Episode 11 Antiques Road Trip

It's the nation's favourite antiques experts, with £200 each...

I want something shiny.

..a classic car and a goal - to scour Britain for antiques.

-I like a rummage!

-I can't resist.

The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

Why do I always do this to myself?!

There'll be worthy winners...

-Give us a kiss!

-..and valiant losers.

-Come on, stick 'em up.

So will it be the high road to glory...?

-Onwards and upwards!

-..or the slow road to disaster?

Take me home!

This is Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

Today we're kicking off a shiny new road trip in the company of two

lovely freshfaced auctioneers.

Paul Laidlaw and Natasha Raskin.

Well, one's lovely anyway.

This is the start of our trip.

Oh, here we go, here we go.

Full of optimism. Do you feel lucky, punk?

I do. Are you talking to me!

You and I aren't the full shilling.

But to be fair, we look really normal.

That's the thing! That's the thing.

Sadly, though, we've developed something of a reputation.

You certainly have!

Auctioneer, Natasha, is an expert in contemporary art

and is filled with enthusiasm, bubbling...

How good is that!

..and really takes her shopping to heart.

I'm a bit terrified, because you're so good at this!

Oh, I feel like a lamb to the slaughter here, honestly.

Yes, antiques adversary, Paul, is an expert in militaria

and is a gentleman who really knows what he's talking about.

Fact!

Armed with £200 each, our pair are taking to the open road

in this classic convertible 1981 Mercedes.

So this is a bit of home turf for us.

It is! But we're heading south.

-I know.

-Big stylee.

Starting off in the west coast of Scotland,

our intrepid twosome will head across the border into England and

meander south and east, visiting auctions in Yorkshire,

Cambridgeshire and Suffolk.

And will wrap up their journey in Diss, Norfolk.

Their adventure begins today in the coastal town of Prestwick in

Ayrshire and they'll be heading for an auction in Hamilton,

south Lanarkshire.

Time for Natasha to get things underway.

OK, here we go.

Right. Oh!

-Have a good day.

-See you later!

-Bye!

She's kicking off today's shopping in Prestwick.

-Hi there.

-Hi there, how are you?

-I'm very well, thank you.

-Tasha. Nice to meet you. Lovely to meet you.

-Gary.

-Gary.

-Welcome to Nae-Sae-New.

-Thanks, Gary. Delighted to be here.

Right, Natasha, it's the start of a new trip.

There's money in your pocket, and the world is at your feet.

What takes your fancy, girl?

It's a carved wooden salmon.

-Oh, dear.

-It's particularly hideous.

It's awful. It needs a good wash.

And it's covered in cobwebs.

But, I don't know, I strangely like the salmon!

Do you know something, so do I.

But maybe there's something else.

Yes.

I love the fish, not going to deny I love the fish.

Well, who wouldn't, particularly with chips?

But a typewriter as good-looking as this is much more my speed.

These are so popular just now.

And what a beautiful piece.

Erika is the make.

And blow me down, it's not a QWERTY keyboard.

It's got umlauts and all sorts on it.

So this is a German make.

A German keyboard.

It's made its way over here somehow to Ayr.

And it's got its original case too.

I love it. And I just... I don't know why,

I just love the notion of portable things.

And right beside it...

I'm sure Gary has curated this shop perfectly on purpose,

because right beside it is...

..da-da-dah, a portable gramophone.

There's a record on it.

Are you ready for this?

Do we have a choice?

Well, here it comes. How good is that scratchy sound!

MUSIC PLAYS

How good is that!

Does that not appeal, does that not just stir your inner sort of grandad?

I absolutely love it.

SINGING

So this is lovely. It's Decca.

It's the name in gramophones.

It's got not much damage going on, a wee rip there,

nothing to worry about.

This is probably '40s, '50s.

The typewriter maybe a wee bit earlier, if we're lucky, '20s, '30s.

So together, they're portable, they're charming, I'm asking Gary.

-I can't resist.

-And she's off!

-Gary.

-Hello.

Oh, there you are. Let me ask you about these items.

-Yeah.

-I absolutely love them.

They're in nice condition, aren't they?

I mean, can you imagine me just jumping in to the car with Paul Laidlaw?

I could write him a love letter whilst he serenades me to the sound

-of Beautiful Dreamer! Can you see it? Can you see it?

-Yeah, yeah.

No, sorry, I can't see it.

What kind of price is it?

65, 85.

Really? Oh, Gary, that's terrifying.

