23/02/2016 EastEnders

KIM LAUGHS

BABY CRIES

BABY CRIES

BABY CRIES

BABY CRIES

HE YELLS

BABY CRIES

HE SIGHS

BABY CRIES

Shh, shh, shh!

HE SIGHS Shh, shh, shh, shh!

It's OK.

It's OK.

Come on, then. It's OK. I'm here.

Shh, shh, shh.

It's OK. Daddy's here.

BABY GURGLES Shh, shh.

Daddy's here!

Morning.

-How did you sleep?

-Yeah, OK.

Good. Breakfast in five minutes.

All right.

BABIES CRY

-KIM:

-How much space do you need, Claudette?!

-For what?

For the food? I mean, the face painter has to go somewhere.

I tell you what, no more space than this, yeah?

Thanks.

Vincent, she can come in here.

CHATTER RADIO PLAYS

How's my poppy?

-Who?

-I thought you wanted a boy?

No, that's how big it is, innit,

-like a...like a poppy seed.

-How do you know that?

-I've got an app.

-Oh, yeah?

-Where's the milk?

-Oh, Sharon's gone off to the Minute Mart.

-How is she?

-Um...It's hard to say.

What happens now? Like, will she stay here till they're divorced?

It's a shambles, in't it, eh?

Well, I'm only working till lunchtime,

if you wanted to talk about it. I can cook us something.

Yeah, we'll see how we go.

We've got that fuel line on the estate later, in't we, bruv?

Yeah.

Sorry, I might be a bit late.

See you, babe.

Bye.

You sure we need those?

I've baked a lot of sweet food.

It's a kids' party, you've got to have sweets, in't ya?

I'm familiar with kids' parties, I'll have you know.

-We can manage a few more, can't we, Mum?

-Absolutely.

If the kids don't give themselves diabetes,

-it's not a good party, is it?

-DOORBELL

Um...I'll get that.

My candles?!

-Right, I'll be back this afternoon, yeah?

-Yeah, you're going to see your mummy.

Because your daddy's so clever, isn't he, eh?

Just give him a bit of space, Son, yeah?

-You're smothering him.

-Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine, just in a bit of rush.

You know, got to stop and get nappies on the way, and then sit in traffic.

-Are you going to be all right to drive?

-Yes! Yes, I'll be fine.

Just got to keep going.

Come here, you. Come here, you.

Come on.

Just look at him, right.

Stacey in hospital, crashes his van, he's basically a single dad,

and h-he's just getting on with it.

-There's no point in moaning, is there?

-No. I don't mind a good old moan, myself.

Nah, nah, I'm done with it, Don.

It's time that I was more like Martin.

You know, being there for other people.

I've got this, don't worry.

Oh, get me a bun as well, then.

Vincent.

I was hoping you'd have an envelope.

-It's going to take a couple of weeks.

-What?!

You want cash, it's going to take a while.

Vincent! All right, Sharon?

Quite a production.

Oh, this? Oh, it's no biggie.

You should come along and bring what's-his-name.

-Denny.

-Denny would love a bounce.

I think he might be a bit old, Kim.

Oh, you're never too old, Sharon. Vincent.

Martin.

How's Stacey?

Yeah, yeah, we found her a place in a mother-and-baby unit.

Oh, that's great!

Oh, look, I think he's starting to look like you.

It's the cheeks.

Look, I've...I've got to go.

OK.

Oh, Martin. I heard from Tina.

-That's brilliant news.

-Yeah. Yeah, it's a relief.

Right, well, listen, I've got it all sorted here,

so you just concentrate on your family, OK? That's the most important thing.

Hello, young man. How are you today?

KATHY LAUGHS Look, it's a bit of a drive, so...

Poor thing.

Yeah.

Makes you grateful you've got your family around you, don't it?

RADIO PLAYS SOFTLY

Oh, you enjoyed that.

I was really hungry.

Have some more if you want?

-Do you know when Martin and Arthur are...?

-About ten, I think.

How are you feeling about it?

Yeah, fine. Excited.

That's great.

But if you were feeling a bit on edge, that'd be fine, too.

OK, I'll keep that in mind.

I'll see you in a bit.

