last minute of the game.

'Bellamy...he scores!

'On the cusp of stoppage time,

'Bellamy has stopped the champions in their tracks.'

Manchester City fans were just bouncing

in that corner of Old Trafford.

They've gone behind three times. They've got a point.

But the fools haven't accounted for...

Fergie Time.

# Tick, tock, tick, tock... #

Four minutes is up. Mark Hughes, the manager, on the touchline,

thinks "Great - we've got a fantastic heroic point here".

-I think you're forgetting one thing.

-Fergie Time.

'Mark Hughes is asking why the whistle hasn't gone.

'We've had four and a half minutes, he says.'

Ferguson's probably checking his watch,

saying "Four minutes - that means six."

'You know who he learnt his timekeeping from, of course.'

So the four minutes had gone. So had the five.

Will the whistle ever go?

'Hughes is getting angrier and angrier down below us.'

And it's the 96th minute when the inevitable, of course, happens.

Giggs just threads a beautifully weighted pass to Michael Owen,

who slots it in the back of the net.

'Michael Owen wins it in the most extraordinary way!

'And Mark Hughes is furious.'

United never lose games, they just run out of time.

'Surely the whistle now.'

WHISTLE BLOWS

'That's it!

'One of the most extraordinary derbies you are ever likely to see.'

That's right. Can you remind them why, Jimmy?

-There's normal time, and then there's Fergie time.

-Thanks, Jimmy.

So watch out for Fergie Time 3: A Game Of Two Halves,

Or Three If You Need It, coming to a theatre of dreams near you.

In 2006, Spurs were just one game away from securing

their very first Champions League spot and trumping the enemy.

-This was their moment at last.

-They're going to overtake Arsenal.

Arsenal are going to finish out of the Champions League.

It's a major disaster for Arsene Wenger.

Questions are being asked. Could he go?

The Tottenham squad went to a hotel in Canary Wharf

to prepare for the biggest moment of their season.

They have a lovely lasagne the night before,

and then in the morning, they feel a little bit gippy.

The pasta proved a problem, and during the night,

there were rumblings in the Tottenham camp.

Have you had food poisoning before?

Have you tried to get up the next day?

Have you tried to leave the toilet? You know when you get up and go

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine now, I can actually leave",

and then you hit the door

and you're like "No, I've got to sit back down again.

It was squeaky bum time all round, as West Ham took full advantage.

'Yossi Benayoun may well have finished off

'Tottenham Hotspur's European Champions League dream.'

There's nothing worse

than trying to do a job whilst mentally tethered to the lav.

And those considerate West Ham fans did what they could

to help the players out in their time of need. Ah, bless.

'There's the full-time whistle. West Ham have beaten Tottenham

'and Arsenal will strut their Champions League stuff

'at the Emirates Stadium next season.'

Tottenham lose, they blow their chances of the Champions League

and they blow their chances of overtaking Arsenal.

But did they ever get to the bottom of Lasagne-gate?

Was the truth ever found out?

Lasagne-gate should be reopened cos no-one knows what happened.

I'm thinking the kitchen hands might have been Arsenal fans.

The fact that the chef in the hotel's surname was Wenger

might tell you all you need to know.

Know what I mean?

So whether it was a dodgy lasagne or just a virus in the Spurs camp,

Tottenham's season went down the pan and pretty much crowns them

the unluckiest Premier League team of the lot.

On that freezing cold night when the Titanic sunk, one man got the blame.

-That, of course, was the captain.

-Where are you going with this?

Well, to football's very own Titanic,

captained - of course, Mr Savage -

rather badly by YOU.

Here's Derby County.

-Great breaststroke.

-Hell of a form.

# You're free... #

11 is one of my most favourite numbers.

There are 11 players on a football team.

Apollo 11 took Neil Armstrong to the moon,

and the number 11 bus was where I first kopped off with Kirsty Juggins.

But for Derby County fans,

11 is probably their least favourite number of all time.

-Derby County got relegated with 11 points.

