Episode 15 Antiques Road Trip

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'The nation's favourite antiques experts, £200 and one challenge.'

-I'm going to declare war.

-Why?

'Who can make the most money buying and selling antiques, as they scour the UK?

'The aim is to trade up and hope each antique turns a profit.

'It's not as easy as you might think.

'Things don't always go to plan.

'So, will they race off with a huge profit or come to a grinding halt?

'This is the Antiques Road Trip.'

'Sadly, it's the last antiques voyage for this week's competitive experts.

'But they're putting a brave face on it.'

-The sun is out to say hello!

-Laidlaw feels better already.

'Thomas Plant - he's a valuer, an auctioneer and an eternal ditherer.'

Just thinking in my head.

'What he lacks in speed, he makes up for with his own peculiar charm.'

I hope there's beautiful antiques, like our beautiful reception.

'Oh, lord! Here's Paul Laidlaw. He's an auctioneer, a tactician

'and he's business by any means necessary.'

'And over yer money, sir!

'It's been a roller coaster of emotion this week.

'Our savvy Scot had a wobbly start.'

Oh, Paul!

'But he's played a clever game and is racing out in front

'with a very healthy...'

Read it and weep, Plant!

'Thomas, bless him, started so well, nearly doubling his money.'

I just feel, oh!

'Sadly, he's been on a downward spiral, leaving him chasing his tail

'with...'

Can you lend me some money?

'That's a meagre £8.54p profit since he started this trip four days ago.

'It's the final furlong, as our boys zip merrily along in their classy

'Alfa Romeo Spider.

'Thomas may have lost plenty of money but he's not losing his head.

'Just his hat.

'This week's route has taken our experts from Skipton

'through the glorious English countryside

'to Wiltshire.

'On today's final leg, they're leaving Watlington behind

'and heading for the final auction in Pewsey.

'First stop is the beautiful village of Tetsworth.

'In 1589, Tetsworth was sold by the Crown to the Petty family,

'till lost in 1674 by Christopher Petty,

'"a man of unthriftiness, folly and extravagance."

'With that in mind, here come our Thomas and Paul.'

-Great.

-I've been here before.

-Oh, my word.

I've got a head start. I know all about this place.

-But do you know about antiques?

-From recent experience, no!

'The Swan is a classy establishment

'with price tags to cause our boys consternation, especially Thomas.'

-Hello.

-Hello. Good morning.

'Luckily, lovely Philippa's on hand to give them,

'well, kind words, at least.

'Chaps, it's time to divide and conquer,

'but who gets which side of the shop?'

You're more of a Queen Anne man. You're more of a queen than I am!

Why don't you get down the Queen Anne?

'For goodness' sake! Will you girls just get on with it?'

This is the first room I've walked into. All very nice.

But there's no mileage in this room. You KNOW what I mean.

'Not really, Paul, but if you're moaning about the prices,

'be glad you don't have Thomas's purse.'

Chinese Armorial style bowl. BOWL RINGS CLEAR

Hm. Not at £140.

'Come on, Thomas, money isn't everything.

'Unless you're buying antiques.'

More of a gambler at the beginning than I will be today.

Um...

I don't want to blow it all, so close to the final hurdle.

'Oh, come on, Paul. Live a little.

'Go all-in.'

I'll attack him. Rob him of his money!

'Thomas, none of your tactics have worked so far. Give it a go.

'Mind you don't take somebody's eye out.'

I may have found it.

I adore vintage specs.

I don't know what appeals.

It's partly the former science student in me

that is drawn to them as instruments, technology, optics.

Partly, aren't they so evocative of a time?

Could you see, I don't know, Dr Johnson wearing such spectacles?

They're not going to set the world alight.

But £15. I think that's a no-brainer.

'Paul, if it's a no-brainer, maybe you've found your level.

'They're rather sweet, but are you losing your focus?'

I need to try these on.

With my melon-size head, that's not advisable, but look at the charm.

Absolutely evocative.

-That's the original case.

-Consider them sold.

-Yeah?

-Easy as that.

-Yeah.

