27/12/2016 River City

Your sister, here. She had a wean in the jail.

Tried to keep it away from me.

She's going to be sitting on her grandad's knee

-before the year's out.

-No.

You're right. He's a monster!

And monsters need a stake through the heart.

What do you think you're doing, having a gun around my daughter?!

Put that down afore you hurt yourself.

I'll put the gun to his head and I will pull the trigger!

Your father does not get to destroy another life.

I won't let that happen.

You have turned her against me!

-ALEX:

-Do you know what happens when you push people too far?

Everyone's got a breaking point, Lenny.

CHOIR SINGS: # Snow had fallen

# Snow on snow

# Snow on snow

# In the bleak midwinter

# Long... #

Call an ambulance.

Scarlett.

Scarlett, come on!

The police, too.

The polis?!

He's been shot.

Today was good, wasn't it?

Aye.

Mostly, anyway.

Mostly, aye.

Look, you don't need to worry about me, all right?

All right.

My ma's been away for a bit, hasn't she?

Molly would have dragged her in for a cup of tea.

I'll gie her a minute, then I'll go and get her up the road.

You support his head and his shoulders. That's it.

I'm just gonnae apply pressure.

Is he gonnae die?

Everybody dies, Scarlett.

-What's happened?

-He's been shot.

-Oh, God!

-Who's the guy?

That's Lenny Murdoch.

That's your boyfriend's dad...?

Ex-boyfriend, I mean.

Yeah, can I fill you in on that later, Greig?

Sorry. Is there an exit wound?

-Why?

-Well, if the bullet's still in there,

-then it can do all kinds of damage.

-Oh, my God!

SIRENS IN DISTANCE

Is... Is he alive?

Yeah, he is.

OK, is there anything I can do to help, or...?

No, look, it's fine. We've got it covered, OK?

It's fine. You're doing well.

I... I can feel his blood on me.

I'm... I'm going to get Alex.

DOOR OPENS

-I've been trying to call you!

-Phone's dead.

You've got to...

Alex!

It's Dad.

He's been shot.

Is he...?

I don't think so. But...come on!

Don't, please.

How? She's had a shock.

I don't want any evidence contaminated.

What evidence? What are you talking about?

Scarlett, you're going to have to go down to the police station, OK?

What? How?

This is a crime scene and you're all over it,

and vice versa.

Guys? Can you take care of this lady, please?

This is Mrs Mullen.

What are you talking about?

Just go with them.

I'll give you two a lift down to the hospital.

He won't sell many ice creams going at that speed.

Oh, that joke is older than you.

Eric Morecambe, one of the greats.

Oh, yes. No question!

I wonder if there's any of their Christmas shows on anywhere.

Right, off to my bed.

Aw, don't be a lightweight.

I'm knackered.

C'mon, c'mon. Sit your short, fat, hairy legs down.

As long as you promise not to sing along to Bring Me Sunshine.

You're right.

I should be resting my voice for Hogmanay.

Aye, that's exactly what I meant.

Is that all you need to rest?

How'd you mean?

Well, couldn't help noticing

you getting very cosy with Caitlin AND Scarlett earlier on.

A little thing called magnetism.

It's a cross I have to bear.

Right, well, mind you don't end up getting nailed to it.

Thanks very much.

Can I see him?

He's still in surgery.

How bad?

We'll know more once they open him up.

-Oh, God.

-Was it just the one bullet?

As far as I could tell, yeah.

He talked about ruffling a few feathers.

That was a lie, I think.

He was definitely back in the game.

He's been in the game for decades.

A man like that makes enemies.

Undoubtedly.

And is that what you think, though? That the killer might be a rival?

You know, that someone wants to settle a score with him?

What?

I think we'll stick to the term "assailant", for now.

Oh, of course.

I apologise.

You're right, though. Lenny is an underworld figure.

That will have to inform any investigation.

Though the thing about gangland types is

they don't usually restrict themselves to just the one shot.

I'm going to find out what's happening.

I'll need to get a statement from you, Doctor,

and probably most of your clothes.

Are you all right to hang around?

Can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be on Christmas night.

Do you want some help with that?

Right, you just need a second signature on this form,

and then you need to...

Hmm.

What is it?

Lenny's DNR.

What do you mean?

During his last bout of MS,

Lenny requested a Do Not Resuscitate form.

Would that still apply?

If the situation arises, they will want to talk to you about it.

It's a conversation both of you need to be prepared to have.

Well, there is no conversation. This is different.

How?

Having MS isn't the same as being shot.

I can safely assume that your dad

would not want to be kept alive by machines alone.

No.

Well, I'm his next of kin. It'll be up to me.

Whatever you say, sis.

-OK, Doc?

-Yes.

You two going to be staying here?

Yeah, of course.

For the time being.

Good.

Are we suspects?

