Food and Drink Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and a warm welcome to this special food and drink edition

of Pointless Celebrities,

the game where you're always striving to find the lowest score.

Let's meet today's Pointless Celebrities.

Couple number one.

Hello, I'm Fay Maschler. I'm the restaurant critic

-for the London Evening Standard.

-And I'm Brian Turner, chef, cook,

restaurateur, and president of the Royal Academy of Culinary Arts.

APPLAUSE

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Tony Singh. I'm a chef-restaurateur from Edinburgh.

I'm Cyrus Todiwala, chef-restaurateur from London.

APPLAUSE

Couple number three.

Hi, I'm Jilly Goolden. Wine runs in my veins, and I'm currently

letting it pour out at Jilly Goolden's Wine Room.

I'm Olly Smith, best known from BBC's Saturday Kitchen, and

I've been described as the lovechild of Boris Johnson and Matt Lucas.

APPLAUSE

And, finally, couple number four.

Hi, I'm Michael Caines,

two Michelin starred chef-restaurateur from Devon.

And I'm Sophie Grigson. I'm a food writer and a cook.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you. A very warm welcome to Pointless.

It's lovely to have you here. We'll get to chat to each of you

throughout the show as it goes along.

So, that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Putting the sage into sagacious,

the egg into egghead, and the cress into LUDI-CRESS-LY well read,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. Hi, everybody.

Good evening.

-Good evening to you.

-And to you.

-How are you?

-I'm very well.

-It's quite a classy line-up here, isn't it?

I know. Delicious.

We've got some newcomers on podium one and podium four,

so welcome to them, Sophie and Michael, Brian and Fay.

A real grudge match on podiums two and three, we've got Olly and Jilly.

They've been on before, and got all the way through to the head-to-head.

And on podium two, Cyrus and Tony,

also got through to the head-to-head.

-Oh!

-It's very interesting to see which of those two pairs

-might get through to the final this time.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

As usual, all of today's questions have been asked to 100 people before

the show. All our contestants here are looking for those all-important

pointless answers. These are answers that none of our 100 people gave.

Each time you find a pointless answer,

we will add £250 to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a special celebrity edition,

each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

We're going to start off with a jackpot of £2,500.

There we are. APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

APPLAUSE

So, remember this at all times -

the pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be

eliminated. Therefore, always strive to find a low-scoring answer.

No conferring for the first two rounds.

Best of luck to all four pairs.

Our first category this evening is...

TV Comedy. Can you decide in your pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

And the question concerns...

Sitcom family surnames. Richard.

On each board, we're going to show you some forenames, or first names,

of some famous sitcom families from the UK and the US.

You just need to give us the surnames of these people, please.

So we have two boards, there is going to be seven on each,

so 14 in all to have a go at at home. Best of luck.

OK, so what are the surnames of these sitcom families?

Here is our first board of seven.

I shall read all of those again.

Brian, welcome to our special food and drink Pointless edition.

Now, you held a Michelin star in the early '70s.

Back when these things were kind of hens teeth, weren't they?

Very few people, certainly in the United Kingdom, had Michelin stars.

We were the first English people to be awarded a Michelin star

in this country. The French had Michelin stars,

but we were the first English team.

And then, of course, you've been cooking all this time.

Things have happened. You were right out there, you were a pioneer,

so much, excitingly, has happened since then.

You're absolutely right, and I'm really quite proud of that.

I've seen it all as it was, as it became,

as it is, and as it's likely to become.

-How it will be.

-But the nice thing is, I'm sure Fay will agree,

all things come around again and things are changing back to the way

they used to be in the '60s, in many ways.

Do you have a favourite period?

As we come towards this golden period of culinary art.

The mid-'70s to the '90s, for me,

was when we were really just getting going,

and I opened my own business in '86,

so that was really top of the pile at the time.

Yeah, yeah. OK, now, Brian, what would you like to go for?

Which of these surnames?

Well, I know a few.

I'm trying to find the most obscure.

I think I'm going to go for Frasier, Niles, and Martin,

and the answer is Crane.

Crane, says Brian.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Crane.

It is Crane, of course.

Oh, look, down it goes.

34, not bad at all, Brian.

Not bad. 34 for Crane. APPLAUSE

-Good start to the round.

-Nice start, Brian.

Apparently the cast member who got the most fan mail was Eddie the dog,

and Eddie was played by Moose for many years,

and then was played by Moose's son, Enzo.

-Oh, that's nice.

-For reasons we won't go into.

But, yeah, that role changed hands.

