Browse content similar to 08/01/1976. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Line | From | To | |
---|---|---|---|
BAND PLAYS IN THE TWI-TWI-TWILIGHT | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
# In the twi-twi-twilight | 0:00:09 | 0:00:12 | |
# Out in the beautiful twilight | 0:00:12 | 0:00:16 | |
# They all go out for a walk, walk, walk | 0:00:16 | 0:00:20 | |
# A quiet spoon and a talk, talk, talk | 0:00:20 | 0:00:25 | |
# That's the time they long for just before the night | 0:00:25 | 0:00:32 | |
# And many a grand little wedding is planned | 0:00:32 | 0:00:37 | |
# In the twi-twi-twilight! # | 0:00:37 | 0:00:42 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:00:44 | 0:00:47 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
CHEERING | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
Once again... | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
CHEERING | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
..good evening, ladies and gentlemen. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:10 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Good evening! | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
For your laudatory, levity, | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
launching, sonorous symposium... | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
Oh! | 0:01:19 | 0:01:21 | |
..enshrining the shimmering Miss Sheila Steafel... | 0:01:21 | 0:01:26 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
..and the noncommittal Players' Theatre! | 0:01:28 | 0:01:31 | |
# Martha spanks the grand pianner | 0:01:35 | 0:01:37 | |
# Father whacks the drum | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
# Mother in a soulful manner blows the tootle-tum | 0:01:39 | 0:01:43 | |
# Charlie sings the concertina | 0:01:43 | 0:01:45 | |
# Bob goes fiddle-de-dee | 0:01:45 | 0:01:46 | |
# But I'm a brick for I waggle my stick with a one, two, three | 0:01:46 | 0:01:50 | |
# Yes, I'm a brick for I waggle my stick with a one, two, three | 0:01:50 | 0:01:54 | |
# A big drum, a kettle drum | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
# A fiddle, flute and piccolo | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
# Piano and harmonium | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
# And many more beside | 0:02:02 | 0:02:03 | |
# A French horn, a saxhorn, a trombone and a double bass | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
# Bows, banjo, tambourine | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
# Bassoon and ophicleide | 0:02:08 | 0:02:09 | |
# A big drum, a kettle drum, a fiddle, flute and piccolo | 0:02:09 | 0:02:12 | |
# Piano and harmonium and many more besides | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
# A French horn, a saxhorn, a trombone and a double bass | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
# Bows, banjo, tambourine and what about a harp? # | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
# I'm so fond of music | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
# Do-re-mi-fa-so | 0:02:50 | 0:02:51 | |
# So...so...so | 0:02:51 | 0:02:54 | |
# Thank you very much | 0:02:54 | 0:02:56 | |
# I take my harp with me whenever I go | 0:02:56 | 0:02:59 | |
# The fellows all call me the Queen of the May | 0:02:59 | 0:03:03 | |
# But when I start to sing to them swiftly they say | 0:03:03 | 0:03:09 | |
# Oh... | 0:03:09 | 0:03:10 | |
# Oh | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
# Touch the harp gently, my pretty Louise | 0:03:13 | 0:03:18 | |
# Pretty Louise Pretty Louise | 0:03:18 | 0:03:22 | |
# Do what you like but don't sing if you please | 0:03:22 | 0:03:26 | |
# Touch the harp gently... | 0:03:26 | 0:03:29 | |
# My pretty Louise... # | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
# I was asked out to dinner | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
# That's the meal after tea | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
# To play some them some music, I took this with me | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
# On bar beef and carrot and trotters we fed | 0:03:51 | 0:03:55 | |
# When they brought on the Limburger cheese someone said | 0:03:55 | 0:03:59 | |
# Oh... | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
# Oh | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
# Touch the harp gently, my pretty Louise | 0:04:05 | 0:04:10 | |
# Pretty Louise Pretty Louise | 0:04:10 | 0:04:14 | |
# Just to accompany the hum of the cheese | 0:04:14 | 0:04:18 | |
# Touch the harp gently... | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
# My pretty Louise | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
# On my wedding night, oh, I did feel so shy | 0:04:29 | 0:04:32 | |
# I sat in a chair and I cast down my eye | 0:04:32 | 0:04:36 | |
# It's two in the morning, my Archibald said | 0:04:36 | 0:04:39 | |
# You can sit up all night, dear | 0:04:39 | 0:04:41 | |
# But I'm going to bed | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
# Oh... | 0:04:45 | 0:04:47 | |
# So... | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
