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-I might be pregnant. -Oh, my God. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:03 | |
-You done the test? -No, I'm gonna wait for Gav. | 0:00:03 | 0:00:06 | |
I can't believe I'm gonna be a mum. | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
Gav says you set a date for the wedding. | 0:00:08 | 0:00:10 | |
Yeah, June the 13th... | 0:00:10 | 0:00:11 | |
Going through with it, then? | 0:00:11 | 0:00:13 | |
Yeah. | 0:00:13 | 0:00:15 | |
Why? | 0:00:15 | 0:00:16 | |
I'll look after Neil, no worries. | 0:00:16 | 0:00:19 | |
SHE GIGGLES EXCITEDLY | 0:00:19 | 0:00:21 | |
Oh, nevermind, babes. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
Come on, it's only our first try. | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
I haven't been on the pill for over a year. | 0:00:29 | 0:00:31 | |
-You can't make decisions like that without talking to me. What's wrong with you? -Exactly! | 0:00:31 | 0:00:35 | |
What is wrong with me, Gav? | 0:00:35 | 0:00:37 | |
What if I can't have children? | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
Hiya. Right. I got the appointment. It's 10.30 Friday. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:50 | |
OK. | 0:00:50 | 0:00:52 | |
-We'll go straight from there to Essex. -Yeah, OK. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:55 | |
It's weird, isn't it? Dawn and Pete. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
-Do you think we'll ever renew our vows? -Dunno. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:01 | |
Oh, look, why are you still in a mood with me? I can't say sorry any more times. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:06 | |
I know. I'm not. I just feel a bit weird about it, that's all. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:09 | |
-What do you mean? -I dunno. Like, why you didn't tell me. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:13 | |
All those months you could've got pregnant and you didn't. And why didn't you? | 0:01:13 | 0:01:16 | |
That's why we're going the doctor's. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
I know. It's just been a bit of a shock, that's all. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
-I can't help it. -'Gav...' | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
If it turns out I can't have babies, you won't leave me, will you? | 0:01:24 | 0:01:29 | |
Don't be stupid. Nutter. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
I love you. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:34 | |
I love you, too. See you tonight. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
Yeah. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
I mean, it started off... it was meant to be intimate. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:48 | |
You know, just close family, couple of friends. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:50 | |
And then Pete's sister said she wanted to come. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
-Oh, God. -I know. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:54 | |
And of course it's not that I don't like her, | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
but if we invite her, we've got to invite him. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:59 | |
-The brother? -No, the husband. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
Brother? That's all blown over. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
Turns out it really was identity theft all along. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
Somebody had taken Pete's card. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
Thing is, though, Pammy, this whole day is now bigger than our original wedding. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:12 | |
And I said to Pete, "We are just renewing our vows. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
"We are not Louise and Jamie Redknapp." | 0:02:15 | 0:02:17 | |
I bet he didn't like that. How many is it now, then? | 0:02:17 | 0:02:20 | |
We're still waiting to hear back from people. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
But Pete just invites all sorts. I mean, for example, Bryn. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:26 | |
I know since Christmas, Pete and Bryn have become very close. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
They're always on Facebook and that. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
Bryn's always following him on Twitter. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:33 | |
But the thing is, Pammy, | 0:02:33 | 0:02:35 | |
if we ask Bryn, we have to ask Gwyn. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:38 | |
-Gwen. -Gwen. See? Don't even know her name. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
And then there's Nessa. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
If we invite Vanessa, we have to invite David. David Coaches... | 0:02:42 | 0:02:45 | |
Oh, I don't envy you, Dawn. All the organisation and whatnot. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
Still, it's gonna be a nice day. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
Pamelar! Dawn! | 0:02:50 | 0:02:52 | |
-Smithy, darling. -Hey, Smithy. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
Right. We got an hour. Get them clothes off and get upstairs. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:58 | |
I'm a plumber. I'm a builder. Let's do it like in the movies. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:00 | |
I don't know what films you've been watching! | 0:03:00 | 0:03:04 | |
Pam, I know Mick hasn't fulfilled your needs for many years. And Dawn, I'm not sure Pete ever has. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:09 | |
-SHE LAUGHS -So come on. | 0:03:09 | 0:03:10 | |
Here's our chance, you naughty little chaffinches! | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
