Fashion Pointless Celebrities

APPLAUSE

Thank you very much indeed.

Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong,

and welcome to this Style and Fashion edition

of Pointless Celebrities,

the game where we avoid the obvious answers

and we find the obscure ones.

Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.

APPLAUSE

And couple number one.

Hi, I'm Brix Smith-Start, and I'm a musician, I'm a stylist,

-I'm an author and a TV presenter.

-HE CHUCKLES

I'm Jonathan Phang, and I'm a model agent and a Travel Channel host.

HE CHUCKLES

APPLAUSE

Couple number two.

Hi, I'm Amy Childs.

Hi, I'm Sam Faiers.

We are TV personalities and fashion designers.

APPLAUSE

-Couple number three.

-Hold on, which hat do I have on today?

I'm Grace Woodward, I'm a celebrity stylist, presenter and retailer.

I'm Brendan Courtney, I'm a broadcaster

and a womenswear designer.

APPLAUSE

And, finally, couple number four.

My name's Lee Stafford, and I'm a hairdresser.

And I'm Nicky Clarke, and I'M a hairdresser.

APPLAUSE

Thanks very much, all of you.

We will find out more about you as the show goes along.

So that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.

Exploring all the avenues like a cab driver doing the Knowledge,

it's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.

Hiya. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Evening, everybody. Evening.

-Good evening to you.

-And to you, sir.

-I feel slightly underdressed.

-It's a very stylish show today, isn't it?

-Very, yeah.

Look at everyone. Very cool. Very cool.

That's why I wore my Alexander McQueen sarong under the desk.

-Yeah!

-I don't normally do, as you know.

-No.

Well, it can sometimes get caught on the chair, can't it?

Exactly. Health and Safety.

Should be a cracker. We've only had two people on the show before

and they're both on that podium four, Nicky and Lee.

Both been on with different partners.

Neither of them have seen the business end

of an episode of Pointless yet,

so hopefully, this time, they may well do.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, as usual, all of today's questions

have been put to 100 people before the show.

Our lovely contestants are looking for those

all-important pointless answers,

the answers, of course, that none of our 100 people gave.

Do that, and we will add 250 quid to the jackpot.

Now, as today's show is a celebrity special,

each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity.

We start off of with a jackpot of £2,500.

There we are.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.

OK, all you have to remember is that the pair with the highest score

at the end of each round will be eliminated.

That is it. That is the only rule of Pointless

and of course there is to be no conferring in the first two rounds.

Our first category this evening is...

Food. It's Food. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, and the question concerns...

..Cheese And Biscuits.

There we go, Cheese And Biscuits.

-Richard?

-What better way

to start a cutting-edge Style and Fashion version

of Pointless Celebrities?

On each board, we'll show you seven questions.

The answers to all of those questions

are either a type of cheese or a type of biscuit.

Seven on each board, 14 in all to have a go at at home.

Very, very best of luck.

Excellent, OK.

So, we are looking for the cheeses or biscuits

described by these clues.

Here's our first board of seven.

I'm going to read all those again.

Jonathan, welcome to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Good to have you here.

Now, you were a fashion agent for... For how long?

-31 years!

-HE LAUGHS

Cos we always think of fashion as being a very glamorous world...

And a young person's world!

Still for you, Jonathan - still very young.

-Very youthful.

-Thank you.

We think of it as very glamorous.

I should think down in the hot galley of fashion agency it's anything but glamorous.

Not glamorous at all. You sit behind a computer like anybody else and...

put up with a load of nonsense like everybody else!

Did you ever use the words,

"She's not getting out of bed for less than..."?

-Did you ever say that?

-Many, many, many times.

-Yes.

And how often did the phone just go dead?

Well, with the calibre of my lot, not very often.

-You went on then to food.

-Yes.

-The world of fashion and food,

they're not obvious bedfellows, are they?

You know what? You're right. They're not obvious but I've been cooking

for a lot longer than 31 years, so it's been part of my life as well.

Very good. Well, this is a dream round for you, then, isn't it?

Not bad. Not bad.

-What are you going to go for?

-A rich, creamy white cheese,

its name in Italian means "beautiful country".

-And?

-Bel Paese.

Bel Paese, says Jonathan.

Bel Paese, let's see if it's right,

let's see how many of our 100 said that.

It's right.

Bel Paese is still going down,

look at that, Jonathan! Down it goes.

5, that's a great answer!

What a start to the round!

Hurrah.

5 for Bel Paese.

Very well played, Jonathan. He does know his food, doesn't he?

Great start to the show, 5 points, well played.

Thank you.

Thank you very much indeed. Sam.

Sam, a warm welcome to you to Pointless.

-Thank you.

-Now, you started out on Towie.

Well, you started out doing lots of things, I'm sure,

but Towie was where you came to prominence.

Are you sort of still in Towie?

You occasionally sort of drift back in, don't you?

I left over a year ago now, so I haven't been back since.

OK. And, Sam, you've got a chain of shops, you've got an online service,

retailing and all sorts of things like that.

Was that sort of helped by Towie, do you think?

Of course, I always say that Towie was an amazing platform

for everything that we've gone on to do,

like with our products and our brand and stuff,

-so I'll always thank Towie for that. Yeah.

-Fabulous.

