Episode 33 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS


Episode 33

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Transcript


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The bus is back, and ready to blow your hats off

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with a jaunty spree through some top-notch TV.

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Seatbelts on and we'll be gone because

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it's Whoops! I Missed The Bus, baby.

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There's impressions...

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DEEP VOICE: Riley, don't even worry about it.

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..Myles is feeling the magic...

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..pouring rats and boiling up a potion.

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..and we catch up with this bewitching bunch.

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ALL: From this day on you'll live as a frog!

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Did you know that the word vlog

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stands for "very large orange moggy"?

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Wait, what, I'm wrong? Oh, it means "video blog". Nice one!

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I wish it did stand for "very large orange moggy".

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The furry vlogger with cat-titude. Meow!

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But first, with his latest hilarious, entertaining

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and insightful opinions, it's Myles, the king of CBBC!

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The Worst Witch is only worst by name

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as it is actually the BEST witch.

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Best witch TV programme.

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And as it's a programme with witches, there will be magic,

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and the magic happens immediately with toast.

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Magical toast.

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Uh, it's not.

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Normal, people, regular non-magical, uh, toast.

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But there we go. There is magic.

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You just had to wait a few seconds after the toast,

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and then there was magic.

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Life isn't just about getting everything you want

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immediately...on toast.

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Yes, we did it! Woo-hoo!

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Witches has got a bit of a bad press.

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When I hear "witches", I imagine, "ha-ha-ha", cackly,

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sort of, "Ooh.." "Ergh..."

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Not sure what that was.

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They're young, enjoying life, they just want to learn,

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they want to get an education.

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They're not about all about pouring rats and boiling up a potion.

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That's a stereotype that's got out of hand.

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So those are our main witches, Maud and Mildred,

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flying on a stick, as is normal for a witch to do.

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But not all sticks fly, I've realised.

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Because if you have a smaller stick, that is not a broom,

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but that could be a wand.

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So there's different sticks for different...

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I think the length of the stick determines whether

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it has the ability of flight or not.

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What is a tree? Is a tree like an aeroplane?

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If you do try to use a stick to fly,

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it won't make you look like a witch or a wizard.

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It might make you look a bit silly, which is a risk I'm willing to take.

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Cos I think everyone loves the idea of being a witch or a wizard.

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You could magic so many things up, just make food appear from thin air.

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Why is it always thin air? You can have thick air as well.

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Boom! Just have food whenever you want!

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Why don't they just make food by magic?

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"A witch cannot live by magic alone."

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Witch's Code, rule number 93, paragraph six.

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I wish I'd never asked.

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Magical food has got no nutritional value.

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That's how hungry they get in the school -

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they're just licking random potions.

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That should surely be the first rule of magic school -

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don't be dipping and licking from random pots and cauldrons.

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However nice that cake is, no nutrients in that.

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Please just stop casually eating random potions.

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"I'll have a lick of that. "Oh, what's that."

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"Mm, a bit of random magical goo."

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"I haven't got a clue what that is."

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"That's lovely." "Have another lick."

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But at the heart of all this magic... Heart is on the other side.

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..when Mildred's mum finds out about all of this,

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it's a confusing thing to hear,

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that your child is, uh...she's a witch.

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St Joseph's is just down the road. They've got a big new computer lab.

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Yeah, but they haven't got magic. Or Maud.

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But how would you get here every day?

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There's no buses up the mountain.

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That is typical mum logic.

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"Mum, I'm literally magic. I don't even think...

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"There aren't buses. We have dragons, probably.

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"That's a guess, but we probably don't...

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"Don't raise your voice, please, in here, about dragons?"

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"Right, OK, I'm sorry. Can I just be a witch, please?"

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Can still be a witch! The Worst Witch.

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Not being mean... I'm not being rude there -

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that's just the name of the show.

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I award thee a golden broomstick. Well done, old bean.

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But now over to some of our smallest, most fantastic

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CBBC enthusiasts - it's the 15-second fans.

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My favourite show is Art Ninja

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because I love using my ninja skills. Hi-yah! Bye.

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Great vlogging. I like Blue Peter.

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I like Sam And Mark's Big Friday Wind-up.

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I like The Dumping Ground and I like So Awkward.

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Hi, Cel, I like you as well.

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I like Lauren, Karim. I like all of you...

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I love Katie. I love all your shows.

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I even love The Dengineers, so thank you for listening.

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Good job! Today I'm going to be telling you

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all about the shows that I like.

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Did I mention my name is Jaya?

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And also, my favourite show is The Dengineers

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cos Lauren is in it, and she's my BEST presenter.

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I also like The Next Step

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because it has got lots of dancing, dancing!

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Excellent work! Hi, Whoops! I Missed The Bus.

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My favourite shows are Operation Ouch

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and Horrible Histories,

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because they're both really educational

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and help me with my learning at school.

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And they're both really, really fun to watch. Bye!

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By Jove, what a fantastic flurry of fans you are.

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Why not join in the fun and send in your very own 15-second mini vlog

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through the Whoops! webpage

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and tell the whole world what you love about CBBC?!

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Now, students, prepare your wands

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to turn the telly reet up loud,

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because, boy, do we have an enchanting treat for you!

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Pippity, poppity, play!

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Welcome to a magical red carpet here at the Manchester Town Hall

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for the premiere of brand-new CBBC series The Worst Witch.

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I'm going to be getting all the goss

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and I'm going to be chatting to the cast members

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and hopefully a few witches, too.

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I'm just hoping they don't turn me into a frog.

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Frog-a-zam! SHE SCREAMS

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# Take a sip on my secret potion

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# I'll make you fall in love

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# For a spell that can't be broken... #

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Well, I'm here with Bella

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who plays the star of the show, Mildred Hubble.

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How are you doing? I'm good, thanks!

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Now, what's the best thing about playing Mildred?

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I just think it is great how she is just, she's clumsy,

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and it's like I am actually allowed to be clumsy for once,

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which is quite good.

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Are you clumsy in real-life? I am quite clumsy.

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I just had a cheese sandwich and spilt it all down me. Oh!

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This is where everyone wants to be cos this is where the catering is,

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the very witchy food has been put on today, so let's see what we've got.

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We've got garlic eyeballs with blood sauce dip.

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Oh, graveyard cakes.

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They look pretty nice, actually, don't they?

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What is your character, Maud, like?

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Maud is like... She's always really good in classes.

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She's always really well-behaved and she's always helping Mildred

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cos Mildred almost always messes up.

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Do you think witches exist in real life? Yeah.

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It's the same as oxygen -

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you can't see, but you know it is there.

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I want to know which one you preferred -

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playing the goodie or the baddie?

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This probably says more about me than it does about the show.

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I found it much easier to be the bad one.

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When I'm here with you girls, I just want to know,

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is there a really quick spell you can teach me now

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that I can take with me for the rest of the day?

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Yes.

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ALL: In pond, or lake, or swampy bog,

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from this day on you'll live as a frog!

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LAUGHTER

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This is the moment we've been waiting for!

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The screening of The Worst Witch is about to begin,

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and everybody is making their way in,

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so I am going to join them. Come on.

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THEY YELL

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Uh-oh!

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APPLAUSE

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What was your favourite bit?

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When she flew through the window into the dining room.

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That was so good, wasn't it?!

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When Miss Cackle's twin put a spell on the soup.

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When the characters fly.

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When they fly! You love it when they fly.

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Well, there you have it,

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the exclusive preview screening of The Worst Witch.

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I absolutely loved it.

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It made me laugh, kept me gripped on the edge of my seat,

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Mildred and Maud are absolute friendship goals - it was great.

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Right, where is my broomstick?

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Pieing people in the face?

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Racing around tricycles and singing this at Lauren Layfield?!

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# La-la-la, la-la-la Losers!

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# La-la-la, la-la-la Losers!

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# La-la-la, la-la-la Losers! #

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Woo! Couldn't think of a better way to start 2017.

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# La-la-la, la-la-la... #

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I have to be honest, though, whoopsters

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sometimes I really don't understand this show.

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HE GROWLS

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I mean, literally, I can't understand what you're saying.

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HE GROWLS

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And Mr Smash isn't the only one who doesn't speak clearly.

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"Heter Han"!

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Sorry, who?

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I think he said "Heter Han".

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Can nobody on this show communicate properly?

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There's only one sensible solution here - phone a friend.

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We've got this question, right?

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We're being asked about two brothers who, like,

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invented aeroplanes or something.

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The Wright brothers. Is correct!

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Psh, fancy just being able to phone a famous friend

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in your time of need.

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The most famous person I have in my phone is Laura

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from Whoops I Missed The Bus.

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Hey, Laur!

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Right, I need some advice from somebody famous to help

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Mr Smash with his communication skills. Any ideas?

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Wow, I'm flattered that you came to me when you wanted someone famous.

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Well, Myles is washing his teddy

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and Rhys was pointing at random things, so I...

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DISCONNECT TONE Wait, hello? Hello!

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Honestly, trying to solve the unsolvable is so exhausting.

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Like, give me a break! Somebody!

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Question...

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'School disco!'

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School disco!

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Yes! I love this part of the show.

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Well, I guess I couldn't fix Mr Smash's communication skills,

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but there is one thing I can fix.

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I'm sorry, Laura. Friends?

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Of course, Tee Cee.

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Phew! Works every time.

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It's the show that turns ordinary bedrooms into the most epic dens.

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You could almost say they engineer dens.

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Have I given too much away?

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You could almost call them The Dengineers.

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It's... It's The Dengineers.

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I'm Mark. And I'm Lauren. And this is The Dengineers.

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And this time, Joshua wants a DJ-themed den.

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CLUB MUSIC PLAYS

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If it was me, I'd go for a bit of pink somewhere, maybe a purple

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painting on the wall, some colourful lights,

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a comfy bed with a red cover and...

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Wait, I've just created my room, haven't I?

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So, Lauren and Mark, what have you got in store for Josh?

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What do you think about lighting?

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I'd rather it be something like this.

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Perfect. Oh, nice! Like lasers.

