Episode 14 Antiques Road Trip

'It's the nation's favourite antiques experts with £200 each,

'a classic car and a goal to scour Britain for antiques.'

-Going, going, gone!

-How do I look?

'The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction, but it's no mean feat.

'There'll be worthy winners and valiant losers.'

I'm going to become a bin man.

'Will it be the high road to glory or the slow road to disaster?'

I like it when you're chasing me.

'This is the Antiques Road Trip.

'Yeah!

'As they hit the road to our nation's capital,

'there's an air of optimism about our duo, Mark Stacey and Will Axon.'

I'm going to buy gold, silver, jewels, diamonds - yeah!

'Gregarious Mark has over 20 years' antiques experience under his belt

'and he's not afraid to expand it!'

Oh, lovely! Oh, I'll come back here again!

'While jolly Will, not known for his prudence, has a clear strategy.'

"Spend it, Will."

'Having started the week on £200,

'an early setback for Mark has still left him under par.

'Despite modest gains in recent auctions, he has £195.10p

'to start this penultimate leg.

'Whereas Will's incredible performance at the last auction

'has sent him into the lead in the road trip.

'He has a bonanza budget of £325.86p.

'In a flash of white lightening, our chaps cut through the London commute

'in a classic 1963 Triumph TR4,

'hoping there will be no more bumps in the road ahead.'

CLANKING

-'Oh, dear!'

-Was that you or the car?

It might have been me. Sorry about that!

What did you have for breakfast?

'Charming(!)

'This Road Trip is whisking us through no less than four counties.

'The boys started in Hastings, East Sussex,

'and will visit Kent, Surrey and Essex

'before finishing at an auction finale

'in the leafy London suburb of Ruislip.

'Today, we're kicking off in Crystal Palace in London,

'then heading for Essex and an auction showdown in Southend-on-Sea.

'The area of Crystal Palace

'was named after a magnificent glass building of the same name.

'Originally built in 1851 to house the Great Exhibition in Hyde Park,

'it was rebuilt in south London,

'where it stood until its destruction by fire in 1936.

'The area is now recognised by the sixth tallest structure in London,

'the Crystal Palace transmitter.'

-This looks like it, Will.

-Antique Warehouse, I like the sound of that.

-Are we shopping in here together?

-I think we are, Mark.

-Is this place big enough for the both of us?

-I'm sure it is.

'The boys are starting out at Crystal Palace Antique & Modern.

'With four floors of treasure, it's south London's largest antiques emporium.

'So, Will's starting at the top, to find out what treasures await.'

Very nice.

Little cheese board there.

If I tell you it's got a carved mouse on it,

you'll know who's made it, and Tim's going to tell you all about it.

'If you insist!

'The carved mouse is a trademark of Robert Thompson, the Mouseman.

'Famous for his oak furnishings,

'Thompson featured the creature on almost every piece he made.

'This cheese board is an early example of his work. Will has offered £100.'

Bear with me.

'Dealer Nick is making a phone call to the owner.

'And it looks like it's good news.'

-Are you going to stick a sold sticker on it for me?

-I am, indeed.

While you get the cabinet open...

-I've bought it without handling it!

-I was quite impressed.

-Well...

'He may be buying blind, but deep down, our expert knows the worth of this cracking little piece.'

I'm pleased with that. 100 quid! It's worth a punt. Lovely.

Stick a sold sticker on. Leave it in the cabinet to antagonise Mark!

'While the new kid on the block is buying big,

'our veteran seems to be struggling to find anything to acquire.'

SIGHS: Oh, dear!

'Flush with success,

'Will's already on the scent of his next purchase.'

That's sweet, isn't it?

I mean, it's of no great consequence.

It's a little country house, little pen sketch.

What I love is this frame, this birdseye maple.

You've got this lovely figuring.

I don't know, it just appeals.

Looks like it's been in that frame for ever.

It's only 23 quid!

I could bear that in mind, but I'll hang it up there.

'While Will's in the mood to part with his cash,

'Mark's run into a problem.'

The things that are attracting my attention are sold.

This is really nice.

Even small pieces like this breadboard sell for £150, £200.

But, it says sold.

'Lordy! Wait until he finds out who bought it. Ha!'

This caught my eye.

Obviously, Art Deco. You can tell just by looking at it.

