Genealogists v Oscar Men Only Connect

The other day I attended a memorial service

for the late, great Quizzy Gillespie,

one of the great jazz quizzers of the post-war age.

He didn't so much answer questions as riff wittily on

a question's theme.

He was revolutionary,

he was brilliant,

he was terrible at Trivial Pursuit.

Likely to score higher than he would have done tonight are

on my right, Derek Caudwell,

a freelance indexer who, on arrival

in Cardiff, narrowly avoided being

hit on the head with a live fish

which fell from the beak of a passing herring gull.

Andy Crane, a sports fan and

museum aficionado who's visited

52 countries and suffered from food poisoning on three continents.

And their captain, Traci Whitehead,

a PPH student who has played

trilingual Battleships on a 24-hour train journey through Yugoslavia.

United by a fascination with their family trees,

they are the Genealogists.

Now, you lost your opening heat against the Surrealists,

but you beat the Wrestlers to make it through to Round 2.

How's the team bonding been between games?

We've been doing quite a lot of exploring of steak restaurants

in Cardiff and bonding over steak and red wine

-which seems to have gone quite well.

-Excellent.

Tonight, you'll be bonding with - or snarling at - on my left,

Howard Freedman, a taxi driver who failed his driving test twice.

Once for driving the wrong way down a one-way street.

Adrian Knott, a civil servant

with a degree in English literature,

who often dreams that everyone he's ever met

is having a meal without him.

And their captain, Michael Slowey,

a data analyst,

who burnt off all his fingertips when redoing his bathroom.

United by a soft spot for statues,

they are the Oscar Men.

Now, you lost your opening heat against the Part-Time Poets, but

you made it through with a win against the Monsters.

Has your Only Connect experience been broadly good so far?

It's been equal parts excitement and terror.

Speaking of excitement and terror, let's play the quiz.

Now, you won the toss, Oscar Men,

but you've decided to put the Genealogists in first,

so please choose an Egyptian hieroglyphic.

Eye of Horus, please.

Well, it's the music question.

Getting that out of the way nice an early in the show.

Your first clue is coming in now.

# I want to thank you for letting me be myself. #

-It's deliberately misspelt.

-Right.

-Next, please.

-# Pop, pop music, pop, pop music

# Shoo-bee-doo-bee-do-wap

# I want to dedicate it Bop-bop shoo-bop

# Everybody made it Shoo-bee-doo-bee-do-wap

-# Infiltrate it. #

-Next, please.

# I think my butt getting big

# It's getting hot in here, so hot, so take off all your clothes

# I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off. #

Next.

# I said, Mama, we're all crazy now. #

Is it just misspelling?

BUZZ

The titles are all misspelt.

The titles are all misspelt.

What did we hear?

Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin) by Sly & The Family Stone.

During which I heard you muttering, "That's misspelt."

I didn't know the second one was misspelt, which was Pop Muzik by M.

-Yes, spelled M-U-Z-I-K.

-Didn't know that.

The last one was Slade, Mama Weer All Crazee Now

and I don't know what the third one was.

Yes, well, I'm looking at the title Hot In Herre

which I think might have been "hot in here" but spelt with two Rs.

Or it's set in somewhere called Herre in Luxembourg.

It could have been anything at that point.

All those titles are misspelt, presumably deliberately,

so well done for one point.

Oscar Men, what would you like?

Can we go for Horned Viper, please?

Yes, you can.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

OK, a wheel within a wheel, that's from Windmills Of Your Mind.

Who was it, do you know?

OK, can we get the next one, please?

Methylhexanamine, OK.

That's got to be the way the...

Structure, yeah.

So can we go for next one, please?

Nineteen fifty-five.

OK, this could be a word thing now.

-Windmill.

-Three seconds.

-Next one, please.

I'm afraid the clock's run down and it's frozen,

so, Genealogists, you have the chance of a bonus point.

-No.

-Got nothing.

It is a word one.

These are all constructed using only straight lines.

There are no curves. No Os, Rs, Qs, anything like that.

It is just straight-line letters. That is what connects them.

So no bonus for you, Genealogists, but you may choose a question.

-Which is it to be?

-Two Reeds, please.

-Two Reeds.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

Next, please.

It's a symbol of some sort. A sign?

Next, please.

-It's a bank, isn't it?

-Yes.

-Yes, they are.

-Bank logos, yes.

