Episode 3 Wales on Wheels

Caravans - a fibreglass palace or a bank holiday road menace.

Love them or hate them, in Wales we simply can't avoid them.

We spend almost 11 million nights

and £300 million a year holidaying in them.

But what is it about caravans

that makes us a nation happiest on wheels?

For years, the highlight of the caravanning calendar

has been The Caravan Club Welsh National Rally.

Organised by a different Welsh centre every year,

700 caravans from the seven centres across Wales meet in a field

to do battle for the Olympic Gold Medal of the caravanning world, the Inter-Centre Cup.

This year the National is to be held at Laleston, just outside Bridgend

as the honour of hosting has gone to the South Wales Centre.

And the organising starts months in advance.

It's a blustery Friday evening at the BP Social Club in Sully,

just outside Barry.

A small, but dedicated, bunch of adventurers

are arriving for their weekly rally.

Every weekend, come rain or shine,

this group of enthusiasts turn up with their caravans

and, well, practise caravanning.

Leading the organising committee for the National Rally is Chairman Vince Owen

who along with his wife, Liz,

will be responsible for the entertainment,

the ceremonies and all the competitive events of the Cup,

as well as making sure that all the rules and regulations of the Caravan Club are adhered to.

And rule and regulation Number One is?

Cos you're a Caravan Club, you've got a flag pole and flags which...

To cover us under the Caravan Club insurances and exemption licences,

you've actually got to fly...

It's a bit wet, it is, from last week.

As you can see, Caravan Club, South Wales.

Hmm. Isn't the standard supposed to set the standard?

I think we'd better get some new flags.

Luckily for Vince, the standard of volunteering

is in a different class to the flags.

He's got a committee of willing helpers,

determined to ensure everything goes smoothly

but that also they bring home the Inter-Centre Cup.

Annette Murphy and her husband, Steve, will be at the national

and this year, she will be field announcer.

So what sort of people join a caravan club?

I mean, we're from all over - the Rhondda, Caerphilly...

None of us would have met each other if we hadn't started rallying.

And we've got all different types of people that rally.

One of the guys is a chiropodist. We've got opticians, nurses,

we got all sorts, haven't we?

In the end, we've all got our fleeces and wellies

and we're all the same. Just have a bit of fun!

But the competitions at the National get competitive. Very competitive,

so a little game-head practice never goes amiss.

And for Eileen and Phil Barr of Pontypridd,

it's this sort of social fun

that has kept them members of the South Wales Centre for 37 years.

We've got so many friends, come Christmas time,

I'm writing 100 cards out, to people all round the country.

It costs us a mint for stamps.

Every year, Phil and Eileen attend The National

and each time, their preparation follows the same routine.

Any caravan cleaning secrets you'd like to share with us. Phil?

More or less every weekend, you get insects...

you know, just splatted on the front of the caravan.

The best time to clean them really is as soon as you get back.

They tend to sort of bake on if you leave them too long,

but you'd be surprised how dirty they get

and obviously they're not the best of colours to hide the dirt.

And Eileen what's your approach?

I like my van to always look nice.

You know I don't mind when people come in, it's used.

But once you come home, I like to put it all back.

Sometimes, we come home and it's full of mud.

You know, that's why I've taken my mats out and put old ones in.

So you know I do like to enjoy myself when I go away then.

You know I don't like to say. "Oh, watch my mats," like some people or don't leave you in.

I think it's home and that's what I like about it.

# March winds and April showers... #

Whilst their caravan valeting roles are defined,

this year for Phil, its different.

He's on the organising committee.

This year, in particular, what excites me

is that we will be going a week early on the working party.

I am helping this year in preparing the plans

for the layout of the caravans and the field,

so I will be there the week before.

It's something I enjoy, perhaps got a warped sense of humour,

maybe, but it is good.

Whilst the National Rally for Phil is about the joys of organisation,

for Eileen, it's all about the taking part.

She loves the competition.

Back in the day, netball was her thing.

Yeah, the National is great, really nice.

I look forward to it every year.

Meet friends, you know, socialise in the night.

Netball, tug-o-war, it's just nice, you know? It is nice.

The caravan club has given me and Phil and the family

a lot of interest and love.

Oh it's just lovely, it is. I love it, I love it.

Phil, if you've finished, we can have a cup of tea

and call it a day. All right?

So she's quite good at organising as well.

Back in Sully, the committee is struggling

to provide refreshments for 60 caravanners.

At the National, they'll have to cater for 700.

Why are the arrows pointing that way, then?

Just to take it on and off.

The one thing guaranteed to enrage caravanners

is the lack of a hot beverage.

Tea rage. This is serious.

How do you manage to run a rally when I'm not around?

And they're not the only ones with a problem.

Chairman Vince is suffering flag trauma.

The flag has come adrift,

so I'm just going to try and reset it in the wind.

The lack of kettle facilities has reached crisis point

but luckily, someone is on hand

whose knowledge goes back several generations.

As the head of a Tonyrefail caravanning dynasty,

Barry English is The Fixer.

I got to try and work my magic now

and try and get it into a creamy, nice, milky coffee.

Right. So we got some milk...

This is what we like, this is what we want.

Some coffee...

Anybody got a spoon, Bev, got a spoon?

Stir it, mix it together.

Ah, what could possibly go wrong?

That's not strong.

Oh, everything!

Strong!

Vince, how's the rest of the prep going for The National?

We've got to find the venue, organise the concerts,

get everything in place.

Hopefully all the bookings will come in to help us pay for it

because it is quite a big event

Ah, well, at least you got your flag up

and we're just hearing there's a development back at the coffee.

It's going down very well. Watch their faces.

It will be like nectar from the Gods.

Look at Mark over there now. He loves it! See the pleasure we give him for a cup of coffee?

And that's it...

So, in summary - bulk coffee making, check.

Quality flag raising, room for improvement.

Literally everything else you need to stage

a logistically complicated, multi-event caravan rally - to-do list.

With the Sully weekend over,

it's only got a matter of weeks until the National Rally. Good luck!

Safe as houses.

It's the day before the National.

And the past few weeks has seen the committee frantically

preparing to make sure the show will be up and running on time.

Vince is still hard at it...

and the strain of it all is beginning to show.

I am very stressed actually.

Still get late nights, can't sleep, off your food.

But as I say, over the weekend it should get a bit better,

and then on Monday night I can actually say, time to relax.

At midday on Friday, the gates open.

Caravans from the seven Welsh clubs

arrive at Upper Park Farm in Laleston near Bridgend,

ready for the biggest rally of the year.

And before long, the four fields are a sea of 700 caravans from all over Wales.

And finally, after a quick speech

at the Opening Ceremony, Vince will be on easy street... well, easy-field.

OK...easy-designated drive route set out by Phil.

On behalf of the members of the South Wales Centre Caravan Club,

I am delighted to extend a warm welcome...

'All our intention is to win that big cup.'

On my first time as chairman, I actually did pick that big cup up for the first time.

It's a good feeling, and I want to feel it again, especially for our centre members.

And the competitions are under way!

Netball, football, volleyball...

More netball, dog shows,

a...decorated car?

Best old man, Welsh girls, Smurfs...

and a small dog!

And entering this year's

"Cooking Scones in Your Caravan" competition, representing

South Wales and assisted by granddaughter Teagan, is Eileen Barr.

-You confident, Eileen?

-All the competitions now have started.

Netball, you name it, everything. This is where it gets serious.

I've never entered a cooking competition in 38 years I've been caravanning.

-My first time.

-Right...

It looks like loads of milk...

I'm not going to put all that in. No way. See how this goes in first.

Can I have a look at the recipe book?

Well, that's what it says,

but that can't be four ounces...

I don't know if this is going to be ruined now, look.

It can't be four ounces. Look at it.

Let's look at that again.

A quarter, not four ounces, a quarter.

That's a quarter there, innit?

And I went up there, I've done it wrong, boys.

I'll have to start again. Sorry! Start again!

Effort one - fail.

But, as the saying goes, "If at first you don't succeed..."

Eileen, you silly bugger.

"..insult yourself."

Maybe the South Wales Centre

will have more luck in the next competition -

the Decorated Car.

Leading the team is Dean Smith.

Unfortunately, we should have started this yesterday

but we were swept off our feet.

With only two other teams entering, this should be a banker.

Hopefully, if we haven't broken any rules and everything's gone to plan,

we might come out with a winning car.

Every year there is a theme,

and each team's design is always a highly guarded secret.

The kids made all the mushrooms, all the flowers.

Our mushroom is a parasol and one of the site bins,

along with a water barrel inside with about 50 litres of water in

to stop it blowing away.

So, any thoughts on what this year's theme is?

Yes, it's the South Wales Caravan Centre's Smurf-themed Magic Mushroom Mobile.

In he goes, Lewis Hamilton.

Not brilliantly dignified, but...

And that's how we do that.

It's showtime.

How you feeling, Dean?

I don't know what I'm up against.

I've heard West Wales have fielded something very impressive.

Yeah, you heard right.

Still, course, it's all subjective.

CHEERING

That was the judges.

And the chances are at least you won't come last.

The judges deliberate for a whole three minutes.

Have Dean and the kids done enough?

No.

But they have come second.

SOUNDS CAR HORN

I'll take second place, they were all good entrants.

Yeah, glad of one point.

Here we are, the man who does it all.

-That's not bad, is it?

-No, not bad at all, first attempt

Yeah, that's not bad at all.

-Yeah, very happy.

-I'm pleased for the kids.

Whilst the Decorated Car Challenge

may not be the most fiercely fought competition,

there's one that most certainly is.

The most hotly contested event at the National is the tug of war -

the event for the caravanner's man's man.

Pride is at stake, it's all or nothing.

And the South Wales Centre really want to win.

For a whole year, they've been training every Tuesday

towards taking the glory at the National.

This is serious stuff,

and, knowing the humiliation a loss will bring,

the team are pushed hard by head coach Russell Davies.

We've won it the last couple of years,

so the sides will all be out to get us.

They tend to measure themselves how they pull against us.

Our main competitors will be West Wales.

They'll be training hard now.

North Wales are coming up the ranks, they're improving every year.

'Left, push, left, push, left...'

There's always a bit of banter on the weekends when we see other sides,

how they're going to give us a hammering this year.

The stories go round how everybody's hardest training

and everybody gears up.

Nobody, nobody goes there to lose, we really want to win.

Quite confident we will win, but, like I said,

we've just got to do the hard training here.

It's all done here, and up there then enjoy it.

Well done, boys!

They've done all they can, so how will they fare on match day?

CHEERING AND SCREAMING

Badly.

The team are losing in Round One to arch-rivals West Wales.

And then, suddenly, their loss turns to controversy -

there's confusion as to whether the rope marker crossed the line properly.

ANNOUNCER: I have the judges' decision -

a no-pull.

The decision is that it's a no-pull,

so both teams will have to pull again.

But then controversy turns to protest, as West Wales,

unhappy with the decision, refuse to pull in the re-pull!

It's all kicked off!

..sort of.

They feel that they actually won in the end,

and they won't pull the final end.

Really speaking, they did win, but the ref's decision is final

and we turned out to pull the last end.

They refused to pull, so that meant we had 2-1.

Morally, I suppose they won, but we got the points.

Steady!

Pull!

South Wales go through by default.

West Wales's only chance of making the final now

is if they beat the team from North Wales...

..which they do.

There's a grudge match brewing.

It's more of an even competition this year between us.

It's just getting our heads together now for Monday

and hope for the best.

Back at Eileen's caravan, and the second attempt at Scone Quest has been more successful.

Time to get them out.

Oh, lovely looking.