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Although, make sure it's not those lasers that you see in spy films.

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I tried to get that installed in the past

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and it made moving around, erm, tricky.

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But wait, is designer Olga doing something

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that Joshua's mum might not like?

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Let's do a hole in the ceiling.

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What?! What do you reckon?

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By having the podium up there with the hole in the ceiling,

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how's that sound? It'd be awesome.

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Awesome? Josh, have you forgotten what your mum said?

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The worst thing he could do would be putting some big hole in the roof.

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Well, let's hope this turns out well, because I can only imagine

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my mum's reaction if she came home to see a hole in the roof.

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Argh! But as day one comes to an end,

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the team aren't quite as far ahead as they'd like.

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It's OK, Lauren, I'm behind on this vlog too.

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I haven't even covered the new stairs, the decorating,

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and a visit to Radio 1. How cool is that?

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Do you want to press that button? Go, there.

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Yeah? And that'll actually go out on the radio.

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So come and put your finger over it now. Press it now.

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What, the red one?

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'BBC Radio 1.'

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Time for the big reveal, then.

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Go on, Dengineers, let's see Josh's new den.

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What do you reckon, Josh? This is amazing.

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This garage has been transformed into an amazing two-floor DJ den

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where Joshua can work on his skills and hang out

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with his friends and family.

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That den is unbelievable!

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I'd like to think that one day I can have a den like that,

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but you know what that means?

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No, not painting, building and making holes in my ceiling,

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all without my mum seeing it...

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No!

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..it means I've got to get working on my DJ skills.

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CLUB MUSIC PLAYS

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I mean, I don't actually know how to DJ,

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but I'm doing a good job at pretending, right?

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Throw your hands up in the air!

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Yo, yo, yo!

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Truly terrific stuff, old bean. Well done.

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But now it's time for you lot to show us some of YOUR skills.

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It's the latest instalment of...

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Riley, don't even worry about it.

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Guess Whom?

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Don't even worry about it. No, YOU don't even worry about it!

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That was James from The Next Step.

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I hate you, I hate you. Bog off.

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Why do you need me at the Dumping Ground all the time?

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Why do you drop me off all the time? So bog off!

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Guess Whom?

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Oh, why don't you all just bog off?

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I was...

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Tracy Beaker when she was young.

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Bye!

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What of James? Is he still in London?

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I don't know what to do.

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Guess Whom?

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Alfie and I feel like more than just friends.

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I'm totally confused right now.

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I was playing Riley from The Next Step.

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Do you want a scoop of the action?

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Just record your own short impression of

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a CBBC presenter or character, remembering to reveal who you were

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at the end, and send it to us through the Whoops web page.

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Guess Whom?

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Right, then, chaps, set yourself down and prepare for

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an explosive compilation of cracking clips from CBBC this week.

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Three, two, one...

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This challenge is what we call our virtual vertigo challenge.

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That means that you're going to have to walk across this plank

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400ft up between two buildings.

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OK, and there you are, OK? Argh!

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Look down, look down, look down.

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HE YELLS

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And now try and walk across that... No! No, no, no.

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No! Oh, oh, oh!

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It's too realistic.

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And it's absolutely terrifying when he takes a wrong step.

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Whoa!

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HE SCREAMS

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# Please tell us why you had to hide away for so long

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# So long Where did we go wrong?

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# Mr Blue Sky, please tell us why... #

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I really enjoyed it. I thought it was really exciting.

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I thought they were really good.

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They knew what they were doing, definitely.

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You don't really get many bands that have people signing in them,

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so, yeah, this is quite unique.

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Out of 10, I'd give it 11.

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It was amazing.

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I want to show you something with this popcorn.

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Watch.

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Eh?

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First time. Give it a try.

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Go on, have a throw.

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Oh!

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See, you're trying to get the popcorn to your mouth -

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that's wrong.

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Hold that for me.

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What you need to do is this.

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Stupid trick won't work. Miss Cackle! How have you done that?

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Not even going to work, is it? That's what witches do. What?

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You're all green, Hacks, and...

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Miss Cacky, you've turned me into a frog, Cacky!

0:14:490:14:52

And that's all we have time for.

0:14:520:14:53

But there's no need to weep, you can get yourself over

0:14:530:14:56

to the CBBC iPlayer to catch up with anything you missed.

0:14:560:14:58

Now, I'm off to a fancy dress party tonight. I'm the invisible man.

0:14:580:15:01

Hang on, driver! Oh, they can't see me!

0:15:010:15:04

I knew I should have gone as a banana, I'd have much more appeal.

0:15:040:15:08

All right, Cockers, I'm a little dog from Wigan.

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# Oh, yeah!

0:15:140:15:16

Can you guess who that was an impression of?

0:15:160:15:18

Yeah, you're right, it was Hacker T Dog, of course.

0:15:180:15:20

But can you do a brilliant impression

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of a CBBC character or presenter?

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Make it funny, make it silly - the sillier the better.

0:15:240:15:28

All you need to do is get to the CBBC website

0:15:280:15:30

to upload your 20-second clip.

0:15:300:15:32

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS