26/04/2013 EastEnders

Whoa, whoa, whoa! I just want a word, blud.

See, the crew, yeah - well, Renzo, he thought, just...

Me and you...

A word between brothers.

You can give us that, yeah?

-Kirsty, just let me explain.

-No. No. I won't.

-Well, can I at least tell you what I was doing up there?

-No. Once a liar. Always a liar!

I propose we come to some sort of arrangement that's mutually beneficial.

And I hold all the cards.

Took you to a while to realise,

and I thought you were quite an intelligent man, Michael.

It's a point of principle and protocol. I mean, I'm on a tight deadline.

-And I think you'll find I was actually here first.

-"I was actually here first".

That's not very professional, is it? Haven't you got a toilet to go clean?

Oi, I am more professional than you're professional, Darth Vader.

Why don't you come to Toddlers with us?

Um, I've actually got a business meeting...

-..later.

-Yeah, yeah, right, right. I get it, it's a big ask.

-It's outside your comfort zone, so...

-Fine, fine.

-Fine.

-Fine.

Billy. You're in charge.

What, "in charge" in charge?

Yes, I said, you're in charge.

That's what she said. I'm in charge.

I don't just have him here for decoration, you know.

She don't just have me here for decorating, does she?

So...

Impress me, Mr Vader.

All right, yeah. I went to talk to Tanya.

Maybe I should have told you. But there's a reason.

You know what? I ain't doing this. I can talk to whoever I want.

And you - you should trust me. You're having our baby.

You sure about that?

"Our", Max? It's ours?

How exactly do you think that's going to work?

You creeping off to the earth mother every time she calls!

She didn't call.

And you ain't doing it? Oh, you and me both.

Just...

..make up your mind.

Great.

You've just saved me a job.

All got a bit out of hand, didn't it, bruv?

But look, we don't need no more grief. Outside interfering.

None of us. And that mum of yours...

Wait! No, no, no. I'm not trying to mug her off or anything. It's just...

They don't get it, do they?

Ain't been there.

Don't understand.

But you...

You do, don't you?

I don't.

Loyalty... between brothers.

I know you understand.

We got to get this thing sorted.

Ain't we, yeah?

Come on, bruv, take a seat, man.

Don't worry.

I ain't going to do anything.

If I was, I would have done it before.

Put the kettle on or something.

(IRISH ACCENT) "Manners don't cost a thing in this world."

Something my mum used to say.

So what, you really think you're going to be the first brother

to walk back across the estate, who's had a knife in his gut?

Be straight, will you, bruv?

My little cousin's got bigger scars than that. It's just...

It's just how it is. Brothers fight. And we move on.

Tighter...than we was before.

Yeah?

I don't understand what you want off me.

Yeah, you do.

Don't you?

About time.

Why is my dad never here when I actually need him?

Cos he's a fella. Does your dad do your accounts?

You're not that desperate.

He's all right. I've just seen him. He's smiling, he's fine.

-I thought you was looking out for the window bloke.

-Smiling. Know what that is?

When the corner of your mouth goes up.

You really want to have a party about that?

What, a surprise one?

Well, not exactly a party.

But when Jay clocks off, that's 150 hours of community service done and finished.

I'm in.

Yeah, OK. I'm up for it. I'm a bit skint at the minute,

but as long as Jay don't mind sharing my lemonade.

-Lemonade?

-Yes, it's a new start, ain't it? For Jay.

Got to start making an effort.

CHILDREN SCREAM

So I go down there.

Go down to the police station.

And I withdraw my statement.

And...

You ain't a grass no more.

And I swear down, bruv, I will spread it in the ends.

It's as simple as that.

Keeps you busy.

Great grandchildren keep you young.

Yeah, you do. You look well. I'll see you again. Bye bye.

You would make a rubbish detective, you know that?

Clip-clopping around in your high heels.

I heard you coming a mile off.

You should be wearing slippers...

..which you might as well put on, now you're home.

Babe, I had to go and see Tanya, didn't I?

It's just going to hit her hard. Us setting up home opposite her front door.

No way!

This morning, it was the letting agent on the phone.

No way!

Babe, I've had it in mind for months to do this.

Hello? I just thought I'd welcome you to your new...

OK.

Oh, no.

Oh.

Great(!)

Abi?

Abi?

Abs!

You all right? What's the problem?

Problems? I never said anything about problems.

Urgent. You said it was urgent.

Yeah. It is urgent.

I wanted to see you in your convict gear one last time.

And then I wanted you to take it off... Yeah, the water's warm.

Is it?

No one's in.

Ain't they?

Little shower...!

Yeah. Sounds great.

Yeah. OK. Excellent.

Oh. So I'll meet you in the Vic in 20 minutes, yeah?

OK. Don't be late.

Yeah, righto.

# The wheels on the bus go round and round

# Round and round

# Round and round

# The wheels on the bus go round and round

# All day long

# The horn on the bus goes beep beep beep

# Beep beep beep

# Beep beep beep

# The horn on the bus goes beep beep beep

# All day long

# The wipers on the bus go swish swish swish

# Swish swish swish... #

We could do with a proper bed.

Bed? What you talking about?

You're so demanding.

Man at your age, you need all the exercise you can get.

Microwave, bigger fridge.

Curtains need changing.

And, um...I want a decent-sized flat screen.

There's a sale on the high street.

-I'll just call in before my shift.

-Nah, nah, nah.

Nah, that's it. You got the flat now. You ain't going out.

Barefoot and pregnant, that's you now.

-Yeah, it's hard being on your own.

-I can't remember the last time I had five minutes to myself.

I need an exact time. Yes, exact.

Because...because I've had an hole in my window.

I've been waiting all morning.

Bridge Street.

BRIDGE STREET.

Well, you better do, otherwise I'm just going to go somewhere else.

Yeah, that was the only reason I stayed..

That and the free childcare. And because...

Tommy loves his dad, and I don't want to screw that up and all.

Yeah, well, one screw-up at a time, yeah?

Do you have to pay tax if you're skint?

Who's looking after your stall?

That's because Alfie ain't selfish. There's a big difference.

He's not an idiot that don't think things through.

-Oh, he is.

-Cos with Ricky, it's out of sight, out of mind.

He didn't come and visit me once when I was in prison. Not once.

What does that say to our kids, eh?

I'm going to make Liam a sandwich.

B, all parents let their kids down.

No, not if you don't give them the chance, they don't.

Just tell them it was a fight that got out of hand.

And the knife?

It was mine. I started it.

All right.

All right.

You know I've had Renzo actually trying to fight me

just to give you another chance.

Don't worry, he's all right.

Well, he will be.

So the police'll have to let Little Chris off.

No statement, no proof, no crime. You - back with the crew.

Our name up there. No...

No real harm done.

You can make it up to Little Chris.

We'll find you a little something.

Ashleigh.

Go on.

Jog on.

You should know me by now, bruv. I'm on this t'ing.

I've got eyes and ears everywhere out there, yeah?

Ready to help you get to the station "safe".

Liam.

Liam.

You ain't stupid, are you?

Are you stupid?

No.

No.

So...

The crew are going to be waiting for you, right?

Waiting for you to step up, yeah?

I ain't going to hold your hand, blud.

Someone's got to wait in for that little sister of yours.

Someone's got to "explain" to your mum exactly how it goes from now.

No. My house is like a prison.

-Little Chris knows all about...

-He stabbed me!

-You...

-You. You ain't my brother. And I ain't doing it.

Here he is.

Hi.

Well done, Jay.

OK.

Always been the same, Renzo.

A liability.

Ooh, thanks!

S'all right!

No, no, no!

Oi! Get off! Get off me!

You do exactly what I say! Do you understand!

-Just get off me!

-NOOOOOOO!

I will kill you before you ever touch any of my kids again!

Do you hear me? I will kill you!

BIANCA SCREAMS

You come near my family ever again or hurt my kids and I will kill you!

Do you understand me? Do you understand me?

Stay down!

Stay there!

He's had that coming for a long time.

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

Come here.

Yeah. Police, please.

No, I loved it... It was brilliant, actually.

Seeing you singing the beep beep song,

waving your little arms about making absolutely no sense.

It's very entertaining.

-Brilliant.

-And who'd have thought? I didn't drop her on her head once,

or flush her down the loo or get myself all confused and try

and breast-feed the wrong baby.

What is next?

Indoor play-area this afternoon. And tomorrow.

Probably Sunday.

OK.

And Toddler Gym on Monday.

BABY CRIES

OK, baby!

She doesn't like her shoes put on in the buggy.

I am her mother, Michael. Get used to it, please.

So then it's swimming on Tuesday and sign and mime on Wednesday.

Oh, shush, shush, shush!

Scarly really doesn't like having her shoes put on in the buggy.

Thank you. So much.

And it's Scar-LETT. LETT.

Really not that difficult to say her full name, is it?

Now I've got an appointment over in Epping.

If you just inbox me her itinerary.

I am presuming the hired help can switch on a computer?

BABY CRIES

OK. Well, this obviously isn't working.

So I think that we should come to...

some sort of agreement.

That's a good idea.

Great looming pink pizza on my left.

Nasty. No wonder our daughter cries so much.

Excuse me.

Poor Mum.

Least she's not stuck living on top of your father and Cruella.

Mum?

I'll get it.

Thanks. Just a lemonade, please.

-Trace, can I get one lemonade?

-Yes, sure.

-Actually, you know what. Can you stick a double vodka in there?

-Yeah.

I'm proud of you.

Are you? How proud?

I like it. I like it very much.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Now, it was only by showing you the competition that

I could properly persuade you of the merits of my idea, OK?

Now take this ploughman's platter. Limp, lame - and where's the pickle?

Walford is crying out for a contemporary eating space

that's firmly rooted in the history of the area.

Crying buckets, mate. And look - where is my pickle?

Yeah... Thanks.

Pleasure.

It takes intelligent thinking, Billy, you know.

A small cash injection - rich, rich rewards.

Now obviously you've got the business acumen to see that.

Janine's going to thank you.

All right, deal.

-Deal.

-And when Janine comes out of her meeting, you can

see if she'll deal with you as well.

-Eh?

-Don't worry.

Cos I am 50% certain that Janine will say yes.

POLICE RADIO CRACKLES

Liam says all he wants is some nuggets.

If Liam wants to go away, or...

You know, something for him. An holiday, or whatever.

Don't mean he's never coming back, does it?

No.

Liam loves his dad.

He loves his mum and his dad.

Yeah, like most kids out there.

Hello, Ricky.

Shut up and I'll tell you.

Do you not think you've had enough now, yeah?

Ooh! Who are you, eh? My father?

I thought you were broke.

This was meant to be your celebration.

It's all right, I don't care.

Cos if you are, You better hurry along.

Crack on with this one. Eh? The minute you get a chance.

The minute my back is turned, you'll be going on another little jogging date.

You do know, Abi?

Dad's, um...Dad's got a flat now, with Kirsty?

What?

He's a very good "jogger", ain't he, Lucy?

See, that's what I mean.

I don't even know why I'm saying that because you already know, don't you?

Go on, why don't you - why don't you show this lot your six pack?

No.

Go on. Go on, show them.

Lauren, just get off me, all right?

All right.

So... Work.

Yeah. Nice one, mate. Painting fences and all that.

-Bet you're glad it's done with, aren't you?

-Yeah.

No, listen - listen, right. Heather Trott is all forgot, eh?

I actually hate you.

Home, maybe?

Lauren, you said you weren't drinking.

No. I'm not.

Lucy must have... Lucy spiked my lemonade.

-She must have put something in it.

-Lauren, you said - you promised me, Lauren,

that you would not have a drink.

Yeah, I know, but...

It's just a beer at lunchtime.

What, it's hardly going to kill me, is it, Joey?

Yeah. You know what, Lauren? That's it now. We're done now, Lauren. I've had enough.

What?

I can't do this any more.

That's it. It's over.

Do you think he's changed? Be any different?

Well, you can only hope so.

But I think your dad wants to see you even more than you want to see him.

Whatever. I can get a train by myself.

Yeah.

Well, look, I can't find my trainers.

It's just a holiday, Mum.

I don't have to stay.

Just...see how it goes.

And you and Nan...

You're safe now.

Whatever.

You know where we are, anyway.

Well, I'll always be here, won't I?

Yeah.

Come here, darling. Take care.

Bye.

See ya.

-He don't need it any more. He's grown out of it.

-Liam!

-What?

-We won!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd