Episode 8 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

Some of the nation's favourite celebrities...

What if we said 150 for the two? Then you've got yourself a deal.

..one antiques expert each...

Oh, that's cheating!

# Da, da, da, da, da, da, da! #

..and one big challenge - who can seek out

and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...

And with a lot of sincerity and honesty, that...

..and auction for a big profit further down the road?

Potential for disaster.

Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice?

What you've just come out with there, I cannot believe that!

And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?!"

Time to put your pedal to the metal!

This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

The road trip arrives in Cheshire for England versus Denmark,

with a pair of footballing legends in a 1964 Triumph hybrid.

We're going on an antiques road trip, not a rally!

-Well, we're in the first...

-You have done a bit a driving, obviously.

No, this is my first time. I don't have a licence!

From the world of international goalkeeping,

we have two pairs of very safe hands.

I'll tell you one thing I did admire about you,

was that you was that you had your own style, your way,

and I think that's what goalkeeping's about, I think.

It's going to be like this on this antique road trip.

-Do you want me to indicate?

-Yeah, yeah!

He's 1978's Player of the Year for Nottingham Forest.

He's England's most capped player, ever - 125 games -

but suffered terribly from an ambidextrous Argentinean.

He's taken his gloves off to get antiques-rummaging today.

He's Peter Shilton.

Something for a large cocktail!

And stepping off his line,

the man twice voted World's Best Goalkeeper.

He's the hero of Manchester United's 1999 treble win.

He's the "Great Dane",

with an amazing 129 caps for the Danish team.

But how can that be 40 quid?

He's Peter Schmeichel!

I won't be able to say, "Oh, that's worth anything, or that's valuable."

You're going to go by your instinct?

Well...no. What I'm going to go by - we've got to get help!

We've got to get expert help!

And help you gentlemen shall receive, with the keenest,

finest experts you can fit into this bijou 1972 Fiat Gamini,

which we've borrowed off Noddy. Now, which one's Big Ears?

Oh, it's going to be a bumpy ride, as Bette Davis said!

Hold on. So you sit..?

-On my word!

-Oh, hello!

-You like that?!

ENGINE REVS

-Oh, hello!

-Onward!

-Whoa!

He's a dashing, Caledonian auctioneer,

who knows the world of antiques like he knows himself.

This is where the nice young man thing turns into a...

-Oh, not so nice!

-..hideous monster.

Ha-ha! He's a militaria expert, he's a snappy dresser...

Hand over your money, sir!

..he's Paul Laidlaw.

I think that's quite sexy!

And I know what you're thinking. "Him?! An expert?! In what?!"

It's an...erm...antiques centre.

He's a shrewd antiques valuer, he's a natural-born Welshman,

and a bouncing Brighton boy.

He's Mark Stacey!

# He's football crazy He's football mad... #

New road trip, the world's best goalkeepers,

and our keenest antiques centre-forwards.

Stand by!

I've never been to a football match.

I don't think I've ever been to a football match.

# Duh, duh, duhhh! #

Oh, dear, oh, dear!

Waiting to see the guys that are going to guide us through this

and then...as you say, just go by...just go by our instincts.

I mean, I remember this much from school - I end up in goals,

if I was lucky enough to be the last guy to be picked,

-when there was no-one else to choose!

-Yeah, me too.

Go left, go right. The goalkeeper's pose!

Time of our superstars to meet our sensitive wallflowers.

I could do with the loo and a cup of tea.

-This is so olde worlde. Gentlemen!

-Hello!

Just been the scenic route!

-Hello. How nice to meet you.

-Very nice to meet you. I'm Paul.

You see, I've got a head start. I've brought two antiques.

I've got the car and Peter!

I like your style! I like your style!

Which teams do you support?

PAUL: Oh... Scotland!

You can go with Peter, then!

Peter Schmeichel should go with the dealer and Peter Shilton with the auctioneer, yes?

- An entente cordiale! - I'm happy with that!

Welcome to the winning team!

And they're off!

It's going to be an interesting away match,

so let's check the fixture list.

Cheshire's glorious antiques shops will play host for this trip,

before our teams hit an all-action auction in Runcorn.

First, up our footie celebrities

will get their first taste of serious browsing,

in Sandbach.

In 2008, Sandbach became an official Fair Trade Town.

Shops must be packed with locally sourced, sustainable goods.

So where to begin?

-You start by following your nose.

-Really?

And then grab... I always give the same advice.

If it grabs your attention, for good or bad reasons -

you might go, "Oh, my word, that's hideous!"

-That's a strong reaction. Strong reactions are good.

-Right.

And we need items that are going to stand out.

It's a bit like goalkeeping - it's being individual, isn't it?

Something that's going to be a bit special, take the imagination.

Yes. I mean no. It's really nothing like goalkeeping.

Saxon Cross Antiques is waiting to sell its wares,

with owner, and lone defender John, here to help.

-So we...what? We have £400?

-Yeah, we've got £400.

-In total?

-In total.

-Right.

-Plenty of choice in here.

-Ah, all'n'sundry is what I like.

Those are quite fun, those dragon candlesticks, with the inkwell.

-They're very decorative.

-Yeah.

-They're very interior design.

What would be a good price for us here?

If I was putting that into auction,

I would probably put maybe £100 to £150 on it.

-It's £95.

-No!

-Yeah.

Well, that's got someone interested!

This fancy dragon three-piece is very "Mark",

and comprises an ornate inkwell and two candlesticks.

£95 isn't a bad price for an early 20th century desk garniture.

If we could get that for much lower there might be a profit there.

And I think somebody would quite like that as...

A gentleman would like that on his desk, in his study.

-But if we could get it for, say, 50...

-We'd buy it.

We would buy it, wouldn't we?

Meanwhile, upstairs, Paul Laidlaw is...talking!

Some dealers specialise and others have a broad outlook,

and John's one of them.

I love broad outlooks, because, frankly, dealing with a specialist,

they're at the top of their game.

I'm going to make a suggestion.

-Yeah?

-Could we do, eh, we just have a slow walk round...

-Mm-hm?

-..we don't say anything.

I can have...just...just get a first impressions thing.

-Would that be all right?

-Let's do it, Peter. I'll go in the opposite direction.

-All right.

Maybe Peter needs a break from the chat.

Or he's taking this business pretty seriously.

I just want to get a feel of how I feel about certain objects.

Something...to put in the bathroom.

I've got a completely open mind at the moment.

You're doing a big dinner or something,

you want something to put something on, in the middle of a table.

I suppose it's called china, isn't it?

Well, that's what I'd call it!

Um...

Any luck with the inkwell set?

Yes. I've checked the price.

45.

£45! For the candlestick. The candlesticks and the inkwell.

-I like round figures.

-Right.

So fives are difficult for me. Peter doesn't do antiques.

He was thinking of about 30.

But will "thinking" get the price down, to £30?

Haggling is tricky for the strong, silent type!

Couldn't do 30. £40.

-£40?

-All right.

-OK. We've got a deal.

-Let's shake on hands on 40.

-OK.

-All right?

-OK.

Well done, chaps.

Although these are possibly more Stacey than Schmeichel.

What's next?

-That's for, em...

-It's for ham and things, isn't it?

-Yeah, isn't it?

-For meat.

-It's quite a neat object, actually.

-That actually, looks really nice.

But a lot of people want those sort of retro kitchens now.

-Yeah.

-That actually is quite a decorative object,

-as well as a very practical object.

-Yeah.

-Do you like it?

-Yeah. It's the kind of thing I would go for.

You know, big sort of heavy piece of wood that sits there, and...

-Quite masculine.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Quite chunky. You know...strength.

-I kind of like it, the more I...

-Yeah. I agree, actually.

Something meaty for Petey here. Ha!

A chunky Victorian chopping board,

updated in the 1930s with a metal steak stand and now priced at £65.

-John, we're being completely mad here...

-Right.

..and Peter really likes this, but it's missing a chain and a loop.

Well, the price I had on it was 65.

-Oh!

-Oh, no!

-No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, we weren't thinking that at all.

-No, no, no.

-Best I could do, 20.

-£20.

This football leg-end next to me is, you know,

is really interested in that.

It's nice and masculine, isn't it?

Yeah. That's... I like that.

But we have to make a profit on it.

-Yeah.

-And I'm not sure that there'd be many like me out there.

Looks like Peter Schmeichel's finding his inner haggler!

-On behalf of Peter, I've got to be honest with you...

-Right.

I'm sure he would be delighted to shake your hand at a tenner.

-Wouldn't you?

-I was thinking just that.

-Let's shake hands on a tenner. Yes?

-I'll go for that. £10.

Ten quid. Wonderful.

-Well done.

-John, you're an angel, thank you very much!

-We're happy with that, aren't we?

-I think we are, yeah.

But I'm not sure John's so happy.

Could he find more pleasure by helping the other Peter, and Paul?

-Don't mind me just kicking this ball past you...

-Right.

-..and striking.

-Yes?

You've not got any pieces of furniture

that are a pain in the neck, been sitting about for a while,

that you could...you'd be glad to see the back of?

-Yep.

-That'd be great.

-I'll have a look for you. Yeah, sure.

Excellent.

Well, if you don't ask, you don't get.

But what can John realistically let you have?

-I've got this mirror....

-That's delightful. Isn't that sweet?

The painting on that is absolutely fantastic.

Lovely - and five years ago, might have sold well.

But maybe not today.

So if we got it for a tenner, that would be all right?

Love the way your mind works, Peter! I'm loving working with you!

-You wish, you wish!

-There are two of us!

What would that...? Sort of...what, 30, 40 quid?

I would let you have it for 20, to help you beat the other Peter.

That sounds good to me. Does it you?

-I don't think he'd go any further.

-That was said with a lot of sincerity and honesty!

An English goalkeeper has got to beat the other Peter!

Well, John's much happier here with Team GB...

Lovely.

..and proudly helping a Scotsman to help an English legend.

-We're in agreement.

-Yes, we are.

An Englishman and a Scotsman are in agreement!

Drop dial clock, rosewood, mother of pearl and pewter inlaid.

Pewter inlaid?

You've got pewter inlaid and mother of pearl.

At this stage we are up against the clock.

Just realised what I did there!

Just coming thick and fast! Sorry about that!

We're ready for a penalty shoot out!

Um...tell me the price.

I'd do it for £60.

But would somebody want it, in this day and age?

Right now, it's old-fashioned. Could it be 30 quid?

And I know that's obscene money, but that's the market at the moment.

-Mm. 35?

-Yeah.

Right. Well done. Well done. Thanks very much, John.

And the end of this half, it's 2-2.

No sign of a yellow card...not yet!

But someone has to get the tiny red car!

Thar she blows! Chocks away! Hey-hey!

Hey-hey! We're on our way! Off we go!

Time for this celebrity road trip to hit the road.

Ridiculous motor!

Well, I think for what the asking prices were

and what we got them for...

There's a chance, isn't there?

Yeah. I'm quite optimistic about that.

Well, this is definitely a first, Paul.

This is something I've never experienced before in my whole life!

-A Noddy car for real!

-This is a Noddy car!

I'm surprised nobody's looking at us!

I'm not!

Sandbach is ticked off the fixtures list,

as we head 15 miles for an away match in Sandiway.

I went behind the school playing field

and he put a couple of cones down.

First game of football ever, in my life.

And he said, "Who wants to go in goal?"

-And I put my hand up.

-Right!

That's what goalkeepers are all about,

it's just one of those positions

that you either want to play or you don't.

And that was the start of my goalkeeping career, really,

and I must have been eight years old at that time.

That's how it all worked out.

I was playing for England against Scotland at Hampden Park.

I said, "Get the change goalkeeper's shirt out of the skip.

He came back and says, "We haven't put one in."

So the only jersey he could find was to borrow

a Scottish goalkeeper's shirt.

-So I played for England...

-In a Scotland shirt!

Out in front, Team Schmeichel are away to Peggoty's Attic,

with seasoned professional Gordon just waiting to get stuck in.

-We're going to have a whizz round.

-Yes.

-We're on a mission. Ah!

Looks like our chaps have hit this new shop meaning business.

That's a World Cup programme there.

-Is that a real...? That sounds very cheap for that.

-Exactly. 20 quid.

Let's have a look at that, just see what it is.

This is... Actually, this is quite interesting.

-I quite like this, this is quite...

-Do you?

Well, what you have here is a record of the 1966 World Cup.

And somebody has actually written all this in.

All the teams. All the games. The scorers.

This authentic 1966 World Cup tournament programme has been much loved and thoroughly used.

It's £20 here, but could it be more valuable

if a footballing legend sells it, or even signs it?

Do you think you could give me a discount on that?

Er...a small one. I can definitely do it for £18.

-18.

-Yeah.

-I've got to ask Gordon, because we are in the presence

of one of football's greatest goalkeepers.

Yeah. Eh, well...

Could we go... Can we go to 15, do you think?

We will buy it at 15.

Go on, then.

Congratulations, Peter!

A good price for an item dear to your heart,

but can anything here tickle Mark's fancy?

There is one thing in this cabinet which is very interesting actually.

Ohhhh!

It's a small collapsible pen by Sampson Mordan.

Oh, that's so sweet, isn't it? Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?

The first thing to talk about is

the fact that it's what we call a propelling pen.

They're normally pencils, and this would have gone on a little chain

on a lady's chatelaine,

which would have hung in late Victorian/Edwardian times

-on a lady's belt.

-Right.

Ordinarily, these are fairly common, and it's just chased in silver,

but the thing that really gives it a little bit of added provenance,

or added collectability, is that name - "S Mordan & Co."

-Samson Mordan. Some of their pieces...

-Can I have a look?

Please do.

Some of their pieces, they can make £3,000 or £4,000.

This is not going to make that sort of money.

-No.

-I mean, I don't even want to look at the price, Gordon.

I think they would estimate that at something like £40-80 at auction.

I mean, I'd love to get it for £30.

30? I'd like to be able to sell it you for 30.

-Well, there's nothing stopping you!

-Uh, there is.

-No, there's not, come on!

-There is, I have to buy some baked beans for tea.

I need to eat. I need to eat, I'm afraid!

I can do it you for 40.

Oh, but that's right on my low end estimate.

Oh! Sounds painful.

Well, why don't we split the difference and say 32?

You must have gone to a different school than I did!

Well, a Welsh school!

We'll do it for 35.

35?

-Well, I let you have your programme.

-Yeah!

Well done, gentlemen.

Now the Schmeichel auction arsenal

is looking a little more threatening.

ENGINE STALLS

BOTH: Oh, no!

And they're off! Again.

Meanwhile, Peter and Paul have gone on ahead,

slipping past sweet Sandiway

and bombing it 12 miles north to Warrington.

What's with penalties then? What's your philosophy?

There's different ways, you got the Bruce Grobbelaar,

where you fling your arms around,

I mean, those things are great when you actually,

when the striker misses the goal or you save one,

but if they stick it in the net you feel a bit silly, really, you know.

I played the percentage game really, unless I was really sure, 100%,

I knew which way he was putting it, and sometimes you can sense that.

But generally, you need a bit of luck.

Right.

That lucky chap Peter Shilton

is being taken for a little sporting treat.

In the Old Coach House is a collection and testament

to the history of bicycles.

Owner and curator Paul Adams is waiting to enthuse

to our national sporting treasure.

-Hello there.

-Good afternoon, chaps.

-I'm Peter.

-I'm Paul.

-Hello sir.

-Hi, I'm another Paul!

-Oh, are you! Right.

Paul's collected more than 100 antique bicycles over four decades,

and in 1980 turned his bursting coach house

into a wonderful cycling museum.

Exact origins are a topic of much debate,

but Scottish blacksmith Kirkpatrick MacMillan

is thought to have created

the first mechanically propelled model in 1839.

From early designs to the modern, medal-winning racing bike,

small innovations have come and gone.

-How did this all begin for you?

-Well, coincidentally,

we're standing next to the first bicycle I ever bought.

It's called a child's treadle bike.

The pedals don't go round, they go up and down.

-Unbelievable.

-And it's about 1920.

It's easy to forget that these simple standard mechanics

were not always uniform.

In their development, British bicycles have played a leading role.

This home grown velocipede dates from around 1869,

before the more famous Penny Farthings arrived.

Designers Ernest and Pierre Micheaux had a great idea called pedals.

This configuration here, this crucifix here,

serves a purpose, in so much as if you're going downhill, fast,

and the pedals are flying round,

you would put your hocks on here - it's called a hock rest.

Just to get your legs out the way?

Yes, quite. Because that's careering round at a rate of knots.

Yeah.

And if it bangs your ankle, you'll know about it.

You'll know about it, yeah.

For a braking system, these handlebars, they turn.

This cord activates the brake on the back wheel,

-which is only a block of wood.

-Right.

So the more tension you put on here,

the more of a braking action you get.

The saddle spring is simply a cart spring.

It's a piece of tempered steel.

If you're riding an iron-tyred machine on cobbles such as this,

it's going to shake your bones.

Ah yes, no good for sensitive derrieres then.

Bicycles have always been an enduring and much-loved

mode of transportation, respected today as both a great form

of exercise and an environmentally benign method of getting about.

But Paul just loves how they look,

in all their wacky historical incarnations.

I mean, it's so unusual, so unusual, isn't it?

-Oh, it's brilliant.

-I mean, this is incredible.

I mean, most of what we've seen today have got the leather seats.

Yes.

That must have been so much more comfortable just to sit on.

So intricate, and known as a hammock seat.

-Yeah.

-As you ride, it rocks.

Mm.

So it is extremely comfortable.

And this little gizmo here, this is called a bundle carrier,

and the idea is that the springs open up,

and in there you can put a newspaper or a cape in case it rains.

Fantastic, yeah, brilliant.

And again, it's a novelty to this machine.

-And what's the bike called, Paul?

-It's called a Dursley Pedersen.

Dursley Pedersen.

It was made and designed by a man called Mikhail Pedersen.

And what nationality was he?

He's a Dane.

-A Dane?

-A Dane.

We should have Peter Schmeichel here, not me!

-What am I doing here?!

-Oh, no, we got the best guy.

All right, that's good enough, you're saying all the right things!

Peter, I think we've talked about this enough.

I want to see you at speed.

Come on.

I don't know if speed's the right word, judging by these cycles!

But you want to see me have a go on something?

Yeah, is that a possibility, Paul?

Paul is a passionate advocate of two-wheeled,

clean-air road tripping, but also likes to have fun,

and, today, that's at Peter Shilton's expense.

This is quite special, Peter.

It's an American machine, wooden wheels, no brakes, because it's...

-No brakes?!

-No, no.

You've really sorted me out here, haven't you?

Well, this is going to be a test for you,

because it's a shaft drive bicycle, so the drive is constant.

That means absolutely nothing to me.

Well, in a moment or two, you'll fully understand!

This is Evel Knievel rides again here, look.

-It suits you, sir.

-Thank you very much.

There you go.

Like that.

Way-hey! That was all right.

I've got to try and turn now.

I tell you what, for its age this machine is absolutely incredible.

And for your age, you are.

Thank you very much, Paul, thank you.

It's good to have a novice riding a bike, as it should be!

And all credit to you.

Thank you very much, Paul, very nice to meet you.

Thank you, sir.

With some good, solid shopping

and a couple of lightly bruised cheeks behind them - ha! -

we've successfully made it through injury time with no

substitutions so far.

What was Peter like shopping though? Did he have an eye?

Well, yeah, for anything on the top shelf!

And I don't mean that the way it sounds!

But he's very tall.

It's still getting used to it, really, buying...

What to ignore, what people might not want.

-You know, to be honest, I have no concept of that.

-No.

I honestly do not know,

so I'm sort of, I'm listening to what Mark's saying.

I mean, he played the game, if you can say it.

It wasn't the beautiful game, but he played the game.

Let's hope someone's learned something today.

Time for an early bath.

Night, night!

The sun rises on the Peters'

last day of shopping before selling their wares in Runcorn tomorrow.

I was going to say, you do look a bit tired today.

I mean, I've got to say that.

-I was a bit tired.

-I'll look like you do tomorrow then, will I?

So far, Peter Shilton

and Paul Laidlaw have landed a pair of bargains,

spending just £55 on an Arts and Crafts mirror

and a Victorian wall clock.

Mr Shilton launches into day two with £345 still to spend.

There's no room in the back, is there?

Honey, I shrunk the car!

Schmeichel and Stacey, meanwhile,

got stuck in and spent £100 on four items.

No crossing your fingers, put it there.

The dragon desktop set, the Victorian chopping board,

the 1966 World Cup programme and the Samson Mordan propelling pencil.

Mr Schmeichel has £300 left to play with.

I walked straight past it.

You did.

But then in fairness,

-you've walked straight past most of it.

-Yeah, I know!

I actually played at Barrow.

-Did you?

-Yeah.

I played in the third round of the FA Cup for Leicester City at Barrow.

I remember it because it was such a tough match,

we won 2-1 but they had a centre forward - I'll never forget him,

he was a dentist, supposed to be really quite articulate,

well balanced - and I went for a ball that was running

out for a corner, and he was chasing it, and I couldn't get to it.

I just got me hand to it, and as I was laying on the floor,

he ran and stamped on me hand.

Eugh! Wow, tough game is football. Bit like antiques!

A new day and a new journey, leaving Warrington behind

and dribbling 12 miles southwest to intriguing Frodsham.

Bizarrely, in 2005 French footballer Djibril Cisse became

Lord Mayor of Frodsham - huh!

But as our shoppers arrive in town, it's worth noting,

prior to the first Norman invasion - around 1065 - the town was

valued at a bargain £8.

Hosting this second round shopping derby is

the Lady Heyes Craft Centre,

with its many antiques nooks and crannies.

This is our last chance now Peter. Let's go in positively.

And let's not panic.

-Is that silver?

-Because that's quite fun.

-Is it silver?

No, it's not, I think it's probably silver plate.

But I just like the way that this is quite elegantly formed with

this branch, and I like those strong feet on it.

It's a nice looking object, that.

-Heavy.

-It's quite substantial.

-That's the first thing that I do, I look at the price!

-25.

-Yeah.

-Which is not bad.

-The two stout men of Team Schmeichel

have made a solidly masculine choice here.

What's next?

Well, I did actually pass this earlier on.

It's a marble figure,

and it looks like a sort of Russian or Turkish warrior, but I think

we could probably get that for a really cheap price, because it

looks incongruous, it doesn't fit in with the other pieces we've got.

-How interesting.

-See I quite like this, it's quite nicely carved.

This, I can tell you, this marble is... That's probably from Italy.

I think so.

Probably from around Pisa, because near Pisa is the only

mountain in the world where they've got pure white marble.

Really?

Otherwise it looks like bathrooms, you know?

You have little streaks in it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Marbled. As it were.

Michelangelo used to get his marble from there.

It's quite a good subject,

because people like militarious objects, so if we got

that for a very cheeky price,

that would be a sure-fire winner for us.

Well, currently it's £75, but if any man can get a cheeky

price on a white marble figurine, then that man is Mark Stacey.

Time to speak to Rose - stand by. Rose?

What could you let us have that for?

What are you offering? £10.

-Make it 20, you can have it.

-You see, that's not good, is it?

I'll ask Jill. Jill?

-Yes?

-Jill, you've been called in here.

-Right.

Clutching something, I see. What are you clutching?

That's Victorian glass. A present from Runcorn.

-A present from Runcorn!

-Quite relevant for the auction...

For where we're going. "A present from Runcorn."

Well, I suppose if it's going to sell anywhere, it'll sell in Runcorn, won't it?

But we did quite like this.

-Yes.

-And the silver-plated meat platter.

-Right.

-But we've been very mean, I'm afraid.

-Right.

-You know.

Actually, YOU have, Mark.

Peter - well, he's still not enjoying these haggles much.

So we'd like to get that for ten and that for ten.

-Yes, go on.

-Go on.

-Are you sure?

-Yes.

-Are you happy with that, Peter?

I'm happy with that.

-Thank you.

-Thank you so much.

-Thank you very much.

Well done, Mark. You've even got that Runcorn jug thrown in for free.

Will there be any good stuff left for Frodsham's late arrivals?

Hello, Peter! Hello, Paul!

There.

Pine shelves, assorted brass and bric-a-brac.

Victorian brass candlesticks in brushed steel,

and there's one Georgian piece there.

Can you spot them?

Something like...

-These look a bit different, but not a lot...

-Don't they just?

-Well, they look a bit classier than these.

-They do look classier!

Because there are classical lines to those. Beautifully chosen.

How old are these?

I've no idea. Well...

200.

These are George III.

-200 years old?

-Yep.

-You're joking. No?

-Abso...

In amongst late Victorian and early 20th century,

we've got Georgian brass.

Would these be...

I mean, 200 years old - are these going to be really expensive, or...?

At auction...

Go on, tell me. Surprise me.

..you might buy them for a fiver.

-A fiver?

-I kid you not.

They are utterly undervalued.

-These don't fit the bill.

-So why are we looking at these?

-Because they're priced at

-£6. Mm.

In a catalogued auction,

described accurately as a pair of George III brass candlesticks...

-Yeah.

-..circa 1800,

I think if we are lucky,

they make ten, 15, 20, five, 30...

-Who knows?

-Who knows? Yeah, if you get a couple interested...

There might be a little profit in this.

True - marketing is key.

However, the auction is tomorrow - not much time to get the word about.

Let's hope Louise will let them have it for a song.

Now, I'm going to disappoint you, because we've been here

and we've got money to spend

and I'm hitting you with a pair of sad brass candlesticks

that no-one loves, and I'm going to add insult to injury by saying,

-"Well, they're priced at £6..."

-Oh, my God!

SHE CHUCKLES

What would you like to pay for them?

Let me explain my rationale. We're on the way out the...

We're absolutely beat. We're up against the clock.

Those guys are... chomping at our heels. Er...

(You cannae sell them.)

Gimme them for a couple of quid or something daft.

I'll half it. £3.

-It's a deal!

-OK.

-Thanks very much.

-You're welcome.

-Well done. Thank you very much.

-You're very welcome.

-Thank you very much.

-£3 I have.

-Do you want them wrapping, as well?

Now, that would just be taking the mickey!

-"£3 - would you wrap them?!"

-THEY CHUCKLE

A very good deal, although Shilton took a bit of a back seat.

What could get this former goalkeeper excited?

Is that the FIFA World Cup?

Mind you, I don't think it's original.

THE original!

I don't think so, somehow! No, no. It looks...

It looks a bit... A bit worn.

I'm surprised you recognised that World Cup -

you haven't actually qualified for quite a long time, have yous?!

Ooh! That was awkward! Although, let's face it,

England hasn't seen a trophy like this for a while either.

It's a Chianti bottle, is it?

Right, with a note on it.

-I presume it's...yeah, red wine.

-And it says...

"Actual item presented to Paul Gascoigne

"at the World Cup, after he cried on receiving a yellow card."

Yeah, I mean, I'm not quite so sure about that.

If that had Gas... Er, Gazza's autograph on it,

I'd then be saying, "Oh, my word - do I believe the autograph?

"And if I do, that's a great thing!"

Yeah.

But it's not signed.

-No.

-If only we knew someone that was in the England squad...

-Yeah.

-Italia '90...

Maybe...Lineker?

Hold on a minute - I was there, wasn't I?!

That, with your autograph on it...

-Yeah.

-..is a good thing.

They're asking £55 for that, which I think...

is probably optimistic.

I think it very optimistic, yeah.

Sounds like it's time to bring on that English rose.

We're just looking at this...

This...obviously, bottle of wine -

World Cup bottle of wine, Italia '90.

There's no way we'd be looking at £55.

But...I mean, we're talking five or ten pounds for a bottle of wine,

-you know, so...

-And it might be off.

And it might be off, and we don't know - is the wine still in there?

-Oh, yes, it's in there. Yes, yes.

-Yeah.

Well, we could settle on a tenner, I think, if that's any good.

-A tenner?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, I think we'll accept that. That'd be great, yeah.

Peter Shilton got his hand on that fine purchase

as those precious shopping moments draw to a close.

Did you always want to be a goalkeeper, Peter?

Er, I was always a goalkeeper, cos, er...

But is it something you wanted to do from a young age?

-It was just something that happened.

-Really?

The first time I ever played, I was put in goal, and then...

You know, I was... I was fairly good at it and I just stayed.

So I never... I never thought about it.

The road trip is moving us forward, yet back in time for Peter and Mark,

as they head 33 miles east by north-east

to the city of Manchester.

-I always wanted to make football my living.

-Yeah?

Always. It was always in the back of my head.

I always wanted to come to England.

-I always wanted to be playing for Manchester United.

-Really?

When I was a kid - small kid - that was my dream every night.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Manchester's achievements span through industry, politics,

music and popular culture but football remains at its heart -

a city where Peter Schmeichel is a bit of a hero.

He's bypassing Old Trafford to go back to football's roots.

'They think it's all over. Well, it is now.'

The brand-new museum of football is not quite finished,

but our returning hero gets the red-carpet treatment...

We should go through the turnstiles here.

..even as opening night preparations take place.

Sorry about the mess, lads!