This clock garniture

with this stylish looking woman perched atop this tree stump.

It's got a ticket here. It's had a price on it and it's been reduced.

I was almost tempted to make a cheeky offer of about £100.

I don't know how Nick would feel.

I suspect he'd have to make a phone call.

'Why don't you ask him? He's right behind you.'

-She caught my eye.

-A-ha! Yeah.

-This triple clock garniture.

-Yes.

-I've had a look at the price.

Would you be able to make a phone call for me

-and see if they might be able to come down near £100 for her?

-£100?

'Crikey! You like to spend in hundreds, don't you?'

Very best? 120.

'Will's taken over the negotiations, to see if that really is owner Ian's very, very best.'

Could we meet in the middle and say 110?

It's gone and you've got a space on your mantelpiece to fill with more treasure.

110?

Yeah. That's really kind of you, mate. Thanks very much. Cheers.

'Hey, big spender! That's nearly two-thirds of your budget on your first two items.'

Before we get to the office, Nick, this caught my eye.

-Ah.

-Sweet, isn't it?

-It is. Yes. Let me have a quick look at it.

I'd be inclined to say it could be £20. As a starting thing.

-To round it off.

-Yeah?

Well, I think 15. You say 20.

-Let's meet at 18.

-I think we can do that.

-Let's do it.

-So I've got to settle up for everything now.

-Yes, indeed.

In the office? Perfect.

'While Will pays up, it looks like Mark's mood is as grey as the weather.

'Maybe he'll cheer up on his next visit.

'His antique search may have gone to the dogs,

'but he's making his way north into central London, to Piccadilly,

'to the oldest recognised Kennel Club in the world.'

-Hello.

-Hello.

-I'm Mark.

-Hello, I'm Louisa.

-And who's this charming fellow?

-This is Louie.

-He's going to show you round the Kennel Club today.

-Hello!

-He's shivering. Shall we go in?

-Yes.

Oh, isn't he sweet?

'Oh. That's embarrassing.

'From prize-winning pooches to lovable scruffy mongrels,

'Britain's always had a love affair with its four-legged friends.

'With an estimated 28,000 dogs competing each year at Crufts,

'it's not hard to see why a national body had to be set up

'to legislate in canine matters.

'The Kennel Club has its roots in dog shows

'that became popular in the 19th century.

'While initially dogs were only recognised by their kennel names,

'since its formation in 1873,

'the club has identified 211 distinct breeds of dogs.

'Louisa is showing Mark the Club's art gallery,

'which displays Victorian and Edwardian canine art -

'including hundreds of oil paintings, engravings and prints.'

This room has a Victorian feel to me, the pictures and the panelling.

It is very Victorian, and Victorians loved their dogs.

Queen Victoria was a huge dog fan and owned a large number of dogs.

She had at least 28 breeds of dog.

I never knew Queen Victoria loved her dogs so much.

She didn't just have them in kennels. She had lots of pets.

That's quite early. Victoria came to the throne in 1837.

She owned dogs before she was Queen.

When she was Princess she did have a large number of dogs.

-And this book lists her various breeds?

-Yes. It does.

This would have been given as a gift, anybody that visited Windsor.

There's some exotic ones in here.

A lot would have been given to her by various people,

other royalty from overseas, things like that.

-Bedouin dogs.

-Gosh! That sounds rather exotic.

We also have a Hungarian sheep-dog. We're not sure which breed that is.

That's January 1943, so again, that's very early.

-Did she get involved with the Kennel Club when it was founded?

-She did. Yes.

She did show her dogs at Crufts.

She was involved in the dog-showing world.

This medal here was given to Queen Victoria from the Pomeranian Club,

awarded at the Kennel Club in 1891 for her Pomeranian, Windsor Marco.

-He won first in his class at that show.

-Wonderful!

It's a bit like our current Queen, who loves Corgis.

I suppose that's led to an increase in interest and ownership of Corgis.

BARKING

'It's estimated today

'that there are approximately 10.5 million dogs owned in the UK,

'accounting for over a third of all the nation's household pets.

'Dogs truly still are our best friends.

'It's time for Mark to say his farewell to his new-found pal.'

Bye bye, Louie. Bye bye.

Look after yourself.

Oh, bless him! I want to take him home with me.

'Paws off, Mark. Louie looks quite happy where he is!

'Who's a good doggy, then? Ruff!

'Meanwhile, Will has decided to do a spot more shopping.

'One of them should!

'He's travelled nine miles east to Chislehurst, looking to spend more

'in Wrattan Antique & Craft Mews.'

They're quite nice, aren't they?

I've got one at home which we use. They're, basically, breadboards.

-Does what it says on the tin!

-'A tin of bread?'

I've seen these for sale -

kitchenalia dealers, special dealers.

What's not great about them is the colour.

With anything treen, wood, colour is key.

They've got something about them.

I've gone for a cheese board, haven't I, so why not go for three breadboards as well?

There might be a kitchenalia lot I could get together.

'Oh, no. Not another theme, surely?

'It's time to get Graham and Maureen involved.'

How much leeway? Could you do all three...

..for 15 quid?

Yes.

-You could?

-I will, on this occasion.

Have I bought three breadboards?

'That's how it works, Will.'

What can we chuck in to make it a round 20? What about a jelly mould?

'Oh, lordy! He's quite out of control.

'Stop him, before he picks up the...'

And one of those. What is it?

'It looks like a butter press without its mould to me.'

Chuck that in as well and we've got a deal - 20 quid.

I'm a hard man... Oh! It's done!

'So Will's impromptu raid on Graham and Maureen's pantry

'has resulted in three breadboards, a jelly mould and a butter press.

'All for £20. Top marks!'

-It's even aesthetically pleasing stacked.

-It is, isn't it?

Would you like a bag?

'As the day draws to a close, Will can sleep easy with four lots in the old bag.

'Poor Mark remains empty-handed.

'Ah, well. Sleep tight. Nighty night.

'A new day has dawned for our intrepid duo.

'Has Mark's failure to buy made him a little paranoid?'

We've just turned into Deadman's Lane!

MARK LAUGHS

I hope it's not a premonition of what's to come.

'Let's hope not, Mark. You've got a lot of catching up to do.

'So far, Mark has only visited one shop.

'He failed to find anything to buy - that Will hadn't already bought.

'He still has all of his £195.10p to part with.

'Whereas, Will shopped till he dropped,

'spending big and picking up four lots for £248.

'Crikey! That still leaves him with £77.86p to spend today.

'The boys are heading into Essex, to the village of Great Baddow.

'With a population of 13,000,

'it's one of the largest villages in the country.'

-Great Baddow?

-That's right, antique centre.

Sounds like some sort of '70s rock group!

-The Great Baddow!

-The Great Baddow and the Baddettes!

LAUGHS We could be the Baddettes.

'Saddettes, more like!

'Now, this should be interesting.

'Our sparring partners are heading to the same shop, Baddow Antiques.

'Let's hope Will leaves something for Mark to buy.'

-I think you should go that way.

-All right.

-See you later.

Oh, I love those glasses!

I bet that's not for sale. Yeah.

"Not for sale." They're fab, aren't they?

It's quite interesting, isn't it? It caught my eye, the shape of it.

One or two nibbles on the rim.

On closer inspection, not for me.

Someone will love it.

MARK IN CONVERSATION IN THE BACKGROUND

Another bit of art glass.

It's quite speccy, the art glass, a real up-and-coming market.

I suppose it's a Vaseline glass.

No price on them, of course.

That might be a theme for one of my items, a sort of art glass lot.

'Oh, lordy! Struggling to make his first purchase,

'dealer Ron has pointed Mark in the direction

'of an Edwardian cut-glass ship's decanter.'

-That's rather fun. What's this?

-It's a quarter decanter.

It's like a small version of a ship's decanter.

-It would have sat like that and it wouldn't spill over.

-Yeah.

-It's a ship's decanter in miniature.

-It's rather sweet.

I must admit, I haven't seen one dinky like that for ages.

-That might be a possibility, Ron. Can we reserve that for me?

-Yeah.

'At an asking price of £25,

'you could consider letting go of those purse strings, Mark.'

Ron!

'Boy! Ron's being run ragged today.

'Will's found some more glass items for his - dare I say it? - theme.'

That was what caught my eye.

It's the texture and the design. It's got something about it.

It's got a little signature. I don't know what that is. Do you?

It looks like an anchor and an H.

