06/11/2015 EastEnders

You two, honestly.

Anyone'd think you'd just popped back from the shops,

not the registry office!

Apart from that, there it is - the look.

The look? The "pinch me, I just got married" look.

Yeah, you can't hide it, no matter how blase you pretend to be.

We're not being blase, Mum, it's just this bit was never the real bit.

Yeah. Later, that's the real bit. Oh.

Well, I hope Stacey pulls her finger out.

Fancy not turning up this morning!

Yeah. It was kind of weird.

Dead quiet last night an' all.

Was she? You never said?

Oh, yeah. Wasn't a big deal.

Martin said she that had a headache -

so must've come on last night.

So, take a pill and get over it.

I never had her down as a princess.

Thank you for coming.

We're going to go set up at the house. Are you coming?

I've got a couple of errands to run.

I'll, um, I'll be back later, though.

All right. Bye, Mum. Bye, "Mum!"

You and Stacey had a little falling out, have you? No, no. No, no.

Come on. It was obvious you were covering up just then.

Oh... Hey, come on, this is your hubby you're talking to.

You can tell me. OK, all right, then. Come inside, come inside.

No, don't. Oh, come on.

We can't miss the main event an' all otherwise they'll never forgive us.

Yes, I know, Martin. I just need to lay here for a bit longer.

DOORBELL RINGS

FRONT DOOR OPENS

CONVERSATION DOWNSTAIRS

Right, what's your problem, missy?

Carmel?

Yeah, she kind of just barged her way past me...

Cup of tea, couple of these

and you'll soon be back to the Stace we all know and love.

Martin...tea.

Because between you and me,

Kush's dad would prefer to sun himself with his bit of fluff

than come to the wedding, so he needs you and Martin there,

not to mention Shabnam.

She's your best mate, Stace!

You have to promise not to tell anyone.

I swear. OK.

It's the baby.

Martin's not the father.

Er...I think he is. He's pretty excited.

No, no, that's the thing. He doesn't know.

Oh! I know.

Oh, no. Whoa! Poor Martin.

What, so she just come out with this last night, did she?

Well, no, no, not exactly.

She tried to hide this old scan picture... Right.

..even ripped it up when I asked about it.

I mean, what mum does that, unless you've got something to hide?

And eventually I got it out of her at the mehndi.

So who, then? While she was with Martin? No. No.

Apparently, it was a one-night stand before they got together.

See, that's the thing that I don't get.

Why lie about it if it was before they started?

So when exactly? How many weeks before?

I don't know, she was being all cagey.

I didn't want to push it.

Have you spoke to her today?

No. She's...she's avoiding me.

Do you think she's told Martin? Do you think that's why neither

of them were there this morning? She was adamant that she wouldn't.

You're thinking the same as me, aren't you?

What? That we have to... we have to make her see sense,

encourage her to tell him. No, no, no...

Come on, Martin's the one who's going to end up hurt down the line.

He will find out. Stacey thinks that he won't, but these things,

they always have a way of coming out, don't they? No, no, no, no, no.

Not now. Not now. This is our day and it's about us, hey?

You don't have to deal with anyone else, so, no.

All right. All right? Yeah.

DOORBELL RINGS

OK?

Hello. So much to do. Hello, darling. You all right?

Come on. Yeah, yeah. Come on, let me see that henna. Here.

Oh, look, I told you to stay still.

Hello. I'll see you later. OK? See you. OK.

And what about your make-up?

I thought your friend was coming to do it.

There's a "congratulations" banner down there somewhere.

What d'you reckon?

We hang it up so it's the first thing they see when they come in?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, give me a hand with this, yeah?

KUSH: Hello.

What is he doing here?

He's supposed to be getting dressed with Martin.

Um, can you finish up here? I need to talk to him.

Kushy, I've got some news.

You're not going to like it but your dad's staying put on his holiday.

Shakki too, still at least it means he's staying out of trouble,

and, um, Dariush sends his love from Dubai...

Mum, I can't do this right now. No, Kush, don't go in there! No!

All right? Oh, it was meant to be a surprise, but...

Never mind, I guess Shabnam will like it.

Look, I'd better dash. Got to pick up some confetti.

I'll see you two later.

I should probably go an' all. Just wait...

Look, Kush, I'm sorry about this morning, I felt rubbish.

Anyway, I've got to go.

Shabnam wants me to help her get ready. Is it true?

Is what true?

I have a lovely pink lipstick that would suit you, Nancy.

Oh, I don't really go in for make-up.

But it's a wedding. Everyone goes for make-up, even Tam.

No, no. I'm sorry. What?

For cousin Aamina's wedding, we used a bit of concealer

and if I'm not mistaken, some eyeliner as well.

Oooh, you wore guy-liner?

It was a very long time ago.

And he looked lovely.

Well, I've got a feeling I'm going to learn quite a lot about you today.

Hey, hey, have you heard from Dad?

Yeah, just landed apparently, be back soon.

And another one cutting it too fine.

I'm going.

You ain't the only bloke in London

who wants to sleep with me, you know.

For a minute there I thought... What?

Where did you meet him? None of your business.

Was it in Walford? Was it in the Vic?

No, it was in Stratford if you must know.

What was he like, then?

Well, he had two arms, two legs, one of them things that you call a head.

Please tell me the truth.

It doesn't mean anything. It's just DNA. Martin is his real dad.

Why didn't you tell me?

What? You'd made your choice. You chose Shabnam.

I wasn't going to use it to change your mind.

Anyway, Shabs was pregnant and then...

Zaair. Yeah.

Kush...I did what I had to. I moved on. To Martin.

It wasn't like that. It was...

Well, maybe at first it was, but then it changed.

It got real.

Real enough that you're going to lie to him the rest of your life?

No, I don't see it like that. How else can you see it?

When he holds that baby, he is going to love that baby like it's his own.

And that baby is going to love him.

That's all being a parent is.

Yeah, look, sorry me and Stace missed the registry office.

Oh, it's OK. If she's not well...

Is she here? She's supposed to be helping me get ready.

No, she's just popped out. Tell you what, why don't you wait?

What if this baby looks like me?

Lily's got dark hair, so have I. You're only half Iranian.

You've thought about this, haven't you?

Yeah, course I have.

What am I supposed to do here?

Tell me, what I'm supposed to do? Nothing. Nothing?

Nothing. You just pretend that you never found out.

Is the baby OK? The scans and everything, are they normal, yeah?

It's a little boy. There's a little boy in there. Don't, Kush, don't.

Don't let yourself go there.

How can I not go there?

Because we're all mates. We all hang out together all the time.

It just works. You and Shabs work. Me and Martin work.

How can you be so practical about all this?

Because I've known a long time, Kush.

You just...you get used to it.

That's just life, innit?

Just wake up every day and you just get on with it.

I don't know if I just can pretend...

What is the alternative, then? What?

Come clean?

Cos I know for a fact that that will destroy Martin and Shabnam.

And I'm sorry for being selfish,

but I don't really want to go back to that place,

that horrible place.

When Bradley died, I thought my life was over.

And I know that you know how that feels.

I just want to be happy.

This is our chance, Kush, to just be happy. I...

It gets easier, I promise.

PHONE RINGS

It's Shabs.

Shabs.

Oh, you're there? All right, yeah, I'm coming, I just...

I got caught up. Two secs.

All right.

She's, er, at mine with Martin.

Whoa, you can't just go, don't just go. We're not finished here.

Yeah, we are.

Please, Kush.

My suit's at yours anyway.

I'm suppose to be getting ready with Martin.

See what I mean?

I am buzzing.

I've packed my camera and a million tissues,

because I am a nightmare at weddings.

Now what do you think - hat or no hat?

Hello. Oh, hello again. The hat suits you. Mmm!

Maybe later. DOORBELL RINGS

Oh, that'll be Rashida and the sisters.

I didn't know you had extra family coming?

Oh, they're not extra. They always come.

Wouldn't be a wedding without them.

Wish my lot felt the same way. Hello!

I'd take a breath if I were you. What? Why? You'll see.

Hello, Tamwar!

THEY ALL EXCLAIM

And this is Tamwar's young lady, Nancy. All right?

Yes, I know. She needs our help. Upstairs. I...

THEY ALL TALK AT ONCE

Tam...

Thought Shabnam wanted a quiet affair?

I've been worried about you.

I'm so sorry.

Let's go and get you suited and booted.

Hey. Hey.

I'm so sorry, but I've told Kush.

Sorry. It just... it felt wrong not to today.

But he's promised not to say anything to Martin

and neither will I.

You guys are great together and I want you to be happy.

I really do.

Thank you.

So, what are you going to do with me?

War paint or...?

PHONE RINGS

Oh.

Yeah, your social worker's here.

Have I interrupted something?

Er, just a wedding, nothing major.

Look, I'll go... No, no, don't.

I've just spoken to her - she's coming back with Kush.

EXCITED CHATTER FROM UPSTAIRS

Isn't she lovely? It's one of Shabnam's.

Yeah. She really is. She's gorgeous!

Thank you, ladies.

Sorry, Tam, could I just chat to you in the kitchen quickly?

Thank you. It's all right.

OK, don't we need to get the hair done? Curlers, yeah?

Close the door.

Dude, you've got to help me.

What d'you mean?

Well, I can't wear this.

Why? You look beautiful.

Seriously.

Isn't it just, like, against the rules to wear this

if you're not part of the religion?