-Yeah, go for it.

BUZZ

We think they're all bank logos.

They are the logos of high street banks. Very well done.

Didn't need to see the last one, Black Horse. That's Lloyds Bank.

-What are we looking at?

-Barclays is blue spread eagle, isn't it?

-That's Barclays.

-Two is HSBC.

-Not sure what the three arrowheads is.

You've got to think quite laterally to picture it. It's NatWest.

-Of course, yes.

-That's it.

-Yes.

They're all the logos for high street banks.

Coming in after three clues, you get two points. Well done.

-Oscar Men, what would you like?

-Can we go for Twisted Flax, please?

You certainly could. What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

That's Laurence Olivier possibly doing Hamlet, yeah?

OK, can we have the next one, please?

Richardson. Sir Ralph Richardson.

Can we go for the next one, please?

Banderas, The Merchant of Venice.

-Go on, go on.

-No.

-You sure?

-Yeah.

-Howard?

-Banderas played Puss In Boots as well.

-Has he played The Merchant of Venice, Banderas?

-Wait a second.

-Can we have the next one, please?

-Three seconds.

-Characters...

-OK.

-The first name of characters that are in the plays below them.

Kate in Taming of the Shrew.

-Antonio in The Merchant of Venice, etc, etc.

-That's exactly right.

It's actors that share their first names with Shakespearean characters.

You were thinking of men in those first two clues. It's not.

-It's Gertrude Lawrence...

-Right.

-..and Miranda Richardson.

Gertrude from Hamlet, Miranda in The Tempest.

Antonio Banderas, The Merchant of Venice and Kate Winslet.

Kate is the name of a character in The Taming of the Shrew.

Well spotted.

What would you like now, Genealogists?

-Lion, please.

-Lion, OK.

What is the connection between these clues? Here's the first.

Next, please.

Next, please.

And next, please.

Three seconds.

-They've won it a record number of times.

-They have not.

-OK.

-Oscar Men, would you like to have a go?

-The oldest winners.

They are the oldest winners.

William Golding, how old was he when won the Booker Prize?

-In his 70s, 80s?

-He was 69.

He won it for Rites Of Passage.

Not the one you might necessarily have thought of.

Ken Rosewall won the Australian Open in 1972 at what age?

-40-ish?

-He was 37. You couldn't do that now, though, could you?

-Jack Nicklaus won the US Masters at what age?

-Late 40s.

He was 46. And Jorgen Olsen, he was 50.

He was in a group with his younger brother.

The group was called the Olsen Brothers and they sang for Denmark

with Fly On The Wings Of Love.

Well done for the bonus point

and you will get the last question of the round. Water.

I expect these are going to be picture clues.

What connects them? Here's the first.

I think that's a Roman.

Gladiators. Centurions.

OK, let's go for the next one, please.

Frank Thornton.

-What's he playing?

-Are You Being Served?

He's not in character. Frank Thornton.

Centurion.

Next one, please.

Lady Godiva.

Is it chocolate? Thorntons, Godiva?

Can we have the next one, please?

That's Elizabeth...

BUZZ

It is chocolate, yeah.

We believe they're chocolate brands.

You spotted that one early again, Howard, I think.

Chocolates, yes. Thornton, Frank Thornton, Lady Godiva and Fry,

as in Fry's Chocolate Cream, that sort of thing.

-And who do you think that is in clue one?

-I don't know.

He was known as Terry as in Terry's All Gold.

He wasn't known as Terry, of course he wasn't(!)

It's Leonidas. Leonidas is that character in the first clue.

All chocolate brands. Well done.

That means at the end of Round 1,

the Genealogists have three points.

The Oscar Men have three points.

Round 2, the Sequences round,

and you'll be going first again, Genealogists.

I want to know what comes fourth on a sequence.

-But which sequence? The choice is yours.

-Two Reeds, please.

Two Reeds. What would you expect to come fourth? Here's the first clue.

Next, please.

-That's not a sequence, is it?

-No, it's not.

Next, please.

I've got nothing at all.

Three seconds.

-Lower case Q.

-Well, I admire you for guessing, but that is not it,

I'm afraid, so there's a bonus chance for you, Oscar Men.

OK, we're going to go with the fact that it's going to be T-O-N.

What do you think the first clue is?

Er...

It's T, the symbol for the imperial ton.

You're unlucky because you spotted the sequence

but were going in the wrong direction.

T is the symbol for ton.

Sn, the chemical symbol for tin.

X is ten, so we're going backwards through the alphabet

and it's "tan" we want to hear.

So either a lovely bronze sun-effect or an equation for tangent.

Unlucky. No bonus point, but what would you like as a question?

-Could we go for Eye of Horus, please?

-The Eye of Horus.

What would you expect to come fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

OK, can we go for the next, please?

Towers?

Can we go for the next, please?

-Tallest tower in Europe?

-Could be.

Do you know that one?

Three seconds.

We're going to go with the stock answer of the 1: Eiffel Tower?

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

Genealogists, do you want to have a go for a bonus?

1: The Shard, London?

Is the right answer. What is the sequence?

Tallest towers in Europe going up.

It's the tallest buildings in the EU going up to the biggest, The Shard.

Habitable buildings.

This is not counting chimneys and radio masts and things.

So you get the bonus that time and you get a question choice.

-Lion, please.

-Lion.

What would come fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Next, please.

Isn't it a Li? L-I?

Next, please.

Three seconds.

Um...

Anybody got anything?

You're not seeing the answer.

Oscar Men, another bonus chance.

-Um, can.

-And why would that be?

Well, the only thing we could think of there was a nasty trick is a con

and we were probably going to go backwards.

So the same thing again?

So you know that the unit of Chinese length is the "Li"

and you know that a nasty trick is a "con".

Possess - "own" would be another way of putting it.

Own-Li-Con-Necked!

We've given the example, "kissed amorously"

or drained a bottle of wine.

For me, synonymous.

Something that stands for "necked".

What would you like, Oscar Men, as your question?

-Can we go for Water, please?

-Yes, you can.

What comes fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

Emmanuel Adebayor. Footballer. He's on the right.

Could this be positions?

-Yeah, get the next one.

-Next one, please.

Michael Essien plays... Midfielder?

Get the next one up.

Um, next... Well, so...

It could be something, yeah.

Next, please.

Goes on the left, does it?

So we are looking for somebody, possibly...

Yeah, on the other side. On the left.

Is it a particular team as well?

We don't have a particular team.

Three seconds.

OK, hand over to Howard for that one.

Lionel Messi on the left.

Not the right answer, I'm afraid.

Genealogists.

-Another bonus chance.

-No.

-No?

Don't know.

Well, an answer I would have taken

would be George Weah.

There are other answers, but that

would be the most well known.

You see the clues are placed

in a strange way.

We're going east to west.

So their countries of origin

are Togo,

Ghana, Cote d'Ivoire.

I needed to hear a footballer

from Liberia.

And it's the sequence.

It's a geographical one.

And the best-known

Liberian footballer, George Weah.

So no points there,

but another chance for you,

Genealogists.

Twisted Flax, please.

The Twisted Flax. OK.

These are going to be picture clues.

What sort of thing might you expect

to see in the fourth picture?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

Any ideas?

It's a poet, isn't it?

Is it a poet laureate?

-Is that...

-I don't know.

-Shall we go next?

-Yes, I think next.

Next, please.

It's poets laureate.

So is it backwards?

Before Betjeman.

-Was it before Betjeman?

-Was it, um...

Ted Hughes?

Three seconds.

Picture of Ted Hughes.

Not the answer, I'm afraid.

So, Oscar Men, do you want to

have a go for a bonus?

It's Cecil Day-Lewis.

Cecil Day-Lewis. That's Ted Hughes

in the second picture, there.

And you didn't recognise

the first picture!

I knew I should know him

but I couldn't get a name.

It's Andrew Motion.

There should have been a

five-pointer for Only Connect fans.

These are poets laureate.

Andrew Motion seen there,

from his appearance on Only Connect.

We're going backwards.

So, before him, Ted Hughes,

John Betjeman and Cecil Day-Lewis

would have been the next one.

So you get that bonus, well done.

And you get the last question.

The Horned Viper. What would come

fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Assemble.

Next, please.

OK, this is, these are,

these are Age Of Ultron,

Avengers Assemble, Age Of Ultron.

Then there was...

Marvel films in order?

Yes, well, Age Of Ultron

was one of the last ones.

The last one was Captain America,

-wasn't it?

-Civil War.

-Civil War.

So Assemble was before that.

Then The Age Of Ultron.

Then there was something else.

So what was the one with...?

We are going to go with Civil.

That's not it, I'm afraid,

so I am going to show the third

in the sequence to the Genealogists,

for a possible bonus point.

I was going to say what they said.

Civil War.

I mean, if it had been Civil War,

I might have given them another go,

for Civil, no.

It's Infinity Again.

Oscar Men, you're the film buffs.

What is going on here?

They seem to be part of

-the Marvel Universe films.

-Uh-huh.

Avengers Assemble,

Age Of Ultron...

Well, it's Avengers Assemble,

Avengers: Age Of Ultron,

they're all Avengers films.

Here's the nasty

twist in the question.

The next two haven't been

-released yet.

-Right.

Avengers: Infinity War Part I

has been announced for 2018.

Avengers: Infinity War Part II

will follow in 2019.

I should mention these are just

working titles.

By the time we are on air,

they might be called

Avengers: A Nice Cup Of Tea.

That would be good, wouldn't it?

That means at the end of Round Two,

the Genealogists have four points,

the Oscar Men have four points.

Now for the horrors of the Connecting Wall,

and it will be the Oscar Men to go first this time.

Would you like Lion or Water?

-We'll go for water this time, please.

-OK.

Two and a half minutes to solve the Water Wall. Starting now.

OK, gimme, gimme, gimme three times,

so things that can be done three times, yeah?

I can't see any others.

Scratch, Beelzebub, there's too many of them.

Yes, there is Fiend, Dickens.

Monica.

Shall we try to delete?

Yes, Scratch and Azed.

BUZZ

Monica Lewinsky, Monica Dickens, Monica Seles, Monica Ali.

BUZZ

-Another Ali.

-Another Monica?

-Monica Galetti, maybe?

-Yeah.

BUZZ

BUZZ

-You've done that.

-I've done that. And that.

-No, let's go for...

-No! Miss Dickens out and miss Lewinsky out.

-OK, yes.

Lewinsky, Galetti, Seles, Ali, there you go, perfect.

OK, Mephisto definitely is the devil.

Scratch is devil. Imp? Mephisto.

Beelzebub. Azed.

BUZZ

-Aren't Mephisto and Azed crossword compilers?

-They could be.

Is there anyone else who might fit that? EV? EV? No. Fore.

-That means expected value.

-Rough.

-Gimme.

-Oh, things with golf. Fore. You get a fore. You're in the rough.

And you're a scratch golfer. So what other ones are in there?

There's a fiend one, I think.

BUZZ

-Couldn't EV be a golfing term, possibly?

-Let's try that one.

Or Azed? I don't know.

BUZZ

Have we missed out Gimme?

BUZZ

No, forget the Fiend.

BUZZ

-Have we missed out...? Have we missed out Fore?

-No.

Gimme, Scratch, Rough.

BUZZ

You've got 30 seconds.

-Miss out Rough.

-OK, Rough. I put EV before. Gimme, Scratch.

-No.

BUZZ

No, it's not working.

Right, let's go from Imp, Beelzebub, Fiend and Azed.

Did we do that one?

No, Scratch. We haven't on that one. Let's do that.

Ten seconds.

BUZZ

Dickens could be, as in, "What the Dickens?" What the devil?

What the devil?

No, that's it. The time has run out. The wall has frozen.

But you found a group,

and what connects Lewinsky, Galetti, Ali and Seles?

Monica.

They are Monicas, yes. Monica Galetti is a chef,

-a judge on MasterChef.

-Yeah, that's right.

And you can still get points for the connections

in the groups you didn't find.

So let's resolve the wall.

There you go. Beelzebub, Mephisto, Azed or Az-ed or Ae-zed, EV.

We believe they may be crossword compilers.

They are crossword compilers.

Yes, EV sets the crossword in the Sunday Telegraph.

Azed, the brilliant Observer crossword.

Mephisto is the Sunday Times and the other one

is the Independent On Sunday.

What about the next group? Fiend, Dickens, Scratch, Imp?

-We think they might be nicknames for the devil.

-They are.

All synonyms for the devil.

And what about this last turquoise group, starting Gimme?

Golf terms.

They are golf terms. You never tried Nassau. It's a sort of bet.

It's a kind of three-part golf bet.

But you did find a group and all four of the connections,

so that's a total of five.

Let's bring in the Genealogists now

and give them a new Connecting Wall

to see what they can do with it.

Grrr.

That's my way of saying you are getting the Lion Wall.

The Water's been taken. You have two and a half minutes to solve it.

Starting now.

Right.

-So we've got authors.

-Yeah. We've got underwear.

Farthingale, Basque, Chemise.

Slip.

BUZZ

There must be something else. A Teddy.

BUZZ

-So we've got six.

-Right, so let's ignore...

So shall we try Grisham, Cornwell, Rendell...?

Slaughter.

BUZZ

It could be a name. I don't know.

BUZZ

-Yeah, OK.

-We've got too many here, haven't we?

-OK.

Keep is part of a castle. So is Bailey.

-Have we got any more, though? I can't see any more.

-I don't know.

Unfortunately.

-It could be a slip, I suppose.

-Slip.

-Grisham might be.

-I think slip might be. Let's try Grisham.

BUZZ

Keep and Bailey.

Um, right, OK.

Demon.

I need word ones. Glacis?

-Is that how you spell glace cherry?

-No.

No, I know it's not now, sorry.

This is...

So we've got CornWELL.

Why ever Cornwell?

Slip?

BUZZ

We've done this before.

Try and fit the authors again.

-We've got Grisham, Cornwell, Rendell...

-Child?

BUZZ

You've got 30 seconds.

BUZZ

-BUZZ

-I've done that already.

BUZZ

BUZZ

Is it worth trying the underwear again?

Ten seconds.

BUZZ

-Is Farthingale some sort of...?

-Yeah, it's a skirt.

BUZZ

No, that's it, the time's run out and the misery is over.

But you can still get points for the connections in the groups

you didn't find, so let's resolve the wall.

That's what we wanted you to do.

Tell me about the first group, Grisham, Slaughter, Rendell, Child.

Authors. Crime authors.

They are, they're thriller writers.

Never got them all in the group at once.

John Grisham, Karin Slaughter, Lee Child, Ruth Rendell.

And what about the next group, starting Kept?

No. You're not seeing it. They're counties with the letter changed.

Kent, Devon, Cornwall, with an A instead of an E, and Dorset.

Yes, counties with the letter changed.

And the next group, Farthingale, Teddy, Basque, Slip.

-They're the underwear.

-That's the underwear.

And the last turquoise group starting Keep?

-Pieces of a castle. Areas of a castle.

-Parts of a castle.

So you didn't find any groups, but that is three connecting points.

Let's have a look at the scores going into the Final Round.

The Genealogists have seven points.

The Oscar Men have nine points.

Still very close scores at this point in the game.

Round Four will determine who goes home,

and who goes to the next round.

It's the Missing Vowels Round, fingers on buzzers, teams.

I will tell you that the first group are all wealthy individuals.

Genealogists.

Tycoon.

Correct.

Oscar Men?

Jay Gatsby.

Correct.

-Oscar Men.

-Croesus.

Correct.

-Genealogists.

-Multimillionaire.

Correct.

Next category, they are all from Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

Oscar Men.

Alan Shearer.

Correct.

-Oscar Men.

-Stephenson's Rocket.

Correct.

-Genealogists.

-Ant and Dec.

Correct.

-Oscar Men.

-Viz.

That's right.

Next category, UNESCO World Heritage Sites.

Oscar Men.

Yellowstone National Park.

Correct.

-Genealogists?

-Rainbow Bridge.

I'm afraid you're missing

all sorts of letters there.

Oscar Men, do you know?

Yeah, it's Ironbridge Gorge.

Ironbridge Gorge. Next clue.

-Genealogists?

-Persepolis.

Correct.

-Oscar Men.

-Kathmandu Valley.

Correct. Next category, Assistants.

-Genealogists.

-Teaching Assistant.

Teaching assistant is correct,

but there will be no more assistants

because the bell has gone for the end of the quiz.

And looking at the final scores, the winners with 17 points

and through to the next round are the Oscar Men.

Very well done to you.

And in second place with 11 points,

it's the Genealogists.

I'm afraid that is the end of your run this time.

But thank you very much for playing.

We've seen some excellent quizzing from you,

and you've been a delight to have around.

Thanks for watching.

Please join me next time when, to create some internet buzz,

I'll be deliberately favouring one team over the other.

Will it be the mighty Philatelists or the other wazzocks? Goodbye.