Episode 5 Antiques Road Trip


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Episode 5

Antiques experts compete to make the most money at auction. Philip Serrell and Jonathan Pratt look for antiques to take them to auction in Lincoln and Wilmslow.


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The nation's favourite antiques experts,

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-£200 each and one big challenge.

-Do I buy you?

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Who can make the most money buying and selling antiques across the UK?

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-The aim is to trade up and hope each antique turns a profit.

-Oh!

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-But it's not as easy as it looks and dreams can end in tatters.

-60.

-Get out of here!

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-So will it be the fast lane to success or the slow road to bankruptcy?

-I want to go cry!

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This is the Antiques Road Trip!

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Yeah!

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We're on the road again in a cool 1965 Triumph TR4

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with a fine pair of auctioneers - Philip Serrell and Jonathan Pratt.

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Philip Serrell is an old hand at this antiques road tripping. He won't mind me saying that.

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A man who's never afraid to say it like it is.

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-I'd like to give you 10 quid for that. 70 for the two.

-How much?!

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Ha ha! But Philip doesn't like to travel alone, so he's brought his best man with him,

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bright young spark Jonathan Pratt.

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You're mad! Absolutely mad.

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But sadly Jonathan has not shined on the auction field.

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In fact, he's lost lots and lots of money.

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And from his original £200,

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Jonathan has a mere £126.72 to stage a fightback with.

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So, in finer fettle, Philip has home-grown his £200

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to a blossoming £366.62 to take out on the road once more.

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Well, JP, how do you reckon it's gone so far?

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-Do you really want me to answer that question honestly?

-No. Some things in life don't need asking.

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Our chaps are journeying all the way from Cockermouth to Wilmslow.

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On this leg, they're sadly leaving gorgeous Donny, heading to a crunch auction in Lincoln.

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Pretty, painterly Gainsborough is the first pin in our map.

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Gainsborough's been here for a bit, with a market held every Tuesday

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for about 800 years or so, give or take a century.

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-Is this it?

-Squeeze in.

-That looks fabulous.

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We could have some fun in here.

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-Almost got very excited then.

-I did.

-But that's been the story of my life for a long while.

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Cheer up. You lucky chaps have safely landed in Gainsborough's wonderful Pilgrim Antiques

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with Michael and...Michael here to help.

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-If there's no price, does it mean it's free?

-It does.

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So these would have been produced round about what?

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-18...80? 1890?

-I would think so, yes.

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They're Chinese and on rice paper.

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-That is such a good subject. I know it's macabre.

-Macabre they are, but fascinating for it.

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Possibly from the Chinese Boxer Rebellion at the turn of the 20th century.

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-£75 the lot.

-Are your prices negotiable at all?

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-Within reason.

-OK.

-Michael, you're about to live to regret those words, old fruit.

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I think that's fantastic. I'm going to take a closer look.

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Oh, lord. I've kicked the stand out of the way now.

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-How much is that? The ticket price?

-50 quid.

-50 quid?

-Yeah.

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It's a bargain!

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My geography's never been that special,

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but it says Toulouse. I think we'll find that's in France.

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Oui. C'est vrai, Philip.

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This handsome instrument dates from the late 19th or early 20th century, but is it a euphonium,

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a tuba or a vase?

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I'm interested in that and the macabre Chinese things.

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-Is it one deal for the two?

-No, no. Two separate deals.

-How's that going to work?

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-Well, try us.

-Really? Right, you ready for this, then?

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-OK, that's the barter table, that is.

-Yes.

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Would that buy each of them?

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-No.

-He's not said no yet.

-I certainly will.

-Oh, he's just said no.

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-Well, there we are, then. How's that? 30 quid apiece.

-Nearly there. Better keep going.

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-Forty quid apiece. That's the best I can do.

-That's OK for that.

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-Because it's a special event and we don't see you very often...

-You don't want to, either!

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A double-headed triumph for Philip.

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£40 for the torture pictures and another £40 for the big brass... instrument.

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Jonathan must be wondering what he's missed. Time, though, for him to make his own sweet music.

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It's a little engraving from the early part of the 20th century.

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Pencil signed, You can see the plate mark here. Nice and original.

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It's quite a skill to do this. It looks like an east coast harbour. Kind of touristy.

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And it's only £7.50. Nice and cheap.

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Certainly an attractive, reasonably priced picture.

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And you need all the inexpensive help you can get today.

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I was going past the engraving to get to this little chap.

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It's quite fun. A sort of 1930s watercolour of a cartoon character

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who's... I forget the name of the dog, but it's a character you see.

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It's Bonzo! Dreamt up in the 1920s by British artist George E Studdy.

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He's listening to an old valve radio, singing his little heart out.

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They're only asking a tenner for that. I'm going to try to get them both, I think.

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But en route to the counter, Jonathan spots something dishy.

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It's majolica. Late 19th century.

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But that mark there, which is that little patch,

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I believe is...is, um... What's his name?

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-His name is...

-George Jones?

-Oh, blimey. I've forgotten it.

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George Jones and Sons were famous Stoke-on-Trent potters from the 1860s to the 1950s.

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And this unusual dish has a ticket price of £75, but possibly something missing.

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Out of interest, how much is this?

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It's... Well, it has problems.

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-Yeah.

-Yes.

-But don't we all?

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-That's true.

-So it would have had a rack or something inside it?

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-Handles.

-Handles there. So they've gone. What's the best price on it?

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-65?

-Not something you'd do for 40.

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-No.

-Am I close?

-No.

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LAUGHTER

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Interesting new tactic here - pretending to browse.

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-I like it.

-45?

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-You're closer.

-Closer to 65, yeah!

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-£55?

-Yeah, go on.

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Go on, yes.

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-I'll say thank you on that one.

-Right. You're welcome.

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There's two other things.

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-That little chap there. Could you take a fiver for it?

-No problem.

-Brilliant.

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-No problem. Would you take a fiver for the other one?

-How much is on it?

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-Slightly cheeky.

-You are.

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-You're asking a tenner.

-Seven.

-I'm going to take that as well.

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JP, you are a buying machine this morning. Shame you're nearly out of money.

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And now, well, the road ahead beckons.

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I'm pilot, you're navigator. Have you got us lost again?

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Opened in the 1980s, the Astra Antiques Centre became one of the largest in Europe.

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However, its former life was RAF Bomber Command in WWII, home to the massive Lancaster Bombers,

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hence the size. Today with the many, many dealers stationed here,

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heroic Barry is on hand to help.

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So...we've got an artist's little easel. That's fantastic.

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And this would have been an oil paint box. It is old.

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-Just old.

-I'm old.

-1900, 1920.

-Yeah, and this is... You have little compartments here

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for all your different paints. Winsor and Newton label, which I love.

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Winsor and Newton have made artists' materials since 1832,

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even during the Second World War when many paint colours were requisitioned by the RAF

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for map and reconnaissance work. This set is much earlier with a current asking price of just £28.

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I could become Pablo Serrell, couldn't I?

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-What'll you paint?

-I can do walls and ceilings.

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-This is a powder compact.

-It is.

-I could do with some of that.

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Well, you could blush when your eye catches the £95 price tag.

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Fortunately, today tortoiseshell trading is regulated by international treaty,

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but it's been used for veneering all sorts of objects for over 400 years.

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-We've got the hallmarks there. Where would that be? 1920s?

-'20s.

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-We've got a whomping great crack there.

-There it is.

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-In my eyes, I'd like to buy the two for 30, 35 quid.

-We're not going to get that low I don't think.

-No?

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Bold offer, Phil, but maybe try something else, eh?

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-Let me see what happens. There's 30 quid. How does that look?