-11 points.

We all understand that teams lose,

but there is losing and there is like, being the worst loser.

'Harper... Reading are ahead!

'What a big, big goal!'

'Deflected and deflected in.'

They won one game out of a whole season.

That's in the Guinness Book Of Records, right?

It wasn't all bad news for Derby, they did have one moment of glory.

'A shot from Miller...! And how much will that goal mean to Derby County?'

They beat Newcastle.

I mean, that's a positive if you're a Sunderland fan.

Derby's 1-0 win was just a tiny blip

and by 28th October they were firmly rooted to the bottom of the table.

They were desperate and needed a superstar to get them out of trouble.

Henry was unavailable, Becks was otherwise engaged,

and Ronaldo was just too pretty.

So they turned to the only person they could to drag them from the abyss -

a long-haired saviour and exotic dancer.

Clearly, the signing of Robbie Savage had a huge,

galvanising effect on Derby that season(!)

I thought I'd go there and make a difference.

Try and get them a few more points

and even keep them in the Premier League, but... I didn't.

# I'm a loser, baby... #

Derby's 11 points was the lowest tally ever

and they became the only team to be relegated before April.

Another record, well done, Robbie(!)

'And Derby's season is just slipping away.'

It just goes to show

that the Premier League is the best league in the world

and teams like Derby County prove it to us.

Myself and Robbie went to every pub in the land

and we asked the resident old bloke in the hat at the end of the bar

what his favourite ever Premier League game was.

They all said, without a doubt this one -

apart from old Gutty McGinty, but he's a miserable old sod.

It's number ten. It's Liverpool, it's Newcastle. It's 1996.

The game was amazing. It was the sort of game where people go,

"This is why the Premiership's so good."

Newcastle were only three points behind leaders Man United

and Liverpool still had an outside chance of the title.

Right from the off, both teams went for broke.

'What a start for Liverpool.'

What a match. Great game.

'Ferdinand...'

The best game in the Premier League ever, for me.

'Ginola with a finish.'

It was a great game to be involved in if you won.

'McManaman, taking on Albert... And a shot, it's a goal! Fowler!'

Newcastle were in front, then Liverpool were in front.

Then it was Newcastle again.

'Asprilla... Yes!'

It's right up there with the very best, simply because of the drama that was involved.

'A good ball in, Collymore!'

Stan Collymore - just brilliant.

He was raw power. In that sort of situation he was amazing.

'Now Ian Rush...'

And deep into injury time with the score at 3-3,

one more moment of Collymore magic sealed Newcastle's fate.

'Liverpool have won it!'

Even as a Newcastle fan, it didn't even matter that we lost,

it was such a great game of football.

Well, not everyone felt the same way.

Kevin Keegan really showed what it's like to be a football manager,

but more than that, a football fan.

As Stan Collymore rammed the winner in for Liverpool late on,

Keegan just kind of slumped in the dugout.

He knew that he was the victim in a great drama.

From a neutral's point of view, I think it's probably

one of the greatest games and at the end you can look back

and say it is the greatest game I have been involved in because we won.

From a footballing point of view, no.

Newcastle's title dreams were in tatters

and they eventually finished second to Man United,

the closest Keegan ever got.

To those that would say perhaps you should have shut up shop earlier,

you say, no, we carry on playing this way?

Yeah, or I go. There's no question the other way.

Football - it's a maelstrom of energetic excitement,

played at breakneck speeds and full of cut and thrust,

mud, sweat and tears.

'Horsfield!

'Kieran Richardson!'

But some of the most exciting and dramatic moments

occur when nothing happens at all.

At number nine is the final game of 2005

and probably the tensest and most dramatic ever on a Survival Sunday.

West Brom's Premiership lives were teetering on the brink of safety and relegation

and all they could do was wait.

For the first time in the Premier League,

any of the bottom four could survive relegation.

Which one? It was too close to call.