Now, Sam, how are we feeling about cheese and biscuits?

This is really, really hard for me.

I'm just staring at it and I can just think of all the obvious...

but I don't even think they're the right answers.

-I can't think of any.

-You can make something up.

-My mind's gone blank.

Make something up. It might be right.

OK, the top one, I'll go with Stilton.

Stilton. As I said, it may be right.

Let's see how many of our 100 people said Stilton.

Look at that. There we go, Sam.

-How I got that...

-That's how you play Pointless.

-43, very well done. Good answer.

-APPLAUSE

Well played, Sam. Yeah, Stilton can only been made

in Leicestershire, Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire.

Thanks very much indeed.

Now, then. Grace, lovely to have you here.

Now, is the world of fashion... Is it a backbiting,

sort of forbidding...place?

I think yes and no.

You know, you are... You're only as bad as you are,

so you have to decide what sort of person you're going to be

within the fashion industry.

And sometimes being a diva gets you further than you would imagine...

-Well, of course.

-..and something it doesn't.

Well, that's right. If you're a critic, I suppose,

and it's your job to stand - as it so often is yours -

to stand at the side of the red carpet,

you're going to have a lot more fun

if you can find people wearing things you don't like.

Having been on the worst-dressed list myself quite a few times,

I do know how much it stings.

So, I think if you are going to tease people

about what they are wearing, it has to be funny,

it has to be in the name of humour, rather than just outright nasty,

because being nasty is just not very nice, is it?

No. No, actually, I was going to ask you right now, what do you...

what do you think of our couture, Richard and I?

You're wearing baby blue spots

and Richard is wearing a shade of blancmange,

which, you know, they're very, very complementary with each other,

you know, the pastel shades are very spring-summer.

I'd say you've done really well.

We're very fashion forward, aren't we, Richard, you and I?

We are very fashion forward,

-we like to be seven degrees beyond trend.

-Indeed.

-Don't we?

-Indeed.

-That's where we are.

-Very good.

Now, Grace...

Erm, I think... I do know the answers to some of them,

but I'm going to go with...

biscuits originally made from pieces of leftover bread dough.

Mostly because the answer involves a minor naughty word, I think.

-What is it?

-Which is Dorset knobs.

-Dorset knobs.

-Yes.

Oh, Jonathan is nodding. That's all you want.

That is all you want to achieve.

Jonathan's nodding, let's see if Dorset knobs is right.

It is right, very well done indeed.

Well, 43's our high score at this point.

You pass it.

5 is our low.

You pass it, look at that! Grace!

APPLAUSE

Dorset knobs...

..scores you 2.

Terrific answer, Grace.

Very well played, very low score.

Yeah, take between eight and ten hours to be baked.

It's also the name of the only punk band ever

to come out of Wimborne Minster.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Have you heard of Dorset knobs?

-Dorset knobs, never have, no.

-Never have.

-Neither the band, nor the biscuit.

-I tell you what, after the show

-we'll both have to go and try some Dorset knobs.

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER Come on. Come on.

-Don't you think?

-Yeah. Oh, dear.

-Lee. Now, Lee, welcome back.

-Thank you.

What happened last time you were on?

-Do you remember how far you went?

-I either went out first or second.

-I didn't do very well, basically.

-You're looking impeccable.

-They're incredibly well groomed, aren't they?

-Yes.

-We do try!

Lustrous, lustrous.

What happens if you have a bad-hair day?

I mean, that's just unforgivable, isn't it?

Erm...it's not so bad for a man, is it?

Cos you can just grease your hair back,

have a skinhead, and you're off.

I think it's a lot worse for a woman if she has a bad-hair day.

For a guy, it's no big deal.

I love the way you pointed at Grace

as you said it's terrible for a woman to have a bad-hair day.

-The, you've a whole range of products.

-My pink babies.

-Do you... Do you use your own products?

-Of course, mate.

-I'm wearing Messed Up today.

-Are you?

-Messed Up, yeah.

-OK.

Now, listen, Lee, this board is all yours.

If you wanted, you could talk us through it,

fill in all the blanks for us.

Oh, don't. I mean, I love cheese as well,

but I'm normally just eating it.

But my family, my mum's family, are all Jewish,

so I'm hoping I've got the last question right,

the thin crisp biscuit,

and I think that's called matzo.

Matzo, says Lee. Once again, Jonathan is nodding.

This is good. Let's see if matzo's right,

let's see how many of our 100 said matzo.

Matzo is absolutely right, Lee.

Very well done, indeed.

You pass our high score...

go down to 18.

Very nice.

APPLAUSE

Good end to the pass.

Well played, Lee. Now, between you,

you've got the three lowest answers on that board.

It's very impressive. This is not like Pointless Celebrities at all.

LAUGHTER But let's fill in the rest of them.

-The flat, round cheese is...

-Gouda.

-"Goo-da" or "gow-da".

-Or "gow-da".

-Would have scored a 38.

Our Dutch viewers will let us know which of those is right.

The RL cheese...

-Red Leicester.

-Red Leicester.

Another big scorer. Would have scored 59.

And the Ulysses...

Is Gorgonzola.

Gorgonzola. And that would have scored you 26,

so very well played, everyone, on that round.

Thanks very much, indeed. We're halfway through the round,

so let's take a look at those scores.

