Episode 28 Antiques Road Trip

-The nation's favourite antiques experts, £200 each and one big challenge.

-I declare war!

Who can make the most money buying and selling antiques?

-Very good!

-The aim is to trade up and hope each antique turns a profit,

-but it's not as easy as you think and things don't always go to plan.

-Push!

Will they race off with a huge profit or come to a grinding halt?

This is the Antiques Road Trip!

Making friends and money everywhere they go, David Harper and David Barby are on a journey to see

-who knows the business of antiques the best.

-We've got plenty of money to spend.

-I do want to spend.

-Spend big.

-I'm cautious, David!

I've been there and lost it before.

So far this week, David Barby, also known as Dolly,

-can't seem to put a foot wrong.

-I have to applaud there. Well done.

Two auctions in, he's transformed his initial stake of £200

into a fabulous £707.95.

David Harper, meanwhile, is obsessed with both winning this contest

and buying anything to do with the female form.

She's gorgeous. I wouldn't mind taking her home.

Despite his passion, he's still in second place with £592.82.

You're slightly ahead by about 100 quid.

£100 is a lot of money.

Today the boys are trying a new tactic, basing their important decisions on their star signs.

-Right. Mars is pushing me to take a decision I am loath to take.

-Good! Make it expensive!

-Be fearless it said!

-In other words, David Barby, "Spend your money!"

-I told you Harper is obsessed.

-Which one are you?

-Cancer.

-The crab.

No, kind, caring, loving. And honest. Right, here we go.

"Life is going to get a little faster, but keeping up is key."

In other words, spend money on fantastic items, make some profit and beat Barby.

My wallet is burning a hole in my pocket. Let's spend, come on.

This week we're travelling through Ireland, north and south,

then across to Wales, ending our road trip in Llanelli.

Today we kick off in Prestatyn, gateway to the coast of north Wales.

And our journey concludes with auction number three in the town of Criccieth.

Popular with holidaymakers over the last two centuries,

sunny Prestatyn became famous for its beach, clean seas and promenade entertainers.

In fact, visiting for a cheeky bathe was considered a must for good health by city-dwelling Victorians

though its latest visitors are much more concerned with retail therapy.

-Oooh!

-Right, will you drop me off and I'm going to go shopping?

-You mean I'm going to drive this car?

-I'm going to get out and you're going to drive this car.

-It sounds simple enough.

-Thank you.

-Ohh...

-Come on.

-Where are you going? Over there?

-There.

-Best of luck, David.

-Spend the lot!

-I will!

But there's a reason why we don't let Barby drive.

This could take a while. He's good, isn't he?

So let's move on to David Harper's first shop,

aptly named Presents With A Difference. How much for that?

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hi. My gosh, this is a bit of an Aladdin's cave.

A mixture of all sorts. A bit of nostalgia, a bit of mod.

That's quite bonny.

This is quite interesting. The first item I'm drawn to is an attractive woman.

I've got a problem with attractive women. I can't help myself.

-Is there a cure?

-Oh, please. Somebody stop him.

-If there is a pill for it, I don't want it.

-How about an injection, then?

-She's lovely.

Almost looks like an ancient cameo behind some sort of glass. It's got a 3-D feel.

Birmingham, 1937.

So just at the tail end of Art Deco.

Geoff...talk to me. About that.

-Could that be horrifically cheap?

-Not horrifically, but I could do you 27.

Really? 20 quid?

-OK, I'll squeeze to 20. That's dead tight.

-Good man. OK.

Thank you very much. My first purchase of this leg.

Having managed to finally start the Triumph, David Barby is slowly making his way south,

which brings us to Rhuddlan, a rather peaceful town with a very turbulent past,

but that's because continual battles between the Britons and the Saxons

made plundering, pillaging and razing to the ground rather common.

It's also here at Rhuddlan Castle where constitutional power over Wales was given to the English

in 1284.

And speaking of Englishmen, one more has just arrived at Downsby Antiques

and is trying to strike a deal with young Philip.

I love a bit of Macintyre pottery.

It's beautiful, but it's damaged.

That...

is a firing crack underneath.

Cos when I take the lid off...

it's not through to the base.

If it's been repaired and they've used a silicon-type glaze on it,

it's not a fired glaze. It's an artificial one, false one.

-You can actually feel it on your teeth or with your tongue.

-Yeuch!

-Let's go with the gnashers.

-Watch your teeth.

-Don't worry, they're false.

No, they're not!

Now what Macintyre pottery is most famous for is launching the career of William Moorcroft,

who, as Head of the Art Pottery Department in the 1890s,

was responsible for some of the company's finest designs,

-such as this tasty example of Florian Ware?

-What's the best you can do?

30. And that's a deal.

20.

-You've docked me right down. 30.

-20. 20. It's been here a long, long time.

-You want rid of this.

-No, I don't.

-Can we split the difference at 25?

-Go on, then.

It's my first buy in Wales. That's good, I like that.

As for the other David, he's uncovered a national treasure.

It's Cliff Richard's jacket!

-In yellow!

-Geoff?

-Is Cliff's jacket for sale?

-Yes, but I won't take less than £10,000.

Ah. Well, that's the end of that conversation, then.

It brings a lot of people in to see it. Little ladies come in and stand in front to have their photo taken.

And they often buy something. It's a good publicity pitch.

-A bit out of my budget, then.

-Yeah, I wouldn't come down.

Looking to retain his lead,

David Barby's now putting together what he fancifully is calling his collection of curiosities.

You put matchsticks or toothpicks there and put them on the table.

These are typical German sort of 1930s,

that sort of period. Great wood carvers, particularly in Bavaria.

All those figures that come out of Oberammergau. This is all part and parcel of that. What's the price?

-35 for the pair.

-Oh. That's a fortune.

Time to wheel out the Barby stare.

-We can deal on that. They've been here a while.

-See what I mean? Scary.

-We can deal on that. 25.

-Works every time!

David Harper, meanwhile, has found a Chinese incense burner

and is employing his trademark tactic - talk the dealer into submission. Any old tripe will do.

Oh, Geoff, look. She's had her ear bitten off.

-Can you see?

-I didn't even notice that.

-That's a good and a bad thing.

Looking at the patination, it has aged, so that isn't recent.

That indicates it has got some age.

Can it be 25 quid?

Make it my bottom line of 35, only because you've seen that break.

-I'll do what every good dealer should do and that's compromise. Meet in the middle.

-32, innit?

-All right, I'll stand for 30.

-Good man. Thank you very much.

I think this just might be the item to watch. Well done, Harper.

Marvellous. Thanks again. Absolute delight, thank you. And your very glamorous assistant.

Down, boy, down! As for Barby's collection of curiosities, he now has a Victorian gaming ball

and he's not finished yet.

Often biscuit manufacturers, and this is a McVitie and Price of Edinburgh biscuit box,

would sell biscuits in novelty containers that often had a dual purpose.

This one here looks like a French commode. You take the biscuits out, you eat them and it's a jewel box.

So it has a multiplicity of uses.

It's really an oddity.

We all love an oddity, don't we? But this means more haggling.

-28.

-Oh, Lord.

-Here we go. Thus far, for the toothpick holders and gaming ball,

the lads have agree £26, so let the battle of the biscuit tin begin.

-Come down on that one, please.

-26 and 20, that's 46.

-For the three.

-Come down to 40, please.

-I can't.

-Yes, you can.

-No...

-Just one little word.

-You're getting cheeky.

-Just say "yes".

-No. A nicer word is "no".

-It's not.

-46. And you get a bargain for those.

-Let's go for 42, please. And it's a deal.

-45 and it's a deal.

-42.

-No, 45.

-42.

-45.

Goodness me, we'll be here all day!

