Episode 17 Antiques Road Trip

It's the nation's favourite antiques experts with £200 each,

-a classic car...

-We're going roond!

..and a goal to scour Britain for antiques.

I want to spend lots of money!

The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction, but it's no mean feat.

-Oh, no!

-There will be worthy winners...

-Yes!

-We've done it!

-..and valiant losers.

-You are kidding me on.

So, will it be the high road to glory or the slow road to disaster?

-What am I doing?

-You've got a deal.

This is the Antiques Road Trip.

This week's jaunt brings together two auctioneers

competing for Road Trip glory in not so sunny Scotland.

-It's a right dreish day.

-What's a...a what?

-A dreish.

-I think you'll find it's dreich.

-I didn't know you spoke Scottish.

I know, it's amazing. It's just being here, it just comes back.

With over 25 years' experience,

James Braxton is a sucker for new finds.

As soon as you mention fresh goods,

sort of the hairs on the back of my neck start tingling.

And as a prolific collector, Philip Serrell tends to follow

the old adage, one man's trash is another man's treasure.

What am I doing?

But sometimes it's just rubbish.

Our two experts started with £200 each

and on today's second leg, there's just under £39 between them.

Philip's random selection managed to scrape a small profit at the first

auction, meaning he's got £213.58 to spend today, bless him.

James, meanwhile, doubled his dough

with his stilton scoop and carved ship's hull,

giving him the lead with £252.56 to use as they hit the road again.

Look out, old girl.

-You are one of life's smilers, aren't you?

-Yeah, I know.

I've never been a great smiler.

Your face looks slightly odd when you smile.

Your face sits slightly better with the curmudgeonly look.

It seems to help him get good deals, though.

The chaps are back in the awesome 1955 Austin-Healey.

It's a snug fit for the fellas, so they should try and play nicely.

I've got every reason to feel curmudgeonly in a minute

cos I thought I was robbed yesterday. Absolutely robbed.

-You weren't. Must have been an embarrassment.

-How dare you!

Well, the profits speak for themselves, Philip.

Our experts' epic 920-mile expedition takes them

from central Scotland, through the Borders to the Lakes,

Lancashire, Cheshire, Merseyside and winds up in Newport in Shropshire.

The second stint is a stunning venture from Biggar

in the Borders down to auction in Kendal.

-The Scottish Borders are beautiful, aren't they?

-Yeah.

You get a thumping great river rushing through it.

The Scottish Borders cover about 1,800 square miles.

For around 300 years, this land was home to the Reivers.

These lawless gangs survived by plundering livestock,

kidnapping and racketeering.

The historic market town of Biggar didn't escape these troubles,

but it's probably better known for a 13th-century battle where

William Wallace is said to have helped defeat the English.

Today, it plays host to a new battle, Braxton vs Serrell.

So, what's the plan?

Generally, the person who owns the shop knows their stuff

-a lot better than I do.

-So you ask them? I ask them.

Quite clever, isn't it? Don't you do that?

My plan was five legs, try and make sort of 50 or 80 quid a leg.

-I've fallen at the first hurdle.

-That's the beauty of this business.

It can all change in a day.

So it's time for Philip to get back in the game.

-James, this looks like heaven for me.

-It does.

-See you later. Have a good day.

-Bye.

Just outside Biggar is an antiques and French polishing specialist firm

-run by Mark Atwood.

-I wonder if there's a pot of gold over there.

-Hi.

-Good morning, Philip.

-Good to see you. How are you?

-Very well.

Blimey. You've got some good things in here, haven't you?

Mark has been running his shop for over 19 years,

so the showroom is like an Aladdin's cave, crammed full of goodies.

Music to Philip's ears.

-I think I've got a touch of the Elgar about me.

-More like the elbow!

Antique conductors' batons can fetch hundreds of pounds,

depending on the materials, but as Philip still only has

just over £200, he needs to tap into some bargains.

-This chair is interesting, isn't it?

-It is a beautiful chair.

-It's a dentist's chair.

-Is it?

-Yep. I think it's really fun.

How do you know it's a dentist's chair? Because it could have been...

-I was thinking it could have been a barber's chair.

-Very much so.

But on the back it's stamped up from a dentists' suppliers

-so it's actually got a dentist mark on it.

-And how old is that? 1920s?

-I would say...yeah, 1920s.

-And what's the ticket price on that?

-It's 160.

-I quite like that.

But I'm not sure Philip could be persuaded to spend more than

-half of his budget on one item.

