06/12/2016 EastEnders

Morning. Ronnie doing the school run?

Nah, nah, just dropped 'em off.

Amy's got a couple of mates at the breakfast club,

she thinks it's the bee's knees.

Billy's just dropped my two off.

Like he hasn't got enough on his plate.

It's that kid's funeral today, ain't it? How's he coping?

Oh, you know Billy.

All he wants to do is make it as easy as possible for the family.

He takes the world on his shoulders sometimes.

Jack, just the thought of that little coffin, I mean...

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to bring up...

Ron! Ron!

Keys, keys...

Here.

Ta. Don't take this the wrong way, babe, but you look awful.

I just can't get it out my head.

How could I just let them snatch Ollie off me like that?

-Why didn't I fight back?

-Whit, it weren't your fault, all right?

-There was nothing you could've done.

-DOOR BUZZES

He's your little brother and I just let him slip through my fingers.

-Who is it?

-'Johnny.'

What if they had hurt him, Lee?

How about we go out tomorrow, eh?

Focus on how you're another year older, take your mind off things?

Sorry to barge in.

All right?

The police are coming round to ours later to take our fingerprints.

We've arranged it for tonight so you can be there.

I thought they'd already done all that?

They've taken prints from the Vic.

They need to take ours to eliminate us.

Otherwise, how do they know what's us and what's not?

Yeah. That makes sense. We'll be there.

Right, I've got to go to work.

Can I have an apple?

Course you can. Green, red?

There you go.

Oh!

Hey. You know what you two look like, don't you?

Humble, hardworking.

A bit like Bob Cratchit and his wife.

Oh, here we go, yeah. I've heard about you,

-dragging anyone that moves into this play of yours.

-Come on.

You're the first two people that I thought of for these parts.

Yeah. Look, Lily and Arthur, they could be like the little Cratchits.

You'd have a great time, wouldn't you? Yeah?

Nah. No way.

Oh. So what you afraid of, then?

Mick's doing it and I'm going to ask Jay next.

Do you really want to be the only bloke on the Square that's

not man enough to get up on that stage at Christmas?

If the kids would like it, then maybe we should do it?

Derek directing the play?

Yeah, be nice to see him again. Say hello.

-Fine!

-Yay!

But I am not dressing up as some urchin or, you know,

frolicky Victorian gentleman, or whatever.

You're an actor, Martin.

-'Ere, Dee!

-Yeah?

What time do you want picking up?

Your midwife appointment.

Pops is looking after Pearl. You said I could drive you, remember?

Yes, fine. Whatever.

You know what? I still haven't found me young Scrooge, I've got

three scenes that need rewriting before rehearsals on Thursday.

I have got, like, bigger things to think about than some appointment!

He's never not text for this long before.

You know Shaki, he's, like, attached to his phone.

So, maybe he's out of credit?

Or maybe he dropped his phone down the loo and it's chilling in

a bag of rice or something.

He's avoiding me.

Well, if that's true, then he's a loser and you should be the

one screening his calls.

Where's Dennis?

His breakfast's going cold in there, he's going to be late for school.

Meet you outside?

I think I might have heard him crying in the bathroom before.

Do you think he's all right?

-It's OK, Lou. Leave it with me.

-OK. Bye.

I've just spoken to the station guard at Walford East.

Now, he said that the best thing we can do is get

a taxi over to West Ham and they'll be waiting with the ramp

at 10.45 exactly to get us on the train.

I'm not the first person in a wheelchair to have used

-the Tube, Ian.

-Yeah, I know, but one thing the scouts taught me,

you know, be prepared and all that.

I'd better phone Winterville. Check their disabled access.

JANE SIGHS

We used to be able to go out for the day at the drop of a hat.

-Now look at us.

-Oh, I think it's sweet, all the effort he's going to.

And once you get there, it'll be like nothing's changed.

I promise you.

Right. You sure you'll be all right doing that stock check on your own?

Yes, I'll be fine. Go!

And don't forget to write down that you want an epi-doodle...

dural...thing!

She's off to do her birth plan with the midwife.

You know, I remember doing my first. I said, "No pain relief.

"I want a nice, calming water birth..."

Hmm!

I just thought I'd pop in, because I wondered if your lot wanted

to come round to our lot later?

I have to warn you, I have got an ulterior motive.

Wedding invites.

I thought if you and Billy and the kids helped, you know,

we could do it a lot quicker?

Normally I'd love to, I'd be there in a flash, but with little Eddie's

funeral today, I'm just afraid Billy might be feeling a little bit low.

Let me check with him.

All right? And if he's up for it, then we'd love to.

Yeah, of course. OK, I'll see you later.

See ya.

I saw it when I dropped Pearl off with Pops.

You must have known you needed this for the appointment

with the midwife.

You ever heard of baby brain?

And shouldn't you have done your birthing plan already?

I think I did mine with Pearl, like, early on.

But I only found out at five months.

And what are you doing going through my stuff anyway?

It's obvious that you've just been putting it off.

Just admit that you are worried.

Why would I be worried?

I have done this twice before, you know.

It ain't like childbirth changes with the fashion.

But you had someone with you then.

Look, Owen and Lucas may not have been perfect...

SHE SCOFFS

..but they were there to hold your hand, cut the cord.

Oh, Kim, I don't care who cuts the cord.

Could be the midwife, it could be a doctor,

it could be Edward Scissorhands...

Look, it's an important way to bond with your baby.

You can't let some random do that, and as there's no suitable daddy...

you can call me Kimmy Scissorhands.

Um, Mum says you're not feeling well.

It's a shame you're not going to Eddie's funeral.

It's not my fault I'm ill, is it?

I hate funerals because every time I go to one,

it reminds me of people that I've lost.

From now on, I'll always be thinking about Mum.

Or I'll be thinking about you lot, sitting there...when my time comes.

Is there anyone else you're thinking about? Apart from Eddie, I mean?

Do you think it hurts to get stabbed?

Like what happened to your dad?

Mum doesn't like to talk about it.

No.

So do you? Think it hurts?

You know...

..what happened to your dad, that weren't fair.

It weren't fair what happened to Eddie either.

I thought I wanted to go,

but when I woke up and thought about everyone crying, I...

Can't I just stay here?

Course you can. Yeah, if that's what you want.

You know, I'd have given anything not to go to my mum's funeral.

But when I got there and I saw all them people who'd turned

out for her, I was glad I did.

Because it made me proud.

It's hard to say goodbye.

But you will, you'll feel better when you have.

Look, your mum'll be back downstairs in a minute.

Why don't you put your coat on, just so you're ready, yeah?

Dennis. If you want to talk about what happened to your dad,

just say... and we'll talk about it, yeah?

You can't even walk in them things, how do you expect to drive?

It's all in the ankles. Don't worry about it!

Listen, when you go into labour,

I'm going to step into a comfortable pair of pumps to raise the alarm.

All right? Cross my heart.

Hold on, I haven't even said that you're going to be my birthing

partner, let alone anything else.

Course I'm going to be your birthing partner!

You was there for Pearl, I'm going to be there for this one.

Yeah, yeah...

It's just, I don't really like the idea of you looming over my bits

with a pair of scissors.

Oh. Do you think the father's going to turn up and want to do it,

is that it?

Look at him. He's at death's door.

You wouldn't believe he used to be someone, would you?

Sad.

-Casket's ready to go, yeah?

-I've polished it three times,

there ain't as much as a thumbprint on that thing.

And you've checked all the floral tributes are there, right?

I've put the ones from his mum and dad pride of place.

It doesn't seem right, does it?

I mean, "Grandad" I can live with, even "Mum",

but "Son"?

Hello? I'm not interrupting, am I?

No, no, but we'll be heading off shortly.

I just... I wanted to bring those for the hearse.

I know I didn't know the little boy, but it just felt like the

right thing to do somehow.

So many people have been coming in.

Wait until his family see how many flowers there are.

How are you holding up?

I'm just doing my job. It's not about me today.

A child's funeral is never easy.

You can't make the parents feel better - not today.

But they will look back on all of this and they'll be grateful

that you took the time to do such a lovely job.

I'll see you later, Billy.

Oh, Ron.

Honey mentioned you wanted us to come round to yours tonight.

-Yeah.

-That'd be good. Take my mind off all this.

That's correct, madam.

It's a fixed two-year contract with a 30% saving.

Great. I'll transfer you through to our sign-up department.

Wonderful. Thank you, bye-bye.

Listen.

The Old Bill are coming round to the Vic to take fingerprints.

What if they've got one of you lot on file?

You'd better hope they can't trace our prints.

Because if the Old Bill come knocking,

I'm sending them straight to your door.

All normal. Just how we like it.

I thought at my age I'd be on permanent bed rest by now.

You are fit and healthy.

There's no reason your pregnancy can't be the same.

Have you given any thought to your birth plan?

Uh, no. But my sister has.

She assumes things, does Kim, she always has.

It used to be that she just assumed she could borrow my clothes

whenever she felt like it.

This time, she assumes that because there isn't

a man on the scene that she will be my birthing partner.

But that's not what you want?

No, don't get me wrong - we're close.

I was there when she had her little girl.