43. Please...43. Thank you very much indeed.

-God, you strike a hard bargain!

-You're the hard one.

Nice dealing with you.

-Is it really?!

-Yes!

A few miles down the road, we find David Harper, who is obsessed with winning this contest.

And now he's even seeking divine intervention.

# Hallelujah! Hallelujah! #

Which brings him to St Asaph, the smallest ancient cathedral in England and Wales,

-although one of the most important.

-Chris.

-Wow, it's echoey. My gosh.

-Welcome, David.

-I'm Chris Potter, Dean of the cathedral. Good to have you here.

-Thank you. What a cathedral!

-It's amazing, isn't it?

-This astounding building has been standing since the 13th century

and was once the seat of Bishop William Morgan, who translated the Bible into Welsh,

one single act that has been credited with saving the Welsh language and its culture.

Elizabeth had commissioned it. She said people in Wales should have a bible in Welsh

largely because they were flocking to the Roman Catholic church. She wanted to encourage Protestantism

and thought, "If they've got this and read it with the English version, they'll learn English."

The opposite happened. It actually embedded the Welsh language and it's still flourishing.

So, in 1588, one thousand copies of Morgan's Welsh edition of the Old Testament were published,

one of which takes pride of place here in St Asaph.

-So this is it.

-The actual copy.

He'd finished it in 1587, then spent a whole year down in London with the printers

-because they didn't understand Welsh.

-So he was proofreading it.

-Yes.

-He had to do the whole thing there and oversee every detail.

-Doing it in just a year is quite a feat!

Faded and grubby, I'm afraid. The beginning of the New Testament. 1588.

-And we've got the lion here.

-Yes.

-And the Welsh dragon. Is that right?

-That's right, yes.

-Can you understand any of this?

-Just a little bit. I'm not a native Welsh speaker.

-So read me something interesting.

-Here is just the last bit of 1 Corinthians, 13.

The famous chapter on love. READS IN WELSH

"And these three remain: faith, hope and charity, and of these three, the greatest of these is charity."

That will tie in very nicely with my journey. Faith, hope - I live on hope -

-and we're doing it for charity.

-Perfect.

The impact of this book is undeniable, having been used to teach successive generations

how to read and write in Welsh, making William Morgan a national hero.

As our whistle-stop tour of north Wales continues,

David Barby's en route to Colwyn Bay, the second of our seaside resorts on this leg.

Also popular with the Victorians, its calling card is its pier,

built in 1900, and currently undergoing a little work.

But that's not important right now as David's found a treasure trove.

And Frank has plenty to show our man Barby,

such as this gorgeous Burmese table. Ticket price £500.

-It's Burmese.

-Is that the best you can do on that?

-I'd do it for 450.

-I can't see me getting that back in auction, can you? In a rural auction?

You... You'd have to have just that kind of customer there.

Well, David does have a wallet stuffed full of cash and it is such a fascinating piece.

Well, this is the sort of furniture that would have been brought back, late-19th, early-20th century,

by people in colonial service.

And it's more of a conventional 19th-century table,

but it's embellished in a sort of Anglo-Burmese style.

If you want different, it's there.

That's perfectly true. I want to cogitate.

Though just a few moments of cogitation later...

-I like that.

-Yes.

-That's useful.

Right. Let's talk about the two objects.

So as well as the table we also have one Arts and Crafts magazine stand. Your move, Frank.

The very best price for the two is 500 for the two.

I must confess, I'm worried about the table, whether it's going to achieve the price I pay for it.

And I think that is... It's doubtful. Frank, could you do the two for 430.

I couldn't do that, sir. As much as I'd love to sell them to you and see what they bring, I couldn't do that.

I really couldn't. 475 for the two. I'll do you a deal. And I think it'll do well.

Oh, my. What's a much-loved antiques expert to do, eh?

Have a little think, dear.

This is a difficult thing.

I love the table.

But £450 he's asking. I don't think it's going to make a profit. Oh, dear, oh, dear.

-What do I do?

-Well, as the old adage goes, if in doubt, go without.

My horoscope today said I should be fearless and brave.

Go for it.

-Good luck to you.

-Could I have your name and address, telephone number...

-I'll buy it back off you!

But for now Frank's offering a discount -

both the table and the magazine stand for £450. I'd say old Barby must be rather pleased.

What have I done?! What have I done?

I spent £450!

Oh, dear. Perhaps we'll find out in tomorrow's stars?

As a new day dawns, filled with possibilities,

the two Davids are once again looking for guidance from a newspaper astrologer.

-Have you seen your horoscope?

-What does it say? "Be cautious with your money. No impulsive buying.

-"Double the caution alert."

-Well, that's a shame.

Because David Barby's been living life on the edge, spending an unbelievable £518

on four auction lots. As for David Harper, despite talking the talk...

Is there anything wrong with it?

..he's only parted with £50 for two auction lots.

-I wonder what his horoscope has to say about that.

-"Make sure everyone is happy.

-"Stop going over old ground. Look at new turf."

-There you go.

-Cancerians. Lovely people.

-That was Piscean!

-You read the wrong one! It didn't sound like me!

Our first stop today is Llandudno, widely known as the queen of the Welsh resorts.

That's because it was yet another seaside favourite of the Victorians

and even now the traditions of the day are alive and well - Punch and Judy are still performing

and there's been continuous donkey rides for more than 125 years.

And yes, I know, that's a seagull.

Travelling at a similar speed is David Harper, who is keen to explore Trinity Trove Antiques,

which has just recently opened for business.

-Hello. Peter Wright.

-Lovely to meet you. This is your place?

-A new shop, open about seven or eight weeks.

-Have you?

-So it's a new venture. Thoroughly enjoying it so far.

-Brave man!

-Everybody's said that!

Now being a newbie, Peter's probably never dealt with the likes of David Harper before,

so I sincerely wish him all the best.

-Nice plate. It's quite basically painted. Nice butterfly there.

-Yeah.

Great potential age. Lovely colour. It has damage, but it's got the yellow painted in there.

Yellow painted on any Chinese porcelain is always quite exciting.

There are periods in Chinese history where yellow was only set aside for the Emperor or his entourage.

It was illegal to use yellow during certain periods in China. That's always a bit exciting.

I'm very confident that is at least 19th century.

It could even be 1750.

Ha! But now for the moment of truth.

Can Peter hold his own in the dog eat cat world of negotiation?

-What kind of money...?

-That's 15.

-15 quid, eh?

It's a good-looking thing. That has got a bit of mileage.

-Could that be a tenner?

-It can.

-Well, I'll have that first of all, Peter. Thank you very much.

-But we won't stop there.

-You've got that to go with it.

-I think Peter needs to toughen up,

preferably before David finds something else he wants to buy.

It looks the biz.

Backtracking just a little, David Barby's headed in the opposite direction on this road trip

in order to visit the fabulous Bodelwyddan Castle.

While there's been a house on this site since the 1460s,

the current residence is most famous for its association with the Williams family,

proud owners for more than 200 years.

-Hello.

-Hello, David. Welcome to Bodelwyddan Castle.

-And you're...?

-Kevin Mason.

-I'm so impressed, first by the exterior and then this hall.

-It's a wonderful entrance.

-And what about this floor?

-That is the coat of arms of the Williams family.

-The two foxes crossing. Something about cunning comes to mind.

-"Strength and cunning" is the motto.

That's the family motto.

By the late 1920s, the upkeep on such a grand house became too much for the Williams family

and finally they were forced to sell. So for the next 60 years it was a girls' boarding school.

And when they moved on in the 1980s, restoration began and the castle was transformed into a museum.

This is the first of our galleries.

-This is the Watts Hall of Fame.

-And what does that imply?

All of the portraits on the walls here are all by George Frederick Watts. It's his hall of fame.

-The artist who painted Hope.

-That's right. He created this hall of fame himself.

He decided who was to be the sitter.

From around 1850 he started this series and he wanted to create a record of who he felt was important.

Oh, right. I should be reading Eminent Victorians!

Watts chose subjects from a great variety of vocations.

Thus there are statesmen and military heroes, poets such as Tennyson and Browning,

not to mention philanthropists, reformers, novelists and artists.

-But wait - there's more!

-Here we are in the sculpture gallery.

Originally it was a drawing room that was created by the Williams family in the 1830s.

In the fashionable Gothic style. Ladies coming into this room

-would look at those curtains. They're absolutely incredible.

-Amazing.

They're actually reproduction from the 1980s

as part of the whole reconstruction, to act as a backdrop for the collections.

-No expense was spared.

-How much would they have cost in the 1980s?

Well, I understand that the curtains on the ground floor cost in the region of £160,000.

£160,000?! How much now? An unbelievable amount!

Well, today it would be closer to half a million pounds

and if you think that's over the top, just wait until you see the family silver.

-Here is the Williams centrepiece.

-Hence the gloves.

-Very much so.

What date is this? Mid-18th century?

This dates from 1730. It is the oldest extant example of a table centrepiece.

Oh, this is wonderful. So if I was at a dining table,

round about 1730 onwards, and they didn't have electricity or gas at that time,

the candles would have lit whatever was on offer. So piles of fruit here.

-What about these little salvers? Would they have sweet meats?

-Sweet meats...

-Candied fruits.

-And then we have condiments there.

-Mm.

-Right.

-I would point out the coat of arms in the centre.

-It matches the tile - the crossed foxes.

-Very much a family heirloom, passed from generation to generation.

-I think I could afford 150.

-Well, you might have to come forward with a little more than that.

-Kevin, thank you very much indeed.

Worth a go, I suppose. And Barby's not our only expert trying it on.

-You know who has found himself a little bit of local history.

-Welsh costumes. How interesting.

That's early 19th century, that shape. Mid-19th century.

-It looks very Puritan. So made in England.

-Yes.

But made for the tourist market in Wales.

So probably bought, under normal circumstances, by someone who might live in Staffordshire.

Goes to Wales on his holidays, circa 1850, comes back with a novelty piece to show his friends

what the Welsh look like in that far-off land.

-And he takes it to probably a mile away from where it was first made! Brilliant!

-Yes.

-What I love about these novelty things is you often see spelling mistakes.

-Yes, costumes wrong...

-Loads of things are wrong! Can I make you an offer?

-You can.

-Bear in mind the ticket price is £25.

-A tenner?

-Can you do a little bit more?

-£10.50?

-Can you do 20?

Peter's catching on. He's got Harper on the ropes.

-That's a lot more, Peter. That's 100% more!

-But I'm trying to come out in a profit as well.

-Are we nearly there?

-I'll meet you halfway. 15 quid.

-OK.

-Good man. Thank you very much.

-That's two. Two pieces.

-That's a nice piece.

-We know it's 1850.

-I think Peter's going to be all right in this business.

Our next destination, the village of Penmaenmawr.

Try saying that three times fast. Penmaenmawr, Penmaenmawr...

Unlike the other seaside resorts in north Wales, Victorian tourists holidaying here shared the landscape

with the mining industry. In this small hamlet, the hardest granite in the kingdom was produced,

though today we're just here for the shopping.

This is a little child's chair. Mid-19th century.

Nice social history. Elm construction.

And some poor little chap's botty has worn away that and on the arms where he's been gripping.

And there's the little hole there. The pot was put underneath.

-There the child could "deef"-ecate.

-Oh. I thought it was "def"-ecate.

And there we have a repair, unfortunately.

But a nice little object. I like that.

£85. Well, I think it's expensive.

Now wash your hands. It's three times what Barby wants to pay.

Time to find Mick, the unsuspecting owner. You down there? No.

You've got a child's potty chair with the most terrible repair. What's the best you can do on that?

-What were you thinking?

-I'd like to see it around 40 quid.

40?

Don't think I can do it for that.

-Are you a gambling man?

-Why?

-I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll do £60 or nothing for a toss.

Ohh...

I can't bear to look.

-What are you calling?

-Heads!

Oh, dear.

It's heads!

Dear, oh, dear! Mick, that is so good!

-Oh, my God.

-There we are.

Another satisfied customer!

I'll say.

That's one child's chair free of charge.

-I can't take it for nothing. I shall have to give you a...

-Very kind. I hope it's luckier!

-Do you want me to spit on it?

-Please. Thank you.

How disgusting!

Whilst poor old Mick isn't having the best of days, there's more bad news - here comes Harper!

He's in already!

-How did you do that?

-Welcome.

-Oh, are you the owner?

I am, indeed. I just bought the whole lot.

But not wasting any time, David Harper soon comes across this little gem.

There are a number of reasons why these miniature pieces were made, but the one I like the best is

when you get married, your father will give you a miniature chest of drawers on your wedding day.

The idea is that you go off on your honeymoon and when you get back that is replaced by a full-size one.

-What kind of money is that for me?

-What were you thinking of?

Horribly cheap would be 20 quid.

-That is silly ridiculous.

-Is it? Really ridiculous?

-Mm.

-Oh, David. Hang your head in shame, boy.

-£40.

-Put your hand...

-35.

38. Two pound for luck.

-38. Done.

-Good man.

-Thank you.

And with that it's time for the two Davids to reveal to each other what they've bought.

-Who's going to reveal first?

-You took so long, you ought to.

-Look away.

-I bet he looks back.

Harper's hologram pendant.

Right. This, basically, is a surround for a crown coin.

-It was a crown coin holder. I don't think that thing in the middle...

-Has always been there?

-I'm not certain. It's rather like a hologram.

-It is.

-They didn't have those in 1930.

It's a drown coin holder.

-It's not.

-It is!

-You've told me nothing that I didn't know already.

-Oh, hang on to your knickers.

Close your eyes. And tell me about it.

It's a coffee pot.

There's something special about it. Look, you've got M.

-Yes.

-And then a number. Moorcroft.

-Very good. What's it worth?

-I think it'll go for something around 80.

-Well found, well spotted.

-Clock your eyes on that.

-Ah, yes.

Very nice. It has no pretensions.

It's a mug that would have been bought maybe as a christening, maybe as a souvenir. Good social history.

Oh.

-This is the cabinet of curiosities.

-It's some sort of gaming ball, but I've no idea what it is.

-Can I throw it?

-Not in this shop.

Maybe outside!

-And then I couldn't resist these.

-Toothpick holders.

-Yes. Wide open mouths with little teeth ready to be picked.

-They're brilliant.

And now, courtesy of David Harper, we're off to the Orient.

Out of here are pouring the spirits

-of your ancestors and mine.

-I like that immensely.

No Chinese reign mark, but that's good. When you come across Chinese bronzes with reign marks...

-Always suspicious.

-Always.

-I think you've done so well.

-It's a very good thing.

-Should fly.

-Though the best buy would have to be...

-It's a little 19th century Windsor child's chair.

-That's right. With the little pot.

-Isn't that sweet?

-I would say you paid £35 for that.

-No, I didn't.

-20, then.

-No.

-Come on!

-A pound.

-Pardon?

-£1.

-How did you pay a pound for it?!

-Because Mick tossed a coin.

-You tossed a coin for the chair?

-Yes. And I'm not a gambler.

Well, you should be! ..OK, Barby machine.

-Talk to me.

-Ah.

Never mind that!

-This is a nice little piece of Canton porcelain. There's been a whacking great repair.