-You must be joking!

On the other hand, maybe Mark knows getting Philip to pay up

is like pulling teeth!

-What's that there? Is that a chaff cutter?

-It's a corn grinder.

This turn-of-the-century hand-turned corn grinder

was manufactured by a company called R Hunt & Co.

They exported their agricultural machinery all over the world

from their Essex-based ironworks.

You put your ears of corn in there and what does it do? Chomp it all up?

-Chop it up.

-How much is that?

-That one is 85.

-OK.

James Braxton reckons I'm always going and buying agricultural tut.

Tut? What do you mean?

In a way, I'm tempted to buy just to sort of prove him wrong, really.

I would come down to 60 but whether that's enough for you...

Well, we can have a look round, can't we?

I like your style, Phil.

Not committing until you're satisfied you seen everything.

Meanwhile, James is kicking off his shopping in style,

taking the scenic route.

It really is glorious scenery.

Just really nice countryside.

-Morning.

-Morning.

25 miles east of Biggar is the small town of Innerleithen in Tweeddale,

so-called due to its proximity to the River Tweed.

The town is said to have been founded by a pilgrim monk

called St Ronan in 737 AD, a story later used

by Sir Walter Scott in his novel, Saint Ronan's Well.

James is here to do a little finding of his own

and he's hoping shop owner of 20 years Margaret Maxwell can help.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-James.

-Pleased to meet you.

James isn't taking his own advice

and rather than asking Margaret for hers, he's diving straight in.

That's quite unusual. San Francisco.

Nice, British Overseas Airways Corporation.

This is glamorous.

It has a real '60s feel about the whole thing.

Would something like £20 be a fair price for that?

-I think that might be tricky for that one.

-Really? Oh, sorry!

-I didn't have my glasses on!

-THEY LAUGH

It's 365!

Perhaps you should look at the price tag properly next time, old bean.

But Margaret has dug out something else to try and tickle your fancy.

-What's this? This looks quite nice.

-Well, I was thinking...

Is it from Kendal? Because Kendal, the Lake District...

-I'm afraid it's not.

-..is known for its copper, isn't it?

Yes, it is. That's what I was thinking.

I like this band going around it.

-And it seems to be double skinned, doesn't it?

-It does.

Rather interesting. And how much have you got on that one?

-Let's say 35.

-35.

Double skinned means two layers of copper

where one side can be embossed without the pattern going through

or both sides could have different patterns.

As Cumbria is known for its copper industry,

a copper bowl has the potential to do nicely at auction in Kendal.

There's something lovely about copper, isn't there?

-Can I squeeze you a bit? Would you do it for 30?

-OK.

-30.

I'll take it, Margaret. That's very kind. Thank you. Right.

I think my work is done here.

And James is first off the blocks with his Arts and Crafts bowl.

Back in Biggar, Philip's shopping trip is about

-to go down the old proverbial.

-Oh, I love that!

-You would!

-Most people would see a lavatory seat, wouldn't they?

-Erm, yes!

But all I can see is a portrait frame.

I could just see Braxton's head in that, hung on the wall. Fantastic.

Charming! I wouldn't spend a penny on that. Well, not Braxton's face.

But Philip seems taken with this Edwardian lavatory seat,

as well as the dentist's chair.

I think an auctioneer would estimate this at sort of £50-80, £60-90,

and the grinder, I think that's £30-50, £40-£60 worth.

-I'll buy the three bits for £120.

-Blimey, Philip!

That's pushing it out for you.

But he's keen to stick to his plan of making £50-80 profit a leg

-and he needs to make up for yesterday's shortfall.

-OK. £120.

You're an absolute gentleman.

And just like that, Philip's off to a super start,

snagging the dentist's chair for £65,

the corn grinder for £40 and the loo seat for £15.

Good work, sir.

Back in Innerleithen, and James is heading just south of the town

centre and across the River Tweed to Traquair House.

Dating back to 1107, Traquair is Scotland's oldest inhabited house.

It was originally a hunting lodge for the Kings and Queens

of Scotland until the late 15th century,

when the 1st Laird of Traquair took up permanent residence.

James is here to meet the current occupant,

Catherine Maxwell Stuart, the 21st Lady of Traquair.

-Hello. James Braxton.

-Hello, hi.

-So, what's it like, living in a castle?

Well, fantastic, really.

I feel really privileged to have been born and brought up here.

My children are doing the same.

Catherine's family roots are steeped in Catholicism,

which often put her ancestors at odds with society.