# Touch the harp gently, my pretty Louise | 0:04:56 | 0:05:01 | |
# Pretty Louise Pretty Louise | 0:05:01 | 0:05:04 | |
# If I'm asleep don't wake me if you please | 0:05:04 | 0:05:08 | |
# Touch the harp gently... | 0:05:08 | 0:05:12 | |
# My pretty Louise. # | 0:05:13 | 0:05:16 | |
# Yip-i-addy-i-ay-i-ay | 0:05:20 | 0:05:23 | |
# Yip-i-addy-i-ay | 0:05:23 | 0:05:26 | |
# I don't care what becomes of me | 0:05:27 | 0:05:31 | |
# When he plays me that sweet melody | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
# Yip-i-addy-i-ay-i-ay | 0:05:34 | 0:05:38 | |
# My heart wants to shout out hooray! | 0:05:38 | 0:05:41 | |
# Sing of joy, sing of bliss Home was never like this | 0:05:41 | 0:05:45 | |
# Yip-i-addy-i-ay-i-ay | 0:05:45 | 0:05:49 | |
# Sing of joy, sing of bliss Home was never like this | 0:05:49 | 0:05:52 | |
# Yip-i-addy-i | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
# Yip-i-addy-i! | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
# Yip-i-addy-i-ay | 0:05:56 | 0:05:58 | |
# I-ay! # | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
-Provocatively... AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:06:12 | 0:06:15 | |
..vociferous in verisimilitudinous... | 0:06:15 | 0:06:19 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
..ventriloquial... | 0:06:21 | 0:06:22 | |
From the stomach. ..vivification. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:27 | |
Mr Arthur Worsley! | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:06:29 | 0:06:32 | |
Well, what a lovely audience, eh? | 0:06:40 | 0:06:42 | |
Thank you for the applause as we came on, | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
which is more than we'll get when we walk off, isn't it? | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
Since we last saw you we have been, me and him, him and me, | 0:06:51 | 0:06:54 | |
me and him... We have been me and him... | 0:06:54 | 0:06:56 | |
We have been... Is everybody all right in the ditch? | 0:06:56 | 0:06:58 | |
We have been all over, not part of, all over the world. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:05 | |
And he didn't like it. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:06 | |
He says next year he's going somewhere else. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
You're lucky to see us tonight. What a... | 0:07:12 | 0:07:14 | |
You're lucky tonight. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:17 | |
Aren't they lucky tonight? Oh, gosh. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:19 | |
Look at me when I'm talking, son. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
The trouble we had in London. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
We came on a choo-choo, didn't we? | 0:07:28 | 0:07:30 | |
Didn't we come on a little choo-choo? | 0:07:30 | 0:07:33 | |
He got the ticket on the last minute. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
He ran on the platform, didn't you? | 0:07:38 | 0:07:41 | |
I was in a suitcase and he ran on the platform, | 0:07:41 | 0:07:45 | |
jumped in the train and the inspector said, | 0:07:45 | 0:07:48 | |
"You're in the wrong train." What did he say? | 0:07:48 | 0:07:51 | |
"Get out," didn't he? | 0:07:51 | 0:07:54 | |
He ran to the other platform, | 0:07:54 | 0:07:56 | |
jumped on the train, the inspector came again. | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
What did he say? "You're on the wrong train," didn't he? | 0:07:59 | 0:08:03 | |
I could hypnotise you, do you know that? | 0:08:06 | 0:08:10 | |
It wouldn't take long, you're half gone all ready. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:13 | |
He said, "Get out!" Didn't he? | 0:08:15 | 0:08:17 | |
We got on another... A-n-n-other. We got on a-n-n... | 0:08:17 | 0:08:19 | |
We got on another train. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:22 | |
That drink you had has gone to my tongue, you know that? | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
We got on another train and what did you do? | 0:08:26 | 0:08:31 | |
You started swearing, didn't you? | 0:08:32 | 0:08:36 | |
Who was a naughty boy? | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
Who started swearing? | 0:08:41 | 0:08:42 | |
Because you'd been messed about, eh? | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
And who was sitting opposite you on the train? | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
A parson. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:54 | |
And he heard you, didn't he? He heard you swearing, didn't he? | 0:08:57 | 0:09:00 | |
Didn't he? | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
And he said, "Young man..." | 0:09:02 | 0:09:06 | |
He said, "Young man," didn't he? | 0:09:08 | 0:09:11 | |
"You're on the road to hell." | 0:09:13 | 0:09:16 | |
And he said, "Dammit, I'm on the wrong train again!" | 0:09:18 | 0:09:22 | |
Bernard, I'm not going to do the song. Understand? There's no song. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
I'm cutting it out. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:34 | |