It's not that bad. Is that not that bad?

I was thinking of combining the two.

Right.

Help me, Gary. Help me.

Best price on the record player, if I go for it on its own?

-55.

-55.

Best price if I go for the typewriter?

I'll do that for 30. That's 85 for the pair.

Oh, hold on a minute. Now we're going back to the pair?

Basically, it's buy one get one free.

-Oh, I don't know if I can handle it.

-Just to put a spanner in the works.

And if we just keep standing here, will the price keep going down?

No, I think that's it.

Nice try!

I'm going to keep looking, because this is my first shop,

-and I think I'm just getting a bit excited.

-No problem.

Gosh, you've given me so much to think about! You're a cruel man!

I'm terrified. Thank you.

We'll leave you to regain your composure, then,

and check in with your sparring partner.

Paul's made his way to Glasgow, where, in the East End of the city,

is Randall's Antiques.

There are lots of different stalls and dealers in here,

so plenty of different things about.

This should be interesting!

MUSIC PLAYS

What are those wee things there, wee dishes with the clips?

You tell me!

Is it a test?!

They come apart. There's three things there.

They look like dining accessories to me. Thoughts, Paul?

I'm having a little grape because, I say,

it's just the thing of an afternoon like this,

where does one put the pips?

Well, in polite society, one does not go...

Or... As I would, at the kids, back of the neck.

No, no, no. You have a little dish like that,

pop the little pips in the side of there.

Well, quite. One is silver while the other two are electroplate.

Time to talk cash, not pips.

-What do you want for the three of them?

-15.

There'll be a wee bit of wriggle room?

It's not a lot of money, a wee bit of wriggle room?

Can I offer you a tenner, or no?

12 quid.

12 quid does it.

-Cheers, man.

-Well done, Paul.

Three dishes, all for £12. And he's not done yet.

May I see the ink stamp? Thanks very much.

There's two there.

They are something to do with NATO.

That's what I saw in this one.

I got them in Northern Ireland.

The NATO, is it, commanding officer, COMNORLANT, is that something?

Yeah, that threw me.

Convex mirror, this is going to be challenging!

That says, COM-NOR-LANT.

It certainly does.

It's an abbreviation for the submarine commander of NATO and

dealers Anne and Andre are looking for £20 for each.

I'm going to make you a cheeky offer, and I don't mind you saying

"No, do you know what, if I wait a fortnight, I'll get my money."

I'd buy them at a tenner, but that's me out of the game.

-For both?

-Yeah.

-Oh.

-Say no, I don't mind that.

-It's your call.

-Go on, then.

-Seriously?

-Yeah.

-I'll take a punt at a tenner.

-There you go.

I don't think a fortune's going to be made,

but they're interesting things.

-Thank you.

-Top work, Paul.

And that's two NATO desk stamps for £10.

Now, are things still exciting back in Prestwick?

Here we go. If this is what I think it is, it's really cool.

OK.

Let me impress you with something really impressive.

Here we go.

Look at this.

It's got its original label, by the looks of it.

It's a Celfix Cine Screen.

And do you know what it has? That gorgeous 1950s font on that label.

It's almost like a government issue thing.

But to have that original label and to have what looks to be a screen in

such good condition, I can't believe my luck.

Ticket price says £45. Time for Gary.

Keeping in line with the sort of gramophone,

-typewriter style...

-Entertainment.

-How could I resist this?

-I love it.

-It's really cool.

-The quality of it.

And it is a quality thing, right?

It is. The screen's actually ground glass to give a better quality

-reflective picture.

-What would be your best price, Gary?

Are you ready for this? Mm-hm.

On all three.

I already said I'd do 85 for the typewriter and record player.

I would knock that down to 25 and that would be 110 for all three.

-110 for all three?

-Yeah.

-Gary, it's over half my budget.

But I'm in love with every single one of those items.

-Shall we do it?

-Yep.

-£110.

-Thank you very much.

-You're my new best friend!

-I hope you do so well.

-Let me give you some money.

That's £55 for the gramophone,

30 for the typewriter and 25 for the projector screen.

Nicely done!

-See you later.

-Take care.

-Bye-bye.

-Safe journey.

Paul is on his way to the coastal town of Irvine where he has a date

with the Scottish Maritime Museum.

He's here to discover the tale of Scottish nautical history's

forgotten icon, the puffer boat.

Curator, Abigail McIntyre, is on hand to tell all.

-Hello, Abigail.

-Hello, Paul, nice to meet you.