-I like it.

-Don't you like it?

-Beautifully done.

-Yes.

Jolly nice. I like the design. I can't imagine you paid a lot.

-10 quid.

-A good piece for £10.

Very stylish. Very Christopher Dresser type of period.

You're bang on. You're bang on.

-I hope it hasn't got a Christopher Dresser mark on it.

-I haven't looked!

It would be quite rare to find a maker's mark and I'd be horrified... Oh, my gosh.

-WTS and Co. The Sunburst.

-Do you know, I did not look underneath?

-You must always look underneath! It's so rare to have a maker's mark!

-It's so good.

-Right. My final item. 1870-ish.

-Yes.

-Victorian.

-Like a Scottish or Welsh chest.

-It's a Scottish chest because of that top-heavy drawer.

There's a maker's name on this!

You should always look at the handles(!)

-So that's it. All my pieces bought and shown.

-You've got some strong pieces.

Finally, David Barby's big ticket item.

Ohh!

Don't say a word to me. I love it.

-Anglo-Indian.

-I would have said this was Burmese.

Just north of India, then. It's like saying English or Scottish.

Burma has nothing to do with India.

It said in my horoscope, "Be brave. Be fearless. Choose the right road." I paid £400 for this.

-It's got to make 500.

-It's going to be a struggle.

I think that's going to bomb.

Or...make you a hundred quid.

Who needs horoscopes, eh? Harper's quite the psychic.

But what do the boys really think?

The stress of buying something is unbelievable. I had a sleepless night after I bought the table.

I do think he's potentially dug himself into an incredibly big pit.

He could have created a black hole of Calcutta.

As regards David's items, I think they're very ordinary

except for the little bronze, which I particularly like.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if that doesn't make £300-£400.

Because I spent low, I've got every opportunity in not only winning this next leg,

but overtaking the Barby machine. I think the Barby machine is in big trouble.

After kicking off in Prestatyn, David Harper and David Barby conclude the third leg

in Criccieth.

Yes, it's another seaside resort,

though when Criccieth officially became a borough in 1284,

only Englishmen were allowed to settle within its boundaries.

Welshmen did infiltrate and in 1337 alone, three had to be evicted.

Today their immigration policy is much more liberal - after all, they let these two geezers in.

Look at that scenery! Have you got your Speedos with you? Cos we're going for a swim.

-I don't think so.

-First things first. We have an auction to go to,

making our next stop Rousell's, where auctioneer Stewart Davies is ready to get this party started.

-Nice suit.

-Quiet, please, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to not-so-sunny Rousell's today.

Lot number one is a selection of baskets...

David Barby started this leg with £707.95

and seems to have gone quite mad, spending £519 on five auction lots.

As for David Harper, he began with £592.82 and parted with the more moderate sum of £113,

also for five lots.

Now let the auction begin.

First up, it's David Harper's 19th century Chinese enamel plate.

Here we go. Anything Chinese is millions.

What have you got? 6. 8. 10. 12.

15. £15 with the hat here. I've got 16.

18. 20. 22.

25. 28.

£28. Are you all sure at 28? Number 69.

There goes David's plans for an early retirement.

-I'd have bought it, if that's some consolation.

-Great consolation(!)

Chin up, Harper. It's not millions, but a profit.

The joys of auctions.

Next it's Barby's Arts and Crafts magazine stand.

30 I have. At £30. And 5.

40. £40. 5. 50. 55.

60. 5. 70. £70 on the back.

-Am I missing anybody now? £70 up the back. Sold at 70.

-It's a trickle.

Well, perhaps more of a spurt than a trickle.

Meanwhile, David Harper's gambling on Chinese collectables.

His next lot, this rather ornate incense burner.

20 I'm bid. £20 I have. 25.

30. At £30 only. This is a bargain!

I'll take 2. 32. 35.

-Come on!

-At £35 only and going at 35.

-No, no...