I was going to do The Merry Widow. I'm not going to do it. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:37 | |
Now, you've been a wonderful audience. | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
I would like to wish you goodnight and always remember that it | 0:09:39 | 0:09:43 | |
wasn't the apple on the tree that caused all the trouble | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
in the Garden of Eden, it was the pear on the ground. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:49 | |
Goodnight! That's it. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:51 | |
Scintillant... | 0:10:02 | 0:10:04 | |
Scintillant from resplendent transatlantic triumphs... | 0:10:04 | 0:10:09 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
..ineluctably incandescent, | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
Miss Georgia Brown! | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
# I'm a young girl and I just came over | 0:10:25 | 0:10:30 | |
# Over from the country where they do things big | 0:10:30 | 0:10:36 | |
# And amongst the boys I've got me a lover | 0:10:36 | 0:10:40 | |
# And now I've got a lover why I don't give a fig | 0:10:40 | 0:10:46 | |
# The boy I love is up in the gallery | 0:10:48 | 0:10:55 | |
# The boy I love is looking down at me | 0:10:55 | 0:11:01 | |
# Why there he is can't you see | 0:11:01 | 0:11:05 | |
# Waving his handkerchief | 0:11:05 | 0:11:09 | |
# As merry as a robin what sits on the tree | 0:11:09 | 0:11:16 | |
# Now if I was a duchess and I had a lot of money | 0:11:24 | 0:11:30 | |
# I'd give it to the boy who's going to marry me | 0:11:30 | 0:11:35 | |
# But I haven't got a penny so we'll live on love and kisses | 0:11:35 | 0:11:42 | |
# And we'll be just as happy as the birds on the trees | 0:11:42 | 0:11:49 | |
# The boy I love is up in the gallery | 0:11:50 | 0:11:57 | |
# The boy I love is looking down at me | 0:11:57 | 0:12:03 | |
# Why there he is can't you see | 0:12:04 | 0:12:07 | |
# Waving his handkerchief | 0:12:07 | 0:12:12 | |
# As merry as a robin what sits on the tree | 0:12:12 | 0:12:20 | |
# Yes, there he is can't you see | 0:12:20 | 0:12:24 | |
# He's waving his handkerchief | 0:12:24 | 0:12:29 | |
# As merry as a robin | 0:12:29 | 0:12:35 | |
# That sits on a tree. # | 0:12:35 | 0:12:41 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:12:43 | 0:12:46 | |
A devastatingly debonair duplicity... | 0:12:55 | 0:12:58 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:12:58 | 0:12:59 | |
..in a spectacular synthesis | 0:12:59 | 0:13:03 | |
of incantatory and saltatory... | 0:13:03 | 0:13:06 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
-..simultaneity. AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
Two lads singing and dancing together. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:13 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, Ray C Davis and Tudor Davies. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:17 | |
# Tell me, have you seen the latest dance that's come along? | 0:13:35 | 0:13:37 | |
# Why don't you go and get your Sunday hat and jacket on? | 0:13:37 | 0:13:40 | |
# There's going to be some jollity | 0:13:40 | 0:13:43 | |
# Come along, join the song Help us sing a soppy song | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
# I tell you it's the greatest thing creation's ever known | 0:13:46 | 0:13:49 | |
# Take a tip or two and see | 0:13:49 | 0:13:52 | |
# Hold tight You're all right | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
# When you do the H-O-P | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
# Hop, hop, come and do the kangaroo hop | 0:13:57 | 0:14:00 | |
# Hop, hop, it's the dance for me and you | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
# All the ones you did before they didn't mean a jot | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
# While huffing and puffing and knocking the stuffing | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
# Right out of the pot | 0:14:07 | 0:14:08 | |
# Hop, hop, hear the music going pop | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
# You'll never, never want to stop | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
# There's no other kind of dance at all | 0:14:12 | 0:14:16 | |
# So come along, my honey make the others look small | 0:14:16 | 0:14:18 | |
# Come and do the kangaroo | 0:14:18 | 0:14:21 | |
# Come and do the kangaroo. # | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 | |
One, two, three, four. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
THEY WHISTLE | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:00 | 0:15:02 | |
Oh, brother dear, brother dear. | 0:15:02 | 0:15:04 | |
Do you not find the atmosphere in this fine old theatre | 0:15:04 | 0:15:07 | |
-decidedly bucolic? -Pardon? | 0:15:07 | 0:15:09 | |
-Bucolic, bucolic! -All right, all right! | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
It's that kipper he had at breakfast. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