2, Grace. Very well done to you. The best score of that pass. Superb.

Grace and Brendan looking very strong.

Then we travel up to 5, where we find Brix and Jonathan.

Then up to 18, Lee and Nicky.

Then, yes, Sam and Amy, you are on...

43, yes. A little bit out in front.

But, Amy, do what you can.

Find a nice low score and let's hope it keeps you in the game.

We're going to come back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

OK, let's put seven more cheeses and biscuits up on the board - and here they are.

I'll read all those one more time.

There we go. Now, Nicky, welcome.

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Also impeccably groomed, Nicky.

Who... Who does YOUR hair?

That's the question. Who do you allow to do your hair?

My girlfriend, Kelly, who works in the salon as well.

When did you decide it was going to be hair? When did you...

What age were you when you suddenly thought, "Actually, you know what?

"Of all the..." Cos it... Style, it could have been anything, I suppose.

I definitely think it must have been

that article I read about Warren Beatty in 1972.

That would have been the one. Shampoo.

Yeah. I was about 15, I think, at the time.

And you thought, "That is what I'm going to do."

And, blimey, have you done it?!

And how? It's been fantastic.

-What a career!

-Well, it's still fantastic.

It's a dream job. I mean, Lee will say the same thing.

It's, like...you know...

What other job do you get

where someone tells you you're a genius half a dozen times a day?

And you get to find out so much

-about people's holidays as well, which is nice.

-Exactly!

-It doesn't help for this, though.

-ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Now, you're on 18.

Lovely low scoring-ish, there, from Lee.

But, yes, to keep you comfortably in the game, I'd say,

if you can score 24 or less,

you're definitely through to the next round.

Well, it's actually very embarrassing

because I'm a really good cheese lover

-and of course...

-A good cheese lover, that sounds terrible.

You know, I love cheese and the first set of questions,

I knew every one, other than the Dorset knobs.

Erm...I might just go for a semi-obvious one,

and just hope that we stay safe.

I'll go for the hard Italian cheese,

I think...which I believe is Parmigiano, Parmesan.

Parmigiano, says Nicky. Let's see if that's right.

Here's your red line - if you can get below that with Parmesan,

you're through to Round Two.

Let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

That looks good enough to me.

44.

Takes your total up to 62.

Well played, Nicky. It's been into space, Parmesan cheese.

Two Italian astronauts took it on the space shuttle,

then took it on to the International Space Station.

Was that just so they could have it on their space food?

-I don't think you could grate it...

-No.

-..in space.

-Oh, it would go everywhere, wouldn't it?

-That's not great, is it?

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

Did one of them take Parmesan

and the other one took a massive pepper grinder?

Thanks very much. Now, Brendan.

Brilliant low-scoring by Grace in that first pass.

Amazing. Incredible.

Amazing. Amazing. Now, Brendan, you,

I read, designed your first dress at the age of 12.

-Yes, I did, for my mother.

-For your mother?

-Yes.

Yeah, yeah. Which we still have, actually.

Is it in a museum? Or is it...?

No, it's actually framed in my house.

-She gave it back to me. She still fits it.

-Fantastic.

And did you make it from scratch?

No, I designed it, and my aunt knit it.

-It's all gone a bit Irish now, hasn't it?

-Yeah!

It was a flapper dress. It was, like, 1920s kind of style.

-Are you that old?

-No.

No, I just... I'm 87, I've had a lot of really good work.

ALEXANDER LAUGHS

-Very good. And you've brought The Clothes Show back.

-Yes.

-The Clothes Show live.

-Yes, we did The Clothes Show live together.

I did it for about nine years and, yeah,

so I did bits and bobs of broadcasting here in the UK, yeah.

Wonderful, wonderful.

-Now, Brendan...

-Yes?

2, lovely low score.

-59 or less gets you into the next round.

-Yeah.

Well, the irony is, I work in fashion,

so I haven't eaten dairy or carbohydrate in 15 years.

So I never eat cheese and I never eat biscuits.

I do know the answer to the second one, it's very obvious,

obviously cos I'm Irish,

but I'm going to go for the top one,

the Spanish sheep's-milk cheese

that gets its name from the area of La Mancha,

and I think it's Manchega.

OK. Manchega, says Brendan.

There is your horizontal streak of ash or soot,

running through the centre of the column.

Let's see if Manchega is right,

let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

Ooh, no.

Bad luck, Brendan. For reasons that will be disclosed

at the end of the round, that is an incorrect answer.

Scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 102.

Not all over yet, though.

Grace set you up very, very strongly early on.

Yeah, not Manchega,

I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.

Thank you very much indeed.

-Now, Amy.

-Hello.

Amy, a very warm welcome to you.

Now, you stopped doing Towie quite a while ago, didn't you?

Yep. I was one of the first to go.

I just wanted to do my own thing, really.

I love, like, the salon, the boutique,

I've got my own clothing line out.

So, yeah, I really miss it.

Me and Sam, we do miss it, don't we?

-Cos we was the original cast.

-We always watch it.

We had an amazing time, but I wanted to do my own thing.

And you've got your own salon, haven't you?

Yeah, I've got my own salon, I've got my own boutique, so...

-Do you think you'll be expanding as well?