As the doctor here pointed out, your father has a lot of enemies.

And you're one of them.

Excuse us.

-I thought she'd be well back by now.

-Aye.

Look, I'm just going to go down to the station.

You cannae, you'll be over the limit.

Aye. Aye, you're right.

Here, do you think the doctor working on Lenny's had a few festive swallies himself?

Naw, these are dedicated professionals, mate.

Aye, it'd be a right shame

if the scalpel slipped at that vital moment.

Aye, would be a tragedy.

Miracle-workers, the NHS.

-Still, even miracle-workers have a day aff, right?

-Aye.

I'm sorry this has all taken so long.

I'm sure you'll be anxious to get back to your family.

You're only doing your job.

Well, I'll try and do it quickly.

All I need you to do is, in your own words,

describe exactly what happened.

Well, I was on my way back to my house.

From where?

I'd been at my ma's flat.

I was chumming her along the road,

cos it was late and...

she's ancient.

I didnae hang about,

I just went to leave,

and then I seen Annie...

Doctor Jandhu...

..standing, looking down at him.

She was already there?

And did you recognise immediately

the person who was lying on the ground?

There's nae mistaking that yin.

I suppose not.

You didn't see anybody else?

No.

Did you hear anything?

No.

No gunshot?

From a distance, I mean.

Nothing. Sorry.

Did you see anybody coming out of Amber Cabs?

Amber Cabs?

We believe the attempt on Mr Murdoch's life

took place in his office.

Are you...?

Are you joking?

Well, we're waiting for the Scene of Crime Officers to confirm,

but our initial investigation points at that, yes.

Right.

Right.

Why does that surprise you?

What do you mean?

Well, if you didn't see or hear anything on the street itself,

why assume that's where it happened?

I don't know.

I mean, you don't expect a guy to...

..take a wee stroll with a bullet in him, do you? I mean...

I suppose not.

MACHINES BEEP

How long are you going to stay?

I don't know.

What if he doesn't regain consciousness?

What, you mean if he's comatose?

I mean if he dies.

Part of me is standing here, willing that line to go flat.

Beeeeep.

Only part of you?

A substantial amount.

Do you no' feel the same?

I don't know.

I mean, I know you and the nice doctor lady would toss a coin

and let the winner pull the plug, but...

That's not what she said.

Sounded a bit like it.

You must have the same kind of thoughts.

If he wasn't here, your daughter would be safe.

Can we not talk about her?

If that's what you want, but...

It is.

I saw Lenny lying on the ground,

and I hurried over,

checked his vital signs, and I asked Scarlett to call an ambulance.

Where were you headed?

Home.

From?

The pub.

It's the Tall Ship Public House.

You didn't see or hear anything or anyone?

Nothing.

Prior to finding him in the street,

when was the last time you saw Mr Murdoch?

Earlier today.

Where was that?

At his flat.

You were at his flat?

I was.

Social call?

Not...exactly.

"Exactly" is what we require, so...

It was a business matter.

Unfortunately, we're partners in the same company.

"Unfortunately"?

Did you argue?

Absolutely.

I didn't shoot him, if that's what you're asking.

It's not.

Good to have that on record, though, eh?

I just wonder about your response to finding Mr Murdoch wounded?

I don't understand.

Well, you treated him, you engaged Mrs Mullen's help,

you continued to provide treatment

even after the paramedics had arrived.

Well, I felt confident in what I was dealing with.

I knew we were dealing with a single gunshot wound.

Well, that proved to be correct.

The surgeons have successfully removed the bullet, by the way.

Good.

That'll give him a fighting chance, then.

That remains to be seen.

Hey, you OK? You were ages.

I know, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.

Never worry.

Did they take your clothes?

Forensics.

What's happening? Is Alex's dad going to be OK?

Don't know.

Don't particularly care.

You don't mean that.

-Don't I?

-Well, you're a doctor.

Well, he's somebody else's problem now.

I mean, but feel free to lecture me on medical ethics.

Sorry(!)

Hey, it's all right, everybody's tired.

It'll be fine in the morning.

I'm sorry. I just really need to get some sleep, OK?

You...enjoy what's left of Christmas.

Goodnight, Annie.

Goodnight.

Welcome home.

She's a tough cookie, your sister.

She'll be all right.

Shall we go back to bed?

We could do that.

Or...

we could stay right here.

Greig Roth, I'm shocked!

You better get used to it.

You know what word pops into my head, looking at you?

Stalwart.

Full-on Christmas, and yet here you are,

crack of dawn Boxing Day,

for the folk with a fridge full of leftover chipolatas

and no milk for a brew.

Well, we've got to keep things ticking along, eh?

Speaking of which,

got a text from a regular customer,

big fan of the old herbal tea.

Tell them we're closed for now, eh?

Aye?

Aye. I cannae handle it the now.

Probably wise anyway.

Neighbourhood's full of coppers.

Think there's been a break-in at the cab office.

Don't you know?

Haven't you heard?

Heard what?

Lenny's been shot.

No way.

Is he dead?

No. No' yet, anyway.

I mean, I think it's touch-and-go.

I hope the cabs are back running by Hogmanay.

Is that all you're worried about?

I'm not worried at all, doll.

It's going to be epic.

DOOR OPENS

Can you tell this nice officer I'm practically family?

He's got more lives than a cat, this one.

What are you doing here?

I've come to see you, of course.

What should I do, Red?

I don't know.

What do you mean?

Should I talk to the police?

Are there things you need to tell them?

I mean, after our little... altercation in the pub,

I didn't know where to go.

So I just wandered.

Wandered?

Mm. It was freezing.

I don't know how long I was out there.

Finally, I went back to the flat,

and just sat and thought about the day we'd had planned

and how none of it had gone how we wanted.

No.

There'll be other Christmases, I suppose.

But life goes on, no matter what.

We're living proof of that.

Maybe you should...

Should what?

Maybe you should keep your head down.

Stay away from the police, you mean?

Maybe.

You might be right.

Ex-con and all that.

They could just pin it on me to have a quiet life.

Donald's not like that.

Oh, your hero's in charge, is he?

Well, everything should be fine, then.

Yes.

Then again, no-one could pin anything on me

if daddy darling regains consciousness

and tells us who pulled the trigger.

Yeah.

Me and you.

Wanting Lenny to live.

Life's cruel, isn't it?

Oh, it can be.

No question.

I should get showered and changed.

Shall I call us a cab?

No, no, I'm going to go...

What, home?

As in, not with me?

Well, I should see Alex.

Family's very important.

Stay strong.

Lovely morning(!)

Guys, can you just clear the room for a second?

I just want to clear my head.

That's me all done.

You guys can get back to work.

You OK?

Splitting headache.

You should get some sleep.

No, I'm going straight back.

Why? If anything changes, they'll call us.

You're being very calm about this.

DOOR BUZZER

I'm a Murdoch, remember?

We don't let a little thing like attempted murder get under our skin.

-INTERCOM:

-'It's DI Donald. I need a few words.'

Come up.

Friendly neighbourhood policeman's here.

You don't think he's...?

What?

The hospital would ring us first, if he was...?

Well, there's your answer.

If Lenny was dead, he'd come skipping in.

Isn't that right, Inspector?

I see you've inherited your father's sense of humour.

Mm-hm. And my mother's eyes.

What's happening?

I'm still trying to piece together the chain of events from last night.

No offence, but are you the best man for the job?

Alex, can you be serious for five minutes?

I'm being completely serious!

It's not exactly ideal, is it?

Having an investigating officer

who'd happily pull the trigger himself.

Sergeant. Over here.

Isn't everything covered by CCTV, these days?

We will go through a lot of footage,

but there's nothing for Amber Cabs itself.

The closest cameras were vandalised a month or so ago.

Right when Lenny became bored with being a civilian.

Very possibly.

Anyway, we've narrowed down the time of the shooting

to between 7pm and when we found your father at 7:45pm.

Can you account for your whereabouts during that period?

Me?

You.

I left the pub, came back here,

had another drink.

Alone?

Entirely.

Am I a suspect?

You and your father have a fairly combustible relationship.

Had you argued that day?

Well, there was some tension over whose turn it was to say grace.

Don't waste my time.

Well, what do you want me to say?

We argued, yes.

He was bitter and twisted and manipulative,

because that's who he is.

Doesn't there come a point where a person...

can't take any more?

Definitely.

Which is why you should probably try talking to the person

who physically assaulted him an hour before he was shot.

He means Belinda.

She scratched his face in the pub.

She was...hysterical.

I'm going to get dressed.

Maybe you could look in on the local psycho?

In due course.

I, er...

checked Amber Cabs.

For what?

For any links to you and me.

We don't want this investigation leading to any other...matters.

God, no.

I still need to question you.

Officially, you know, take a statement.

-Yeah, of course.

-Yeah.

Wait.

I'll need to go officially go on record.

About the reason why I argued with my dad.

Yes.

If there's any way, any way at all,

that that could be kept out of public knowledge...

Amber?

When the time comes, just follow my lead. OK?

PHONE RINGS

Sorry.

Donald.

Where?

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

Thank God you're here, doll.

Maybe you can get him to shut this rubbish aff.

It's no' rubbish, it's amazing.

I'm a bag of nerves as it is!

MUSIC STOPS

OK, OK.

-Hi.

-How's it going?

Folk are getting blown away on our doorstep, that's how it's going!

My maw's no' handling it all very well.

It's scary stuff.

I'm no' setting foot outside until they catch whoever did it.

You no' going out for a drink, see what the gossip is?

Well...

I could babysit.

Babysitting's no' an issue,

cos Ruby's at the pictures with her pal, so...

As you well know!

What?

What you want is this place to yourself

-so you can get up to your shenanigans.

-Mum!

I was young once and all, you know.

We were just going to chill.

Well, we can "chill" here together, then, can't we?

Could you tell us what you believe caused this fight in The Tall Ship?

Belinda and I were...

Well, we had a friendship in prison.

My father didn't approve,

and he made no secret of the fact that he wanted her gone.

So, they were...enemies?

Yes.

Enemies.

And as far as you know,

she had no further contact with your father

after the altercation in the pub?

As far as I know, but...

Go on.

Look, I don't think she...

I mean, people say things all the time, don't they?

In the heat of the moment.

I don't think she meant it.

Meant what?

Amber, this is a statement.

You don't need to worry about who meant what.

All we care about are the facts.

Please.

Earlier...

..she told me...

She said she wanted to put his gun to his head

and pull the trigger.

Was I OK?

Fine.

Though I must admit,

Belinda making such a direct threat took me by surprise.

Sorry, I should've said something before now.

I wasn't thinking straight.

Is it any wonder? You were probably in shock.

Thanks for...

For looking after me, and... You know.

Amber, did you shoot your father?

No.

Then you don't need to thank me.

There's no reason for you,

or your daughter,

to be collateral damage in all this.

Belinda knows about Charlotte.

So if you question her...

I will tread carefully.

I'll arrange a lift...home?

No. Hospital.

You should get some sleep.

Not much chance of that.

-Another busy day.

-Yeah?

I thought it'd be dead between Christmas and New Year,

but we've had the police, we've had journalists...

You trying to be funny?

I'm just saying, every cloud.

Have a nice day, AJ.

So is he going to live?

That's a very blunt question.

Well, you had your coffee to go,

I didn't think I had time for subtlety.

Well, you should show a little respect.

Oh, I apologise, Don Alessandro(!)

Do you want me to kiss your ring, as well(?)

Actually, AJ, I think he'll pull through,

thanks to Annie.

-Annie?

-Uh-huh.

She probably saved my father's life.

Alex. How you getting on?

Pretty good, all things considered.

Gunplay, eh?

Folk getting shot in the street.

Season of goodwill to all men, eh?

I'm sure the police will apprehend the culprit in no time.

Lenny will be out of hospital, and we can all get back to normal.

Aye, for you, maybe. That's the kind of world that you move in.

See the rest of us, though? Don't fancy living in a war zone.

Tell you what, if and when my father gets back on his feet,

take it up with him.

This is not good, my friend.

Not good at all.

No. It's grim.

It's going to need something special to reunite this community.

Yeah.

Sorry, what?

The show. Hogmanay.

I'll have to up my game.

Considerably.

Thought you'd be here sooner.

I'm pursuing all avenues of inquiry.

And you're pursuing me alone?

I didn't think I needed backup.

What you don't need is witnesses.

No?

Not until you know what I know, what I'm going to say.

You're covering for yourself.

It's a preliminary conversation.

Well, it's over.

I'm not saying another word to you.

Not without assurances.

I've got witnesses that saw you attack Lenny in the pub.

That alone's enough to put you back behind bars.

Not if I make a deal.

What have you got to bargain with?

Information.

You saw something?

I saw someone.

Who?

I need to know where I stand, before I say any more.

We can work something out, I'm sure.

I'm sure, too.

But I want to make it official.

I want it down in writing.

And I want people present when I make my statement.

Anyone would think you didn't trust me, Belinda.

I've learned not to trust anybody, Inspector.

You're slowing the process down now.

-Well, let's get down to the station, then.

-Fine.

You'll be needing that.

Why?

I was wearing it Christmas day. You saw me.

You'll want to analyse that for gunshot residue.

Are you telling me how to do my job?

I was in prison a long time.

You pick up all sorts of information about police procedure,

and that's why I know you're not playing this straight.

We can go now.

Touchy much?

Maybe your clothes need analysing, too.

I'd have got you something if I'd known you were here.

I'm not staying.

You're practically living at the hospital.

There's nowhere else I'd rather be.

You're not exactly letting the grass grow.

Do you know how long Lenny will be out of commission?

-No.

-He could be comatose for months.

OK, OK.

I'm just saying, the world still turns.

The Candle Rooms needs to open.

The cab firm needs to get back in business.

The care-home deal is a mess.

All this uncertainty is not good for anybody.

Everything's uncertain.

Everything.

Well, I won't live in that limbo.

Neither should you.

Are you satisfied that this statement

represents a truthful account of your movements

on the night of December 25th, 2016?

Yep, I am.

100%.

Great.

Well, I'll have this typed up for your signature and then...

-I'll be free to go.

