Greece Remotely Funny

IN GREEK:

Oh, sorry.

Just getting my head around a few crucial need-to-know phrases.

Welcome to Remotely Funny!

Hey, everyone. I'm Saara and this is Remotely Funny,

the show that has the power to go anywhere in the UK.

I'm coming in wirelessly,

hijacking your home and then offering you prizes.

It's basically an excuse for me to nose around your homes.

Which is even more exciting than normal

because there's a celebrity in the house!

DOORBELL RINGS Today, I'm in Greece.

But if I'm here,

where are my fearless Remotely Funny contestants today?

Let's meet them.

First up, it's Finley. Whoo!

Hello, Finley. Nice to meet you.

Finley lives near the beach in Cornwall.

He's 11 years old.

He likes sailing, looking after his five chickens

and mixing ketchup and mayonnaise together.

Mm, yum!

Well, you have a whole big family with you there.

Very nice to meet you guys.

-ALL:

-Hi!

I think you forgot the dog. Where's the dog?

Woof! Woof!

Oh, nice to meet you too, dog.

Finley, you're playing with your mum today.

Tell me whether you think she's going to be a good team-mate.

I reckon she's going to chat a lot.

What about your brother? He's going to help you out.

Why is he helping you out exactly?

Because I have an injured foot.

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm happy to hear you're healing, though.

It is time to meet Alice!

Finley and family, say hello to Alice and her gang.

-ALL:

-Hi!

-Hello, Alice!

12-year-old Alice lives in Gloucestershire.

She's obsessed with rock climbing, dislikes most veg

apart from cooked carrots and once made school uniforms

for all her stuffed toys.

-Who are you with today?

-I'm with my mum, Pip.

-Hi!

-Hello.

-And my cat, Elvis.

Oh, hello, Elvis.

Alice's mum, what do you do that embarrasses Alice?

-I normally opera sing...

-OK, can you give me a sample?

..on the Tube in London.

Would you like to hear a bit of opera?

I would love to hear your opera singing.

SHE SINGS OPERA

SAARA JOINS IN

Finley, can anyone else opera sing?

ALL SING OPERA

Alice's mum, I think you're doing it the best,

so congratulations on that.

Alice, talk me through how you climb up to bed at night.

-Well, behind me I've got like a home-made rock climbing wall.

-Oh!

Are you good at that?

-I'm all right at it. I go weekly, so...

-Nice, nice.

Finally, connecting to our last contestant...

Blue Peter's Radzi! Dung-dung!

-Hello!

-OTHERS:

-Hi!

-Nice to meet you, Radzi.

Radzi is from Wolverhampton.

Before he was a Blue Peter presenter,

Radzi had a job dressing up as a sports mascot called Spike The Lion.

As well as a skilled bobsleigher and karate champ,

he makes his mum a cup of tea every day before work.

-Who are you with today?

-I am in Wolverhampton with...

the best mum in the world, my mum.

Second only possibly to Alice's mum and her opera singing.

THEY LAUGH

Radzi's mum, tell us something about Radzi when he was a little boy.

As a baby he didn't sleep and now, at the drop of a hat,

-Radzi can sleep for England.

-That's true.

-Oh, wow.

Radzi, so you are a celebrity.

Tell us about the swimming pool in your house.

Or the bowling alley or the cinema. HE LAUGHS

There was a leak just outside, a water leak, and so as a result,

we'll call that a swimming pool.

You could turn anything into a swimming pool.

Enough of all this nicey nice.

This is a contest and only one of you can win.

It's time to ditch your families, banish your parents.

Go away, parents. Be gone.

Let me tell you about the mega prize up for grabs.

Firstly, the glory of being crowned a Remotely Funny champion.

And secondly, an epic Remotely Funny hoodie.

Look at it. It's actually amazing.

Radzi, seriously, forget the Blue Peter badge,

this is the ultimate TV prize.

And you can order yours today - by winning this game, of course.

Radzi, Alice, Finley, come on, show me your best game faces.

-Brrr-ahh! OTHERS:

-Ahhh!

Radzi, can I have a Blue Peter badge for my game face?