-Thank you very much.

'Paul, sorry, but you completely forgot to haggle there.

'And you're a Sco...

'scholar at haggling, normally.

'Now, what's the matter with Thomas? Piles?'

No point me looking at anything here.

I've only got £200.

'Moan, moan! It's your last hurrah. Pull yourself together, man.'

-Hello, Plant. You come lightly laden there.

-No investments made, but...

-It's a wonderful place.

-Yeah.

-It's a bit rich for me.

That's cool, but I'm on a mission.

-Vamoose, yeah?

-Vamoose! Definitely.

'At least someone is grabbing their last trip by the horns.

'Let's get this antiques rodeo

'back on the road-i-o.

'Thomas and Paul leave Tetsworth in the dust,

'and push on 40 miles west, to the market town of Lechlade.

'Lechlade sits on almost the highest point of the River Thames.

'It's popular for leisurely river rides,

'but our experts have no time for such luxuries.'

-Hello, there.

-Afternoon.

-Paul.

-Hello, Paul. I'm Mandy.

'Paul's found his way to Jubilee Hall Antiques

'and seems to be in a serious buying mood.'

I've got the budget. I've seen a little gem hidden in there.

'Less talk, more action, Paul. The final auction is beckoning.'

Pleasing little early 19th-century pocket snuffbox.

Lacquered papier mache.

Looks like fishing, with nets hanging out to dry.

£35 ticket price. I think that's a lovely little object for that.

It's just, if I may,

that little mache snuffbox.

A little look at that.

Well, I needn't look very long and hard at that. It is what it is.

The obvious next question is

could you see for me

what the bottom line could be on that?

Well, you seem like a nice young man, nicer than some!

How about £30?

'Oh, Mandy, you clearly don't know Paul that well.'

This is where the nice young man turns into a hideous monster!

I'd like to pay £20 for that.

I can't. Sorry. I went straight in at my bottom line.

-At 30. I could have gone higher and negotiated down.

-Indeed. Indeed.

-Squeeze some more out of that. 25.

-29. Another pound.

-Oh!

Just to be friendly. PAUL SIGHS

My last push, and don't make me ask it.

I will buy it.

-Make it £28 and I will buy it.

-I can't.

'Wow! Mandy is really standing her ground!

'Surely Paul can squeeze just a little more?'

-Ah! You're good.

-HE LAUGHS

-Make it £28.

-I can't.

-29 is a rubbish number.

-Seriously, I can't.

-You know I'm going to buy it.

Thank you for squeezing it as hard as you could.

'Well done, Mandy, for standing strong, girl.

'She's only small.

'Now, looking for inner strength,

'Thomas has given himself an inspirational break.

'Well, get him!

'This is Tristan, site manager of Kelmscott Manor, summer home

'of world famous 19th-century designer William Morris.

'Morris felt architecture and design in his time weren't to his taste

'so, along with friend Philip Webb, he created his own

'hand-crafted designs.'

Hallowed territory! This has been 20 years in the waiting for me.

You just realised what we're coming to.

-I think it is what you think it is.

-So this is Philip Webb.

-Philip Webb.

-Morris's mate.

Yeah. They met as architects.

-He designed that for the Red House.

-The Red House.

The first house Morris designed with Webb. Was the Red House for Morris?

-Morris and...

-Jane, their first marriage home.

There was nothing to fill it with.

-That's right.

-And what they saw out there, on the "high street",

-didn't satisfy their demand.

-Absolutely.

So they asked their good friend, Philip, to design some furniture,

but design it so it's craftsman built, and that's the whole thing.

-It changed the world.

-Absolutely.

-That's the important thing.

And significant, then, of course,

because with these significant pieces for Red House,

they thought, "Must be others who may like it."

'In 1861, Morris, along some with friends,

'created the firm Morris, Marshall and Faulkner,

'later, Morris & Co.

'Morris's work is still admired the world over,

'particularly his extraordinary talent as a pattern designer.'

Here we have Strawberry Thief.

-Tell me the story behind this.

-On one occasion,

he was waiting his turn to use the three-seater privy, which you can still visit in the backyard.

Surrounded by the wild strawberry plants, which are still there.

Down came a thrush, pinched a strawberry and flew off.

He was apparently inspired to do the pattern for Strawberry Thief.

'It just shows you can get inspiration

'from the most unusual places at the most...awkward times.

'The Strawberry Thief is still produced,

'available from your local highly expensive interior design shoppe.'

-I have a treat for you.

-What's this?

-This is original fabric?

-Yeah.

The colours are so strong.

It's such a ground-breaking pattern!

Very lucky to see that. Tremendous.

'Kelmscott Manor and its beautiful gardens

'remained a retreat and source of inspiration

'for Morris for the rest of his life.

'Let's hope it's inspired our poor Thomas to get searching for beautifully designed antique gems.

'Down the road, there's no stopping Paul Laidlaw.

'He's a man on a mission, making his mark at Lechlade Antiques Arcade.'

A contrast to the previous centre! There's a lot of bric-a-brac.

Modern collectables. Retro material.

That's not to say that this couldn't yield a little hidden treasure.

Keep looking.

Have we done upstairs? No.

'There's got to be hidden treasure here. You need to smoke them out.

'What's this, then? Asking for £38?'

It's just a mad little object. What is it? Victorian.

High Victorian - OTT.

We've got this cast gilt metal brass claw

holding this agate egg.

What is it? It's essentially a pipe.

But a cigarette would be held in the bowl,

rather than tobacco.

-You could see Aleister Crowley with that.

-You certainly could.

Or Sherlock Holmes.

PAUL LAUGHS I think it was more his thing.

But it's a million miles off the mark.

I'd need that for a tiny fraction. I'll tell you what I want to pay.

I'll take a punt at 15.

I'm pretty sure, I'll look you in the eye, I'll get £20 to £30 for it.

-We'll let it go for 15 quid.

-It's a quirky wee thing.

-Let's give it a punt.

-Just for a laugh.

-It's been a pleasure.

Absolutely. Thanks very much. Let's do it. I'll get you some money.

'Another fantastic result, Paul. You're on fire today!

'Unfortunately, the same can't be said for your dithering competitor,

'who's bought sweet nothing so far.

'Let's hope Thomas pulls his finger out tomorrow.

'Night, night.

'It's a new day. It's a new dawn.

'And at least one of our chaps is feeling good.

'So far, Paul's spent £59 on three lots -

'a pair of Victorian spectacles, a Georgian lacquer snuffbox

'and a Victorian novelty cigarette pipe.

'He's still got a huge £301.68p to burn.

'Thomas, meanwhile, hasn't spent a penny.

'He's still got his £208.54p to burn.

'That's only £8.54p more than he started with. The shame!

'Today, our boys are going their separate ways.

'Thomas is stopping in Hungerford.

'Paul is trying his luck 30 miles away.

'Often mistaken for a new town, Basingstoke is an old market town

'and has held a Wednesday market since 1214.

'Today's not market day,

'but it's Paul's last shop before the grand finale.

'Hopefully, owner Alan will help him bag a bargain.'

Alan, I genuinely do have a respectable budget and I would be delighted to buy something.

'Paul, you've played a blinder so far.

'Things can change in the blink of an eye in this game,

'so buy wisely and keep your wits about you.'

Always nice to find something that resonates with me from a Scot's point of view.

This is mid 19th century, long-cased clock.

Particularly Scottish in form, a "drum head".

You picture a grandfather clock,

you picture an upright hood and face,

a long slender trunk and plinth base, typically.

But this one, with this drum head,

then this tapering trunk,

it's not unique to Scotland but it's particularly common.

Or relatively common.

'A very fine, handsome piece, Paul, but at £550

'are you admiring it or, you know, just considering it?'

Glasgow-made clock.

I don't know that it would prove to be a popular clock in today's environment,

but it's as far from home as I am.

250 quid is the best you're gonna get out of me. PAUL SIGHS

'Come on, Paul. The clock is ticking, if you'll pardon the pun.

'But that does sound like a good deal.'