Smithy, what are you like?! | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
I'm only dicking around. I come in for a biscuit. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
-Where's them Penguins? -Cupboard over the kettle. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
They need to know what you wanna eat Saturday. | 0:03:19 | 0:03:22 | |
-You looked at the menu? -Oh. What's the choices again? | 0:03:22 | 0:03:24 | |
Chargrilled chicken, veggie option, fillet of bream. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:28 | |
# Breams can come true | 0:03:31 | 0:03:34 | |
# Look at me, babe. I'm with you | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
# You know you got to have bream | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
# You know you just got to have that bream. # | 0:03:38 | 0:03:41 | |
Pam! That is comedy gold! | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
I don't know where that came from! | 0:03:45 | 0:03:47 | |
Listen, you. I've got to ask you a favour and it's serious. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
It's not that shower tray again, is it? I've sealed it four times. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:54 | |
-Just buy a new one. -No, it's not about that. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
My stepbrother, John, can't make it. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
-His wife's broken both feet. -Broke her ankles. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
So I was wondering how you'd feel about giving me away. | 0:04:00 | 0:04:04 | |
What? | 0:04:05 | 0:04:06 | |
Don't have to. Theoretically, I don't need anyone. It's just a renewal. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:10 | |
But I think it'd be nice and I'd like it if you did. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:13 | |
HE CHOKES UP | 0:04:14 | 0:04:15 | |
I'd love to, Dawn. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:19 | |
Cor! Look at my baby girl. She's all grown up! | 0:04:24 | 0:04:28 | |
Oh. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:30 | |
Aw, sweetheart. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
-A whole year? -Yeah. | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
-You been trying for the whole year? -Yeah. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
-Why? -Cos I really want a baby! | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
And I just thought if I got pregnant, | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
then Gav would definitely want to get a house, | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
even if it was just renting somewhere. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:46 | |
-So you planned it all? -Well, not exactly. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:47 | |
Nothing happened, did it? | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
That's very manipulative, Stace. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:50 | |
Oh, shut up! You sound like Gav. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
-Well, he's got a point. -Ness! | 0:04:52 | 0:04:54 | |
And you've gone down in my estimation. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
But what if I can't have kids? What if I'm like Karen down the road? | 0:04:56 | 0:04:59 | |
-Barren Karen? -Yeah. What if I'm like her? | 0:04:59 | 0:05:02 | |
Well, that's the hand that life has dealt you. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:04 | |
-Maybe you need to think about getting one of them Chinese ones. -Like Angelina Jolie? | 0:05:04 | 0:05:08 | |
Honestly, they're giving them away. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:10 | |
It's not the same, though, is it? | 0:05:10 | 0:05:12 | |
Strikes me you're not in a position to be fussy. Pass me the ball. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
-No, it's OK. -Come on. I'll do you a reading. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:18 | |
-All right. But I'm not paying. -Shhh. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
-Is this actually crystal? -No. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:26 | |
It's a paperweight. But what can you do? | 0:05:26 | 0:05:29 | |
Times are hard, and there's a credit crunch on. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
Om om shabai. Om om shabai. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:46 | |
Om om puri. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:49 | |
Omid Djalili. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
-It's not looking good, Stace. -Why? What can you see? What's it saying? | 0:05:54 | 0:05:58 | |
I don't know. It's bad news, whatever it is. | 0:05:58 | 0:06:01 | |
-I can't be specific. But I should imagine you can't have kids. -Really? | 0:06:01 | 0:06:05 | |
All right, sugar tits? | 0:06:05 | 0:06:06 | |
Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were having a reading. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
That's all right. We're done. It was only a quickie. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:12 | |
-Well, how long? -15, 20 minutes. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:14 | |
It wasn't that long. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:15 | |
Fair enough. We'll call it a fiver and be done. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:17 | |
I didn't even want a reading. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:19 | |
In her defence, she did make it clear she wasn't paying. | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
Oh, come on, Ness. We've got a business to run here. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
This wedding's costing a fortune. I've been pricing up the cake. Do we really need one? | 0:06:24 | 0:06:28 | |
You can't get married without cutting a cake. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:30 | |
