16/12/2013 EastEnders

900, so that's 920...

40... 60... 80...

Oh, no, what's happening? Where am I?

Oh, dear, how many had I put down there? 900...

Oh, I'm going to give up tonight. Hopeless. Try again tomorrow.

All right, madam, what are you doing up?

I can't sleep.

We should start packing, you know.

Hey.

Come on.

-It won't come to that. All right?

-How can you be so sure?

Because to most people around here, we ARE the Vic. We are.

Trust me.

A couple of weeks' time and it'll be business as usual. All right?

-Better make a move. See you later.

-See you.

-Was that you slamming the door at three o'clock this morning?

-It won't happen again.

-It's not a hotel. You know that, don't you?

-I said it won't happen again.

I don't need you answering for me.

See you later.

-I thought I said midnight.

-Look, I'm not a kid, Nan.

Then stop acting like one.

-That told you.

-Oh, shut up, man! Who asked you anything?

-That's enough!

You are skating on very thin ice, young man.

So I suggest either you buck up your ideas or you can...

Or what?

You can find somewhere else to live.

Nan!

Fine.

Morning, David.

-What's all this?

-Not my choice, Max, believe you me.

-How comes you ain't over the road?

-You'll have to ask your sister that one.

Chucked you out, has she? To be honest, mate, I'm surprised it took her this long.

-I need a coffee.

-Get yourself cleaned up, will ya?

-I don't want you scaring the customers.

-All right, all right. Catch you later.

Now there's a sight for sore eyes.

Not now, Janine.

SIREN WAILS

I'd like to make an appointment, please.

Sorry, do you know what - I'll call you back. Thanks.

Why are you dressed as a pudding?

Because there were too many shepherds. When did Christmas become such a slog, eh?

I've been up since five o'clock making this costume.

Go and get your shoes on, please.

Mum? Mum? Hello!

What planet are you on today, eh?

-You've had a right face on you for a few days.

-I've just got a lot on my plate, that's all.

-And you're sure that's all it is?

-What do you mean?

If you want to go and apologise to Dad, then go and flamin' do it, will ya?

Come on, let's go!

Yes. Albert Square. Number 31.

You know the Jacksons, the Butchers, the Sproggits, whoever they are.

They're lit up like the Blackpool illuminations.

No wonder I'm short circuiting.

Thank you.

You know, in my day, Poppy, Christmas was about the birth of Christ.

Not a flasher on a roof. Don't touch that.

I'm just checking it's all there.

Yes, well, I've already balanced my books

cos I've got to give this over to the vicar.

The last of the contributions.

Don't sit there!

What's that?

You know what they say, don't you Poppy? Curiosity killed the cat.

Oh, go on, Mrs Branning. Just give us a little clue.

Well, let's just say that I'm going to play a pivotal part at midnight mass.

Oh my lord, is that the time? There's so much to do. And it's raining.

Did I tell you that the vicar's got a photographer coming from the Gazette?

Yeah, you did. Once or twice.

Yes, they're going to give me one of them great big cheques, you know, to hand over.

You should be very proud, Mrs Branning.

It ain't just me, Poppy. You know, there's the community.

-Lock up.

-All right. See you later.

-See you later.

Morgan, come on, we're going to be late.

Come on.

Bianca!

Dot, sorry, I've got to take Morgan to his dress rehearsal.

It's about them monstrosities adorning that there house of yours.

Yeah, sorry, you'll have to speak to Terry about that.

The incessant flashing's not only keeping me awake at night but now my electric's gone to pot.

I am sorry.

Oh, my lord, whatever's this?

He's a present from the three wise men. Good, ain't it?

-I'd rather be the iPod.

-Whatever happened to gold, frankincense and myrrh?

-Have to get with the times, Dot. Baby Jesus never wanted smellies.

-Oh, Lord, give me strength...

-Hi, Dot. Merry Christmas.

-Merry Christmas to you too.

-See you later.

-Do you like my outfit?

-Yes, mate, you look wicked.

-Is she in?

-What've you said? She's like a bear with a sore head.

Nothing. She just lashed out at me.

-So what's the matter?

-I intend to find out.

-We're going to be late. I'll see you after.

-Have a nice time. Ta-ta.

What have you forgotten now?

-I got you some flowers.

-I've got to go to work.

Although technically, it should be you apologising to me.

You've got no idea what it's like sleeping on a Portakabin floor.

I told you I don't want you here.