-Welcome to the Scottish Maritime Museum.

-Thank you.

The characteristic puffs of steam and distinctive sound rising from

the boat's funnel gave the puffers their name.

And they became a familiar sight.

A puffer is a small cargo vessel that was powered by steam.

It was one of the workhorses of the industry.

It would be carrying cargo along the Forth and Clyde Canal and

Crinan Canal and it also had the benefit of being able to go to the

islands and the Highlands of Scotland and the remote areas where

it would be able to discharge its essential cargo.

Scotland has almost 100 inhabited islands and the puffer's ability to

travel on both inland and coastal waterways made them a vital link.

One of the main features of a puffer boat is they had a very

shallow hull, so it was able to float into islands that didn't have a pier.

They could go in high tide, and as the tide receded,

they were able to settle onto the beach itself, discharge all their cargo,

wait for the tide to come back in when it would re-float and float out

and go on its journey.

Oh, that's amazing.

And you're out on the Isles,

you see that little puffs of smoke coming over the horizon,

this is your lifeline.

It's your fuel, your food, for all I know it might be your mail,

-I dare say.

-Yes.

These little boats could access locations that other vessels simply

wouldn't dare to reach.

And for over a century, puffers like Spartan,

on display here at the museum,

worked tirelessly to connect rural Scotland.

It's hard to imagine the work that was done on this vessel over all its working life.

Yes, it's had a very long working career and has seen many puffer crew

-come and go.

-Indeed.

And there wasn't a lot of room to manoeuvre,

so the crews had to get to know each other really quite well!

Puffers generally had a crew of four men.

Below deck, accommodation was cramped and basic.

There was little protection from the elements,

and life onboard was tough, physical work.

This is an image of two workers in the puffer.

You can see them hard at work there,

they've almost emptied the cargo hold.

And they all look very happy and cheery.

It might have something to do with the fact that they were often

involved with the carrying of whisky from the islands down to the mainland!

There are lots of stories of trying to beat the Customs and Excise men.

They would tap a little hole in the side of the whisky barrels,

drain just enough out of it to have a drink or two and maybe some for

later, possibly even some for trading.

And they would then put a small wooden plug back into the hole that

they'd drilled and then they would sand it down.

So once the cargo reached the other end, there would be no visible signs

of the little amount that they had taken for their own purposes.

As the puffers landed supplies on the islands,

they also took cargo that would ultimately mean their own decline.

They provided materials to build new roads and better piers,

allowing new opportunities to reach the islands.

The roll-on roll-off ferry,

the first one was introduced in 1966 to the Isle of Islay.

It revolutionised how cargo was carried in Scotland.

It meant that cargo could be loaded on to a lorry at one point,

it could then be driven onto the ferry and driven straight off at the

other end.

After years of decline,

the last of the puffers stopped their working life in the 1990s.

By then, these tireless workhorses had served the remotest of

Scotland's communities for over a century.

And their effort to keep that vital lifeline running made these little

boats the stuff of legend.

With Paul finding his sea legs,

Natasha has made a bid for some familiar ground.

She's journeyed north to Glasgow, where she's walking the leafy

surroundings of her hometown's West End.

When I was a student there was no better place to come.

I'm not a student, but I've got the same budget as a student, pretty much.

So hopefully they can sort me out!

Well, let's see what your £90 will buy you.

-Hi there, Steve. How are you?

-Hello there, how are you doing?

-Nice to see you. Are you well?

-Yes, fine. Yourself?

I'm good, but here's the dilemma.

I'm looking for stuff, sort of arts and crafts, Art Nouveau.

But I'm on a little bit of a budget.

Do you have anything that fits the bill, early 20th-century, gorgeous?

I don't know about gorgeous, but there are a couple of poker work frames.

-OK.

-They're arts and crafts. Early 20th century.

What you mean, you don't know about gorgeous!

They're lovely! Oh, I like these.

And what do you make of the quality?

Do you think these are maybe amateur lady's work?

I think so, I think it's good amateur, it's nice with the flowers.

And a lot of work involved heating a little bit of metal to

-make all these burn marks.

-I know.

-Nice shape, too.

It's such a lovely style.

Steve's got a ticket price of £60 on the pair.

I mean, I have to say, I like them.

They fit the bill. Thank you for pointing them out to me.

-What's the very best on them?

-The very best is 45.

-45.

-That's it, I'm not going to come any lower than that.

-No lower than 45?

-I think they're a nice pair.

These, for sure, will attract attention, won't they?