-I would love to expand,

I really would, so hopefully in the next year, couple of years.

Wonderful. Now, listen, you're on 43.

102 is the high score - Brendan and Grace over there.

So, 58 or less. 58 or less, Amy - that's easy, surely.

I love cheese and biscuits, I really do,

but I haven't got a clue about any of this.

I'm going to go for the obvious answer.

-What are you going to go for?

-I'm going to say

savoury square biscuit,

first marketed by W and R Jacob in Dublin...

Carr's crackers.

Carr's crackers. Carr's crackers.

-OK...

-It's easy, but I wouldn't have a clue otherwise.

Here's your red line,

let's see if you get below that with Carr's crackers.

-Oh.

-Oh, Amy, bad luck.

You're going to kick yourself when you know what the answer is there,

because you're not far off it.

100 points, I'm afraid, that scores you - 143 is your total.

Sorry, Amy. Not Carr's crackers, I'm afraid.

Again, I'll give all the answers at the end of the round.

OK. Now, Brix, welcome to Pointless.

Lovely to have you here.

Can I commend you on... I mean, how stylish!

Look at that beautiful green there.

That's a tone we don't often see often in this studio -

an emerald green. What would you call that?

I'd say it's kind of electric apple.

-I love those electric apples.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Granny Smith.

-Very good indeed.

-Stop it.

-But, Brix, you were in The Fall, for heaven's sake.

-Correct.

You were in The Fall and here you are...

You came over to the UK...

Have you been resident of the UK for ages and ages and ages?

I have, since 1983.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-So The Fall was English-based, then?

I joined The Fall after they had done about five albums,

and they brought me over to play guitar. So, yeah.

Amazing. Amazing, but then you went from that into fashion...

-Yeah, I did.

-You have... You have boutiques called Start.

-Called Start, yeah.

-That's right. But then...

you've gone back into music.

You've got a band back together with various members of The Fall.

Yes, weirdly enough, I do.

It's called Brix And The Extricated,

and it's like some of the best members of The Fall.

And we're doing old Fall songs that we wrote,

plus new stuff, cos we're in the studio recording now.

-Fabulous. And touring?

-It's fun. And touring.

Brilliant. Good news for you is you're through to the next round,

-no matter what you score.

-Yay!

But, Brix, I think you'll probably know quite a few.

Do you fancy talking us through the board,

and then you can select the one you want to submit?

Spanish sheep's-milk cheese

that gets its name from the area of La Mancha

is Manchego.

Savoury square biscuits are, erm, cream crackers.

Er, Wallace and Gromit one is Wensleydale.

The French cow's milk, which I'm sure is the lowest answer,

with the soot running through it, I do not know.

I cannot think. I cannot, either, think of the other savoury biscuit,

which I'm probably going to kick myself.

Parmigiano, and then the final one is Stinking Bishop,

-which is going to be my answer.

-Stinking Bishop.

No red line for you, as you're the low-scorers anyway,

and you're already through.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Stinking Bishop.

It's right, Stinking Bishop...

Look at that! 7.

7, what a brilliant score on this first podium.

12, well done.

Great answer, Brix. Yeah, Stinking Bishop, named after a pear,

which in turn was named after a farmer called Frederick Bishop,

who had a notoriously bad temper.

Brix Smith And The Stinking Bishops is a good name for a band,

not as good as Brix Smith And The Dorset Knobs.

-Oh, my God.

-That would be even better.

You took us through the board very nicely, so let's do the scoring.

Yeah, Brendan, Manchego is the answer. There's a Manchega sheep,

but Manchego is the cheese.

8 points for that. And, yeah,

it is cream crackers that Jacob's brought out in Dublin.

Would have scored you 35.

Wensleydale's the biggest scorer on the board.

Would have scored 56.

Do you know M at all?

-Do you know the cheese with the soot.

-No, I don't.

It's Morbier. Morbier. It's the best answer.

-1 point, if you got that at home. BRIX:

-I knew it!

-And the biscuit...

-Bath Oliver.

Is a Bath Oliver.

And that would have scored you 11 points.

Thank you very much indeed.

So, at the end of our first round,

the pair heading home with their high score of 143, Amy and Sam.

-I'm so sorry.

-Ohh.

-Oh, Sam, that was great with Stilton, though.

-Thank you.

-I thought you were going to make it over the line.

-Yeah, I wasn't sure.

-Cream crackers...

I got the brand in, I got the brand.

Yeah. Well, listen, we have to say goodbye to you now,

but please come back and play again.

-Thank you.

-Thank you so much.

It's been lovely having you on the show. Thanks so much, Amy and Sam.

But, for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.

APPLAUSE

You'll have noticed that, magically, one of our couples has disappeared,

we're now down to three pairs.

At the end of this round, equally magically,

we'll be down to two pairs.

Well, listen, I've got plaudits to hand out. Congratu...

Grace, congratulations to you, our lowest individual score.

Well done, Brix and Jonathan for our lowest combined scores.

Very well done indeed.

And very, very well done, Nicky and Lee,

for that just beautiful hair.

-For scraping through.

-Great.

Looking fabulous. Lovely to have you in Round Two.

Best of luck to all three pairs.

Our category for Round Two this evening...

is Countries.

-Ohh.