I feel like doing something forwards as well as backwards. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
No, forwards, and very daring. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
-I know. -Yes? | 0:15:19 | 0:15:20 | |
Why don't we invite some of these lovely ladies in the audience | 0:15:20 | 0:15:23 | |
to join with us in a little... | 0:15:23 | 0:15:26 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:26 | 0:15:27 | |
-A terpsichorean display. -We'll get arrested. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:31 | |
-BOTH: -You take the left, I'll take the right. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:33 | |
Right, now, who's going to come and dance with me? | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
-Who's going to dance with me? -I think there's one there. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:39 | |
Come on, come and have a dance. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
-Up you come. -What's your name, my darling? | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
-Deborah. -I've got the Deborah. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:47 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
That's one. Come on, my darling. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:51 | |
What's your name? You're not with anyone you shouldn't be, are you? | 0:15:54 | 0:15:57 | |
-No! -Here we go. Whoa! | 0:15:57 | 0:16:00 | |
Here we go. Well, I've got two. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
Pop up... | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
That's one. Where's another one? | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
-Sandra I've got. -Never mind, you can get some ointment for it. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
-Round you go. -Right, follow me, ladies. -Here we go. | 0:16:13 | 0:16:15 | |
# La-da-dya | 0:16:15 | 0:16:18 | |
# Ya-ta-ta-ta... # | 0:16:18 | 0:16:19 | |
What do you think they're going to do? | 0:16:19 | 0:16:21 | |
-You stand to my right. -Here we go. -You stand to my left. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:26 | |
-Right. -I think I'll take this one. -Are you ready? Oi! | 0:16:26 | 0:16:28 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:16:28 | 0:16:31 | |
THEY WHISTLE | 0:16:31 | 0:16:35 | |
# Ladies, won't you let us whisper something in your ear? | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
# We've got some information that we're sure you'd like to hear | 0:16:39 | 0:16:42 | |
# Come on and throw yourselves about | 0:16:42 | 0:16:45 | |
# Give a shout, there's no doubt everything's is popping out | 0:16:45 | 0:16:48 | |
# Ladies, if we saw those frilly knickers in the air | 0:16:48 | 0:16:51 | |
# That all the cowboys come and see | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
# It's a scream, one long dream | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
# When you do the H-O-P | 0:16:56 | 0:17:00 | |
-# Come on and hop -Come on, hop! | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
# Hop, come and do the kangaroo hop | 0:17:03 | 0:17:06 | |
That's right... | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
She's going up but she could be going down. | 0:17:09 | 0:17:12 | |
Oh! Oh! | 0:17:13 | 0:17:16 | |
Round in a circle. Come on, girls... | 0:17:16 | 0:17:18 | |
# You'll never, never want to stop | 0:17:19 | 0:17:21 | |
# Come and do the kangaroo | 0:17:25 | 0:17:27 | |
# Come and do the kangaroo | 0:17:27 | 0:17:28 | |
# Come and do the kangaroo | 0:17:28 | 0:17:30 | |
# K-A-N-G-A-R-OO... # | 0:17:30 | 0:17:36 | |
Here we go. Follow me. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:48 | |
There we go, my darling. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:52 | |
And the next one. Can you make it? | 0:17:53 | 0:17:57 | |
Thank you very much, ladies. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:59 | |
-Here we go. Weren't they wonderful? -APPLAUSE | 0:17:59 | 0:18:02 | |
# Come and do the kangaroo | 0:18:08 | 0:18:09 | |
# Come and do the kangaroo | 0:18:09 | 0:18:10 | |
# Come and do the kangaroo | 0:18:10 | 0:18:12 | |
# K-A-N-G-A-R-OO... # | 0:18:12 | 0:18:17 | |
As you see above, floating infatuatingly... | 0:18:34 | 0:18:39 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:18:39 | 0:18:42 | |
..effervescent, that ineffably numinous... | 0:18:42 | 0:18:46 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:18:46 | 0:18:48 | |
..nenuphar nubility. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:51 | |
The one and only, Miss Eira Heath! | 0:18:51 | 0:18:55 | |
# Swing me just a little bit higher | 0:19:03 | 0:19:08 | |
# Obadiah, do | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
# Swing me just a little bit higher | 0:19:12 | 0:19:15 | |
# And I'll love you | 0:19:15 | 0:19:19 | |
# Tie me on and I'll never fall | 0:19:21 | 0:19:25 | |
# Swing me over the garden wall | 0:19:25 | 0:19:29 | |
# Just a little bit higher | 0:19:29 | 0:19:33 | |
# Obadiah, do | 0:19:33 | 0:19:38 | |
# Swing me just a little bit higher | 0:19:38 | 0:19:42 | |
# Obadiah, do | 0:19:42 | 0:19:44 | |
# Swing me just a little bit higher | 0:19:46 | 0:19:50 | |
# And I'll love you | 0:19:50 | 0:19:54 | |
# Tie me on and I'll never fall | 0:19:54 | 0:19:59 | |
# Swing me over the garden wall | 0:19:59 | 0:20:03 | |
# Just a little bit higher | 0:20:03 | 0:20:08 | |
# Obadiah, do. # | 0:20:08 | 0:20:13 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:20:15 | 0:20:17 | |
Now, Albert and his auxiliaries, having eliminated | 0:20:34 | 0:20:39 | |