-Well, keep them coming...

-What?!

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-..and we'll get somewhere near!

-Let's both have a day out.

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-45 quid.

-Go on.

-You're a gentleman.

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Another fine pair of items skilfully secured by Squadron Leader Serrell

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as he heads heroically on to his next mission.

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Philip and Jonathan regroup and set off for the important market town of Grantham.

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# Here we are again Happy as can be... #

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Oi! Oi!

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Indeed! Watch out for falling fruit and bombs overhead.

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Grantham provided schooling for the young Sir Isaac Newton, the bloke with the apple and gravitas,

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and later housed the Bomber Command centre for those rather famous Dambuster raids during WWII.

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Thank you, Philip. Nicely driven.

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But the only thing being dropped off today is Jonathan Pratt outside the fine Belvoir Antiques.

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As I say, Philip,

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I'm here... I'm in it to win it.

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-Morning!

-Morning!

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The lovely, lovely Jessica is just longing to hear JP's sad, sad story.

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I've had a little bit of bad luck

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-and I'm now sitting down with nearly half of what I started, which is not very good.

-OK.

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-But it does mean I have to be shrewd.

-I'm sure we'll be able to find something.

-Good.

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-What about a tea set?

-A tea service.

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Yes!

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Perhaps Jonathan could turn his attention to the modernist silver-plated five-piece tea set,

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made by Viners of Sheffield with a ticket price of £45. It looks more or less 1930s.

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And shiny.

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I know it's exactly 1930s because that little finial there, that sort of step shape,

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is Art Deco. If you had a strong Art Deco tea service, it would be worth £1,000 in silver plate.

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But this is just a nice little pretty border on the top.

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-How much is the tea service?

-Well, as a really special deal I could do it for £25.

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But that's just for you.

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Well, that's an offer that's hard to resist. Right, Jonathan?

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-So this is a five-piece? Is there a sugar bowl?

-Yes.

-I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth!

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Thank you very much! £25.

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-Is the tray with it?

-Yes.

-Yay! That's great.

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Well, that's tres, tres bon and so is the next stop for Philip Serrell.

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Veteran collector Richard is waiting to share his unusual enthusiasm -

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over 1,500 dearly owned vintage beer trays

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from the 1870s to the 1970s and sourced over the last 28 years. Sorry, Philip -

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this isn't actually a pub.

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There's a lot of breweriana collectors,

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so they collect jugs and show cards and match strikers and mirrors,

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but I was the first person to specifically collect trays. Lots of people collect beer bottles.

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For them, it's their passion, the greatest thing on God's earth,

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but for me, beer bottles, you can't actually see the colouring and the beauty. With trays,

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-you can see the splendid colours.

-When did they start making beer trays?

-The earliest beer trays,

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in my opinion, are probably around 1870. So these are all the oldest, the old enamel trays, brass, copper.

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You think now of all the television advertising and newspaper advertising.

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I suppose in the heyday of these trays, this was the only source of advertising your wares.

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Indeed it was. And the same design flair went into designing beer trays as into packaging and sign making.

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Breweries large and small employed design teams, taking inspiration from Art Nouveau

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and propaganda posters to persuade us Brits to drink more beer,

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as if we needed any persuading.

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They're officially called waiter trays. You'd order your beer and they'd take your tray with the beer

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to you as a customer, and you'd take your beer off and there it was.

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-Is that like an ashtray?

-No, actually it's the only tray that I have with a little change tray

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actually on the tray. If there's any change, they put it in here.

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These handsome examples of great British design heritage are, sadly, today hard to come by

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so Richard's fine, rare collection has been hard won in time and money.

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If that one came on the market today and it was one I hadn't got, I'd probably pay 500 quid.

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-£500 for a beer tray.

-£500. But that's exceptional.

-Holy shamola!

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Something like that from Blackford, near Perth in Scotland, about 1920.

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-Very small brewery.

-Nearly 100 years old.

-Extremely rare.

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-So how many pubs might they have had?

-I'd say a handful, at most.

-What interests me, then, is

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why would they go to the trouble? These trays must cost more than the beer cost to make.

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I think it was just the pride of having some advertising.

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If the big boys do it, you do it.

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Amazingly, there used to be thousands of independent breweries,

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some supplying a mere handful of pubs. Most went out of business in the 1950s and '60s,

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either closed or engulfed by the big, corporate brewers.

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But these promotional trays once played an important role in keeping bespoke beers popular,

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hence the one-upmanship in design and beauty. No wonder passionate collectors can't resist them.

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Could you?

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What's the most recent tray you've bought?

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Well, I tell you, that's an amazing question.

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I've been after a local brewery in Grantham for 20-odd years.

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I've written newspaper articles, magazine articles and never come across the tray, but this week

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-I've managed to purchase a tray that I've been looking for. This one here.

-This is Mowbray's.

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Yeah. Mowbray's went out in 1952, so this is a pre-war tray,

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about 1938, '39.

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-I've had a fabulous time. Thanks very much.

-Cheers.

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Time you reunited with your rival.

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-What time do you call this, eh?!

-It's WET time, that's what! I'm getting soaked!

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This thing's got its own foot spa.

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Do you know, sometimes it's just nicer to shop together, isn't it?

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You take the low road, I'll take the high road.

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The Notions Antiques Centre plays host to their final frantic search,

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with Sharon on hand to help with antiques and soft furnishings and things.

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-What would you use this for? A very posh picnic.

-A bedspread or a nice throw.

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I like this, Sharon.

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Crewelwork is a type of chunky, decorative wool embroidery,

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dating back centuries.

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It was extremely popular in the 17th century and revived in the late 1960s.

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-My guess is there's not much age to this. 30, 40 years?

-Yeah.

-But it's trying to look 19th century.

-Yeah.

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It's very decorative.

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-You've got £2.40 on here.

-I have not!

-Oh, £24. Sorry, my mistake.

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-Very reasonably priced.

-It is. I'm going to make you one offer and that's it, my love.

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-Do you want to sit down?

-Oh, is it that bad?

-No, it's fair. I'd like to give you 15 quid.

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-Go on, then.

-You're an angel. I think that's really nice.

-Yeah.

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An unusual purchase for Philip.

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He never ceases to surprise us. But whilst Phil bags a blanket,

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could someone be about to throw in the towel?

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Maybe I'm just going to keep it to the four objects I've got. I've got four good objects.

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We'll see about that!

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Philip started today's show with £366.62 and spent £140

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on five auction lots...

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..a set of Chinese torture paintings, an artist's palette,

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a powder box, possibly tortoiseshell,

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a euphonium, which is actually a tuba,

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and a crewelwork embroidered blanket.

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Jonathan looked at his meagre £126.72

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and spent a thoroughly heroic £92 on four auction lots,

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an engraving of a fishing port,

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a handle-less strawberry dish,

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an Art Deco tea service

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and a Bonzo the dog watercolour.

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Now be honest, Philip, what do you really think of Jonathan's chances?

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I think his silver tea set is probably later than he thinks it is.

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But he's so right because it's surely got to make him a profit.

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If that's the case, I'm moving back to £200, where my reputation is hanging by a thin thread.

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It certainly is, Jonathan. So let's get you to auction,

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without hesitation, repetition or deviation.

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The road trip gets moving once more, leading our chaps away.

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Next stop is big, handsome Lincoln.

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They call Lincoln the uphill, downhill town, built as it is in a gap in the Lincoln Cliff,

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all centred on magnificent Lincoln cathedral, first built in 1092, don't you know?

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Today is, you guessed it, auction day.

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Our would-be winners arrive feeling fresh and frisky. Well, fresh at least.

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Well, Philip...