I'm a nervous wreck because Thomas Plant was in the same position,

away ahead of the game, feeling smug.

-Stuck his neck out, and lost his head.

-Ah, well. Play safe, then.

Ah, no! That's not my style! I want to buy a proper antique.

-200 squids?

-Mmmm...

Mmmm!

I know it's lean.

'Hah! £200? You've got to admire his nerve.'

You buy me a cup of coffee and you can have a deal.

That's one down. Cheers, my man.

'Hats off! A fine handsome item with a thoroughly healthy discount.

'There's no stopping Paul in Basingstoke.'

No surprises. Magic lantern.

For those that don't know,

it's a big slide projector.

How old is it? It's a Victorian specimen.

We should have, but it's lacking, a burner here, a naked flame burner.

We projected onto the wall.

In the Victorian era, when we can't pop down the cinema,

because the Lumiere brothers haven't gone there yet,

this is cracking home entertainment, isn't it?

-Your magic lantern.

-It's quite a nice piece.

'It is rather lovely, indeed.

'These magic lanterns were THE high-tech

'must-have home entertainment system of the Victorian era.'

-Now, I have got the box and some slides for it.

-Excellent!

They're up here.

-That might change everything.

-There's the original box.

-OK.

It's a bit tatty, which is why I didn't display it.

-A wee handful of...

-Some original Victorian slides.

Fair enough!

Ach! No slight...?

£50.

-Which is nae bad.

-It's a good price.

I'm against the clock.

Can we make it 40, shake, I'll give you some money and I'll run?

-Proper money?

-Proper money.

Alan, a pleasure. A pleasure.

'So, Paul's now filled his swag bag with four items,

'and two of them are real crackers.

'Thomas Plant, meanwhile, has still not parted with any cash.

'Shocking, isn't it?'

I feel...

so worried about losing it all, and I don't want to do that but...

If something grabs me and costs a lot of money, I may as well go for it cos I've got nothing to lose.

'And everything to gain.

'Hungerford is on the River Dun, in the Kennet valley.

'In 1688, Prince William of Orange met James II's commissioners

'right here to make plans for the throne of England to pass on to him.

'So there are deals to be done,

'and Thomas might actually buy something.

'That'd be a relief.'

At least it's stopped raining.

And there's enough blue sky to mend a man's shirt.

So, maybe my luck is turning.

'I really hope so, Thomas. I really, really do.'

I've got bags of money to spend.

Bags of money.

Well, not bags, but some.

'Actually, you've still got the same £208.54p

'you had first thing yesterday morning, so roll up your sleeves

'and get stuck into a cabinet or two.'

-Before we start, I saw this.

-You like your glass.

I LOVE my glass.

Look at that trumpet vase. That's by Palmer Koenig.

Palmer Koenig is Bohemian glass from the Art Nouveau period,

late 19th century, early 1900s.

That is a nice thing. OK.

'I like the sound of this.

'Thomas Plant could, quite possibly, soon be back in business.'

So what I have found here is a pair of silver plated posy vases.

They're £16.

-One's got a chip to the glass.

-Yes.

-Which is quite severe.

-Yes.

And these are by WMF.

WMF is a German Art Nouveau producer.

At that price, they're beautiful.

Right, I'm going to carry on in here.

'I think I can hear the cogs turning in Thomas's mind.

'Could we be looking at a potential bulk buy for a bumper auction lot?'

I've just...

been in a cabinet and pulled out a load of stuff.

That's the way to do it.

Corkscrew.

Propelling pencil and a knackered pair of tongs.

'Thomas, are you sure you've given this enough thought?

'We're at £145 for all these items.

'Now what have you found?'

I spotted that hanging there.

I'm quite pleased I found that.

This is David-Andersen.

David-Andersen is a silversmith. This is a brooch AND pendant.

1970s, just a very lovely thing, and very fashionable right now.

'OK, so all these items

'now add up to £239.

'Elizabeth has worked her magic and the dealer has come down to 176.

'So... Oh, dear. I think I know what THAT look means.'

Well, do you think...? LAUGHS

-I know. Another phone call?

-Well, yeah. Just one more.

-I'll buy the whole lot for a flat figure.

-Right.

-Do you think 150 would be cheeky?

-'Quite possibly.'

-176.

-She's given you quite a big...

-I know. But I can only ask.

-We can ask.

-Is that all right? We might meet somewhere halfway.

Hello, Frances... You're not surprised to hear from me again.

No, no. Well, you've been extremely generous, so far.

-Very generous.

-You're such a generous lady.

The whole lot adds up to 176.

Can we do it for 150?

-She's putting her glasses on. That's a good sign!

-Good.

-She says it's not good.

-Oh, no! No!

-She'll do it for 160.

-I'll meet her halfway. 155.

-15...?

-LAUGHS

160. You've bled her dry.

-But not at 155?

-Can't be 155. Got to be 160.

She doesn't think she's making any profit now!

That is kind of why she's doing it.

-You know.

-Yeah. Deal.

-Lovely. Thank you.

Really pleased. Really, really pleased.

'Well done, Thomas. You're finally back in the game.

'I was worried about you for a while.

'Less of concern is the well-stocked Paul Laidlaw.

'Content with his purchases,

'he's allowed himself a romantic assignment.

'Oo-ah! In Chawton lies the former home

'of one of England's foremost ladies of letters.

'Louise is here to show Paul around the wonderful Jane Austen House Museum.

'Set amongst the landed gentry, Jane Austen's finely crafted novels

'made her one of the widest-read English writers in the world.

'Her work's still loved today.'

A place of pilgrimage, I've no doubt.

'Jane moved to Chawton at the age of 33,

'finding both her new home and creative Eden,

'but not necessarily finding happiness.'

OK, Paul.

-I can guess!

-What can you guess?

-Tell me what you can guess.

-Ink pot, quill, table...?

-You're probably right.

-Tell me more.

-This is the table

at which Jane sat and revised her early novels,

including Sense & Sensibility, and wrote entirely three others.

Emma, Mansfield Park and Persuasion.

She sat here because she could hide herself away, in a way.

She was a very private person and, like a lot of creative people,

they don't want other people giving them ideas and suggestions.

Why did she not marry? Do we know?

Well, money has a lot to do with it. That is reflected in her writing.

There's a lot of preoccupation with money.

But I think, had the right man presented himself,

had Mr Darcy walked through the door,

or, better yet, Captain Wentworth? I'm going to get carried away now!

I think she would have been persuaded to marry.

But it didn't happen and I think we have to be grateful.

-Had she married, I'm sure we wouldn't have these books.

-Indeed.

'Her much-loved novels were nearly all written at this small table.

'She was able to write, not only beautifully, but continuously.'

It's extraordinary, the literary output in such a short time.

It's almost unprecedented.

We do feel we're one of the most important and significant literary shrines in the world, actually.

So much work was done here in such a short space of time.

-A novel a year, really.

-My word!

-Which is staggering. Yeah.

'You wonder if she left the chair!

'Jane's first novel was published in 1811,

'under the pseudonym A Lady, a convention at the time,

'and allowed Jane to preserve her anonymity.'

No prizes for guessing! A first edition in publisher's boards!

First edition of her first published novel, Sense & Sensibility.

How was it received?

Don't forget that the reading public are pretty small.

You're talking about hundreds of copies, not thousands.

But it was well received.

The best received, I would probably say, was Pride & Prejudice.

People really liked it straight away, which was great.

'Despite being a lady of the time, Jane Austen's novels

'became hugely popular and are still loved throughout the world.

'I think she may just have gained a new admirer.

'From Hungerford, Thomas is driving 35 miles south to Winchester.

'As the final auction draws closer,

'the pressure is definitely building.'

My shop closes in three quarters of an hour. I'm racing to Winchester.

Time is against me. I feel I have the devil chasing me on my back.

'The building of Winchester Cathedral started in 1079.

'It's the city's most imposing and loved landmark.

'The interior doubled as the Vatican in the 2005 film The Da Vinci Code,

'although meetings were subsequently held there to debunk the book.

'I don't mean to scare you, Thomas,

'but with only £48.54p in your pocket,

'and a difference of over £150 to make up,

'this is your last chance saloon.

'It's getting pretty late to find enough antiques for auction.'

Can I have a look at the long horn spoon, please?

It's a love spoon. It's got a little heart on it. It's very sweet.

-What's the very, very best on the spoon?

-What have I got on it?

25.

-QUIETLY: Would you do 20?

-'Why are we whispering?'

-It would be cheap!

-I'm only asking.

-How about splitting in the middle, meeting halfway?

-What would that mean? 22?

-Mm.

Yeah. OK. £22.

'Interesting technique, Thomas - both quietly subdued

'AND decidedly insistent. I like it. What's next?'

-I haven't had one of these for a long time.

-That's a nice cameo.

'Oh, a pretty cameo brooch. How very YOU, Thomas.'

-What's your very best?

-What are you going to offer me?

-Well, not very much.

I have 45 on it.

-It's quite pretty. It's a lovely cameo.

-I've got to take 30.

-I'm sorry.

-That's fine.

-That's the best I can do.

I'm not disappointed that you've got to stick at 30. That's fine.

'Not much! Well, you may SEEM a little disappointed, and quiet.

'Again.'

Just thinking in my head.

'Makes a change. Come on, Thomas. We're approaching closing time.'

-If I make you an offer...

-Yes. Do that.

-If you're really kind...

-Yes.

-'Go on, then.'

-And really nice to me.

Would you do that at £26?

-Yes.

-Would you?

-I will. I will, yes.

That's my last throw of the dice.

'At long last, Thomas finishes his shopping with 54p in his pocket!

'Now it's time, gentlemen, please.

'Time to reveal your treasures.'

-I can see what you bought. Come on!

-It's a brooch.

It's a very big brooch, for a giant!

-That's lovely!

-Isn't it?

-It's great. What did you pay?

-Two.

-£200?

-Yeah.

-You've stuck your neck out there, Laidlaw.

'What about your twin vases?'

-I like them. They're sweet.

-They're chipped.

-Are they?

-Yeah.

-Ooh, Tom.

-A little bit.

Tell me you got those very reasonably indeed.

-12.

-Yeah. OK.

-Somebody might not see they're chipped and buy them.

If they can't see, maybe they need a pair of...

a pair of them.

A pair of spectacles.

-Aren't they sweet?

-'Very sweet, Paul.

'Now it's Thomas's Bohemian vase.'

Vases R Us! That's the only one, though!

It's all right.

-It's not your thing.

-It's not stand-out, but it is what it is.

-'Time for Paul's quirky pipe.'

-Wonderful!

So what did you pay?

BOTH LAUGH That's lovely.

'What will Paul make of the bundle of white metal items?'

£80, £100?

-90.

-It's in my shout.

'Now for Paul's magic lantern.'

We sell them all the time. They're quite good things. £80 to £120.

'Thomas's two brooches.'

-David-Andersen.

-Very stylish.

-Very hot property. And I got that.

I like those. I like those very much.

My turn? This is me on the way out.

This is the final throw of the die.

Yeah.

-There you are.

-Well done, sir.

What do they make? £50, £80?

I wish I could get your estimates in the sale, Thomas.

I think it's worth 30 to 50.

But I paid 29.

'Come on, Thomas, show him your spoon.'

It is charming, utterly charming. It's going to sell on merit.

-A little love spoon.

-Yeah.

-Because I LOVE you.

THOMAS LAUGHS

'For now, maybe! Tell us what you really think.'

From Paul's, my favourite item's got to be the clock.

A lovely looking clock.

My least favourite item is the magic lantern. They're difficult to sell.

I like some of Tom's purchases. The brooches could double his money.

The mixed lot, frankly, it's a load of rubbish.

My biggest fear is coming out with less money than I started with.

If that happens, I'm going to be gutted.

'So, it's tissues at the ready, as we hit the road one last time.

'It's been an eventful final leg from Tetsworth via Lechlade,

'Hungerford, Basingstoke, Chawton and Winchester,

'with the grand finale in Pewsey firmly in sight.

'The Jubilee Auction Rooms are the last port of call

'for our nervous pair.

'Auctioneer David Harrison has a few wise words to say about our experts' choices.'

There's an interesting varied selection.

The clock is the interesting one.

I do honestly think the brooch should sell well.

I think out of the two of them, Thomas stands the better chance, but we'll see.

'Paul began his last trip with £360.68p

'and spent an impressive £299 on five auction lots.

'As for Thomas, well, he started way down on £208.54p

'and eventually bought six lots for £208.

'He has just 54p left rattling around in his pocket.

'It's been a week of surprising auctions, with a mix of catastrophe and triumph.

'Hopefully, our boys finish with a flourish, but Thomas needs a miracle.

'His cameo brooch is first up.'

Straight in, £30 here?

20?

Ten?

Anyone like it?

-No?!

-Obviously not.

We'll pass that by.

-Oh!

-No-one wants to bid.

What happened? Nobody wanted it?

'Oh, dear, Thomas. You'll just have to take it home.

'Fingers crossed for your next brooch.'

David-Andersen. Sweet little thing. £40 for this?

20 I'm bid. £20. And two, thank you.

22. 24. 26. 28. 30...

He's got a bid on the book.

-..I'm out. At £35, then.

-Go on.

38 outside, now. 40, sir. 40.

42? 45? 48?

50? And five?

-Down here at 50.

-Ooh, profit!

'That's more like it, Thomas. Fingers crossed for a fight-back.'

-What did you make?

-29 I paid.

'Now, first on the nose for Paul

'are the Victorian spectacles.'

Ten. Thank you, sir. You're all heart. £10.

-Thank you, ma'am. 12. 14...

-Here we are. 16. 18.

..20. And two. 22...

-It's what we said.

-Mid-estimate, isn't it?

..At 22. Bid's in the doorway.

Little bit of profit for you.

'A reasonable profit. Nothing to be sniffed at.

'Unlike Paul's Georgian snuffbox.

'He haggled hard. Let's hope it was worth the effort.'

I've got interest. £20 I'm bid. 20 bid.

At £20. 22. 25. 28. 30.

-32, sir? 35...

-Exactly what I said.

Have you been leaving bids on my stuff? Cheers, mate!

Fine! 38. 40. Carrying on.

-..45? 48?

-It's going to make my estimate, 55.

..At £55, then. I'm selling at 55. A commission bid.

£55! Well done, you.

'That's more like it. Well done, Paul.

'Will Thomas's love spoon send him head-over-heels?'

It looks nice from here. Charming.

Where are we going? £50? £30? 20 I've got.

-Against you all at £20. 24.

-Go on.

-26. 28.

-In the money.

-28.

-28. At 28.

-One more.

-Against you all. I'm going to sell at £28.

-Any advance?

BANGS GAVEL

Little sweat on when it started to happen.

I got a bit of a sweat on.

'Oh, dear. After commission, that £6 ain't going far.

'Next up is Paul's novelty pipe. Will it blow the bidders away?'

-Here we are.

-Yeah.

-What's that worth? £100 for it?

No? 50...?

30. There you are.

Bid, then, at £30. 32 commission.

35. 38. 40. At 40.

42. 45. 48...

-Well done, Laidlaw.

-Nice thing.

..At 50. Five. 60.

At 60.

At £60, then. Nice thing. All done at 60.

BANGS GAVEL

Get in!

'Fantastic result, Paul.

'Next, Thomas's lot of white metal items - not silver, to you and me.'

This is it.

£100? 50 to start. Thank you very much indeed.

50 bid. Good job lot.

-Go on.

-60. Five. 70. £70.

-More.

-At 70.

Here to be sold at 70.

BANGS GAVEL

-It was enough.

-All right.

'Oh, dear, Thomas.'

Feel free to bid any time.

LAUGHTER

'Now, can Paul conjure up a profit on the magic lantern?'

£20 I'm bid. 20. £20 got.

At 20. At 20.

That's ridiculous. You've got another bidder.

25. 28.

And 30. 32.

And five.

And eight. At 38.

That's darned cheap.

At £38...

-No, no, no.

-I said it would make 35.

'The bidders liked that one, but not a lot.'

OK. Fair enough.

'Cheer up, Paul. At least it sold.

'Thomas, it's time for your Art Nouveau vase.'

Bohemian iridescent green glass vase. That really nice vase.

-Tell a lie.

-£50 away. 30, then?

-Go on!

-30 I've got. £30 bid. Thank you.

At £30. At 30. 32, sir. 32.

35? And eight. 38.

-A bit more!

-At £38.

At £38. Doesn't seem expensive.

One more. Go on. BANGS GAVEL

-29.

-That's all right.

'At least it's a profit.

'Surely your vases will help you end on a high.'

Who likes them? Ten's a voice outside.

At £10. At £10. At ten only. At ten. I'll take 12 now.

At £10. 12. Thank you. At 12.

14 now, here. 16 outside.

-18 now.

-New place. Yes.

Lady's bid. 24, sir? And six, ma'am?

26. 28.

30. 32, sir. 32. No more.

35. 35.

-In the doorway now...

-£35. Go on!

-'That was hard work.'

-Yes!

'What did I tell you?

'Now for Paul's final lot of the week, and his biggest gamble so far.

'The hour of reckoning is upon us. Tick, tock!'

£100 I am bid. 100 I've got. £100.

And ten, sir. 120.

130. 140, commission.

150. 160. 170. 180.

190. I am out. The bid's in the doorway.

At £190. 200.

And ten. 220. 230.

240. 250.

260. 270.

280. 290.

300. 20, sir? 320.

340. 360. 380.

And he's gone. At 380. The bid's on the telephone.

At £380, then. I'm selling it at 380 on the telephone.

Well done. You've beaten me hands down.

'With a profit of 180, I think you've just hit the bull's-eye.'

You and I desperately deserve a pint and a hug.

'Oh, dear. No. Please, no hugging.'

The pint I'll take.

'A very wise choice indeed.

'Now, what about a recap?

'Thomas started the show with just £208.54p,

'and went on to lose even more.

'After auction costs, he ends his Road Trip with just...

'No pocket money for you, Thomas!

'Paul, meanwhile, started this leg with a comfortable lead at £360.68p.

'He made some clever purchases and some healthy profits,

'ending the week triumphant on...

'Gold star for you, Paul.'

That's it. I feel thrashed.

You utterly annihilated me.

I felt I had six of the best off Laidlaw!

PAUL LAUGHS

-Anyway, well done.

-Thanks very much, Thomas.

It was a pleasure.

'Ah! I love a happy ending.

'It's been an emotional week.

'Since leaving Skipton, Thomas and Paul have driven over 300 miles

'down the backbone of Britain, and there's been fighting talk from the start.'

Are you feeling lucky, punk?

-'They both wanted victory.'

-Rob him for his money.

'And over yer money, sir.

'Thomas decided that, to get ahead, he had to get a hat.'

# Wherever I lay my hat that's my home... #

'Unfortunately, it didn't quite go to plan.'

Ah! My hat's gone!

# When you're down and troubled... #

-A hug?

-No.

-You want a hug?

-No.

-Yeah.

-No hugs later. Nothing.

-'What started with war...'

-I'll always have a hug for you.

'..ended with a whole lotta love.'

-Honey, I'm home.

-You've got a feel for me.

Cos I LOVE you.

# I never thought I'd feel this way... #

'Now, that's enough of that!'

Let's not forget the Italian masterpiece here.

She's been beautiful, hasn't she?

You could afford to buy this, with all your profits.

'Next week, we're on the road with two cheeky chappies,

'Charlie Ross and Charles Hanson, as they travel from Bridlington to Rye

'on their quest for weird and wonderful antiques.

'Throughout their journey, the pair remain upbeat and chipper.'

CHARLIE: You're too good for me.

BOTH: # You're just too good to be true

# Can't take my eyes off of you... #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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