-the impedimenta of illusion... AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:20:39 | 0:20:43 | |
Once again vociferous transformation, | 0:20:43 | 0:20:47 | |
ever adorable, Miss Eira Heath. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:52 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
# Tommy met Kitty in the subway one day | 0:21:01 | 0:21:05 | |
# Vowed she was sweeter than the flowers in May | 0:21:05 | 0:21:09 | |
# He soon found out that pretty Kitty went every day up to the city | 0:21:09 | 0:21:16 | |
# She was engaged to answer telephone calls | 0:21:16 | 0:21:20 | |
# And when rung up one day | 0:21:20 | 0:21:24 | |
# As she cried, "Hello!" through the telephone | 0:21:24 | 0:21:28 | |
# She heard her new boy say | 0:21:28 | 0:21:32 | |
# Kitty, Kitty, isn't it a pity in the city you work so hard | 0:21:34 | 0:21:41 | |
# With your one, two, three, four, five | 0:21:41 | 0:21:46 | |
# Or six, seven, eight... | 0:21:46 | 0:21:50 | |
# Kitty, Kitty, isn't it a pity that you're wasting so much time | 0:21:50 | 0:21:57 | |
# With your lips close to the telephone | 0:21:58 | 0:22:02 | |
# When they might be close to mine? | 0:22:02 | 0:22:07 | |
# Kitty said you are far too forward I fear | 0:22:07 | 0:22:11 | |
# You must remember I'm on business here | 0:22:11 | 0:22:16 | |
# And I'm afraid your conversation | 0:22:16 | 0:22:19 | |
# Sounds like a naughty boy's flirtation | 0:22:19 | 0:22:23 | |
# People will think that we're too long engaged | 0:22:23 | 0:22:28 | |
# How can that be? said he | 0:22:28 | 0:22:32 | |
# I'm not engaged, dear, to anyone but I should like to be | 0:22:32 | 0:22:40 | |
# Kitty, Kitty, isn't it a pity in the city you work so hard | 0:22:41 | 0:22:49 | |
# With your one, two, three, four, five | 0:22:49 | 0:22:53 | |
# Or six, seven, eight... | 0:22:53 | 0:22:58 | |
# Kitty, Kitty, isn't it a pity that you're wasting so much time | 0:22:58 | 0:23:05 | |
# With your lips close to the telephone | 0:23:05 | 0:23:09 | |
# When they might be close to mine? | 0:23:09 | 0:23:14 | |
# With your lips close to the telephone | 0:23:14 | 0:23:19 | |
# When they might be close to mine? # | 0:23:19 | 0:23:27 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:23:27 | 0:23:30 | |
-Ingratiating.... AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:23:43 | 0:23:46 | |
-In gregarious garrulity... AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:23:46 | 0:23:49 | |
Endearing and diminutive dronery, | 0:23:49 | 0:23:53 | |
your own, my own, everybody's own, | 0:23:53 | 0:23:56 | |
Mr Arthur Askey! APPLAUSE | 0:23:56 | 0:23:59 | |
-Hello, playmates! -AUDIENCE: -Hello! | 0:24:13 | 0:24:17 | |
Ay-thang-yaw! | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
# The girl I love is up in the gallery... | 0:24:19 | 0:24:25 | |
# The girl I love has gone to have... | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
# Have her tea. # | 0:24:28 | 0:24:30 | |
Well, anyway, this is where the programme bucks up now, playmates. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:36 | |
I... | 0:24:36 | 0:24:39 | |
-Here and now... -AUDIENCE: -Before your very eyes. | 0:24:39 | 0:24:44 | |
Go and find your own catchphrase. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
Anyway, I'm going to sing a little song I haven't sung for a long time | 0:24:49 | 0:24:52 | |
and it is called The Worm. | 0:24:52 | 0:24:54 | |
# I am a sweet little wriggling worm | 0:25:02 | 0:25:06 | |
# Covered in mud from head to stern | 0:25:06 | 0:25:10 | |
# Passing the time from night till morn | 0:25:10 | 0:25:14 | |
# Leaving little casts in the middle of the lawn | 0:25:14 | 0:25:18 | |
# Just an ordinary little worm | 0:25:18 | 0:25:22 | |
# Squiggy, squiggy, squiggy, squiggy | 0:25:22 | 0:25:24 | |
# Squirm, squirm, squirm | 0:25:24 | 0:25:28 | |
# I am a sweet little wriggling worm | 0:25:34 | 0:25:37 | |
# One of the sort that rarely turn | 0:25:38 | 0:25:42 | |
# I'd rather be out in a storm or a blizzard | 0:25:42 | 0:25:45 | |
# Than filling empty spaces in the blackbird's gizzard | 0:25:45 | 0:25:50 | |
# Just an ordinary little worm | 0:25:50 | 0:25:54 | |
# Squiggy, squiggy, squiggy, squiggy | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
# Squirm, squirm, squirm. # | 0:25:56 | 0:25:59 | |
I told you it was all right. He said, "It's rubbish!" | 0:25:59 | 0:26:02 | |
# I am a sweet little wriggling worm | 0:26:06 | 0:26:10 | |
# Haven't any hair so I don't need a perm | 0:26:10 | 0:26:14 | |
# But one day it will be my fate | 0:26:14 | 0:26:16 | |
# Sitting on the pin as a small boy's bait | 0:26:16 | 0:26:22 | |
# That's the end of every little worm | 0:26:22 | 0:26:26 | |
# Squiggy, squiggy, squiggy, squiggy | 0:26:26 | 0:26:28 | |
# Squirm, squirm, squirm | 0:26:28 | 0:26:31 | |
# Squirm! # | 0:26:31 | 0:26:33 | |
Thank you. See? | 0:26:45 | 0:26:47 | |
Thank you. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:51 | |
That's it, start the silver collection! | 0:26:51 | 0:26:54 | |
Anyway, that's lovely, playmates. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:57 | |
-Do you like the suit? -AUDIENCE: -Yes! | 0:26:57 | 0:26:59 | |
Smart, isn't it? | 0:26:59 | 0:27:00 | |
Well, I was recommended, you see, by a friend of mine. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:03 | |
I went to this tailors and it was a lady. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:06 | |
A lady tailor, yes! | 0:27:06 | 0:27:07 | |
So I started walking out of the shop, she said, | 0:27:07 | 0:27:10 | |
"Oh, don't be silly, come back." I've done a lot of men." | 0:27:10 | 0:27:15 | |
What did you do then? Did you move? | 0:27:15 | 0:27:18 | |
So, anyway, she said, "I'll measure you for your trousers first." | 0:27:18 | 0:27:22 | |
So she got an inch tape and she went round my waist. She said, "32." | 0:27:22 | 0:27:27 | |
Then round the hips. "34" | 0:27:27 | 0:27:30 | |
Then she said, "I'll take the inside leg now. 28." | 0:27:30 | 0:27:34 | |
She said, "I'll measure you for your jacket now." | 0:27:36 | 0:27:38 | |
I said, "To hell with the jacket, I'll have another pair of trousers!" | 0:27:38 | 0:27:42 | |
To conclude this rather amazing and versatile act of mine, I... | 0:27:45 | 0:27:48 | |
I'm going to sing you another of my little songs. | 0:27:48 | 0:27:51 | |
This one I wrote this myself years ago, and it's called The Seagull. | 0:27:51 | 0:27:55 | |
# I'm a silly seagull flying in the sky | 0:28:00 | 0:28:02 | |
# Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever so high | 0:28:02 | 0:28:05 | |
# Two big wings and a large yellow beak | 0:28:05 | 0:28:07 | |
# Feathers on my chassis oh, I do look chic | 0:28:07 | 0:28:10 | |
# Flying very high, flying very low | 0:28:10 | 0:28:12 | |
# You can never catch me Oh, dear, no! | 0:28:12 | 0:28:15 | |
# Happy at the seaside never having words | 0:28:15 | 0:28:18 | |
# Happier in Chelsea with the other birds | 0:28:18 | 0:28:20 | |
# Just a silly seagull, that's all | 0:28:20 | 0:28:22 | |
# Fly away Peter, fly away Paul | 0:28:22 | 0:28:25 | |
# I'm a silly seagull flying in the sky | 0:28:29 | 0:28:31 | |
# Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever so high | 0:28:31 | 0:28:35 | |
# Though I cannot sing like the birdies in the park, | 0:28:35 | 0:28:37 | |
# Don't think I'm a sissy cos I often have a lark | 0:28:37 | 0:28:40 | |
# Flying very high, flying very low, | 0:28:40 | 0:28:42 | |
# You can never catch me Oh, dear, no! | 0:28:42 | 0:28:44 | |
# When the weather's stormy, we have got your skin | 0:28:44 | 0:28:47 | |
# You'll never find a seagull suffer from the wind | 0:28:47 | 0:28:49 | |
# Just a silly seagull, that's all | 0:28:49 | 0:28:52 | |
# Fly away Peter, fly away Fred... | 0:28:52 | 0:28:54 | |
# Paul! | 0:28:54 | 0:28:57 | |
# Just a silly seagull, that's all | 0:28:57 | 0:28:59 | |
# Fly away Peter, fly away Paul. # | 0:28:59 | 0:29:05 | |
I shan't apologise for introducing my next performer, | 0:29:24 | 0:29:28 | |
although by the time she's finished you might think I should have. | 0:29:28 | 0:29:32 | |
I have been persuaded by her mother, Lady Wellington Boot... | 0:29:32 | 0:29:37 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:29:37 | 0:29:39 | |
Suffice to say, ladies and gentleman, | 0:29:39 | 0:29:41 | |
I am going to introduce a performer | 0:29:41 | 0:29:43 | |
who has never before appeared in public, | 0:29:43 | 0:29:45 | |
given a performance in public, and I give you... | 0:29:45 | 0:29:47 | |
For your astonishment, ladies and gentlemen, | 0:29:47 | 0:29:50 | |
I give you the Honourable E... | 0:29:50 | 0:29:53 | |
Miss E Wellington Boot. | 0:29:53 | 0:29:55 | |
# My name's Emmeline | 0:30:56 | 0:30:58 | |
# And I've a great surprise for you | 0:30:59 | 0:31:03 | |
# I bet you think I'm 31 | 0:31:08 | 0:31:11 | |
# I'm not, I'm 32 | 0:31:13 | 0:31:16 | |
# And yesterday I said, "Mamma... | 0:31:27 | 0:31:30 | |
# "Why can't I have a beau?" | 0:31:31 | 0:31:33 | |
# She said, "My pet Oh, no, not yet | 0:31:33 | 0:31:38 | |
# "Cos you're too young, you know" | 0:31:39 | 0:31:41 | |
# I'm a little too young to know, you know | 0:31:47 | 0:31:50 | |
# I'm a little too young to know | 0:31:54 | 0:31:56 | |
# Some day I'll be older when I'm a bit bolder | 0:31:59 | 0:32:03 | |
# But now I'm too young to know | 0:32:03 | 0:32:05 | |
# The other day I asked Mamma because Mamma knows best | 0:32:08 | 0:32:12 | |
# Why other girls have bosoms and I've only got a chest | 0:32:12 | 0:32:16 | |
# "Some girls develop fast," she said | 0:32:29 | 0:32:33 | |
# "And some develop slow" | 0:32:33 | 0:32:35 | |
# But cousin Dan says great oaks can from little acorns grow | 0:32:35 | 0:32:40 | |
# I hope so | 0:32:42 | 0:32:44 | |
# I'm a little too young to know, you know | 0:32:47 | 0:32:50 | |
# I'm a little too young to know | 0:32:53 | 0:32:55 | |
# Some day I'll be bolder when I'm a bit older | 0:32:58 | 0:33:02 | |
# But now I'm too young to know | 0:33:02 | 0:33:04 | |
Come here! | 0:33:12 | 0:33:14 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:33:15 | 0:33:17 | |