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Well, I wish us both the best, JP.

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Lincoln's Unique Auctions have been selling antiques and all sorts since 2006.

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Today's gavel-basher is Terry Woodcock.

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So we can safely say that Jonathan

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really needs his items to fly this day.

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Time to sit uncomfortably.

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The auction is about to begin.

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First to face the bidders is Philip's artist's palette.

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Who'll start me at £20? 10, then.

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Thank you. 10 I've got there.

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12. 14. At 16.

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And 18. Fresh bid there.

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And 20. And 2.

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No at 22. I can come to you now. 24.

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26. 28. And 30.

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No? Shakes the head. At £30. And I'm selling it at £30.

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-That's a good result!

-Staggered.

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Don't act so surprised. It's a very nice item.

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Now Jonathan's first hopeful. His fishing port engraving awaits the bidders.

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£8. Low figure. I'm looking for 10. 10. And 12. At 12.

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And 14. At £14. 16, fresh bid. At 18. At £18.

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-And 20. At £20.

-Go on, go on, go on.

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Who's shouting at me? It's yours at 20. At 20, it's yours.

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And from high five to low quality.

0:22:000:22:03

Philip's unfortunate powder box is up next. Let's hope nobody notices it's not tortoiseshell.

0:22:030:22:11

It's in the catalogue as tortoiseshell, but it's not.

0:22:110:22:15

-Oh, dear.

-Celluloid?

-And it's cracked. £10 there.

0:22:150:22:19

12. 14. 16.

0:22:190:22:22

18. 20.

0:22:220:22:25

22. No, at 22 I've got there.

0:22:250:22:27

22 it is. Have you all done? 22.

0:22:270:22:31

A rather sad loss for Philip, but let's move swiftly on.

0:22:310:22:36

Jonathan's striking strawberry dish is just waiting to bear fruit.

0:22:360:22:40

Let's hope no one spots the missing handles.

0:22:400:22:44

Lacking the handles. Not really noticeable, though.

0:22:440:22:47

-Thank you.

-There it is.

0:22:470:22:50

And I've got to start it with me at a low start of £20.

0:22:500:22:55

-Ouch.

-At 20. I'm looking for 22. At £20.

0:22:550:22:58

22. 24. 26.

0:22:580:23:01

28. And 30. And 2.

0:23:010:23:03

32, he shakes his head. At 32. 34, fresh bid.

0:23:030:23:07

36. 38. And 40. And 2.

0:23:070:23:11

44. 46. 46, standing in the doorway.

0:23:110:23:16

-I thought it would make a little more.

-So did I!

-Me, too, actually.

0:23:160:23:22

-At £46. Sold at 46.

-I do think you're unlucky there.

0:23:220:23:27

I do.

0:23:270:23:29

Jonathan's just speechless after that.

0:23:300:23:34

Next is Philip's euphonium. Or is it?

0:23:340:23:37

Ah, we've got the tuba now! There it is.

0:23:370:23:40

We checked the French manufacturers and they were one of the best.

0:23:400:23:45

-You buy it, then.

-It's a tuba.

0:23:450:23:50

-Is it?

-Not a euphonium. Who'll start me at £30?

0:23:500:23:53

Thank you. £30. I'm looking for 35.

0:23:530:23:57

And 5 at the back. And 40.

0:23:570:24:00

And 5. No?

0:24:000:24:02

-At 45 I've got at the back there. I thought it'd make a lot more.

-I hoped it would!

0:24:020:24:07

At £45, going in the back corner. 45 it is.

0:24:070:24:11

-At least we know it's a tuba now!

-That's the spirit.

0:24:110:24:14

Now let's try Jonathan's Art Deco tea service. Good luck...

0:24:140:24:19

Start me at 20. Thank you. 20.

0:24:190:24:22

At 20. I'm looking for 22. 22, thank you. 24. 26.

0:24:220:24:27

28. And 30. And 2.

0:24:270:24:30

-Don't stop.

-34.

-Thank you.

0:24:300:24:33

36, fresh bid. At 36. 38.

0:24:330:24:37

And 40.

0:24:370:24:40

-Are you sure?

-One more.

-Go on, one more.

0:24:400:24:45

I'll take it. 41. 42.

0:24:450:24:48

And for your cheek, I'll take 43 now. 43, thank you.

0:24:480:24:53

44. I'll give you the pound if you go 45.

0:24:530:24:58

I've got 44 at the back. Back in at 45. I won't give YOU the pound!

0:24:580:25:02

-He's working the room now.

-46.

0:25:020:25:05

-Will it go above £46?

-47, thank you.

0:25:050:25:09

-Yes!

-48 I've got, right at the back. And selling at 48.

0:25:090:25:13

-Yours at 48.

-Thank you very much.

0:25:130:25:18

Whose was it?

0:25:180:25:20

Well done, Jonathan. Now let's get all cosy, eh?

0:25:220:25:27

Nice crewel throw. I'm starting it with me at £25.

0:25:270:25:32

I'm hoping it makes a lot more. At £25 I have. 25. 30.

0:25:320:25:37

5. 40.

0:25:370:25:39

5. No, it's still 45 with my commission buyer.

0:25:390:25:42

At 45. Have you all done? It's going at 45. All out. 45.

0:25:420:25:47

-Very good, Philip.

-Very good, indeed.

0:25:470:25:51

Now let's see what Bonzo can do for Jonathan.

0:25:510:25:55

22. 24. 26.

0:25:550:25:58

What do you mean, no?

0:25:580:26:00

-What do you mean, no?

-All right, settle down.

-28, fresh bid.

0:26:000:26:05

And 30. At 30. Have you all done at £30? And selling.

0:26:050:26:09

The boy is back.

0:26:100:26:13

He certainly is. And how nice, finally, this week to see Jonathan actually making some profits.

0:26:130:26:19

So as today's final lot is offered,

0:26:190:26:24

who will be victorious and who's for the chop...chop?

0:26:240:26:28

There they are. Very unusual. They could be worth quite a lot.

0:26:280:26:32

Who'll start me at £100? 30 to get on, surely. 30 I have.

0:26:320:26:37

At £30. I'm looking for 5. 35. 40.

0:26:370:26:42

At £40. That's not £10 each. At £40.

0:26:420:26:46

42, thank you. At £42. I think they should be a lot more money than this.

0:26:460:26:52

Fresh bid. 44.

0:26:520:26:54

6.

0:26:540:26:56

-48, back in.

-Oh, God.

-At 48. At 48.

0:26:560:27:00

Have you all finished? At the back at 48. A bargain of the day.

0:27:000:27:05

At £48.

0:27:050:27:07

A paltry profit for Philip, but how is that sitting with Jonathan?

0:27:070:27:12

-I've won an auction! Yes!

-And you heard it first here, folks.

-I think so.

0:27:120:27:18

After paying auction costs, Philip's stake of £366.62

0:27:180:27:25

made a profit of £15.80.

0:27:250:27:28

And so his wallet has further inflated

0:27:280:27:32

to a big, bouncy, bulging total of £382.42. Keep smiling, Phil.

0:27:320:27:39

Jonathan began with a sow's ear of £126.72,

0:27:410:27:46

but he made a fine silk purse of his day -

0:27:460:27:50

a princely profit of £26.08.

0:27:500:27:53

Jonathan faces the world refreshed with £152.80.

0:27:530:27:59

-Yes!

-And, better still, he wins the day.

0:28:010:28:06

-# I'm in the money! # I'm on the up, Phil.

-We've done 140 miles, spent 40 hours shopping,

0:28:060:28:13

-and between us we've made about 40 quid. It's a pound an hour.

-You ain't seen nothing yet.

0:28:130:28:19

Ha ha! And that's fighting talk.

0:28:190:28:22

So far, Philip's the undisputed champion of this road trip,

0:28:220:28:26

which means this is Jonathan Pratt's last chance.

0:28:260:28:32

But just one purchase can change everything.

0:28:320:28:37

I'm still under my budget, but I'm going to come back now.

0:28:370:28:41

Oh, here we go again! Here we go again!

0:28:410:28:44

Our chaps have journeyed all the way from Cockermouth in Cumbria

0:28:450:28:49

and their road trip ends with one last auction in Wilmslow,

0:28:490:28:53

but, today's first shop, big, bad Sheffield.

0:28:530:28:56

Like Rome, built on seven hills.

0:28:560:28:58

I suppose we ought to find lots of cutlery in Sheffield.

0:28:580:29:02

-We've got two footy teams.

-Uh-huh.

0:29:020:29:04

-We've got The Full Monty.

-Uh-huh.

-What else have we got?

0:29:040:29:08

Antique shops, Philip!

0:29:080:29:09

Antique shops - the first of which is Langtons.

0:29:090:29:13

Come on, then, matey. Let's go and have a look.

0:29:130:29:17

And there's plenty to see, for this family business has been going since 1870

0:29:170:29:21

and displays the wares of more than 50 different dealers.

0:29:210:29:25

-Wow, this place is massive, isn't it?

-I've got my mojo back, Philip.

0:29:270:29:30

Well, Jonathan, I'm glad to hear it,

0:29:300:29:33

because the Silver Fox has already spotted something that tickles his fancy.

0:29:330:29:38

I love me cricket.

0:29:380:29:39

This is the days - 1954.

0:29:420:29:45

These are interesting, these -

0:29:450:29:46

they're little facsimile cricket bats

0:29:460:29:50

and if you went to Lord's, Trent Bridge, the Oval, Headingley, or wherever,

0:29:500:29:54

you bought one of these from the shop.

0:29:540:29:56

This is by Gunn & Moore in Nottingham, so there's every chance it's from Trent Bridge.

0:29:560:30:01

And you might have paid ten shillings, as a souvenir.

0:30:010:30:05

There's some fantastic names here.

0:30:050:30:07

There's Len Hutton, Peter May, Bill Edrich.

0:30:070:30:10

I like those. An auctioneer would estimate those at £30 to £50,

0:30:100:30:14

which means I have to buy it for about 20 quid.

0:30:140:30:17

Watch out, Ian. The Fox is one very sly negotiator.

0:30:170:30:22

I'm looking for £50 on the pair.

0:30:220:30:23

I can't get close to that.

0:30:230:30:26

I want to buy them off you, but I can't get close to that.

0:30:260:30:29

-I really can't.

-You're offering me...?

-Like...20 quid for the two.

0:30:290:30:35

And I can tell just by the way you're scrunching your face there,

0:30:350:30:39

-you know it's low.

-Oh, it is!

0:30:390:30:41

£40. £40, we have a deal.

0:30:410:30:44

I can't do that. I'll meet you halfway.

0:30:450:30:48

-30 quid, that's my best shout. Really is my best shout.

-£30...

0:30:480:30:52

-£30 the two and I'll shake your hand now.

-I'll shake on that.

-You're a gentleman.

0:30:520:30:56

So, we're one purchase in.

0:30:560:30:59

Like that. Straight bat, left elbow up.

0:30:590:31:02

I think Jonathan might just get ready to make another,

0:31:020:31:05

but can he persuade Pauline to drop her prices?

0:31:050:31:10

I like these little leather hatboxes. There's no hat inside, but...

0:31:100:31:14

you've got a nice little liner, which is all padded.

0:31:140:31:18

These are actually original and nice condition.

0:31:180:31:21

What would be the best price on that, for you?

0:31:210:31:25

What have I got on it?

0:31:250:31:26

-I think you're asking 50-something.

-58.

0:31:260:31:29

Um...48?

0:31:290:31:31

It needs a bit of work. Um...

0:31:310:31:34

I was thinking more along the lines of £35.

0:31:340:31:37

All right, 35.

0:31:390:31:41

Goodness me, that was easy! Peanut butter legs!

0:31:410:31:44

But it's the kind of item that will propel you into the lead, won't it, Jonathan?

0:31:440:31:48

-I think, I...

-Well, is it?

0:31:480:31:52

I think... Yes, I'm going to go for that. I think that's a nice object.

0:31:520:31:56

Mm, decisive(!)

0:31:560:31:57

And just a few feet away, Philip's exploring his musical side.

0:31:570:32:02

So, cover your ears...

0:32:020:32:04

round about...now.

0:32:040:32:07

DISCORDANT MUSIC

0:32:070:32:09

I haven't got a clue what that's worth. Not the first idea.

0:32:110:32:15

Not a clue! Can we go and put it down...?

0:32:150:32:18

That's a good idea. Now, it may interest you to know

0:32:180:32:22

that whilst the accordion was invented in Berlin in 1822,

0:32:220:32:25

it actually originates from a Chinese instrument called a sheng,

0:32:250:32:29

which is, in fact, 4,000 years old.

0:32:290:32:33

-Richard, I think that's £50 to £80. What could buy that?

-80 quid?

0:32:330:32:37

You're getting closer to it.

0:32:370:32:39

70.

0:32:390:32:40

I'll give you 50 quid for it.

0:32:400:32:43

Split the difference. 60.

0:32:430:32:45

The only reason I'm doing it is I bought a concertina before and it did me proud.

0:32:450:32:49

I'll give you £55 and that's my best shot.

0:32:490:32:51

-That's fine.

-You're a gentleman, Richard. What on Earth have I done?!

0:32:510:32:55

Well, you are the king of quirk, Philip.

0:32:550:32:57

Why have I...? What have you done, selling me that?

0:32:570:33:00

Mind you, if you think the accordion's an unusual choice,

0:33:000:33:03

look at what Jonathan wants to buy -

0:33:030:33:05

one 1950s mannequin, being sold by young Jill.

0:33:050:33:10

-You've ripped her arms off!

-I'm sorry, they fell off.

0:33:100:33:14

I wasn't so much manhandling her, I was lifting her up to see what the chair was like.

0:33:140:33:18

That's my excuse anyway. Anyway, then her arms fell off.

0:33:180:33:22

-I think there is a price on her...

-There is. It was here.

0:33:220:33:25

It was £45.

0:33:250:33:26

Seriously, he's not going to buy that, is he?!

0:33:260:33:29

-Um...

-40 quid.

0:33:290:33:32

30?

0:33:320:33:33

I'll be happy with 30.

0:33:350:33:36

32.

0:33:360:33:38

Crikey. Er, 32?

0:33:380:33:40

Oh...I'm not going to haggle. Yes, that's fine.

0:33:400:33:43

-32.

-£32, brilliant.

0:33:430:33:45

Now, does she have a name?

0:33:450:33:46

Does she have a name? Um, no.

0:33:460:33:48

-No, but you can name her.

-I was going to.

0:33:480:33:51

I thought we could give her a name. Maybe something French, exotic.

0:33:510:33:56

-I don't know why, but I thought she was a Clarissa.

-Then it's Clarissa.

0:33:560:33:59

Just one problem here...

0:33:590:34:01

pretty frock not included.

0:34:010:34:03

So, Jonathan needs to buy something for Clarissa to wear.

0:34:030:34:07

The exact thing for you. This little number.

0:34:070:34:10

1960s, baby doll, Marks & Spencer's.

0:34:100:34:13

A fiver.

0:34:130:34:15

-My word.

-She'll look a smart girl in that.