It's not a cult, Nancy.

I'm sorry.

I guess I just feel a bit awkward.

Why?

I feel like there's this whole side to you that I don't even know.

Well, ask then.

What?

Anything. I want you to know that side of me.

FRONT DOOR CLOSES

Hello. Hi. Sorry, thank you for waiting.

Look, I'm really sorry for intruding.

Look, if you want to do this another time, we...

No, no, no. Sorry. It just, um, it slipped my mind.

But this is important, isn't it? Yes.

Well, I'll get straight to the point.

The solicitor should have been in touch,

but it's good news - we have a date.

A date?

For the hearing at the family court about Jade.

So our chances are good?

Well, as you know there is another party involved,

so I can't really comment, but the process is moving forward.

Right, well, I'll get out of your hair.

Thank you so much for coming.

Oh, no problem. And happy wedding day!

Is that what people say?

It is now!

Anyway, I hope it's lovely.

Thank you.

Thank you. Bye. Bye. See you later.

It feels like a sign, doesn't it?

What? Finding out today, like...

What? Finding out today, like...

I know...I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, but...

..this time next year we could all be living together,

like a proper little family.

Masood! Masood in da house. Hey. Hey!

Is Daada out of hospital? Er, he's doing much better. And where's Mum?

Um, she couldn't make it.

She's got some kind of gastric flu thing. She sends her love.

So Kush is going to have to put up with me

welcoming him into our family.

But before that I've got a little bit of a surprise...

I've got to give a signal.

Kamil! Boo!

Zainab didn't mind you bringing him?

She didn't want him to miss out.

Kush, this is our little brother Kamil.

Hello, little man. I'm not little.

No, you've grown at least a mile, haven't you?

Why do you look so boring?

He's right. Come on. I'll help. Come on.

You can't say that to your sister. Come on. Let's go. Kitchen.

Let's get you some drinks.

Hi, Kamil. My name's Nancy. I need to speak to you.

Are you upset our lot haven't made the effort?

Come outside, OK?

They invited you?

I'm Denise's sister and her and Shabnam are well tight,

so it just stands to reason why she...

So you're totally crashing, then, ain't you?

All right. Hold it down.

You do know there's no alcohol at the wedding, though, don't you?

I like a wedding, me! I'm soppy.

I'm sorry about Vincent.

Oh, please. Your brother and his yo-yo knickers - old news.

I'm happy being a single woman.

So, um, where's Denise?

Oh, she's going to meet us there.

And no ideas, sunshine.

I just needed a breather. Get my thoughts straight.

Look, I know it don't make up for it, but your dad did send you this.

Flights. Mmm.

It's the honeymoon, he said. Where's it to?

What?! The villa in Turkey.

Oh, and look at this - flight's late afternoon,

so you're going to have to miss your reception

if you want to make it in time!

That man, he never thinks.

Shabnam's a lucky girl to have you.

You are a kind and genuine man and...

..and I know your dad's a useless old scrote,

but I know that you'll never let your kids down like him.

You're going to be a brilliant dad one day,

not just to Jade, but to your own baby too.

Mum...

I've got to go, OK?

Wow. Look at you.

Is it OK? It's a bit simpler than the last one...

Absolutely stunning.

I'm so proud of you.

He kicked.

Kush...

I can't. I can't just walk away here.

You're asking me to ignore the fact that I'm going to be a dad.

Plenty of men do it every day.

Yeah, well, not me.

It just feels wrong, you know...

..me living one side of the Square,

most likely bringing up a little girl I have no relation to,

whilst you're over here with... What are you saying?

I'm going to tell Shabnam the truth. Kush, you can't!

It's your wedding day! That's exactly why I have to tell her.

I'm supposed to be the person that she trusts most in this world.

What does that make me if I'm hiding something like this from her?

Think about what she's been through.

Think about how hard it has been for her having to watch me

get bigger and bigger every day,

knowing that I'm going to have everything that she lost.

Everything we both lost.

I can't do that again.

It's going to be OK, all right?

Somehow it is. It's going to be OK. No, it won't!

I'm scared too.

But this is something I've got to do. No, Kush.

Kush, please!

PARTY CHATTER

The rabble have arrived.

Have you lot been drinking? TOGETHER: No.

Oh, nice one, guys(!) Shabnam's wedding day.

Oi, have a juice.

It's well nice in here, ain't it?

Shame there aren't no fitties, though, apart from you, of course.

Where is Shabnam anyway? In the kitchen. What? Cooking?

The Imam does the vows in there.

What?

It's a Muslim thing - the bride and groom have to be in separate rooms.

And the girl has to be in the kitchen because...?

It's not a sexist thing.

All right, sorry. You said I could ask.

We wouldn't usually have it at home like this.

