29/09/2014 EastEnders

WHISTLING

Ain't changed your mind, then?

This is the last place you should be, this wedding going on.

What wedding?

SHE CHUCKLES

SHE WHISTLES

SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE

Well, this is a joke, yeah?

It's not going to happen, all right? I'm not going to let you do this.

I do not believe it, why didn't you just tell me before? Huh?!

Well, look it doesn't matter, because I'm going to be an auntie

in, what, like, four, five months?

-Um, four.

-You're five months gone?

Oh, congratulations, Roxanne, you didn't even use your fingers.

Hold on a minute, so you were pregnant when you left,

so why didn't you just tell me?

Why did you go off like that?

It's Charlie's, isn't it?

(It's Charlie's.)

Oh, there you are, I've been looking everywhere for you.

-Ronnie, how lovely to see you.

-Hi.

Good job I bumped into Dot.

Yes, well, you've found Roxy now, Sal, so we'd better get a move on.

Er, Roxy, it's the bride what's supposed to be fashionably late,

-not the bloomin' bridesmaid.

-Yes! Yes, yes, yes.

OK, Amy, come on. Come on, let's go.

Come on, out you come.

Right, I tell you what, I will meet you there.

You go with Fats, OK?

Er, OK. I thought you was coming with us.

No, I've got something I need to discuss first.

OK. Do you want some ice cream?

Yeah? Come on, then, we'll go and get some ice cream.

ROXY: Come on, out we go. Let's go.

-Not a problem, is it?

-No, no, just a family matter.

-I am family.

-Me and my sister.

Charming(!)

No, I need it today, they're going to be back in an hour.

I know it's short notice, I know it is.

I've just... I've had an accident with the last cake, all right?

So can you just please...?

We're closed.

There's a private party tonight.

What are you doing back here?

Ian...

What, has she left something in her room? What?

Mick, just give us a minute.

-MAN ON PHONE:

-'Hello? ..Hello?!'

Right, cake.

-Go park up, we'll see you inside, all right, mate?

-Yeah.

-All right.

-See you in a sec, Jay.

-See ya.

-You all right?

-Yeah, all right.

-You look good.

-Cheers, Dad.

I've already told her the score.

You get inside. I'll sort this out.

Nah, leave it to me. This is the last thing you need.

Ben! Get inside.

SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE

I've been thinking about it for days,

we both have, me and Chelle.

I mean, I nearly phoned you a hundred times,

but I knew that if I did that you wouldn't listen to me.

I knew I had to tell you face-to-face what a mistake this is.

Well, ten out of ten for timing.

I couldn't help it, my plane was delayed, wasn't it?

I got here as quick as I could. I thought I was going to be too late.

Well, you are too late.

I'm getting married in just over half an hour.

Right, then you've still time to back out.

I don't want to back out.

Shirley, what are you doing here?

Same as you. I've come to watch the floor show.

I told you, there ain't going to be one, all right? Just a wedding.

Now, I'm getting married to Sharon. End of story.

What about me and you?

There ain't a "me and you".

So what's all this over the past couple of weeks?

I got it wrong, all right? I got Sharon wrong.

But, well, things are different now, because we've talked, you know.

We've talked about everything - about the Albert,

-about the wedding...

-About you and me?

Not quite everything, eh?

-Everything that mattered.

-Sure about that?

-What's that supposed to mean?

-This is about Ben, yeah?

What I said to you, that you can't have both - me and him.

You know, Phil, you probably ain't even going to have to choose,

Ben'll be long gone soon and who you're going to be left with

is that bimbo!

It's got nothing to do with Ben, all right? Sharon...

Sharon's the one I want.

No, this is to do with you trying to get back something

that you never had in the first place.

She chose your own brother over you.

But I'm choosing you, Phil.

Just you.

And you'd chosen me too.

That's the way it's always going to be. You know it. Me and you.

Tell me that I'm wrong.

Tell me that I'm wrong, and I'll leave you alone.

You know, I could show you something

that might change your mind about your precious Sharon.

Shirl? What are you doing here?

She ain't doing anything.

You ain't said it yet, Phil.

Shirley's just going.

He won't be stopping either.

-Oh, well, at least the groom's arrived.