-I imagine so, yeah.

Yeah, those clothes I sent over -

I'm going to need a GSR analysis done on them, too.

Yeah, I know what day it is.

-Makes your blood run cold, eh?

-Hmm?

I mean, it was only last week, what happened.

I mean, he's no' even a relation of mine, but for you...

Yeah, well...

-Are you going in there?

-What?

Can you bring yourself to cross the threshold

of the actual scene of the actual crime?

-I don't know.

-I don't blame you.

Was there blood on the floor in there?

Please, will you just leave me be?

Pardon me for being community-spirited!

-What sort of time are you thinking?

-Well, eight till late, I imagine.

-Certainly till the bells.

-Cool.

I'm not sure I can promise cool, but I'm hoping it'll be fun.

Ah, good, I'm glad I didn't miss you.

-Big Al, how you doing?

-Splendid, splendid.

-I wanted to drop off a somewhat overdue Christmas present.

-Oh!

-A book?

-By the mistress of the genre.

-Aw, nobody's ever bought me a book.

-Then I hope you take pleasure in it.

Though I did wonder if a murder-mystery novel

might be a tad distasteful, given last week's events.

Och, I've just seen Amber there.

She's in too much of a daze to be offended by anything.

-Ah.

-Aye.

-Alasdair's invited us over to his tomorrow night.

Aw, I'd love that, but I promised Pete I'd go to his Hogmanay gig.

-Oh, that's a shame.

-Could me and Ruby go?

Absolutely you can, if your mother has no objections.

-I don't.

-Then I shall see you tomorrow.

And I shall see you next year. Cheerio.

Let me get this straight.

My teenage son is taking his wee sister out for Hogmanay

with a load of coffin-dodgers while I go to a boozer?

Basically, aye.

Result!

-Is that straight?

-It'll dae.

Well, you're no' exactly a perfectionist, are you?

A mug is what I am. I'm trying to keep the garage going

and Angus is getting me to run this place an' all.

Phone calls, e-mails, and he forgets about the time difference.

-Did he organise all this?

-Oh, aye, chuffed wi' his wee self.

"Do you get it, Bob? 16 going on 17, like The Sound Of Music."

Fair play to him. I take it he ordered this

before things went a bit Tarantino round here.

He knows all about that.

"Is it going to stop folk coming in?"

Cannae see Lenny coming in, right enough.

-I wish they'd get somebody for that.

-Aye.

Aye.

I mean, I don't know if I'd want them getting banged up

or getting a medal,

but I don't like the thought of some guy walking about

-that could dae something like that.

-Aye.

-What is it?

-That's no' straight.

I thought the surgery would be shut today.

Yeah, it is. Means I can get some work done this afternoon.

Oh, so you're keeping that, then?

Well, I'm hardly going to find another Dr A Sheldon

to flog it to, am I?

Is that the only reason?

Or is it that the dishy doc

isn't willing to give up on the local bad boy?

Frankie, get a plate!

Look at the crumbs everywhere!

-All right, ladies.

-What a vision(!)

Oh, I'm just the luckiest girl in the world, aren't I?

All right, all right. No more mocking till I've had my breakfast.

-Feeling a bit tender, are we?

-Hmm.

-Were you out with Andy?

-Aye, who else?

He's coming out tonight, too, to that wine-bar thing.

-The Pop-Up, you mean?

-Aye, whatever.

-Oh, here, Annie, maybe you should come, too.

-Why, exactly?

Well, so that Andy doesn't feel like a spare part.

I'm sure he doesn't need setting up.

No. Neither do I, thank you very much.

She always was a bit touchy.

Frankie, love, get the kettle on.

When would be a good time to do a sound check, Boss?

-Sound check? IMITATES ELVIS:

-Uh-huh!

-I mean, uh-huh.

-But you're only doing ten minutes.

You know what they say - fail to prepare, prepare to fail.

Fine. Right, how about now? Are you ready?

-I was born ready.

-Right, on you go, then,

cos I need to sort out this delivery

or your adoring public will have nothing to drink.

Don't let me stop you.

After all, you know what they said -

even the all-time greats needed a well-lubricated audience.

-Bob?

-We're closed, sorry.

Don't be sorry. I was hoping for a bit of privacy.

-Something wrong?

-I just want to go over Christmas night.

-Again?

-It's an ongoing investigation.

-But I told you everything the other day.

-Indulge me.

-Do I have a choice?

-Not remotely.

-OVER MIC:

-'One, two, one, two.'

-FEEDBACK

-Pete!

-'Thank you very much.'

My bad. My bad.

Look, you'll need to give us a wee while, mate.

Inspector, I don't know what time you finish work,

but if you're at a loose end tonight...

-I think I might be busy. Thanks, anyway.

-No problemo.

-Am I a genius or am I genius?

-That's not the word I was getting.