Not bad, are they?

Bit of all sorts here.

That's a bit burnt, that is, but you know...

Rules state that the scones have to be presented on a white plate,

so it's select the beauties, add a little bit of caravan garnish...

There's that one there a bit small, but not too bad, these, are they?

..then it's off to be judged at the main marquee.

Oh, look at hers, better, yours is!

Oh dear, scone perfection.

Ah.

Right, I'm going to do it!

I hope!

For Barry English, a trip to the National

has been a part of his life for 25 years.

So, after being the main cause of the coffee debacle back in Sully,

has he learned his lesson?

I've got to put that finishing touch to it,

coffee and stuff like that.

You've just got to put that secret ingredient in.

Just tell them it's good although it tastes terrible.

Power of persuasion, they call it.

Clearly not.

But someone who wants to get by on more than bluff

is Barry's sister, Angela,

as she attempts to win the Caravan Reversing Competition for South Wales.

What's your realistic hopes, Angela?

I really would love to be able to crack this car and caravan reversing.

My best time at the moment is two minutes something.

I'd love to get that down to under a minute,

which is why I'm trying to work out some strategies

and tactics as to which way to turn when I come out of the garage.

And if I can imprint that in my mind tonight,

I'll think about it as I'm going, and instead of stopping,

looking where the caravan's going and adjusting,

if I can think, "Right, left hand down,

"right hand down, right hand down, left hand down and I'm in."

So, basic flour, salt and margarine.

There's no baking powder in there.

They shouldn't be like a big risen....

Back at the main marquee, the scone judging is underway,

and there are strict rules that, if broken,

will mean instant disqualification.

Sadly, Eileen is about to innocently stumble

into the alliterative scandal of 'Plate-gate'.

So anything like that plate,

they haven't been down to the marquee to get a plastic plate.

It's a disaster - out on a technicality.

Never mind what?

Who's the winner then?

I don't know, Phil. I don't know.

All the glitz and glamour of the scone-baking world

is about to crash down around Eileen's ears.

Number two, look at that, number one I am.

No, I haven't won.

Number 11 and number two.

Oh, I haven't won! Ohhhh!

And now Eileen wants to challenge the verdict.

-What's wrong, Eye?

-I haven't won, Pete!

-Why's that, love?

-I even put my little Welsh girl on it!

And it was on a china plate and not a paper plate.

-Nobody told me about this, Pete!

-I know, it's the first time...

-Up there, look at it!

-I know, disqualified, though.

-They weren't on these plates...

-Nobody told I needed them!

Next year you'll be able to win it, won't you?

No, people didn't tell me I've got to have a paper plate. It wasn't in the book.

-Well, it's been announced all weekend.

-Well, I've not heard it.

Paper plate!

Unlucky.

Good effort, though.

Thanks, Pete.

Right, off.

And Eileen's disappointment

marks the end of the first day of competition

and as the South Wales Centre settles down for a beer and a scone,

they can only hope they've got enough points in the bag

and that they're on their way to victory.

Good morning, ralliers.

This is the final day for all the competitions

so we'd just like to wish you good luck.

At the information tent, Field Announcer Annette

is charged with keeping a tally of the points scored so far.

..from the West Wales Centre for tomorrow.

This is the last day now, this is the final.

This is the time now when you've just got to

rack up your points to get the winner.

All I can say at the moment, it's between South and West, OK?

That's enough that I can tell you, for the moment.

-But it's not all showbiz.

-This is an announcement.

Please can we remind all ralliers

they need to empty their caravan toilet in the designated areas.

Thank you.

KLAXON SOUNDS

The first competition of the day - Caravan Reversing.

This is, at best, nearly impossible

and there were some early casualties.

Sadly, he went into the back of the garage so he was disqualified.

KLAXON SOUNDS

But some people struggle less than others.

KLAXON SOUNDS

APPLAUSE

A time of 15:47.

Yeah, pretty good, but you wait to see what Angela can do.