BABIES CRY

Now, listen, I don't want anyone else near it, OK?

Because everyone's going to want a bounce

and no-one sets foot on the bouncy castle before Pearl.

You know she can't walk, right?

Vincent, don't start with me.

And as for that Jordan, I want him down here, running security.

Well, I was hoping he would be helping me with the food.

-Oh, look, kids ain't going to care about food when there's bouncing to be done.

-All the same, Kim...

No, no, mate. Mate! No, no, over, over.

CLAUDETTE SIGHS

I know she's got her heart set on this carnival,

but, Vincent, it's February!

And I know I'm just the grandmother,

but I'd like to make a small contribution

to the catering side of this event.

-Kim.

-Huh?

Jordan's going to help Mum, yeah?

-Oh, but I need him here now.

-It's one thing.

Do this for me, please?

Fine.

Fine, Claudette!

Thank you.

All right, Sharon?

-Hoping to scare me?

-Just enquiring about the progress of our arrangement.

It'll be a couple of weeks.

Not ideal.

-The buyer, it's Henry Hubbard's lad, isn't it?

-Vincent.

Yeah. He was an idiot as a kid.

-And what's bred in the bone...

-He'll get the money.

And then you're gone.

Say hi to Dennis for me.

Martin, this is...this is Madhu, Arthur's primary nurse.

-Hello, Martin. Hello, Arthur.

-Hiya.

Hey, look.

-Look who it is.

-Hello!

Stacey...he's so gorgeous!

His eyes look...

Well, weren't they bluer last week?

Yeah, yeah. Um, I think they're changing.

Oh, Lily's did the same thing.

ELECTRIC KNIFE WHIRS

Such uniform slices.

What a time to be alive, eh?

-I've got to get back to the stall. Enjoy the party.

-OK.

Yeah, man. You did a fantastic job, you know?

Oh...thank you, Patrick.

BOTH LAUGH

Here you go, princess!

This is your birthday party!

Look, look, look!

Happy birthday, Pearl.

-Oh... Vincent!

-Hmm?

-She can't wear that, it's so...

-KIM:

-Where's my birthday girl?

Oh, there she is!

KIM LAUGHS

Looks so gorgeous!

Um, look at all this, it's so...

So...formal.

Yes, it's wonderful, that's what it is.

I tell you, Pearl is the luckiest girl in the world, aren't you?

Oh, yes, she is.

Let's just add a little, you know, couple of...finishing touches.

Somehow they found their way into the cupboard. Funny that, innit?

See a couple of candles in there, please, Claudette,

then it will be a very CLASSY event.

What do you think, Pearly?

"Yeah!

"I do!"

OK, I think we're going to need a clean outfit after that.

-Here, this should do.

-Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?

-Where did that come from?

-Um, oh, I don't know.

-My Auntie. Kathy.

-Oh. Well, you can pop that on.

-OK.

BABY GURGLES

OK.

Look, he doesn't um...

-He doesn't like putting his hands through the sleeves.

-Oh.

You've had to do this all on your own.

What else was I supposed to do?

When you've got him dressed, shall we have a story?

Martin?

I'm sorry, I can't do this.

Will you just watch him?

-Hello.

-BABY GURGLES

Martin?

-You OK?

-Yeah, fine, I'm just...

It was just seeing you two together again, it's...it's brilliant.

You should go back in. I'll be fine.

I scared you yesterday, didn't I?

I'm sorry.

Just because Arthur's in here with me now doesn't mean I don't need you any more.

It doesn't mean he doesn't need his dad.

(Yeah.)

OK, um...fine.

-You can go back in and see him.

-I want you in there with us.

Stacey, just...

Just give me a minute.

Why, what's the matter?

Martin, I love you. You can tell me.

-Martin...

-Don't!

Don't say anything.

Look, the only reason I read that was...

I thought it might help me understand you.

It was my best friend, Stace.

My best friend.

Him and Shabs had just broken up.

She was getting an arranged marriage.

I dunno...we'd had a drink,

I suppose we were both a bit lonely.

Me and you weren't together then.

You really think that matters?

You knew.

You knew he wasn't my son.

Isn't...my son.

-Yeah.

-But you...you let me keep believing he was.

You let me...