We're back to all this again? Come on, Carol.

-Whatever it is I've done...

-Why do you always assume it's about you? Huh?

Because you're the centre of everyone's world? Is that it?

-Well, I hate to break it to you, David, but I've got other things going on in my life.

-Such as?

No, come on. Such as?

Look, we're a week away from Christmas.

The last thing the kids need is me and you at each other's throats.

So, why don't we just forget about your little tantrum...

-Tantrum?!

-Well...

-Everything's a joke to you, isn't it?

-What do you want me to say?

-That I'll start doing more around the house?

-It's not about that.

-What is it, then? I'm struggling to understand...

-You know what? Forget it! Forget I said anything!

-Carol, you cannot chuck me out of my own home...

-Don't push me, David. I swear to God, I'm this close to...

-Close to what? Close to what, Carol?

-Just... Can you just get out of here? Please.

Well... is it all right if I get my stuff?

Yes. Two minutes. You've got two minutes.

11 years today, apparently.

-So what's the secret then, Sade?

-I'm sorry?

-To a happy marriage.

-Assuming I'm still married by this evening.

-Someone forgot to book a baby-sitter.

-Oh, no.

Oh, look, I'd offer to do it myself but Fats is taking me out later.

Actually. You're free tonight, aren't you, Lauren?

And you were saying this morning how skint you were, weren't you?

-I can't.

-It'll be three hours tops, and you did say you were looking.

-She'd love to. Wouldn't you, darling?

-Thanks.

You may well have just saved my marriage.

She ain't going to chuck you out, is she?

Not if Alfie has his way.

-Dad, you heard this? Janine's only gone and bought the Vic.

-Good for her.

-Dad!

-The deal ain't done yet.

-Why did you say that?

-I don't give a monkey's what she does with her money.

-So, you spoke to my mum?

-Yeah. For what it's worth.

-And?

-Another night in the car lot for me.

-You must have said something to upset her.

-I never said anything. She's unhinged.

-You was only supposed to be staying a couple of weeks.

-You want to see the back of me too, do you?

-Thanks very much(!)

-Can't be much fun, kipping in Max's Portakabin.

I mean, you've come back, had all these big plans...

What - and now look at me? Thank you very much, darling.

Much appreciated.

-I didn't mean it. Come on, let's talk about it.

-No. I'm done talking.

-What about your mum?

-What about my mum?

-You're all she's got.

-She should have thought about that before she sent my dad packing.

-Dexter? Dex, where are you going?

-I'm leaving.

What? What're you talking about? You're not leaving!

Just tell the boy, for God's sake. Just give him the address!

Tell me. Mum, where is he? Where is he? Where is he?

-Sam is gone. That's all you need to know.

-Mum, you're lying. You're lying, Mum.

-Where is he?

-It's not in there.

-Stop it!

-How long have you had this, then? Huh?

-How long have you had this?

-About a week. Look, listen to me...

Let me explain... Dexter! Dexter!

Thank you!

-Janine, just wondering if now is a good time?

-Actually, no...

Just wondered if you'd reconsider my proposal?

About me and Kat staying on as managers? Under your watchful eye, of course.

-Think about it. This could turn into, like, a family business.

-Family?!

Well, yeah. You know, 20 years from now, Tommy and Scarlett working behind the bar. Be great.

-Look, we'll just have to talk later.

-Listen, I promise, you will not regret that, Janine.

-No...

Hang on, I never said... What is the point?

All right, Janine. Sorry I couldn't stop earlier.

-You got time for a coffee?

-You're just going to have to talk to me here

-cos I'm waiting for a call from my solicitor.

-We're selling the club.

I'm actually selling my share of the club back to Phil.

Just call it a little sweetener.

Right. Well, listen - I need a loan. Four weeks tops.

What for this time?

I'm going to push off, Janine. Later on today.

-What's brought this on?

-Can you lend me the money or not?

No... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. No can do.

We're only talking a grand.

It might have escaped your notice but we're trying to buy a pub here.

Billy is right, for a change. Every penny counts.

You never did understand the notion of family, did you?

Bye. Thank you.

"CAROL OF THE BELLS" PLAYS

# ..Merry, merry, merry Christmas

# Merry, merry, merry Christmas... #

All right, ladies.

Guess which little superstar got promoted from second shepherd to innkeeper?

-Who's a clever little thing, eh?

-Well done!

Technically it's a man but I think they're trying to be imaginative with the casting.

Come on, trouble. your mum's got work to do.

-Actually, I've decided to finish early today.

-Yeah?

You don't mind if I take your dad out for our anniversary, do you?

-Who's going to look after me?

-You'll be all right on your own.

Just stay away from the bleach and the sharp knives.

Don't worry. It's all taken care of.

There's food in the fridge so just help yourself.

Jake. Your keys?

See ya. Happy anniversary!

-Bye, love.

-Bye.

-Hello, Dot. You all right?

-Yes. Is Alfie about?

He's upstairs with Tommy.

I heard that he's looking for volunteers, you know,

for this here street party of his.

Would you tell him that I'd be happy to coordinate proceedings?

-Yeah, course I will.

-Thank you.

Are you all right, David?

-Hm?

-You look a bit lost.

I'm all right, Dot. Thanks. Something'll turn up.

Always does. Want a nut?

Oh, how nice.

I'll have a glass of white wine. Actually, make that a bottle.

-And whatever Billy wants.

-I assuming this is on the house.

I wouldn't count on it.

Dot, would you like a drink?

Oh, no, thank you, Janine. You know me, I never touch alcohol.

What about you, David? One for the road?

Suit yourself.

Hark at her without a care in the world.

You wouldn't think she'd buried her husband less than a month ago, would you?

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

SAW WHIRS

Dex?

The old woman in the flats said I'd find you in here.

I'm pleased you came.

I would've come sooner but Mum wouldn't give me your address.

Look, she had no right throwing you out like that.

-Your mother only had your best interests at heart.

-Come on, man, stop defending her.

I'm not.

Look, if she cared anything about me then she wouldn't have threw you out.

So how's things in Walford?

I got the sack.

-I'm sorry.

-I'm not.

Cos it means I can stay here and I can work with you.

Come on, Dad, I'm good with my hands. I can learn on the job...

I mean, a couple of months from now, we could be in business together.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down, son.

-Listen, I'm not going back there.

-What about your mum?

-Forget her.

-She loves you.

Yeah, well, you know what - she shouldn't have lied to me.

So come on, what do you say?

I mean, this could be the start of something big...

It's my fault.

-What is?

-Your mother's done nothing wrong.

Look, can you stop defending her?

You were the last person who could help me.

A year ago, I found out that my kidneys had started to fail.

But then I came to Albert Square

and fell in love with my beautiful boy all over again.

That kidney saved my life.

But finding you, learning how to be a dad again...

Whoa, whoa, whoa....

Are you saying you only came back cos you were sick?

So... what, you didn't want to see me?

Of course I did.

You're my boy, Dexter.

So what about all that stuff you said...

that stuff we spoke about? That was all lies too, yeah?

All you need to know...

is that I love you.

And I never stopped loving you from the moment I walked out that door.

Mum found out, didn't she? That's why she chucked you out.

You know, that woman is worth ten of you.

I'm sorry, son.

-Really I am.

-Look, I'm no son of yours.

Nana Carol. Can you help me with my lines?

-No. No, no, I'm busy.

-But Mum said...

I don't care what your mum said. There's only one of me, Morgan.

All right. Come here. Five minutes and then I have to get back to the dinner.

Right, it's page 26. There.

"Where is the child who was born king of the Jews?"

"For we bring him gifts of an iPod, an Xbox..."

..and a pudding!

I'll get a better part next year.

-Let's do these lines later, yeah?

-OK.

And Morgan...

you're going to be the best pudding there ever is.

TV IS ON

What are you doing?

I'm making an anniversary card.

Do your mum and dad do something special every year?

Not last year.

What happened?

They had a fight.

That's why Dad didn't come for Christmas.

He says this year's going to be twice as fun, though,

just to make up for it.

I'm sure it will.

"CAROL OF THE BELLS" PLAYS

BANGING ON DOOR

-Yes?

-You must be...

Dorothy Branning. Mrs.

I'm from North One Power. According to our...

It'll be about them lights, won't it?

I've a red nose flashing at me all night long.

I mean, it's no wonder I can't sleep.

-Actually, Mrs Branning, I'm the bearer of good news.

-Really?

During a recent review of your account, it came to our attention

that you may have been on the wrong tariff for some time now.

-Oh?

-We're not like the other energy companies.

We're the first to hold up our hands and admit we've made a mistake.

So if you could just show me a recent bill...?

I'm sure I could have this sorted out in no time.

Course I will, come on in. Shut the door behind you.

Pie and chips. Sorry it's not a bit more romantic.

Food of the gods, this.

You bought me chips on our first date.

Yeah, I did.

That's when you knew you were on to a good thing.

11 years.

Yeah. 11 years.

They've not all been bad, have they?

PHONE RINGS

-Ignore it.

-No, what if something's wrong?

Hi. Lauren?

You said you were available all evening...

No. Fine. We'll come back now.

-Problem?

-Well, it would seem that Lauren's double-booked herself.

Happy anniversary.

All right? I'll have a pint please, Kat.

-You all right?

-Oh, yeah, great thanks.

-Kat, you think I should go and give them a bottle of bubbly?

-Why?

-To seal our partnership, that's why.

-You really think she's going to keep us on?

Tell you something, sweetheart, she was practically biting my hand off.

There you go, guys. Compliments of the management.

That's very kind of you.

You're welcome. Not that we do give booze away. Cos we don't.

Well, about that.

I think there's probably only room for one landlord of the Vic, don't you?

What was it Pat said? A new broom sweeps clean.

So?

Yeah, sorted.

-How did you manage that, then?

-I told you, didn't I?

I made her on offer she couldn't refuse. Huh?

-Having fun, are you?

-Eh?

What's all this, eh? Having a works night out or something?

No, we're celebrating.

Actually, I'm quite hungry. Why don't we go to Scarlett's, take that with us, and get a bite to eat?

You want to know what my sister's doing tonight, Janine?

Get out of my way, Joey.

I wonder what everyone in here would think if they knew what really happened that night, eh?

-You're hurting my arm.

-Take your hands off her.

-Stay out of this please. David, all right.

-I mean it, Joey. Take your hands off her.

I won't tell you again.

Get your hands off me now! Every time you turn around I'm going to be here, Janine.

Out! Out! Do you hear me?

-Out!

-You want to watch who you're pushing around, David.

Or what? Because I've just about had my fill of you Brannings today.

Do you like bullying women, is that it?

Yeah. Derek was just the same.

-He wouldn't let Carol breathe without his say so.

-What's Carol got to do with anything, eh?

Me and her would be together if it wasn't for that twisted little man!

-This ain't about Derek!

-So what was all that in there, then?

You're a chip off the old block if ever I saw it.

You really think that Janine's the victim in all this, don't you?

What is wrong with people? Can't you see what's in front of your eyes?

-And what's that, then?

-She killed Michael!

Yeah, that's right, David. Your little stepsister.

She picked up a knife and she stuck it straight through his back.

-Shut up.

-Have you seen my sister?

-Yes, and she's already admitted she did it.

He was stabbed twice.

You've seen the size of my little sister, David.

You know she's barely got the strength in her to do it once, let alone twice.

-Wishful thinking, Joey.

-You know Michael was trying to kill Janine, don't you?

Yeah. He was going to give her a whole load of pills.

That is how far she'd pushed him.

She killed him, David.

And I ain't going to rest until everyone knows it.

-Mum!

-Hi, darling.

-Hey, love.

-I'm sorry.

-It's a bit late for that.

-It's all right. No harm done, eh?

-I'm going to go.

-You really have let me down, Lauren. You know that, don't you?

It's all here in black and white, Mrs Branning.

You've been overpaying us for four months now.

-No!

-By my calculations, that means we owe you

£29.70.

I say. Well, what an unexpected treat.

Can I be crude and offer you that in cash?

It couldn't have come at a better time.

Cos I'm saving up, you see, to buy my little granddaughter,

Dotty, a new pair of trainers.

Well, seeing as it's the season of goodwill...

let's forget about the 30p change, shall we?

Oh, thank you very much. I'll show you out, shall I?

I must say, it's nice to have a happy customer for once.

May Jesus bless you this Christmas.

-Goodbye, Mrs Branning.

-Bye.

"CAROL OF THE BELLS" PLAYS

Got enough for one more?

No...

Oh, no...

Right, I've got to go. You sure you're going to be all right?

Yeah.

See you tomorrow.

Hold your horses. You owe me a drink.

I don't owe you anything.

You had no right interfering.

I was defending you.

You've just made things a hundred times worse.

Oh? Why's that?

I really don't need this right now.

He's really got to you, ain't he?

I can handle Joey.

He's saying that you killed Michael.

Apparently you had a score to settle.

-Yeah, well, Joey says a lot of stupid things.

-It's slander.

It's none of your business.

You naughty girl.