The Jacobite rebellions of the 17th and 18th century

were a particularly difficult time for an openly Catholic family,

as Catholics attempted to overthrow

the Protestant monarchy of Great Britain.

It's amazing how they managed to keep the house

because they were very strong Jacobites, supporters, really,

of the Stuart kings when it was not the right time to do so.

And also Catholics which, again, put them on the wrong side.

But you managed to survive, there's great tenacity through your family.

Yes. I think they were canny Scots.

Which could be said of Lady Winifred,

the 4th Earl of Traquair's sister-in-law.

She was married to ardent Jacobite William Nithsdale,

who was captured taking part in the rebellion.

Found guilty of treason,

he was sent to the Tower of London to await execution.

William, who was the 5th Earl of Nithsdale,

was captured during the 1715 first Jacobite uprising,

imprisoned in the Tower and he was going to be executed.

In fact, he had got to point of writing out his execution speech.

It was a tradition, before you are executed,

to really thank everybody in your life.

So there was a formality to it. It was a well trodden path, wasn't it?

I think so, yes.

The date was set but Lady Winifred couldn't accept her husband's fate.

She travelled almost 400 miles to beg the king for a pardon.

When she was refused,

she took matters into her own hands, with the help of her servants.

They started visiting William on a regular basis

and so on one occasion she went in with her maid servant.

The husband swapped clothes with the servant, who was wearing this cloak.

They managed to get out and she had so managed to confuse the guards

that she came in three hours later

and managed to rescue the maid servant as well.

-THEY LAUGH

-People always ask.

She probably gave them some good flasks of claret on the way in,

-didn't she?

-Exactly.

-Isn't that amazing?!

It's a humble cloak, isn't it?

Well, it would have been the maid servant's cloak.

The three escaped to France. They were never able to return.

But it became such a story in London that this style of cloak

-was known as the Nithsdale.

-It's a fabulous story.

But it's not the only one.

As the Jacobite rebellion gathered momentum,

Bonnie Prince Charlie was determined to claim back the British throne

for the Catholic Stuarts after Charlie's grandfather,

King James II, had been overthrown

and succeeded by his Protestant son-in-law.

Charlie stayed at Traquair while assembling his army

-before going into battle.

-Tell me about these splendid gates.

Well, these are the famous Bear Gates

that were only built in 1739 but then closed in 1745,

when Bonnie Prince Charlie came to Traquair and was recruiting support

and things were going very well then.

The Earl of Traquair, who was a great Jacobite,

fondly gave Charles his support and as he left, as a grand gesture,

he closed the gates, promising they wouldn't open them again

until a Stuart king returned to the throne.

The Jacobite cause didn't go to plan,

culminating in the Battle of Culloden

which took 1,000 lives and led to the end of the Jacobite rebellion.

Like William and Winifred, Charlie fled to France,

where a Catholic monarch still reigned.

To this day, these gates have never been reopened.

While James has been playing Lord of the Manor, Philip has

edged his way further into the heart of the Borders to Galashiels.

Before the Jacobite rebellions, this was territory for Border Reivers.

Today, an impressive statue on top of Galashiels' War Memorial

by local sculptor Thomas Clapperton immortalises the Border horsemen.

Philip has already parted ways with £120 but antiques and jewellery

shop owner, Kenny Philip, is ready to help him part with even more.

-Kenny, how are you?

-Hello. Pleased to meet you, Philip.

Kenny is relatively new to the antiques business,

after leaving a career in the local textile industry.

He has only had the shop nine months but has already built up

a remarkable collection to tempt Philip.

-Tell me about that then, Kenny.

-Royal Scots silk.

Obviously made somewhere between the Boer War and the First World War.

-It has been hand done silk work.

-It's beautiful.

-The condition is incredible.

-Hugely emotive as well, isn't it?

-You know, because war was a bit barbaric in those days.

-Right.

-How much is that?

-That, I'm looking for about £395.

It's lovely but it is way, way, way out of my price range.

And it's a bit too traditional for Philip,

who is usually more partial to the peculiar.

-Speaking of which...

-Kenny, what's the ticket price on these, please?

-The pair? I'd be looking for about £130.

-£130?

-Yeah, that's cheap.

-You haven't got a chair, have you?

I just feel myself going all faint.

-What might be the best you could do for the one?

-£30.

-You could £30?

Wow! That's a huge drop!

I really like the extinguishers but one is damaged.

I think Kenny's been quite fair on the price but £30,

if it makes £30, I've got to pay commission and that's £4.50 off

so I'd really need to try and buy it for £25.

Antique copper and brass fire extinguishers are very collectable

and can be used to create unique lamp bases or coffee tables

-that are right up Phil's street.

-How old do you think that is, Kenny?

It's got February 8th, 1898.

I'm just not convinced it's as old as you think it is.

I think that it's probably more like '30s.

Can I squeeze another fiver off you?

Well, I'll go against what they say about all Scotsmen,

that we're not all that tight and miserable,

and I think I could squeeze a fiver off.

You are a gentleman, mate. Thank you very much.

Philip, sitting down worked out well for you after all.

That's a fantastic deal for £25.

Philip has now paid £145 for his four items -

the fire extinguisher, dentist's chair,

corn grinder and loo seat,

-leaving just £70.

-Cheers, now. Bye.

James is lagging, having only bought one item.

He'll need to be on top shopping form tomorrow.

But for now, off to bed with you chaps.

An early start the next morning sees them

back behind the wheel of the open top Austin-Healey.

-This is no longer dreish...

-No, this is wet.

-This is rain. Not dreish.

No, it's dreich! But it's not all gloom and doom.

-I feel quite chilled about today.

-Do you?

Well, I bought four things yesterday.

I think I've got something that might just put out the Braxton fire.

-Really?

-I see what you did there.

And Philip certainly ground down the prices yesterday,

spending £145 on his four items,

trying to go out in a blaze of glory at auction

rather than down the Swanee.

Whereas James still has over £220 to spend after buying only

a copper bowl for £30.

What are you going to spend your money on?

Kendal was peopled by all those northern industrialists.

I'm going to be looking for Arts and Crafts stuff.

Sounds like a plan but in this game,

having a shopping list doesn't always work.

Our experts began in Biggar and are now turning south

towards the largest of the Border towns, Hawick.

Often a winner in the national floral awards,

this pretty town is known worldwide for its knitwear and textiles.

It was also home to the voice of rugby, Bill McLaren,

who used to play for the local team.

I love it because being a rugby man,

you've got all those... Borders was the hotbed of Scottish rugby and,

you know, Hawick, Jed, Kelso, Melrose.

I played in the Hawick sevens light years ago.

Now, that I would have liked to have seen.

The only sport taking place today is seeing which of the fellas

can hook an antique gem and who will be getting a shoeing at auction.

-All right, James. Don't buy anything cheap. Go for broke!

-Bye.

To try and score his second lot, James is meeting

owner of one of Hawick's newest antiques shops, Scott McIntosh.

-Hello, James.

-Nice to meet you, James, Scott.

Hi, good to meet you, Scott.

Great Scott, James looks like he means business.

-OK, well, I'll have a good look round.

-Please do.

Are there any bargains that you think I should be looking at?

Everything's a bargain in here.

JAMES LAUGHS

James is following his plan and asking Scott for advice.

Even though his shop's only been open for ten months,

Scott's managed to amass quite an assortment.

It's a copper chafing dish that's caught James' eye.

So, chafing dish, I've quickly looked up,

it comes from the French word chauffeur, "to make warm."

So, we've got the burner here, making warm.

It's been cleaned within an inch of its life

so it's taken off the silver plating here and revealed its copper body.

So, here we are. Sheffield-plated here.

Copper has been plated with silver since the mid-18th century

when Sheffield-based metal worker Thomas Boulsover discovered

that metals could be fused, resulting in a finish with

the appearance of solid silver but far less expensive.

This method is now generically termed Sheffield plate.

How much on something like this?

-We were looking for...

-Think cheap, Scott.

We were looking for 50, James, but I can do...

What's the best price you could do on that one?

25.

25? That's very kind.

I'll definitely take that at 25, that's very kind, Scott.

-Thank you, you're welcome.

-And another lot for James.

-But that's still only two to Philip's four.

-Thank you very much.

Thank you very much indeed.

Meanwhile, Philip's en route to his next shop in the historic

royal borough of Jedburgh, just ten miles north of the border,

and it's nice to see Philip's got the roof working this time.

I've got to rely on my judgment, not James' misfortune,

so what I've really got to do now is focus on this last job.

I've got one thing to buy.

You know, that could make it or break it for me

so I've really got to keep a...

You know, keep your buying head on.

Be a bit hard-nosed.

Watch out, Jedburgh.

This enchanting town has captivated people for centuries.