-Countries. Can you all decide in your pairs

who's going to go first, who's going to go second?

And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.

OK, let's find out what the question is - here it comes.

We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many countries of the world

whose first vowel is an O as they could.

Countries of the world whose first vowel is an O.

Yeah, looking for the name of any country in the world

whose common short-form name in English has as its first vowel an O.

As always, by country we mean a sovereign state

that's a member of the UN in its own right.

Obviously the country doesn't have to begin with O,

or it would be a very short round,

just as long as its first vowel is a O.

Thank you very much indeed, Richard.

Jonathan, Jonathan.

-It's a tough one, this, isn't it?

-It is a tough one.

You have the expression of someone who hasn't yet found an answer.

No, I'm not quite grasping... Georgia?

-Or not?

-Nnnn...erm...no.

-No, sorry, I...

-Well, I don't know, I don't know.

-I'm going to have to take that, Jonathan.

-Oh...

OK, I'm going to have to take Georgia, I'm really sorry.

-Not as sorry as I am.

-Oh...well...

-Or me.

..let's see what happens with Georgia.

HE LAUGHS

-Sorry, Jonathan.

-There's a surprise.

For reasons I'm sure that will be perfectly plain to you,

-that is an incorrect answer.

-That's cruel.

-It is cruel.

-And scores 100.

-Sorry, Jonathan.

-It does sound like its first vowel is an O.

-It does.

But it's an E, of course.

It's a terrific answer for a round

-countries whose first vowel is an E, though.

-Yes.

I'm so embarrassed.

Grace, Jonathan has taken one for the team there, I would say.

He's given you an abject lesson in what not to go for,

and he's given you a little bit of time.

And he's given you a margin -

a buffer of 100 points between you and leaving the show.

No pressure! I can think of two.

-This is good.

-I think it's about choosing the one

that is going to have...

is...be the most pointless, which they're both up there.

So I'm going to go with Norway.

-Norway?

-Yeah.

-Norway, there we are.

First vowel very much an O,

let's see how many of our 100 people said Norway.

It's right.

And it scores 37.

APPLAUSE

37 for Norway.

Well played, Grace. Safe and sound. The Disney animators behind Frozen,

that's all based on Norway and Norwegian geography

-and Norwegian architecture.

-Mmm.

Thanks very much, Richard. Now, Lee, Lee,

countries whose first vowels are Os.

Erm, I'm going to go with Bosnia.

Bosnia, says Lee.

Bosnia, let's see how many of our 100 people said Bosnia.

It's right.

-9.

-APPLAUSE

9 for Bosnia.

Well played, Lee. We're getting into this now, aren't we?

Yeah, Bosnia, its full name is Bosnia-Herzegovina,

but we always accept Bosnia on the show.

Thank you very much. Well, we're halfway through the round,

let's take a look at those scores. Lee, the best score of the pass.

Lee and Nicky looking very strong at this point,

then up to 37 where we find Grace and Brendan,

and then up to 100, Jonathan and Brix.

The round is not over yet, though.

The round is not over yet,

so, Brix, good luck finding a nice low scoring country

whose first vowel is an O.

We're coming back down the line now.

Can the second players please step up to the podium?

Nicky. You're in very, very good shape, thanks to Lee there.

I strongly suspect you will be in the head-to-head.

But let's have a nice low-scoring answer from you.

There's a few, but there might be a couple that might be a state.

I'm going to go for Jordan.

Jordan, says Nicky.

Two very good answers from that far podium.

Here's your red line, nice and high.

Get below that with Jordan, you're in the head-to-head.

There we are, you've done it.

Good answer, 8.

Even lower than Bosnia Herzegovina.

Takes your total up to 17, very well done.

Great answer, Nicky. Look at the experience on that last podium,

getting them safely through. Yeah, Jordan, the first vowel is an O.

If you'd given us the alternative name,

which is of course Katie Price,

the first vowel is an A in that.

-Wouldn't have been correct.

-Judiciously done there.

Now, Brendan, 37 is your score.

62 more or less sees you through.

I have two.

But I think they're both obvious.

I can't think of any others, other than those ones.

So I'm going to go with what I think

might be the least obvious by its sound,

so I'm going to say Portugal.

Portugal, says Brendan. Here's your red line.

If you get below that with Portugal, you're in the head-to-head.

Let's see how many of our 100 said Portugal.

It's right.

And you're through.

There we are, 25.

Taking your total up to 62.

Well played, Brendan. Safe and sound.

The largest wave ever surfed was off the coast of Portugal.

78ft-high.

That's too big.

Well, it turns out it wasn't.

-Turns out it was just big enough.

-Just big enough.

-Thanks, Richard. Now, Brix, I have woeful news for you...

-Yes.

..which is that you are the high-scorers,

even before you've given your brilliant answer.

I can only apologise. I'm sorry.

Now, Brix, you've had time to come up with a cracking answer.

What would you like to go for?

-Mozambique.

-You see? There we go.

-And let's see.

-There we go.

No red line, I'm sorry to say, because you're our high-scorers.

Oh, I wish I knew what points I had.

But Mozambique, let's see how many of our 100 people said that.

It's right.

It's a lovely answer, Brix.

I have every confidence this will go a long way down.

There we go, 6. There's your answer.

And 106 is your total.