-She'll look great.

0:34:150:34:20

What do you know about frocks, Jonathan?

0:34:200:34:23

Anyway, £37 all in and I just hope he knows what he's doing.

0:34:230:34:27

# Just the two of us... #

0:34:270:34:29

Ooh, Philip's changed(!)

0:34:290:34:31

It's nicer having you sitting next to me than Phil. You're much better-looking.

0:34:310:34:34

Yeah, that's cos she's a dummy.

0:34:340:34:36

Our next stop is Chesterfield,

0:34:360:34:40

a destination that began life as a Roman fort, circa 70 AD,

0:34:400:34:45

and eventually blossomed into a market town.

0:34:450:34:48

Chesterfield is also renowned for its crooked church spire,

0:34:500:34:55

a 14th-century addition which, according to one folklore,

0:34:550:34:58

is crooked because a local blacksmith mis-shoed the Devil,

0:34:580:35:01

who then leaped over the spire in pain and knocked it out of shape.

0:35:010:35:04

Ha! If you believe that, you'll believe anything.

0:35:040:35:07

A few miles down the road, young Pratt still has £80 burning a hole in his pocket

0:35:070:35:12

and is thinking of giving it, at least some of it, to our Marlene, in her shop.

0:35:120:35:17

-What a lovely shop!

-I try and pack it with a lot of things that people could be interested in.

-Yeah.

0:35:170:35:22

And I like to let them have a look round and a rummage.

0:35:220:35:25

Mm. And, after Jonathan's had a bit of a rummage...

0:35:250:35:29

..he's happy to report he has several candidates for his next purchase.

0:35:320:35:36

I quite like this little chap here. It kind of looks out of place, but...

0:35:360:35:40

Little children's food bowl, your A-B-C around the outside.

0:35:400:35:45

They can eat all their food and get to the bottom and say, "I can see the doggy, Mummy!"

0:35:450:35:49

Oh, yeah? More importantly, it's 1930s and in excellent condition,

0:35:490:35:54

so it joins the maybe list, along with one pen and ink drawing

0:35:540:35:58

of the Northern locomotive, circa 1920.

0:35:580:36:02

Well, maybe.

0:36:020:36:03

P'raps?

0:36:030:36:05

The only doubt is they haven't signed it.

0:36:050:36:07

And, last, but not least, miniature golf, anyone?

0:36:070:36:11

I like this. This is Chad Valley.

0:36:110:36:12

Chad Valley is one of the big names for making toys

0:36:120:36:16

in the early part of the 20th century.

0:36:160:36:18

So, you've got nine holes, two putters,

0:36:180:36:21

a driver, as well.

0:36:210:36:23

I like that a lot, actually.

0:36:230:36:25

This and the locomotive and the children's bowl,

0:36:250:36:28

I might just buy the lot today.

0:36:280:36:31

Well, someone's living dangerously,

0:36:310:36:34

though what large sums might we be talking about here?

0:36:340:36:37

Um, I think the very best on that would be seven.

0:36:370:36:40

-I bought it with other items.

-OK.

-I think that would be a fair price.

0:36:400:36:43

-There's a little way to go in that.

-I'm happy with that. £7 is brilliant.

0:36:430:36:47

Thank you very much. The next is the Chad Valley miniature golf set.

0:36:470:36:51

-Tatty little box, but, um...

-Crikey, it's amazing it's still in the box.

0:36:510:36:57

-I think I'd like to see £10 for that.

-That's brilliant. OK.

0:36:570:37:00

Do you know, I can't haggle, cos ten is generous. And seven's good.

0:37:000:37:04

-We like to be fair.

-Thank you.

0:37:040:37:06

Oh, yes. In that case, there's just one more item in the window.

0:37:060:37:12

-This one?

-Yes, that chap there.

-Right. Nice little item.

0:37:120:37:15

-What would you do that for?

-I'd like to probably realise ten for that.

0:37:150:37:19

I really like it and I think £10 is a fair price.

0:37:190:37:22

So, in all, I'm going to buy three objects and they'll cost me £27.

0:37:220:37:27

-Right.

-Which is very good, so thank you.

-You haven't broke the bank.

-No, I haven't!

0:37:270:37:31

Mm. We're en route to Matlock, which was once not one but four small villages,

0:37:310:37:37

where not very much tended to happen.

0:37:370:37:41

But then in 1698, with the discovery of thermal springs,

0:37:410:37:45

suddenly Matlock was a spa town.

0:37:450:37:47

The population boomed and 20 hydros opened their doors, using mere water to treat many an ailment.

0:37:470:37:53

Although today, the only therapy Phil Serrell's after is retail,

0:37:530:37:57

so, currently, he's headed down the high street

0:37:570:38:00

and on to Matlock Antiques,

0:38:000:38:03

where he's discovered something even before he goes into the shop.

0:38:030:38:06

You know, you look at something like that...

0:38:060:38:09

..and I can hear you asking, "Who's going to buy that?"

0:38:120:38:15

You'd want to try and buy that for £20 to £25, really.

0:38:150:38:19

I have seen them at £60, £70.

0:38:190:38:22

They're a bit bigger, with much bigger wooden blocks here.

0:38:220:38:26

I'm going to go in, see what else I can find.

0:38:260:38:28

Well, you say that, but we all know what you really want is...

0:38:280:38:32

-The mangle?

-Yeah.

0:38:320:38:33

It's just a bit hot price-wise, isn't it?

0:38:330:38:36

-What price is on it?

-I'll tell you what I can get for it at auction.

0:38:360:38:40

In a saleroom, that's going to make 30 to 50 quid, cos it's bust,

0:38:400:38:43

which means I have to buy it, after commission, between £20 and £25.

0:38:430:38:48

I'm sure 30 to 35 would be a lot better.

0:38:480:38:51

Who for?!

0:38:510:38:53

-Us, of course!

-Let's have a think on that. Let me see what else...

0:38:530:38:56

-We might be able to block package it.

-OK. That's lovely.

0:38:560:38:59

Let me see what else I can find.

0:38:590:39:01

I quite like that little trophy there,

0:39:030:39:06

which is not a snooker trophy.

0:39:060:39:07

It's a billiards trophy, cos there's two white balls, one of which has got a spot on.

0:39:070:39:12

By the way, billiards was once a game played outdoors,

0:39:120:39:16

similar to croquet, and the green felt of a billiards table is supposed to represent the lawn.

0:39:160:39:21

I think it's a really cool little trophy.

0:39:230:39:25

In that case, it's back to the negotiation table.

0:39:250:39:29

Could you do a deal on that and the mangle?

0:39:290:39:32

Can you do me £25 the two?

0:39:320:39:35

Not really, no. I think if we say 30 for the two,

0:39:350:39:39

-that'd be good.

-What about if I toss and if it's heads,

0:39:390:39:42

it's £25 and if it's tails, it's £30? How does that sound?

0:39:420:39:45

-A coin, yes.

-Oh, this is good, then.

0:39:450:39:48

This man's a chancer and, ladies, I'd check that coin, if I were you.

0:39:480:39:52

-If it's a head, it's £30.

-It's mine, yes.

-And if it's a tail, it's 25.

0:39:590:40:03

Get in there!

0:40:060:40:08

-I think that's...

-Double-headed...

0:40:080:40:10

-It's double-tailed!

-You said double-headed, you can't have it both ways!

0:40:100:40:14

I was fibbing!

0:40:140:40:16

THEY LAUGH

0:40:160:40:17

-The Silver Fox has done it again.

-Thank you.

0:40:170:40:21

Now, as for Jonathan, he's motoring on.

