29/04/2016 EastEnders

Tina, do you know what I've done with that folder?

-Yeah, it's in the living room, I think.

-Oh, lovely.

MOBILE BEEPS

Brilliant, thank you.

I wish you didn't have to go to this meeting today.

I cope better when I keep busy

and I couldn't get a doctor's appointment

till later in the week anyway

You and me are so different.

Why, what would you do?

Run away, obviously.

Listen, about last night...

the awards and everything.

I totally forgive you.

All right? The speech, everything - it's all forgotten about.

Now, get up.

I want you to feel it.

No, no, no, I don't need to do that. I trust you.

Please.

You're wearing one of your cast-iron super-bras.

I can't tell what's lump and what's scaffolding.

When are you going to phone your mum?

I'd rather not tell anyone just yet.

Especially if it turns out to be nothing.

Can you feel it?

Look...

It'll be fine. Mum was fine.

I'll be fine.

Sorry.

Oh, no, Rebecca...

Martin's online!

Oh, I'm coming.

-HE WOLF WHISTLES

-Do me a favour!

-How did it go?

-Well, dinner.

-Oh, yeah?

-We went out for drinks.

-Yeah?

-He never called me back.

MOBILE BEEPS

What century is he from?

Oh, it's not a big deal. Is Arthur all right?

Yeah, he is. I'm not sure about me.

You haven't heard from Soph, then?

Why don't you try and put your head down for a couple of hours now?

I promised myself I'd practice a few recipes.

What's the point if you're wiped out?

-What are you two talking about?

-I'm coming.

Go and put your head down.

Don't fancy my chances, but I'll give it a go.

Hiya!

This is a surprise. Why aren't you at work?

There's been a few problems -

I'm just waiting for the minibus. Did I miss Lily?

Yeah, I've just taken her to school.

Kyle says he's been up all night with Arthur.

I feel guilty. He's hardly slept a wink

and he's got a load of hassle from his mate Soph.

But you're OK?

Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks to him.

I'm just singing your praises here, Kyle!

-I'm trying to sleep!

-Oh, sorry!

SIREN WAILS

Blimey, you don't muck about.

Someone left this in the shop last night. It's a sign.

So, what course are you thinking of doing?

I'm thinking about media studies.

Media studies?

What, an O level in sitting watching telly with your feet up?

Well, that shows how much you know.

Do they do one in alcohol appreciation?

You could pass that one tomorrow.

Very droll(!)

For a start they haven't been called O levels since about 1400BC

and, for second, media studies actually is...

"innovative interdisciplinary introduction to herme...herme..."

Oh, I don't know, what's that word?

Hermeneutics. I don't even know what that means. Do you?

Yeah, well, maybe not media studies. I'll keep looking.

Well, good luck with that.

-Ooh!

-Sorry.

-Excuse me...

-So, what's the matter with her?

-She didn't say.

What's this?

Tina's phoned in sick.

-Probably hungover.

-Well, cheers, anyway, Jane.

What's everyone's problem today?

Well, you're not exactly Mr Popular right now, are you?

What's going on with this? Who left it?

I've got no idea, Ian.

Oh, for goodness' sake, love, look!

She's had a bit of a roll-about with a girl she's met the other night.

-Did she?

-Yes. She was on her way home to see Sonia and apologise

and now she ain't picking up her blower, she's bunking off work.

You couldn't slip over there

-and go and see her, could you?

-Why me?

Cos you're her sister and I've promised Babe

I'm gonna help her with her cases down the Tube.

Well, what shall I say?

See if she's all right.

Tina is never all right.

True. Very, very true. You coming to this Cost-Mart meeting later?

Nah.

Oi, Mick! Here, what do you think?

Is this you getting back on the horse?

Honest opinion?

Out of your league.

Oh, right, but what would you say

if I told you I was going to meet her over there at lunch?

I'd say crack on, Mas.

Yeah, you know sometimes you wake up

and the universe is on your side... and today is that day.

-It is that day, ain't it?

-Yeah. See you later.

Meeting in the Vic at one. Be there, please.

I don't think so.

-Down with Beale's!

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

What do you mean? It was half your idea.

Gotta be better than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, surely?

Who says I am?

That watermelon - is it fresh?

Of course.

There you go.

On me. And don't tell Ian.

Thanks. Something else we're not telling Ian, eh?

Ooh! That's fruity!

Bandit, six o'clock.

Right, you lot.

You want to distribute leaflets in my cafe, you ask first!

Nah. Don't think so.

SHE LAUGHS And you can shut your cake hole.

-Ooh!

-Mum, what do you think you're doing fraternising with the enemy?