At the final whistle of the West Brom game,

they were left in limbo cos their game had finished early,

so they're all standing around the pitch - the players, the management, the coaching staff, thinking,

"Come on, the whistle's got to blow."

They'd done all they could. They'd won, but they had to hope their relegation rivals

Norwich, Southampton and Palace didn't.

Slim chance.

Tick followed tock, followed tick, followed tock.

They were all on telephones, weren't they?

They were all on old radios and stuff.

It was weird - what were they all listening to?

Were they phoning people...?

Were they phoning people at home who had the telly on?

# I can't get this pressure point out of my head

# I can't get this pressure point out of my head... #

I owned the team that was right in the middle of it.

I assumed we were going to stay up.

West Brom I had written off in my own mind.

The odds had been stacked against plucky West Brom all season.

They'd been rooted to the bottom for most of it

and were the bookies' favourite for the drop.

If they were going to survive,

this would be the Premier League's greatest escape.

All they could do was wait.

MUSIC: "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand

'The cheers have gone around the Hawthorns. The news has come through.

'Bryan Robson's Baggies are staying in the Barclays Premiership.'

It was one of the most memorable pitch invasions ever.

The players were carried off on shoulders.

# Take me out

# I stay, you don't show

# Don't move... #

West Brom were safe and Bryan Robson was hailed as a hero.

So happy, it sort of made... Everyone was in tears of joy.

It was a fantastic day for West Brom fans.

This was the greatest escape ever in the Premier League.

Everyone was euphoric - well, almost everyone.

For me, it wasn't very nice because it meant Palace got relegated

and West Brom stayed up.

What is it with football fans and inflatable objects?

They'll bring anything inflatable, whether it be a whale,

a ball, bouncy castles, a tent...

If you can put air in it, they'll bring it.

And by the time Sunderland hosted Liverpool in 2009,

inflatables were everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE.

'Now Cattermole takes over.'

The game was only five minutes old,

when a seemingly innocuous Darren Bent goal

was not as innocent as it appeared.

'Threatening here from Sunderland, it will fall for Bent!'

'A little deflection from the shot from Darren Bent off Glen Johnson.'

This was no Johnson deflection! This was beach ball-gate.

When Darren Bent took the shot it hit the beach ball absolutely spot-on, perfectly.

The beach ball one way, the ball in the back of the net. Good goal.

Could this incredible event

have been a tactical piece of Sunderland genius?

It was actually a Liverpool fan who threw the beach ball onto the pitch.

Imagine being him!

Irony of ironies.

It's always the one with the pixelated face.

Poor little fella. Imagine how bad he must have felt.

So this incredible moment secured victory

and mid-table mediocrity for Sunderland that year.

That beach ball was actually the fifth-highest scorer that year for Sunderland.

Joint fifth with Jordan Henderson.

And it wasn't long before everyone wanted a ropey old bag filled with hot air.

No, not that one!

Man City put a £30 million bid in.

But then they actually withdrew that bid

when they realised that the transfer price was inflated.

I was thinking, Robbie, you've played with some of the real great players.

Danny Mills, right?

Well, no, I was thinking more like Christophe Dugarry, Roque Santa Cruz and Gerry Taggart.

But how interesting is it

that some people lie about being a footballer

and get caught out straight away,

others manage to play 346 Premier League games!

-I'm a millionaire, though.

-Don't show off, Robbie, it's not becoming.

I know a bloke who blagged his way into a Spice Girls concert

backstage, which, to us at the time, was the greatest blag ever

but blagging yourself into a Premier League match, that's impressive.

REPORTER: It was a footballing gift horse

that Graeme Souness could hardly afford to turn down.

A striker recommended on the phone by an impeccable source,

world footballer of the year, George Weah.

In November 1996,

Southampton manager Graeme Souness was about to fall

for the greatest blag since Mel Gibson tried

to become the chief rabbi of Jerusalem.

Within days, the Southampton boss had given 30-year-old Ali Dia a month's contract.

That's right. On the basis of a hoax phone call,

Souness signed up Senegalese chancer Ali Dia.