Look, we turn up, say hello, hang about for a bit.

Not thrilling so far.

Then, when Ruby's digging into a big bowl of trifle,

or whatever it is old people dish up,

I say I need to walk you home.

They watch Ruby.

And we get the house to ourselves for some alone time.

Maybe genius IS the word.

How...?

Oh, these?

I'm not listening to anything.

I just keep them in when I don't want people bothering me.

-Get that a lot, do you?

-Why, don't you?

-Listen...

-Look, relax. I'm not going to blab.

I've got a little sister of my own I need to ditch.

We're all on the same side.

-Annie, have you got a second?

-I don't think that's a good idea.

-I want to talk business.

-Well, I know that's not a good idea.

We can't just avoid the reality of the situation.

We can't just avoid each other.

Five minutes.

-Bag looks good.

-Don't push your luck.

You can leave that open.

Force of habit.

I thought we had serious things to discuss.

I think that we can block the care-home deal.

-Go on.

-The offer to buy includes a standard cooling-off period -

28 days from the date of signature where either party can withdraw.

The buyer would never do that.

I'm not talking about the buyers. I'm talking about Lenny.

-Well, he's in no fit state, I mean, even if he wanted to.

-Exactly.

We apply for an injunction to extend the cooling-off period indefinitely

until such time as our partner can make a decision.

-And you think that'll work?

-It might muddy the waters enough

to make our little enterprise a less appealing project.

They're not going to want to be tied up in court.

And if he dies?

Well, if he dies, then we can definitely block the sale.

You know, anyone listening to this discussion

would think that we both have a motive to commit murder.

Then it's probably best we're having it in private, then.

Yeah.

If DI Donald could hear us now...

He'd probably pin a medal on you.

Or you.

Or me.

I'm sorry I called you weak on Christmas Day.

I was weak.

That won't happen again. Believe me.

Somehow I do - believe you.

Good.

Cos we're in this together.

I'm beginning to realise that more and more.

What's so funny?

This room. You and me.

We've got a history of secret meetings, haven't we?

Yes, but as you said, this is a serious business discussion.

That's right.

And I think we've said all we need to say.

We can talk more later.

Amber's spending a lot of time at the hospital,

dutiful daughter, so...

I've got plans.

Oh?

Uh-huh.

Well, then. Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Oh, she was raging. I mean, not losing it.

More like a cold fury.

Sorry, can we just go back a second.

What got Scarlett so wound up?

Madonna seeing the gun in Lenny's office. Are you not listening to me?

I'm just trying to build a timeline of events in my head.

So this would have been about 5pm Christmas Day?

Thereabouts. I can't say for definite

cos we'd all had a good swally by then, right enough.

You were drunk?

Merry anyhow.

Everyone?

Everyone.

So you can't be certain of...

Why the sudden interest in Scarlett anyhow?

Is she the prime suspect?

Well, she hates Lenny.

Mind you, throw a stick about here anywhere

and you'd find somebody that hates Lenny.

He wouldn't win many popularity contests, that's for sure.

She called him vermin.

Sorry.

Go on, you can speak freely, son.

On Christmas Day, Mrs Mullen said...

.."He's not even human, he's vermin."

That's what she said.

-Here.

-Oh, thanks, sweetheart.

You're a wee star, but you don't need to be babysitting me.

I'm just going to hang out with you for a bit.

You helped Bubba this morning, now me. What about your own job?

I'll need to speak to Amber,

but I think she's got other things on her mind.

You should go in as normal, see if she notices.

Maybe.

If you're not up to it, I mean...

Maybe folk just don't want to see the local weirdo hanging about

when they're doing a spin class.

I thought you'd stopped thinking like that.

Mrs Mullen, I'd like a word.

Can I get a minute, please?

Actually, no.

What's going on?

I have more questions.

Well, ask them then.

Patrick, it's all right.

Scarlett Mullen, I'm hereby giving you due notice

that you will be taken to Mossgreen Police Station,

where you will be questioned under caution

regarding the attempted murder of Lenny Murdoch.

Thank you for the coffee, my man. Delicious as always.

Aye, well, I didn't see that you needed it today.

Oh, I need as much vim and vigour as I can muster, believe you me.

This doesn't look good.

What are you doing? You cannae just take her.

Step away from the car, Mr Adams.

Bubba, do what he says, all right?

It's a misunderstanding, that's all it is.

You can't take her away, she's top of my guest list!

Nobody cares about your stupid wee Elvis show, mate.

I'm just giving your mother something to look forward to.

Positive visualisation, it's called.

Pete, maybe give the guys a bit of space?

Look at this. Look!

Your family making our lives hell again.

They think...? They think Scarlett shot Lenny?

-Oh, you look nice?

-What, this old thing?

-What, you mean you bought it this afternoon, right?

-Right.

