Beekeepers v Policy Wonks Only Connect

"People who need people

"are the luckiest people in the world."

Barbra Streisand talking about Hollywood, of course,

where everyone has people, in the sense of,

"My people will get in touch with your people."

Other people, meanwhile, don't need people.

Whole days and weeks go by where they don't even talk to people.

Let's meet the teams.

On my right,

Ian Wallace, retired accountant and bee inspector,

who works to eradicate bee diseases and is trying to restore

the population of the native black bee.

Josh Spero,

a classics graduate, who once hopped up and down on one leg

in front of Bianca Jagger.

And their captain, Mark Wallace,

a political journalist, who beat the band AC/DC at a pub quiz

in Northumberland.

United by their hive minds,

they are the Beekeepers.

Now, Mark, you beat the Scunthorpe Scholars in your first game.

What advice have you given your team-mates tonight?

Always the best advice.

Wine before beer, you'll feel queer.

Beer before wine, you'll feel fine.

Excellent advice.

Let's hope it stands you in good stead.

You are facing, tonight, on my left, Helen Thomas,

a PPE graduate, who has written a French-language poem about

Eric Cantona's famous flying kick.

Robert Colvile,

an author, who was once ejected from a pub

because of his perceived resemblance to Jesus.

And their captain, Robert McIlveen,

a history and politics graduate, who enjoy setting himself

fish-based culinary challenges.

United by a passion for policy,

they are the Policy Wonks.

Now, you won your opening heat against the Maltsters.

How are you feeling about tonight's game?

We've done some stretches in the car park, we're feeling flexible.

-We're ready to quiz.

-Excellent.

There's not many of our quizzers

that actually can do stretches,

so you're miles ahead already.

We're going to start by playing Round One.

What is the connection between four apparently random clues?

Beekeepers, you won the toss,

but you've decided to put your opponents in first.

Nasty work! Policy Wonks, you will

be choosing the first question. Which is it to be?

-Lion, please.

-Lion. OK.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

-OK. Go next.

-Next, please.

Is it noun...? No.

Um, next, please.

Oh, hang on, so that has got no gap and a...lower case is O.

Um...

-Any... Any...?

-A camel has two humps. Um...

-Shall we...? Shall we get the final one?

-Get the final one.

-Go on.

-Next, please.

Oh, it's the characters which are...

Three seconds.

BELL

-Robert?

-No, it's the characters which connect them,

but it's not.

That's not it.

Beekeepers, do you know?

Are these typographic terms?

-No.

-That's not it. Do you know now?

-Is it case?

-They are cases. I'm surprised

with so many professional writers here.

I suppose that's what subs are for!

That's what subs are for!

Yes, case types. So Only Connect

at the beginning there - title case.

You would capitalise

the first letters in title case. In sentence case you wouldn't.

Camel case is when you squidge

the words up with a capital letter.

And "only - underscore - connect".

That is snake cased.

So, no points there, although

well spotted a bit too late.

Beekeepers, what would you like?

The Horned Viper, please.

The Horned Viper. OK.

CHIME Oh, it's the music question.

What do these clues have in common?

Here's the first.

TANGO MUSIC

# At your command

# Before you here I stand... #

Next, please.

-# When I look into your eyes... #

-November Rain.

-# I can see a love... #

-It's Guns N' Roses.

-The first one was the Suicide Tango, wasn't it?

-Masochism Tango.

This is November Rain.

-What's it called?

-November Rain.

# Darling, when I... #

Next, please.

# On a dark desert highway

# Cool wind in my hair... #

Hotel California.

# Warm smell of colitas... #

Do we want to go next?

# Rising up through the air... #

-November Rain...

-Go on.

-Three seconds.

BELL

They are all...

songs that start with a letter in the alphabet.

A for Alpha, B for Bravo.

I'm going to give you the point.

We call it the Nato alphabet.

That's absolutely right. Yes.

Well, we didn't actually hear Bravo.

What did we hear?

So we had The Masochism Tango. T for Tango.

-Yeah.

-November Rain. N for November.

-Hotel California.

-That's right.

And you didn't need to hear...

Papa Don't Preach would have been

the next one.

Yes, T - Tango. N - November. C - California. P - Papa.

-It's the Nato alphabet. Well done.

-Well done.

Policy Wonks, what would you like?

Eye of Horus, please.

The Eye of Horus.

What is the connection between these picture clues?

Here's the first.

Mr T. B A Baracus. But...I think he's...

-So he's one of the two.

-Next, please.

George Orwell.

BBC. BBC... Maybe... Get the next one.

Next, please.

-Oh...

-Romesh Ranganathan.

-Yeah.

-Comedian.

-Comedian.

-Romesh...

Is it a real name...?

B A...

Um... George Orwell...

Did they give their name to something? No.

Next, please.

Sting.

-Who's that?

-Sting.

-Sting.

Three seconds.

BELL

All have the middle name Arthur.

They do not all have

the middle name Arthur.

We'll go over to the Beekeepers

for a possible bonus point.

They are all best known by their pseudonym.

I mean, do you think you would take

Romesh Ranganathan as a pseudonym?

I-I don't know. Maybe he's got another character by night.

It's a beautiful name, but it's really...

That's got to be your birth name.

It's not B A Baracus. It's Mr T, of course,

which I think is his birth name.

I think that is his birth name.

George Orwell. Romesh Ranganathan.

And, of course, every beekeeper's favourite musician, Sting.

All former teachers.

Oh, that was my alternative.

-That's what you said.

-That is...

Mr T was a gym teacher.

You'd do what he told you,

wouldn't you? Wouldn't you do that?

George Orwell taught in a private school -

absolutely hated it.

-Romesh Ranganathan - what did he teach?

-Drama.

He was a maths teacher.

Maths teacher. And Sting was

a primary school teacher

for a couple of years

back in the day.

All former teachers.

So, no bonus point, Beekeepers.

But you may choose a question.

-Water, please.

-Water. OK.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

THEY CONFER QUIETLY

Jeeves. Jeeves. Jeeves.

BELL

-Jeeves.

-Very well done.

After two clues

you get three points. They are Jeeves books.

Didn't need The Inimitable and Right Ho. Tell me about those books.

What's interesting about

Ring For Jeeves?

I've never read any. Is that the one where he's introduced?

Is it the first one?

I'm sorry?

-You've never read any?!

-No.

You've never read a Jeeves book?!

-No.

-Why?!

What have you been doing?!

I'm on Twitter 24/7.

This is disastrous!

I have nothing else to do.

Anyone over there

hasn't read a Jeeves book?

You haven't read a Jeeves book?!

What have you read?!

Lots of other things.

None of... None of anything

is worth anything compared to this.

I'm almost tempted to stop the quiz

right now and you both go away

and read The Inimitable Jeeves and come back. What's interesting

about Ring For Jeeves is that

Bertie Wooster isn't in it.

Jeeves is on loan to a different family.

I won't tell you about the others - I don't want to spoil it.

You've got a massive treat ahead,

let me tell you.

The greatest books ever written

in English, I'm serious.

Very well done, though.

You get the points.

And, Policy Wonks,

-what would you like?

-Twisted Flax, please.

-The Twisted Flax.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

Ship of Theseus? No?

Yeah, I mean, it was the...the Argo.

Next, please.

OK. Interesting.

That it was...

Are these all things that were rebuilt?

-They've had different line-ups?

-Different line-ups.

-Cos they reconstruct...

-THEY CONFER QUIETLY

BELL

Are they all things that have been reconstructed?

You also get three points

for coming in after two clues.

Very well done. They have had their original components replaced.

Didn't even need to see the next two clues.

Talk me through

what we're looking at.

Theseus' ship was the Argo, which I dimly remember was shipwrecked

and then they had to get the timbers together and rebuild it.