It's a bit of squash.

And so what about Zainab, then?

Ill...so he says.

Oh, I don't buy that one for a second.

Me neither.

So, er, what's the real reason your ex ain't here?

Come on, I know she ain't got a stomach bug.

I wanted Kamil to come here and she took it badly.

She said she was ashamed of me.

I mean, she feels pushed out, I suppose, but I didn't mean to...

What? What?

She's scared.

Scared? You clearly haven't met Zainab.

No, she's scared of coming back here, being in this house,

but not being part of the family any more.

He's coming!

Oh, no, I'm in the wrong place. I'm in the wrong place! OK.

And...wah-hey!

Where's Shabnam?

In the kitchen.

Was that not supposed to be a bigger deal?

Thank you. Thanks for everything.

You're not supposed to be in here.

I need to speak to Shabnam.

There's no time for that. Please.

It's all right, it's all right, honestly.

Honestly, it's fine.

All right.

What's wrong?

What is it? You've been on edge all day. I've...

..been speaking to Stacey.

Stacey?

About her baby, about Martin not being the dad and it's...

It's not easy for me to say, after everything...

It's all right. I know.

You know?

You're scared...

..about Jade, about not being her real dad.

But this is nothing like Stacey and Martin.

We'll...take it slowly, we'll talk to each other.

I mean, I've already seen a glimpse

of the kind of parent that you'll be.

I, um...

I got a flutter today...

..like a phantom kick.

I know it's probably just butterflies from...but, um...

..for a moment, for a millisecond, it was...

Zaair is always... he's always going to be with us.

You know that, right?

That doesn't mean that we can't try and move forward.

You're going to be an amazing dad.

Mmm.

OK.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Salaam Alaikum. Wa-Alaikum Salaam.

Are you ready?

Martin...

..can we go somewhere? I need to talk to you.

What, now? It's about to start. Please.

Stacey, you're needed in the kitchen.

Go on.

In a minute, yeah?

Put this on. Tried to put it on you outside

but you steamrolled through. Sorry, thanks.

Ah!

So, are you ready to be my, um, pretend bridesmaid?

Oh-h!

I declare I want to marry Shabnam Masood.

Yes, yes, Kush!

Do you have the mahr?

Yeah.

Thank you. I'll go and speak to the bride.

(What's that?)

Oh, it's like a dowry,

says he wants to be with her for life.

It's kind of old-fashioned, but it's more of tradition than anything.

It's pretty old-fashioned.

Good with kids, isn't he?

Khoroush Kazemi has proposed marriage and offers the mahr.

Do you accept? Qubool hai.

Do you accept? Qubool hai. Do you accept? Qubool hai.

Please sign here.

Oh, sorry.

The bride has accepted your proposal.

Do you accept Shabnam Masood as your wife?

Qubool hai.

Do you accept? Qubool hai. Do you accept? Qubool hai.

Please sign here.

GUESTS CHAT

Oh, babe, you look beautiful, Shabs, you look beautiful, baby!

You are now husband and wife.

May Allah bless your marriage,

and join the two of you in blessings and love.

CHEERING

Kim!

I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just weddings and me and...stuff. Yeah.

You know what, you're going to find someone who's worthy of you.

And in the meantime, I'm standing in...all right?

Oh, come here, babe. Come here, babe.

HORN BEEPS

PARTY CHATTER

Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please? Shh!

Fatboy...

Gotta go, gotta go... Thank you.

Well, these two lovebirds have to go on their honeymoon,

so I will make this very brief.

Kush, you're a good man

and I know my daughter will be very, very happy.

Now, one word of advice -

please don't leave your clothes lying around on the floor.

Oh and another thing, second word of advice - learn to wash up properly.

Shabnam. Shabnam, my beautiful daughter.

You've shown so much strength throughout the year.

You make me proud every day

and I am so happy that you've found your soulmate.

So, um...three cheers for the bride and the groom. Hip hip...

ALL: Hooray!

Hip hip... ALL: Hooray!

OK, everybody, they've got to catch a cab. Hip hip... ALL: Hooray!

What did you want to say earlier? Oh, nothing.

Um...I probably should have said it before, but you make me

a really happy "not" wife.

I had this speech... but I'll tell you later.

OK. You can tell me later. I'll tell you later.

Just wait there a second. OK.

OK, everyone ready? They're coming. You ready?

Ready, ready, ready, ready! CHEERING

Congratulations!

Congratulations. Thank you.

It is the right thing.

Goodbye.

Excuse me, bro. Congratulations, mate.

Mate, so pleased for you. Genuinely. Magic.

Right come on, then, Shabs, your honeymoon awaits! Let's do this.

CHEERING

Don't worry, I'll cover your stall.

Have you got your passports?

Bye!

I love you.

I love you too.