Hey, don't smudge my lipstick.

Do you know what I was just thinking?

"My wife's a total hottie"?

Yeah, obviously.

But apart from that, this place is like of a bit of a TARDIS, isn't it?

Yeah, I do feel like I'm going back in time when I look at the wallpaper.

Yeah, but it's big, deceptively big.

I reckon we could have an en suite on our room,

if we took away that hall cupboard there.

And when Auntie Annie moves out,

it could be a home office, study, whatever.

I like her thinking.

Well, think away.

But we're renting, so we can't even hang a picture

without getting the landlord's permission.

-Come on, we'll get permission.

-It's an awful lot of work.

I can turn my hand to almost anything.

Can we just slow down and have a think about it?

I don't want to kick Annie out.

Come on. It's not like we're kicking her out.

You know, what happens if her and Andy hit it off,

she could shack up with him.

Speak of the devil.

What?

Just ignore him, he's being juvenile.

Come on, it's hardly my fault I'm a hopeless romantic, eh?

Scarlett's been arrested.

What, Scarlett from the shop? For Lenny?

For Lenny.

Wow. I guess it's not always the quiet ones then, eh?

Disaster.

Disaster, disaster.

-What is?

-Calamity.

-Pete.

-I went to pick up my suit from the dry-cleaner's

right before they shut.

What, and they couldn't get the ketchup out?

They've given me the wrong thing.

Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!

-Oh, that is bad.

-You're telling me.

I've worn that suit every gig since the first time in Vegas, '99.

I didn't know you'd played Vegas.

Aye, cracking wee club on the outskirts of Carnoustie.

Lap-dancing place, last I heard.

AJ, what am I going to do?

You could try a drag act?

Look, I'm kidding. Be yourself.

My... Myself?

The suit's just a suit.

It's all about personality -

and, God knows, you've got that in spades.

Thank you.

The cheese puffs were enough of a treat, thank you.

Well, it certainly is wonderful having a house full of young people.

-If it's getting a bit crowded, me and Jules could...

-Far from it.

You've absolutely made Liz's day.

We have?

Well, Molly is so worried about Scarlett, naturally,

and Liz is worried for her friend,

so having company is working wonders.

I found the barley water.

-See?

-Yeah, wonders.

No?

You know what we should do?

Risk the drop from the window?

Play a game.

Are you out of your mind?

They've gone to so much trouble.

It's no big deal to play a game first.

Well, of course! It wouldn't be a party without a game.

I'm guessing that Cluedo... is not an option?

-Do you recognise this document?

-Aye.

It's the statement you gave

regarding the events of Christmas night, 2016.

Aye.

Is that your signature?

-It is.

-You remember putting your name to these words?

I do.

You remember we took your prints and DNA

when you were here previously?

Of course.

We also kept some of your clothes.

I haven't had them back, by the way.

Yeah, well, sorry about that.

With the best will in the world,

the labs aren't as efficient as they might be, at this time of year.

Anyway, that's why the results have been so slow in arriving.

Now, we took your DNA and your prints

cos you'd been in contact with Lenny as he lay bleeding.

Aye.

So can you tell me why the same DNA and prints were found

in the Amber Cabs office too?

You were there Christmas night.

Mrs Mullen.

Aye, I was there.

Why didn't you mention that in your previous statement?

I didn't think it mattered.

Please don't lie to me.

All right, I just thought it would look bad.

It does look bad, you're right about that.

I was there for two minutes,

I gave him a piece of my mind and then I left.

-You argued?

-Aye.

About?

Scarlett, you're not doing yourself any favours here.

All right, we argued. We've argued a million times.

You hold Lenny responsible for your husband's incarceration.

What? Aye, I do, but I wouldn't...

That's not what you argued about this time?

No.

No, Madonna had seen a gun, right inside his office.

So I told him I didn't want her anywhere near him from now on.

And did he respect your wishes?

He doesn't respect anybody.

Is that why you shot him?

I did no such thing!

Then can you offer an explanation

as to why we found gunshot residue on your clothing?

I made the labs double-check, but there is no doubt.

You discharged a firearm on Christmas night, Scarlett.

You pulled the trigger.

Here, do you know what we need?

-What?

-We need Murdoch to wake up.

Aye.

So that way he can set the polis straight.

Aye.

-Unless...

-Don't, right?

Don't even think about that.

I was holding the gun, and he was winding me up, and it went off.

Scarlett, if you point a gun at a person and it goes off,

that counts as shooting someone.

Aye, but I missed.

No, not missed, cos I wasn't trying to hit him.

But it went through the wall.

Yeah, we found that bullet.

Aye. OK, then.

The first bullet.

-There was only one.

-No.

The second one required a surgeon to remove it from Lenny's lung.

No, but that wasn't...

He grabbed it off me and I got out of there.

Leaving him alive and well?

That's what I've been saying all along.

Not all along, you didn't say it in here.

That gun was found less than 100 yards from where you were seen

standing over Lenny in the street.

I didn't put it there.

That was the gun used against Lenny.

You've just admitted firing it.

Firing, aye. Shooting, no.

One gun. Two bullets.

You were there, you had motive, you had opportunity.

You lied in your original statement.

But I was scared.

We have DNA. We have prints.

We have the gunshot residue, Scarlett. Come on.

No!

Fine. Scarlett Mullen, I am hereby arresting you

for the attempted murder of Leonard Murdoch on 25th of December, 2016.

You do not have to say anything,

but it may harm your defence if you fail to mention, when questioned,

something you later rely on in court.

Anything you do say may be used in evidence.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

Welcome, folks. Welcome, one and all.

Evening, guys.

AJ.

Nearly didn't see you there, in the hordes of people(!)

I forgot all about your sense of humour.

It's a gift.

Well, that's one word for it.

Drinks?

Absolutely.

-Feeling good?

-Sensational.

So when are you on?

Midnight, of course. Top of the bill.

-Wow.

-What?

Well, that's...bold.

-That's the way I roll, man. I've got something special planned.

-Good. I haven't missed you.

Bags of time yet, doll.

Colonel Tom, get the lady a beverage,

I'll have a word with the support.

Pop star.

Rapped with Jay-Z.

Oh, yeah, that'll help(!)

Mention the Frank Ocean collaboration

to really seal the deal.

Gold digger.

I'm not entirely up to speed with the hit parade.

Married to Kim Kardashian.

-Kim, who?

-Oh, now, I know her!

Pretty girl.

Voluptuous.

-Admit it, it was worth staying just to see Liz do that.

-Aye.

Is it the chap with the trousers?

MC Hammer?

THEY LAUGH

MACHINES BEEP

Did you...?

-Have you...?

-Scarlett's under arrest.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

-I wish Scarlett was here.

-How?

She's a pal, doll.

I hate to think of a pal in the clink.

I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure she'll be out by now.

No, I just got a text from Bob asking me to lock up and pay the DJ.

He's at the station waiting for a lawyer.

Shut the front door.

-They're... They're going to charge her?

-Looks like they have already.

Right, here we go.

I can't get hold of Andy at all.

Must've got a better offer.

Better than who?

Oh, her.

I was not, in any way, on offer.

-It was no skin off my nose either way.

-No, and it shouldn't be.

All right, calm down, you two. It's nearly midnight.

-BELLS CHIME

-Your big moment.

I thought he was only on for ten minutes.

The world's been changed in less time.

I wish everybody would stop saying "only".

All right, calm down, I'm sure you'll knock 'em dead.

-Damn right I will.

-Ten, nine, eight...

Folks, can I maybe make a small toast

before Mr Showbiz struts his stuff?

Only if you don't embarrass anybody.

-No, I was just going to say...

-BELL CHIMES

-..here's to the future, to all of us.

-Cheers.

-Cheers

Ten past midnight, you can play all the ironic hipster garbage you like,

but the bells belong to me, right?

Easy, Pete, easy.

This numpty needs telling. I do the bells.

Nobody else.

-You're all right, just go do your stuff.

-Who cares, anyway.

There's no Scarlett. Who am I kidding?

Ten minutes.

Pathetic joke of a man. Who am I trying to kid?

What is this? You'll be brilliant.

Go on, go on.

BELLS CONTINUE TO CHIME

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Come on, Pete. Come on.

Ladies and gents, friends...

Hello.

-Is he all right?

-He just gets like this sometimes.

On yerself, big man!

SCATTERED APPLAUSE

Er...

A lot of you know my work.

And you've seen me pay tribute to the King.

Er... But...

But tonight, it's the end of a long year,

a hard, hard few days,

so I'd like to...

I'm going to turn to the Bard.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

# Should auld acquaintance be forgot

# And never brought to mind?

# Should auld acquaintance be forgot

# For the sake of auld lang syne

# For auld lang syne, my dear

# For auld lang syne

# We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet

# For auld lang syne

# Now here's a hand, my trusty fere!

# And gie's a hand o' thine!

# We'll tak a right gude-willie waught

# For the sake of auld lang syne

# For auld lang syne, my dear

# For auld lang syne

# We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet

# For the sake of auld lang syne. #

MACHINES FLATLINE

It's a fragile thing, life.

Especially for those who make enough enemies along the way.

-Scarlett's been refused bail.

-What?

You sure that's a good idea?

Giving a fake alibi is a serious crime.

Me and Patrick were just talking about Christmas.

Christmas?

I got a message this morning, from Will.

We need to go and get tested.

Party at mine.

You really want a bunch of strangers at your parents' flat?

When did you turn into such a conniving little tart?

Just GET OUT!