I actually have another piece of glass with the identical mark.

Have you? I'll tell you the other bit I quite liked.

-Unfortunately, it's damaged.

-Is it?

-It has a little neck crack.

-Yeah.

-So that might be quite affordable with the crack in there.

-Absolutely.

It's a good shape, isn't it?

'All this 1960s art glass is making me nostalgic.

'Not.'

Not sure what I'm doing, but let's go with the flow!

-This is the other bit, is it?

-Yeah.

-OK, a little sort of...

-Remarkably, it still has its lid.

So what have we got? One, two, three, four, five pieces.

-You've seen the programme. I'm on a budget.

-35 quid the lot.

30 quid?

-32 and that is the deal.

-Let's do it. It's a deal.

'After Ron gave Will another pound off for luck,

'our dapper dealer has got the lot for just £31 and is all shopped-out.

'So he can relax - or gloat.'

-Mr Stacey!

-Mr Axon. You're looking rather pleased with yourself.

-I'll be honest with you, Mark, I've bought all my bits and bobs.

-No?

-Yeah.

I don't know if you're doing it to annoy me or not,

-but I haven't bought a thing yet.

-You haven't bought anything?

-What are you going to do?

-I don't know.

'No need to panic just yet, Mr Stacey.

'How about that ship's decanter?

'I'm sure there's a deal to be done, if you can remember how to haggle.'

-The fact that it's perfect.

-Yes.

I know you don't like £25, but I know your position.

So I will say, money back, £18.

-£18.

-And I think you've got...

-I think we'll shake hands on 18.

You read my mind.

-LAUGHING:

-I'm quite good at that.

-You're a very canny dealer, Ron.

'See? It wasn't that hard work, was it?

'One lot down and Mark's got his skates on.

'He's made a dash across the courtyard to see what dealer Steve has to offer.'

-Immediately, what I like about it immediately is the shape.

-Yeah.

It's very Chinese, that baluster shape.

-Do you know much about this?

-Not at all.

Oh, good. That's a positive sign! STEVE LAUGHS

-You know it's damaged, don't you?

-I do.

I don't know if that's the right lid.

It's a little bit on the wobbly jubbly side.

-It doesn't look quite right.

-But it is the same type of pattern.

With that little dog on the top.

-This is what we call Cantonese famille-rose ware.

-Mm-hm.

'Famille-rose was introduced during the reign of Kangxi,

'possibly around 1720.

'It used mainly pink or purple,

'and remained popular throughout the 18th and 19th centuries.'

How cheap could it be?

EXHALES

I'm thinking really cheap, Steve.

-I was thinking about 12.

-MARK LAUGHS

Oh, they do say people of Essex have a sense of humour, don't they?

I'll tell you what, Steve, because I'm in a rush and I like you,

I'll take it off your hands for a fiver.

Then it gives me a little bit of a chance at auction.

-Go on, then.

-MARK GASPS

Put it there, quickly. I don't know what I bought there.

But I know old Will Axon likes his Chinese, doesn't he?

And I don't mean takeaway.

'I think you got a real bargain, Mark, damaged or not.

'Happy with his morning's work, Will's headed to Southend-on-Sea,

'where formerly one of the town's biggest employers

'became one of the nation's most popular makers of wireless radios.

'During its golden age, radio captured the hearts and minds

'of listeners up and down the country.

'Radios were more than boxes that transmitted sounds from far away,

'they came to be an important part of family life.

'And Ekco Ltd,

'named after its founder Eric Kirkham Cole,

'produced one of the most revolutionary radio sets.

'Although the Ekco brand and factory are long gone from the area,

'a little part of their legacy can still be found.

'Will's meeting up with curator Ken Crow at the Tickfield Centre

'which houses a collection of these bygone classics.'

Oh, blimey! Look at all this!

It's like Raiders Of The Lost Ark!

-Ah, you must be Ken.

-Hello, Will. How are you?

-Very well, thank you.

'The Ekco brand burst onto the scene in 1929,

'when they exhibited radios that no longer relied on battery power.

'Coles' invention, the battery eliminator, or transformer,

'was a big step forward from the former two-valve radio version.'

I'm assuming that the radios were very expensive.

They were very expensive, especially when you get to the 1930s,

-when you get radios costing 12, 14 guineas.