"Enemy"?

If I don't sell to Cost-Mart, right,

I can't pay Bobby's school fees. It's as simple as that.

There you go, enjoy.

Paul feeling better now?

Yes, he's handing out leaflets about the, you know...

Yeah, well, you can tell him from me that you win.

It's over.

What?

I get enough disapproval and snidey remarks at home.

I don't need them from you an' all. So, congratulations!

-Ben, please...

-At least my old man's an honest bigot.

When you say you're not enjoying work, what do you mean?

I'm missing you is all I mean.

Should I be worried about you?

No, you... You just concentrate on you.

I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do so don't nag.

I wasn't nagging!

Look, Martin, is there any way you could put some money in my account?

Things are a bit tight this end.

Can we sort it when I get back?

Yeah, I guess.

It's just that they're paying me cash

so we can sort that then, yeah?

Right, I'm...

You going?

Yeah, the minibus is here.

Love you.

Love you more.

Give Arthur a big kiss from me, yeah?

And tell Kyle thanks for stepping up to the plate.

No good?

Never going to happen. I'm taking a shower.

It weren't cos me and Martin were talking, was it?

DOOR SLAMS

What are you doing here?

-Are you by yourself?

-What are you doing here, Shirl?

I just wanted to make sure you're all right.

Since when?

Look, Mick's a bit worried about you.

He wants to know if you've spoken to Sonia.

It's my problem. I'll deal with it in my way.

I'll take that as a no, then.

-I ain't taking lessons in honesty off you!

-I tried.

Right, need a hand?

You're supposed to be studying.

Yeah, EU law - you'd want a break, too.

-PHONE RINGS

-Who's that? Who's that, Babe?

It's Tina.

Hello, darling.

Yeah, all right, calm down. Take a breath.

I'm not allowed to care about my own sister,

is that what you're telling me?

Stop shouting and hollering, OK?

Just come over here, let's not do this over the phone.

All right? OK, ta-ta.

-Well?

-Did she tell Sonia?

If she did, it didn't go very well.

Er, Ben, I've just spoken to my nan

and, according to her you've dumped me.

I can't be dealing with it anymore. Too much agg.

Would've been nice if you'd have thought,

I don't know, to mention it to me.

-It's nothing to do with you.

-Nothing to do with me?!

I mean it's not your fault.

This isn't on, Ben.

Why don't you tell that to your nan?

Only you won't, will you? Cos you're too scared of her.

Scared of her?

Well, why else do you put up with it otherwise?

Or is it the rent-free room and the three meals a day?

Has something happened

-that you're not telling me about?

-Yeah, actually.

I have had time to think, Paul.

Why am I putting myself through all this?

You don't mean any of this.

You know, when a motor costs more to repair than it's worth,

it's called a write-off.

And that is what we are - a write-off.

Ben, please...

Sorry if me and Martin stopped you from having a little sleep.

I'm better doing something rather than just lying there.

What are you looking for?

My notebook

Oh, what, the one with recipes in it? Here you are.

-Thanks.

-Me and Arthur can be really quiet now

if you want to try and have a little lay down...

-I just said it's not going to happen.

-All right.

You know I get ratty when I'm tired.

And then there was this crisis with Soph last night.

I just need to clear my head.

What are you going to do?

Pudding practice.

Ian's feeling mega guilty so he's letting me

use the kitchen down at Beale's so I can try out a few new dessert ideas.

Mmm, lovely!

I just thought I can't exactly live here without paying any rent

so I better find myself a new job.

Not if it's going to make you like that.

Like what?

Sorry. Not your fault.

You look after yourself, yeah?

Yeah, you too.

ARTHUR CRIES

HE WOLF WHISTLES

Funny man(!)

Oh, lighten up, will you?

Come here a sec.

-I'm working.

-I just want to explain a few things.

I haven't got time.

What do you think it's like for a woman, being ogled at in the street?

I wasn't "ogling" anyone. I was having a joke.

Oh, a joke? Oh, right, you think it's a joke?

Starts off with wolf whistles - ends up with rape.

HE LAUGHS Oh, give me a break!

Oh, "a break" - is that what you want is it?

You want a break, is it, mate, yeah? How about I break your neck?

Leave it out, will you?

-Come on...

-Get off me!

-What's up? Can't take a joke?

-What are you doing?

-Kyle!

Maybe you'll think next time..

Are you all right?

Is he some kind of psycho or what?

Well?

All right, Teen?

-Where is he?

-He's in there, he's waiting for you.

Why are you sending Shirley round to spy on me?

What are you talking about, spying? I'm worried about you.

Did you tell Sonia?

Right, look, it's complicated, all right?

When I got back, she was upset and ...

-Mum?

-Ssh!

So, you ain't... You ain't told her?

Look, I'm not supposed to tell anyone, all right,

so you've got to keep it to yourself.

Go on.

Sonia's found a lump.

So, where's Paul now?

Back on the stall. Barely talking to me.

According to Ben, Paul is scared of me. Can you believe that?

I'm scared of you when you put on your disapproving face.

Oh, come on, Les! I'm a pussy cat.

Yeah, yeah - so's a sabre-toothed tiger!

The point is what do I do now?

I think you know what you've got to do now, don't you, Pam?

That's impressive.

I know you're probably still mad at me.

You can write your own reference.

It's not like you're going to have trouble getting another job, is it?

It's nothing to do with you.

So, what is it, then?

Hello?

Sorry, I just wanted to have a quick word with Kyle.

Just for a minute.

Go on, I'll be through there.

You don't have to say it.

I think I do. What the hell are you playing at?

You're lucky he doesn't press charges.

If he changes his attitude towards women, it'll've been worth it.

Well, you've got him wrong. I don't actually think he's like that.

If you say so.

You do realise that's how Dad died?

Falling on a building site.

So?

So, you need to apologise.

What if she HAS got cancer...

Mick, she's got the gene!

Whatever I thought before, I've got to stick with her now.

So, you have to tell her about the bird.

-What?

-This situation begs for more honesty.

And how's that going to go down now?

Put yourself in Sonia's shoes.

OK, so imagine she has to go through all this chemo, right,

and, six months down the line,

she finds out that you've been lying to her.

-That's assuming she does find out.

-Teen, Teen, look...

Lying is for cowards.

-So I'm a coward.

-And you're happy with that then, are you?

Mick, I'm not happy full stop.

Yeah, but why? Why?

MOBILE BEEPS

Oh, it's her again!

That's her name, is it? Soph?

That's the third one this morning.

If you're not happy,

you need to change and you need to be true to yourself.

Like it's that easy.

Dad was a coward. Do you want to be a Stan?

Where do you magic courage up from, then?

Do you love Sonia?

Like, do you love her, like, more than you love yourself?

Well, that wouldn't be hard, would it?

OK, let me put it this way.

In this situation, who's more important? You or her?

Her.

Her. Definitely her?

Well, I don't want to lose her.

So that's what you hold on to.

Because that is what's going to give you courage.

I need to slip back downstairs.

Can I just stay up here a bit longer?

Of course you can.

Did you get all that, Babe?

I heard something about Sonia and cancer.

Ssh, we don't know if it's cancer. It's a lump.

So, try and keep this to yourself, please.

Hang on, hang on...

When we moved here from Spring Lane, we were given assurances...

Donna, Donna, Donna, we've been through all that.

As our legal eagle here says, it ain't gonna wash with the council.

In the eyes of the law, there's nothing wrong with competition.

-What have I missed?

-Nothing. We're just going through our options.

Where they're vulnerable is access.

Stick a delivery van at the end of George St

and how are the buses going to get in?

Right, then we need to get Transport for London involved, don't we?

Mas! You made it.

Actually, I'm meeting someone.

Laura, is it?

You must be Masood.

-Masood.

-Masood. Hello.

Hi. Can I get you a drink?

Not sure I've got time. They only give us half an hour for lunch.

Right. Who's "they"?

The estate agents I work for.

Yeah, I know, but someone's got to do it.

Oh, no, no, don't put yourself down.

Sorry. I'm a bit nervous.

Bit of an internet dating virgin.

Yeah, well, I'm not exactly an internet Casanova.

Pleased to hear it.

It says on your profile that you own your own house,

but not what you do for a living.

Yeah, well, people can make assumptions, you know?

Why? You're not a banker, are you?

No, not that bad. No, no.

I'm in the, erm, communications industry, actually.

DOOR OPENS

Oh. Didn't realise, sorry.

Just come to grab some lunch.

I take it yesterday didn't go too well, then?

You've got an idiot for an auntie, Lee.

So, that's who I get it from? I've always wondered that.

Listen, I'm heating up yesterday's soup if you want some?

I think I owe you an apology.

Uhuh?

You have to understand that Paul is our only grandson.

Well, you've got him all to yourself now, Pam.

You should be pleased.

You're not making this any easier, Ben.

-You think this has been easy for me?

-That's what I'm apologising for.

You've actually made Paul very happy.

Perhaps... Perhaps I was just jealous.

The thing is Paul knows I'm talking to you

and he doesn't want you splitting up

and I don't want you to split up. Are you sure YOU do?

Les and I were wondering perhaps

if you and Paul would like to go out for a meal or something tonight.

On us. And maybe drop in for a drink first?

Bury the hatchet and all that.

He's at the protest meeting at the pub now if you want to speak to him.

Ben...

..he is half expecting you.

I'm going to have to dash.

Is it half an hour already?

We can meet up again tonight, can't we?

Yeah, why not?

Great!

-Yeah.

-You're not worried about the age gap?

-No, are you?

-Not if you're not.

No, no not at all.

Brilliant.

I'll see you tonight, then.

-Right!

-What shall we say? Eight?

Yeah, yeah.

I'll make more of an effort then.

Oh no, you... You...

Oh, right, sorry. Bye, then.

Bye, thanks.

Right, now, there's just one more thing I need you all to do.

Our secret weapon.

On the back of these is the private email address of Steve Jacobs.

Who's Steve Jacobs?

Steve Jacobs is the chair of the planning committee.

He's also Ian Beale's golfing partner.

Ah! How'd you get hold of that, then, Buster?

-I have magical powers.

-LAUGHTER

As you know, Steve Jacobs is a politician

and politicians can be got at so what I want you all to do

is to write to him.

OK? Get everyone you know to write to him.

Now, my grandson here is going to tell you what to write.

Right.

Most important thing with an email like this is to be firm but polite.

Now, I'm happy to draft one for us to have a look at

and then we can all...

What's this?

It's a closed meeting, actually.

What are you doing here? Why aren't you on the stall?

Well, I'm being your spy in their camp, aren't I?

-Drink?

-Yeah.

Oh, there he is.

I'm going to need a drink first.

Your dad reckons I should tell Sonia the truth.

He says all liars are cowards.

Yeah, well, you know what I think.

How you getting on?

Liberty taker - won't even try my soup.

MOBILE BEEPS Oh, not again.

Mick, you read it this time.

Oh, Sonia.

"I'm back. Where are you?"

What am I going to do?

Teen, I can't have this conversation with you again,

I can't do it.

Mick, I'm frightened.

Right, that's what courage is.

It means you're frightened, but you'll still do it.

Shall I take some soup?

That's a good call.

Put some loop the loop in a flask, take it over there,

nice little gesture.

And whatever happens, I'm proud of you, OK?

Your nan said I'd find you here.

And?

Listen, I was wound up first thing. I weren't thinking.

What, and you're going to leave me every time you get wound up?

Paul, please...

Do you know how long I've been waiting around for you for?

You can't just pick me up and drop me when you want.

This feels right.

OK, and, Paul, it's scary, yeah?

But...I really do want it.

And you've had the offer of a free dinner...

Obviously.

So, am I undumped?

Recycled.

Is there anything special you'd like to do tonight, then, Mr Coker?

Surprise me. And consider that a challenge.

Is it me or did Ian look decidedly rattled earlier on?

If he sees us together, he's going to rumble us. Go on, clear off!

Stacey reckons I owe you an apology.

I was wrong. I shouldn't've done it. I'm sorry.

Spoken like a man.

Sorry?

I'm saying it's appreciated.

Oh, right.

This is where we shake hands, then.

And offer to buy each other a drink.

Oh, right, yeah, of course. What do you want?

I'm joking, mate! We've got to be back at work in a bit.

Are you two friends again?

Bezzie mates. Are you going to sit down?

-Actually...

-Yeah, yeah, come on, we'll sit down for a bit.

Nice cake.

Not a cake. It's a tarte tatin.

He made that, didn't you?

Quite the new man.

Am I?

Banning wolf whistles, baking cakes - regular feminist!

Men can be feminists.

Did I say they couldn't?

Hang on a sec. I get women being feminists, yeah?

They're just looking out for themselves.

What I don't get is MEN being feminists.

I mean what's in it for us, eh?

Unless there's something you're not telling us.

THEY LAUGH

What have I said?

You've told them?

No!

You have, haven't you?

No, I swear, I haven't said anything.

Some sister you are.

Is there something going on here we need to know about?

Now I've got to go after him.

What was all that about?

Kyle, just wait!

Leave me alone!

NATURE DOCUMENTARY ON TELEVISION

Has Tina gone home?

Yep. She's going to be all right.

Well, even if it does turn out to be cancer,

they can do wonders these days.

Yeah, well, Carol's still alive, ain't she? So...

Will Tina be, though?

What?

Still alive, when Sonia finds out about you-know-what.

I'm back, Son.

Hey. I've brought us some soup.

What?

We've got a visitor.

Why have you not answered any of my flamin' texts?

DRUM BEAT