He didn't bother seeing him play, he just let him loose on a full Premier League game.

Didn't he come on for Le Tissier? That's quite a gear change, isn't it?

Dia had previously failed at Port Vale, Gillingham

and non-League Blyth Spartans before conning his way into Southampton.

I love the realisation that must have taken place in Graeme Souness's head

of going, "Get out there, Ali, go and do it. Score a goal for us."

And him running out and turning to his assistant manager

and going, "Ali's not a footballer, is he?"

He came on in a game against somewhere where Matt Le Tissier went off injured

and really didn't show us that he was up to Premier League football.

That's pretty much cos he was a pub team player, Graeme.

How gullible is Graeme Souness? This isn't the first time it's happened.

Apparently Steve McMahon once dressed up as his wife

and pretended to be her for 15 years.

So Dia left the following morning, not even saying goodbye,

and found his natural home - five divisions below,

at non-league Gateshead.

Rumour has it that Souness now runs a successful hedge fund,

investing in tartan paint, chocolate toasters and magic beans.

Some say Arsenal of 2004 were good. Some say they were great.

But some say they were the best the Premier League has ever seen.

They were brilliant to watch. Fluid, total football.

They were amazing. They were a fantastic side.

Thierry Henry, perhaps the best player in the world at the time.

The pace and power of Henry, the guile and craft of Bergkamp.

He could actually break your leg.

Even neutrals sat back and admired it.

Never before had one team gone an entire season without losing

and Arsenal, with 37 games unbeaten, were on the cusp of immortality.

Only one more game to go.

The stage was set,

the final game at home to already-relegated Leicester City.

Easy. Glory was on its way, surely?

'That wasn't in the script, was it?

'Worried faces in the Arsenal camp.'

Hang on, one-nil down? Arsenal are losing?

Was this going to be the ultimate choke?

The last game of the season, losing one-nil down to Leicester.

As a fan, you're watching, thinking, "Oh, my god,

"we're not going to go a whole season unbeaten!"

But this isn't the Arsenal we know today. This lot were invincible.

For that team to go through the season unbeaten

and carry that run on was a tremendous achievement.

Unbelievable, the Invincibles.

'They are unbeaten. Hail the history men.'

For Arsenal to do what they did without losing a game

was incredible and I never thought I would see it done.

Absolutely incredible, and I don't think that will ever happen again.

This recipe, for wholewheat girdle cakes, is using up...

Delia Smith has been teaching the nation how to cook for 30 over years.

I think kebabs go particularly well with rice.

But back in 1996, she booked a place at the high table of football

when she stepped in to save her beloved Norwich City from bankruptcy.

Delia was great, she came into Norwich,

instantly threw a couple of parties to get to know the players.

As a person, probably one of the nicest people I've ever met.

Good luck, have a lovely season.

-She loves her football.

-Look, look, look!

But in February 2005, Delia surprised everyone

with a half-time rallying cry for the Norwich faithful.

I was out warming up at half time and, next thing you know,

I see Delia walking out onto the pitch.

I'm thinking, "This is a bit strange, I've never seen this before."

You're the best supporters in the world. We need a 12th man here.

Where are you?

Where are you?! Let's be having you!

Come on!

It's a passion, isn't it?

Sometimes you cannot control that passion inside you, it comes out.

We always think of Delia as being very sophisticated, you know,

a posh lady in a pinny.

It has a nice, strong, nutty flavour.

And then she goes all East End market on us, doesn't she?

Let's be having you!

It's a different language to the North East, that's for sure.

-But you knew where she was coming from.

-Where are you?!

And you just say, "No, somebody take her away!"

If she thinks that there's a chance that she might be able

to help out, in any way, during the match, she wanted to do it

and unfortunately, it just didn't quite work out on that day

and I haven't seen her on the pitch at half time since.

And that's all from me this week, bye-bye.

Shearer! Shearer!

Alan Shearer's probably the all-time Premier League's greatest centre-forward.

