17/04/2014 EastEnders


17/04/2014

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HE HUMS

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Wow!

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You don't think it's too much?

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You look beautiful.

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Thank you.

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I just popped in to say good luck for the interview.

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-Oh, well, it's only the local rag.

-Yeah, well, erm...

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I'm very proud of you.

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Why don't you come by after your round,

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if you're...not doing anything else.

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Yeah?

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Morning! I didn't invite you over so you could stuff your face.

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Billy didn't have anything in.

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There's a surprise. Now are you going to be on the stall all day?

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Yeah. Is that why you wanted to see me?

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Yeah. The guy from the Walford Gazette will want to talk to you. And you, Luce.

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-I can't. I'm up to my eyes today.

-It won't take you long.

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Sorry. I'm at the flats all day.

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You're going to be there, aren't you, love?

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If you still want me... not sure why though.

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Of course I do! You're my fiancee - nice to have the support of at least some of my family.

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Cindy's going to be there. I'm showing her the ropes on the stall

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-so she can help out.

-Do you have to do that today?

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Come on, it's not going to be that easy to explain away a teenage pregnancy, is it?

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Don't all rush.

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-Need your autograph.

-Yeah.

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There you go, I know what that is.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Here, hang on a minute, have a look...

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I tell you what, she has done a cracking job...

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Look at that.

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You've got jam on your tie.

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I'm not wearing a tie.

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No, the other one.

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Oh. Cheers, mate.

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The secret is to mash the sardines in with the jam.

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I'm actually going to vom...

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Just... Just ignore him.

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So what I was thinking is...

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First I'll introduce the players,

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and then I'll make something up about them, like...

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"Max versus Phil,

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"let's hope they don't mistake their heads for the balls."

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-Ha-ha! Nice!

-Yeah?

-Like it.

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Why would they?

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Because they're both bald.

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Well, that's not funny.

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What would you know about funny, Gramps?

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Only funny thing about you is that ridiculous sandwich you're making.

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It's the universe lining things up, John Boy.

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All the girls you deflect have got to go somewhere.

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You only kissed her cos Lucy never showed up.

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Oh! You're not still banging on about Whitney, are you?

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I just don't want to see her hurt.

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-It was only a snog, stop being a woman.

-Oi, that's mine!

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-Not any more.

-Here, Johnny, put the kettle on, will you?

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Four sugars and I'll have my painkillers.

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-I think they're in the cupboard...

-No, no, no, he can do it himself.

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If he's well enough to get arrested...

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you're well enough to put a kettle on.

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-It's no bother.

-See, the boy don't mind.

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And full-fat, mind - I don't want any of that skimmed rubbish.

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Listen, they're not here to run about after you.

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It's a cup of tea, Dad. Do you want one?

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No. I'll do my own cup of tea.

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Here, Nancy wants your help with this pool thing she's running.

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-No, I don't.

-All right. Have you sorted out your seedings and pairings yet?

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You don't want too many walkovers cos people get too bored.

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-It's all right if you can't get your head around it, I'll help.

-I said I don't need your help.

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-All right. I'm just saying I'm good at this stuff, that's all.

-Course he is.

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Your heart's in the right place but everyone knows pool's a man's game.

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Ooh, sexism and sardines -

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the perfect breakfast!

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Come on, shock me. How many women have entered this tournament?

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I said full-fat, you great jessie!

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Great.

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It's annoying that tomorrow's a Bank Holiday.

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Yeah, well, we can still offload the rest.

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Look how many we've got rid of already.

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We'll just smash it all day tomorrow and then party at Roxy's.

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PHONE RINGS

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It's all right, you can answer it.

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No, it's not important.

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It might be a sale.

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It's not work.

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Lucy, is there anything that you want to talk about?

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No.

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Take it easy, you'll blunt the arrows.

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You know, you just want to take your foot off the pedal, kick back.

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It's not in me to relax. You know that.

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What is it Nan used to call you?

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Tasmanian Devil.

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Yeah. Tasmanian Devil, that's it...

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It's going to be all right.

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Yeah, course it will.

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Lightning don't strike twice, right?

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Anyway, I'm going to go for a jog. I'll catch you later.

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What you doing! Barging about!

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Idiot.

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You've got to make allowances.

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What? Cos he's in the Army or cos he's a plonker?

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Just give him a little bit of slack.

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And don't listen to the old man either.

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What, sexist Stan? It's water off a duck's back.

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I know you're excited about the tournament, but just don't worry.

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It's going to be a success.

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Go on.

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Love you.

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Love you!

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So, you're playing Whoopie Goldberg's part?

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Understudy, but I might go on tonight

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cos we've been lurching about

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and I'm one of the few that don't get seasick.

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Last night, Mother Superior vomited all over the front row.

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Mate, I couldn't even cover for her

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because every Wednesday and Saturdays I do my jazz medley.

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-You're singing jazz?!

-They can't get enough of me, you know.

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And we're doing a big Easter gig this week.

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So, you missing me?

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Yeah. Yeah, I miss having someone to talk to, yeah.

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How's Patrick?

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Hey, tell him we've got eight different types of rum on board.

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Well, he's in Trinidad.

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You lie! We're going there next week!

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-I'm going to hunt him down dressed like this!

-DENISE LAUGHS

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ha. It sounds like you're having a great time.

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Things have... Well, they've been a bit tense here.

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Mate, I never knew how much fun you can have

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being tossed about on a boat.

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And Mr Fox-Hubbard? Is the honeymoon period over?

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Oh, no... He adores me.

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I don't have to lift a finger.

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Well, you never did.

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And he is very attentive, if you know what I mean...

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No, I suppose you don't, innit? Cos you're with Ian.

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Denise, all I can say to you is... bless you, my child.

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Actually Ian's showing me off to the press later.

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And tomorrow we're going to Oxford to see Libby.

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He can't do enough for me.

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Oh. Nice.

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Who hasn't washed up their breakfast?

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Jam and sardines.

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I can't stand at that sink with my ankle.

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-Yes, you can.

-What are you, a doctor all of a sudden?

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I can't put any weight on it, it's agony.

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Right, well, you can dry then.

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Always ready to help.

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Never let it be said that I'm a burden...

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and you can put that on my gravestone.

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Who says you're going to get one?

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No-one's going to want to know where you're buried.

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Oh, very nice! What a lovely thing to say to a man who's got one foot in the grave.

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Nance, I was having a think, and I reckon you should...

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No, I know exactly what I'm doing!

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-I don't need you taking over.

-OK, I'm just trying to help.

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No, you're not. You're doing your usual - trying to push me out of something I want to do!

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-What's that meant to mean?

-You know exactly what I mean.

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You're trying to come up with something to prove to everyone how great you are.

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The pool is my thing, ain't it, Dad?

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-Course it is, baby.

-I've done all the pairings, all the seedings,

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I've done all the promotion and it's going to be really good

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-and it'll bring a load of customers in, so...

-All right, keep your hair on.

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-Sounds like she's trying to prove she's as good as you are, lad.

-I am as good as him!

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OK, put your money where your mouth is. Why not enter yourself in the tournament?

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I've already told you - I can't, I'm running it.

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-You can do both, can't you?

-Yeah, go on, I dare you.

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Fine. If you can deal with being thrashed by a girl!

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Go on, then, Nance. Now that's fighting talk...

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DISH SMASHES

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Whoops! Butterfingers.

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230 quid for this!

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It is perfect for our decor.

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Yeah, but for 230 quid I want it in silver!

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Ian, it's not just your money any more.

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I know, but it's 230 quid...

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Ian! I'm not having you moaning about costs

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and taking the shine off this for me.

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-Why is there a dead body outside my restaurant?

-OUR restaurant.

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Look, are you sure you're all right?

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Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

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I don't know, it seems like you've just got a lot on your mind.

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No, I'm fine.

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Right, you find out about those council tenants

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and I'll head over to the flat and chase up those leads.

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Yeah, all right, I shouldn't be too long.

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Cindy, pass me the bananas.

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Come here, come here.

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What are you doing? Get off of me!

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What do you think you're playing at?

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What are you talking about?

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This!

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-Lucy, you ain't going to blackmail me. Do you understand me?

-Who took that?

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-That's exactly what I want to know. So, go on, who have you been talking to?

-No-one.

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I swear.

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Do you really think I want people knowing about us?

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So where did it come from?

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Just an e-mail.

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Didn't recognise the address.

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So someone's spying on us?

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I'm trying to look on the bright side. But this isn't Spring Lane.

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No, it isn't Spring Lane.

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And it's not going to be Spring Lane once they flatten it.

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Now, come on, what's our motto?

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Come on, say it.

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-Oh, Birdie!

-Say it.

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Life's too short.

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Exactly.

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Come on, the people round here are all very friendly.

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Here, is that your death wagon?!

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Oh! Some respect for the departed, please.

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You'll have to shift it.

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I can't have a dead body outside my restaurant!

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We're on our way to a funeral.

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You'll have to get that car to back up.

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HORN TOOTS

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Oi, Beale! Has this got anything to do with you?

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You're going to have to reverse.

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I ain't backing up for you.

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I can't reverse now, can I? Now move that hearse! Come on.

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He can't reverse, he's got a coffin in the back.

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-If I have to get out of here you'll be needing a coffin - now move it!

-Why me? Why is it always me?!

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Pam Coker.

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-Jane Beale.

-We've bought the lease on the charity shop.

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It's a nice area, isn't it?

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HORNS TOOT

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Just give him five minutes to offload the sign. I've got a reporter coming round...

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-I've warned you!

-All right, I'll get them to move.

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You're going to have to move, you're causing a jam! Come on. Move it, mate.

0:12:030:12:06

There's a man who lets things get to him.

0:12:060:12:08

-That way. All right! Go on.

-That never ends well, does it, Les?

0:12:080:12:12

No, Birdie, it doesn't.

0:12:120:12:14

You don't think it was Lauren, do you?

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No, no, she would have said something.

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You know what she's like, she can't hold back.

0:12:190:12:21

-So, you with that Carter boy now, or what?

-No.

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You can still talk to me.

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Don't.

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I know you say it's over. I can't just switch off how I feel, can I?

0:12:370:12:41

Look, you're going to have to.

0:12:420:12:44

Right, so you think you're some sort of big woman now, do you?

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Well, you ain't.

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Busy day?

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She must have just got caught up with something.

0:13:030:13:06

My calves are solid, I need a good old massage later,

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how are you fixed?

0:13:230:13:25

-To massage your legs?!

-Whatever you want.

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I don't know. I've got to look after Bianca's mum today,

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-she's not very well.

-I'm sorry.

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Yeah.

0:13:330:13:34

She's meant to have chemo this week, but she's just not well enough.

0:13:340:13:37

That's rough.

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I am really worried about her, to be honest.

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She's normally the strong one,

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but she ain't taking it very well.

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She's the closest thing I've got to a gran.

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Come here.

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Listen, I might be able to get away later.

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That's if your legs can last that long.

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Oh, yeah, I think they can.

0:14:140:14:16

We're completely family-focused.

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Simple, classic dishes.

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-Healthy options, zero trans fats.

-Bun-less burgers, if that's your thing.

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Even got sweet-potato fries.

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-But no compromise on taste.

-On taste!

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Anyone would think they were married.

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Let me introduce you to everyone. This is Jake, my sous-chef.

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Nice to meet you.

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And these are your staff, are they?

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No, no, this is Denise, my fiancee,

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soon to be a new addition to the Beale empire.

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And this is my boyfriend, Masood.

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I thought you were married.

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-BOTH:

-We were.

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Yeah, and now we're...

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..just business partners.

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-We've...

-..both moved on.

-Yeah.

0:15:060:15:09

How about we show you the kitchen, Jake?

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Yeah, this way.

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Well, Ian's in his element.

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This is exciting.

0:15:190:15:20

Yeah, it is.

0:15:200:15:22

You know, I've got a really good feeling about this.

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Have you?

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Well, the furniture's nice.

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Denise.

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Yes.

0:15:450:15:46

What's that for?

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Thanks for being here.

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I ain't done anything.

0:15:540:15:55

Oi, where you going with them?

0:16:040:16:06

Grandad said he wanted a beer.

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No, if he wants beer he can come downstairs and buy 'em.

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Put 'em back.

0:16:100:16:11

Although it's called Beale's and they work together

0:16:120:16:15

they're not married.

0:16:150:16:16

Well, they used to be, but they're divorced now.

0:16:160:16:18

Are you listening?

0:16:180:16:20

Always.

0:16:200:16:22

-Hello, stranger.

-Hi. I thought you might be with Whit.

0:16:280:16:31

I saw you kissing yesterday.

0:16:330:16:34

Oh, that was just a kiss.

0:16:370:16:39

It's all right...you're single.

0:16:390:16:41

You're not jealous then?

0:16:410:16:42

No, I'm happy for her.

0:16:420:16:45

I mean, it's been a while since a decent guy took any interest.

0:16:450:16:48

Is that right?

0:16:480:16:49

Yeah. And I'm pretty certain that she's stopped charging for sex,

0:16:490:16:52

so that's good for you.

0:16:520:16:54

It'll be good if we can salvage some of that wooden panelling from the old shop.

0:17:010:17:05

There's something very welcoming about mahogany.

0:17:050:17:07

There's room in that bedroom for more wardrobe space.

0:17:090:17:11

You hardly wear the dresses you've got.

0:17:110:17:13

I do. You can't say I don't.

0:17:130:17:16

I rotate. You never notice.

0:17:160:17:19

What am I wearing now? Don't...

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Don't you look.

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Black floral blouse, black jacket, black slacks.

0:17:250:17:28

-Lucky guess.

-Yeah.

0:17:290:17:31

Mr Coker, isn't it?

0:17:330:17:34

I just wondered if you and your good lady would like a bottle of wine,

0:17:340:17:38

on the house, of course, it's just I've got a little favour to ask.

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I'm off.

0:17:420:17:43

Where? Where?!

0:17:430:17:46

A favour?

0:17:460:17:48

And, Peter, how old are you?

0:17:510:17:52

I'm 20.

0:17:520:17:53

What's it like, working for your dad?

0:17:530:17:56

It's great. It's really good.

0:17:560:17:58

It's a shame my daughter couldn't be here as well.

0:17:580:18:00

She's 20, setting up her own business, she'll be the real success story of the family.

0:18:000:18:04

We'll all be working for the great Lucy one day.

0:18:040:18:07

-What's your name?

-Like I said, it's unfortunate Lucy couldn't be here,

0:18:070:18:10

but obviously she's busy with work. She really wanted to talk to you.

0:18:100:18:13

Yeah, she's really busy floating around the Square.

0:18:130:18:15

Right, that's it with the stall,

0:18:150:18:17

how about, as it's lunchtime, we move on to the chippie?

0:18:170:18:19

Do you like fish and chips, yeah?

0:18:190:18:21

Why do you let him put you down like that?

0:18:250:18:26

He wasn't putting me down.

0:18:260:18:28

She nicks his credit card,

0:18:280:18:30

she complains about him every chance she gets,

0:18:300:18:33

and still she's golden girl.

0:18:330:18:35

No, it's not like that.

0:18:350:18:37

Do you want to be treated like second-best all your life?

0:18:370:18:39

Didn't mean anything, kissing Whitney.

0:18:480:18:51

What, like kissing me?

0:18:510:18:53

Is that what you do? Go round kissing every girl?

0:18:530:18:56

Pretty much.

0:18:570:18:58

You know you shouldn't take any notice of me.

0:19:070:19:09

PHONE RINGS

0:19:090:19:13

You got your dad on your case?

0:19:180:19:20

Only when he wants something.

0:19:200:19:23

He doesn't usually take an interest.

0:19:230:19:25

You should go away for a bit. Like me.

0:19:270:19:30

I go away for months, come back, and they're all over me.

0:19:300:19:33

Can't go wrong. You should try it.

0:19:330:19:35

What, just disappear?

0:19:370:19:39

Don't tempt me.

0:19:420:19:44

So, do you like it in the army?

0:19:470:19:49

Yeah, and no.

0:19:510:19:53

I miss my family a lot.

0:19:540:19:56

And the downside to coming back is I have to start all over again.

0:19:590:20:03

You going to see Whit again?

0:20:090:20:12

I don't know... Am I?

0:20:120:20:16

Who the hell are you?

0:20:350:20:36

Les Coker, your son asked me to pop up and see you.

0:20:360:20:40

-Why?

-Well, it can be lonely... surrounded by family,

0:20:400:20:44

but feeling isolated and cut off.

0:20:440:20:47

I'm not cut off, I've got me wheelchair.

0:20:470:20:49

Your son thought you'd like to talk to me.

0:20:490:20:52

You're not from the Social, are you? Cos I'm not going into no home.

0:20:520:20:55

No, I'm an undertaker.

0:20:550:20:56

Undertaker?!

0:20:560:20:58

I know it's not easy, approaching the end...

0:20:580:21:00

Have you thought much about your funeral?

0:21:000:21:03

What's Mick been saying to you? Cos I ain't near the end!

0:21:030:21:06

You're very lucky to have such a loving son.

0:21:060:21:09

He said, and I quote,

0:21:090:21:11

"When it comes to burying my dad,

0:21:110:21:15

"money's no object."

0:21:150:21:16

Oh, well, you can tell him from me, I'll see him in a coffin first!

0:21:160:21:19

Sending you up here, preying on an old man!

0:21:190:21:22

I've years left in me! Years!

0:21:220:21:24

Go on, clear off out! Bleedin' vulture!

0:21:240:21:27

Oi, oi, you said you had one foot in the grave!

0:21:270:21:30

Is that what you had in mind?

0:21:300:21:31

You're my new hero.

0:21:310:21:33

Shirley would have paid to see that.

0:21:330:21:36

Now, how about a nice Scotch?

0:21:360:21:38

A large malt. Oh, and if I could just leave you my card...

0:21:380:21:40

just in case you ever do have need of my services.

0:21:400:21:43

Listen, I don't suppose I can buy that coffin before he bowls over.

0:21:430:21:46

-I spoke to Kim earlier.

-Yeah? Her new husband thrown her overboard yet?

0:21:490:21:53

She's having the time of her life.

0:21:530:21:55

Yeah? When's she coming back?

0:21:550:21:57

Didn't think I'd miss her so much, you know.

0:21:570:22:00

You can take people for granted, can't you?

0:22:000:22:04

I know I've taken you for granted. I know, and I'm sorry.

0:22:040:22:07

No, no, Ian. You're just a very busy man, that's all.

0:22:070:22:10

You looking forward to seeing Libby tomorrow?

0:22:120:22:15

Yeah, really looking forward.

0:22:150:22:17

You are still all right to come, aren't you?

0:22:180:22:21

Yeah, of course. You support me, I support you.

0:22:210:22:25

Ian, no, it's not about support. She's my daughter,

0:22:250:22:27

and when we're married she'll be part of your family.

0:22:270:22:29

Yeah, I tell you what, that reporter talking about the stall

0:22:290:22:32

got me thinking about my gran and my dad...

0:22:320:22:35

Peter and Lucy, they're going to have kids,

0:22:350:22:37

and then they'll have kids,

0:22:370:22:39

and pretty soon I'll be the old man sat in the corner

0:22:390:22:42

-wondering where his life went.

-It's a good life, Ian.

0:22:420:22:45

I think me dad would be proud.

0:22:470:22:49

-Come on, shouldn't you be getting back to the Minute Mart?

-Hang on.

0:22:490:22:53

You should be reflective more often. It suits you.

0:22:560:23:01

That went well.

0:23:030:23:05

It did, didn't it?

0:23:050:23:08

Well, it looked like it.

0:23:080:23:09

And I managed to get more than two words in, which is surprising

0:23:090:23:12

considering Ian turned it into a piece all about his empire.

0:23:120:23:15

Well... That's Ian.

0:23:150:23:17

Thank you.

0:23:200:23:21

There's not many men that would be OK

0:23:210:23:23

about their girlfriends going into business with their ex-husbands.

0:23:230:23:26

Well, you just remember that

0:23:260:23:27

when you're opening your chain of restaurants.

0:23:270:23:30

Chain of restaurants!

0:23:300:23:31

-As if.

-Oh, it'll happen.

0:23:310:23:33

I just hope you don't end up ditching your postman

0:23:330:23:35

when you're flying high.

0:23:350:23:36

You don't really think that, do you?

0:23:380:23:41

HE LAUGHS

0:23:410:23:43

Course not.

0:23:430:23:45

Anyway it's going to take up a lot of your time, isn't it?

0:23:450:23:49

I'll still make time for you.

0:23:490:23:51

We don't open till Monday, so why don't we do something nice tomorrow?

0:23:530:23:56

What have you got in mind?

0:23:560:23:57

We could go away, we could go down the coast,

0:23:570:23:59

paddle in the sea, wear kiss-me-quick hats.

0:23:590:24:02

You don't have to take me to the coast to kiss me.

0:24:020:24:04

-PHONE RINGS

-Oh...

0:24:040:24:06

Sorry.

0:24:060:24:07

Oh, yeah, I've got to take this.

0:24:080:24:10

Hello. Yes, this is Jane Beale.

0:24:100:24:13

Cindy!

0:24:150:24:16

What was that in front of the journalist?

0:24:160:24:18

-What?

-Just keep your remarks to yourself.

0:24:180:24:21

It's not right, the way you mug Peter off.

0:24:210:24:23

Lucy gets away with murder!

0:24:230:24:25

No, I'm tired of this, OK? I've been really good to you.

0:24:250:24:29

I've taken you in, I feed you, I deal with you...

0:24:290:24:31

getting pregnant, and still you stir the pot.

0:24:310:24:34

Luckily for me, no-one's interested in what you've got to say.

0:24:340:24:38

So you don't want to know about Lucy's police record then?

0:24:380:24:40

Oh, didn't know about that, did you?

0:24:420:24:44

Why are you so jealous of Lucy?

0:24:440:24:46

I'm not jealous! She got arrested for shoplifting in Devon.

0:24:460:24:51

You're lying!

0:24:510:24:53

Because she'd tell you(?)

0:24:530:24:54

You don't know the first thing about Lucy.

0:24:540:24:57

You don't even know what she keeps in her jewellery box.

0:24:570:24:59

Oh, hi.

0:25:290:25:31

Hi.

0:25:310:25:32

-Is Lee around?

-He went out. You should text him.

0:25:320:25:35

I haven't got his number.

0:25:350:25:37

Why don't you stay for a drink and I'll dig it out for you?

0:25:390:25:41

OK.

0:25:430:25:44

What are you having?

0:25:480:25:49

Whatever you're having.

0:25:490:25:50

Hello?

0:25:560:25:58

Dad?

0:25:590:26:01

Drink?

0:26:070:26:09

Surprise me.

0:26:090:26:10

-Nice.

-Yeah. I'd make a better job running it than my dad ever will, though.

0:26:120:26:15

Full of big ideas, then?

0:26:150:26:17

Not just ideas.

0:26:170:26:19

I am actually going to make a success of my life.

0:26:190:26:21

Yeah, I can tell. You seem a lot older than you are.

0:26:210:26:24

-Really?

-Yeah.

0:26:240:26:26

Come here.

0:26:290:26:30

Your dad's an idiot if he's not proud of you, you know that?

0:26:520:26:55

Hang on.

0:27:010:27:03

Just wait!

0:27:030:27:04

Sorry, can't help myself.

0:27:040:27:06

You're so beautiful.

0:27:120:27:14

Am I?

0:27:160:27:18

Oi, oi...

0:27:210:27:23

Hey, shush.

0:27:250:27:28

LUCY SOBS

0:27:280:27:30

Ian?

0:27:370:27:39

Ian, are you in?

0:27:390:27:42

Look, I've had a call from a florist who can do us a really good deal...

0:27:420:27:45

-What are you doing?

-I need to see what's inside.

0:27:470:27:50

Oh, Ian, you can't do that, it's Lucy's.

0:27:500:27:52

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0:27:520:27:55

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