0:40:210:40:24

His next stop is Stoke-On-Trent,

0:40:260:40:28

considered to be the spiritual home of Britain's pottery industry.

0:40:280:40:32

Mark you, that's not why we're here.

0:40:320:40:35

Oh, no. We're here to see Heath House, a grand, Gothic mansion

0:40:350:40:40

with a fascinating past,

0:40:400:40:41

one which tells the story of an ambitious young wife,

0:40:410:40:44

a family divided,

0:40:440:40:47

and the house that used to stand here being completely demolished.

0:40:470:40:51

-Good afternoon.

-Hi, Jonathan, very nice to see you. Come on in.

0:40:510:40:55

Today, the estate is owned by Ben Philips,

0:40:550:40:58

the great-great-great grandson of the people who had it built,

0:40:580:41:02

John Burton Philips and his flamboyant wife, Joanna.

0:41:020:41:07

This is the inner hall and I think my ancestor, Joanna Philips,

0:41:070:41:11

when she built the house, she wanted to create an impression for her guests when they walked through,

0:41:110:41:16

and here it is!

0:41:160:41:18

Now, Joanna was an Essex girl,

0:41:190:41:21

who quite fancied having the biggest and grandest home money could buy,

0:41:210:41:26

so shortly after her pa-in-law passed away,

0:41:260:41:29

she took what was his rather fine Georgian home and demolished it.

0:41:290:41:34

In its place, she built this Victorian showpiece,

0:41:340:41:38

-with more than 60 rooms.

-She was very ahead of her time.

0:41:380:41:41

-The old Georgian house was pulled down in 1835.

-She didn't like that?

0:41:410:41:46

No, she absolutely didn't.

0:41:460:41:48

Having been brought up in a Georgian house herself,

0:41:480:41:51

she was sick to death of it and she just wanted the most modern,

0:41:510:41:54

most fashionable, most avant-garde that she could get hold of.

0:41:540:41:59

The tragedy was that most of the furniture and pictures in the old Georgian house,

0:41:590:42:03

I think she either gave away or sold.

0:42:030:42:05

Though allowing Joanna to raze the family home to the ground proved controversial, to say the least.

0:42:050:42:11

The old man died in 1834.

0:42:110:42:13

He was scarcely cold in his grave

0:42:130:42:15

when Joanna commissioned the other one...

0:42:150:42:18

Her sisters-in-law were so furious at what she'd done

0:42:180:42:21

-that they never came to the new house, never spoke to her.

-Really?!

0:42:210:42:25

It caused a real rift in the family, yeah.

0:42:250:42:27

-What a lady!

-Yes! She knew what she wanted.

0:42:270:42:32

The house took four years to complete,

0:42:320:42:34

and in the 170 years that have passed since then,

0:42:340:42:39

many of the rooms have barely changed,

0:42:390:42:41

though each generation has added to its interesting history.

0:42:410:42:46

For example, it was a military hospital in World War II,

0:42:460:42:49

it's been visited by Florence Nightingale and there's even a connection to Queen Victoria.

0:42:490:42:56

-Can I have a look at some of this?

-Yes.

0:42:560:42:58

-So that's Victoria and Albert in the middle there?

-Yes.

0:42:580:43:01

There's a photograph of Albert on the back there.

0:43:010:43:04

"To the Countess Blucher,

0:43:040:43:07

"in remembrance of the best and greatest of princes,

0:43:070:43:13

-"from his broken-hearted widow, Victoria. December 1861."

-Wow.

0:43:130:43:18

According to Ben, a visit to this grand old girl isn't complete

0:43:180:43:23

without climbing the 80-foot tower that Joanna Philips insisted

0:43:230:43:27

be incorporated into the design of the house,

0:43:270:43:30

an experience which is breathtaking, in all senses of the word.

0:43:300:43:35

I think every house should have one of these. I'd love one at home.

0:43:380:43:41

I don't think the neighbours would approve.

0:43:410:43:43

I should go for a pergola instead.

0:43:430:43:47

Anyway, let's talk about Philip. He's off to his next shop,

0:43:470:43:51

where, again, he's found something he likes right on the doorstep.

0:43:510:43:55

I like that.

0:43:570:43:58

The jammy old devil.

0:43:580:44:00

-Morning.

-Morning.

-How are you, all right?

-Not too bad, you?

0:44:000:44:03

-Philip, good to see you.

-Nice to meet you.

0:44:030:44:06

Magpie...

0:44:060:44:07

Don't be fooled by this lovable charm. He's only after a discount.

0:44:070:44:10

-I found this outside.

-Yep.

-What do you reckon that is?

0:44:100:44:13

-I think it's an old pub sign, made out of aluminium.

-Yeah.

-And painted up.

-Age?

0:44:130:44:19

30, 40 years, maybe? Little bit different.

0:44:190:44:21

-Where's the price ticket on it?

-Just there. Round the eye.

-Let's look.

0:44:210:44:27

How much?!

0:44:270:44:29

-I like it.

-Mm-hm.

-But what I want to do is have a look round,

0:44:290:44:33

-and perhaps do a bit of a bulk buy off you.

-OK.

0:44:330:44:36

Oh, not that old chestnut!

0:44:360:44:39

Then again, there are some nice pieces in this shop.

0:44:390:44:41

And what makes it different is there's a mix of old and new.

0:44:410:44:46

We've got a lock-up, as well, twice as big as the shop, full of stuff we haven't even been through yet.

0:44:460:44:52

-Really?

-Really!

0:44:520:44:55

-Is it that way or that way?

-Turn right, sir.

0:44:550:44:57

I've said it before and I'll say it again -

0:44:570:45:00

Philip Serrell, you jammy old devil.

0:45:000:45:04

Just a few miles away, Jonathan's headed for Cromford,

0:45:040:45:09

a town famous for its connection to Richard Arkwright,

0:45:090:45:11

one of the forefathers of the Industrial Revolution.

0:45:110:45:16

Remarkably, Arkwright's cotton mill,

0:45:160:45:18

which, in 1771, was the first to be successfully powered by water,

0:45:180:45:23

is still standing and, today, amongst other things,

0:45:230:45:27

it's home to Heritage Antiques.

0:45:270:45:28

I do have a genuine pair of mill worker's clogs.

0:45:310:45:34

what would be your best price, if you're saying £45?

0:45:340:45:36

I will do those for £30.

0:45:360:45:38

I'm going to buy those, if you were to agree to £25.

0:45:390:45:42

I don't mean to make you cry, but this is helping me.

0:45:450:45:48

Yes, I can understand that.

0:45:480:45:50

-OK.

-Right, OK. Thank you. I'll show him!

0:45:500:45:53

Back in Matlock, though...

0:45:560:45:59

Where's he taking me?!

0:45:590:46:01

Welcome to the lock-up.

0:46:010:46:03

Cor, he loves it, the old codger.

0:46:030:46:05

Philip, poking around all this...stuff.

0:46:050:46:08

You ever thought about stocktaking?

0:46:080:46:11

No. I don't think we'd have the time.

0:46:110:46:13

I wouldn't know where to start.

0:46:130:46:16

That's got a few lenses with it. There's no box or anything.

0:46:160:46:20

That's exactly how it's come.

0:46:200:46:22

-Right.

-I don't know anything about it whatsoever.

0:46:220:46:25

-You're in good company(!)

-Yeah!

0:46:250:46:27

Pur-leeze! Allow me.

0:46:270:46:29

This is what is called a monocular bench microscope,

0:46:290:46:33

and it's designed for studying all manner of natural history specimens.

0:46:330:46:37

At auction...I think...

0:46:370:46:41

I would see that making...

0:46:410:46:43

£20 to £40, £30 to £50 - that sort of region.

