Episode 10 Antiques Road Trip

It's the nation's favourite antiques experts...

-What a job!

-..with £200 each.

-Are you with me?

-..a classic car...

-Buckle up.

-..and a goal - to scour Britain for antiques.

-Ooh, sorry!

-Ha-ha!

The aim? To make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no mean feat.

-There'll be worthy winners...

-Yes!

-..and valiant losers.

So, will it be the high road to glory

or the slow road to disaster?

Have a good trip!

This is the Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

For the last time on this trip,

our proper Charlie and his darling are cavorting around Caledonia

in the 1972 Triumph Stag, and it's been a bumpy ride.

-I feel a bit of a flop.

-Oh, no, Charlie!

-Oh, I do!

Never, never, never, never...

I haven't quite taken any dizzy heights,

so I hope to make this leg end my legend.

Of a last day of a last shop, can I be your leg end?

Yes! They're both on their last legs. Ha!

And Charles needs to get back on his feet again

after a small loss last time.

He starts out today with £245.72 in his piggy...

..while Anita is standing her ground,

leading this time with a budget of £349.32.

Right, let's get moving!

If I was to say to you, "Are you a twister or a sticker?"

I think you'll say...

# Let's twist again like we did last summer. #

Come on, give me a twist, Anita. Come on, give me a twist.

-BOTH:

-# Let's twist again... #

-Come on. It's the last time, Anita.

-# Like we did last summer

# Like we did last summer... #

THEY LAUGH

Charles and Anita have twisted their way from Kilbarchan,

through Scotland and the Lakes,

heading for a final auction in North Shields.

Hello, horses. Give me some hay.

Before saying hello to North Shields,

they're off to Dundee, birthplace of Desperate Dan

and the desperate poetry of William McGonagall,

who famously lamented the collapse of the ill-fated bridge

of the silvery Tay in 1879.

Anita is dropping Charles off in the rain at his first shop...

-Bye.

-..Clepington Antiques and Collectables,

presided over by Rosie. Hi, Rosie.

It's wet and there is so much stuff to see.

So, get looking.

How do you fancy some Australian

express gift food parcels plum pudding?

And this plum pudding is "to serve right now",

but I suspect this plum pudding went off a long time ago.

In fact, I think that's a 1950s tin of plums

with the original contents inside. It's amazing.

Well, that's lunch sorted, then.

-Anything else tasty?

-"Mechanical toy gramophone."

Here, you've got this beautifully well-preserved case...

..and inside... Wow!

..are the original contents of the gramophone player

and various records. There we go.

This toy record player was made in Swansea in the early 1960s

by American toy manufacturer Louis Marx & Co. A possible?

Let's leave our 78 thinking about that

and find out what's singing to Anita this morning.

Her first port of call is 12 miles upriver

at the village of Abernyte, and she's bound for

the Scottish Antique & Arts Centre.

Gosh, you could get lost in here.

Keep your eyes peeled. You never know what's round the corner.

Does that remind you of anyone?

-His name's Charlie.

-And he speaks so highly of you.

Right, something has caught her eye,

and dealer Stephen is on hand to help.

-Down here.

-OK.

-And you can maybe open it up for me.

-Certainly.

-OK, thank you very much.

-There we are. Thank you.

I love these Art Deco figures.

-She looks a bit like a windmill girl.

-She does, yeah.

But I think she might possibly be French.

Now, there is a price on it of £85.

What is the very best that you can do?

-The best on that would be 77.

-77.

-Yeah.

-Is that the very, very best?

-The best we'd do, yeah.

-I'm going to take it.

-Oh. Well, thank you very much.

Thank you very much. That's terrific. Could you put that behind the counter?

-Because I'm going to keep on looking.

-OK. Thank you. Will do.

Neat footwork, Anita.

Now, back in Dundee, Charles seems to be stuck on that record player,

and has summoned Rosie.

-HE SINGS ALONG TO GRAMOPHONE

-You're so cool.

-Isn't that wonderful?

-That's amazing.

-And that's it.

What I like about it, Rosie, is it's so vibrant.

It is all complete.

-I love it.

-OK.

-To a humble man of a modern age...

-Mm-hm.

-..how much could this be?

Well, we've got this priced at 50. Erm, I could bring it down.

-40?

-30.

-OK.

-It's your call.

How about if we say 35?

I like it, and I think, from my jazz hands to yours,

-there we go. Give me your hand.

-Oh.

-Give me your hand.

-I'm going to turn you around. There you go.

-Oh, wow!

-I'll take it.

-Oh, deal!

-Sold!

-Thank you very much. I love it.

-Good.

-It's got history. Play me out.

See you later! Bye! Bye!

Away he goes, pocket lightened to the tune of £35.

Meanwhile, what's catching our magpie's beady eye?

Ooh la la. I like this.

It's an opalescent bowl,

and it's very much in the style and manner of Rene Lalique.

This would have been made in the early 1900s.

The pattern is geometric.

It's 100 miles away from the fussiness of Victorian decoration,

and we can see on the back that it was made in France.

It's priced up at £48.

Now, if I can get a little bit off of that,

I think I could make a small profit in the North Shields auction.

You do that.

Stephen, I've fallen in love with this French Art Deco bowl.

Has a bit of style, has a bit of ooh la la.

-Bit like yourself.

-SHE LAUGHS

It's priced at £48. What's the best you can do for me?

-The best would be £43.

-That's absolutely fine with me.

-Lovely.

-What's my total for both of these?

Right, so, 43, and we said 77, so £120.

Lovely. Lovely. I'm happy at that.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you. Bye-bye.

Two for the Auld Alliance. Vive la France!

Meanwhile, Charles is on his way north,

where the Angus Glens wind into the great mountain ranges beyond.

He's bound for Kirriemuir,

a town proud of its most famous son, JM Barrie, author of Peter Pan.

But we're not on the trail of Lost Boys today.

Charles is following the footsteps of another local hero,

whose name lives in the very landscape of Scotland,

mountaineer Sir Hugh Munro.

Charles is meeting Stewart Logan, he president of the Munro Society,

-to hear his story.

-Come on in with me.

-Thank you.

Hugh Munro was born in London in 1856,

but was brought up on the family estate near Kirriemuir,

where his lifelong love of the Scottish hills began.

He was a founder member

of the Scottish Mountaineering Club in 1889.

-Right.

-And one of the first things the club decided was

they would get a formal list of the Scottish hills over 3,000ft.

And because Hugh Munro, earlier in the century,

and up to that point,

had climbed many of these Scottish hills himself,

they reckoned he was the ideal person with the knowledge

to start listing the hills. He did an extremely accurate job.

How did he do that?

He made extensive use of maps, which were around,

but not nearly as accurate as the ones today,

and he used an aneroid barometer.

And that is a device where,

if you set the height at a known height

and then go up a mountain to the top,

the change in pressure is recorded by the aneroid barometer,

and that gives you the height of the top of the mountain

relative to where you set it down at the base.

-How many Munros are there?

-He listed 283.

The figure now is 282,

which sounds as though, "Oh, he was accurate within one hill,"

but, in fact, there have been a few adjustments

because of new maps.

Many Scottish mountains are far from any roads,

and unpredictable weather can make them treacherous,

but Munro took just two years to produce his list,

and the tables were published in 1891.

His list is now really the Bible

for people climbing the Scottish hills.

Surprisingly, before the Second World War,

only eight people had finished his list.

When I finished, in 1981,

about 300 people had recorded as having finished them.

It is now 6,500.

Sir Hugh himself climbed all but two of the Munros,

as they came to be known,

but Stewart has bagged all 282 of them, ten times.

He has a very precious and personal possession of Sir Hugh's.

Does that mean anything to you?

It looks to be a small pocket aneroid barometer.

It is Monro's aneroid barometer.

This is the one that he measured all the hills with.

-It's amazing.

-It really is quite amazing to handle this.

All the Scottish Munros can be bagged by walkers except one -

the Inaccessible Pinnacle on the Isle of Skye.

It requires rock climbing skills,

and which Munro himself never climbed.

To give Charles a taste of Munro bagging,

Stewart has arranged for a trip to a local quarry

with instructor Graeme Morrison.

-OK, wish me luck.

-Good luck, Charles.

-I'm going up.

-OK, now get your right hand in there.

-Yeah.

-Good.

Now bring your right foot to your left foot on the same ledge for me.

-That's it.

-Ah! Pathetic, aren't I?

-No, you're not. It's hard.

It's so embarrassing. I can't get off the ground!

It's terrible. Can I start higher up?

-Come on! You can do it!

-HE LAUGHS

-Come on, Stewart! I can't hear you!

-On you go, on you go!

What would Munro have said?

"I think he should just stick to antiques."

-HE LAUGHS

-There. Ooh.

-I can't. Sorry, guys.

I can't beat the Scottish rock face.

The Englishman clearly has come back down to earth.

What do you mean you've come down to earth?

-You never left it!

-THEY LAUGH

Listen, how much is your sporran? How much is it?

-How much is it?

-What would you take for it?

-How much?

-You don't want it. I mean, this is a tatty old thing.