You let me think that...

I was his father.

You are his father.

We named him after my dad!

Did you not think that matters?

Did you not think I don't deserve to know that?

I just wanted it to be us.

I wanted to have a family with you

and...and just have a normal life for once.

And I just thought that if I kept going, eventually it wouldn't matter any more.

-I loved him so much.

-You still love him.

Of course I still love him!

Does Kush know?

Yeah.

That's why him and Shabs broke up.

So Shabnam knows as well?

Yeah, of course she does. I mean, why wouldn't he tell her?

That's the sort of thing that you tell your partner, innit?

How many other people know that Arthur's not my son?

Hmm?

Carmel.

-Kat.

-I bet you all were having a right old laugh at me, weren't you?

No, we weren't. I would never do that to you.

But you didn't tell me, though.

But this is us.

This is our little family!

It never was our little family, though, was it?

Do we...want to have a go at settling him?

Come on. Come on. Come and show me how to do it.

Please, Martin! Please, I love you and I can't be without you!

I'm sorry.

I have to go.

-Shall we go and see Pearl first?

-No.

-Yes!

CHATTER

-Hello! Hello, love!

-All right?

CHEERING

I tell you, this looks like legitimate fun.

I wouldn't go bouncing about in that outfit if I were you.

There are children around here, you know.

Claudette would hate it, innit?

-There you go, darling.

-CLAUDETTE LAUGHS

Here she is, bossing the kids around.

-Linford!

-Hello, Mum.

-Hello, darling. What are you doing here?

-I'm here to see Pearl.

That's unexpected!

Billy, Honey, this is my foster son, Linford.

-All right?

-All right.

-So, what, you're the cool uncle, yeah?

Oh, he's far too busy to be Cool Uncle.

LAUGHTER

What's that kid doing with the sausage rolls? Here!

So did you sort it, bruv?

-Big bro, it is sorted.

-That's all I ask.

-BOTH LAUGH

Whose party's that?

Oh...Pearl Hubbard.

The little one there, look.

Bit lavish.

Would you do all this for your kid's birthday?

I...don't have any kids.

In my day, we were lucky if we got a clip round the ear.

They must be rolling in it.

Yeah...I wouldn't know.

I would, mate.

I would.

Jay, have you ever...?

Have I ever what?

Have you ever...

had any problems...

down there?

Mate, I am in perfect working order down there.

-I know it's been a while...

-No!

I mean, have you ever...had anything?

-Well, who'd you get that off of?

-I don't know.

-JAY SIGHS

-Have you told Abi?

Mate, what if you've passed it on to her?

What if you've harmed the baby or something?

-Jordan!

-Ben.

-How you doing?

-Not bad.

Busy.

Can I have another sausage roll?

-Fine, but it's your last one, eh?

-Who's this, then?

-My son JJ.

-Right.

-I've got another one on the way.

Abi's pregnant.

Congratulations.

Yeah...pretty exciting.

I'd better...

-Tell Abi I said hi, yeah?

-Oh, I will.

-Come on, Jay.

-You enjoy your sausage roll, mate.

See you later, mate.

If you want to be a proper dad this time,

then you'd better tell Abi about this. Today.

ENGINE REVS

Hey, Martin. You all right, mate?

How are they?

They're all right.

-Better.

-Oh, that's great. That's great. How's the little man doing?

-Loving being back with his mum, is he?

-Yeah.

Listen, the way you're doing this, you looking after everyone,

it's...it's Father of the Year stuff, innit?

Come here.

Don't make me come and get you.

All right, I'm coming to get you. Come here.

All right.

What is he...?

Oi!

What you doing here?

I just want to give you something.

It's from Dad's safety-deposit box.

I thought Stacey should have it.

I know you don't believe me, but...I am family.

You're right, I don't believe you.

Is she OK?

She's had a breakdown,

she's been in an acute psychiatric ward for a month.

-Why do you think that is?

-Come on. Come on.

Cos you, whoever you think you are,

you wouldn't leave her alone.

So you're lucky I don't put your through that wall, mate!

All right, real quick, real quick, guys.

We know why we're here, right.

-For Pearl.

-Pearl, happy birthday, darling.

-Hey!