0:46:430:46:46

If it's 20 to 40 quid, I've got to try and buy it for 15 quid,

0:46:460:46:50

which is nicking it off you.

0:46:500:46:52

-I think I could get more...

-I'm sure you could.

0:46:520:46:55

-..in scrap for the brass.

-Yeah.

0:46:550:46:56

That part's brass. That isn't.

0:46:560:46:59

-Can we take it back to the shop with us?

-Sure.

0:46:590:47:02

-Cos I've got that lion, as well.

-OK.

0:47:020:47:04

And, maybe, Mr Moneybags, you could also rethink that offer.

0:47:040:47:09

Do you know what, Matt?

0:47:090:47:11

Like a lot of things in life, it looks a lot better in the dark.

0:47:110:47:15

Now, that is really cheeky.

0:47:150:47:18

-Right.

-Right, sir.

0:47:180:47:20

I was being mean when I bid 15 quid for that. Too mean.

0:47:220:47:25

I'd love to buy it for 20 quid, really.

0:47:250:47:27

I'm sure you would. And I'd like to sell it for 20, but I think if you could come a little bit more...

0:47:270:47:33

Um...and you did quite like the lion?

0:47:330:47:36

I think if you come a bit more, I'll chuck the lion in.

0:47:360:47:39

OK, I'll tell you what, I'll give you 25 quid for that and the lion.

0:47:390:47:43

-Nah.

-That's a little bit more.

-I was going to say 40 for that...

0:47:430:47:48

-How much?!

-40, for that and the lion.

-No, I couldn't do that. Honestly.

0:47:480:47:52

I don't think there's great age to that and I just think it's fun.

0:47:520:47:55

-This is my best shot, right - me finished after this.

-OK.

0:47:550:47:59

I'll give you 30 quid for the two.

0:47:590:48:01

-You wouldn't stretch to 35?

-No, that's me finished.

0:48:010:48:04

-I don't mind if you say no.

-Well, I like you

0:48:040:48:07

and I want you to win, so £30.

0:48:070:48:09

-Oh, you're a good man! Really?

-Yeah.

0:48:090:48:12

And, with that, this shopping trip is at an end.

0:48:120:48:16

Philip started this leg with £382.42

0:48:160:48:21

and has gone on to spend £140 on five auction lots,

0:48:210:48:25

buying two miniature cricket bats, an accordion,

0:48:250:48:29

a pub sign and billiards trophy,

0:48:290:48:31

a cast-iron mangle and a petrological microscope.

0:48:310:48:35

Jonathan, meanwhile, began with just £152.80,

0:48:350:48:39

and has spent £124, also on five auction lots,

0:48:390:48:42

all of which he's hoping - nay, praying! -

0:48:420:48:45

will bring about a reversal of his fortunes -

0:48:450:48:49

a mannequin, Clarissa, a Victorian hat box,

0:48:490:48:52

a locomotive sketch, a child's alphabet bowl

0:48:520:48:56

with a Chad Valley golf set and a pair of old clogs.

0:48:560:48:59

Well, it's quite an eclectic mix,

0:48:590:49:02

but what do our experts really think?

0:49:020:49:03

Go on, put the boot in.

0:49:030:49:05

He's put a lot of money under one object,

0:49:050:49:07

which is the accordion, to be honest.

0:49:070:49:09

The microscope could be his little...the thing to run away,

0:49:090:49:12

so he could have done well with that.

0:49:120:49:14

I think the child's bowl is absolutely lovely,

0:49:140:49:17

and I can see that doing really quite well.

0:49:170:49:19

And as for Clarissa...

0:49:190:49:20

I think he's been spending too much time on his own.

0:49:200:49:24

After starting this road trip in Sheffield,

0:49:250:49:28

the lads end their journey in Wilmslow,

0:49:280:49:31

one of the most affluent areas in Britain.

0:49:310:49:34

And not surprisingly, then, it's home to Premiership footballers,

0:49:340:49:38

WAGs, actors and multi-millionaires,

0:49:380:49:42

which could bode well at today's auction at Maxwell's of Wilmslow.

0:49:420:49:46

JP, this is the beginning of the end, isn't it?

0:49:460:49:48

It is, yeah, absolutely.

0:49:480:49:50

-Or is it the end of the beginning?

-It's the end...

-OK, fine.

0:49:500:49:55

Yes. And now we've got that sorted, let the auction start.

0:49:550:49:59

First up, it's Philip's rather grand accordion.

0:49:590:50:03

I can start this at, um,

0:50:030:50:05

at £15.

0:50:050:50:07

-Ouch.

-That's £15 with me.

0:50:070:50:09

At £15.

0:50:090:50:10

At 20, at 25. At 30.

0:50:100:50:13

At £30, commission's out. At 35.

0:50:130:50:16

40, 45.

0:50:160:50:17

50.

0:50:170:50:19

£50.

0:50:190:50:21

I think it's a sort of result.

0:50:210:50:23

55, we're selling to the 'net.

0:50:230:50:24

Anybody else? £55, it is, then.

0:50:240:50:28

I've come all that way to not break even!

0:50:280:50:31

It could've been a lot, lot worse!

0:50:310:50:33

Indeed it could, though, as Philip so rightly points out,

0:50:330:50:37

after commission, I'm afraid, it's a loss.

0:50:370:50:40

Next, it's Clarissa, the woman who's stolen Jonathan's heart

0:50:400:50:44

and, perhaps, his marbles.

0:50:440:50:46

-I like that.

-What?

0:50:460:50:48

"A mannequin, 'Clarissa',

0:50:480:50:50

approximately 5'10", GSOH" -

0:50:500:50:52

good sense of humour!

0:50:520:50:55

WLTM - would like to meet - a young Pratt!

0:50:550:50:58

But what the good people of Wilmslow feel?

0:50:580:51:01

Start me off, £40 for Clarissa there.

0:51:010:51:04

£40. £30.

0:51:040:51:05

Come on.

0:51:050:51:07

Oh, come on, someone!

0:51:070:51:08

-£20?

-Oh, dear! Perhaps she'll go home with Jonathan.

0:51:080:51:12

His missus will be pleased(!)

0:51:120:51:14

Start me at £10. £10 bid, we're off now. £10.

0:51:140:51:18

I'll go in twos!

0:51:180:51:20

12, 14.

0:51:200:51:23

16.

0:51:230:51:24

You're together. 18.

0:51:260:51:28

20, 22, 25, 28.

0:51:280:51:32

We've got a bidding war going on.

0:51:320:51:34

Yep, maybe there's some hope yet.

0:51:340:51:36

30. 35.

0:51:360:51:39

35, in the orange there, at £35, it's the lady's bid.

0:51:390:51:42

£35 and we're going, all done and selling...

0:51:420:51:45

GAVEL BANGS

0:51:460:51:47

-I redeemed myself a little.

-I think you got out of jail, mate.

0:51:490:51:52

I just knew Clarissa would break Jonathan's heart.

0:51:520:51:56

Next, something completely batty.

0:51:580:52:00

Well, two of them. And they're Philip's 1950s jobbies.

0:52:000:52:04

Let's start at 15, shall we? 15 bid.

0:52:040:52:07

20, 25, 30,

0:52:070:52:09

35. £35.

0:52:090:52:12

Further bids now? At £35.

0:52:120:52:14

All done at £35, then.

0:52:140:52:16

On commission...

0:52:160:52:19

So, it's all going wonderfully well at the moment, isn't it(?)

0:52:190:52:22

This is very unlike you, Philip.

0:52:220:52:23

But looking on the bright side, it is our first profit of the day.

0:52:230:52:27

And the only way, as they say, is up.