-You can buy a perfectly good one.

-Yeah, but it's got your pedigree.

-OK, I'll give you a tenner for it.

-If you're desperate for it.

-I will happily. Are you sure?

-Yes.

I haven't conquered the rock face, but I'm very, very delighted

if I can go away wearing your sporran.

-And the kilt, as well?

-You're not having that!

Certainly not.

-Where's my tenner, then?

-There you go.

-I'm very grateful, Stewart.

-OK.

-Thanks a lot.

-Right, OK.

Well, that's one of the cheekiest deals

we've ever seen on the Antiques Road Trip.

I'm glad Stewart was at least left with his kilt!

So, what's Anita got to say?

Charlie's nuts. He's just a marvellous guy.

A marvellous guy.

You likened him to a crocodile earlier this morning.

Now, Anita's headed further up the Tay to the village of Rait,

where she'll be hoping to pick up something precious at her next shop,

a lovely former farm now housing Rait Antique Centre.

-Hi, Val.

-Good to see you.

This looks absolutely fabulous in here.

-Well, there's something for everybody.

-There is.

Take your time and have a good look round.

I'm going to enjoy myself.

Time to cast her eyes over the wares.

Ha-ha-ha! Look, shiny things.

I've been drawn to the sparkly cabinets,

and this ring has caught my eye.

It's Art Deco style,

and it's the type of ring, or the style of ring,

which may have been worn by a gal like my little Art Deco figure.

It's unfortunately not a diamond.

If it was a diamond, it would be worth a lot of money,

but it's got the look.

It's priced at £39.

Now, yes, it doesn't have precious stones in it,

but it has the look,

and I think a stylish lady at the North Shields auction

might fancy that for herself.

-I quite like this ring. It's priced at £39.

-Mm-hm.

-Is there anything you can do on that?

-Erm, I could do 35.

-35?

-Yeah.

-I'm going to take it.

-OK.

-That's terrific.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you very much.

Now, if you could find a wee box for it, it would be fabulous.

-Let's do that.

-If we can put that over there,

I want to continue looking.

-OK?

-Fabulous. OK.

Yes, what might madame fancy next?

This box contains a lovely set comprising a silver paper knife

with pink marble handle and a little seal - again, silver.

On the end of the seal, we have initials.

And, again, with that lovely pink marble.

It's in its original box

with the retailer's address there, and I like to see that.

On the label, it says that it's circa 1860.

Now, is this of any use in today's world?

I don't know. Probably not,

but it's a beautiful item, and it's a thing of quality.

Val, I've found something that I've fallen in love with.

It's priced at £195.

-Now, that would completely blow my budget.

-Right.

-What can you do for me on that?

-We could do it for 160.

I'm going to shake your hand before you change your mind.

So, for my two items, what is my total?

Well, the ring was 39, which we'll reduce to 35.

160. It would be 195 in total.

195. I'm spending money today.

-Right.

-THEY LAUGH

-95.

-That's brilliant, thank you.

Having parted with £315 in two shops,

it's time for Anita to collect Charles and call it a day.

I almost could do with an orange.

-An orange, Charles? What are you talking about?

-Yeah, yeah. Not a juice, an orange.

It's like half-time, and I need an orange to chew

and to think about my performance today.

It's been a good day.

Yes, tomorrow's another day.

Before it's all gone with the wind, nighty-night.

Going, going, going...gone!

The sun has got his hat on.

So do our two dashing experts,

duly rejuvenated this morning by the North Sea air

and ready to seize a last chance to make a splash at auction.

You're still looking for that biggie, Charlie, aren't you?

-They call me Hanson the Hunter.

-SHE LAUGHS

Anita, you are the hunted. I hunted you down again.

But now it's my time to become the hunter.

-Well, good luck to you, Charlie.

-Thanks, Anita.

He definitely needs it. Yesterday, Charles got in the groove

with a vintage toy record player,

before some jiggery-pokery with a sporran.

-I'll give you a tenner for it.

-And he starts today with £200.72.

Dear, oh, dear.

While Anita came over all Francophile

-with an opalescent bowl...

-Ooh la la!

..an Art Deco figurine, a gem-set ring,

and a tres cher French silver and marble paper knife and seal,

leaving her a petite £34.32.

But it's a new day and we're off to Aberdeen,

and the impressive granite pinnacles of Marischal College

are glinting in the sunshine.

The city's motto, Bon Accord, is French for good agreement.

Hopefully, we'll be seeing a few of those in our antiques shops today.

First, though, Charles is dropping Anita at Aberdeen Beach.

-Oh, Charlie!

-Look at that!

Well, have a good day, and bye, bye, bye, Charlie.

While Charles shoots off in the Stag to start his shopping,

Anita's navigating her way to Aberdeen Maritime Museum

on Shiprow, near the city's harbour,

to hear about a 19th-century seafaring local

who made big waves in Japan.

-Hello.

-Jason Finch has the story of Thomas Blake Glover,

the man they call the Scottish Samurai.

Jason, what was his background?

He's an Aberdeenshire-born man, born in Fraserburgh.

He's a merchant. He's an entrepreneur.

He goes out to Japan,

he introduces a whole new range of technologies out there.

He helps create the modern Japan we know today.

Thomas Blake Glover was employed by a Scottish merchant firm

and sailed to the Far East as a tea trader, aged 18, in 1857.

Just four years later, he was running his own company in Nagasaki,

in a society far removed

from the one he'd left behind in Aberdeenshire.

Japan had been closed for about 200 years.

When Glover arrives, it's just starting to open up

to the rest of the world, but it would be very much

what Thomas would have considered to be a medieval society.

From 1641, the military dictatorship of the shoguns

prohibited contact with most foreign countries

in order to secure their own cultural,

political and economic power.

Negotiating this Japanese society was a risky business.

Blake Glover learned Japanese and befriended the fearsome samurai

of powerful clans like the Satsuma,

who were keen to overthrow the old order.

-He was playing a very dangerous game.

-Definitely.

He becomes involved in their revolution.

They trust him. They respect him.

He puts himself on the line for them.

They honour that, they respect that,

and that's why he becomes known as the Scottish Samurai.

Blake Glover helped arm the rebels, and in 1868,

when the military rule of the shogun was overthrown,

he set about working with the new regime

on a programme of modernisation.

If you look out the window behind us,

you will see Aberdeen Harbour.

Back in Thomas's time, this was a ship building centre,

and he had a whole series of vessels built for the Japanese -

warships and merchant ships.

He was also involved in introducing other technologies

and industries to Japan.

He helped get the first coalmine going in Japan.

He also helped set up Kirin,

the first successful Western-style brewery in Japan.

And he was happy in Japan because he made his home there.

Thomas Blake Glover lived the rest of his life in Japan,

introducing railways and co-founding the Mitsubishi company.

In 1908, he was awarded the Order of the Rising Sun,

acknowledged as a key figure in the speed and scale

of Japan's industrial revolution.

I think you can say he created the modern Japan we know today.

Many Japanese tourists come to Scotland

because it's where Thomas Blake Glover came from.

They want to visit his homeland.

-They're making a pilgrimage.

-Exactly.

Jason, it has been a fascinating story.

-Thank you so much for sharing it with me.

-It's been a pleasure.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Time to follow Charles now,

as he makes his way ten miles north to Newmachar.

I like to believe

in the sapphire-jewelled seas and the glint of gold up above.

It certainly sets up that feeling that treasure is lurking.

And who knows what might well be lurking inside his first shop today,

the poetically named Collecting The World?

-How are you?

-Good to meet you, Charles.

-Your name, sir, is...?

-Brian.

Brian, what a lovely, traditional shop you've got here.

Has much been washed in by the waves?

Any buried treasure which could be Pirate Hanson's?

Well, a couple of things. I don't know if you're a gambler.

-I'm a gambler.

-Greyhound racing.

-Oh, amazing.

-Just a wee quirky game.

Isn't that lovely? Of course, actually, greyhound racing

in and around Geordie land, that might go down quite well.

-How much is it, out of interest, Brian?

-20, 25.

If it's of interest, yours for 15.

Wow. I'll tell you what, you're warming me up,

-so I'll mental-note that.

-Yeah, have a think about that one.

-I'll put the lid back on.

-Yeah, sure.

-I'm almost out of the block.

I'm a greyhound, and I feel here, I'm at the races.

Get on with the search then, speedy.

-Brian?

-What have you found, Charles?

I think you've put down here very good quality

hand-carved nutcrackers,

and I would have thought...

What are they made of, do you know?

No. I wondered maybe a lime wood of some kind.

-So, fruit wood.

-Fruit wood, yeah.

So, I think it's probably an apple wood or a pear wood,

and hence their likeness to treen collectors,

which is that generic term for wooden works of art.

I think it's got an appeal. How old are they, do you think?

Well, that's what I'm not sure of.

I think they're either late 19th or early 20th, I would say.

-How much could that be?

-The price is the price.

If it's 20 or less... So, Charles, it's 18.

-£18 is the bottom?

-Yeah, I would say so.

-Fine.