-Ooh!

-£12, £14 and more.

-Yeah.

-Which is equivalent to something like three months' wages.

-Wow!

-It really was the preserve of the...

-Well-to-do.

'The product was a hit

'and with the orders came the need to rapidly expand the business.

'Moving from a small premises in Leigh-on-Sea,

'the Ekco factory in Southend became

'one of the first purpose-built radio factories in the country.

'Keeping one step ahead of the competition,

'the company began to concentrate on the manufacture of mains-powered radios

'and introduced Bakelite covers for its receivers.

'But then disaster struck in 1932,

'when the factory was devastated by a huge fire.'

The fire destroyed all the following season's designs.

It was potentially disastrous. It could have finished the firm off.

So, after the fire,

they in fact brought out last season's design.

Didn't sell.

They had to rely on the designs that they already had, but no-one wanted them.

'So, in order to reignite the popularity of their radios,

'Ekco launched a competition which invited modernist designers

'to challenge the usual wooden box approach to domestic radio design.

'An entry by renowned architect Wells Coates was the winner.

'Wells Coates' concept

'became the most popular wireless cabinet shape of all time.

'He was interested in form and function

'and wanted his design to follow the shape of the speaker.'

-I understand it was the first round radio in the world.

-This design?

-Hm.

AD65, that's what the model was called.

You say that he wanted to make something

that was only possible in plastic.

It's that modernist thing, new materials.

Why would you want to use wood?

-That's in the past. We're using plastics and Bakelites.

-Yeah.

-It was this that saved Ekco.

-Really?

-This sold phenomenally well.

'And with plastics came the ability to introduce new colours.'

Of course, what they did

-was to think, "We could make it in brown and black."

-Yes.

-"We've got plastic, we could make it in green and ivory."

-Really?

"We can make it in lots of different colours." Didn't sell.

-People didn't want ivory and green.

-What colour did they want?

-They wanted brown and black cos it matched the furniture!

-Of course!

'The firm later became producers of televisions and car radios

'and at its height was employing 8,000 people across various sites.

'After an unsuccessful merger and Cole's decision to retire in 1961,

'the factory closed just five years later.

'By the early 1970s, the brand had all but disappeared.

'Today, Ekco radios, especially those in non-standard colours,

'have become valuable items, fetching up to thousands of pounds.

'Well, a fascinating visit for Will has come to an end.

'It's time to catch up with old Stacey

'who, with two purchases to his name, has some catching up to do.

'Mark's making a short journey south,

'hoping to put up a fight in Battlesbridge.

'Today, the village is best known as a centre for antiques,

'though its appearance owes much to centuries of riverside industry.

'Will the tide turn for Mark within the Battlesbridge Antiques Centre?'

That's quite fun, isn't it? Look at that! That shelf!

Gosh, I really like that.

What I've found is a wall bracket, probably part of a pair or more,

made of pottery then glazed to look like metal.

It's like a suit of armour.

I think that's really nice.

More importantly, I think it's got some age.

I think we're looking at something that was made...

probably around 1900 - 1890, 1900?

I'll tell you what else is making me rather excited.

WHISPERING: It's only marked up at £30.

Ooh!

'But you just know he's not going to offer £30.'

Yeah...

'He's asked Valerie to phone the owner with a bid of £20.'

-It's like being at a job interview.

-Thank you very much.

-Oh!

-Please say yes.

-Bye bye.

-You're in luck.

-Am I?

-£20.

-MARK GASPS

We've got a deal. Thank you SO much.

Thanks for all your help. Things are on the turn.

'Oh! Looks like Mark's got his mojo back.

'He's on a roll and has found this Japanese box with a blue glass liner.'

What would it be estimated at auction?

Probably £20 or £30, as a decorative object.

If two people really like it, it might make 30 or more.

There's no price on it, so I want to try and get it...under £10, really.

I've got to claw my way back here.

I'll go and see if the dealer's around

then come back and let you know what happens.

'And after a quick negotiation with the camera-shy dealer...'

Good news.

I said I wanted to pay around £10-ish for it.

I tried a sneaky £5, but the dealer was having none of it.

So we compromised and settled on £8.

If I knew how to say "I'm very happy" in Japanese, I would, but I can't, so I won't.

'Let's try watashi wa ureshii desu.

'I'm not just a pretty face, you know.'

That's quite fun, isn't it? Have you seen this before?

You might have done, because it's a sliding book rest.

This is lacquered wood.

Quite cheaply done, actually.

Will had one of these previously and made a lot of money on it.

£85 in the room. Anybody else want to come in?

I can sell the lot.

It's only £12, as well.

I don't think this is going to make anywhere near the £85 Will's made.

If I could get that, say, for...a fiver.

Then even if it made £15, it would be quite a good profit margin.

Cos we've got the dragon here

chasing the pearl of wisdom.

Just like I am, but I'm chasing the pearl of profit.

'Ooh! How poetic! But with another cheeky offer of £5,

'it's a wonder Val's not chasing you out of the shop!'

-I tried.

-Thank you, Valerie.

-£8 was her best.

-Oh, well! £8. What do I do?

The only thing I do like about it, it has the original paper label,

which says, "chung chan hen".

Which I know from my Chinese is, "Please do not buy me."

-Actually, it says, "Please buy me."

-MARK LAUGHS

I don't know why I'm even on this show

because I'm too generous to a fault here.

Just for your cheek saying "please buy me", I'm going to say yes to £8.

-That dealer had better buy you a gin and tonic.

-I truly hope so, too.

'Phew! You'll need a swift G&T after pulling your five lots out of the bag, Mark.

'So, with the shopping done, the boys meet up to reveal their lots.'

I'm very disappointed with this, Will.

I've had a really tough time buying things this time.

-Oh, they don't look too bad to me.

-I'm very disappointed, honestly.

I suddenly found a couple of things that I'm really pleased with.

-I love this.

-I was going to say.

-It's pottery.

-Is it?

-I just love the detail.

-I've never seen anything like it.

-It's stunning.

-20 quid. I like that. That is very different.

-This is a bit of fun - Japanese box. Eight quid.

-Not a lot of money.

The Chinese vase, wrong top, of course. There's a bit of damage.

-Bit of Canton.

-It's late 19th century, early 20th century.

-£5.

-That's not a lot of money, Mark.

'Go on, Mark! Show him your book slide.'

-I thought if you can do well on a book slide...

-I know, I saw!

I couldn't say no at £8.

It's not a lot of money and nicely decorated. Exactly.

A little ship's decanter! Tiny one.

-And it was £18.

-18? Not a lot of money is it?

'But what's Will hiding under his cover?'

-There's something alive under there.

-It's moving!

-Have you got something physically alive?

-I'm going to reveal it now.

It's only a matter of time before it falls on the floor.

Oh, my gosh!

Oh! Oh, my God! I can't believe it.

'The word we're looking for is, "Wow!"'

-Wow!

-'There you are.'

-I saw that. It's a pencil drawing.

-Maybe a bit of ink in there.

-We haven't got time...

-I love this!

'I wondered when he'd spot that.'

-That is wonderful.

-I got it for 100.

-That's fine.

-If I lose on that, then I'm unlucky.

-Very unlucky.

-I can't believe you will.

-I've sold worse for £100.

This little lot... I got three breadboards. Look at that one!

Oh, I've never seen that before.

-I think that must be a wheatsheaf.

-That's really unusual.

A little jelly mould, I got him to chuck that in.

-I didn't spend a lot. And the clock.

-Spelter, 1930s, French.

Pretty girls help sell things. You get them with animals on.

It's nice to have these little side pieces, the garnitures.

-I got it for £110.

-'Oh! Sharp intake of breath.'

-And then this Lurtz-type glass.

-Oh, yes. It's cheap and cheerful.

-If we turned up at a fair with a table like this...

-We'd sell out.

And we'd be having a G&T with our profits in the bar right now.

-Actually, that's not a bad idea.

-Shall we?

'Before you have that drink, it's time to find out what they really think.'

Listen, he stands a chance - just as much chance as I do.

We're at the hands of the auctioneer now. Could be the flip of a coin.

The Mouseman breadboard is wonderful.

At £100, I think that's a steal. Absolute steal.

'It's time to get back to Southend and head to today's auction.

'On the fourth leg of their road trip,

'our hardy hagglers have cut a dash across London and into Essex,

'starting in Crystal Palace

'and ending up in Southend-on-Sea for the auction.'