And of course the Sugababes have been through about

27 seven different line-ups. Er...

It wasn't the Argo,

but otherwise right.

Recorded by Plutarch.

That's the original one

that they talk about - you know, is it...

Is it still the same ship if all

the original components

have been replaced?

The Sugababes.

Remind me of the original line-up.

-It was...

-Mutya.

-Mutya Buena.

Keisha Buchanan.

Siobhan Donnelly?

I mean, I was joking!

LAUGHTER

-Siobhan Donaghy, apparently.

-Oh!

Now I see why you haven't been

reading any Jeeves books!

My goodness! Replaced, of course, by...?

That's the point at which I...

-Heidi.

-Heidi... Heidi Allen?

-No, she's an MP.

Heidi Range.

LAUGHTER

Heidi, Amelle and Jade replaced them.

And George Washington's axe - that's a sort of apocryphal story

about the axe head and the handle

were changed so many times.

And Trigger

in Only Fools And Horses,

the great Roger Lloyd-Pack. He once said that his broom had had

17 new heads and 14 new handles.

All been reconstructed. Well done.

Beekeepers, you will have the Two Reeds,

it's the only question left.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

THEY DISCUSS IN HUSHED VOICES

Next, please.

The "I" and "L" are taken out of it.

-Springfield.

-And...

Yes, it's probably Springfield. So then "I" and...

Next, please.

Oh, right, so...

-Letters of the state.

-Yes.

These are state capitals

for which the letters of the state abbreviation

have been removed from the name.

Very well quizzed. I like this question.

Tell me in a little more detail about each clue.

-Albany.

-So... Yes, we have Albany, New York,

-Springfield...

-Illinois.

-Yeah.

Sacramento, California,

and Indianapolis, Indiana.

That's right. So Albany is the capital of New York,

its abbreviation is NY.

We've taken NY out of it

to get Alba and so on for all the clues.

Very well spotted.

That means, at the end of Round One,

the Policy Wonks have three points,

the Beekeepers have seven.

Time for Round Two now, the sequences round,

and Policy Wonks, you'll be going first again.

Which question would you like?

Horned Viper, please.

The Horned Viper. BELL RINGS

OOh, it's a music sequence.

You're going to be hearing the clues, and I want to know

what kind of thing you'd expect to hear in fourth place.

Your first musical clue is coming in now.

# You're my baby

# You're my pet

# We fell in love on the night we met

# You touched my hand, my heart went pop... #

Next, please.

-# A brown-eyed girl in hand-me-downs

-Great Balls Of Fire? No.

-# Whose name I never could pronounce

-I don't know who this is.

-# Said pretty please... #

-Next, please.

# ..finger on the trigger

-# I'm gonna pull it

-I have no idea about the second.

The first one was someone like Bobby Lee...

# I'm picked to click now

-Or could've been Jerry Lewis.

-# I'm a son of a gun

-Could it be the titles?

-# So hold it right there

# Little girl, little girl We're gonna have big fun. #

Three seconds.

-They're all songs about weapons.

-The fourth one in the sequence...

Unfortunately, I want to know what comes forth in a sequence,

so Beekeepers, there's a chance for a possible bonus point.

Uh...Annie Get Your Gun.

No. You did hear Pete Wingfield, 18 With A Bullet.

Otherwise, they're not about weapons.

-You heard Johnny Burnette, You're Sixteen.

-Oh.

Janis Ian, At Seventeen.

Eighteen With A Bullet,

and we wanted to hear something with 19 in it.

-For example...

-Paul Hardcastle.

-Paul Hardcastle, 19.

The only good news I have for you is that's not really a singable tune,

so I can't really make you do it.

Although you could complete the chorus for me.

"In World War II, the average age of the combat soldier was 26.

-"In Vietnam it was..."

-"N-n-n-n-nineteen."

Lovely. Lovely.

I feel like I really made that moving, didn't I? That description.

I really did that.

Beekeepers, what would you like next?

-Twisted Flax, please.

-Twisted Flax.

What would come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

DC, DS...

-Nintendo DS...

-Nintendo DS...

The 360...

THEY DISCUSS IN HUSHED VOICES

Next, please.

These are police inspectors.

-Detective Inspector.

-Chief Inspector?

-DCI.

-DCI.

DCI.

Is the right answer. And why is that?

Because these are detective police ranks

in rising seniority.

That's right, ascending ranks in the CID.

Detective Constable, Detective Sergeant, Detective Inspector,

and I wanted to hear Detective Chief Inspector, DCI.

Well done.

Policy Wonks, what would you like next?

-Eye of Horus, please.

-The Eye of Horus.

What would come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

THEY DISCUSS IN HUSHED VOICES

-Oh, OK, fine.

-Next, please.

So... OK, so these are the 29th of Februarys that don't...

Because 1900 didn't happen, but 2000 did, so it would be...

2100.

29th of February 2100.

Correct. Very well done.

And what's the reason?

They are years divisible by four

in which there is not a leap day.

-Or shouldn't be a leap day.

-That's right.

Every so often they have to drop a leap year in order to catch up,

and they did that in 1700, 1800, 1900,

but the 29th of February 2,000 did happen,

so the next one will be 29th of February 2100.

Well done. You get the points there.

Beekeepers, what would you like?

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

These will be picture clues.

What kind of thing would you expect to see in the fourth picture?

Here's the first.

Is that a sea anemone?

Next, please.

Australia. Is that John...?

John Key's New Zealand, isn't it?

Next, please.

-Tiananmen Square.

-No, that's the Forbidden City.

THEY DISCUSS IN HUSHED VOICES

Three seconds.

-The flag of New South Wales.

-That's not it.

So, Policy Wonks, would you like to have a go for a bonus point?

A random guess - the map of North Korea.

Who do you think that is a clue to?

We don't know.

It's the former Australian Prime Minister Bob Hawke.

-We're looking at sponge, Bob, square...

-Pants!

And I would hear a pair of pants.

Unfortunately for you,

a pair of pants not currently the flag of New Zealand,

so I could not give you the points.

-Policy Wonks, what would you like?

-Lion, please.

-Lion. OK.

What will come fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

-Prime Minister.

-Yeah, Liberal Prime Minister.

-We don't know what the sequence is, though.

-Next, please.

Prime Ministers without a majority? No...

Coalition Prime Ministers?

-So, Chamberlain and Churchill...

-Was Chamberlain?

-Yeah.

Oh, no, because Ramsay MacDonald was the coalition Prime Minister.

And they re-elected...

-Shall we say next just to make sure?

-Next, please.

-Oh.

-Oh, God. Oh, coronations!

So Churchill in...

-No, it's...

-1953?

-Yeah.

1953, Churchill.

Not the answer, I'm afraid, so, Beekeepers,

you've got the chance of a bonus point.

1952, Winston Churchill.

That, I'm afraid, is the answer. And why?

These are Prime Ministers at the time of a coronation.

At the time of the accession.

Yes, of Royal ascension.

So this is why you get Stanley Baldwin twice -

cos in 1936, there were two Royal ascensions

cos Edward VIII was never crowned, and then George VI,

so I wanted to know the next Royal ascension,

that of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth.

1952, Winston Churchill was Prime Minister.

So, well done, you get the bonus point

and you get the final question of the round - Water.

What will come fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Coleridge Close...

THEY DISCUSS IN HUSHED VOICES

Next, please.

These are all...poetic streets.

But they must appear somewhere in a sequence.

THEY DISCUSS IN HUSHED VOICES

Next, please.

Wordsworth Drive.

These are all...

-So, it's going to be Byron...

-No...

Three seconds.

Byron Place.

You see, that's just not a sequence, really, is it?

You can't quite make that tight enough, I'm afraid.

So there's a bonus chance for the Policy Wonks.

-Shelley Street?

-Sadly, no.

