Episode 5 Gavin & Stacey

What if I can't have kids?

-Stacey said you've been trying, but HAVE you been trying?

-What?!

That's what I wondered!

-It's quality.

-BOTH:

-Not quantity.

Oh! Don't talk to her like I'm not here.

This is our son. Mine and hers.

-We're getting married on June 13th. It'll all change then.

-Will it?

I hope it works out, given me and her woke up in bed last time she came up here without you.

What?!

I'm afraid there IS a problem. It's you, Gavin.

You've got a low sperm count.

It will be OK, Gav.

PHONE RINGS

Hiya!

-Are you still asleep?

-'No.'

How come?

Well, I'm up. I've been the shop,

got a paper, some milk. It's a lush day, innit?

I know. It's bakin'.

And there's the Elvis convention. The island's going to be packed.

What you up to today, then?

Dunno - might pop down and see you later.

Aw, that'll be nice. Make sure you text before you come though, so I can take my break.

Hang on a minute. I think my parents just pulled up outside the house.

What, your parents? Your mum and dad? Pam and Mick?

-'Yeah!'

-Oh, my God. Maybe your nan's died.

Right. Which one? Cos they're both dead.

Are they? And mine are.

Aw. There's lush.

I'll call you back.

Yoo-hoo! Surprise!

-What you doin' here?

-Oh, that's a nice welcome(!)

-Hiya, mate.

-Hiya.

No, it's just... Well, it's just a surprise, that's all.

That's cos we wanted to surprise you!

Needless to say, this was your mother's idea.

It wasn't actually. It was Dawn and Pete's.

They saw the weather last night on Sky and said,

"It's going to be nice in Wales tomorrow, by all accounts.

"Let's spend the day on Barry Beach."

-Are they following you?

-No.

They had a row, 3am this morning. They're not speakin'.

-Dawn threw him out. He slept in the shed.

-Why?

-The ring.

-That bloody ring.

Mick? Pam? Gav? I'm up here!

-Hiya!

-Hello!

There I was, having a bath, when the phone goes. It's Glenda.

She says Gav's mum and dad have pulled up outside Gwen's.

I said, "Don't be daft, Glenda."

But, lo and behold, she was right! And there you are.

-Here we are!

-Here we are.

Wait there, I'll get dressed. I'm naked.

< Well, that's a fiver I owe Glenda!

-Hiya, Doris.

-All right, Dor?

She just emailed me and said it was you, and I said,

"I'll bet you five quid it isn't."

And here you are! She's made a twat of me, Pam.

I'll tell you something else. Gwen's in for a shock.

Glenda just text me!

She said you were here! Well, what a shock.

I know! It's a surprise!

-We fancied a day on the beach.

-Oh, that's the ticket.

That sounds lovely. Can we join you?

Gwen, we would love it.

We've got everything in the back - windbreaks, Lilos, surfboards...

It's a bodyboard. Are you comin', Doris?

I haven't been down the island for years.

-Well, all the more reason.

-Well, why not!

Doughnut, a bag of chips, I'm your girl. I'll have to dig out my bikini.

-PAM LAUGHS

-Jokin' I am, Gav.

A one-piece it is.

PAM LAUGHS

Oh! Sorry about that.

You were quick.

Oh, I'm only halfway through, Pam. I've not even talcumed yet.

Now, I hear we're going down the beach.

-How'd you hear that?

-Glenda. On Twitter.

She said she's seen Gav's mum and dad

talking to Gwen about going down the beach.

-You're coming, aren't you?

-I should cocoa!

But I'm thinkin' about little baby Neil the Baby.

-He'd love it down there.

-He would!

But what's the latest with Nessa and Dave?

We don't really know. We've not heard a peep.

Let me exfoliate. I'll pop down the van, see how the land lies.

GWEN: Well, come on in.

So... this is O...bama.

All right?

O...bama.

Not to be confused with...

O...sama.

Ah!

O...bama.

O...sama.

Very different people with very different ideas.

You fancy a rusk?

Me too.

All right?

-Yeah. I gotta get a new gas.

-We'll come with you, if you like.

-No, you're all right.

-Where to you goin'?

I dunno. Rylands? Lawsons?

They open bank holidays?

Shit. Yeah, probably not.

Well, we should last till tomorrow, shouldn't we?

You talkin' about the Calor Gas or our relationship?

Aw, Dave, man, come on!

-Why you being like this?

-Why am

-I

-being like this?

-You gotta to let it go.

-Why you sleepin' with another man?

I told you, I didn't sleep with him. Not like that.

-Positive, are you?

-No, I'm not, if truth be told. But what can I do?

I bought you that Aston Villa strip.

I know, and I loves it. You know I does.

I can't bear it, Ness, thinkin' of you and him together,

doin' things...

You know, doin' stuff that we do, the things that we do...

Look, I know we didn't do any of that stuff, OK?

But how do you know?

Cos I didn't have my bag. My tools. My cloak.

Anyway, he couldn't take that level of...

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Nessa? Dave? Neil?

It's Bryn.

We're in here, Bryn.

-DOOR OPENS

-Hello, you three!

Whew! Hot in here.

That better for you, Bryn?

Yes. Thank you.

Now, here's the thing.

Pam and Mick...Shipman

have just turned up on the doorstep, out of the blue,

and we've all decided to go the beach.

-Will you join us?

-Will Smithy be there?

Oh!

No. As far as I know, his name's not been mentioned.

I know things between the two of you are not exactly...well, peachy.

Look, you do what you like.

I gotta find me some gas.

We're nearly empty, aren't we, Ness?

Catch you later, Bryn.

Good...God!

The tension in here, Ness, it's unbearable!

-Is this what it's been like?

-Yeah, for weeks.

Well, I don't want to know the details - the ins, the outs...

That's the problem, Bryn. I can't remember if there were any.

MUSIC: "Colourful Life" by Cajun Dance Party

# I'd love to go to a brand new place but recognise the sky

# A brand new motion yet same old people... #

Hiya!

Hiya.

Aw!

You look so lush.

-What you mean?

-Just watchin' you then, from the kiosk, smilin'.

-It's been so long since I seen you proper smilin'.

-Oh, that's nice.

Hiya, Stace!

We're on the island. Can you believe it?

-First time!

-I know. What d'you think?

-I like it - a beautiful beach!

-Well, it's nice.

But I suppose that's cos the sun's shining.

I mean, I expect if it was raining or just a bit overcast,

it would be quite a bleak and depressing place.

A bit like Billericay, really.

Hiya, love. You going to come down on your break?

Definitely. Where? Down by the left or the right?

-Probably the middle.

-Yeah, it's nice there.

See you later. DORIS: See you down there, love.

See you later.

All right, Ness?

-Hiya. Where's Dave?

-What's occurrin'?

Stace, we're not mentioning Dave today.

Today is a David-free zone.

Is it still bad?

The atmosphere in that caravan

is what I can only describe as...

-Well, I can't describe it.

-So, Dave's not comin' then?

Oh, Gav, what happened to this Dave-free zone?

< Oh, Stace!

Sorry, Marco!

Come on! I got seven Elvises here, all gasping for a cappuccino.

-Right. I'll see you later.

-See ya. PHONE RINGS

All right, mate?

Gavelarindini! Guess where I am?

-Where?

-Guess.

-Where?

-'No, guess.'

Where?

-Guess.

-Upton Park.

Wrong! I'm in my car.

-Oh, yeah. Where you goin'?

-Guess.

Just tell me where you are!

OK, I've just crossed a big bridge.

I paid £5.40 for the privilege.

I'm currently coming off the M4, onto the A48, heading westbound,

straight towards the Isle of Barreee...

You're comin' here!

..where I know for a fact my best friend's wife's at work all day,

leaving him, AKA you, sat at home, watching YouPorn,

playing with what can only be described, after recent revelations, as his empty, useless gonads.

-Smithy!

-You gotta laugh at it. Gotta laugh adversity right in the face.

-I don't. That's really horrible!

-'Whoa!'

What about when Gary and Simon's uncle had his testicle removed

and he came in the Crown after his operation?

I don't remember you holding back. What was it?

-I don't know.

-What was the song that YOU made up?

The One-ball Of Wimbledon.

# Underground, overground

BOTH: # Wombling free

# The one-ball of Wimbledon Common are we. #

-I'll give you that.

-The irony is he's moved to Wimbledon.

-You're on your way here?

-We're going to go to the beach.

I want to be the first person to take my son and walk him on the sand.

The only problem is he's already on the beach. We all are.

Mum and Dad, everyone. It was a bit impromptu.

What? Is Dave there?

No, hang on. Bryn, is Dave comin'?

We don't know. He's gone to get gas.

He's gone to get gas.

Oh, well in that case, look, I'm not going to bother.

I...I'll just turn around.

-'It's probably for the best.'

-Yeah, probably.

No! Why's it for the best? I'm tryin' to see my son! Stop tryin' to stop me.

-I'm not!

-Don't then! I'll see you in a bit! Goodbye!

See ya.

-This is a beautiful beach!

-I'm glad you said that, Mick,

because we're very proud of our beaches in Barry. Aren't we, Gwen?

-Oh, yes. I prefer it to Porthcawl.

-Now, now.

The thing is, Mick, I've got a lot of happy memories of this beach.

Some of the best times of my childhood.

We used to come over for the day from Swansea.

-And see those rocks over there?

-Yeah.

Well, I'll never forget Trevor, my brother, God rest his soul,

and his friend, Ian Dixon - Dixie they called him, I don't know why -

I'll never forget them dangling me over the edge there,

one summer holidays,

by my ankles, swinging me back and forth, back and forth!

Oh, they were laughing away.

And if I hadn't held my hands out,

my face would've been bashing against those rocks...

Bryn, that's terrible!

No, it was just tomfoolery, Pam!

-Really?

-Yes.

The folly of youth.

And between you and me, I rather enjoyed having both arms in plaster.

Like this, I was...

"Hello. Hello. Hello."

-BRYN LAUGHS

-Happy days.

£5 he's askin'. For a bit of canvas on a wooden frame.

-That's a bit steep.

-You could buy one for that.

I told him to stick it, Pam. Comin' over here, takin' our jobs.

Where was he from, Poland?

No. Newport.

Mick, give Dor your foldy.

Yeah, all right. Here you go, Doris.

Thanks, Mick.

GAVIN: I'm going to get some drinks. What's everyone want?

Oh, just get a mixture.

Yeah, just a few cans of pop.

I'll have an Irn-Bru.

-What if they ain't got Irn-Bru?

-Go somewhere that has.

OK. Anyone else?

I'll have a tea, Gav. Or a Shandy Bass. Either's fine.

Should we get a little juice for Neil the Baby?

I mean, I know we've got some water but...

It's up to you, Gwen. But I'm not payin' for it.

-DORIS:

-Don't worry. I'll get these. Is that enough, Gav?

What? Well, it's only a few cans, but cheers, Dor.

No worries.

-Fake it is, Gav, that 20.

-What?

-I'm jokin'! Lighten up, man.

-Right.

# Da-da, da-daaa

# Da-da, da-daaa... #

-Give it a rest!

-PAM LAUGHS

< Oh. Mick.

You been workin' out?

-Nice frame.

-Cheers.

I do me best.

I bet you do.

Hey, Pam, I imagine you're a satisfied customer!

Doris!

I've got no complaints - put it that way.

BOTH LAUGH

I bet you haven't, you lucky bitch.

Hey, Mister. Let's get this on you - get you protected.

No, look, Bryn, you're all right. Pam'll do it. Won't you, Pam?

-Leave her be. She's relaxing.

-Honestly, Bryn...

Look, it's on my hands. What can I do?

OK.

Yes, sir. Can I help you?

I'd like some drinks, please, lots of cans, and a smooch,

a full smooch and a cuddle.

Aw, are you missin' me?

-I am actually, yeah.

-I'll be down in a bit now.

-Hey, guess what I was thinkin' this mornin'?

-What?

We should go on holiday. You know, just get away from it all.

-Yeah, maybe.

-I just think we're a bit preoccupied with everything...

You know, havin' babies, not havin' babies...

Maybe we just need to be on our own for a bit.

But this is nice, just us two.

-SMITHY:

-Gavlar! This is amazing!

There's a fair! Why have we never been here before?

-Ghost train, dodgems...

-Log flumes.

-Log flumes! We gotta go on 'em.

Where's Neil? Where's everyone?

-Down on the right, just after the steps.

-I'll see you down there.

-You want a drink?

-Yeah, I'll have an Irn-Bru.

-OK.

Really, Bryn, that should be fine now, seriously.

You can never be too careful, Mick!

Skin cancer is on the up, isn't it, Dor?

Apparently.

Hey, Smithy! Hey up, Smithy!

PAM: Hey!

There he is.

-All right, Doris? You beach-bound diva!

-Hiya, Smithy, love.

Look at you lot - sunnin' yourselves, livin' the dream.

-All right?

-Yeah. You?

Yeah, yeah, good. Where's my boy?

Hey! There he is!

Look! It's your daddy!

Hiya! Look at you!

Oh! What do you think of the beach, then, eh?

Yeah? You like it?

Look what I've got! Look at that!

You going to help me build a sandcastle?

Yeah? You want to build a sandcastle?

Is it all right or does he need a sleep or anything?

-He's fine. Go for it.

-Yeah?

Here you are, Gwen. Will you take him a minute? I'll just get this off.

I can't get it off!

-What you doin', wearin' that, anyway?

-I thought it'd be a laugh. But it's not comin' off.

I'm not surprised. How did you get it on? Isn't it a child's one?

No, it's 12 to 14.

THEY ALL LAUGH

You can't pull it over your tummy. Pull it over your bum.

-All right, Bryn!

-No, no. He doesn't want to go.

-Maybe you should deflate it.

-That's it. Where's the valve?

There isn't a valve. I can't find a valve.

-Smithy, what are you like?

-Mate, you're so funny!

I'm getting a bit claustrophobic, actually.

AIR HISSES

Cheers.

We'll build this sandcastle, shall we?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, this is lovely.

Lovely, lovely.

I can't remember the last time we spent a bank holiday on a beach.

Well, not in this country, anyway!

Sorry I took so long. Stacey's rushed off her feet.

It's a shame she's stuck up there workin' when we're all down here.

-She's got a break in a bit. Where's Bryn?

-I don't know. Where's he gone?

-Bloody hell, Bryn! You look like Daniel Craig!

-I know!

It's the shorts!

You're brave, goin' in there.

You look like you've frozen your bollocks off. Sorry, Gav.

It's all right once you're in there.

It's getting your shoulders under that's the worst part.

Right, so we've filled it up with sand, there,

and then we're going to turn it over...

Ready? And I'm going to lift this up.

-And underneath, there's going to be be a castle!

-Oh. Before we do,

I gotta warn you, Neil. Don't get your hopes up, all right?

Don't have any expectations, cos it might all crumble before you

and you'll be left with a big pile of sand before your eyes.

No, that's not going to happen if we give it the special tap.

You give it a special tap. Of course you do. Goes without sayin'.

All right, so, I'll give it a special tap, right?

One, two, three. And then Mummy gives it the special tap.

And then the three of us,

all together, all three of us give it a special tap. Ready?

One, two, three...

Look!

Ah!

You all right, mate?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.

-Go after him.

-What?

-Go and talk to him.

-What about? He's all right.

No, he's not. He's clearly upset about his...

You know, it might be better comin' from you.

No, I can't talk to him about man's things.

About...(sperm).

Well, I'm not going to talk to him about sperm!

(Why?) That's what the problem is, (sperm!)

Well, I'm his dad, and I don't want to.

Exactly! He is your sperm! He's made from your sperm.

Can we please stop sayin' the word "sperm"?

All right...essence, (whatever!)

-It's all right here, isn't it, eh?

-Yeah, it's nice.

I wouldn't mind wakin' up to this every morning.

Yeah.

It'll be all right, you know, all this.

It will. Cos it's not, like, out of the question...

You and Stacey to be able to...

-But it is, Dad.

-What?

-They've told you something different now?

-No, but it's not looking good.

-Right. Then, there's still a chance?

-A really small chance.

But you're mopin' around like it's all been decided.

Look at your Uncle. Remember Vinnie?

-The one with the...

-The internet thing, yeah.

Well, he... He was told he couldn't have kids.

-He's got four, hasn't he?

-Exactly! By three different women.

-He's not allowed to see them now, of course.

-Mm.

-The point is,

-they're not always right, the doctors.

-But they might be.

And if they are, then you look at the alternatives...

Sperm donors, adoption... You don't just give up on the whole thing.

I just feel like I've let everyone down, you know?

-Like who, for Christ's sake?

-You and Mum.

-Oh, don't be silly.

-I do. I know she's not sayin' anything,

but I saw how upset she was when I told her.

You and her, you'd make brilliant grandparents.

Come here!

One thing at a time, yeah?

There's just so many "what ifs", Dad.

Exactly. Nothing is decided.

And I'll tell you what...

however upset you think your mum is,

it's not going to do her image any good being called "Granny".

She's been 51 for the past five years!

GAV LAUGHS

MUSIC: "Echo Beach" by Martha and the Muffins

Hiya. All right?

Gav! I've finished!

Marco's gone home, Nino's come down. He said I can go!

-Gino didn't say anything?

-He wasn't bothered! Shall we go the fair?

Yes! I heard that. I'm coming.

-Bryn, you want to come?

-What, the fair?

Ho-ho, no chance. No way. Not on your nelly.

-Why not?

-Smithy, no self-respecting resident of Barry Island

would be seen dead at that fair.

-Why?

-Oh, don't start, Bryn.

Nobody died. You just won't go there cos of the ghost train.

That's got nothing to do with it, Gwen.

Trevor left him on there when they were little. Round and round he was goin'. Couldn't get out.

SMITHY LAUGHS

-Well, I'm going.

-Me too!

-Uncle Bryn can look after the stuff.

-I've changed my mind. I'm coming.

GAVIN: Oh! Oh, no! LAUGHTER

To the fair!

MUSIC: "Pencil Full of Lead" by Paolo Nutini

# Oh... I got a sheet for my bed and a pillow for my head

# I got a pencil full of lead and some water for my throat

# I got buttons for my coat and sails on my boat

# So much more than I needed before

# I got money in the meter and a two-bar heater

# Oh, and now it's gettin' hotter Oh, it's only gettin' sweeter

# I've got legs on my chairs and a head full of hair

# Pot and a pan and some shoes on my feet

# I've got a shelf full of books and most of my teeth

# Oh... I got a sheet for my bed and a pillow for my head

# I got a pencil full of lead and some water for my throat

# I got buttons for my coat and sails on my boat

# So much more than I needed before

# I got money in the meter and a two-bar heater

# Oh, and now it's gettin' hotter Oh, it's only gettin' sweeter

# I've got legs on my chairs and a head full of hair

# Pot and a pan and some shoes on my feet

# I've got a shelf full of books and most of my teeth

# Oh... #

It was just a shock, that's all. I didn't expect to see him there.

Don't start. I didn't know he was comin', all right?

Well, how do you think I felt,

turnin' up and seeing you two on the dodgems?

You know I loves the bumper cars.

Oh, don't make it sound like I was doin' somethin' wrong!

Like wakin' up in bed with someone you've fathered a child with?

I'd rather get in a dodgem with you any day!

-..Like I'm makin' a fuss of nothin'.

-Buying gas was more important...

-He's always turnin' up,

being loud and Cockney, doin' his robots!

-I gotta be civil to him. He's the mother of my... The father of my child.

-For God's sake, Ness.

-We're getting married in three weeks. When you going to start putting me first?

-Don't be a twat.

Sorry to disturb, but are you going to stay?

Cos we're having a barbecue, we are.

Well, it depends.

Look, I'm not going to say nothin', all right?

We're not going to kick off...

No, not you. It depends what type of barbecue it is.

-How d'you mean?

-Are we talking burgers and sausage in a long-life bun, or are you takin' it serious?

-I'm not sure what...

-I'm talkin' chicken breast, seafood, rib-eye steaks, spare ribs, lamb kebabs.

What about side orders? Potato salad, coleslaw. What you going to marinate?

-I think we can...

-You haven't thought this through.

I know we're getting the meat from Dic! Dic Powell.

Nawr, Bryn, mae na bopeth asenau, asenau pork, steacen, steacen a'r yr asgwrn...

sirloin a llygad yr asen... dim fillet dwy ddim cael fillet, breast cyw iar, kebabau

...a cig halal i gyd a sosej.

Ah, now, that's definitely "sausage".,

"Sosej" I know is "sausage". That's a given.

I think he also said something about steaks, prawns and possibly a kebab.

I know that. I can see what he's got in his box, Bryn.

I'm worried about where it's from.

It looks like it's fallen off the back of a lorry.

-BRYN LAUGHS

-No, Mick!

It's not fallen off the back of a lorry. It's been stolen!

Dic's brother, Ric, works in a slaughterhouse in Llanelli.

Isn't that right, Dic? I'm telling Mick about Ric!

-Yn union.

-Why you shouting at him?

It's the only way I can get through. Anyway,

Ric helps himself to a few little bits and bobs, then gives it to Dic.

He then sells them around the back alleys.

He's been doin' it for years. It's totally legit.

And the thing is it's incredible value.

These steaks are 87 pence!

Well, that is good. 87 pence for a steak?

No, not 87 pence each!

87 pence for three!

How's it goin' there, boys?

I love barbecues.

I mean, I just LOVE barbecues.

-I know.

-I mean, this...

This is one of the finest inventions since...ever.

I can't get enough of 'em. Got a stack at home, downstairs toilet. Take them to work with me sometimes.

The other day, in your mum's garden, fired one up - couple of sausages, bread, lovely.

When you're done, chuck it.

-Very environmentally friendly(!)

-Don't start.

-But it's not, is it?

-Right.

OK, well, let's all buy a Prius and have a shit in the woods.

Well, here's one you'll know.

DORIS STRUMS GUITAR

# And if a double-decker bus

# Crashes into us

# To die by your side

# Is such a heavenly way to die

# And if a ten-ton truck

# Kills the both of us

# To die by your side

# Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine

BOTH: # Oh, there is a light and it never goes out

IMITATING MORRISSEY: # There is a light and it never goes out

# There is a light and it never goes out... #

LAUGHTER

Is he all right?

He's out for the count. I'll keep an eye on him. Don't worry.

Right, everyone, I think these prawns are ready to roll!

-Doris, you stay there. I'll get yours.

-Aye, go on, then.

-Bit of everything?

-Yeah. What doesn't get eaten, stick in the bin.

-Are you warm enough? Cos I can go get a blanket.

-No, I'm fine, love.

Hey, I'll tell you what we need - one of those outdoor heaters.

-Have you seen those, Mick?

-Yeah, I have.

-They are phenomenal!

They keep you warm when you're outdoors!

Pete and Dawn have got one.

Yeah, table-top one.

Pete sticks it on when he sleeps in the shed.

LAUGHTER

I'll tell you where there's a good one - that O'Neill's in Loughton.

-But if you're right under it...

-It's too warm.

-Makes you sweat.

-Deano was under it all night.

He was outside, chainin' it, he actually got burnt on the back of his neck. Sunburn.

Had to put aftersun on. Aloe vera. SMITHY AND MICK: 'Ello, Vera!

-PHONE BEEPS

-I worry about that boy, you know.

We all do, Mick. But I tell you, that is the one, only,

singular good thing to come out of the smoking ban...

the advancement in outdoor heating.

This is all very mysterious, isn't it? Texting me?

I know. I just haven't seen you today. Not properly.

I fancied a little cwtch.

I had a good chat with Dad today.

-Did you? What'd he say?

-Oh, you know, just telling me not to worry.

Saying it'll be all right and that.

Well, he's right, isn't he?

I think what we should do is, we should set a date.

Say, the end of the year, and not do anything till then.

-How do you mean?

-Well, we'll keep tryin'.

And if nothing's happened by then,

then we'll just have to accept it ain't going to.

-And start lookin' into adoption and things?

-Yeah.

OK.

It's ever so sad, isn't it?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Dave's talking to Smithy.

I just wanted to clear the air about it, that's all.

-Yeah, whatever. It's fine.

-Just leave it now, OK?

You've said your piece. Let the man eat his food in peace.

-I'm just sayin', that's all.

-And I'm sayin' it's fine.

-Everythin' all right?

-Fine.

-Cos we're getting married...

-In three weeks. You said.

And I know that what happened meant nothing to her or to you...

BOTH: If anything did happen...

Let's just draw a line under the whole thing and move on.

-Shall we?

-Yeah. Can I eat my sausage now?

No hard feelings, yeah?

Well... I can't believe it.

-In three weeks, you're going to be married, eh, Ness?

-I know.

-I love a wedding, me.

-Me too!

I know. It's really lush.

And you should see Nessa's dress. It's absolutely mesmerising.

Don't tell me any details now. Don't want to jinx it.

-And Jason's coming over, Pam. I can't wait to see him.

-Oh, little gay Jase!

-Is he still all right to stay with you, Bryn?

-Yes, all sorted. The sofa's got his name on it.

Everything OK, now, is it, then,

with you and him and all that fishin' trip nonsense?

A toast!

To the happy couple.

Nessa and David.

-Nessa and Dave!

-ALL: Nessa and David!

# Tell me tomorrow I'll wait by the window for you

# I'll wait by your big house for you

# I'll wait by the squeeze-box for you. #

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