I can take it or leave it, to be honest. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:32 | |
Yeah, me too. They're having jelly. Let them make do with that. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:35 | |
-Exactly. -I love weddings. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
I've never been to a renewal before, so that'll be fun. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:40 | |
Ah, I could do without it, to be honest. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:41 | |
I don't really understand why they've invited me. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:44 | |
I know, Mum said the same. | 0:06:44 | 0:06:45 | |
She said she could see why Bryn was going, cos of Pete, | 0:06:45 | 0:06:47 | |
but Mum's hardly said two words to them. | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
KNOCK AT DOOR | 0:06:49 | 0:06:51 | |
-All right? -Yeah, all right. Be with you now. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:58 | |
-Come on, Ness, we've got to get on. There's a queue forming. -Right. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:01 | |
Stace, I'll see you Saturday up Essex. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:03 | |
OK. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:04 | |
Bring 'em on, Dave. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:08 | |
Nice sheets, these, Gwen. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:12 | |
I know. Dic Powell. | 0:07:12 | 0:07:13 | |
He just knocked on the door. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
I mean, normally I send him away packing, but he made me feel them. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
And the minute I did, I said, | 0:07:18 | 0:07:19 | |
"I don't know where they came from or where you got them, | 0:07:19 | 0:07:22 | |
"but I'll take two sets - one for me, one for the kids." | 0:07:22 | 0:07:24 | |
-GAVIN: -Hello, Gwen? | 0:07:24 | 0:07:26 | |
-Hiya, were up here. -In the bedroom. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:27 | |
-GAVIN: -OK. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:28 | |
It's always a risk with Dic, but sometimes he comes up trumps. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
-Like Nessa's lawnmower. -Like the lawnmower. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:33 | |
Hiya. Came back for some lunch. All right, Bryn? | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
Look, you don't need to do that... | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
Gavin, what else am I going to do? I'm kicking my heels in that house. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:40 | |
Rattling around like a bubble in a can. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
He's at a loss since the boys went. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:44 | |
I am. I miss them. That place has felt empty the past couple of weeks. | 0:07:44 | 0:07:48 | |
-Great night, though, wasn't it? -Yeah, it was. | 0:07:48 | 0:07:50 | |
I was mullered. Plastered I was, Gwen. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:53 | |
I know. Reminded me of Trevor. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
I can't wait for the next one. Budgie said something about Reading? | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
Did he? | 0:07:58 | 0:07:59 | |
A night out in Reading, Budgie's brother or something? | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
-Who, Magpie? -Yes! He's DJ-ing. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
Whatever it is, count me in. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
Right. Look, I'm gonna get something to eat. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:09 | |
Stacey said you got your appointment sorted with the doctor. | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
Did she? What, she told you? | 0:08:11 | 0:08:13 | |
Yes. And for what it's worth, I think it's all going to be fine. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:17 | |
That's what I said, Gav. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:18 | |
Oh, right. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:19 | |
I mean, I know Stacey said you'd been trying, | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
but have you actually been trying? | 0:08:21 | 0:08:22 | |
-What? -Well, that's what I wondered. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
I know you've been gunning it since you've been living back here, | 0:08:24 | 0:08:27 | |
but what about all that time in Essex? | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
They were regular at Pam and Mick's. Stacey said, course she did. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:32 | |
But would you say you were relaxed whilst you were doing it | 0:08:32 | 0:08:35 | |
or do you feel you're under pressure? Because - | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
and I know Gwen will back me up - it's quality... | 0:08:37 | 0:08:40 | |
-Not quantity. -..not quantity... | 0:08:40 | 0:08:42 | |
Bryn, this is... I don't really feel comfortable talking about this. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:45 | |
I'm just gonna get a sandwich and go back to work | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
and forget this conversation | 0:08:47 | 0:08:48 | |
about sex with your daughter and your niece ever happened. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:52 | |
Well, he's clearly very stressed, Gwen. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:55 | |
I know. And that's not gonna do them any favours. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:59 | |
We'll try Marks first. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
No, I'm not getting a suit from there. I wanna go Next or Topman or something. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:05 | |