-One's coming your way.

-Yes!

Well, it is literally hotting up in here, so let's play.

OK, this is Bedroom Bonanza.

The rules are simple -

I name something and you have to collect it for me.

And the first one back with the item wins three of my precious samojis.

So, item number one.

Go get me a left shoe that isn't your own.

Go! A left shoe that is not yours.

Come on, guys. Come on, guys. First one back gets three samojis.

Finley, Alice... Oh, Alice, is that your own shoe?

-No, my mum's.

-OK.

Finley... Where's Radzi?

Radzi! Oh, and he's back.

Radzi, that's a right shoe. It had to be a left shoe.

I need a left shoe and it can't be your own.

Come on, shout for Radzi.

Radzi! Radzi! Radzi! Radzi! OTHERS JOIN IN

Bring it over.

-We've got it.

-There we go.

Radzi, good job.

Unfortunately, you were the last one back, so, Alice,

you get three samojis for that.

-Congratulations, Alice.

-Whoo!

I want everyone to take a sniff of that left shoe.

Tell me, what aroma are you getting?

-Rotten egg.

-Oh, just a Californian Saara, I'm smelling here.

Oh, I thought it was Grecian.

-You are a woman of many cultures.

-I am.

I am indeed. Thank you so much.

You will get one extra samoji for that.

-Thank you for paying attention. Congratulations.

-Yes!

OK, I want something that you would need on an expedition to the desert.

Go! Go! What would you take with you on an expedition to the desert?

Come on, Radzi, I count on you on this one. You would know.

Oh, and Alice is back.

-Money!

-OK, what is that?

-Money.

-Why would you need money in the desert?

-A £10 note.

Er, you could...eat it.

Er...hmm...

-Radzi, what are you doing?

-OK, OK...

OK.

I'm thinking practically here, because people think about

technology but they don't think about...

LAUGHTER

That indeed is practical.

Good thinking. Three samojis for practicality, Radzi.

And, Alice, three samojis for you cos you were back first.

Finley, you get an extra samoji

-because you were the only one to bring anything to eat.

-Yeah!

Remember, money isn't edible, peeps.

Item three, get me a present that you would give to your mum

if she won an Oscar. So...

Alice!

That is scarily on point.

Shower puff. That might be a little offensive to your mum, Radzi,

don't you think?

No, because I'd SHOWER her with gifts.

Oh! Oh, and he's back.

What is that exactly?

We'd give her flowers.

That is beautiful.

Just as a woman, I can really, you know... My heart warms.

So, Finley, thank you for this.

Alice, why exactly did you pick an Oscar statue to give to your mum,

who already got an Oscar?

-Because it has my name on it, so it would be like an Oscar of me.

-Sweet.

Good thinking, good thinking.

Radzi, I kind of like the wordplay there,

-so I'm going to give you an extra samoji.

-Oh, amazing!

Yeah. And, Finley, I'm going to have to give you three samojis

for the flower gift, because I think it is the sweetest.

Alice, you were first back, so you do get three samojis.

Let's see who snapped up the samojis.

Good stuff.

So, next we're moving to the kitchen,

so don't forget to wash your hands, you dirtbags.

It's time for Food Flash.

The contest has just begun and everything is still to play for

and it's anyone's game. Start moving! Start moving!

Radzi, give us a tour of your house as you go, please.

So I'm currently entering the room they call the kitchen.

Or as they say in France, la cuisine.

Oh, my gosh! We're in Radzi's mum's actual kitchen. I can't breathe.

So, back in Finland, where I am from,

we of course have many, many culinary delights.

For this game, I'm going to show you a Food Flash picture

of one of my favourite Finnish dishes

and you have 45 seconds to recreate it.

Samojis for the player who makes their dish look

as close to the picture as possible.

My favourite thing about Finland is the Finnish gravy, it's called...

I need it on everything. Show me you've got the bottle.

Hold it up and shout, "I love ruskeakastike."

-ALL:

-I love ruskeakastike.

Today's dish is called some-kind-of-freaky-cheese-kakku

and here it is.