But I think I'm going to go with your gut.

You thought of these when I asked you.

I think they're lovely, I think I'm going to go for it!

-Good.

-What do you think?

-Go for it!

-Oh, you were going to say that, of course!

-Right, OK. I'm just going to shake your hand.

-Right.

I think you jolly well should!

With shopping for the day complete, time for a well earned rest,

don't you think?

Nighty night, then.

It's a new day and our pair are back on the road.

I say, "Tally Ho, off to the shop we go!"

Oh, well, I can't say that I'm disappointed that the roof's up

because it's much more hair friendly!

But what's going on with the weather, Paul?!

We know we're in Scotland now, don't we?!

-Absolutely!

-I mean, look how misty it is. It's like a soup!

Back in sunnier times, when the skies were clear,

Natasha grabbed herself an impressive four items.

A gramophone, the German typewriter, a projector screen,

and a pair of poker worked picture frames...

-Thank you very much.

-You're my new best friend!

I hope you do so well.

..leaving herself a mere £45 to spend today.

Paul, on the other hand, pocketed a pair of electroplate dishes,

a silver grape seed dish, and a pair of NATO desk stamps.

-As you do.

-I don't think a fortune's going to be made,

but they're interesting things.

Leaving him a princely £178 to spend.

Yesterday, successful for you?

I've not spent any money, I'll confess.

Oh, Paul. Do you recall, you said, "I spend all the money."

And I said, "I never do that. I'm too cautious."

I took your advice. I'm nearly spent up.

Oh, you're very easily manipulable, aren't you?

LAUGHTER

Blimey! With the competition heating up,

Natasha and Paul are headed for the town of Kilbarchan.

Once at the heart of Scotland's weaving industry,

our duelling twosome are hoping that Gardens Antiques will be just the

place for their vastly different budgets.

OK, here we go.

I don't care.

Look at this.

-Oh, my word.

-What's my memory doing to me? This place is massive!

I thought it was tiny!

-Hello, nice to see you. Tasha.

-It's nice to meet you. David.

-Hi.

-David, Paul.

-David.

-Hi, how are you doing?

-I'm all right, I'm all right.

-Good.

-Itching to get in amongst this!

Itching for the map, David! I feel I might need one!

It's a bit like that, there's a bit of ground to cover!

Are you going one way and I'm going the other?

-Well, clearly!

-All right, OK, well you go that way, then!

-Up the stairs with you!

-Be gone, peasant!

-See you later.

-See you later.

Right, you two. Off you go.

This shop smells fantastic!

If you like that sort of thing, I suppose.

There's so much stuff, and it's a double whammy.

I'm overwhelmed by the amount and I'm terrified of Paul's finesse.

He is petrifying.

I'd keep an eye on him if I were you.

-Natasha.

-Oh, don't!

What's wrong with you!

We're in a shop filled with antique stuff, you can't give me a fright!

Natasha, how are your nerves?

Right. Any chance of getting some shopping done?

Why isn't it easier? Why can't it just be really easy?

Where's the fun in that?

Maybe if this is silver, this would be a really cute thing.

Oh, I'm going to pray for a really low price.

Look at this. It's a little collector's spoon with a

curling stone terminal at the top.

Now I'm hoping... Yes, it is silver.

Edinburgh marks. Doesn't look terribly old.

You can see that from the style. It's probably what, 1970s, 1980s?

It could even be 1990s.

But it's such a cute thing.

It's a curling stone.

What's it got on it? £19.

It's got to be the one. It's about the only thing I can afford.

David, I wonder if I could chat to you about this wee spoon.

Yes. There certainly is a fair interest in curling,

particularly around this area.

-So what would the best price be on the spoon?

-It's going to be £16.

And £16 is the very death?

-Absolutely it is, yes.

-Absolutely is?

Well, in that case, I think I'm going to pay £16 for a spoon

with no case and it's a bit tarnished and no nothing and it's going to happen.

Well, tarnish is easily fixed.

-Tarnish is easily fixed.

-It is, yes.

Well, David, you had me at tarnish is easily fixed.

£16 seals Natasha's last purchase of the leg.

Well done.

How is it going?

I've got something. Which means that I've bought everything.

And I have spent almost every single penny of the money, Paul.

Good for you.

But that's what you told me to do.

Ever the encouraging mentor.

Come on, moneybags.

While Natasha heads for the hills,

you still have some serious shopping to do.

How ghastly is that?