"Give us a kiss, though." Sorry.

I'll take it, Brian. I'll say going, going, gone.

-Good stuff.

-Thanks, Brian. Take it over there.

Cheers. Thanks, lad.

One down!

Very good, but winning will still be a hard nut to crack.

What I love up here are these football figures.

As Anita might say, "They're wee bonny lads, aren't they?"

Oh, yes, she'd like them.

Anything footballing, collectable, prewar,

is sought after, and I think they're probably 1920s.

Yeah, I wondered about maybe even pre-First World War

-or just post, yeah.

-How much could they be?

-I'd need £90 for them.

-Would you really?

-Yeah, yeah.

-For the pair?

-Yeah.

And that's... I mean, they could fly, couldn't they?

-On the top deck.

-Yeah.

Playing a 4-4-2. Thanks, but I'll keep on wandering, thanks.

Yes, there may be cash in that attic.

Oh, wow.

It's a big old room.

I'm looking for a smaller camera,

which might have the echoes of Paul Laidlaw,

and the riches of antique finds.

And long live Paul Laidlaw.

Catch him if you can, Charles. Now, time and tide wait for no man.

-Can we pull out the greyhound racing game again?

-Sure.

So, I think, for £15, it's fun, it's fairly complete.

-I'll take it. £15 for that one, as well.

-Good.

-OK?

Now, is there one more item here I'd like to buy, Brian?

I think, at £90, I shall take those two figures and have a go.

-Good.

-Thank you.

-Good stuff.

Great. So, what's the final score?

18, 15 and 90, which comes to 123.

Here we go.

-Good stuff. Cheers. All the best.

-Bye-bye.

All right, boy. How you doing? Away the lads.

Look, Anita can go in the back, OK? You can sit in the front with me.

Away the lads, indeed.

Let's see if they can top the league at auction.

Meanwhile, Anita has made her way further northwards,

through rural Aberdeenshire, to Ellon,

on the banks of the River Ythan.

And Ellon Indoor Market is the last shop of this trip.

SHE PLAYS BADLY

A piano is clearly not her forte.

As well as antiques, this store sells all manner of household goods,

hardware and pet supplies.

Ah, worms!

Never mind. There'll be a wee scone for you soon,

but you have to buy something first.

Hark, is that the sound of a Stag?

HE HUMS Crikey!

He's a big kid, really, you know.

And without further ado, he's roped in a grown-up.

What have we got, Kerry? I'm in my 11th hour.

I love that sort of thing.

-What are they?

-I have no idea. We've never had them in before.

I thought they were footstools, but I don't know.

-They're for praying, aren't they?

-For kneeling?

-You might kneel.

-So, basically, I'll show you.

-Are you going to kneel?

Have a kneel. So, what you do,

when the going gets tough - come round here -

on the Antiques Road Trip, you kneel down like that.

-I might not be able to get back up again.

-And you pray for one man.

-OK.

-OK, who do you pray for?

-You!

-SHE LAUGHS

-Pray for Hanson, OK?

-Pray for Hanson.

We pray, at the 11th hour, that I can find something amazing in here.

Yes, we'll pray for that.

And I can light up and illuminate the room and make some money.

-OK? Because somewhere, Miss Manning is about, OK?

-Yes.

Hello.

I was praying, praying for the week we've had, the enjoyment.

You're on your knees to another woman, Charlie.

Sorry, Anita. It's been a wonderful week.

-You're a Lothario!

-THEY LAUGH

I've had a wonderful week, Anita, with you, but time moves on.

-Don't listen to a word he says.

-OK.

-He's a blether.

-OK. OK.

-What's that? What's a bletherer?

A blether is one who talks a lot without making much sense. Hm.

OK then, moving on.

-Let me see that green box, please.

-I'll let you open those.

Well, I know that the military guys are always looking out for buttons,

you know, on uniforms that the buttons are missing.

And we seem to have really quite a quantity there.

I wonder what regiment these came from.

From Birmingham, and it's a name I'm not familiar with.

-It is a nice little group.

-Yeah.

It's priced at £22...

..which might be a wee bit dear for me to put into auction at.

Erm, can you do a bit better on that for me, Danny?

-How about 18?

-18?

-That's not bad, but I'll tell you, 15 would be even better.

-Erm...

-How about 16?

-16? Put it there.

-Happy?

-Yeah.

Meet in the middle. Thank you so much.

I haven't got much money left.

And with those military buttons,

Anita is marching to the end of this trip's manoeuvres.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

-Bye-bye.

-Thanks.

But is Private Hanson keeping up?

This is a really interesting chair.

I don't know where it's from.