Moose, obviously, famously, went on into film, didn't he?

-Exactly.

-He went on to great things.

He went on to that great film about the farm in the sky.

-Love that film.

-Thank you very much, Richard.

Tony, a warm welcome to Pointless.

How many restaurants have you got these days, Tony?

I've just opened two, one in Edinburgh, at the Apex Hotel,

and one in Glasgow at the Alea Casino.

Are you there most days between each of them?

I've got a fantastic team in both so I'm there to do the menus

and training and everything, but the team look after it.

I see. And what are you up to otherwise, Tony?

Hopefully working on a new book.

The restaurants keep me busy.

I should think they do. Now, Tony, what about these surnames?

Sitcom surnames.

Brian pipped me to the one I knew.

-Oh, are we on untrodden ground here?

-That's OK.

Are you going to have to make something up?

Well, the other two I know are probably quite popular,

but it's which one is going to be less popular than the other.

I'll go Reggie Perrin.

You're going to go Reginald and Elizabeth Perrin.

Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Perrin.

34 is our only score so far.

40. Nice grouping, there, Tony. Very nice indeed.

Nice and close to Brian. APPLAUSE

Another good answer. A good start from everyone.

From The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin.

Thanks very much, Richard.

-Now, Olly.

-Hello.

Olly, welcome back to Pointless.

Now, you started out writing for children's television and film.

I did, yeah, I wrote for Pingu and Charlie and Lola and a little bit

-for Wallace And Gromit.

-I mean, some of that dialogue in Pingu.

It's incredible. It took years.

Absolutely amazing.

-What an ear you must have.

-For Penguinese, yeah.

-But other languages, not so much.

-I used to watch that.

-I did used to watch it before I had children.

-Yeah.

I love Pingu. I was a die-hard fan of Pingu.

I honestly thought that was a Scandinavian language.

It's a mixed up language.

We used to have to write scripts, obviously, in English,

but then the voice artist would describe the emotions

of what was going on. So it might be, come here, don't do that,

stop, you know, go. Demonstrative. And, occasionally funny.

But how did you get from that to wine?

I won a competition, actually.

It was a little-known reality TV show called Wine Idol.

One down from Bone Idle, which is the next.

Now, Olly, what would you like to go for on our board of surnames?

So, there's one that I know that's very familiar.

It's getting the pointless answer that's tricky.

I think I'm going to have to go with Alf Garnett, 1966.

Alf Garnett, says Olly. Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many of our 100 people went for Alf Garnett.

Well, it's right. 40 is our high score, 34 our low.

Oh, 50 for Alf Garnett. APPLAUSE

-50.

-Yeah, Peter Sellers turned down that role, as did Leo McKern.

There we are. Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

Michael, what a treat to have you here.

-Great to be here.

-A very warm welcome.

-Thank you.

-I think one of the first,

most glorious dinners I had was at Gidleigh Park.

Probably about '99.

What are you up to now?

You've moved on from Gidleigh, haven't you?

Yes, I've left Gidleigh,

-setting up my own country house hotel.

-Still in Devon?

Yes, in East Devon, just outside of Exmouth.

Fantastic. We've put a vineyard in there as well.

-It overlooks the wonderful coastline that is East Devon.

-Oh!

Exmouth and the estuary of the Exe River,

-so it's very exciting times.

-Very exciting indeed.

Best of luck with that, Michael. Best of luck with this as well.

What would you like to go for?

If you wanted to, you could go through all of those and fill in

-the answers.

-Well, really, I'm struggling with some of them,

but most of the ones that I had in my mind have already gone.

So I'm going to go for Hyacinth and Richard,

which I think is Bucket, or Bouquet.

I remember it being a bit of a comedy.

The pronunciation was a problem, if I remember rightly.

OK, Bouquet. Let's see if that's right, or Bucket.

Let's see if that's right, how many of our 100 people said Bouquet.

Well, there...

83, Michael. APPLAUSE

There we go. That is a high score.

It's a lot better than 100.

It's very funny, just in the English language,

very hard to hear the word "hyacinth" without saying "bouquet"

straight afterwards, isn't it? But, as you say,

spelt bucket but pronounced bouquet.

Now, let's fill in the rest of this board. Down the bottom,

there's another obvious one, Albert and Harold Steptoe.

65 points. Now, these remaining two are the best answers on the board.

The one second from the bottom is The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air.

It's the family from that.

And they were the Banks.

Would have scored you 12. The best answer is the family from Desmonds.

Their surname was Ambrose.

That would have scored you 1 point,

-so very well done if you said that.

-Thanks very much, Richard.

We're halfway through our first round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

Very well done on the first podium, Brian and Fay.

34, the best score so far.

-Thanks to you.

-That puts you ahead of the game at this point.

Well done. Then up to 40, where we find Tony and Cyrus.

50, Olly and Jilly, then 83, Michael and Sophie.

Now, Sophie, you get the first board,

so make sure you find a really low score.

Don't go too comfortable is what I'm saying, Sophie.

We need a low score from you to keep you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more sitcom families up on the board,

and here they are.

I shall read those all again.

Now... Oh, Sophie, no, no, no, no.

You're shaking your head. Before we get into that, though, Sophie,

let's just chat a bit about yourself,

cos you actually started off involved in making pop videos.

I was. A long time ago.

Yes, but still. Quite exciting.

-It was exciting.

-Which were the great videos that you were behind?

Who am I most proud of? Working with Paul Weller,

that was probably the one I was most proud of.

And I am one of the very, very few people in the country who can say

they have chased sheep across a Dorset hillside for Paul Weller.

Was that to get them into shot or out of shot?

Into shot. So, every time he was doing his kind of...

We'd have to get the sheep, wretched sheep,

to go across the hillside behind him. It wasn't easy.

Then you went from that into being this wonderful food writer,

a great authority you've become.

-How did that come about?

-Oh, just by accident.

-Really?

-Really, yes.

It was just a love you had.

Yes, I just cooked and I got asked by somebody to write an article,

so I did. And it was...

When you're young, when you're in your early 20s,

you kind of have this, "I can do that. Yeah, I could do it, easy."

And so I did it and realised it wasn't quite as easy as I thought,

-but, hey.

-But it turns out you can do it.

-Yes.

-You could and you can.

Now, here's something you have to do, Sophie, we have to score low.

Your nearest rivals are Jilly and Olly in front of you there on 50.

You're a little bit ahead.

So, we need a nice low score.

OK, I'm going to go for...

Is this right?

Tom and Barbara Good.

Tom and Barbara Good.

Tom and Barbara Good, says Sophie.

No red line for you as you're the high-scorers,

but let's see how far down the column we get with Good.

It's right.

Still going down. 43. APPLAUSE

43 takes you to 126.

Well, that could be good enough, Sophie.

-Let's see.

-Not a bad score at all.

The Goods from The Good Life.

Thanks very much, Richard.

Jilly, now, tell me about Jilly Goolding's wine room.

I have so much enthusiasm for wine.

I used to be able to release it in various ways on television,

talking to people. Somebody said, "Talk to individuals, why don't you,

"for once, instead of six million?"

And I had a go, and it's so great.

So, I get collections of really enthusiastic people,

they come from Australia, they come from South Africa,

they come from Sidcup, they come from anywhere.

And we do champagne, absolutely fantastic English sparkling wines,

but really obscure and unusual ones.

We do all sorts of little-known wines.

It's a real voyage of discovery, not just for the people who come,

but for me. I'm seeking out things that are incredibly off beam.

Wonderful.

Now, Jilly, there you are on 50.

Our high-scorers at the moment are Sophie and Michael behind you

on 126. 75 or less gets you through.

It's quite tricky, actually, because I really know the well-known ones,

which isn't what we want. I'm going to go for something that if

more than 75% of people don't know it, I will be astonished,

but I'm going to go for Basil and Sybil Fawlty.

Fawlty, says Jilly.

Sophie and Michael might be back in the game, I think.

-Let's see, Fawlty.

-Oh, dear!

Here is your red line. You have to get below that with Fawlty.

Let's see if you can do it.

It's right.

Oh, sugar!

91. Oh, no. APPLAUSE

91 takes your total up to 141.

This is absolutely demonically cruel.

Can I do that again?

You can come back and do it again any time you like, Jilly.

A very big score. It's worth remembering, Michael, that that's

also a lovely Devon hotel which had rooms and a nice restaurant.

-And lovely sea views.

-Yeah, lovely sea view.

-Yeah.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Now, Cyrus.

Cyrus, I gather you're writing another book,

you're compiling another cookery book at the moment.

I finished it, finally.

Oh, it's all done. Now, so how does that work? How do you start?

Is it basically you making a beeline to the publisher

and saying, "I've got so many recipes, I'm going to write a book."

Or do they come to you and say,

"It's high time we had another book from you, Cyrus."

It works both ways. In my case, it works the other way as well.

And do you have a very good idea of how you want to set it out

when you start off?

Sometimes I make a mistake of giving an idea,

because I do a lot of classes, and every time people get confused,

what they should have in the larder when they're cooking Indian food,

and they get confused because they see so many spices in the shop,

they don't know what to buy. So I thought, hang on,

I'm going to do a book with a handful of spices that everybody

can have in their houses and it's going to be easy.

So it's cumin, coriander, turmeric, chilli,

-the four main powders that you would use.

-Mm-hm.

And cinnamon, cardamom, clove.

And then pepper and star anise, finished.

Still no fenugreek. Can't believe it.

-Anyway.

-Lost.

-Now, Cyrus, there you are.

You're on 40. It doesn't matter what you score,

you're through to the next round. 141 is our high score.

You can have a bit of fun here.

I would score zero because I hardly ever watch television.

You're too busy writing books.

But I think I'll go for the second one, Peter, Lois, Chris - Griffiths.

OK, you're going to go Griffiths. Griffiths, you're saying.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.

No red line, you're already through.

-Wrong answer.

-Wrong answer. Couldn't matter less.

Scores you 100 points. 140 is your total.

-You are through.

-Sorry, Cyrus.

I'll give you the correct answer at the end of the pass.

Thank you very much indeed. Fay, warm welcome to Pointless.

-Lovely to have you here.

-Thank you.

-Now, you actually won your...

It was a sort of contest, your position on Evening Standard.

Yes, I won my job in a competition.

-How did that happen?

-Well, they were competition mad.

This was in 1972. Everything was a competition in the Evening Standard.

Their restaurant reviewer, Quentin Crewe, who was very innovative,

he really set the style for the way it's done these days.

He... I don't know if he was sacked. He left very abruptly.

So they ran a competition, that's how they responded to everything.

I won it and the prize was to do the job for three months.

-That was in 1972.

-Wow.

Fay, again, you're already through. It doesn't matter what you score.

But bearing that in mind,

do you want to talk us through the board and fill in all those blanks?

I really don't.

I can't. May I give what I think is the correct answer for number two?

-You may. Yes, do.

-Griffin.

Griffin, says Fay.

Easy mistake to make, Cyrus.

Griffin, says Fay. Let's see if it's right.

No red line for you, you're already through.

How many people said Griffin?

It is right.

18, very well done indeed.

18 takes your total up to 52. APPLAUSE

The best answer anyone gave in the whole round, Fay, very well played.

Let's fill in the rest of these now.

Victor and Margaret...

-Meldrew.

-Meldrew, of course.

That would score 66.

Derek, Rodney and Albert...

-Trotter.

-Trotter.

It actually scores less than Fawlty, interestingly, 88 points for that.

Jim, Barbara, and Anthony...

-Royle.

-Royle. The Royle Family, of course.

19 points for that. And Gavin, Stacey, Mick, Pam -

-best answer on the board.

-Shipman.

-They were the Shipmans.

That would have scored you 8 points. Well done if you said that.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, we come to the end of our first round, and I'm so sorry,

Jilly and Olly, at the end of each of these rounds, we have to send

a pair home, and I'm afraid...

Ooh, it's very close. Very close indeed.

Just a point in it. But I'm afraid you are our high-scorers on 141,

so that means...

There will be a glass of warm white wine in hospitality awaiting you.

I'm afraid this is where we say goodbye.

Thank you so much. Please come and play again.

Jilly and Olly, wonderful contestants.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

And so suddenly we're just down to three pairs.

-Is it?

-Extraordinary. Yes.

Yeah, no, Cyrus, it's going to happen.

At the end of this round, it'll be two!

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our next category this evening is...

The United States of America.

Can you all decide in pairs who's going to go first,

who's going to go second? And whoever's going first,

please step up to the podium.

OK. Let's find out what the question is. Here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many US states

beginning with U, N, I, T or D as they could.

US states beginning with U, N, I, T or D.

-Richard.

-Yeah, very little to add here,

other than we are looking for any US state...

..that begins with the letters U, N I, T or D.

Thank you very much indeed.

Now, Fay.

OK, I think I'll do N - New Jersey.

New Jersey, says Fay.

I like the sound of that. Let's see if it's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said New Jersey.

It is right.

Still going down, Fay, look at that.

There we are. 20. Very well done. APPLAUSE

20 for New Jersey.

Yeah, it's the only state of America that I got for Christmas.

-Boom-boom!

-Thanks very much, Richard.

Cyrus. US states beginning with U, N, I, T or D.

Yeah, so I'm trying to think what people may not guess with N, maybe,

so I'll go for Nebraska.

Nebraska, says Cyrus.

Nebraska, let's see if that's right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Nebraska.

Don't say uh-uh again.

Come on.

It's right!

There we are, 20 is our only score so far.

Nebraska, 37. APPLAUSE

Great answer, well played. It's the corn husker state.

Thank you very much, Richard.

Sophie?

-I'm going for U...

-Mm-hm...

-Utah.

-Utah, says Sophie.

Utah. OK, let's see where Utah ends up on our column.

We have a high score of 37, a low score of 20.

How many people said it?

-Look at that! 83!

-No!

-83!

-Nobody's heard of it!

-83! APPLAUSE

-You'd better do well!

-Well, what about that?

Yeah, I think it's the first letter we gave, and Utah even has

-the sound U at the beginning of it.

-Yes, it has.

And also, we forgot to say, we only asked Mormons.

LAUGHTER

Thank you very much. We're halfway through the round.

Let's take a look at those scores.

20. Once again, Fay and Brian, brilliant.

Now up to 37, Cyrus and Tony.

And then up to 83, Sophie and Michael.

I'm sorry, I'm just so sorry.

Who knows? Who knows why that was such a high score? But, Michael,

if you can deduce why that might be such a high score, go the other way

is all I can say, because we need a really low score from you.

Let's hope we get that and it keeps you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

So, Michael, yes, our high-scorers.

-Yes.

-So we need a low score.

-Feeling the pressure.

-So we're looking for US states

beginning with these letters - U, N, I, T or D.

What would you like to go for there?

Well, there's quite a few there, and...

I'm going to go for Illinois.

Illinois. OK. No red line for you.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Illinois.

-Oh, look at that! 11!

-I love you!

You see, there we are! APPLAUSE

Illinois, 94.

Great answer, Michael, very well played, yeah.

They dye the Chicago River green every year on St Patrick's Day.

-That's nice, isn't it?

-It is.

I don't know what with, but they do dye it green.

Green!

-Yeah. Thanks very much, Richard.

-Oh, it's a pleasure.

Now, there we are. That has given you a target, Tony -

you are wanting to score 56 or less.

Tampa.

-Tampa, says Tony.

-Is that a state?

Well, let's find out. Tampa. Let's see.

Here is your red line.

You have to get below that, and Tampa has to be a state.

Let's see if it is.

-Oh!

-I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Great celebrations on the far podium there for Sophie and Michael.

That scores you 100 points and takes your total up to 137.

Yeah, sorry, Tony. Tampa - a city in Florida, I'm afraid.

Thanks very much. Now then, Brian.

Once again, great news - you are through.

It doesn't matter what you score, you are in our head-to-head round.

Well, there are two.

I'm going to go more the safety one, it's a bit of a chance,

but it's the first state in America - Delaware.

Delaware. Delaware, says Brian.

No red line, you're already through.

Let's see how many people said Delaware.

It's right.

29. 49 is your total. APPLAUSE

Yeah, very well played, Brian. And, as you say,

the first state to ratify the constitution. 1787, that was.

Now, on that far podium, Sophie,

Utah was actually the biggest scorer of all.

But Illinois, the lowest scorer of all.

Nothing beat 11 at all.

Two scores of 11 - one is Illinois, and the other is New Hampshire.

That would have been a very good answer.

You'd have got 13 points for North Carolina, 15 for New Mexico,

16 for North Dakota.

You would have got 26 for Iowa, 37 for New York, 43 for Nevada,

45 for Tennessee. 53, Idaho.

Indiana would have scored you 56, Texas, 66 and Utah, as I say,

-right at the top there.

-Thanks very much indeed, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home

with their high score of 137, I'm so sorry, Tony and Cyrus. It is you.

It's been wonderful having you on but thanks so much for playing.

-Thank you.

-Goodbye, Tony and Cyrus.

-Thank you.

APPLAUSE

But for Brian and Fay, Sophie and Michael,

it is now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Brian and Fay, Sophie and Michael,

you're now one step closer to the final and a chance to play for

our jackpot, which currently stands at £2,500. There we are.

So, we have reached that point where we decide who goes through

to the final to play for that jackpot,

and we do it by making you go head-to-head.

So you play as teams from here on in, which is nice,

because it means you can confer before you give your answers.

And the first player to win two questions will be playing for that

jackpot for their charities. This should be very exciting.

Best of luck to both pairs. Let's play the head-to-head.

Here is your first question, and it concerns...

Famous Charlottes, Richard.

We're going to show you five pictures now

of famous people known by the name Charlotte.

We just need you to identify the most obscure of these, please.

Thank you very much indeed.

Let's reveal our five famous Charlottes, and here they come.

There we are. Five famous Charlottes.

Brian and Fay, you've been our low scorers throughout,

so you get to go first.

Yeah. We sort of know a couple.

We think.

So we're going to take a bit of a gamble.

We're going to go with E - we think it's Charlotte Bronte.

E, Charlotte Bronte. E, Charlotte Bronte, say Michael and Fay.

Now then, Sophie and Michael,

the rest of those Charlottes are all yours,

if you want to go through them and name them for us?

We've got Charlotte Church.

-Yes.

-Charlotte Rampling, and horsey Charlotte.

-We're not sure about horsey.

-I personally would go for Rampling.

-I would, yeah.

-It's my only option.

We'll go for...

-Charlotte Rampling.

-A Rampling, we will go.

OK, so Rampling and Bronte.

Brian and Fay went for Charlotte Bronte.

Let's see if that's right for E.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Charlotte Bronte.

32. APPLAUSE

32 for Bronte.

-You're looking worried, Brian.

-I AM worried.

No, I think, I think that's good.

-That's good.

-You're concerned by her popularity?

Yeah, I thought it would be lower than that, to be honest.

Well, you have gone for Charlotte Rampling.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Charlotte Rampling for C.

Oh, it's going to be close. It's going to be...

Look at that! 30 for Charlotte Rampling.

Look at that, very well done! APPLAUSE

Sophie and Michael. After one question, you are up 1-0.

That was very close, that one, wasn't it?

That's taken from Charlotte Bronte's Instagram page, that one.

-That's...

-You can tell she chose that herself.

That's a selfie taken in her bathroom mirror.

You can see, she's got her iPhone in there, in her right hand there.

Now, A is Charlotte Church. It's a big scorer, though.

Would have scored you 73.

Move down to D, horsey Charlotte, as you say,

would have won the point for either team.

-That's Charlotte Dujardin.

-Dujardin.

Charlotte Dujardin would have scored you 14. The best answer, B -

she's a famous assassin during the French Revolution.

-Murdered Marat - it's Charlotte Corday.

-Oh!

So, here comes your second question.

Now, Sophie and Michael get to answer it first,

so slight advantage there. Pressure on you, Brian and Fay.

We need a low score from you.

You have to win this one to stay in the game, so best of luck.

Our second question this evening is all about...

-Cakes and puddings. Rich?

-That's gone down very well.

We should have said ice creams, imagine that!

We're going to show the names of five cakes and puddings now,

but they are in anagram form. Can you unscramble the anagrams

and tell us the most obscure one, please?

Thanks very much indeed. Let's reveal our five anagrams,

and here they come. We have got...

Sophie and Michael will go first.

Sporting voice, spotted dick... Good one, this.

-Spotted dick.

-Yes, that's... No... Yes, that's...

What's four attack beagles?

No, no, no, because lots of people will say that.

Yeah, we're going to go for Black Forest gateau.

Yes, Black Forest gateau, bottom.

OK, for four attack beagles, Black Forest gateau.

OK, Black Forest gateau.

Brian and Fay, what would you like to go for?

-Well...

-Talk us through them all, if you can.

-Uh...

-I can remember the first one.

-Victoria sponge.

-And we think that spotted dick is the

next to the bottom one. But we think we're going to go for...

Are we going to go for that?

-Two Zs?

-Yes, lemon drizzle.

Lemon drizzle.

Lemon drizzle. You're going to go for lemon drizzle.

So we have Black Forest gateau and lemon drizzle.

Now, Sophie and Michael went for Black Forest gateau.

Let's see how many of our 100 people got that from four attack beagles.

It's right.

Oh, look at that!

-Yes!

-APPLAUSE

Well done, you! Well done.

-That...

-Well, that was down to you.

..is impressive.

Lemon drizzle is what Brian and Fay have gone for, from milder nozzle.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many of our 100 people got that.

Lemon drizzle's right.

Oh, 41! APPLAUSE

Well, very, very well done, indeed.

Sophie and Michael, after only two questions,

you are through to the final 2-0.

Yeah, Black Forest gateau best answer on the board there.

-Terrific... Terrific work.

-Almost impossible to find in there.

I couldn't find that.

-It was a tough one, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

-It was a tough one.

Now, we've had the answers to four of these, so we'll find the scores.

A sporting voice, Fay, you told us was Victoria sponge, quite right.

That would have scored 23 points.

Pitted docks, we know is spotted dick.

And that would have scored you 67.

Now, have you worked the last one out?

-Sticky toffee.

-Sticky toffee pudding.

Sticky toffee pudding. And that would have scored you 20.

So, Black Forest gateau, far and away the best answer there.

Thanks very much, Richard. So, the pair leaving us

at the end of the head-to-head round, I'm afraid,

it's our wonderful low-scoring pair, Brian and Fay.

So strong the whole way through the show,

nothing wrong with any of your answers here.

But, yes, you was robbed...

..by a better answer in each case. LAUGHTER

But thank you so much for coming and playing with us.

Come and play again, it's been wonderful to have you here.

-Brian and Fay!

-Thank you.

-APPLAUSE

But, for Sophie and Michael, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Sophie and Michael.

You've fought off all the competition,

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

-Wow!

-Hooray!

You now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot,

for your charities, and at the end of today's show,

the jackpot is standing at £2,500. There it is.

So, a very, very well done.

You know, there were a couple of moments, a little bit touch-and-go,

but here we are.

Now, as always, you get four things to choose from.

Let's see what the categories are today.

We've got to hope there's something up there you like the look of.

We have, today...

Argentina, I don't think I know anything about.

-Monty Python is difficult.

-Big stakes.

-Yeah.

-Monty Python. I think Monty Python.

-You've got to go for the stuff that

you instinctively think you're going to stand a chance.

It's going to be random, isn't it? Musical things with blood.

So, what do you...? Do want to do sport in 2003?

-No, you're not strong on that.

-I think Monty Python's easier.

Let's do Monty Python, because that's pretty broad, isn't it?

-Come on.

-It's got more food in it.

-Yeah.

-OK.

-The Holy Grail, and all that.

That's drink!

-Go for it.

-OK. Monty Python.

Monty Python it is. Richard.

OK, best of luck. Here are your three options.

Hopefully one of these will suit you.

We're looking for any film starring John Cleese, please.

Any film for which John Cleese has received an acting credit,

up to January 2016, according to IMDb.

We are looking for - I like this one -

any of the things that the Romans have done for us.

Anything in that speech, please, from John Cleese.

Or we're looking for the title of any Michael Palin

travel documentary, please. Again, to the beginning of January 2016.

So John Cleese films, things the Romans have done for us,

and Michael Palin travel documentaries.

-Very best of luck.

-Thanks very much indeed.

So, as always, you've got a minute to come up with three answers.

All you need to win that jackpot is for just one of your answers

to be pointless. Are you ready?

-We think so.

-About as ready as we'll ever be!

Perfect. Let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

-OK, so...

-Romans have done roads.

-They have.

-And what else have they done for us?

Have they done drains? I don't know anything about that.

-They didn't do trains, but Palin did something...

-Drains, drains, drains.

Drains. They did roads, drains, they also did...

-Oh, gosh, yes.

-..money.

Hadrian's Wall. John Cleese's films.

-I know, I know, but...

-Fish Called Wanda.

-Fish Called Wanda, he did.

-Right, OK.

He did Bond films, James Bond.

-He was...

-Which one, though?

I knew you were going to ask that.

Yeah, well, they'll probably want to know it.

Can we just say "James Bond"?

-No, I don't think that'll do. Um...

-OK.

-Michael Palin's travel doc... He's just been everywhere.

-He has.

If we just say "in China", will that count?

-He was on trains, wasn't he?

-He was... "On trains"!

-I'm trying to think of it.

-Oh, no!

-This is where I'm

-starting to think maybe...

-Did he do one...?

-..blood in the title.

-Oh, no, that was a film, wasn't it?

The one where he did the prostitutes?

Oh, no idea. I must have missed that one.

-Ten seconds left.

-We've only got ten seconds left.

-OK, so...

-We've got to get serious now.

-Let's do one for the Romans...

-Clock... Clockwise, Clockwise.

John Cleese, Clock... What was it?

-Clockwork?

-That is your time up.

I now need your three answers.

-OK. Let's go...

-Clockwork.

-Let's do it.

-Clockwork.

-Yeah.

-John Cleese films.

Do one for Romans?

-Yeah, what...?

-Drains?

-No, drains or roads.

-Roads, let's do roads.

-Roads.

-Roads for the Romans.

-And then go back to...

-Fish Called Wanda?

-Yeah, why not?

-A Fish Called Wanda.

-It's a bit obvious.

-I know.

-For John Cleese.

-But you've got to wonder.

-OK, there we are. A Fish Called Wanda.

-That's bad. Yeah.

-Fish Called Wanda.

-There we are.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer,

-do you think?

-I think Clockwork.

-Clockwork, yeah.

-Clockwork, we'll put last.

-Least likely to be pointless?

-Probably John Cleese...

-The...

-Fish Called Wanda.

-Fish Called Wanda.

-Possibly roads.

-We'll put...

-Roads...

Let's put roads in the middle, and we'll put Fish Called Wanda

-at the beginning.

-OK.

-OK.

Let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then,

and here they are. We've got...

-Good luck.

-Well, very, very best of luck.

You're playing for charities today.

What charity are you playing for, Sophie?

I'm playing for Kids Cookery School, in Acton,

which is a wonderful institution that takes disadvantaged children

and encourages them to cook, and gives them a sense of purpose.

Wonderful. Michael, how about you?

Mine is Families For Children. I'm the patron of

this wonderful adoption charity that takes children from all around

the UK, and puts them in loving families within the south-west.

And I, myself, was adopted, so it's a great cause.

Wonderful. APPLAUSE

Two fabulous charities there.

Really, let's hope that one these answers is pointless and will win

that jackpot for those charities. So, your first answer was

A Fish Called Wanda. In this case,

we were looking for John Cleese films.

You only have to find one pointless answer among these three to win

that jackpot, so let's find out. For £2,500, let's not forget.

How many of our 100 people said A Fish Called Wanda?

Well, it's right.

It now just has to go down to zero.

And if it does that, you leave here with £2,500 for your charities...

Oh, bad luck. APPLAUSE

-All right.

-40 for A Fish Called Wanda.

Not bad, though. Not bad.

More than halfway down the column.

-Not good enough.

-Only two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your next answer was roads.

In this case, we were looking for things the Romans have done for us.

It has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot, so for £2,500,

let's see how many people said roads.

Again, it's right.

A Fish Called Wanda took us all the way down to 40.

Roads now taking us down through the 40s, passes 40,

down it goes through the 30s...

29 for roads. APPLAUSE

So I'm afraid, also not a pointless answer,

which means you only have one more shot at today's jackpot.

Everything is now riding on your third and final answer, Clockwork.

So remember, we were looking in this case for John Cleese films,

once again. This has to be pointless for you to win that jackpot.

For £2,500, how many people said Clockwork?

-Oh, bad luck!

-What was it called?

I'm afraid... APPLAUSE

I should have done the Romans...

I mean, a brilliant performance across the show.

I mean, you've managed to get through by the skin of your teeth on

a couple of occasions. Then, you're through 2-0 in the head-to-head,

no arguing with that, and through to that final.

It wasn't a brilliant board for you, was it?

-That was quite tough.

-Never mind.

-But, you got two out of three,

but I'm afraid you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless

answer, so I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot of £2,500.

However, as today's show is a celebrity special and each of

our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity,

we are going to donate £500 to each celebrity pair for their respective

charities, so there you are. APPLAUSE

It's been great having you on, guys.

And you get to take home a Pointless trophy each,

-so, very well done.

-Yeah, very well played throughout.

Clockwise is the name...

-It was Clockwise!

-..which I think you knew.

Anyway, it would have scored you 12 points, Clockwise.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers in the different categories.

We'll start with John Cleese, shall we? A few big films here.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

He plays Nearly Headless Nick. Philosopher's Stone would have

scored you one point. Silverado, the Western, was a pointless answer.

In fact, all of his films were pointless answers apart from...

None of the Python films were pointless,

and none of his Bond films were.

First two Shrek films weren't pointless,

but the third Shrek film, that was a pointless answer, Shrek the Third.

Then we've had Clockwise, Fish Called Wanda,

Fierce Creatures, and Rat Race.

Every other film was pointless, apart from those.

Now, let's move on to the things the Romans have done for us.

Now, we've talked about one of these a lot on today's show - wine.

-Wine!

-It's all you had to say.

You would have walked away with the money.

Public health, medicine, fresh water system,

those are the only four pointless answers there.

Now, Michael Palin travel documentaries -

four pointless answers here.

Also, Great Railway Journeys was the title of one of his shows,

and you were talking a lot about him being on trains.

He hosted one episode of that, so it would have been a very good answer.

Very well done if you got any of those at home,

-and tough luck in the studio.

-Thanks very much.

Well, sadly, Sophie and Michael didn't manage to win the jackpot.

But join us next time,

when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me - goodbye.