Alan is just a master of putting the ball in the back of the net.

-Which, in Geordie, means...

-He's the best thing since sliced bread.

-Exactly, Geordieman.

And, in April 2006, Premier League genius Shearer scored his 260th goal,

a Premier League record that still stands today.

That's over 70 more than Andy Cole, his nearest rival.

-He's the best thing since sliced bread.

-Thanks, Geordieman.

-He's the best thing since sliced bread.

-Aye, all right, Geordieman.

Shearer was deadly inside the box

and he once even managed to score from outside it.

But, unfortunately, with 260 of these, there were also 260 of these.

When it comes to celebrations, he was absolutely shocking.

He just put one hand up and he would run,

but he wouldn't even stretch the arm.

It was like a limp arm. We used to be like,

"Come on, man. Come on, Shearer!"

Left hand or right hand? Who knows? Sometimes, he'd mix it up.

He does a 40-yard screamer and goes like that.

I'm thinking, "How happy are you, Alan?"

Alan Shearer, arguably the greatest striker in the history of the Premier League,

with a celebration that could send an insomniac into a coma.

-Goal!

-WEAKLY:

-Celebration.

-Goal!

-WEAKLY:

-Celebration.

Goal! Can someone wake me up when he scores again?

A lot of people will tell you I'm a lot like Jose.

I interviewed him once for the Watford Gazette.

He's a real straight shooter.

I was just chatting about his favourite fruit,

he's a big fan of oranges nonetheless.

-What about you, Robbie?

-Tomatoes and pears fan myself.

Really? I had you down as a banana kind of guy.

We've seen the managerial greats, from Fergie to Brown.

But this next guy, our number three, is a bit special.

You can be arrogant when you're that good, and he is that good.

He's one of those people who says what he means and means what he says

and then has the ability to back it up.

When somebody phones up from Stamford Bridge

and says, "The new manager of Chelsea's here

"and he says he's the special one,"

you go, "Ooh, this bloke could be a bit good, couldn't he?" You know.

I'm not one of...of the bottle. I think I'm a special one.

# Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste. #

In the supermarket, you have eggs - class one, class two, class three.

And some are more expensive than others

and some give you better omelettes.

Interesting, Jose.

Not quite seagulls, but interesting all the same.

You know? Are in Waitrose and you cannot go there? You have a problem.

He did two amazing things, Jose Mourinho.

He made Chelsea even more hated than they were already

but he also made Chelsea cool.

He's just so cool, calm and collected. Plus my mum fancies him.

He is the sexiest football manager that I've ever seen.

Oh, and he was really good at managing teams.

Yeah, forgot about that bit.

# I am the one and only

# You can't take that away from me. #

Jose Mourinho has got big balls.

At one point - I think it was in February -

he predicted the day that Chelsea would win the League.

And on 30th April 2005, his ballsy prediction came true at Bolton.

Mourinho had indeed led Chelsea to their first title in 50 years.

Now, that's special.

COMMENTATOR: Frank Lampard, round the keeper,

into the back of the net.

Chelsea is the name on the Championship trophy.

For all intents and purposes,

he was the Muhammad Ali of football managers, you know.

He called what was going to happen and it happened.

COMMENTATOR: Jose Mourinho indulged

in another of those touchline dashes.

To sum up just how good this man was,

Chelsea recorded the most points ever, the most wins ever,

the most clean sheets ever

and the least goals conceded. Now, that is REALLY special.

COMMENTATOR: Jose Mourinho has shown the world

that he is indeed The Special One.

I've seen most managers and to my mind,

a lot of them are the emperor's new clothes.

This guy was the real deal.

Cantona must figure as one of the greatest United players of all time.

At Number Two is Le God.

The greatest player ever to grace the Premier League? Peut-etre.

It's obviously the buy of the century.

COMMENTATOR: Cantona...he's done it.

# God gave rock 'n' roll to you... #

Madman, genius? Very, very fine line. Cantona was exceptional.