I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Well, except for Pearl being born in a bog.

I'd probably change that bit.

THEY LAUGH

It's that...

It's just that things are a little bit more complicated with this baby.

There's a lot of stuff I haven't told her. About the pregnancy.

About the baby.

If I have her there with me and she's holding my hand,

cutting the cord, it's like she's invested.

The same way I am with Pearl.

How can I do that to my sister, without telling her the truth?

Thanks.

Is something wrong with your voicemail?

I was hoping you'd give up and stop bothering me.

Don't shoot the messenger, Ron, OK? It's not fair.

I only warned you about Jack, because I don't want to see you get hurt.

If I was out for myself, I'd have kept my mouth shut, wouldn't I?

There is nothing going on between Jack and Honey.

You've asked him?

I don't have to.

See you later.

See you.

Did you see me reverse out of that parking space?

-Yes, Kim.

-And the three-point turn on Victoria Road, did you see it?

Did you see it?

OK. Let me brief this up for you.

Everything that you've said and everything that you're about

to say - I saw it all,

because I was sitting next to you the whole time.

I think that you owe these shoes an apology for doubting them.

OK. Can you let someone else speak? Be quiet?

Just for five minutes?

The midwife didn't say anything bad, did she?

Sit down.

CAR HORN BEEPS

Oh, turn...! Turn around!

I told you you was going to block him in, didn't I?!

Go, go. It's not like it's anything that can't wait.

-You sure...?

-Go, before he gets the whole Square out on the street!

Oh, all right. Back in a minute.

SQUEALING

KIM YELLS

Oh, my days!

You've tripped and fell wearing them daft heels, ain't you?

It hurts!

I think I've broken my arm!

What is the matter?

Hoping I'd just take the hint and give up, were you?

Do you know how rude it is not to reply to so many messages?

Do you know how rude it is not to reply to one message?

I sent you that photo because I thought you'd be into it.

How am I supposed to feel when you text me back saying,

"Fancy the cinema on Sunday?"

I know. I know.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, well, it's all right. I get the message.

Please...

I know you wanted me to send you a picture back.

And I even took one, I just...

It's illegal. I was worried and I just couldn't do it.

It's not like I'm going to send it round the whole school.

It's for my eyes only.

Still! It's, like, me with no clothes on and...

and it's just too much. I can't do that sort of thing.

I'm not confident in that way.

And you think I am? I haven't been avoiding you.

I've been embarrassed, because you've seen mine and I haven't seen yours.

I love you...

I... I mean, you say some really funny things sometimes and...

I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings.

I love you too.

Look, I found some more players for you.

Here we go. Snap tournament!

You want to be careful what you say, mister,

because I'll have you know that I was snap champion at my school

three years running.

That's big talk, but can you walk the walk?

KNOCK AT DOOR

That'll be Billy.

I'll get it!

How'd it go?

Weird. Horrible.

Where'd this all come from?

Martin brought it round.

I slipped him an extra fiver to put the tree up and get the

decorations down from the loft.

It's Christmas time, ain't it?

About time we made this place look the part.

Me and Grant, we used to fight over who'd put the star on the tree.

And the old man, he used to pick which one of us got to do it,

every year.

Well, go on, then. What you waiting for?

Me?

Yeah. The others can have a go next year, can't they?

-Thanks, Phil.

-It's all right.

Where's Ben?

Dunno.

Ben! Ben?

Good day?

I don't want to think about it.

But, well, I can't stop.

Can I put it on now?

Yeah, go on, mate.

It's going to take a bit more effort getting this lot up, innit?

Don't worry. We'll all pitch in.

Nice one.

Jay...

Yay!

Happy families.

Shirley and Tina... There you go.

So what happened to this takeaway we were promised?

-Billy!

-No, it's all right. I'll order it.

Oh, thanks, Lauren.

See? I told you your mummy would be home from work.

Ah! Hello, baby!

How did Ian and Jane get on in town?

Well, they're not back yet, so they must be enjoying themselves.

Really? Ian said they were going to leave, latest, four o'clock, so they

didn't get caught in rush hour.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Oh, no!

So, do you want me to walk you home or...?

I think I can make it across the Square on my own, Shaks.

Will you just spit it out?

You've clearly been trying to tell me something for the past hour.

My brother Darius is over from Dubai for a few days.

Mum's going to meet him for dinner, so I thought maybe

if I stayed here...

And I came over, we'd have the place to ourselves?

Only if you want to. I mean, it's completely up to you...

I want to.

Get your coats on.

You'd better take this.

If I leave the leftovers here, Jack won't let the kids get a look in.

-What do you think's going to happen back at ours then, eh?

-Oi!

-Thanks. See you later.

-See you later.

See you, Jack.

See you later.

Right, the kids have brushed their teeth and they're ready for bed.

Is there something going on between you and Honey?

24 hours.

24 hours and I'm back to being driven around like a parcel.

Stupid shoes.

Hey, come on. Look, setbacks happen.

Don't worry about it.

But this was my chance, Dee!

This was the new chapter,

the reinvention of Kim Fox-Hubbard. And look at me.

Just look at me. Just a laughing stock, as always.

Hey. You're never a laughing stock. Not to me.

You was going to tell me something earlier?

Yeah...

This little lady heard her mum went through the wars and couldn't

wait to say hello.

-Ain't that right?

-Hi.

Hey, Pearly. Hi.

Hey. Look at Mum's arm.

Look. It hurts.

I don't want your tea. I want you to answer my question.

-I can't.

-Why not?

Because it's a stupid question and not worth my time.

-I mean, come on - me and Honey!

-HE LAUGHS

Don't you laugh at me, Jack.

It's funny! I mean, we're getting married. We're raising a family.

Why are you so paranoid?

Because every time I turn around there's you and Honey, huddled in a corner, laughing.

And I thought if I invited them round, I'd see that I was

wrong, but you know...

Is that why you invited them round? Are you being serious?

Look, we talk about the kids, yeah? School runs!

Stuff so boring it ain't worth repeating.

You call me paranoid if you want,

but I'm not the only one who's seen it.

Who?

Jane was so confident, she was well up for going.

Yeah, I know, but it's Christmas, ain't it? There's crowds everywhere.

What if someone's knocked her out of her chair,

or stumbled into her? Anything.

KNOCK AT DOOR

I thought the hospital said...

There'd been an accident.

Yeah. There has.

Hang on.

-I told you to wait, didn't I?

-It's OK, just...

Come on.

It's OK. Just slowly, slowly...

-Just go careful.

-Yeah, I'm fine.

What is all this about?

I asked Jack about him and Honey.

You know she's been running round all day trying to work out

whether I've had a fling or not because of you?

I knew you weren't OK with this. Why didn't you just talk to me?

And I haven't, by the way, thanks for asking(!)

I thought I saw something, OK? Obviously I was wrong, so what?

So you should have kept your mouth shut!

Can you stop shouting at her, please?

Do you really think I did all this just to stir the pot, do you?

I think you can't stand that we're happy.

All right? We're starting a new life and it's driving you mad.

You know what? I shouldn't waste my breath,

because pretty soon we'll be in Ongar, all right?

Far away from the likes of you.

That might be a little bit tricky...

seeing as I'm moving there with you.

No, no, lower me! Lower me gently.

No! I'm not a sack of spuds!

We are trying to be gentle, all right?

It sounds like they're trying to wrangle a rhinoceros in there.

What happened?

Oh, Ian really sweetly wanted to win me a teddy at the coconut shy.

He must have pulled his arm back a bit too much and...

You should have seen his face when his back went click.

After all that, he only won the booby prize.

He was still holding the coconut when they wheeled him

into the ambulance!

This is best for everyone, Jack.

I want a fresh start, but we can't just throw away everything

that works about our old life.

It doesn't, though, does it?

It doesn't work.

Every time we try and make a go of things, she finds a way to ruin it.

Sorry, have you ever thought that maybe it's you getting in the

middle of me and Ronnie?

How many times have we split up because of her?

Come on, tell me the truth.

Before she opened her mouth, had it even crossed your mind for

one second that I was cheating?

No. And one word from her and you're a paranoid wreck.

It's not Roxy's fault, I just got it wrong.

Can you stop making out that I'm mouthing off just out of spite?

Tell me our life wouldn't be simpler without her.

If we're going to make a fresh start, it can't be with her.

Admit it. Admit you'd rather it was just us.

OK.

I admit it would be nice to have a bit of space...

-Ron!

-..for ourselves, but...

but Roxy's my sister, that's what I was going to say.

So you just put up with me because we're related?

No! Now you're putting words in my mouth.

No, because I know you better than you know yourself.

All right? I know what you're thinking.

DOOR SLAMS

Fowler.

I don't care how you do it, but get Stacey home so you can get

down here and do your duty by coming and having a pint with the lads!

THEY CHEER

Yes, Rox?

Can I get a bottle of white wine? One glass, please.

Shouldn't you find your mates first?

You'd better catch the mongrels who've done this

and you better bang 'em up,

because I swear on my life...

I will not be suffering this a second time.

Thanks for that, Dot, yeah. Safe home.

You know, half the things you said don't apply.

Roxy's grown up a lot lately, she's not the same person any more.