Could be Ashanti, could be African.

It's been here a while because it was priced at 120.

Now it's 80. My budget is 77.

Maybe it's something I could buy for a bit less

and just go to North Shields on the beat.

-There's a chair down here.

-Mm-hm. OK.

-It's priced at £80.

-Mm-hm.

-It was 120.

-Mm-hm.

I'm wondering if, today, we can drop another £40, and go to 40?

-40, 80, 120 - what do you think?

-60.

-Going, going, the week is...

-60.

-..gone.

-Thank you.

-Perfect, thank you.

-There's 60.

-Thank you very much.

-Thanks for this. I'm very grateful.

-Cheers. Bye.

-Bye.

And that, as they say, is that. Job's done.

-It's over!

-Go south, young man!

-Go south!

# You shall have a fishy in the little dishy

# You shall have a fishy when the boats come in. #

And we'll see who's boat is coming in at auction,

after some shut-eye. Night-night.

The stage is set on Tyneside for the last act of our antiques drama

and our characters are assembling downriver at North Shields.

Our star in cars premiered in Dundee,

and toured Tayside, Angus, and Aberdeenshire,

before the curtain comes down on the banks of the Tyne.

-It's our last sale.

-I know!

-I can't believe it.

It almost feels like a last date, Anita.

Good luck. After you. I'm nervous.

We're at Featonby's,

who've been auctioneering hereabouts since the 1920s,

when, unlike today, there was no internet bidding.

Anita was almost cleaned out again,

parting with £331 for her five lots, bless her,

while Charles put his record player and greyhound game together

to make one lot, and his total of five lots cost him £228.

But what do they each think of what the other bought?

This sporran has been up all the highest hills in Scotland,

and I'm sure that this sporran is going to be climbing

into profit in this auction today.

Anita likes to pull a pose, like this lady.

The base is in period, in keeping to 1920s,

and I think, for £77, she might be lucky in love at auction,

and make a small profit.

And what does auctioneer Darren Riach think?

The pair of footballers - Victorian.

Probably made in the Staffordshire region,

I think maybe the wrong colours for this particular area.

My favourite would probably be the Art Deco letter seal

and the letter opener.

It's a nice item, and it's in a lovely presentation case,

and I think it may do well in the auction.

Let's hope so, since it cost such a lot.

Now, this is your one-minute call, Ms Manning and Mr Hanson.

-Showtime!

-Here we are, darling.

-It's very busy.

-Yeah.

Nice atmosphere.

First up, a duet of vintage toys -

Charles's record player and greyhound racing game.

And they're off!

I would have loved one of those when I was a wee girl.

Start the bidding straight in at ten, 12, 15, and away!

£15 have gone. 15 bid. 18. 20. 22. Five, on the left.

28 bid now. And in the room at 30.

-And two. 35.

-Come on!

-Go on!

40? Can we make it 40?

42. 45. Internet bidder at 45. 48 with the lady.

-Yes!

-Thank you. I'm in business. One for the road.

50. 52. At 52.

-All done, finished? Selling at £52.

-GAVEL BANGS

-Yay!

-Yeah!

Hey, that's a lot of excitement for £2.

-Good start.

-I'm very lucky, very lucky.

Must be the method acting kicking in.

And will Anita's Art Deco figure dance into the spotlight?

The only difference between you and her is she's Art Deco.

Start me at 30. It's a nice period figure there.

-Oh, no, darling!

-Start me at 20, surely?

-£20.

-In at 20.

-22 on the internet. 22.

25. 20 at the back of the room. At 28. 30 bid.

32. 35. Internet bidder. At 35. 38, sir?

38 bid at the back.

-40 bid.

-Oh, Charlie!

-At £40.

42. 45. Back in.

-Good.

-50.

At £50. Any advance on 50? Are we all done now?

-At £50.

-One more, one more.

Last chance for the Art Deco figure. All done and finished at £50?

-Oh, there we are, Charlie.

-I think...

-There we are.

Yes, she paid "tutu" much for it and lost £27.

I knew that I was taking a wee chance, Charlie,

but I was willing to do it.

Next is the sporran Charles paid Stewart a tenner for.

Have all those Munros added to its value?

A man in a sporran is like no other, is that right?

Well, a man in a sporran is...

Well, it means that he's got a couple of quid.

THEY LAUGH

Start me at £50 for it. Someone straight in at 50 for it?

Surely? Nobody fancy a fling? A Highland fling?

-A Highland fling!

-£50, surely?

£30? Start the bidding at 30, surely? I've got a bid at £20.

We're away, we're away, we're away.

Two. Five. At the back of the room, at £28. Is there 30?

-30 on the internet.

-Well, here we go.

32. 35. Internet bidder at 35.

-38 bid from you, sir.

-Wow!

-At 38 bid now.

-Good man.

Can't wait any longer. All done. Bid's in the room at £38.

-Yes! Well done, Charlie.

-Anita, that's very good.

I'm very happy, Anita.

I should think so, with a £28 profit to put in your hairy purse.

Could I have worn a sporran, do you think, in my attire in England?

Yeah, why not? You can do whatever you want, Charlie.

Ha! That, I would like to see.

Time now for Anita's French bowl.

It glows. I love the geometric design.

And we start the bidding at 42. Five. At 45 bid now. 45 bid now.

-God!

-48. 50 bid.

At 50. 52. 55.

58. 60 bid.

And five. 65 bid over here on my left.

-Anita, you're brilliant.

-At 65. 70 bid. Internet bid.

Nobody does it better.

At £70, very reasonable.

Last chance, selling at £70.

-Yes, yes, yes!

-Anita, nobody does it better.

Bravo, mon petit chou!

£27 profit, eh? Not bad.

And bingo!

Yeah, Charles's carved wooden nutcracker's next.

What are the biggest nuts you get?

The biggest nuts, which you can chew?

-Cashew nuts?

-Coconuts.

-Coconuts!

22 bid now. At 22. 25, is there? At 22. 25, the lady's bid.

-It's good, Anita.

-They like them, Charlie.

At £28 bid now. At 28. 30 bid now. At 30.

-Go on!

-Lady's bid at £30. £30 bid now. At 30.

At 32. 35? 35 in the room.

-Go on.

-At £35 bid now. At £35. Do I see 38? 38, back in.

-I'll tell you what, Anita, my nuts...

-I'll hold your hand.

40 bid. At £40, are we all done now?

I'm going to sell it, fair warning,

-at £40.

-GAVEL BANGS

-Very good, Anita.

-Charlie, that's 100% profit.

So it is. You cracked that one, Charles.

I might just, later, as a celebration,

buy you a packet of nuts.

-Peanuts OK?

-Peanuts are fine.

Peanuts are fine.

Anita's French silver and marble paper knife and seal set next.

-Pull the jackpot. Here we go.

-Here we are.

-At £20. 22.

-Come here. Hold tight. Hold tight.

-25. 28.

30. 30 bid. I had £30 bid on my left.

At £30, the bid's here on my left at 30. 32, fresh bid.

32. And five? 38? 38.

40. 42, sir?

42. 45. 45. 48.

At £45. It's worth more. At 45.

48, is there? At £45.

-Oh, he's trying. He's trying hard.

-He's trying.

-50 bid, sir.

52? Thought not. 55? 55?

At £55. Look at it. Beautiful lot, that.

Last chance, fair warning, at £55.

-He did his best, Charlie...

-He did.

-..but I've just lost over £100.

105, to be precise. Quelle catastrophe!

SHE CHUCKLES

-I don't know what to say.

-I know. Don't say anything.

Do you want a coffee just as a half-time refreshment?

Let's think of the next lot. What's the next lot?

Exactly, Anita. The next lot, what is it?

It's your football figures, ready for kick-off.

Balancing a football on my shoulders.

Oh, I thought you were dancing wildly, Charlie.

-Or twitching.

-No, no, they do that.

-Start me at £40 for the pair.

-Come on.

-£40.

-It's your big-ticket item.

-They are.

Come on, surely?

Shearer! Gazza! Shearer! Gazza!

-Sorry.

-I think you're ten years too late - Shearer and Gazza.

-Sorry.

-LAUGHTER

-No interest?

-Uh-oh.

Surely? £10 to start the bidding, the lot there.

£10 for the lot there?

I don't believe that, actually. £10, I'm bid.

£10 bid. 12 at the back there. £12 bid. 15 bid now. £15 bid now.

15. 18 on that now? At £18.

-They're so good.

-I think they might be just teasing you, Charlie.

25 bid. Standing up at 25. Standing at 25. 28. At 30.

At £30. Surely they're worth more?

Yes, they are. 32. At 32. Internet interest at 32.

Is there 35? Last chance and fair warning. The hammer's up.

Bid's on the internet.

-All done at £32?

-GAVEL BANGS

32.

And that own goal's just cost him £58. Wow!

-I've been given the red card.

-Yeah!

You're into injury time now, Charles.

Next, Anita's gem-set ring.

Where are we going to start? Start me at £50 with the ring there.

£50 for the ring there. Beautiful ring there. Art Deco.

-£20, then. £20, I'm bid.