-Everything OK?

Course it is. Couldn't be better.

I'm getting married, ain't I?

Ron, this is crazy.

I mean, I worked it out in under a minute,

how long do you think it's going to take Charlie to work it out?

-He can think what he likes.

-Well, he's going to think plenty.

It don't matter so long as he doesn't actually know,

-and no-one tells him.

-Oh, amazing(!)

So now you're asking me to lie to him.

He's a nice guy, Ronnie, he doesn't deserve this.

Look, you know what it was like for me before, all right,

with Jack, with Joel - everyone.

When I'm with someone else it never works,

when I'm by myself, I'm fine.

You're not, you're not by yourself, are you?

There's a little baby involved.

-My baby.

-His baby too.

No, my baby, no-one else's.

ROXY GROANS

OK, so when this baby starts asking about his daddy,

who, by the way, is living here, I don't know if you know that?

-What?

-Yeah. Yeah, they all had to move out of Dot's house.

He could walk through the door at any minute.

Well... Look, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

So, in other words...in other words, you're going to lie to the kid too.

I mean, what about Aunt Sal,

how long do you think it's going to take till she blabs?

She's probably telling Dot right now.

And anyway, Ron...

just because it hasn't worked out before,

it doesn't mean it won't this time.

-I know what I'm doing.

-Yeah, you're running scared.

No, I'm not running anywhere.

You're not standing where I'm standing.

-And I'm not scared.

-Seeing what I'm seeing.

Who are you to lecture me anyway?

I'm your sister.

Oh, yeah, that's right, I forgot.

The one who's all settled, who's all sorted,

who's finally got everything she ever wanted.

I didn't say that.

Look, just because everything is rosy in your life,

doesn't give you the right to tell me what to do with mine.

-Roxy?

-All right, suit yourself.

What?

TOILET FLUSHES

DOOR OPENS

What's happening?

How do you mean?

With Sharon?

She's getting married.

What's she done?

Who?

Shirley.

No, she's in there with Ian.

Someone died?

SHARON: I mean, OK, you and Phil...

Well, you're never going to be bosom buddies,

but these past few months...

Yeah, I know, we've been getting on better.

He's been there for you.

He held you in his arms when you were in bits over Lucy.

I mean, he stood in that press conference willing you on.

I mean, he even covered for you with Rainie...

Yeah, and he turned a sweet little kid into a killer.

Oh, that is not fair.

Sharon, when Ben came back from South Africa, right,

that boy wouldn't have said boo to a goose.

Now he's banged up.

He's home.

He's what?

He's living with us.

He's at the registry office now, waiting for me to marry his dad.

Look, OK, I know what he did, it was a huge mistake...

-A what?

-..of course...

But he's done his time.

All right, and why did he make that huge mistake?

What, so you're saying that's all Phil's fault?

Yeah, he can't help it.

Look, Sharon, I don't know whether it's down to his screwed-up mum

his old man, I don't know, I don't care.

All I know is I watched him destroy my mum and my brother

and I did nothing about it.

Look, please...

Ian, I'm going to be late.

And I'm not going to let him do it to my best friend.

Up there, round to the right. See you up there.

What you still doing here, Shirl? Not exactly dressed for a wedding.

Maybe I know something you don't.

Meaning?

Wait and see.

You know, I was saying to Lola last night...

..I don't think I've ever seen Phil look this happy,

not in all the years I've known him.

But then you always were a plank, weren't you, Billy?

So you don't think so?

I think I know Phil better than you do.

Sometimes you've got to accept that things just don't work out.

And you'd know all about that, wouldn't you?

I know when to call it quits.

And I know that there's some battles that you're never going to win.

Maybe some of us just don't have the stomach for it.

This battle's over, Billy. You wait and see.

It's not a marriage, all right, not a proper one. On paper,

-yeah, all right, but it's...

-I knew, I knew he was scum.

Look, Aleks barely sees his wife...

Don't look at me like that!

Yes, it causes a few problems, OK, but I'm all right with it.

Oh, you're all right with it, are you?

You're all right being a married man's mistress?

Huh! And you ask me why I want to do it by myself,

why I want to raise this baby on my own?