Last time you saw something like that,

Rex or Rover had just finished his dinner.

Because that is a whopping great big lump of cow bone.

No more, no less.

I can actually tell you how old it is.

Because that is 100 years old.

It dates to the Great War.

I'll go further and I'll tell you who made it.

Or, rather, his country of origin.

Because he was German.

I can also tell you his plight.

He was a prisoner of war, because such artefacts, carved,

rather naively in cow or mutton bones,

were produced by German prisoners of war in captivity here in Blighty,

in Britain. Price tag says £38, so I think we're in safe-ish territory.

And, do you know what, I think I'm going to go buy it.

David, how are you doing?

Yes, well...

Hugely impressed.

-And I walk out with a piece of bone.

-Well, an attractive piece of bone.

-A good back story.

-Yes.

-A good back story.

They're not my cup of tea, but I get what's behind them.

-A bit of interest in them, yes.

-Yes.

-What can that be?

-£32.

-£32, it's sold.

-OK.

-Thank you very much.

That's a discount of £6 and another item in the old bag for Paul.

Well done. Meanwhile, now that Natasha has some silverware which

might be of interest to curling enthusiasts, she's hoping to learn

more about this ancient sport as she heads for the village of Mauchline.

This Ayrshire village boasts a proud curling history and Natasha is here

to meet third-generation stone maker Jimmy Wylie,

to hear about a sport that's been popular since the 15th century.

Way back in those days, curling would just take place,

obviously outdoors, in the winter time, when the rivers and lochs and ponds froze over.

In those days, it would be mostly people...

Well, most people would work on the land and in the winter time,

when everything was frozen, there wouldn't be much chance to work,

so they thought they would play.

Curling is regarded as one of the oldest team sports in the world,

and at its inception, any stones would have done.

Some would gather river stones that had been worn flat by the water,

and weavers were reported to have used the weights from their looms as

primitive stones, or loofs, as they were called.

Just ten miles off the Ayrshire coast is the island of Ailsa Craig.

When curling was first played, the island was inhabited and its

gravity used for homes and the castle.

The rock here is more densely packed than other forms of granite

and those qualities made it ideal for the rough-and-tumble of curling.

An industry sprang up to produce curling stones hewn from this unique

and very remarkable Ailsa Craig rock.

Well into the 19th century,

before any form of a sort of mechanisation was introduced,

probably the very late part of the 19th century,

this part of the world here in Ayrshire, there were three or four

different establishments who set up in business making curling stones.

-OK.

-But it wasn't really until after the Second World War,

well into the late 1940s and 1950s,

when indoor curling on artificially controlled ice really blossomed.

Another thing I'm curious about, Jimmy, is the name curling.

Can't quite get my head around where it comes from.

So please explain.

It comes from the fact that when the stone is travelling up the ice,

Natasha, it takes a path which is not a straight line.

A stone doesn't travel in a straight line, it travels in a curve,

either the outturn, which is going up the right-hand side of the ice rink,

or the in-turn, which goes up left-hand side of the rink.

So it's like the same as bias on bowls.

So that the stone goes up and it curls, it goes out and it curls back in.

But it's totally evenly weighted,

so the skill is with the curler then to get it to go in that direction?

The curler, in parts, the bias.

The bias is not in the stone as in bowls,

the bias is imparted by the player.

But I hear that it's also had other monikers in its time.

Yes, traditionally, it would be referred to as the roarin' game.

The roarin' - no G there, the roarin' game.

The roarin' game, yes.

And that was from the noise which the stone makes as it's travelling

along the ice. That's where the roar comes from.

Some people perhaps thought it was the players,

or the spectators that were roaring,

but it's actually the stones that do the roaring.

Time to hear the stones roar, then.

Natasha is hoping that her Scottish heritage extends to being a natural

curler. Luckily, she has an expert in Graham Adams from

the Royal Caledonian Curling Club to help her find her feet.

I'll try and teach you 40 years in an hour.

-40 years in one hour, let's do it.

-We grab the stone like that.

-OK.

-Right.

And just move forward slowly.

Oh, wait a minute, I've kind of lost my grip.

-I push myself off of this?

-You can come back a wee bit, first.

That's it. Push yourself off with the other foot.

That's not bad for starters.

-It's all right, isn't it?

-Yeah, well played.

-You can take me on soon.

-Take you on?

Do you want to do it now? Shall we have a competition?

-Right.

-Oh, let's.

Curling has been compared to bowls, but the crucial difference of

sliding large stones down 45 metres of ice seems to be making a difference to Natasha.

It's so hard!

Nice.

OK, I see what's happening here, I see what's happening.

Maybe a bit more practice required.

We'll leave you to it.

While Natasha finds her feet,

Paul has travelled 28 miles east with £146 in his pocket to Newhouse

for his final shopping stop of the leg.

He's got plenty of cash to spend at Greenside Antiques and he's not

-wasting any time.

-I think they're a pair of Chinese scales.

Curious little objects. They turn up now and again.

Little beam scale.

Dealer, Alan, has the keys.

These fellas here. That's the ones.

All the bits. Thank you very much.

Very good.

Once seen, never forgotten.

At this stage, what do we have here?

Ta-da.

The contents reveal themselves.

Here we have scales that are commonly referred to as opium scales.

Despite their name, they were used to weigh anything from precious

metal to medicinal powders.

This set consists of a beam of what would likely be made of ox or

buffalo bone, and a brass pan. But the set looks incomplete.

Yeah, I strongly suspect there must be a sliding element of fixed mass.

And I suspect it lives, or lived, in there.

But that's what you've got. Date-wise, they're going to be 19th century,

aren't they? How cheap could they be?

I think I had 50 on it, but, seeing as it's you, 25?

Can we just put that to one side is one to think about?

-Left for you. Yes.

-Interesting object.

That's a cracking 50% discount on offer.

But Paul's not done yet.

A pile of maps.

Not tedious old Ordnance Surveys, or road transport maps, oh, no.

How's about German Third Reich maps of Great Britain,

prepared for invasion or bombing use?

What do you reckon to that?

I reckon that same militaria shaped glint in Paul's eye.

Better get Alan in quick.

Right. So, what have we got?

Here we go.

HE SPEAKS GERMAN

Gesundheit.

"Nur fur den Dienstgebrauch."

"Not for distribution," I guess, "over England."

"Norsost-England." North-east England,

if my German's half good.

You know what the Germans did?

They got their hands on the AA Handbook to Britain

and reproduced it for Wehrmacht issue.

-Fact.

-Crafty.

Isn't that astonishing? Absolutely superb.

So, what they'll do is,

they'll commonly take British maps, reprint them,

but overprint them with strategically important information,

-and I think that's the purple stuff here.

-Factories, all that stuff.

South Wales, you've got a mixture.

So the carton says you've got north-east,

but you've got maps from all over, haven't you?

North Midlands. Why would you have a...

The Germans do not misplace their maps, but do you know who do?

Rifling British Tommys going, "Whoa, I'll have that

"Have you got London? I'll swap you for Edinburgh.

"Get it in a kit bag, get in the jeep, let's get out of here."

-And that's what's happened.

-At some point, yeah.

Grabbed in haste.

Manchester. Fantastic.

Tell me what they can be.

-Can they be cheap or not?

-60 - whole lot.

If I bought those and the Chinese scales,

at the moment we're looking at 60 and 25 - 85.

-Yes.

-What's the bulk discount price?

-HE CHUCKLES

-80?

-Looking upset.

-HE LAUGHS

-No...

-75.

-Deal.

-Yeah?

-Alan, you're a gentleman.

-Yeah.

-40, 60, 70, 75.

-Top work, Paul.

And just like that, shopping for this leg is complete.

Paul spent £55 for the German maps

and 20 for the Chinese scales,

which he adds to his silver grape seed dish

and the pair of electroplate dishes,

Nato desk stamps,

and a carved bone vase.

Natasha, on the other hand, has gathered up

a German-made typewriter,

a pair of poker work frames,

a silver spoon with curling stone terminal,

a mid-20th century projector screen, and a gramophone.

What a mixture.

But what do they think about each other's purchases?

I've bought the most typical stuff -

a record player, a typewriter -

and Laidlaw comes up with 11 original maps

and some sort of grape pip extravaganza.

Is this how it means to go on?

Because, if it is, I'm up a gum tree.

Oh, I don't know how to put this.

I'm worried about Natasha's purchases...

for Natasha.

Cheeky. HE LAUGHS

After a couple of days solid antiquing

on the West Coast of Scotland,

our couple are heading for an auction in Hamilton,

but Paul seems to have an unexpected passenger or two.

Notice anything superfluous to this exercise?

Answer me this. We're on our way to the auction

-and yet you're holding two of your lots.

-Yeah.

-What's going on?

Oh, Natasha, I've forgotten to stick two things in the auction!