Director Kevin Moore can meet a goalkeeping legend

and also, you know, our Mark!

As you can see, we're getting ready for our opening event,

but what you've come into is the Hall Of Fame,

which is dedicated to the greatest-ever players and managers in English football.

And Peter is one of those all-time greats.

-How do you feel about that?

-I feel very good about that.

If you'd like to come upstairs...

The exact origins of football go back centuries,

mentioned in medieval scripts and in Chaucer's Canterbury Tales.

But the modern game developed during the Industrial Revolution,

as men used their Saturday afternoons,

after the factories closed early, to have fun on the pitch.

The original rules were organic and shifting.

What we're looking at is the handwritten laws

of Association Football, written down for the first time in 1863.

-As early as that?

-Absolutely. It's the year that the FA is founded

and they have to come up with combined rules

that everyone agrees on.

But from this - a group of Victorian gentlemen in England -

they're creating a game which has spread around the world

to more than 200 countries.

These new rules established what seems obvious to modern football fans -

the duration of the game, the size of the pitch,

the number of players in each team and how the game is structured.

I like the handwriting.

It's beautiful, isn't it? Oh, it's very 19th century, this.

But in founding the FA,

the point was there needed to be one set of rules...

-Consistent.

-..that everyone could agree on.

Of course, some of the clubs and individuals couldn't agree,

and they broke away to set up rugby.

That is absolutely fantastic.

That's another thing that, er... That I'm interested in.

That's... You know, being a foreign player and a goalkeeper myself,

Bert Trautmann is something... Someone that I kind of, in my...

I think he broke his neck in an FA Cup final, didn't he?

-1956 FA Cup final.

-Yeah.

-Gosh!

But he was also, sort of, like the first foreign player to embrace

the English game, and I wonder if... I've seen he's in the Hall of Fame.

-I wonder if you got any artefacts from his time.

-Yes, we do.

We've got an amazing artefact connected from Bert Trautmann.

-and if you'd like to come through...

-Absolutely.

-..I'll show it to you.

-Please do, lead the way.

Bert Trautmann inadvertently helped begin a modern phenomenon

in the world of British football - the foreign player.

1956.

Bert Trautmann, he was... He was a German prisoner of war

and he chose to stay in England,

and he basically became the first foreign player.

-Really?

-Really high-profile foreign player.

And in this final, he broke his neck.

And he's 2mm from dying.

He didn't realise it, but they have pictures where he's like this,

and he played on, he carried on,

and he had to play with that... neck brace ever since.

Gosh! Amazing story!

And it gives a fantastic picture of what English football is all about.

Obviously people who are born in this country are sort of used to it,

but people like me, that comes from the outside,

this is what attracts us, is the history, the traditions

and also the incidents that are so well documented.

The free movement of players has come to characterise

the modern game of football, especially in Britain.

And there's something uniquely British and rather wonderful

hanging on the walls here, all about going to the match!

Oh, well, Laurence Stephen Lowry.

Probably one of the most... famous, important,

British artists of the 20th century.

A Manchester artist, of course,

and he painted lots of industrial scenes like this.

What stadium is that?

This is Burnden Park, Bolton Wanderers.

-Bolton, yeah. I've actually played in that stadium!

-Have you?

Yeah!

I could see that was Manchester, because, you know, it looks windy.

-Yes.

-People are sort of walking into the wind.

-What's the value of that painting?

It was bought by the Professional Footballers' Association

some years ago, for just under £2 million.

-£2 million?

-Yes.

Lowry had a fascination for ordinary people,

and was a kind of football fan.

Rarely has a sport generated such loyalty,

culture and community from its spectators.

Most people, well, men in Britain, have a team and probably watch

at least a match or two, but many live for Saturday afternoons.

So I know these are all fans' memorabilia,

and it ties in with something that Mark and me,

we bought yesterday, that we're going to put into auction,

and it is a official souvenir programme for the 1966 World Cup.

He's actually journaled everything.

Ah, so it's handwritten and annotated...

Handwritten, with all the results, all the goal-scorers.

-You can have a look through that and maybe...

-Fantastic.

I mean, maybe you'd be interested in putting a bid in for...

Tell you what, Peter Schmeichel might struggle with buying

but he's a dab hand at selling!

It's fantastic. This is what the museum's all about.

And also for sale in Runcorn tomorrow - hint, hint!

But for now, our football legend

and his trusty sidekick have had the time of their lives.

Just in time to check out the opposing team's new signings.

Very sadly, Peter Shilton and our Paul spent £5 - Ha!

On a pretty Carlton Ware vase,

which did not last its journey in the little red car.

-That's a shame, isn't it?

-We've rumbled it to death.

-That's a real shame.

Yeah, but let's take a look at all the wonderful things that didn't break, eh?

-Shall we go for it?

-Gingerly.

-We have to do this nice and slowly.

-Cos we've had a casualty already.

Wow!

Oh!

Wow!

-Gosh, what?

-Who is it signed by?

It's em...what's that say on there?

Oh, that's cheating!

Oh, I can't believe that!

Yeah, and if that's not bad enough, Peter and Paul got a sneaky

last minute purchase, buying two snuffboxes right under our...noses.

-I'm intrigued with this. Can I look at this?

-Yeah, do.

This handsome silver joby for £85

and this pretty little papier-mache fellow for 25.

Cute!

That really is rather... rather nice, continental.

I think it's lovely. My hunch, I might be wrong, would be Dutch.

-Yeah.

-Late 19th century, it's not 18th century.

Yeah, that's where we've gone.

He just picks it up and, "I think it's Dutch..."

Well, that's being an expert.

-That's being an expert.

-Which is something that we're not.

But you've given the whole world many years of other pleasure.

Well, that's reasonable enough, that's reasonable enough. We can't argue with that, well done.

Thank you very much.

Well done, can't argue with that. Are you ready for ours?

We're dying, do it.

-Oh.

-Oh. Well.

Well. We've all gone for candlesticks.

-Indeed.