Listen to you, I mean, this situation is driving you nuts,

he is driving you nuts, it's obvious.

OK, it is not ideal, Ronnie.

No, which is exactly why I want to do this by myself. Look,

I sat down and I worked out where everything went wrong.

I faced them, Rox, any issues I may have had,

any problems I may have had,

and maybe you should do the same.

PHONE RINGS

The thing is, I think earrings would just distract from the amazing

haircut that I've done.

It's so lovely, her hair looks really nice up like that.

You're not ready yet?

The party starts in an hour.

Not going.

This is just like that film.

What film?

Er...Mrs Robinson.

-The Graduate.

-The Graduate.

"Elaine! Don't do it. Marry me instead."

Ian wants to marry Sharon?

Sharon, er, I don't mean to rush you, but, er...

..I'll tell the driver two minutes, yeah?

Two minutes and you'll be down, yeah?

Yeah.

Come on, Janet. You sit here for me.

You look so pretty in your dress.

Your girlfriend not here either?

-What?

-The little blonde bit? Lola, is it?

Er, excuse me. I'm Jay's girlfriend.

Oh, I'm sorry. My mistake.

PHONE RINGS

Linda, turn your phone off.

It's Mick. Hello?

It's tradition, isn't it? Brides being late.

Honey was late. Twice.

I was even late once, but, you know technically I'm not a bride, so...

-Billy...

-What?

Please. Shut up.

Yeah, but I was just saying...

Don't.

OK.

Sharon's probably with Roxy, Mrs B.

I know she ain't even here yet.

If she comes at all.

Why shouldn't she?

Perhaps she's had a shock.

What do you mean?

Sharon's still on the Square.

What's the matter, car broken down or something?

Come with me.

What?

I want you there.

Oh, Sharon have you not listened to a single word I've said?

Look, I owe him that at least.

Well, I can't just not turn up.

-Does that mean you...?

-And you owe me that too.

Look, if I am going to do this, I need you there with me.

Looking lovely, ain't it?

If you like this sort of thing.

You wait till it's your turn. You'll feel exactly the same.

I'm not planning on getting married any time soon.

That stupid face mean you are?

Well, Tosh and I are in it for the long haul.

Why not go the whole hog?

-It might be fun.

-Not in the mood.

You're not in the mood for anything these days.

I'm in the mood for a lot of things. Peace and quiet.

Just not a wedding.

Have a word with him, will you?

What makes you think he's going to listen to me?

This is the priority, yeah?

What time's the wedding?

Has something happened?

-Are you serious about this?

-What?

Us? You and me?

That's typical. One woman gets married, all the others want to.

It's not funny, Aleks.

I'm the one making all the sacrifices here.

Baby, you're no sort of sacrifice for me...

Don't, all right.

-Prove it, then.

-How?

I don't know. That's up to you.

But just do it. Today.

PHONE RINGS

Wrong number.

-Getting a lot of them today, yeah?

-Yeah.

Some wedding this has turned out to be.

The bride was supposed to have left half an hour ago.

It's off, then, is it?

You never told me that.

-What?

-You and Tina.

The way she was just talking, sounds like it'll be you

and her walking down the aisle next. Not sure she'd still feel that way

if she knew about our little experiment the other night.

The other night was a mistake.

Still. What she don't know...

Sharon'll be here.

Why? Cos you say so?

No, cos I know her.

May not be just Sharon we've got to worry about.

What?

Saw Shirley outside earlier.

-What's she doing here?

-I don't think she'd come to wish 'em luck, Dot.

She's probably stuck in traffic.

Can be murder this time of day.

-We got through all right.

-Billy!

I know. Shut up.

I'll go and look outside.

That was, er, that was weird, that, weren't it?

What was?

Her talking about Lola like that. Thinking you were her boyfriend.

She's never been right in the head, her.

She's here!

Right, I'll get the kids sorted. Jay, you tell the registrar.

Ben, you look after your dad.

Do you want me to go in and bring him out here?

No, I want you to come in with me.

I want you to give me away.

Sharon, have you not listened to a single thing I've said to you?

Everything. And I know why you're saying it, but you're wrong.

I mean, yeah, I've had my doubts.

I wasn't actually going to be going through with all this

and neither was Phil.