Today our players are creating a dish

using a delicately prepacked tortilla

as a vehicle for whipped marshmallow mousse,

a skilfully-opened pack of onion rings

with a generous helping of processed peas,

all brought together with strawberry laces,

and never forgetting Finnish gravy.

Start cooking!

You are a top chef and shout orders at your mum, dad and brothers.

There we go, Alice's mum. Stir it up and lay it down on the plate.

OK, OK. Radzi, tell me what you're doing. How are you making this dish?

OK, so, time is really of the essence,

so we're taking the crisps and we're going to layer them

with great geometric precision, Saara.

By that I mean dump them on.

Ten seconds, Radzi.

-Ten seconds?

-Quick!

Don't fail me!

Three, two, one...

END OF ROUND BUZZER Stop cooking!

Show me the plates.

Finley, I see you went quite crazy with the whatever that

custardy thing is. RADZI LAUGHS

Where is the Finnish gravy?

Can you put some of that gravy onto that plate, please?

Radzi, did you put any of my Finnish gravy onto your dish?

Yeah, lots of it. Look, can you not see?

Can you not see all the gravy I've got on my...?

-Yeah, Radzi, don't cheat!

-What?!

Finley, what about yours? Can we see your dish?

You put a lot of that gravy onto there.

You know how much I love my Finnish gravy.

Let's put these delicious offerings to the taste test.

Bonus samojis for parents that try it and really enjoy it.

Alice's mum, I see you have a knife and fork culture there.

Mmm, delicious!

-Lovely!

-Radzi's mum...

-It's very nice!

RADZI LAUGHS

Everyone gets bonus samojis because everyone tried it.

Thank you so much.

And, Finley, you are going to get three samojis

because yours looked the most delicious. Congratulations.

Radzi, come closer, will you?

-For an extra samoji...

-Yes.

..how many times did your mum say you had cooked dinner for her

and what did you cook?

Wow! The last thing I cooked was...

er...a bacon sandwich.

I'm sorry, Radzi.

The answer was "only once" and it was steak and chips.

You got it wrong this time, no extra samoji for you.

You're a bad son, Radzi.

-I'm a bad man.

-Let's check in with the samojis.

Sweet samoji-winning, Alice, I am definitely impressed.

I need the bog. It is time to hit the bathroom for Toilet Takedown.

That's less rude than you think it is.

Two games down, three more to go.

Now, is everyone sitting comfortably?

Not too comfortably, mind.

Radzi, no, stop!

Nobody wants to think about celebrities having a poop.

OK, everyone, go get a pen.

Come on. We don't have all day.

This is a guesstimating round.

The closest to the actual answer gets the samojis.

And write your answers on the loo roll.

How many sheets of toilet paper are on the average roll?

Ten seconds, guys.

Three, two, one.

END OF ROUND KLAXON

-Come to the screen and hold up your answers for me.

-1,000.

The correct answer is 333.

So, Alice, you get another three samojis for this.

Girl, you are quite good at this.

-Radzi...

-Yes.

Which Blue Peter presenter do you think uses the most toilet roll -

you, Barney or Lindsey?

Definitely Barney.

I have been for a curry with Barney and I know he likes his curries,

and we know what happens the morning after a curry.

FART Let's talk about something else.

While you're on the throne, let's have a LooTube moment.

Check this out.

LAUGHTER Look at it, they're so cute!

OK, I'm going to ask you a question and the first to flush the loo

gets to answer. OK, you got that?

For three samojis, what material was the goats' trampoline made of?

TOILET FLUSHES

Finley, you flushed first.

Is it metal?

Yes! You get three samojis.

Good job, Finley. Good job!

Alice, can you come a little closer for me, please?

When I spoke to your mum earlier,

she told me that there was one particular person in the house

that spends the longest time in the bathroom.

For one extra samoji, who did she say?

Erm...my brother, George.

PING

You get an extra samoji for that.

Toilet Takedown over.

Alice can smell victory.

At least I think it's victory.

They're in a toilet, so we can't be sure.

Onwards, my brave Remotely Funny contenders, to the living room.