-We've both gone for something football related.

This is... Peter will tell you because he found it.

What it is, it's an official souvenir

programme from the 1966 world cup,

that was the one that England won.

Remember? They won a trophy once.

Just about remember it, yeah. Just about remember it.

We're really quite pleased with ours, we've got a nice little cross section there,

but the nice thing is... Where are we selling?

I saw it, yep.

We're selling it at auction in Runcorn.

Absolutely horrible things

but appropriate I think for the sale we're going to.

I don't know if Paul would agree with me, but I think this one is too close to call.

PAUL LAUGHS

Well, I'm sure you'd all agree to each others' faces,

but what do you really think?

Well, it was OK, I wasn't blown away when they took the drape away.

I think they've got some good items.

My overriding impression is,

I'm well impressed at the prices they paid.

I think the World Cup thing might be quite fun because he signed it.

He signed it so, yeah... That makes a difference,

same thing with our programme.

I think, was it the Runcorn jug?

That might be a novel thing on the day but we'll have to wait and see.

This time tomorrow it's all over, man.

You know, it is very, very difficult to predict.

I've never been to an auction like this so I'm quite excited about it.

So am I. Let's get there!

Let's get to the auction!

There's no more we can do now, Paul. That's it.

No, we're now bystanders!

I'm really looking forward to today, it should be very exciting.

After a couple of days hard work.

And it has been quite hard work.

Hard work? Hardly 90 minutes of footie, is it?

But as an exciting journey nears its end,

Manchester shrinks steadily in the review mirror as this road trip

heads for the final destination,

29 miles west sits the town of Runcorn.

Former spa town and meeting point of the meandering River Mersey

and the mighty Manchester Ship Canal,

four Runcorn chemical companies coalesced in 1926

to form Imperial Chemical Industries.

That's ICI to you and I.

Good morning.

How are you? >

Morning Peter. How you feeling?

I'm feeling great, excited.

I've got absolutely no expectations.

It's got to be down a little bit to luck, hasn't it?

Always is, auction's a lottery.

So when we get to... Will they know which items are ours?

Not necessarily, it depends how much fuss we make.

ALL LAUGH

Good luck.

Good luck. Let the best man win.

Good luck everyone.

Today's sale at the Runcorn Auction Centre

will be presided over by local legend Michael C Bain

and he's taken a cursory glance at our Peters' purchases.

I think the propelling pen, which is by Mordan Sampson

is a good purchase, they always do well here.

Price? I don't know - £20 to £40.

Mirrors tend not to do well at this auction house,

I think that's a little bit risky, we'll be struggling to get a profit on that one.

Italia '90 - it's a nice souvenir,

the condition is letting it down a little bit

and the bonus is of course, it's got Peter Shilton's signature on it.

The item I have least confidence in

has got to be the Victorian cream jug.

If you ask me who's going to be the winner, I'd go for England.

Both teams started with £400 each.

Peter Schmeichel and Mark Stacey spent £120 on six auction lots,

whilst Messrs Shilton and Laidlaw spent a bold £183 on six lots.

Thank you.

An Englishman, a Welshman, a Scotsman

and a Great Dane walk into an auction house.

You can make up your own punch line later

because the sale is about to begin.

Messrs Schmeichel and Stacey's propelling pencil

writes the first chapter of this auction saga.

Actually, there are various commission bids.

I've got 13, 15, 18.

18 I've got, 20 comes next.

22, 25.

28, 30, 35.

35, 35 new bidder.

40, 40 I've got. 42 comes next. We hold on at £40.

Selling at the back of the room at £40, all done at 40.

Rather meagre beginnings,

frankly auction costs will swallow that slim margin, I fear.

It was a small profit. Very small.

Yep. It was small, but a profit nevertheless.

Mr Shilton's painted mirror is up next.

£20 anywhere, £20 who wants it?

20 I've got, 20 I've got, 22 is next.

Main bid at 20, all done at £20? Selling at 20, all done at 20...

Oh, dear. It's a very slow start.

These players need the crowd behind them!

You took a punt, you came out of it clean - yeah, fair enough.

It's probably...probably the least out of our lots

that I was confident about, to be fair.

Time for a classic set-play -

with the Team Schmeichel freebie glass jug.

Somebody's seen it because I've got a bid here of £10.

Oh, my, in at 10. Come on.

12 up there. 15 still with me.

18 up there, on the gallery, at £18.

Come on, a bit more.

18 in the gallery. 20 is next. £18.

20 in the room. 22.

It's getting a bit of interest online - not bad, boys!

-25 in the room. 28 in the gallery.

-One more.

We're going to go 30. Look nice today and all done at £28.

£28, all done...

A healthy, if not enormous profit. At last!

And now Team Shilton's candlesticks

wait to light up the saleroom -

a snip at just £3.

£50 anywhere?

Well, 20 then, for George III brass candlesticks.

20 I've got in the room. 20 I've got.

-Oh, my God!

-25 in the room. 28 next.

-25, the bid is over there.

-Come on!

28 now. 30? 30 in the room.

30 in the room. This bid is in the room at 30.

You are a genius!

All done at 30, the hammer goes down.

Another great result - Peter and Paul are back in this game!

£30!

Aye, it's no over yet!

And it won't be for a while.

Pray silence for Schmeichel and Stacey's '66 Championship programme.

£20. I can start at 20 here, anyway.

20 I've got. 20 I've got. 22 is next.

20 I've got. 22 is next. 20 I've got.

-Oh, come on, a bit more.

-Yeah.

25 still with me. 28?

28? 28 on the phone, then. 28 on the phone.

Still 30 with me. 32 on the phone?

32 on the phone.

32, that takes this out. 32 on the phone.

35 anywhere else? 32 on the phone.

Well, we've doubled our money, Peter.

Anybody else want it? 32 on the phone.

35 on the net. 38 on the phone.

A flurry of interest on the phones and internet.

Who can these mystery bidders be?!

42 on the phone. The bid is on the phone.

On the phone at £42. We all done, then?