Now, if you're going to tell me that

as well as not having read PG Wodehouse,

you have never seen Reginald Perrin on the television,

I'm going to be horrified.

This is Reginald Perrin's walk to work.

He walks along Coleridge Close, Tennyson Avenue, Wordsworth Drive

to Station Drive.

That means, at the end of Round Two,

the Policy Wonks have six points,

the Beekeepers have ten.

Time now for the Connecting Wall,

and it'll be the Beekeepers who are going first this time.

Would you like Lion or Water?

-Lion wall, please.

-OK.

Two and a half minutes to solve the Lion wall, starting now.

We've got tyres or motorbikes.

THEY DISCUSS IN HUSHED VOICES

Ports...

-Port Stanley, Port Harcourt...

-Port Talbot.

And Port... Yeah, Port Elizabeth.

-BUZZ

-Try Moresby.

-Port Moresby?

-Yeah.

You've also got the Calcutta Cup...

-BUZZ

-..the Ryder Cup...

Port Harcourt.

The motorbikes, as well.

BUZZ

OK. So, what else have we got? Let's give it another...

BUZZ

OK, so we've got the Calcutta Cup, the Ryder Cup...

-Stanley Cup...and Elizabeth Cup.

-Is Elizabeth Cup a thing?

-Any other cups you can see there?

-BUZZ

And Melbourne Cup!

BUZZ

We've also got motorbikes, as well.

Let's have a quick look. Wait a second.

So, we've got Ducati, we've got Triumph, we've got Suzuki...

Stanley?

THEY SPEAK OVER EACH OTHER

-Indian's a motorbike.

-Yeah.

-BUZZ

-No. OK...

Galore - is this from...?

Oh, these are Bond girls, aren't they?

-Pussy Galore, Mary Goodnight, Honey Ryder...

-And...

Go for... OK, great. That's a great start. OK.

HE SPEAKS IN HUSHED VOICE

-OK. There must be another one in here somewhere.

-Yes, OK...

Three strikes now, and 30 seconds.

So, we've got...

Melbourne Cup... Stanley Cup, Calcutta Cup.

-The Fed Cup, maybe?

-No, we tried that.

-Triumph Cup?

-Is the Aprilia...?

No, Triumph...

THEY SPEAK OVER EACH OTHER

-Ducati Cup?

-Go for it.

No... Let's try the motorbikes.

OK, so if we go Triumph...

-No. I'm afraid the time is up, and the Wall has frozen.

-Curses.

But you've found two groups, and what about the connections?

Suzuki, Ryder, Galore, Goodnight.

-It's surnames of Bond girls.

-That's right.

Kissy Suzuki, of course,

the magnificently politically incorrect name

of the lady in You Only Live Twice.

And what about this green group starting Moresby?

Places with Port.

Port Moresby, Port Harcourt, Port Elizabeth, Port Talbot.

They are places that you can put Port in front of. Well done.

And you can still get connection points

for the groups you didn't find.

So, let's resolve the Wall. Here we go.

Indian, Triumph, Ducati, Aprilia.

These are makes of motorcycle.

Those are the motorbike brands.

And the turquoise group - Melbourne, Fed, Stanley, Calcutta.

They precede the word "cup".

They precede cup in sports matches, yes.

It was the Federation Cup, women's tennis.

It's now the Fed Cup.

So you found two groups and you gave me four connections -

that is a total of six.

Let's bring in their opponents now, give them a new Connecting Wall,

and see what they can do about solving it.

Policy Wonks, you'll be getting the Water wall - the Lion's been taken.

Two and a half minutes to solve it, starting now.

THEY DISCUSS IN HUSHED VOICES

Well, Corleone's in Godfather.

He's killed in a particular way, Prince Albert is...

Romulus, then, is also... And Cain.

-Romulus and Cain, killed by their brother.

-No, um...

Or betrayed by their brother.

Who else...?

-I mean...

-BUZZ

Some need to be words followed by something else, I feel.