Sir Walter Scott, Robert Burns and William Wordsworth all walked

the streets here but its most famous resident was Mary, Queen of Scots.

Philip's come to meet the slightly less well-known Mary Swann.

-How are you?

-I'm fine, thank you.

-Good to see you.

And as Philip's known for buying his rural bygones,

where is more appropriate than a shop called Bygone Days?

I'm on a real mission today. I've got one item to buy.

What I really need is a profit, you know?

-I quite like those brass bits there.

-Oh, right.

Have you got any other bits that we could perhaps put with it?

I've got a couple of pieces of copper in the cellar.

-You've got a cellar?

-Yeah.

If I'm not back in ten minutes, just send a search party for me, please.

And off Philip goes again.

-There's another saucepan, isn't it?

-Eh, yeah. Copper saucepan.

-You know how you tell an old pan?

-Mm, no.

-It's effectively the seam.

It's where they join the copper together.

It's where the top joins the sides and on newer copper,

it's a straight line and on old copper, you've got this zigzag.

Can we take it upstairs?

-Blimey, that's a good omen.

-Walk away, Philip, walk away.

Right. So, what we've got is two old saucepans.

The larger one has a ticket price of £40 and the smaller is 20.

I'd quite like to buy these.

But it means I've got to try and buy them at between 25 and 30 quid.

-Right.

-Can I do that, do you think?

-I could do the two of them for 30.

-And that's the best-best-best?

-That's the best-best-best.

-OK, I'm going to buy those off you.

-OK.

-You're an angel, thank you very much indeed.

-Such a charmer, Philip.

-30, there we are.

-That's lovely, thank you very much.

-And with that, Philip's shopping is done.

-Cheers, bye.

-Bye.

Meanwhile, the old smoothie James is crossing

the border from Scotland to England, heading to Brampton in Cumbria.

This small market town was one of the first 100 UK towns to be

given Fairtrade status. This means that people

and businesses of Brampton had made a commitment to supporting

some of the poorest farmers and workers

around the world by using products with the Fairtrade mark.

Today, James is hoping to do some fair trade of his own.

Nice to get out of the rain.

Now, I've got three more items to buy and I need to beat that Serrell.

And helping him

is owner of the Cumbrian Antiques Centre, Steve Summerson-Wright.

-Hello.

-Hi, how are you doing, James? Steve.

Oh, you've got so many goodies here, haven't you?

The Centre is home to 40 different dealers,

so James should be able to source something from his shopping list.

-Oh, there you go, there's a nice piece of Keswick.

-Right.

-But this is actually...

-But this is stamped.

It's got everything you want on it - patent number, everything.

It's a nicely-made object, isn't it?

The Lake District's natural beauty

and resources inspired local craftspeople in the late 19th

century as part of the Arts and Crafts movement.

The Keswick School of Industrial Art was known for its metalwork,

producing trays, bowls and brass bellows like these.

So, you've got some boards here and then you've got this brass

skin which is nicely stamped up and a very nicely turned nozzle there.

-That's definitely on my list.

-Right.

-Definitely on my list.

Meanwhile, Philip's staying in Jedburgh to find out

more about the town's most renowned - albeit temporary - resident.

Mary, Queen of Scots spent six weeks at this 16th-century towerhouse

whilst on an official tour in 1566.

Curator of the visitor centre, Shona Sinclair,

is going to show Philip around.

-Good to see you.

-Yeah, good to see you.

Mary became Queen of Scotland at only six days old.

In 1542, the key to her success was marrying well

and producing a male heir.

After Mary's first husband died, she married again, bearing a son

who would eventually become the first King of the united crown.

But Mary already doubted her choice of husband

and began looking elsewhere, growing close to one of her advisers.

And who is Bothwell?

Bothwell was seemingly a charismatic character, a strong character.

So, she'd appointed Bothwell by that time Lieutenant General.

When Mary got here to preside over the court,

she heard that Bothwell had been in a skirmish

and he was seriously ill and lying in Hermitage Castle.

So, she went to see him.

It was quite an achievement

because she travelled by horseback from Jedburgh to

Hermitage Castle in one day and it's an almost 50-mile round trip.

-So, the fact that she's got a four-month-old son...

-Yeah.

..she's got Darnley in Edinburgh

and she's hoofing up to Hermitage to see Bothwell.

-Bit of a girl, isn't she?

-She is a bit of a girl.

The arduous 50-mile journey to Hermitage Castle and back, just

four months after Mary had given birth, was extremely dangerous.

It was said that Mary fell from her horse en route and since then,

several objects have been recovered which tie in with

reports of the incident.

First of all, we have the watch.

Mary is said to have dropped the watch

and it was found almost 100 years later by a local shepherd.

Oh, that's a great romantic story, isn't it?

And again, when Mary fell from her horse, ripped her dress

and one of her ladies-in-waiting then made a repair to her dress

and in doing so must have dropped the thimble.

-And what about this?

-The stirrup?

Again, it's just something that has been retrieved again from that

route and donated to the house as part of the cult of Mary.

What I think is really lovely about these is

whether they were Mary's or not is irrelevant in a way -

they're part of the folklore and the legend that is Mary, isn't it?

Mary's affair and subsequent marriage to Bothwell

eventually led to her demise.

She was forced to abdicate the throne, imprisoned by her cousin,

Queen Elizabeth I, for 19 years and finally beheaded at the age of 44.

-BLADE SLICES

-Ooh.

Bad luck.

-So, this is a copy of Queen Mary's death mask?

-Yeah.

As soon as possible after death, you would strike a wax mask

and then it's covered in plaster to get an impression of what

somebody looked like.

So, if anybody of note in history would have a death mask,

usually they would be white.

This isn't because friends of the person who donated

the mask to the museum thought it would be a good idea to have

it painted to make it look more lifelike.

Really stunning-looking lady, isn't she?

What in your view is Mary's legacy that she left?

Mary means a lot of things to a lot of different people

but her main legacy is she was the mother of the man,

the future monarch, who would unite the crowns of England

and Scotland and her lineage has now gone through

the United Kingdom's crowns to the current day,

so if that's not a legacy, I don't know what is.

Back in Brampton, James' Arts and Crafts wishlist

got off to a good start, but he's not done yet.

Mirrors are always popular, aren't they?

Yeah, that's Arts and Crafts, it's probably more likely Scottish.

-Do you think so?

-I'm no expert on Arts and Crafts, but possibly.

You see a lot of Ruskin enamel in here.

The two most influential figures in the Arts and Crafts MOVEMENT

were designer and writer William Morris

and theorist and art critic John Ruskin.

Ruskin Pottery was formed following Ruskin's principles,

making enamels or plaques that were mounted on wood or metal.

I like that. That's on the list.

And Steve's picked out something that's usually more Philip's style.

Steve, what's this?

It's an old antique cart jack for fixing...

It wouldn't be a puncture in those days, would it?

-..your broken spoke or something.

-Yeah.

-Basically, a spring...

-Release spring's there.

The release spring would sit in there

and then you would have a toggle in here for turning

and it just keeps going up until it lifts you off the ground

so you can take your wheel off and sort your wheel.

That is amazing, isn't it?

This would be taking Philip Serrell on at his own game.

-This is a rural bygone.

-Without a doubt.

James is taking a risk, stomping on Philip's rural bygone territory.

But will it pay off?

-How much are these priced at, Steve?

-The bellow was at 55.

-We could stretch it and let you have him for 45. The mirror, 75.

-Yeah.

And I'm sure we'd be able to let you have that for about 60.

These guys, a chancy £50.

It could be a bit rich. It did come in with some other things.

If you give me two minutes, I shall go and have a look.

Philip will be so jealous if I buy this.

Not only does this car jack have a lovely look to it, very unusual,

very novel, but it also has rust, has a bit of worm,

and I don't think you can beat a rural bygone like this.

Cor, listen to that. He wouldn't be saying it if Philip had bought it.

-Oh, blimey.

-I'm like the Grim Reaper.

That is an offensive weapon, Steve.

I had a look and this actually came from the same farm

so I suppose it should stay together.

-You can have the jack and the scythe for £40.

-£40.

Well, I'm definitely going to take those.

-Could you do the other two for 100, chief?

-Yeah, that'll be fine.

Really lovely afternoon.

You've got fabulous stock and I'm spoilt for choice.

-But I'm very pleased with this.

-I love that.

Yeah, Philip will be weeping when he sees that.

At £140, James has managed to knock off £40 from the ticket

prices of his bellows, mirror and cart jack and get a free scythe.

He's now done for the day and along with his copper bowl

and chafing dish, James has six items ready for auction,

costing a grand total of £195.

After spending £175, Philip also has six items - a pair of saucepans,

a dentist's chair, a loo seat, corn grinder and the fire extinguisher.

But what will they think of each other's lots? Fire away, chaps.

He is trying to out-Serrell Serrell.

He's been and bought a scythe and now, well,

I'm not quite sure what you'd call it,

but where he's been really, really clever,

he's been and bought himself some Keswick School of Industrial Art

bellows and I think that's his real banker for this auction.

Always touching the boundaries of antiques,

he's found some nice items.

I like his dentist's chair, that fire extinguisher is a flashy

item and as for the loo seat, where does one stand on it?

Will Philip Serrell be going down the proverbial?

We shall see,

as the gents come to the end of their 200-mile journey,

crossing the finishing line at auction in Kendal.

That's if they ever get there.

I think you should just concentrate.

You're meandering again, you're over the white line again. What was that?

-Watch out, James.

-How'd you get rid of whiplash?

Kendal is known worldwide for its mint cake

but the market town was almost the inspiration for Postman Pat's

village, Greendale, as it was home to the creator, John Cunliffe.

The Lake District's most famous writer

though is surely Beatrix Potter.

What do you call a drunken snooker player who does strange shots?

-Eh, Dodgy Potter.

-No, Beertrix Potter.

-What?

-Beer-trix Potter.

Beer-trix Potter.

THEY CHUCKLE

Eighteen Eighteen Auctioneers have been auctioning goods since,

funnily enough, 1818.

Today, it's the appropriately-named Kevin Kendal at the helm,

and who better to tell us what he thinks of the fellas' haul?

Phil's gone for the gamble with the interest in the unusual,

the items that could do well but could go either way,

whereas James stuck with the bankers, the items that there

will be a market for but with the prices, it could be a break-even.

Lord above.

-Ooh, dear me, James.

-Ooh, dear.

-Careful, chaps, you don't want to do yourself a mischief.

-Come on then.

Let's see what's going to happen.

Philip's still trying to tout his loo seat as a frame

-but James' face does look a picture.

-That's lovely.

I love the way your lots have a theme, Philip.

But it's time to start proceedings. Let the auction commence.

First up, Philip's corn grinder.

£40 if you like, 40.

-£40 for a rural bygone.

-See? Rural bygone.

Ten in the centre, thank you. 10, 12, 15, 18, 20.

22, 25, 28.

28 in the centre then and selling at 28.

-How much did you...?

-Could you just wipe the smile off your face?

-No, but...

-Just wipe that nasty smile off.

Ouch! What a way to start with a £12 loss, eh?

-Just remind me...

-No, just shut up.

-How much?

Just shut up, that's not a nice look.

Neither is the face of a sore loser.

Next up, it's James' copper Arts and Crafts bowl.

£30? We'll start at 20 then.

20, 22, 25, 28, 30.

32, 35, 38. 40.

James, I'm developing a very strong dislike for you.

45, 48.

-Get that smug, supercilious smile off your face, please.

-48.

If you're done then at 48.

A solid profit at £18.

I got out of that one, didn't I?

"Oh, I got out of that one, didn't I?" I don't even like you.

Next in the hot seat is Philip's dentist's chair.

Really interesting and unusual,

who wouldn't want this in the living room?

Where are we going to go with it for a start? Couple of hundred?

Start me at £100 then.

Go 50 on the telephone then, 50 on the phone.

60 on the internet, I'll come back to the phone. 65, 70, 75.

80. 85.

85 now. 90. 95.

Crikey, it's flying away.

95 now. 100, new bidder.

100, 110 behind you.

110 in the doorway, we'll sell away then if you're all done at 110.

-My word.

-Do you know? He's nearly choking.

He's almost doubled his money. A fantastic comeback from Serrell.

That is outrageous, isn't it?

Does that mean I'm about 20 quid behind you then?

Is that what it means?

Well, you've put on some weight there, haven't you, chief?

Hoo-hoo! That's a bit harsh.

Philip's catching up.

Let's see if James' chafing dish can heat things up further.

Nice thing, that.

Start me at 20, I will take 20 for a start. Thank you, lady's bid.

£20 now. 22, 25.

28, 30 now online.

30 now. 30 bid.

We're on the internet, you're all out in the room. 32, thank you.

32, 35. 38.

With £38 then in the room and selling, all done at 38.

I've got to tell you, that's a bit of relief, really,

cos you've only made a tenner out of that(!)

And every little counts in this game.

You've got that smile on your face again.

Please don't do it, James, it's not good. Don't cover that smile.

Will you please put your hand down?

THEY CHUCKLE

You're such a ratbag.

-Now, it's time for Philip's Edwardian toilet seat.

-Lot 50A.

LAUGHTER IN CROWD

Yep, it just needs a little bit of imagination, that's all.

Picture frame, flower arrangement. £10 then, start me.

-£10 for the lavatory seat.

-Five.

-Are you bidding? Five!

10 bid. 12 anywhere? 12, thank you, 12 bid.

15. 18. 20, 22.

22. 22.

-I think it's washed its face.

-Philip!

I'm going to sell away, the bid's in the room. If you're done then at 22.

Not bad, really, considering. So, can Philip's pans pan out for him?

Start me at £50. 30 then?

30 if you like.

-Right down.

-Easy now, James.

-Don't be so mean.

£20. Thank you, £20 bid.

22, 25. 28.

30. 30 now.

£30 bid on the front row. £30 only.

£30, we're going to sell if you're all done at 30.

You've got that look on your face.

-You are such a nasty piece of work, aren't you?

-30.

And that's a loss after auction costs.

Now, it's James' turn to give Philip a run for his rural bygone money.

£20 if you like. 20?

£20? Thank you, £20 bid now, 20 bid.

You could have got it for a tenner.

30. 32, we're away on the net, 32, 35, 38.

-I don't believe it.

-38.

-You're all out in the room.

-40. 40.

40, 42, 45, the lady.

Well done.

48.

Bid's on the internet. Have you all done this time then at 48?

And at £48, James has just scraped a profit.

-Philip's up next with his antique fire extinguisher.

-30 if you like.

£30.

£20.

James, I'm in real trouble here.

£20 bid, 20 bid. 22.

We've got lots of interest on the net. 25, 28, 30. 30 bid.

32, 35, 38, 40.

40 bid. 42, thank you in the room.

45, 48, 50, 55. 55 in the room then.

If you're all done then... 60.

65.

Put it...put it... Put it down, put it down.

£75 then. In the room and selling, all done at 75.

Well done, Philip. He's tripled his money.

You made about 40 quid on that.

-Yeah, and I thought I was in the doo-doo there.

-Not at all.

But let's see if James' next lot can puff up his profits too.

Are we going to give 100? £50 then, somebody?

£50, surely somewhere at 50.

Yes, 50 on the net. 55 on the net now.

-60, 70.

-Well done, James.

75, 80. 80 bid. I'll take five in front if you like.

Don't lose them to the net now. £80, we're going to sell.

85, thank you.

85 in the room. 90 now. 95. 95. 100.

£100 on the internet, I'm going to sell if you're all done at 100.

That's not bad, is it? It's good. I'm pleased with that.

-Smug, smug smile's come back.

-I know. You're allowed a small smile.

Especially when you've more than doubled your money, James.

-Well done.

-I think my mirror's going to struggle here, don't you?

I hope so. I mean it might do, yes.

Let's see, as finally, it's James' Arts and Crafts mirror.

£50 if you like, somebody for a quick start. £50 on the net bid.

No, no, no.

70, 75, 80.

85 if you like, I've 80 on commission. 90 now.

-James, I'm snookered.

-Oh, no.

90 bid. 95 in the room.

95, that's good.

-100. Let's have tens.

-Don't rub it in, James.

-110.

-Come on, keep going, Kendal.

-110. You're both out on the internet.

120. 130. Selling at 130.

Jeepers. James has doubled his money again. What a way to finish, eh?

Well done, mate.

Well, I think you did very well with that mighty dentist's chair.

-That will live with me.

-Ah, yeah, well.

I've got to learn to shop clever. Shop Braxton, shop clever.

Come on, mate.

Philip began today with £213.58 and after auction costs at the end of

a pretty good day, he's picked up a profit of £42.30,

giving him £255.88 to play with next time.

James has built on his lead on this leg.

He had £252.56 in the kitty, and after paying auction costs, he's

totted up a profit of £103.48 so now has £356.04 to use on the next leg.

There's now just over £100 between them so the gap is widening.

I've got to say to you, James, hats off, mate, you did really well.

I mean, you bought for the sale, didn't you?

I bought for the Lake District.

So, what are you going to buy for the next one?

We're in the industrial heartland of England, aren't we?

-So, what are you going to buy?

-Over-engineered items.

-Over-engineered items? I'm on it, mate.

-Off we hop.

-Next time, our talented twosome are trying new tactics...

-50p.

It's a king's random, isn't it?

..Philip's playing the sympathy card...

I'm £100 behind at the minute.

..and James is always prepared.

I feel like a boy again.