# Mamma says that although I'm plain my hands and feet are nice | 0:33:43 | 0:33:49 | |
# To use them to advantage I asked Uncle Bill's advice | 0:33:49 | 0:33:55 | |
# "Keep both your hands above your waist | 0:33:55 | 0:33:58 | |
# "And both your feet below | 0:33:58 | 0:34:01 | |
# "And when you can, do use your fan | 0:34:06 | 0:34:10 | |
# "And let your assets show" | 0:34:10 | 0:34:14 | |
# I'm a little too young to know, you know | 0:34:16 | 0:34:19 | |
# I'm a little too young to know | 0:34:21 | 0:34:24 | |
# Someday I'll be bolder when I'm a bit older | 0:34:30 | 0:34:33 | |
# But now I'm too young to know | 0:34:33 | 0:34:36 | |
# I'm a little too young to know, you know | 0:34:36 | 0:34:39 | |
# I'm a little too young to know | 0:34:42 | 0:34:44 | |
# You wait till I'm 40 | 0:34:52 | 0:34:55 | |
# I'm going to be naughty. # | 0:34:57 | 0:34:59 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:35:01 | 0:35:03 | |
Well, I do hope I haven't started something. | 0:35:20 | 0:35:24 | |
That was of course Miss Sheila Steafel. | 0:35:24 | 0:35:26 | |
-And, now, corybantically coordinating... AUDIENCE: -Ooh! | 0:35:26 | 0:35:30 | |
..in a Cockney Cantata, | 0:35:31 | 0:35:35 | |
we give you the Players' Theatre and gorgeous Georgia Brown! | 0:35:35 | 0:35:41 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:35:41 | 0:35:43 | |
# Wotcha! | 0:35:45 | 0:35:47 | |
# "Wotcha!" All the neighbours cried | 0:35:47 | 0:35:50 | |
# "Who're you goin' to meet, Bill? Have yer bought the street, Bill?" | 0:35:50 | 0:35:54 | |
# Laugh, I thought I should 'ave died | 0:35:54 | 0:35:56 | |
# Knocked 'em in the Old Kent Road | 0:35:56 | 0:36:00 | |
# Last night down our alley comes a toff | 0:36:00 | 0:36:03 | |
# Nice old geezer with a nasty cough | 0:36:03 | 0:36:06 | |
# Sees me and he takes his topper off | 0:36:06 | 0:36:09 | |
# In a very gentlemanly way | 0:36:09 | 0:36:12 | |
# "Ma'am," says he, "I've got some news to tell | 0:36:12 | 0:36:16 | |
# "Your old Uncle Tom from Camberwell | 0:36:16 | 0:36:19 | |
# "Popped off recent," which is sad to tell | 0:36:19 | 0:36:21 | |
# "Leaving you his little donkey shay." | 0:36:21 | 0:36:23 | |
# Horse and cart | 0:36:23 | 0:36:25 | |
# "Wotcha!" all the neighbours cried "Who're goin' to meet, Bill? | 0:36:25 | 0:36:29 | |
# "Think you've bought the street, Bill?" | 0:36:29 | 0:36:31 | |
# Laugh, I thought I should 'ave died | 0:36:31 | 0:36:34 | |
# Knocked 'em in the Old Kent Road | 0:36:34 | 0:36:36 | |
# I'm a... | 0:36:40 | 0:36:44 | |
# Chickaleary bloke with me one, two, three | 0:36:44 | 0:36:47 | |
# Whitechapel is the village I was born in | 0:36:47 | 0:36:50 | |
# And to catch me on the 'op All my little games will stop | 0:36:50 | 0:36:53 | |
# You'll have to get up very early in the morning | 0:36:53 | 0:36:56 | |
# You'll have to get up very early | 0:36:56 | 0:37:00 | |
# In the morning | 0:37:00 | 0:37:03 | |
# Underneath the gas light's glitter | 0:37:13 | 0:37:17 | |
# Sits a little, mournful girl | 0:37:19 | 0:37:23 | |
# Heedless of the night winds bitter | 0:37:25 | 0:37:29 | |
# That around about her whirl | 0:37:31 | 0:37:35 | |
# Though the hundreds pass unheeded | 0:37:37 | 0:37:42 | |
# In the evening's waning hours | 0:37:43 | 0:37:48 | |
# Still she cries with voice so pleading | 0:37:50 | 0:37:54 | |
# Won't you buy my pretty flowers | 0:37:56 | 0:38:01 | |
# There are hundreds sad and weary | 0:38:03 | 0:38:08 | |
# In this precious land of ours | 0:38:09 | 0:38:15 | |
# Crying every night so dreary | 0:38:17 | 0:38:22 | |
# Won't you buy my pretty flowers? | 0:38:25 | 0:38:28 | |
# Won't you buy my flowers? | 0:38:30 | 0:38:32 | |
# My lovely flowers | 0:38:34 | 0:38:36 | |
# Won't you buy my lovely flowers? | 0:38:38 | 0:38:40 | |
# I never was a one to go and stint myself | 0:38:43 | 0:38:48 | |
# Now if I likes a thing I likes it That's enough | 0:38:48 | 0:38:53 | |
# And there's lots of people say that when you likes a thing a lot | 0:38:53 | 0:38:57 | |
# It'll grow on you and all that sort of stuff | 0:38:57 | 0:39:01 | |
# Well, I likes my drop of beer as well as anyone | 0:39:01 | 0:39:06 | |
# But a drop of beer's supposed to make you fat | 0:39:06 | 0:39:10 | |
# And there's many a la-dee-da-dee madam doesn't dare to touch it | 0:39:10 | 0:39:16 | |
# Cos she mustn't spoil her figure Silly cat | 0:39:16 | 0:39:23 | |
# I always hold with having it if you fancies it | 0:39:23 | 0:39:29 | |
# If you fancies it That's understood | 0:39:29 | 0:39:32 | |
# And suppose it makes you fat? | 0:39:32 | 0:39:34 | |
# I don't worry over that | 0:39:34 | 0:39:37 | |
# Cos a little of what you fancy does you good... # | 0:39:37 | 0:39:40 | |
Altogether! | 0:39:40 | 0:39:42 | |
# I always hold with having it if you fancies it | 0:39:42 | 0:39:45 | |
# If you fancies it That's understood | 0:39:45 | 0:39:49 | |
# Now suppose it makes you fat? I don't worry over that | 0:39:49 | 0:39:52 | |
# Cos a little of what you fancy does you good. # | 0:39:52 | 0:39:56 | |
Here's my favourite. Here we go, darling. | 0:39:56 | 0:39:58 | |
I got to tell you about this little adventure... Do you like my birdie? | 0:39:58 | 0:40:00 | |
-AUDIENCE: -Yes. -Don't eat much and half sing! | 0:40:00 | 0:40:04 | |
Here we go. | 0:40:04 | 0:40:07 | |
# I had to move away Cos the rent we couldn't pay | 0:40:07 | 0:40:10 | |
# The moving van came round just after dark | 0:40:10 | 0:40:13 | |
# There was me and my old man Shoving things inside a van | 0:40:13 | 0:40:16 | |
# Which we'd often done before, let me remark | 0:40:16 | 0:40:19 | |
# We packed all that could be packed On the van and that's a fact | 0:40:19 | 0:40:22 | |
# And we got inside all we could get inside | 0:40:22 | 0:40:26 | |
# Then we packed what could be packed | 0:40:26 | 0:40:27 | |
# On the tail board at the back | 0:40:27 | 0:40:29 | |
# Till there wasn't any room for me to ride | 0:40:29 | 0:40:33 | |
# And my old man said "Follow the van | 0:40:33 | 0:40:37 | |
# "And don't dilly-dally on the way" | 0:40:37 | 0:40:40 | |
# Off went the van with my home in it | 0:40:40 | 0:40:43 | |
# I followed on with me old cock linnet | 0:40:43 | 0:40:46 | |
# I dillied, I dallied Dallied and I dillied | 0:40:46 | 0:40:49 | |
# Lost me way, don't know where to go | 0:40:49 | 0:40:52 | |
# Now, who's going to put up the old iron bedstead | 0:40:52 | 0:40:56 | |
# If I can't find my way home? # | 0:40:56 | 0:40:59 | |
'Ere. The story gets sadder. | 0:40:59 | 0:41:01 | |
And I've lost me breath and I've got to sit down. | 0:41:01 | 0:41:04 | |
Oh, it's my back, you see. | 0:41:04 | 0:41:06 | |
It gives me something terrible. | 0:41:06 | 0:41:08 | |
# Now, I thought I'd give a hand With the marble washing stand | 0:41:08 | 0:41:14 | |
# And straight we wasn't getting on so bad | 0:41:14 | 0:41:18 | |
# But all at once the driver bloke has an accident and broke | 0:41:18 | 0:41:23 | |
# The nicest bit of china that we had | 0:41:23 | 0:41:26 | |
# Well, I got really mad | 0:41:28 | 0:41:31 | |
# And I come over really bad | 0:41:31 | 0:41:33 | |
# Just as any other human woman would | 0:41:34 | 0:41:37 | |
# But I soon got over that | 0:41:37 | 0:41:40 | |
# What with two-out and a chat | 0:41:40 | 0:41:42 | |
# Cos it's little things like that what does you good | 0:41:42 | 0:41:47 | |
# My old man says "Follow the van | 0:41:47 | 0:41:50 | |
# "And don't dilly-dally on the way" | 0:41:50 | 0:41:53 | |
# Off went the van with my home in it | 0:41:53 | 0:41:57 | |
# I followed on with my old cock linnet | 0:41:57 | 0:42:00 | |
# I dillied, I dallied Dallied and I dillied | 0:42:00 | 0:42:03 | |
# Lost the way and don't know where to go | 0:42:03 | 0:42:06 | |
# Well, you can't trust a special when you've got a reputation | 0:42:06 | 0:42:09 | |
# And you can't find your way home. # | 0:42:09 | 0:42:11 | |
One more time! | 0:42:11 | 0:42:13 | |
# My old man says follow the van | 0:42:13 | 0:42:15 | |
# And don't dilly-dally on the way Yes, he did! | 0:42:15 | 0:42:19 | |
# Off went the van with my home in it | 0:42:19 | 0:42:22 | |
# I followed on with my old cock linnet | 0:42:22 | 0:42:25 | |
-# I dillied and I dallied -I dillied, I dallied | 0:42:25 | 0:42:27 | |
-# I dallied and I dillied -I dallied and I dillied | 0:42:27 | 0:42:28 | |
# Lost they way and don't know where to roam | 0:42:28 | 0:42:31 | |
# You can't trust a special like the old time coppers | 0:42:31 | 0:42:34 | |
# When you can't find your way home | 0:42:34 | 0:42:37 | |
# No, you can't trust a special when you've got a reputation | 0:42:37 | 0:42:41 | |
# And you can't find your way | 0:42:41 | 0:42:43 | |
# Going my way | 0:42:43 | 0:42:44 | |
# Can't find my way home. # | 0:42:44 | 0:42:50 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:42:51 | 0:42:54 | |
Now, ladies and gentlemen, there's only just time | 0:43:03 | 0:43:05 | |
for the last chorus, Down At The Old Bull And Bush. | 0:43:05 | 0:43:07 | |
We give you Miss Georgia Brown, Mr Arthur Askey, the entire company. | 0:43:07 | 0:43:11 | |
We give you Mr Herrmann Berman... LAUGHTER | 0:43:11 | 0:43:14 | |
..and his inexhaustible orchestra. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:43:16 | 0:43:18 | |
-But, this time, chiefly... ALL: -..yourselves! | 0:43:22 | 0:43:28 | |
# Come, come, come and make eyes at me | 0:43:31 | 0:43:35 | |
# Down at the old Bull and Bush La-la-la-la-la | 0:43:35 | 0:43:39 | |
# Come, come, drink some port wine with me | 0:43:39 | 0:43:43 | |
# Down at the old Bull and Bush | 0:43:43 | 0:43:45 | |
# Hear the little piano band La-la-la-la-la-la-la | 0:43:47 | 0:43:50 | |
# Down at the old Bull and Bush | 0:43:50 | 0:43:53 | |
# Come, come, come and have a drink or two | 0:43:53 | 0:43:57 | |
# Down at the old Bull and Bush | 0:43:57 | 0:44:01 | |
# Bush-bush. # | 0:44:01 | 0:44:03 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:44:03 | 0:44:05 |