-Oh, there we are.

28, I've got. 30? 30, bid. At £30, I've got now.

At £30. Somebody go 32?

32, fresh bid. 35? 35, internet. 35 bid now.

38? At 38. 40 bid.

40 bid in the front row. £40, I've got.

At £40. Is there 42 anywhere? Surely?

-42.

-Yes!

-Good lad.

-45. 48. 50 bid.

At 50. Bid's here now at 50.

-Get in.

-At £50. Lady's bid. She wants it.

The lady gets what the lady wants.

At £50. That's usually the case, the way it goes, isn't it?

-At £50.

-He's good. He's good.

-At £50.

The lady's bid. All done, selling at £50.

-Yes!

-Well done, Anita. Enjoy it.

-It's lovely.

So it is, and £15 back in your piggy.

That'll help with my minus 105.

Well, a little bit, anyway.

Next, Charles's last lot, the tribal chair.

You've got to believe.

HE HUMS

-I'm meditating.

-Oh, you're meditating, Charlie.

Start me at £50 for the chair there. Very unusual.

£50 for the chair. £50 for it.

When are you going to see another one? Think about it.

£50 for that beautiful chair there.

-Meditate!

-HE BREATHES DEEPLY

£30, we're going to start then.

£30. The bid's here now at £30. The bid's here now at 30.

Somebody go 32. 32, I've got.

And five. 40 bid.

42. And five. 48.

-Are we going to get 50?

-Go on!

-Go on!

-HE BREATHES DEEPLY

50 bid. 52.

At 52. 55, is there?

-At 52.

-Go on!

-Charlie, we're nearly there.

At £52. Any advance on 52?

-Go on!

-Come on!

-At £52. For 52.

-Come on!

-At 52.

-Last chance at 52.

-Go on!

-All done at £52.

-GAVEL BANGS

-Aw!

-Anita...

-Charlie, it could have been a lot worse.

-It could.

Or better. £8 down, then.

-I'm very happy.

-Maybe you didn't meditate hard enough.

Time for the finale now - Anita's military buttons.

-We salute them.

-Yeah.

-We'll start the bidding at ten.

12. 15. 18. 20. 20, I've got.

-Good.

-22 somewhere? At £20. Bid now at 20. At £20.

Bid now at 20. I've got a bid of 20.

-Profit.

-At 22. 25. Bid now at 25.

Bid now at 28. Bid on the net at 28. Bid now at 28.

Is there 30? At 28, still on the net.

-£28!

-At £28.

-That's good.

-I am a happy girl.

And £12 isn't buttons, or washers, or something.

That's my week over, Anita. Thank you for the memories.

The emotion, the moment, the timings, the passion, the love.

I'm going to burst oot greetin' in a minute.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Gretna Green, did you say?

-Greetin'.

-Gretna Green?

No, burst oot greetin'.

-What does that mean?

-It means burst into tears.

Burst oot greetin'?

-SHE LAUGHS

-Is that better? You're going to cry?

I am! I've burst oot greetin'!

I'm going to burst oot greetin' if this goes on any longer.

Uh-oh, they're off.

Now for the epilogue.

A mixed bag of profits and losses cost Charles £2.52,

leaving him with a final total of £193.20...

..while Anita's made quite a loss today of £123.54.

However, her final tally is £225.78.

So, we declare that she is our prima donna this time.

Bravo! All profits go to Children In Need.

-Charlie...

-Oh, Anita!

-..that was wonderful.

Oh, there they are. Look at the Geordie skies,

and the trials and tribulations, hey?

-What a week.

-The end of a wonderful trip.

It's been wonderful, Anita. You're going north. I'm going south.

There's one where I can take you now -

-over the threshold...

-Oh, Charlie!

-..for one last time.

-Let's go!

-SHE LAUGHS

# Love lift us up where we belong... #

Ah, yes, up there where they belong.

I do talk some rubbish, don't I?

We salute their talents...

-SMASHING

-Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Charlie can keep the stack!

-Fishy, fishy, fishy!

-HE WHISTLES

..their vitality...

OK, darling, buckle up.

..tender hearts...

# Up where the clear winds blow... #

-..and their tactics.

-Yay!

HE GROANS

God bless them, and all who sail with them.

Thank you, Anita and Charles.

Next time on the Antiques Road Trip,

a new pair of experts, Margie Cooper and Paul Laidlaw.

Pull over and give me a big hug.

There's going to be wheeling...

SHE LAUGHS ..and dealing.

Profit - that's what I want.

Hey, it's looking good.

But who will hit the right note on the next antique adventure? Ha-ha!