Mark, remind me where we are today.

-I thought we were in Southend, but can you see the sea?

-Not yet.

I can't. Where is it?

'Here it is. Southend-on-Sea has seven glorious miles of seafront

'and all the fun of the fair.'

This looks like it.

And I'll just pull up outside here, shall I?

At a jaunty angle.

-Whoa!

-How's that?

-Perfect.

'Don't worry about the parking bays. Leave the car anywhere you like(!)

'Our experts are going head-to-head at Chalkwell Auctions.

'Established for 25 years, it has grown to be an important saleroom

'in the south of England and on the internet.

'Putting the boys under the hammer is Trevor Cornforth.'

My favourite item that I've seen,

probably because I was aware of them when I was a kid,

is the Mouseman cheese plate.

I think that's brilliant.

The other potential piece would have been the Chinese porcelain vase.

The Chinese is a very strong market at the moment.

The problem is that Chinese international buyers are only buying things that are perfect.

Sadly, that isn't.

'Will Axon set out on this leg with a whopping £325.86p

'and forked out 279 big ones on his five lots.

'Mark Stacey began this leg with £195.10p

'and finally got round to spending a mere £59 of it, also on five lots.

'Mm, those chairs are a bit fancy for you two.'

Oh, I say, Will! This is more like it.

-Feel like Posh and Becks.

-I wonder which is Posh and which is Becks.

-Depends on the day of the week.

-Could be the Addams Family!

-# Du-du-du-du

-Duh duh #

Let's hope Thing doesn't come in and ruin our day.

'Eyes up, Lurch. I mean, Mark.

'The Japanese casket with blue glass liner is up first.

'Will it fester or fly?'

Start me at £10. Ten to start, surely?

-Any interest at £10?

-Oh, come on.

I've got a bid of ten at the back. We're in the room at £10.

That's an interesting little item. At £10. All fini...

15. 20? 15 in the front with the lady, then.

At £15. Selling at 15...

20 back in on the net. 20 against you. Are you out?

An internet bid now at £20. 25, fresh place. 25 on the left.

Oh. £25.

Are we done at £25? 30 on the net.

35? All done at 30 on the net. Selling at 30.

-Well done, Mark.

-I'm pleased with that, Will.

'"Arigato," says Mr Stacey.

'That's a handsome mark-up to start.

'And it's Mark's next lot, the quarter size ship's decanter.

'It's bound to float someone's boat.'

For an elegant lady to pretend she doesn't drink.

Start me at £20 on it. See what happens.

-20 I'm bid straight away.

-Oh!

At 20 seated. Here at £20.

It's a sweet piece. 25. And 30. And 35?

40. 45? 50.

45 at the front. We're selling at £45.

All done at 45?

-I'm happy with that, Will.

-Should be.

'You certainly should! Another sturdy profit there.'

Well, Mark, my moment of truth is soon to arrive.

-Oh, Will, I don't think you've got any problems.

-Oh, the tension!

'It's Will's first lot.

'Can this selection of kitchenalia serve up a profit?'

I've got £20 bid. 25 in the room.

I've got 25 seated. I need 30. 30 here.

35? It's against you at £30 on the internet.

We're at 35. And 40 now.

-£40 on the internet.

-Internet.

At £40. Looking for 45.

At £40 at the moment. We're selling...

-Doubled your money.

-Bet you're happy with that.

-I'm happy with that.

'Looks like you've got a profit on a platter there.

'It's the Art Deco figural clock next, Will.'

Start me at £30. Let's give it a chance. 30. 35. 40. 45. 50.

60? £50 on my right. In the room at £50.

At £50. We're looking for 60.

£50 bid on the clock set. Must be worth more than that.

60 on the left. 70?

60 with the lady seated, then. In the room at £60.

-We're selling at £60.

-BANGS GAVEL

Oh, gosh!

'The clock failed to chime with the bidders.'

Never mind. I'm learning.

'You might be learning, but you're not earning.

'Let's see if Mark's Chinese book slide can be a best-seller.'

Pretty little item, very practical.

Start me at £20 on it.

Nice little piece. £20, surely. 20 I'm bid. In the room at £20.

Surely that's not going to be it at £20? Are you done at 20?

All finished.

-Well, that's fine.

-Well done, Mark.

'After auction costs, it's a modest profit, but a profit, nevertheless.'

It's the Chinese vase, which actually is there.

-It looks rather nice on there.

-I think someone's given it a polish.

Start me at £50 on it, see what happens. £50 to start.

-Any interest at £50? Must see £50, surely?

-Come on!

Start me at £20. I've got to start somewhere.

-50 came in at the last minute.

-£50!

-We're at £50.

-Come on. You know you want it!

I have a bid of £50. I'm looking for £60.

-It's lovely.

-Wonderful news for you.

-Finished...

'Cor! You're in the pink, Mark - considering the lid's wrong!

'Can Will get back on track with his next lot?

'It's his maple-framed drawing of a country house.'

Start me at £20 on it. £20 on the little drawing.

It's very sweet. £20 to start? Have to see a start of £20.

It's with me, personally, at £20...

'While unusual, it's not illegal for an auctioneer to bid on an item.'

-..With me on the rostrum at £20.

-Not my day today.

-25 on the net.

-Oh!

-I've got 25. And 30 with me. It's at £30 at the moment.

I'm looking for 35.

-Are we done at £30? All done.

-BANGS GAVEL

-Well, that's a fair price.

-You were right.

'A picture-perfect buy for our auctioneer.

'He's made you a neat profit, Will.

'How will the bidders react to Mark's biggest purchase?

'At a costly £20, his pottery wall bracket is next under the hammer.'

Start me at £20 on this. I'm starting you low. 20 I'm bid.

In the room at £20. At 20. 25. And 30. And 35? And 40.

£40 in the room at the moment. Any advance on £40?

Come on. It's a lovely thing.

Are we done at 40? At £40.

At 45. And 50? £50 seated.

-Bit more! Come on! Bit more!

-I'm selling at 50...

That's all right.

'All right for you, Mark. That's you done.

'You've not had any trouble making a profit today.

'Now, how will the bidding go on Will's lot of five glass items?'

Nice little lot. Start me at £20? See where we go.

20 to start. 20 I'm bid. In the room at £20. At £20 here.

At £20. Surely more than that.

And 25. 30?

-£30 seated. It's at £30.

-Small loss.

At £30. All finished?

Do you know what? I'm not surprised any more.

'Maybe you needed more luck money on that, Will.

'Another loss, I'm afraid.

'It's Will's last lot, the Mouseman oak cheese board.

'If that flies, he could still win today's auction.'

Start me at £30 on it straight away. 30. 35. 40. 45. 50. 60.

60 seated in the room. Any advance on £60?

We're at 60. 70. 80?

£70 on the internet. Are you on the telephone on this?

It's 80 with me. I'm bidding now, personally. At £80.

'Gosh! He's at it again!'

I like this little piece. It's a current bid with me of £80.

Any advance on 80? 90 in the room. That's sparked your interest!

-LAUGHTER

-90 back in the room.

90 against me now. In the room at £90.

I'm 90. Looking for 100. At £90. All finished?

Will, I'm sorry. I think that was an absolute steal for somebody.

'That's the luck of the auction, though - or lack of it.

'Hard cheese, old fruit.'

It's worth £200 to £300. I know that. You know that.

I've sold them for 300 quid all day long in North Yorkshire. That's what they're worth.

-I would have bought it.

-C'est la vie.

-I would have done the same.

-You know, I know and Tim knows.

-HEAVENLY CHOIR SINGS

-'All I know is Mark's the winner of today's auction.

'Will Axon's lead didn't last long.

'He kicked off this leg with £325.86p,

'but after auction costs, made a shattering loss of £74,

'and starts next time with £251.86p.

'Mark Stacey made an incredible comeback.

'Starting this leg with £195.10p,

'he earned a fantastic £100.90p profit after auction costs,

'giving him exactly £296 to play with on the last leg.'

Well, ups and downs, ups and downs, ups and downs.

-The heavens are going to open.

-Oh, no!

-Let's go!

-It's hailing, Mark. Ay-ay-ay!

-It's your fault, Will. Come on!

Let's go, Will.

'It's onwards and upwards!

'Next time, on the Antiques Road Trip, Mark Stacey finds an admirer.'

-I like you.

-I like you, too.

'While Will Axon has a bit of a wobble.'

-Start to nod off, absolutely.

-It works!

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