Let's play Remotely Funny Families.

Come on, guys, there's only two more samoji-winning chances.

Finley, Alice and Radzi,

I can see someone's joined you in the living room

and there is a reason for that.

Because I'm in the mood for dancing.

Alice, can you do an impression of your mum's dancing?

Oh, OK! Finley, can you do your dad's dance moves?

Whoop-whoop! Whoop-whoop! Whoop-whoop!

OTHERS JOIN IN

Quite simple but special. I like that.

I've given you a pedometer, but you won't just be given samojis

for the most energetic dancing, it's all about style.

So, parents, take a look at these crazy moves

and get ready for a spot of ping-pong Gangnam Style.

MUSIC: Gangnam Style by PSY

Oh, no, he didn't. LAUGHTER

# Wop, wop, wop, wop, wop-wop ping-pong style! #

Check your pedometers are turned on and set to zero.

-Zero!

-Zero?

OK, everyone, put the pedometers on your parents,

so we can be ready to bust some moves.

Dance your little hearts out.

MUSIC: Gangnam Style by PSY

OK, Alice's mum, I see you're going in.

Three, two, one...

Stop, stop, stop. Stop dancing.

Kids, what did you think about your parents' dancing?

It was hilarious!

Style for Alice's mum.

Whoo!

And embarrassment points for Radzi's mum.

RADZI'S MUM LAUGHS Good job, good job, good job.

OK, let's check those pedometers.

Let's see what the pedometers say.

Just before I show you this score,

the pedometer was that blown away it didn't know what to do, so...

That's, like, infinite.

Alice, you have 62.

Finley, you have the most steps on your pedometer,

so you're going to get three samojis for most steps.

Good job.

OK, Finley, let's have a little one-on-one moment here.

Come closer to the camera for me, please.

So, we asked your mum to tell us who spends the most time

singing in the shower.

For one extra samoji, who did she say?

Probably me.

No! That is the incorrect answer.

The correct answer would have been your brother, Morgan.

Well... OK, people, let's loop.

MUSIC: Gangnam Style by PSY

It's the samoji count up.

Which means Alice is in the lead.

OK, everyone, get rid of your parents.

Get everyone to leave the room. No help allowed.

Players, focus, it's the last chance to win big.

This game is called Say What You See Mojis.

Look at my samojis and tell me what they are meant to represent.

And first person to buzz in and answer correctly, wins.

Go and get a buzzer.

Grab anything you can find that makes a cool noise

that can be used as a buzzer.

I sure got mine. NOVELTY HORN

A classic.

Wonderful.

Our first Say What You See Moji is...

There's a celebration and a furry, cute thing together.

It might even be having a...

Oh, Radzi!

Party animal.

-Yes!

-Ohh!

You get three samojis for that.

You guys ready for the next one? It is a TV show.

OK.

Oh, Finley, what do you think it is?

Britain's Got Talent.

Yes!

Good job, Finley. Three samojis for you. The next one...

Sweet dreams.

Yes! Well done, Finley.

It's another three samojis for you. Great work. That's it.

Everyone hold your breath so I can reveal...

Today's Remotely Funny winner is Finley!

Whoo!

Congratulations, Finley. Congratulations.

I'm so excited for you. Whoo!

That's a Finnish celebration.

PLATE SMASHES That's a Greek celebration.

Well, I will be sending you a limited-edition

Remotely Funny hoodie.

Thank you!

Alice and Radzi, you don't go home empty-handed -

although you're already there -

cos we'll be sending you an exquisite Remotely Funny souvenir.

Get your families back in the room for me.

Alice's mum... Oh, and the cat, Elvis.

Radzi, where's your mum?

-My mum has been replaced by a Christmas teddy.

-Aww!

Now, I'll take that, I'll take that. I like that, that's sweet.

Big thanks to today's special guest, Blue Peter's Radzi.

And of course your families for letting me do my mess

all over your carpets.

You have been immense and it's been remote

and I like to think we've all been pretty funny.

Play the music.

Whoo-whoo! Everyone dance!

-Bye! ALL:

-Bye!