Scar...and...

Raise the roof, raise hell, raise Cain, raise eyebrow.

-BUZZ

-Raise a siege...

-BUZZ

-That's without roof.

-BUZZ

-That's without...eyebrow.

So...

-Dance? The robot is a dance?

-Madonna...

-Alan Partridge...

-I was thinking Alan Partridge, famous Alans.

-I, Claudius, I, Partridge...

-Oh, yes.

-I, Robot.

-I, Robot, and...

-I, Cain? I mean, can we just...?

-BUZZ

I, Madonna.

Madonna's probably written a book

called I, Madonna.

I don't think so...

BUZZ

I, Scar? I, Prince Albert?

-BUZZ

-OK, Corleone...

Go back to where you think...

Corleone, Romulus, Cain and Claudius was...

-BUZZ

-No.

-OK, what...

-BUZZ

..are the things here?

-What's snake bites?

-BUZZ

Snake bites and scar...

-Snake bite is a drink.

-BUZZ

Oh, Scar, of course, from The Lion King.

Three strikes now.

OK... So we still have I, Robot, I, Partridge, I, Claudius,

so let's look at the other five.

Prince Albert, which is...

-BUZZ

-Remember it's three strikes.

-Sorry, sorry.

-Confident about those three.

I don't think there'd be "I" in front of any.

We're stuck on "I" now.

Let's think about something completely different.

We're running out of time.

Shall we just take a couple of...? We've still got Partridge.

-And...and...

-BUZZ

We've tried everything, haven't we?

And Tragus and Madonna.

It can't be snake bites, can it?

Snake bites could be...

That's it. You've had your third go,

and the Wall has frozen.

But you found two groups, and I'll give you points

if you can tell me the connections.

Siege, eyebrow, hell, roof.

-Things you can raise.

-Things you can raise.

And the green group, starting Michael Corleone.

These are all people who betrayed their own brother.

Well, that's right, but not just that. I mean, what else?

Father. Family member.

No, but they killed their brothers!

Michael Corleone in The Godfather films,

Romulus and Remus, Cain and Abel,

and Scar, the Jeremy Irons character in The Lion King,

kills his brother, Mufasa.

But I reckon murder's a form of betrayal, so I'll give you that.

And you can still get points for the connections

in the groups you didn't find.

So let's resolve the wall. There you go.

Madonna, Prince Albert, tragus, snake bites.

-Piercings.

-They are all piercings - that's it.

And the turquoise group? Libertine, Robot, Claudius, Partridge.

-Can all be preceded by "I".

-They can.

I, Libertine, you didn't actually try.

A sort of literary hoax, a pretend 18th-century...

We thought it was the obvious one, we thought we'd tried it...

You never tried it.

But you found two groups, gave you four connections.

That is a total of six.

Let's have a look at the scores.

And if you like the idea of sorting

your Honey Ryders from your Kissy Suzukis,

then why not go to the website...

..to find out how to be a contestant on our next series?

We are going to play the missing-vowels round.

You'll remember this horror from your opening heats.

Fingers on buzzers, teams.

I can tell you that the first group are all...

Correct.

Correct.

Yes, it is.

Correct.

Next category...

Well done.

Lovely.

Yes, it is.

Correct.

Next category...

Yes, it is.

Yep.

Correct.

Correct.

Correct.

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

The rousing chorus of Top Hat followed by the bell

spells the end of the quiz.

And looking at the final scores, I can tell you that the winners,

and through to the next round with 24 points are...

the Beekeepers.

Very well done.

In second place, with an impressive 17 points,

but not quite enough tonight,

it's the Policy Wonks.

Thank you very much for playing.

I'm afraid we must say goodbye.

And that is the end of the show.

It's been a brilliant one, and I'd like to extend it,

but unfortunately, I'm late for the annual Cryptographers' Ball.

It's not actually for a few months,

but I need a good long stare at the invitation

to figure out where I'm going.

Goodbye.