Neil, with respect, designer labels like them will not carry your size. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
Mum! | 0:09:08 | 0:09:09 | |
I might be carrying a bit of timber, | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
but I'm not, you know, Robbie Coltrane. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
You are heading that way, my love. Now, where's your sister? | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
What? Rudi's coming? | 0:09:17 | 0:09:19 | |
Yeah. I want another pair of eyes on it. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:20 | |
I'm 28. I'm a dad. I've fathered a child. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:23 | |
-Don't be coarse, Neil. -I can do it on my own, that's all. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:26 | |
I just need you to lend me the money. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:27 | |
I'm happy to buy you the suit. I'm glad you're getting it. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:31 | |
-I'm proud of you. -That's a first. | 0:09:31 | 0:09:32 | |
Oh, here she is. Ruth! | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
All right? | 0:09:37 | 0:09:38 | |
-Are those Heelys? -Yeah. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
-How old are you? -How old am I? | 0:09:41 | 0:09:42 | |
You're buying clothes with your mum. How old are you? | 0:09:42 | 0:09:44 | |
-Dick. -Douche. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:46 | |
Will you please just give it a rest, the two of you? | 0:09:46 | 0:09:49 | |
I'm at the point of exhaustion. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:51 | |
My resources are almost entirely depleted. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
If you persist I shall simply go home. | 0:09:53 | 0:09:54 | |
Good! That's absolutely fine. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
I don't need you here. Or you. I didn't ask either of you to come. | 0:09:57 | 0:09:59 | |
I can buy a suit on my own, you know. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:10:06 | 0:10:07 | |
Oh, now, that does look nice. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
-You look really stupid. -I feel it. | 0:10:10 | 0:10:12 | |
-You look an absolute tool. -Mum, will you tell her? | 0:10:12 | 0:10:15 | |
-You do. -Ruth. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:16 | |
Look like one of the Blues Brothers. The dead one. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:19 | |
Right, one more comment. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:20 | |
Make one more comment about me in this suit - | 0:10:20 | 0:10:23 | |
or, in fact, just about me - | 0:10:23 | 0:10:24 | |
and I will take off those Heelys... | 0:10:24 | 0:10:26 | |
Look at me, look at me. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:27 | |
I will take off those Heelys and I will stick them up your arse. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:31 | |
OK? | 0:10:31 | 0:10:33 | |
It's just a case of taking these up a couple of inches, that's all. They'll do that for you. | 0:10:33 | 0:10:37 | |
Yeah, it's all right, isn't it? | 0:10:47 | 0:10:48 | |
It is, actually...Pavarotti. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:51 | |
-Right! -Argh! | 0:10:51 | 0:10:52 | |
Get off! | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
BOTH GRUNT AND YELL | 0:10:54 | 0:10:57 | |
-RUDI: -Get off! | 0:10:57 | 0:10:58 | |
Ow! I warned you. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
SHE HUMS "NESSUN DORMA" | 0:11:03 | 0:11:05 | |
Shut up! Shut...up! | 0:11:05 | 0:11:08 | |
-Argh! -No! | 0:11:08 | 0:11:10 | |
No! | 0:11:10 | 0:11:11 | |
Mum! Mum! | 0:11:11 | 0:11:14 | |
Now, no need to be nervous, OK? | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
I've got the results back | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
and I'm afraid there is a problem. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
Oh, my God, it's me, isn't it? | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
I'm just gonna come out and say it, | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
the thing is, at times like this it's better to face up to the facts, | 0:11:50 | 0:11:53 | |
sometimes it's easier to look at the negative, | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
to not look beyond what's... | 0:11:55 | 0:11:57 | |
This is a marathon, not a sprint, | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
and there are all sort of options available. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
We just have to sit down calmly together and talk through what... | 0:12:02 | 0:12:05 | |
When you said you're gonna come out... | 0:12:05 | 0:12:07 | |
-It's you, Gavin. -What? | 0:12:07 | 0:12:09 | |
You've got a low sperm count. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:11 | |
Serious? | 0:12:14 | 0:12:15 | |
Yes. | 0:12:15 | 0:12:16 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:19 | |
Shit! | 0:12:19 | 0:12:21 | |
MICK: I mean, the whole thing's getting ridiculous. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
-Why? I think it's nice. -I'm his best man, for God's sake. He wants me to make a speech. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:55 | |
And Smithy, giving Dawn away. I mean, please! | 0:12:55 | 0:12:58 | |
She was given away 27 years ago. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:00 | |
It's their day, Mick. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:02 | |
They had their day in 1982. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
That's my point. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
I could understand if this was some loving union, but they're at each other's throats every five minutes. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:11 | |
Well, ours is not to question while. | 0:13:11 | 0:13:14 | |
-What? -Ours is not to question while. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:16 | |
"Why". "Ours is not to question why." | 0:13:16 | 0:13:18 | |
No, "while". It's not our place to ask questions while they're doing it. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:22 | |
Amazing. | 0:13:22 | 0:13:23 | |
What you said is completely wrong, and yet there's a logic to it. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:27 | |
That's me, Michael. What you see is what you get. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:30 | |
-Maybe we should renew our vows. -Don't even think about it. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:35 | |
Come in, come in. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:39 | |
Oh, sorry. You're still eating. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:41 | |
It's all right. | 0:13:41 | 0:13:42 | |
-Is Dawn not here yet? -No, she's on her way. | 0:13:42 | 0:13:45 | |
Good, cos I wanted to show you something. | 0:13:45 | 0:13:47 | |
I've just been to pick up my ring. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:49 | |
We've chosen our own - you know, for tomorrow. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
Oh, that's nice. Cos then you get to wear something you like. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:55 | |
You know, something you feel comfortable in, rather than... | 0:13:55 | 0:13:57 | |
Oh, my Christ! | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
Who d'you think you are? Puff Daddy? | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
-Don't you like it? -I dunno. | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
I don't know what to think, really. | 0:14:05 | 0:14:06 | |
Oh, no, it's too much, isn't it? | 0:14:06 | 0:14:09 | |
Where d'you get it, Sierra Leone? | 0:14:09 | 0:14:11 | |
Take no notice. If you like it, that's all that matters. | 0:14:11 | 0:14:13 | |
I've never had a decent ring before. I wanted to make a statement. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:16 | |
You've certainly done that, mate. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:18 | |
No, I mean a show of my love for Dawn. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
In that case you should've got a D on it, not a P. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 | |
No, but that's the beauty of it. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:26 | |
P, D. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:30 | |
Pete, Dawn. | 0:14:30 | 0:14:33 | |
Puff, Daddy. | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
-KNOCKING -Oh, there she is! | 0:14:35 | 0:14:38 | |
Welcome to the renewlywed. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:45 | |
Don't! The people in the shop have been calling me that. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
Where is he? Where's my little gingerbread man? | 0:14:48 | 0:14:51 | |
-Hello, my gorgeous girl. -Mmm. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:57 | |
God, you two. Honestly! | 0:15:00 | 0:15:01 | |
I'm in love, Mick, with my wife. Is that such a crime? | 0:15:01 | 0:15:05 | |
Where's Stace and Gavin? Not here yet? | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
No, we haven't heard from them. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:08 | |
I think they're coming first thing tonight. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:11 | |
Give them a ring, Mick, see what's happening. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:13 | |
OK. | 0:15:13 | 0:15:14 | |
-Hey, Dawn, got us a couple of films for tonight. -Have you? | 0:15:14 | 0:15:18 | |
-Got Beaches... -Oh, I love that. | 0:15:18 | 0:15:20 | |
...Breakfast At Tiffany's and Doubt. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:21 | |
Doubt? Never heard of that. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:23 | |
Oh, you will have done. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:24 | |
Meryl Streep's this nun | 0:15:24 | 0:15:25 | |
and the big strawberry-blond fella from Patch Adams is this priest, | 0:15:25 | 0:15:28 | |
and he's been fiddling with the boys and giving them wine. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:31 | |
Bloody hell, Pam, that sounds a barrel of laughs(!) | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
I thought it was a fun, girly night. I brought face packs. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
No, thing is, Meryl Streep doesn't know if he's really fiddling. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:39 | |
That's where the doubt lies. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:41 | |
That's why it's called Doubt. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:42 | |
MICK: Well, he's not picking up. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
You'll have to wait and see him tomorrow, then. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
Now, when are you two going? Cos we wanna get on. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
I dunno. But Pete, is this really necessary? | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
-What d'you mean? -Staying at yours. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:53 | |
I just wanna sleep in me own bed, mate. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:55 | |
Oh, come on, Mick. This is my last night as a single man. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:58 | |
I've booked a stripper. | 0:15:58 | 0:16:00 | |
-You haven't! -You haven't! | 0:16:00 | 0:16:01 | |
-He has. -I never had one, first time round. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
I thought it'd be fun. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
Just you, me and her on our own in your front room? | 0:16:05 | 0:16:07 | |
That's a bit weird, innit, mate? | 0:16:07 | 0:16:08 | |
Oh, live a little, Michael. It's only a stripper. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:11 | |
It's not like she's a prossy or anything. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:13 | |
Exactly. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
DOOR OPENS Oh, that'll be them. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:19 | |
Oh, good. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:20 | |
There he is, my little prince. And Stacey. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:25 | |
-STACEY: -Hiya. | 0:16:25 | 0:16:26 | |
-We didn't know when you were coming. -GAVIN: -Yeah, me too. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:28 | |
-I just tried to ring you. -Yeah, I know. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
-You all right? -Yeah, yeah. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
-You excited about tomorrow? -Yeah. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:38 | |
You wanna see 'em, Gav. They're like a couple of teenagers, aren't you? | 0:16:38 | 0:16:42 | |
Yeah. So, how was the journey? All right? | 0:16:42 | 0:16:44 | |
Yeah. | 0:16:44 | 0:16:45 | |
And the job going OK, is it, Stace, at Marco's? Is it Marco's? | 0:16:48 | 0:16:52 | |
Yeah. I like it. | 0:16:52 | 0:16:54 | |
Well, don't just stand there. Come on in, come in. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:58 | |
Actually, Mum, I'm not feeling too good. I've got a funny tummy. | 0:16:58 | 0:17:01 | |
What, was it something you've eaten? | 0:17:01 | 0:17:03 | |
Yeah. Look, I'm gonna go and lie down. | 0:17:03 | 0:17:04 | |
Oh, all right. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
-Well, do you want anything? -No, thanks. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
-I'll be up now, Gav. -OK. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
Mick, we should really get going, cos she's arriving at half seven. | 0:17:19 | 0:17:23 | |
SHE SIGHS | 0:17:33 | 0:17:35 | |
Are you all right? | 0:17:41 | 0:17:43 | |
Yeah. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:44 | |
How long have you been awake? | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
Dunno. Half an hour. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:51 | |
Do you want a little cwtch? | 0:17:54 | 0:17:56 | |
Yeah, go on, then. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:58 | |
Hang on, you're supposed to be cwtching me. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
Oh. All right, then. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:07 | |
You will be OK, Gav. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
There's things we can do, you know. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:19 | |
Yeah. I know. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:23 | |
SHE SIGHS | 0:18:27 | 0:18:28 | |
Remember your blind spot, Bryn. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
Yes, thank you, David. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:39 | |
Hey, Ness, they've got a sale in Mamas and Papas this week, | 0:18:41 | 0:18:43 | |
and I think a lot of the stuff might fit Neil the Baby. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:46 | |
DAVID: Bryn, come off next junction. There's an average speed check for ten miles. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:50 | |
You'll save yourself a good 20 minutes. The A-road... | 0:18:50 | 0:18:53 | |
Yes, thank you, David, but I'll stick with what I know. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:55 | |
-Suit yourself. You're the driver. -Yes, I am. | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
You might wanna move over. We got a joker behind us. I think he's in a bit of a rush. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:05 | |
Bryn, he's flashing his lights. | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
Thank you, Mr Clarkson. | 0:19:09 | 0:19:11 | |
I am fully aware of the driver in question, | 0:19:11 | 0:19:13 | |
and am merely demonstrating to him | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
that he cannot bully his way along the motorway, | 0:19:15 | 0:19:17 | |
pushing myself and others out of the way. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:19 | |
I am driving at the maximum speed limit of 70 miles an hour. | 0:19:19 | 0:19:23 | |
If he doesn't like it, he can move to Germany and drive on the Autobahn. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
All right, I'm just saying. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:27 | |
Well, don't. Leave the man alone, all right? | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
Look, I drive for a living. I know these roads. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:31 | |
Yes, I know these roads! | 0:19:31 | 0:19:32 | |
I have driven to Billericay over seven times. | 0:19:32 | 0:19:35 | |
I know you've got a bus and I know it's bigger than my Picasso, | 0:19:35 | 0:19:39 | |
-but I'm just trying... -Come on, now. Let's not have a row. | 0:19:39 | 0:19:41 | |
-I'm not rowing. -You are. You're belligerent. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
I tell you what - let's have a bit of music and all just calm down. | 0:19:43 | 0:19:47 | |
Good idea, Gwen. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:51 | |
MUSIC: "Smack My Bitch Up" by The Prodigy | 0:19:51 | 0:19:53 | |
BABY CRIES | 0:19:53 | 0:19:54 | |
MUSIC STOPS | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
BABY CRIES | 0:19:56 | 0:19:57 | |
When you try your best but you don't succeed, | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
When you get what you want but not what you need, | 0:20:01 | 0:20:04 | |
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep, | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
Stuck in reverse. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:08 | |
Lights will gu-i-ide you home, | 0:20:08 | 0:20:11 | |
And ign-i-i-ite your bones... | 0:20:11 | 0:20:13 | |
-No. What are you doing? -It's my vows. It's Coldplay. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:17 | |
Yeah, I know. But don't say it like you're singing a song. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:21 | |
Just say, "Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones." | 0:20:21 | 0:20:23 | |
That's what I said. "Lights will gu-i-ide..." | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
No, you did it again! Don't elongate. Say "guide". | 0:20:26 | 0:20:29 | |
Guide. Ignite. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
Look, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:32 | |
Let's just do it again from the top, all right? | 0:20:32 | 0:20:35 | |
"Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones." | 0:20:35 | 0:20:38 | |
Lights will gui-i-i-i-ide you home... | 0:20:38 | 0:20:42 | |
-No! -Hiya. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:43 | |
-Hiya. -How was last night? The stripper. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
-It was horrific. -She was brilliant. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
-Pete, she was filthy. -I know! | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
No! She actually was dirty! | 0:20:50 | 0:20:52 | |
-Nice. -Well, I enjoyed it. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
-Hiya! -Hiya! | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
How are you feeling? | 0:20:56 | 0:20:57 | |
Oh, you know. Bit nervous. | 0:20:57 | 0:21:01 | |
See you in there. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:02 | |
What's he got to be nervous about? | 0:21:04 | 0:21:05 | |
I don't understand why we're here, to be honest. | 0:21:05 | 0:21:07 | |
Hiya. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:09 | |
I've been trying to ring you. What's happening with the quack? | 0:21:09 | 0:21:12 | |
-What's occurring? -I'll tell you later. | 0:21:12 | 0:21:14 | |
Hiya! | 0:21:14 | 0:21:15 | |
Gav. | 0:21:15 | 0:21:17 | |
-When are you heading back west? -What? | 0:21:17 | 0:21:19 | |
-To Barry. -Dunno, really. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
Well, when you go, would you please do me a favour | 0:21:21 | 0:21:23 | |
and take that bloody bus driver with you? | 0:21:23 | 0:21:25 | |
He is doing my head in. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:27 | |
So was he fiddling with the boys? The vicar - the priest? | 0:21:29 | 0:21:33 | |
-Well, we don't know. -But I need to know. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:36 | |
Cos I actually quite liked him, that guy from The Boat That Rocked. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:39 | |
-Philip Dustin Hoffman? -Yeah. | 0:21:39 | 0:21:41 | |
But if he's been fiddling with boys, then obviously I wanna hate him. | 0:21:41 | 0:21:44 | |
But that is the point, Dawn. There's doubt. That's why it's called Doubt. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:48 | |
KNOCK AT DOOR | 0:21:48 | 0:21:49 | |
We all ready to go? | 0:21:49 | 0:21:50 | |
Right. I'll go on in, then. | 0:21:50 | 0:21:53 | |
Come on. | 0:21:57 | 0:21:59 | |
MUISC: "Flower Duet" from Lakme by Deblies | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
-Take good care of her, Pete. -I will, Neil. I won't let you down. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:24 | |
Please be seated. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:32 | |
We're gathered here today to celebrate the 26-year marriage | 0:22:33 | 0:22:36 | |
of Dawn and Peter Sutcliffe. | 0:22:36 | 0:22:39 | |
To mark that anniversary, | 0:22:39 | 0:22:41 | |
Dawn and Peter have chosen to renew their vows | 0:22:41 | 0:22:44 | |
before you, their dearest family and their closest friends. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:49 | |
Tears stream down your face. | 0:22:51 | 0:22:54 | |
I promise I will learn from my mistakes. | 0:22:54 | 0:22:57 | |
Lights will guide you home, | 0:22:57 | 0:23:01 | |
and ignite your bones. | 0:23:01 | 0:23:04 | |
And I will try... | 0:23:04 | 0:23:07 | |
to fix you. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:09 | |
And now, Dawn, would you please make your renewal vows to Peter? | 0:23:10 | 0:23:14 | |
Pete, | 0:23:22 | 0:23:24 | |
the two of us need look no more. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
We both found what we were looking for. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:30 | |
With a friend to call my own, I'll never be alone. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:34 | |
And you, my friend, will see, | 0:23:34 | 0:23:36 | |
you've got a friend in me. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:38 | |
Pete, you're always running here and there. | 0:23:40 | 0:23:43 | |
You feel you're not wanted anywhere. | 0:23:45 | 0:23:46 | |
If you ever look behind, and don't like what you find, | 0:23:48 | 0:23:52 | |
there's one thing you should know - | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
you got a place to go. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:55 | |
I used to say "I" and "me". | 0:23:57 | 0:24:00 | |
Now it's "us". Now it's "we". | 0:24:00 | 0:24:03 | |
I used to say "I" and "me". | 0:24:03 | 0:24:07 | |
Now it's "us", and now it's "we". | 0:24:07 | 0:24:10 | |
Pete, | 0:24:11 | 0:24:13 | |
most people would turn you away. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:16 | |
I don't listen to a word they say. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
They don't see you as I do. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:22 | |
I wish they'd try to. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:25 | |
I'm sure they'd think again | 0:24:25 | 0:24:27 | |
If they had a friend...like Pete. | 0:24:27 | 0:24:29 | |
-OFFICIAL: -Thank you, Dawn. | 0:24:31 | 0:24:33 | |
Peter and Dawn's children are going to present the eternity rings. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:36 | |