He could do things... He'd try things that other people would dare not even think about trying.

Like talking drivel?

-When the seagulls...follow the trawler...

-We digress!

Cantona inspired Man United to four titles,

and the start of their Premier League dominance.

Would they have done it without him? Who knows?

But what we do know is that none of this would've happened

if one daft bloke back in 1992

hadn't made the mistake of a lifetime!

Eric Cantona is like the great lost love.

Before Man United even had a sniff,

Cantona went on trial to Trevor Francis's Sheffield Wednesday.

But what did you do, Trevor? What did you do?

I made a reasonable request which I felt was to ask him

to stay for this week in the hope the weather would improve,

then he could train on grass.

He rejected my request, and he's gone to Leeds.

It's a great move for him.

You turned down Eric the King, Trevor, you turned him down!

We had him. Francis had him. Played him in a friendly

and decided that we needed to see him play on grass.

Needed to see him play on grass?! The King, on grass?

I was like...

Still breaks my heart that he didn't turn out in a Wednesday shirt.

I don't know... It brings back bad memories to even talk about it, to be honest.

That could've been us.

-I wish him all the very best.

-Of course, Trev, of course.

It's not like you passed on an opportunity of a lifetime.

And I'm sure life wouldn't have been any different if you'd signed him.

We've seen the Europa League places and the Champions League places.

And now it's time for numero uno. That's what I mean. Number one.

The title-winning charge of this,

the Premier League's most amazing moments.

And, Robbie, you're not in it. Cheers, old son.

We knew it was going to Manchester, we didn't know which side, though.

It's the final game of the 2012 season.

If City win, they'll be crowned champion.

The league had gone back and forth all season

between the two Manchester rivals

and this was City's closest chance in 44 years to step out

of the shadows of their dominant neighbours and win the title.

'Here perhaps is how they mount an attack.'

At home to struggling QPR for what is a routine win, surely?

-'Oh, it's in! Unbelievable!

-And the tears are starting to flow.'

They're now 2-1 down against ten men, they're going to blow it,

they're going to throw it away.

Yes, against all odds and rational thinking, City are losing to QPR.

To make matters worse,

deadly rivals United were winning over at Sunderland.

If the score stayed like this, City will have handed the title

over to their hated neighbours on a silver platter.

It was going to have to be a two-goal swing

and City just were not at the races.

The 90 minutes was up and it was all slipping away.

With four minutes of injury time,

the title now seemed like a pipe dream.

Unless something extraordinary happened.

'He scores! Four minutes to save themselves! 2-2 in stoppage time!'

It was in a matter of minutes. It was nail-biting stuff.

'Howard Webb blows his whistle. But nobody knows what it means!

'What a season!

'It's finished and they still don't know if they've won it.'

It was all over at United.

If things stayed the same, United are Premier League champs again.

And City will have blown it.

'Manchester United's game is over. 2.5 minutes to play.

'This is all about the title now.'

The beautiful thing about football is at any moment it can change.

'Balotelli.

'Aguero!

'Staggering! Just staggering! The blue moon has risen!'

-Balotelli to Aguero!

-It was amazing.

-Just flabbergasted.

You just can't write those type of moments.

Within a couple of seconds, it had gone from doom to euphoria.

Everybody went mental.

'United's game was over - they've had it stolen back!'

'And the news is coming through, the title has gone,

'just as they were going to celebrate.'

Best end to a season ever.

'It's just the most extraordinary scenario you could have dreamt up!'

Suddenly, they knew they'd won it.

People that were starting to walk down the exits suddenly came flying back in.

'City are champions. It just does not get better than this.'

This will never be repeated again.

After 20 years, 7,846 Premier League matches, the most amazing

moment the Premier League has ever seen came in one extraordinary,

breathtaking and spectacular finale in the very heart of Manchester.

'The most thrilling Premier League finale of all time!'

And who knows what 2012-2013 will bring.

Anything can happen in the greatest league in the world.

MUSIC: "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd