15/04/2014 EastEnders

What have you done this time?

Why do you always think that I've done something?

What are you doing? Measuring me up for double glazing?

HE SCOFFS

There's just this guy.

Police?

-He's not police.

-Well, you don't look like you're expecting him

to deliver you flowers.

You're going to give yourself a heart attack.

I'll pop the kettle on, yeah?

Milk in last, not like your cousin Lee does.

And then you can tell me who's after you.

You want to be silly and have a fight over it,

-we'll give you a fight over it.

-There's room for everyone.

Come on, Linda's got the right idea.

Do you think I'm scared of your cheap tat?

-Oh, cheap tat, is it?

-Look at you two.

-Wouldn't know good clothes if they hit you in the face.

-Oh, shut up.

-Maybe we should push the boat out and get some booze.

-Yeah.

They're students. We can just get some wine and lager and stuff.

Dad, we can still borrow your car, yeah?

Yeah. It's an open day, not a party.

Few free drinks while they're looking around the flats...

Then we get them to sign.

That's going to cost a pretty penny, innit?

Not as much as you think.

Looking for romance, yeah?

Give it a break, will you?

You can't keep your eyes off them.

I am NOT interested.

-There you go. Watch your speed.

-Good luck!

-It ain't about luck.

-You'll be fine. Break a leg.

Well...don't.

What if I can't do this?

Just go for the boys, they're easy. Flirt until they sign.

-Right, and how's she going to do that?

-Dad!

Go on, get me to sign for a flat, if it's so easy.

What? Eurgh! No! She ain't going to flirt with you, is she?

-Suited and booted again?

-I'm going to be late.

So, it's my last week's leave before I go off and see the world again.

I'm busy. Got a whole block of student flats to rent.

You're breaking my heart. What about a drink later?

-Oi, didn't you hear her? She's busy.

-Who are you, her dad?

-Very funny. Who's the joker?

-Johnny's brother.

-You all right?

-You all right?

So?

Not interested.

Smile says different.

It was you, wasn't it?

-Let's go.

-You stole my credit card to pay for all that booze!

Well, maybe I'm not the only one with a lot to learn.

Everyone will get a pitch.

Yeah, but where? We want ours.

I've been Spring Lane 15 years.

-And that will be taken into account.

-What're you talking about?

SHOUTING

Oh, sorry. Oh!

-You all right?

-You're all sweaty!

This? This ain't nothing.

Oh, is it spray it on?

If you want to work up a sweat...

Wow! You're full of yourself, ain't you?

-Just a bit of banter.

-Well, my boyfriend works in that pub.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, and he gets a bit jealous.

And he was in the army. So...

-Best behave myself then, eh?

-Yeah.

SHOUTING CONTINUES

I can't tell you any more. I'm sorry.

Wow, someone's popular today, aren't they?

I had to tell them about the merger of the markets.

Rather you than me. Listen, come for dinner tonight, yeah?

We're celebrating Lola coming out of hospital.

I don't think your sister would like that.

Well, it was my sister's idea.

So what've you nicked from him?

I haven't nicked anything.

You come into my gaff, great big bag on you...

Happy?

So you nicked his socks?

I haven't nicked anything!

Then you nicked his girl.

How many times have I told you...

It's not his girl.

He's Annie's brother.

You move in, she starts getting headaches, you go elsewhere,

she finds you with your drawers down.

She found a load of text messages.

Ain't nobody ever shown you where the "delete" button is?

When she starts getting headaches,

never ever stop bothering her for it.

Moment you stop bothering, she knows you've got your away kit on.

I sold her a line over the messages.

But she walked in on us.

And you don't dump on your own doorstep!

You'll be telling me next it's her best mate.

I've been in hospital, you know? I'm supposed to be resting.

It's a good job I turned up.

I've been at Mick's. With your mother.

That why you're back then? Florence Nightingale's on the vodka?

You ought to go and see her. She'd like that.

Just here for a few days, yeah?

And don't go bringing no girls back.

Goes for you too.

-Right, do you want to take that?

-Yep.

-All right?

-Yeah.

Since when were students actually on time?

You ready for this?

-As I'll ever be.

-Fine.

Can I get a tea, please?

All right, Whit.

Anyone sitting there? Or is that your pretend boyfriend?

He's a prat, ain't he?

He's a good-looking prat.

When I was in the army, there were blokes in there that used to

pretend they had girls back home.

Never known of girls back home pretending

they had blokes in the army.

Look, I know you've got more reason than most.

But remember what I said.

People who put up walls sometimes get stuck behind 'em.

Yeah.

It was his decision.

Yeah, Lady Di's been sick...in the living room.

What?

-What?

-We should go and help him.

-He's fine.

-He could have taken it different.

-He's our dad.

-He shouldn't've been here in the first place.

-He's old, Auntie Shirley.

-He hasn't lost his marbles, has he?

-He can't walk, and he's on his own.

-He's had plenty of practice.

Cheeky beggar.

Can I have a tea to go and can I have an iced bun as well, please?

Someone's perked up.

You worried about me, are you?

I was more worried about Phil's car.

Are yous two talking now or...?

Yeah. It was nothing.

-Yeah. We're fine.

-Good, cos I've got a favour.

Ronnie's asked me to go round for dinner, and...

Dinners are a little bit awkward between me

and her and Peter can't come. Could you come?

Look, I'm really sorry, Lola, but I've got this essay.

Abi, you're a genius, come on, it would only take you five minutes!

Free pizza?

-Well, I could go.

-Yeah.

Well, I knew it wasn't socks.

I'm storing them for a friend.

Who you're playing hide and seek with?

OK. He is Annie's brother.

He's just got a different idea of what 50-50 is.

That why she kicked you out?

Come on, Grandad!

You blag your way into my home when I'm at death's door...

You're not at death's door!

You use my washing machine to fence stolen goods?

Look...

And you don't offer me a cut?

Well, they're not going to sell themselves, are they?

-She stole my credit card!

-Better call the police then.

-I'm not getting the police involved.

-If she's stealing from you.

All right, "used her initiative."

Oh, so you're proud of her now?

Course! I'm proud of her like you're proud of Libby.

Only Libby worked for her success.

And Lucy's worked for hers!

I thought she stole it?

Shall we say she...borrowed it.

With a business guru like you for a dad I'm sure she'll be a huge success.

She's got a long way to go until she's half as successful as me.

They've only gone and signed two flats already!

-What, in an hour?

-Yeah. She's going to be unbearable now, ain't she?

Long way to go, ain't she?

Two flats in an hour is not a success.

What? Cos she hasn't got a restaurant, which hasn't even opened yet?

And which you've poured a small fortune into.

Yeah, but hold on a minute, you two, with the markets merging...

Oh, yes, which we're all very grateful for.

No. Our opening, right, is going to be massive.

Tell you what, it's going to be bigger than massive.

It's going to be massively massive.

Yes. I'm sure it will be.

Now you've got your new family photograph.

And obviously the whole open plan thing is great for parties.

And you'd have a room each.

Which would be perfect if you're - you know - entertaining.

Walford Common's just there.

You could have a barbecue, have a few girls over.

Grab another drink and I'll show you where to sign.

So, it's not going to stay empty for long - have a think about it.

Here's my card. Give me a call.

Free any time.

Being a bit full-on, ain't ya?

What, you've never flirted to get a sale?

-You all right?

-What're you doing here?

I can't believe how quickly they're going.

It's London, ain't it?

Yeah, and razor sharp agents!

See, Lucy trusted me.

Unlike you. Turning up here cos you heard I had alcohol.

No. I just come to give my little girl a bit of support.

Well, she's working.

I'm going to go see if anyone's looking lost.

Guy at the petrol station's usually good for stuff.

You get rid of that half of that... KNOCK AT DOOR

Lost you, did he?

Don't.

BANGING CONTINUES You damage my paintwork...!

Give him two minutes. He'll get bored.

Two minutes I won't have a door.

KNOCKING CONTINUES

Look. I'm an old man. What's he going to do?

Grandad...

BANGING CONTINUES

I've got a panic button, you know?

Two minutes, this place'll be crawling with police.

-That was quick.

-Mr Carter?

We've a warrant to search your premises.

Search my premises? Who's been talking? Hey! Where're you going?

Won't take a moment, sir.

Just a minute, what is all this?

Oh, the window... It's smoking. Filthy habit.

I try and blow it out of the window,

but when the wind is in the no...

Anything you want to tell me, sir?

-What are you playing at?

-What're you talking about? I ain't playing at nothing!

-You don't come to my work!

-Lucy, you was the one kissing me

in the kitchen last week with Lauren next door.

Don't you feel bad, Max? She's my best friend.

She's your daughter!

No, she don't know nothing, does she?

You heard her. If she knew...

But she don't know, does she? And she ain't going to find out.

I don't know why I'm doing this.

Cos you like it. That's why.

Lucy, I'm a mess.

You're a mess. That's why it works.

I understand you. Better than Lauren does, or your dad.

Lucy, look - everyone's happier, ain't they?

-Since we started seeing each other.

-We're not seeing each other!

All right. Since we started this. Whatever this is.

I'm not miserable, me and the girls are getting on.

You - you're flying at work. It works, Lucy.

You know it does.

I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have come here.

But it's a buzz, ain't it?

You love it as much as I do.

Your heart starts pumping.

Makes you feel alive.

How's life at the council?

You coming for pool on the weekend? Twonk!

Oh! Really. Listen,

I was wondering, who is the best person to speak to at the Gazette?

Really?

Can I get you a drink? How about a nice cold beer?

Bet you missed a nice cold beer, didn't you? Bottle or a pint?

Dad told you, didn't he?

Told me what?

Thought it was Johnny you always worried about?

That's not true! I mean - it is.

But I worry about you an' all.

I worry about all my kids. That's what mums do.

You don't have to.

I, um...I get it.

Why you told them and not me.

I didn't want to...

Lee, it's OK, but...

I want you to know that I wouldn't have looked at you any different.

And if you want to get out.

I'll love you just the same.

I would never turn my back on you.

Whatever happens, I'm here.

It's my last week's leave. I just want to have fun.

All right, babe.

You're going to get him, ain't you?

No... I'm just going to go and check he's settled in OK.

He don't need you, Mick.

He don't need any of us. He never has.

I don't think you've been listening. I was broken into...

And you reported it, sir?

I've been in hospital! With a broken ankle!

I'm sorry I didn't pop back to check my kitchen cupboards for you.

There was no food in them when I left.

I don't know if you've ever tried living on a pension?

She looks so beautiful.

Yeah. She's really clingy today.

Hardly surprising, is it?

No. I bet she's missed her mummy, hasn't she?

Hey, Rox said it could be months before you move.

Yeah. These things happen, don't they?

I can't believe you're being so calm about it!

There's always going be a bed for you at my place.

Drinks. Who wants more drinks?

I'll give Ronnie a hand.

Me and you - we're all right, ain't we?

Yeah. Course we are.

Last week, before...

Yeah. I know.

I wasn't trying to...

-Well, I meant it.

-OK.

Thank you. Thank you.

One more!

I'm telling you, my feet are killing me, but we done it!

Thank you. I mean it.

You are a proper mate.

Why don't you go home?

No, I didn't mean...

I'm saying, as your joint boss you can go.

Take the car. I'll tidy up this mess.

-You did a good job.

-You sure?

Go, before I change my mind.

All right.

-Thank you. See ya!

-See ya.

I bumped into Terry earlier.

-What'd he want?

-Just to see how we are.

Yeah, well, he should stop getting involved, shouldn't he?

Not just him though, is it?

All this stuff that's going on - it doesn't just affect you.

-It affects me an' all.

-I know.

Do you think I'm always going to put up walls with guys?

You've got good reason to. It won't be like that forever.

No? Look at you.

This really ain't the right time.

That's kind of my point.

-Whit, I don't want a fella.

-Why don't you feel you're missing out?

I've got to go. I've got to pick the kids up.

See you later, yeah.

Drinking alone?

Not any more.

I'm covering Nancy's shift, so...

This your boyfriend then?

Ignore this idiot. He was flirting with me earlier.

Think your "boyfriend" bats for the other team, love.

You not met my brother? Lee.

Lee, we playing or not?

-Lance Corporal Carter. Nice to meet you.

-Yeah.

Erm... Boyfriend?

It was a joke.

I said you were the one in the army.

-Ah! Ohhh!

-Yeah.

Mick?

Mick!

It's the police.

So while I've got you all here - I've got a little surprise.

For my sister.

Oh?

Ronnie!

Had you going, didn't I?

-You are evil!

-We hope you'll be really happy there!

-Thank you.

Be a bit weird though,

moving back into your dad's old place after everything...

Billy. Billy!

I didn't mean...

It's all right. Anyway. To new starts.

New starts. ALL: New starts.

-Handling stolen goods?

-It'll never stick.

-So what were they?

-What were what?

Come on, you're not in the nick now. The goods.

-Stuff.

-What sort of stuff?

Just stuff. My stuff.

And were they?

Were they what?

Chored?

You going to drop me off or what?

Why don't you come back to ours?

I don't think so.

I, er...

Lady Di misses ya.

HE CHUCKLES

I...I know...that, um,

you was right and I was wrong and...

..I'm...I'm sorry I doubted ya.

Whatever trouble you're in, whatever you've done...

..it's none of my business.

So...why don't you...

..come home?

So, did you let them all?

Yeah. Most of them.

Half of them.

Well, most of them or half of them isn't all of them, is it?

Well done.

Thanks. Oh, and, um...

..thanks for that.

I'll invoice you when I get my credit card bill. Plus interest.

No takers?

Plenty.

Then why the face? Get bored of the pretty one?

You want cheering up?

No. You're all right.

Hey listen, me and you last week...

Look, I am too messed up for you.

No, you ain't. You want messed up?

I'll give you messed up.

Come on, support our boys in uniform and all that.

You're the fittest girl I've seen in years.

Since the girl you said that to yesterday?

Yeah, she knocked me back an' all.

You really don't know how beautiful you are, do you?

Well, look, if you change your mind, I'll be in the Vic.

You know Billy didn't mean it like that, don't you?

It's OK. I've moved on.

-Yeah?

-Mm-hm.

-From everything?

If people want to talk, let them.

Well, bagsy choosing first room.

Listen, shall we give them something to talk about?

Amy's away this weekend, isn't she?

So why don't we have the biggest house-warming party

you've ever seen?

And then we move in.

-OK.

-Definitely?

-Yeah!

-OK.

THEY LAUGH

You're like a yo-yo.

Have to get a revolving door soon.

-He's had a bit of agg' With the Old Bill.

-What? Incredible.

-What's this? Jailbreak?

-A little misunderstanding.

-What have you done?

-He ain't done nothing.

So what's he doing back here?

Your brother very kindly asked me to stay.

-Has he now?

-Yes, he has.

And it seemed churlish not to accept.

I'll have a bottle of stout, please, Tina.

Not too much head on it.

I think we got off on the wrong foot.

-Imaginary boyfriend?

-I did think you were hitting on me.

Maybe I was.

Can I buy you a drink?

Walford Gazette are coming Thursday.

Article on polygamy?

No, it's about the restaurant.

I'd really like you to do it with me.

Please?

Sure.

So what's all this, then? These your photos?

-Yeah.

-You going to get 'em to use one?

Um...

They're just...proofs.

About what I said earlier - I shouldn't have let you.

All right, but you did.

I don't want this any more.

I don't.

Max, this is wrong. This is so wrong.

I've got a chance, OK? Something good.

Someone who could...be right.

So who is it, then?

Doesn't matter.

Could be Mr Right And it don't matter?

You don't know him.

Got to be lover boy from last week, ain't it?

-It's got nothing do with you.

-I think it has, Lucy.

-If you're dumping me for a one-night stand...

-Wasn't a one-night stand.

-Right. So you're seeing him again?

-No.

Right. So let me work it out. One plus none equals...

-Oh, yes...

-All right, it was a one-night stand.

But it doesn't have to be. It could be something more.

I know it's this...Carter lad.

What's his name? Lee?

He's a little boy. What's he going to do? Use you.

What, like you do?

Because I don't see what I get from this.

I don't want to sneak around behind people's backs.

I don't want to be with someone that I can't be with in public.

I want someone who wants me...

..someone who looks at me and thinks I'm special.

I've got that chance, Max. So I'm going to take it.

I know you're there. Saw you when I come in.

Talking to yourself again?

Sign of madness.

With any luck, you should be able to lock me away soon.

Don't expect her to tuck you in later.

You owe me a favour. A big one.

I did tell you not to answer the door.

And I'll be calling it in soon.

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