Yes, lowest-scoring answer of the round, Brix, very well played.

There's actually only one pointless answer on the whole board.

Very well done anyone at home who said Solomon Islands.

That's the pointless answer. I'll give you some of the low-scorers.

You'd have got 1 for Cote d'Ivoire,

you'd have got 2 for the Comoros,

you'd have got 2 for Dominica, you would have got 5 for Costa Rica,

Dominican Republic and Slovakia and Slovenia.

They're always together, Slovakia and Slovenia, like Laurel and Hardy.

6 for Mozambique, we've seen 7 points Honduras, Montenegro,

Togo and Croatia,

and 8 points for Jordan, Moldova and North Korea.

Thanks very much, Richard.

So, at the end of our second round, the pair who are heading home -

oh, they're our star pair. Lovely low scoring we've had from you.

-You'll just have to come back.

-Yes, please.

Come back. It's been lovely having you on.

Thank you so much. Brix and Jonathan.

But, for Nicky and Lee, Grace and Brendan,

it's now time for our head-to-head.

Congratulations, Nicky and Lee, Grace and Brendan.

You're now one step closer to the final

and a chance to play for our jackpot,

which currently stands at £2,500.

AUDIENCE WHOOPS

So, here's the point we decide who goes through to the final

and plays for that jackpot,

and we do this by making you go head-to-head.

But the difference is you're now allowed to confer

before you give your answers.

First pair to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.

Best of luck. Let's play the head-to-head.

OK, here comes your first question, and it concerns...

Madonna.

Madonna. Richard?

I'm simply going to show you five images now

of people who have some connection with Madonna.

You need to tell us the most obscure of these five, please.

OK, let's reveal our five people with connections to Madonna.

And here they are.

We have...

There we are. Five people with connections to Madonna.

Now, Nicky and Lee, you've been our low-scorers

throughout the show, so you get to go first.

Let's go, I'm hoping this is right, because we do know all of them...

Let's go for B, Eva Peron.

Eva Peron.

Eva Peron, say Nicky and Lee.

Now, Grace and Brendan,

talk us through the rest of that board, if you can.

Well, we know all of them except the last one.

Obviously Britney she duetted with,

Justin Timberlake she duetted with,

she was married to Sean Penn.

The last one I think is her brother.

The teeth, it's something about the teeth, but I don't know who he is.

Let's go with C, I trust you.

You like Madonna,

you know a lot about Madonna.

-Let's go with D, let's go Sean Penn.

-Oh.

-Yeah.

-OK, so were going to go with D, Sean Penn.

-Yeah.

So, we have Sean Penn and we have Eva Peron,

but the other way around. Nicky and Lee said Eva Peron.

I'm just hoping it is actually her and not her mother!

LAUGHTER

Let's find out, is that Eva Peron?

It's right, good answer.

25.

25 for Eva Peron.

Meanwhile, Grace and Brendan have said Sean Penn for D.

Let's see if that's right,

let's see how many people said Sean Penn.

It's right.

57 for Sean Penn. Very well done, Eva Peron wins that one.

So, Nicky and Lee, after one question, you're up 1-0.

Yeah, only one answer there that would have beaten Eva Peron

and, as you can imagine, it is E.

We'll get on to him.

A is Britney Spears.

She would have scored you 64.

Justin Timberlake would've actually been the lowest answer

of the ones you knew. He would have scored you 48.

And the last one, he produced a number of her tracks,

including Ray Of Light - it's William Orbit.

It's a pointless answer, very well done if you said that.

OK, here comes your second question.

Grace and Brendan, you get to answer it first,

but you have to win it to stay in the game, so best of luck.

Our second question this evening

concerns novels first published in the Eighties.

Novels first published in the Eighties. Richard?

I'm going to show you a list of five novels now.

But all we're going to do

is give you the initials of the novel and the author.

Can you tell us what the novel is, please?

OK, thanks very much. Let's reveal our five novels in initial form -

and here they are.

I'll read those all one last time.

Grace and Brendan will go first.

-So, um, yeah?

-Yeah.

-OK.

So, I can answer some of them,

but we are going to go

Love In The Time Of Cholera

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Love In The Time Of Cholera, say Grace and Brendan.

Now then, Nicky and Lee?

I think I know the Stephen King one. I think.

And I think I know the Roald Dahl one.

OK, I'll take the flak if it's wrong.

Matilda.

You're going to say Matilda for Roald Dahl.

OK. Grace and Brendan have gone for Love In The Time Of Cholera,

Nicky and Lee for Matilda. Let's see, Grace and Brendan,

if Love In The Time Of Cholera is right.

It most certainly is right.

How far down the column are you going to get with that?

Oh, look at that, very good answer, 10.

10 for Love In The Time Of Cholera.

Now, Nicky and Lee ended up going for Matilda for Roald Dahl.

Let's see if it's right, let's see how many people said it.

It's right.

60 for Matilda.

Well done, Grace and Brendan, that's exactly what we needed from you.

You're back in the game after two questions. It's 1-1.

Another terrific answer.

Yeah, again, only one answer would have beaten that.

It's not the third one down. The third one down is...

The Bourne Identity.

The Bourne Identity. Would've scored you 31.

Let's go to the bottom one next.

It is It. It was a big scorer - would have scored you 71.

And the best answer -

it's the follow-up to The Godfather, this book,

and it is The Sicilian.

Would've scored you 6 points.

Very good. Thank you, Richard. Here comes your third question.

Best of luck to both pairs,

cos whoever wins this goes through to the final. It concerns...

Audrey Hepburn. Audrey Hepburn, Richard.

Simply going to show you five clues now to facts about Audrey Hepburn.

The pair that gives us the lowest answer

is going through to play for the jackpot,

so very best of luck, everybody.

Thanks, Richard. Let's reveal our five clues - and here they come.

I'll read those one last time.

Now then, Nicky and Lee will go first.

Let's go for the last one. UNICEF.

-Is that right?

-Mm.

-OK.

We are going to go for the last one, I think,

the charity for which Hepburn was a goodwill ambassador,

and I'm just hoping it'll be right, otherwise Lee is going to kill me.

Whether it's going to be a good enough answer, I don't know,

but let's go for UNICEF.

UNICEF, say Nicky and Lee.

UNICEF. Now, Grace and Brendan.

Shockingly, I have no idea what the first one is.

I think I kind of know the second one.

We have a vague idea.

You can say it, you can talk us through all the answers.

So, well, I was going to say that would have been California, but...

I think it was Switzerland.

Retirement. We think retirement...

France.

The Yorkshire Terrier, not a clue.

I'm not even familiar too much with that film.

Oh, it's Rex.

It's just come to me now.

-Was it Rex Harrison?

-Rex Harrison.

-Is that it?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Rex Harrison.

OK, the actor who played Professor Henry Higgins is Rex Harrison.

That's one you're going to go for? Rex Harrison.

So, we have UNICEF and we have Rex Harrison.

So, Nicky and Lee said UNICEF.

Let's see if that's right, let's see how many people said UNICEF.

It's right.

18 for UNICEF, very well done.

Good answer. Now, Grace and Brendan, meanwhile,

have gone for Rex Harrison. Let's see if that's right,

-let's see how many people said Rex Harrison.

-Yeah.

It's right.

Beat 18. Oh, 28 for Rex Harrison.

Two good answers there, but UNICEF pips it.

Nicky and Lee, well done. After three questions,

-you're through to the final, 2-1.

-Well played, Nicky and Lee.

Now, if we'd forced you to go for the country she lived in,

-what would you have gone for?

-Switzerland.

If you'd said Switzerland, you'd now be in the final.

It's a correct answer and would have scored you 12 points.

-The first one is...

-Holly Golightly.

Holly Golightly. That would have scored 26 points.

And the best answer on the board, unsurprisingly, is the dog.

1 point for the rather ironically named Mr Famous.

AUDIENCE GROANS

Thanks very much, Richard. So, the pair leaving us

at the head-to-head round, Grace and Brendan.

What a career described by your Pointless appearance this time.

You've been so nearly out and then, oh, back in,

rescued by our Towie friends.

It's good to leave the former losers to point to maybe become winners

cos they're still losers right now.

I know what you're saying, I know what you're saying,

and next time when you come back, you can then go through to the final

which will be nice. That will be fitting.

It's been lovely having you on.

Grace and Brendan, wonderful contestants, thank you.

But for Nicky and Lee, it's now time for our Pointless final.

Congratulations, Nicky and Lee, you've seen off all the competition

and you have won our coveted Pointless trophy.

Fantastic. Listen, you now have the chance to win

our Pointless jackpot for your charities,

and at the end of today's show, the jackpot stands at £2,500.

There we are.

AUDIENCE WHOOPS

Well, listen, you've been on before, both of you, gone away,

-changed partners, come back together...

-Yeah.

..right through to the head-to-head and beyond

to the final. I mean, fantastic.

What do you want to see come up in this last round?

What can we dish up for you?

-Hair.

-Hair.

That would be weird.

I'm not sure that would be, actually!

-Sausages, we said.

-Sausages, there you go.

-Hair and sausages.

Sadly, we had that last week, but still, who knows?

Something will be up there, I hope, that you like the look of.

Four things for you to choose from, as ever.

Today's selection looks like this.

Classic Motown, we would probably be about the same on that.

We would probably get our... You know...

You know your Marvin Gayes, you know your Diana Rosses.

Yeah, little bit. A little bit.

Should we go for it and see?

It's more likely that we'll probably know something.

-Come on, let's do that.

-We'll go for Classic Motown.

Classic Motown it is. Rich.

Well, you're saying that you know your Diana Ross,

you know your Marvin Gaye.

Let's see if that will help you on these three questions.

We're looking for any of the tracks

on the original release of Diana Ross' album Diana from 1980.

We're looking for any of the tracks from the original release

of Stevie Wonder's Talking Book from 1972.

Or we're looking for any of the tracks

on Marvin Gaye's What's Going On from 1971.

So, any of the tracks on the original release

of any of those three albums, please.

-Very best of luck, gents.

-Thanks very much.

OK, as always, you've got up to one minute

to come up with three answers.

All we need for you to win that jackpot for your charities

is for just one of those answers to be pointless. Are you ready?

OK, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.

There they are. Your time starts now.

Tracks on Marvin Gaye's What's Going On.

-Well, Heard It Through The Grapevine, I think.

-Yeah.

Talking Book, Stevie Wonder, I'm assuming Superstition might be on.

-HE HUMS:

-# Very superstitious... #

-And what's the other one?

-Tracks on Diana Ross's Diana.

What's the... Um, what's...?

River Deep, Mountain High.

Is it that one?

Don't know.

We shouldn't have chosen this one, should we?!

What's the other ones on Stevie Wonder?

What's the other tracks?

What was... You know the Marvin Gaye one,

what was the one that thingy got done just recently?

-I'm pretty sure...

-Because he copied it.

-What was it? Pharrell.

-Don't know.

Heard It Through The Grapevine,

I'm pretty sure.

-But we need three, though, don't we?

-We do need three.

What's the Diana Ross tune?

It's the other one. What's that?

OK, that's your time up. Let's have three answers from you now.

And if you say which album you are submitting.

OK, I'll do the first one, tracks on Diana Ross's Diana.

-I'm Coming Out.

-I'm Coming Out.

Yes. Talking Book, let's do...

-..Superstition.

-Superstition.

And What's Going On...hopefully, Heard It Through The Grapevine.

Heard It Through The Grapevine. OK, three answers there.

Of those three, which is your best shot at a pointless answer?

Marvin Gaye. No, no, that's too obvious.

OK, we'll put Marvin Gaye first.

Heard It Through The Grapevine can go first.

He's the least likely to be pointless.

Which one's your best shot at pointless?

Let's try the Diana one as our hopeful.

OK, so we're going I'm Coming Out.

I'm Coming Out. OK, we'll put that last.

OK, let's pop those answers up on the board in that order, then.

and here they are. We've got I Heard It Through The Grapevine,

Superstition and I'm Coming Out.

Well, very best of luck. Three good answers on the board.

Let's hope one of those is pointless

and wins that jackpot for your charities.

What charities are you playing for? Nicky, what are you playing for?

I'm going to split mine, if it was to happen,

between Fight for Life and Lupus UK.

-Very good. Lee?

-Mine is a charity called Basic.

It's a head-injury charity in Manchester.

Very good indeed.

Three great charities there.

Let's hope one of these answers wins that jackpot for your charities.

Fingers crossed. Your first answer,

the one you thought was least likely to be pointless,

was I Heard It Through The Grapevine.

In this case, we were looking from tracks from What's Going On.

If it's correct, and if it is pointless, it will win you £2,500.

How many people said I Heard It Through The Grapevine?

Oh.

-Well...

-Not a good start. Good song, wrong album.

Yes, exactly. There we are.

So, two more shots at today's jackpot.

Your second answer was Superstition.

In this case, we were looking for tracks from Talking Book.

For £2,500,

how many people said Superstition? Is it pointless?

It's right.

Well, your first answer,

I Heard It Through The Grapevine, was incorrect.

But Superstition is absolutely bang on track, down it goes,

into single figures, we're still going down.

7. 7 for Superstition.

Oh! There we are.

-There we are. This is more the ballpark, isn't it?

-Yes!

Very good. Unfortunately, not a pointless answer.

But a really strong answer there.

If you can keep that up with your third answer,

the one you put in pole position, let's face it,

the one you thought was your best shot at a pointless answer,

we might be on to something. I'm Coming Out. In this case,

we were looking for anything from Diana Ross' album Diana.

For £2,500, how many people said I'm Coming Out?

Is it pointless?

It's right.

OK, I Heard It Through The Grapevine was incorrect,

but Superstition was absolutely right.

That took us the way down to 7.

I'm Coming Out now takes us, passing 7, down...

AUDIENCE GASPS

NICKY LAUGHS

I tell you what, that is a very, very creditable performance

in this last round.

As ever, we've had low score after low score from you,

right through the game.

-Unfortunately, you just narrowly...

-It's been fun, though.

..didn't find that pointless answer.

I'm afraid you don't win today's jackpot.

But, as today's show is a celebrity special,

all of our celebrities are playing for a nominated charity,

we're going to donate £500 to each celebrity pair

for their respective charities.

And brilliant to have you on.

And you get to take home those coveted Pointless trophies,

so there we are, it is all good. Richard.

Well played, gents. Played brilliantly from start to finish.

Been a pleasure having you here.

I Heard It Through The Grapevine

is from the Marvin Gaye album In The Groove, I'm afraid.

Let's take a look at the pointless answers,

see how well people did at home.

Diana Ross album. Give Up, Have Fun (Again),

Now That You're Gone and Tenderness.

Those were the four pointless answers on that album.

Stevie Wonder, a few big ones here. Blame It On The Sun.

I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever).

Looking For Another Pure Love.

And You Are The Sunshine Of My Life

was a pointless answer, unbelievably.

And there's four pointless answers on the last one as well.

Flyin' High was a pointless answer.

Right On, Save The Children

and Wholy Holy.

Very, very well done if you got any of those at home.

-Terrific work.

-Thanks, Richard.

Well, unfortunately, we have to say goodbye to Nicky and Lee.

But it's been such a treat having you on the show,

and a fantastic performance right from the beginning.

Thank you so much for coming on and playing, Nicky and Lee.

Join us next time

when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.

-Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard.

-Goodbye.

And it's goodbye from me. Goodbye.

APPLAUSE