What happened there, David?

David, what happened?

Oh, dearie me. After commission, that's all hope of a profit up in smoke.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Time now for David Barby's collection of curiosities,

which includes this novelty biscuit tin, one gaming ball and a pair of grotesque toothpick holders.

Have we got 50 to start? £50.

-Oh, no!

-55. 60. The toothpick holders are worth more! 65. 70.

£70. £70 only. 75. At £75.

-This is so cheap.

-Sold at £75.

Not a bad return, though I think Barby was hoping for more. As usual.

-Don't smile.

-Why would I...? I'd be smiling if it sold for 20!

So far china hasn't done David Harper any favours,

but perhaps this Staffordshire mug can finally excite the locals.

At £10. 12. 15. 18. 20. 22. 25.

28. 30. £30 up there. At £30.

£30. I'm selling it, then, at £30.

Well done, David! You've doubled your money.

David Barby's Moorcroft jug is next. It's a quality piece.

Let's hope he gets a price to match.

-Should be in excess of £100.

-Yes!

-Have you got 80? 50 I'm bid.

£50. 60. 70. £80 I've got.

-At £80. £80. I think it's a bargain.

-So do I!

-85. 90.

-95.

-Oh...

-100.

-£100 I've got.

-That's a fabulous £75 profit before commission

and puts Barby firmly in the lead.

David Barby, well found. Well found.

Looking to catapult himself into first place,

-David H's next great hope is this miniature walnut chest.

-£50? 30 bid.

At £30. 5. 40. 5. 50. 5. 60.

5. 70. 5. 80. 5. 90.

-100. And 10. Any more?

-Come on...

-£110.

Heavens above! That's £72 profit before commission. Someone's happy.

-That's good.

-Thank you very much.

Now this HAS to clear a profit. A child's chair with somewhere to put the botty.

-264.

-That really is lovely.

-You only paid a pound.

No need to make an announcement!

£20 I'm bid. At £20. 25. 28.

-30. £30. 32. 35.

-No, stop...

-At £35.

Bargain basement. £35 and sold at 35. 102.

38 million per cent profit!

Mm, someone's good at mathematics(!)

Moving on to David Harper's 1937 hologram pendant,

all I have to say is...holograms were invented 10 years later.

20 I'm bid. At £20. Take me to 5. 25. 30.

At £35, fresh bidding. The ladies are out. £35.

-Come on.

-Sold at £35.

And there's a wee bit of profit in that, too.

Last, but by no means least, it's David Barby's Burmese table.

Thanks to the advice of a newspaper astrologer, he spent £400 on it.

And he's looking worried.

I can't bear the suspense.

-Yes, and neither can we.

-I have got various bids here.

I can start at £350. 350. I've got 360.

370. At £370, it's here. At 370.

-I think this is cheap.

-It IS cheap.

Are you sure? I'll take 5. 375.

At 375. It's like drawing teeth. At 375.

-Any more? At 375.

-Ohh!

-How do you feel?

-Scorched.

-It could have been worse.

Well, not much worse. That's a £25 loss, even before commission.

Well, David Barby, that's it. Another one done, dusted.

-We now need to do some figures.

-I have learnt my lesson.

-You were very brave. It's the best item.

-Well done, you. A cup of tea, on me.

-Something stronger!

So, "Who's won?" you ask.

Well, Harper thinks it's him. Obviously.

He started this leg with £592.82

and made a profit of £82.16,

giving him a new total of £674.98.

David Barby started with £707.95

and made a mere £18.10 profit,

but even though he's lost on this round, he hangs narrowly onto his lead

with £726.05.

You escaped by the skin of your teeth, David Barby!

But it was good fun!

Join us tomorrow when David Barby minds his language.

ATTEMPTS WELSH

I don't think you'd get very far!

And David Harper minds the cash.

I'd give you 200 quid for that.

Subtitles by Subtext for Red Bee Media Ltd - 2011

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