0:52:270:52:29

So, let's see what the rather cautious bidders

0:52:290:52:32

make of Jonathan's top-hat box.

0:52:320:52:34

It does look absolutely knackered, though, doesn't it?!

0:52:340:52:38

20 bid, at £20. 30.

0:52:380:52:40

-35, seated. At £35.

-Keep going. Keep going.

0:52:410:52:45

-At £35. Any further bids now?

-Come on, come on!

0:52:450:52:47

It's in the room and selling.

0:52:470:52:50

-40 bid.

-Ooh, there we go.

0:52:500:52:52

45. £45. Seated at 45 and selling this time.

0:52:520:52:56

Hooray!

0:52:580:53:00

-I've never seen anyone get so excited.

-£5 profit, that.

0:53:000:53:05

You've gone a bit squeaky, JP.

0:53:050:53:07

Actually, it's a £10 profit before commission,

0:53:070:53:11

but who's counting?

0:53:110:53:13

Up next, the Philip Serrell pub collection.

0:53:130:53:16

After all,

0:53:160:53:17

who wouldn't want their own lion masthead and billiards trophy(?)

0:53:170:53:22

30? 25? Come on, start me somewhere.

0:53:220:53:25

20? 20 bid in the front row. Thank you very much. £20.

0:53:250:53:29

At £20. Any further bids now? The billiard trophy and the pub sign.

0:53:290:53:33

Any further bids?

0:53:330:53:34

In the front row, selling then, for £20.

0:53:340:53:38

-It's a profit.

-Yeah, well, it's a 100% profit.

0:53:380:53:41

Yes, well done, Philip. That's big money. Especially for you two.

0:53:410:53:46

Perhaps Jonathan's locomotive sketch can finally stir some excitement.

0:53:460:53:51

Start me somewhere, then. 10, if you like. Start me at 10?

0:53:510:53:56

10 bid, with the lady. At £10.

0:53:560:53:58

Further bids now at 10.

0:53:580:54:01

-Any further bids? £10, I have.

-Oh, come on!

-All done.

0:54:010:54:04

You are racing away now, aren't you?

0:54:040:54:07

JONATHAN SIGHS

0:54:070:54:09

Yep, I won't lie to you. It's not looking good.

0:54:090:54:13

But let's see if Philip's mangle from Matlock can make some moolah.

0:54:130:54:18

Start me off for it. £30. What about this one, then?

0:54:180:54:21

£30 for the mangle?

0:54:210:54:23

20. Start me at 10, then. £10 for a cast-iron mangle.

0:54:230:54:29

-Go for a fiver.

-This is going wonderfully well, isn't it(?)

0:54:290:54:32

Sell it for a pound.

0:54:320:54:33

-£5, then.

-He's getting lower!

-Please.

0:54:330:54:36

We're in trouble now.

0:54:360:54:37

-5 bid.

-Yay!

0:54:370:54:39

There's no interest on the 'net, apparently.

0:54:390:54:42

£5 in the room.

0:54:420:54:43

I think that's a result, really, isn't it?

0:54:430:54:47

You know, I think we're going to have to lock the doors

0:54:470:54:50

and shake the money from the bidders' pockets.

0:54:500:54:52

All right, then. Moving on. This one's for the kids.

0:54:520:54:55

It's Jonathan's alphabet bowl and Chad Valley golf set.

0:54:550:55:00

For the children's items, 12.

0:55:000:55:02

15, 18, 20.

0:55:020:55:05

£20 with me. Somebody over here. We're up to fives now. 25.

0:55:050:55:09

£25. We're in fives. Commission's out.

0:55:090:55:12

Your bid of 25, madam.

0:55:120:55:13

Further bids now for the little child's bowl and game.

0:55:130:55:16

Surely worth more.

0:55:160:55:17

Any further bids? Up to 25. No interest on the 'net.

0:55:170:55:20

It's to the room, then...

0:55:200:55:22

I think that was cheap.

0:55:220:55:24

-LANCASHIRE ACCENT:

-Ah, well, mustn't grumble, eh?

0:55:260:55:30

So, Philip's last hope for this auction,

0:55:300:55:32

his petrological microscope.

0:55:320:55:34

But just quietly, I almost can't bear to look.

0:55:340:55:36

£80.

0:55:360:55:38

No interest at 80? It must be worth that.

0:55:380:55:40

Oh! This is a travesty.

0:55:400:55:43

50 bid. At £50.

0:55:430:55:45

55, 60, 65, 70.

0:55:450:55:49

Ah, that's a bit more like it.

0:55:490:55:51

75 now. It's cheap at £75.

0:55:510:55:55

Further bids now? At £75.

0:55:550:55:59

I'm sort of OK with that,

0:55:590:56:00

but I wouldn't know that it was cheap or dear.

0:56:000:56:02

It's 50... "I'm OK with a £50 profit."

0:56:020:56:05

Yes, come on, Philip, this is cause for celebration.

0:56:050:56:08

Anyone care for a sweet sherry, vicar?

0:56:080:56:11

Though before we pop the cork, attention, bidders,

0:56:110:56:14

there's one last item to go. Yes, Jonathan's fate in this contest

0:56:140:56:18

ultimately comes down to a pair of old clogs.

0:56:180:56:21

I have a bid of 20. Any further bids now?

0:56:210:56:24

At £20. We're up to 25 on the' net.

0:56:240:56:27

-£30.

-Get in there, JP.

0:56:270:56:29

They were so cheap that everybody threw them out,

0:56:290:56:31

so you don't see them any more.

0:56:310:56:33

We're in the room at 30, it's against the 'net.

0:56:330:56:35

-Come on, 'net.

-Selling to the room. Any further bids?

0:56:350:56:38

Well, I tickled a fiver out of that one.

0:56:380:56:41

-You did.

-I feel like I can... I'm at peace with myself now.

0:56:410:56:47

That's good, because, after commission, it's another loss.

0:56:470:56:51

I tell you what, though, it's time for me to buy you a drink.

0:56:510:56:54

-Let's go and count our "earnings".

-Come on, mate.

0:56:540:56:56

Our ill-gotten losses.

0:56:560:56:59

Jonathan started this final leg with £152.80

0:57:020:57:06

and, despite it being his last hurrah,

0:57:060:57:09

he went on to make yet another loss, this time £5.10,

0:57:090:57:13

which mean he ends on just £147.70.

0:57:130:57:17

Philip, meanwhile, hit the ground running, with £382.42,

0:57:210:57:26

and despite a modest profit of £15.80,

0:57:260:57:30

he ends up with a fabulous £398.22, making him grand winner.

0:57:300:57:35

JP, that's the end, there is no more.

0:57:380:57:41

-I know, Philip.

-What are we going to do now?

0:57:410:57:44

I don't know. I'll have to go back to my family and my life again.

0:57:440:57:47

You know, it's been an emotional and financial rollercoaster.

0:57:470:57:51

So, where did Jonathan go wrong?

0:57:510:57:55

Let's have a review, shall we?

0:57:550:57:57

-I'm going to beat you by hundreds of pounds.

-Ha! Really?

0:57:570:58:00

I'm going to go...

0:58:000:58:03

Shouldn't have done that.

0:58:030:58:05

I buy whatever I see.

0:58:050:58:07

Big mistake.

0:58:070:58:08

Oh, no!

0:58:080:58:09

And then there's...Clarissa!

0:58:090:58:12

You've got beautiful eyes. Yes.

0:58:120:58:15

But most of all, I think he underestimated The Silver Fox.

0:58:150:58:19

Congratulations, Phil. You played a blinder!

0:58:190:58:23

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:58:390:58:42