So Fiona and Alex, if you'd like to step forward. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:39 | |
Pete, if you'd like to take the eternity ring and place it on Dawn's finger | 0:24:39 | 0:24:43 | |
as a token sign of your renewed commitment and love. | 0:24:43 | 0:24:49 | |
I love you, Dawn. | 0:24:52 | 0:24:54 | |
I love you so much. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:57 | |
And Dawn, if you'd like to take Pete's eternity ring and do the same. | 0:24:58 | 0:25:03 | |
Bloody hell, Pete! | 0:25:04 | 0:25:06 | |
How much did that cost? | 0:25:06 | 0:25:08 | |
140 quid. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:11 | |
Oh, it's disgusting. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:13 | |
Have you seen this? | 0:25:14 | 0:25:16 | |
-You look ridiculous. -I'm sorry. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
-OFFICIAL: -You may now seal your vows of renewal with a kiss. | 0:25:25 | 0:25:30 | |
I didn't mean it to come out like that. I was just so shocked. | 0:25:46 | 0:25:49 | |
It is horrible, though, Dawn. | 0:25:49 | 0:25:51 | |
It's what I'd call gaudy. It's gauche. | 0:25:51 | 0:25:54 | |
But that aside, it really was a lovely service. | 0:25:54 | 0:25:57 | |
-Thank you, Gwyn. -Gwen. -Gwen. | 0:25:57 | 0:25:59 | |
You just assume you're gonna be all right. | 0:26:01 | 0:26:03 | |
Like it's a foregone conclusion that you can have kids. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:06 | |
But how low? I mean, how low is low? What you gonna do? | 0:26:06 | 0:26:10 | |
I dunno. I mean, there's loads of options. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:12 | |
-Sperm donor. -Right. | 0:26:12 | 0:26:14 | |
OK. I get it. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:16 | |
-What? -I know what you're saying. I'll do it. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:19 | |
-Smithy. -I'll have sex with Stacey. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:21 | |
-You don't understand. -I'll do it for you. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
Call me stupid, call me crazy, | 0:26:23 | 0:26:27 | |
but I love you. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:28 | |
I'll do it. You're my best friend. | 0:26:28 | 0:26:30 | |
I'd do it for any of my friends, really. | 0:26:30 | 0:26:32 | |
Maybe not Dirtbox. That isn't racist. We just don't click, me and her. | 0:26:32 | 0:26:35 | |
-Mate, it's not what this is about. -Clearly, I've got strong swimmers. | 0:26:35 | 0:26:39 | |
Right? And listen to me. | 0:26:39 | 0:26:41 | |
I promise you this. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
I guarantee you, Stacey will not enjoy it. | 0:26:43 | 0:26:46 | |
You can watch if you like, just to make sure, | 0:26:46 | 0:26:48 | |
but she will get next to no pleasure from it, and that's because she loves you. | 0:26:48 | 0:26:52 | |
-But I don't want you to. -Of course you don't. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:54 | |
Why would you? | 0:26:54 | 0:26:55 | |
Christ, I'd hate it if anyone slept with Lucy. | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
Though apparently half the Boys' Brigade have. | 0:26:58 | 0:27:00 | |
I just have to believe it isn't true. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:02 | |
Oh, Gav. Bryn says me and Ness are coming back with you. Is that right? | 0:27:02 | 0:27:06 | |
Yeah, if you like. There's room in the car. | 0:27:06 | 0:27:08 | |
OK. Well, we're sort of ready to make a move, to be honest. | 0:27:08 | 0:27:11 | |
-What, now? -Yeah, if you don't mind. | 0:27:11 | 0:27:13 | |
Well, no. We weren't gonna go yet. We were gonna stay for a bit. | 0:27:13 | 0:27:15 | |
Yeah, fair enough. We'll get the train. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:17 | |
What? | 0:27:17 | 0:27:18 | |
It's not really my scene. I don't know what I'm doing here. | 0:27:18 | 0:27:21 | |
Hang on a minute. This is supposed to be my time with Neil. I've barely seen him. | 0:27:21 | 0:27:25 | |
Yeah, I know. But the thing is, I got a long drive tomorrow. | 0:27:25 | 0:27:28 | |
I got a school party going the Chair Museum in High Wycombe. | 0:27:28 | 0:27:30 | |
So it's just easier for us to go back now. | 0:27:30 | 0:27:33 | |
Well, whether it's easier or not isn't the point. | 0:27:33 | 0:27:35 | |
It's supposed to be my time with my son. Nessa, you can understand that. | 0:27:35 | 0:27:38 | |
-I know. -Of course we can. | 0:27:38 | 0:27:39 | |
Maybe next weekend you can have more time with him. | 0:27:39 | 0:27:41 | |
It'd just be better for me... | 0:27:41 | 0:27:42 | |
I don't care if it's better for you or not. It's nothing to do with you. | 0:27:42 | 0:27:45 | |
It's none of your business. Nessa, come on. | 0:27:45 | 0:27:47 | |
What do you mean? The kid lives in my house. | 0:27:47 | 0:27:50 | |
Caravan. Nessa... | 0:27:50 | 0:27:51 | |
-Oh. Don't talk to her like I'm not here. -This is our son. Mine and hers. | 0:27:51 | 0:27:55 | |
-Well, I'm his stepdad. -No, you're not. | 0:27:55 | 0:27:57 | |
-You're her boyfriend. -I'm her fiance! | 0:27:57 | 0:27:59 | |
And we're getting married on June 13th. | 0:27:59 | 0:28:01 | |
-It'll all change then. -Will it? | 0:28:01 | 0:28:03 | |
-It's gonna change, is it? -Yeah. | 0:28:03 | 0:28:05 | |
Right. Well, best of luck with that. The whole marriage thing. | 0:28:05 | 0:28:08 | |
I really hope it works out, | 0:28:08 | 0:28:09 | |
given me and her woke up in bed together last time she came here without you. | 0:28:09 | 0:28:13 | |
What?! | 0:28:15 | 0:28:16 | |
# Tell me tomorrow I'll wait by the window for you | 0:28:18 | 0:28:23 | |
# I'll wait by your big house for you | 0:28:28 | 0:28:32 | |
# I'll wait by the squeezebox for you. # | 0:28:36 | 0:28:41 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:28:41 | 0:28:44 | |
E-mail [email protected] | 0:28:44 | 0:28:47 |