It was all going to be one big charade.

He was going to dump me at the altar and I was going to fleece him

-dry before we even got here.

-Doesn't that prove everything I was saying?

Who does that to someone they're going to marry?

No, but then we talked.

He told me the truth and I did too.

I trust him, Ian. It's as simple as that.

And now I'm asking you to trust me.

And you can show me you do by walking me down that aisle.

-Sharon...

-Yeah, just give us a sec, Billy, thanks.

-I can't.

-Or won't?

There's no difference.

And is that because of me or the man I'm going to marry, hmm?

It's the same thing.

Don't worry. I love you for caring so much anyway.

I'm still going to do it, though.

Yeah, Dean reckons up.

He spent the last hour doing it as well,

so I don't know. It's not really me, is it?

-I prefer it down, to be honest.

-Yeah.

-Hides more of my face, don't it?

-Yeah, exactly.

Oi! Right, well, I'll see you later, yeah? The party?

I already told Cindy...

Yeah, well, you can change your mind, can't you?

Haven't you got a wedding reception to organise?

-SHE SCOFFS

-What's up?

Up? It's a complete and utter disaster.

It looked like she weren't even going to go.

But did she?

Yeah, she did in the end. She went, like, 20 minutes ago.

Just come in to rob some extra serving spoons. Oi, Marie...?

Oh, Janet you look so pretty in your dress.

Sharon...

I'm doing this, Ian.

I know you are.

-I got well and truly suckered there, didn't I?

-Mm-hm.

-Here.

-I should have guessed when you brought these with you.

I've still got my doubts about this, you know.

But if you are going to go through with it...

..I'm not going to let you down.

All right?

MUSIC: The Power Of Love by Jennifer Rush

# Cos I am your lady

# And you are my man

# Whenever you reach for me

# I'll do all that I can

# Even though there may be times

# It seems I'm far away... #

I welcome you all here today to witness

the wedding of Sharon Anne Rickman and Philip James Mitchell.

But first, I would like each of you to repeat after me.

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I...

..Philip James Mitchell,

may not be joined in matrimony to Sharon Anne Rickman.

And you, Sharon.

I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment

why I, Sharon Anne Rickman,

may not be joined in matrimony to Philip James Mitchell.

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I...

..Philip James Mitchell, do take thee, Sharon Anne Rickman,

to be my lawful wedded wife.

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I,

Sharon Anne Rickman, do take thee, Philip James Mitchell,

to be my lawful wedded husband.

Philip and Sharon, you have made the declarations required by law.

It gives me great pleasure to declare that you are now

husband and wife.

APPLAUSE

They go together, don't they? Love, marriage, babies.

I mean, we've got one. We're going for the other.

What about making it the triple whammy?

What?

-I can't do this.

-What's the matter?

The other night, me and Dean...

Look, we were drunk, but that's no excuse...

PHONE RINGS

Another wrong number?

HE SPEAKS LATVIAN

Marta...

I know, Linda, just tell Sharon I'm really sorry, I just can't,

I'll explain to you all when I get back, OK?

Tell her I got her some flowers, yeah?

I'll see you later.

OK. Let's do it.

-Do what?

-Let me show you I'm serious.

But not here.

Let's get away from all this, me, you and Amy.

Let's sort this out once and forever.

You asked me to prove how I feel.

I want to do it now.

-Yeah.

-OK.

Shirley...

They're back.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Driver, go round the Square!

I want to show off my beautiful wife!

Do you think Jay would like something like this?

It wasn't, you know.

It wasn't what?

Aunt Sal's mistake... about Jay's girlfriend.

Look at how he's always going on about her.

He's on the phone to her now. It's obvious.

What are you talking about?

He's in love with her, Abs.

Jay's in love with Lola.

I told Aleks...what you told me to say, that we need to

sort this out, and so we are.

We're going away, we're going thrash it out, just the three of us - me, him and Amy.

What? You're the one that said if I've got a problem,

I need to face it head-on, and that's what I'm doing.

-And now it's your turn.

-What are you talking about?

It's time you told Charlie the truth.

Look, we've been through this.

Yes, we have. Now it's time you and him did the same.

Ronnie.