You look just like your father. But seriously, seriously,

we're here to also announce an important message...sort of.

Well, as you know, some of us are Claudette's foster kids.

She took us in,

terrified us most of the time,

but she took us in when no-one else would.

And we wouldn't be here without her, none of us.

-Isn't she fantastic?

-CLAUDETTE LAUGHS

So we nominated her for a Pride of Walford award.

And she's a finalist!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-That's why you're here!

-And you're going to win. We love you, Mum.

CLAUDETTE LAUGHS Mmm!

Oh! I don't know what to say.

Except that I've always wanted a big family.

KIM LAUGHS LOUDLY

Whoo! Whoo!

KIM LAUGHS LOUDLY

Oh, my God! It's hilarious!

KIM LAUGHS LOUDLY

I-I-I'll...I'll sort this out.

It's all right, love.

You don't want to hear from me, you're here to enjoy yourselves.

Come on, let's party!

-Happy birthday, Pearl of my heart!

-Happy birthday, Pearl!

KIM LAUGHS LOUDLY

Oh, you have some dignity, Patrick, you're a grown man.

Yeah, and she's a grown woman.

-Yeah, man!

-PATRICK CHUCKLES

KIM LAUGHS LOUDLY

Whoo! Whoo!

KIM LAUGHS

Whoo!

AIR HISSES

KIM GASPS

Denise! Denise, what's happening?!

Denise! Oh, no!

-Denise!

-LAUGHTER

Denise!

LAUGHTER KIM SHRIEKS

HE SIGHS

Hi.

It's me.

-It was her, innit?

-Yes! She stabbed it with a knife.

-What?!

-And it was the look on her face, Kim,

it was sort of...chilling.

It was like she got off on it.

You know what, that woman is unhinged!

She's gone way beyond as interfering mother-in-law,

she's 100% psycho!

I'm going to have to pay for this now!

Cha!

It's Gavin.

I think we need to have a chat.

DOOR SLAMS

RADIO PLAYS SOFTLY

-Hiya.

-Hi.

-What's all this about?

-Oh, well, I thought I'd make it look nice,

seeing as we've got the afternoon together.

-Come on, babe, I'm all dirty, in't I?

-Well, I don't care.

Ben, what is the matter?

It's nothing.

Well, then why do you keep pushing me away?

Ben what is it?

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT I...

I think I may have caught something.

Thanks for coming.

-Why now?

-After all these years,

no hello?

Just tell me, what do you want?

Money, Claudette.

To keep your little secret.

She's just so much happier,

just...just having him there.

When can we visit her?

Couple of days, I reckon.

And you, trouble, you are first on the list, all right?

Look, Sonia, do you mind looking after Lil this afternoon?

It's just...I've got to get a few things to sort with Stace.

Will you be back for dinner?

Do you mind?

Sorry, I know it's a hassle.

And...the car?

No problem.

-I'm just popping to the shop, all right?

-Cheers.

Right, come here, you.

Come here. Right... Oh!

HE WHISTLES Ah!

We can't have you using anyone else's can we, because...?

-They're poisonous!

-That's right. Absolutely. Come here.

-And you.

-Dad!

-Come on.

OK.

I love you. Both of you.

-You know that, don't you?

-I love you too, Martin.

Are you OK, Dad?

Yeah.

(Yeah.)

-Never better.

-Hmm.

Right.

I'll...I'll see you later.

-See ya.

-See you later.

Bye.

Bye, everyone.

Right, go on, pull my finger.

I promise I won't do it this time.

-SHE MAKES FARTING NOISE

-Ah!

LAUGHTER

-You want a go?

-No, you're good.

-LAUGHTER

Just gently patting.

There we go.

Shh, shh, shh.

-It's OK. Stacey?

-BABY CRIES

I don't know how to do this.

Martin knows how to do this.

It's fine. He's in a new place, it will take him a while to settle.

Maybe he'll always take this long to go to sleep.

Maybe he's a terrible sleeper. I don't know, I hardly know him.

Stacey, everything you're feeling is completely normal.

It's absolutely fine.

If you just want to watch, then tomorrow, when Martin comes back,

we'll get his settling tips.

BABY CRIES

ENGINE STARTS