Quick, foot down!

Not quite.

It's important to ensure that everything going for auction

is suitable for sale in the UK.

Just to be sure, this auction house has a blanket ban on all bone items.

So, while Paul's items are perfectly legal for sale,

he'll leave these for the next leg.

-So you're out.

-These...

-THEY LAUGH

Bye!

Actually, I'd be quite happy for you to do that. No problem.

I think there is money to be made in those wee beasts.

Well, there's still plenty of opportunities to make a profit today

at the packed sale room of L.S. Smellie and Sons.

Paul, here we are. Smellie's of Hamilton.

When we walk out of here,

are we in ascent, or are we in recovery mode?

I think it will be one of each

-and I think I know who'll be in each position.

-Oh, behave yourself.

-Come on.

-Let me go prove you right.

-PAUL LAUGHS

What does auctioneer James Henderson make of it all?

The silver curling spoon - nice, quite collectable.

Price-wise, though, commercially, I don't think a great deal.

I think you're talking round about the kind of £20 mark,

something like that, maybe 25.

The Second World War bomber maps, that's the item.

That's the thing that could be the wee sleeper today.

We think we could be onto a winner with that one today.

Paul's split his pip dishes into two lots,

meaning he spent £77 on four lots.

Natasha spent £171 and has five lots.

Time to get down to business.

-PAUL LAUGHS

-Aw, excellent. This is good.

Why did you get the big stool, by the way? What's all this about?

NATASHA LAUGHS

And the first lot of the day is Natasha's silver curling spoon.

Bid of £5. 6 now.

-And

-8. Ooh, ooh.

-10 now.

-Ooh.

12. At 12, 14.

At 16. at 16, 18.

-Yeah!

-At 18 bid.

Straight in the back at £18.

-At 18 bid, 18 bid, 18 bid, 18 bid.

-THEY LAUGH

All done at £18.

Just a small profit,

but it starts the day on a high note.

Hopefully a sign of things to come.

We've kicked off profitable.

-OK. I like your optimism.

-And it should be profits from now on.

-You reckon?

-I'm lying.

-All right!

Well, that didn't last long.

OK, Paul, these seed dishes don't pop up too often.

But, will the sale room like it?

£20.

10, then. £10, the seed dish.

-10, I'm bid. At £10...

-Look at you go.

I'm bid 10, 12 now.

At 12, at 14.

16. And 18.

At 18, bid 18.

At 18. 20. At 20, bid two.

-At £22. Five. At 25. Eight.

-It's very rare, isn't it?.

And 30 now. At 30. Bid two, and five.

At 35. Eight. At 38. 40.

At 40 bid. At 42.

Five now, at 45.

At 45. Eight. At 48.

At 48, 50.

At 50, bid. At 52, at 52.

At 52 bid, two bid, two bid, 52 bid. Two bid, five now.

At 55. And eight.

At 58, at 58 and eight, and eight.

58. All done at £58!

Look at that!

If my maths is right, that's over 750% profit.

Not a bad start, Mr Laidlaw.

-That was so good, that was so good!

-Wasn't it?

-Well done!

Right, profits all round to start with,

but will Natasha's gramophone be playing the same tune?

20, I'm bid at 20.

Five, now. 30.

Five.

-At £35...

-Oh, Phil. No, keep going!

-40 now.

-Yes! Yes.

-Now, is he begging?

-No, keep going!

At 40, bid 40, bid 40, bid 40.

-All done at £40!

-One more, one more!

Oh, well!

It was closed, but it ends with the first loss of the day.

-I've got to say, it made its money.

-It did, it did.

Natasha's loss means Paul has a chance to extend his lead

with the electroplated pip dishes.

£5, surely. A bid at 5.

6 now. At 6, at 6 I'm bid.

At 6, and 8. At 8, 10 now.

-It's climbing.

-At 10, I'm bid 10.

At 10, bid 10, bid 10, bid 10...

-Oh, no, come on!

-All done at £10!

-What?

-That's all right!

Another profit for Paul.

-You can't predict this game, can you?

-No.

-But it's all right!

-THEY LAUGH

And that's why it's so much fun!

Now, time for Natasha's German-made typewriter.

20, I'm bid at 20.

Two. And five. And eight.

30. Five. 40.

-What did I tell you?

-And five. And 50.

At 50 bid, at 50 on my right, here.

-Well done.

-How exciting.

-At 50. Bid five.

At 55. At 55.

And 60. Five.

-Oh!

-That's a rare typewriter!