-CROWD:

-Go on, Angela! Woo!

Now remember, Ange. Left hand down, right hand down, right hand down,

left hand down...and you're in.

# Take it easy. #

That's it. Left hand do...

(YAWNS) left hand down, right hand down, le...

That's it. No, don't brake.

HE SIGHS

OK, start again.

Left hand... Ah, I'll just leave you to it.

Well, as you can see, I lost it as we came out of the garage.

Those tactics I did last night in the caravan

went completely out of the window.

It's totally different when you're thinking, "right hand down,

"left hand down...whoops! No, that's the wrong way."

But I managed to get out and turn it round and a few shunts and whatever.

Not my best, but hey, you enter for fun. So, well done.

I done all right to get it in cos there's a few that's hit the bollards there,

so I'm quite all right with that.

KLAXON SOUNDS

A total time of four day... four minutes, 37 seconds.

So that's the longest I've ever taken, I think.

But, no pressure, eh? Ha!

This weekend couldn't have been any busier for Vince,

but at last, the hard bit is over.

Actually now starting to get changed, ready for closing ceremony.

Where all the trophies, and medals, cups

for all the winners and runners up.

Get their plaques, trophies, medals

and hopefully we will get the big cup at the end of it.

After all the hard work everybody's put into it over the weekend,

it would really seal it to win it back and bring it home to mother.

But for Vince's dreams to become a reality,

there's a very important competition to get through.

At captain Russell's caravan, thoughts of the bitter rivalry

between South and West fill the air.

They were better than us last Saturday

but we've got to reverse it today.

Mentally...it's all level.

They think they've got the edge on us, they're going for the win,

they're going to go for it.

I think they're going to have shock.

It's do or die today now.

It certainly feels like that on the rope!

Having got himself psyched up,

it's time for Russ to inspire the boys.

We're going back to our proven method, all right?

We're going to go tight.

Right, we're not going to have this nonsense of "Ripping them out,

"we're going to do it as quick as we can."

That's not our style. We proved that, Saturday.

It's not our game, all right? Tight. Tight is our game.

Tight is right for us, all right?

For Russell and his tug-of-war team, it's time.

Time to prove their hard work has been worth it.

Time to prove they can beat their West Walian rivals.

Time to prove that tight is right.

CHEERING AND CHANTING

The first pull goes their way,

but that's only half the battle won.

With lungs bursting out of their chests

and a few bellies bursting out of their belts, it is again...time.

Can they do it?

CHEERING

Woo woo!

Yes!

South Wales Centre have won. It is their time.

Fantastic, wasn't it? I told you all about it!

Better attitude, a tighter rope.

Knowing that the opposition was there so we gave it all

and as you see, we took that 2-0 then.

The Olympics of the caravan world draws to an end

and it's time to award the prizes.

All weekend, old rivalries have been renewed.

But finally, it's time to announce the winner.

For Russ...

For Eileen and Phil...

For Annette...

For Angela...

For Vince...

this is the moment of truth.

Winners... South Wales!

CHEERING

They've done it. South Wales are the winners.

It's a chance for the region of caravanners

to bask in the glory of success.

I told you all about it, fantastic! It's been...

Honestly now, this is what caravanning is all about.

Seeing children, parents, you know,

getting together. It's nice.

I think so and I'm proud of myself.

Even if it's pulling the rope,

playing volley ball, playing netball.

Whatever the sports are, we all try our best.

But at the end of the day, win or lose, we get together

and we have a bit of fun.

Fantastic. I mean, what a result. I can't believe it's all over.

It's been a lot of preparation. We've pulled it off.

We've got so many, many friends in the centre and in other centres

and that to me means an awful lot because you know you've got people

around you that care and people that understand your love of caravanning.

I'm the proudest man in the centre. I feel 9ft tall.

Glad the weekend's been such a good success

and we've actually won the cup, which tops everything.

I would not give up caravanning for anything else in the world.

Really proud.

MAJESTIC HORN MUSIC PLAYS

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