-At 65.

How about 70 now. At 70.

-It's still going!

-At 70.

Bid 70, bid 70, bid 70, bid 70, bid 70.

All done at £70!

-Get in!

-THEY LAUGH

That had you shocked!

A great profit brings Natasha storming back into the game.

-Oh.

-Magic!

-I love it, I love it!

Hey, settle down!

Paul's Nato desk stamps are next up.

20 bid. At 20 bid...

I'd take that.

At 22. Five. And eight.

30. At 30, bid at the back now.

At 30. Fresh bidder at two. At 32.

Five. And eight. And 40.

-And two. And 45.

-Paul!

-Well, I'm happy at that.

-You were asking how's the market?

-God bless this man.

-Apparently it's all right!

-Yes!

At 48, at 48, 48...

All done, at £48!

-Wow! Well done!

-That's all right!

King of the understatement, eh?

Paul clocks up another impressive profit.

All those books you've been reading, Paul, it's all paying off!

THEY LAUGH

No friends, and I don't care!

We still love you, Paul.

The next big feature is Natasha's projector screen.

10 I'm bid. 10. At 10 I'm bid.

-Come on!

-At the back at £10. At 10.

12, 14, 16, 18, 20, two...

-And five.

-Bingo.

-Right, it's broken even.

-No, don't shake your head.

-At 25, at 25.

-Eight now.

-Ooh!

At 28, at... 30.

At 30 for the screen now.

At 30, at 30, at bid 30, bid 30.

At 30, bid two.

At 32. Surely more.

At £32. All done at £32!

-Bonus!

-Who knew?

-Total bonus.

-Who knew?

Hey, more B-movie than Blockbuster,

but a nice little profit, all the same.

Get into screens, buy every one you can get!

-Buy, buy, buy!

-Buy every one under £50, every single one!

Natasha is up again, this time it's the poker worked frames.

10, I'm bid. At 10 for the pair.

10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20,

two, five, eight, 30...

-Rising.

-I paid £45.

-Five, 40, five...

It's going up in fives, you're laughing.

-And 50. At 50 bid for the pair.

-A wee bit more, a wee bit more!

At 50, bid 50, bid 50, bid 50, bid 50, bid 50.

-Come on, one more.

-All done at £50.

Oh!

Yet another profit for Natasha, but will it be enough?

I think you could have done better with those.

-Oh.

-I think they were cheap.

-Actually, I was worried.

It is our final lot,

the auctioneer had high hopes for Paul's maps,

but what does the saleroom think?

£50, 50 for them.

50 for the maps, 50 I'm bid.

Five. 60.

Five. 70.

Five.

80. Five.

90. Five.

100.

And ten.

120.

130.

-Look at them fly!

-140.

150.

At 150, 160.

170 now.

180, at 180.

Fresh bidder at 185.

-At 185...

-Fresh bidder, good!

Five, five, 185. 190 now.

At 190. 195.

200.

At 205. At 205.

At 210, at 220. 230.

-240, 250...

-It's not funny!

At 260.

265. At 265.

270. At 270. Five if you like.

At 280, 280 all done.

At 280.

It's a direct hit!

It's certainly a strike on Natasha's hopes.

What a cracking profit!

That's it, well done, you were so good!

-Aye, likewise.

-Will you make any more money?

What do I know about typewriters! Come on.

Time to find out what that does to today's totals.

Natasha started the day with £200.

After auction costs, she made a dinky profit of £1.20,

nudging her total up to £201.20.

Paul also had a starting kitty of £200.

After a couple of big profits,

he made a whopping £247.72 after costs,

leaving him with a total of £447.72.

Well done, maestro!

-Oh, how good was that?

-How good?

All smiles at Smellies, can you say that?

Well, smiles for you, because you have made nearly £250!

-No jokes.

-HE LAUGHS

I've made a profit of £1.20!

-What?!

-SHE LAUGHS

-Wait a minute, how does that add up?!

-I don't know!

I don't even want to actually think about it!

£1.20, you're nearly at £450, and I'm back where we started!

Shall we not dwell on that?

Yes, shall we carry on?

-Shall we?

-I'll keep my chin up, Paul.

And find another auction as good as this!

I know, we'll be hard pushed.

Uh-huh. Cheerio!

Next time on the Antiques Road Trip,

it gets emotional in the search for antiques,

as Natasha falls head over heels for a new friend.

Look how cute he is!

While Paul is swept off his feet by the past.

There's history, is it not?