Selling to the phone at £42, all done at 42.

Excellent result,

putting our Danish/Welsh partnership in the lead.

And I happen to know the successful phone bidder was none other than...

Manchester's all-new Museum of Football.

-How nice is that?!

-That's not bad, is it?

So, any sniff of a profit for Peter and Paul?

Their first papier-mache snuffbox awaits a discerning nostril.

I can start this out at 20 with me.

20 I've got. 22 comes next. 25 now.

Still with me at 28. 28 with me.

The bid is still with me at £28. 30 now on the net.

-30 on the internet.

-On the net at 30. 32 to my right.

32 in the room.

-The bid is to my right at £32.

-Nice. Cheap. Good box.

This is cheap. Are we all done at 32? Selling at 32, then.

Not too bad for the home team.

-It's a profit.

-What did you pay for it?

-25.

-25?

Now Peter Schmeichel's favourite lot - the hunky chopping board,

partnered with the manly, meat dish.

Cor!

Right, what should we say for this, then? £40 somewhere? £40 anywhere?

-£40, who wants it? £40 anywhere?

-No-one wants it.

Come on, now. Well, I'll take 20 to start us off. It's worth that.

£20 somewhere? £20.

20 bid. 20 I've got. 22 is next.

At 25. 28 in the gallery.

£30 at the back of the room. 30 I've got.

32? No. 30...£30 still.

All done at 30?

Selling at 30, last chance.

Fantastic auction save! £10 safely in Schmeichel's hands!

I'm disappointed with that.

And the trophy goes to... Well, let's wait and see.

Team Shilton's Italia '90 wine bottle enters the box.

50 quid?

I'm...I'm...I'm very sceptical about it - don't know.

It's modelled as the, eh, the World Cup trophy,

and it's also been signed by somebody really famous.

ALL LAUGH

And not only that,

Peter Shilton's got his signature on it as well.

Let's hope Peter can get his hands on a winning profit this time.

Right, what shall we say for this, then? £30 to start me?

-It's got to be worth 30.

-More than that.

Tell you what, I'll bid 30. £30 here. 30 I've got. 32 comes next.

-They're off and running.

-35 in the front. 38. 38. 40.

40. 42. 45.

45. 48. 48. 50.

50, I'll put the rest towards it for you.

Going 55, sir? 60?

Go on, 60. Go 60. I'll help you out.

60. I'm not going more than this, but if you go 60, I'll help you.

He'll have to wait a few years before he can drink it!

65? 65.

65, the bid is in green. I've done the best I can for you.

The bid is in green at the back, £65.

All done at 65. Nothing on the net.

Nice work, Peter Shilton. Your final stab at wheeler-dealing

really paid off!

-That's the power of your name, my man!

-Well done. Well done.

Time for Schmeichel

and Stacey to go on the attack with their marble soldier figurine.

Can they catch Team Shilton on the break?

If there's a £100 internet bid from Denmark,

-there's a steward's inquiry!

-Would be suspicious, wouldn't it?

Well, I've got 20 here. £20 with me.

20 I've got. 22 is next.

Come on, somebody bid!

Still with me at £25. 28 on the gallery.

£28 on the gallery. £28.

All done at £28, then. All done at £28.

-Come on!

-Selling at £28 now. All done at 28.

Nice, steady profits for Peter and Mark.

Can Shilton and Laidlaw counterattack

with their next snuffbox? This time in silver...possibly.

Snuffbox.

Right, 30 I've got, 30 I've got.

-It's a long way to go.

-32. 35. 38. 40. 42.

Still with me at 42. 45. 45.

And still with me at 48. 50.

48, the bid still with me. New bidder at 50. £50 over there.

50 I've got. 55. Commissions are now out. £50.

Oh, no, no, no!

60? £60. 65.

70. 65 there. Do you want to go 68, sir?

All done at 65, then.

Selling at 65. All done at 65, and I sell.

Bad luck!

I'm surprised at that!

And that leaves the field fairly open for Peter and Mark,

with their ornate inkwell and candelabra,

looking for a local desk to rest on.

Start at 20. And 22 is next. 22. 25.

28. 28 in the room.

28 I've got over there. 30 comes next.

We all done at £28, then? Nothing on the net.

£28. Selling at 28. All done.

Oh, no!

Weeping won't help, Mark - just ask Gazza!

Is this a chance for Peter and Paul to nick it?

Whoa, whoa - that's the clock, the clock!

Their Victorian wall clock could be saying "profit o'clock"

if Michael's predictions are correct.

Well, I've got 40 with me. 40 I've got.

40 I've got. 45 here. 45 still with me.

45 still with me. At 45.

48 on the net. 50 still here. 50.

55 on the net.

Bid is on the net at £55.

Bid is on the net at 55. 55.

65 now on the net.

Looks like we're heading for extra time.

70 in the room. 70 in the room. 70 I've got.

75 on the net.

Do you want to go one more, sir? 80. 80 in the room. 80 in the room.

80 in the room. 85 on the net. 90.

Do you want to go 90, sir?

90 in the room. £90. Gentleman says yes.

-95 on the net.

-Yes, £100 in the room.

-100 in the room. 100 in the room.

-110 on the net.

-110 on the net.

I think we might have narrowly avoided a penalty shoot-out!

110, the bid is on the net. 110. Are we all done at 110?

Selling at 110.

A great profit for Team Shilton!

To our victor, the spoils, and as for, eh, non-victor...

-It's disappointing.

-It's very disappointing.

-I thought we had really good stuff.

-You did all right.

Stuff that people could use.

I believe we have a winner!

Oh, and it's over now!

It's over now, definitely!

You think it's all over, Paul, and, well, it is.

Our celebrities began with £400 each.

Peter Schmeichel and Mark Stacey bought wisely and well,

making a thoroughly respectable profit of £40.72.

The Great Dane and his trusty Welshman end this road trip

with £440.72.

Messrs Shilton and Laidlaw, however,

made a wee bit more - £81.04.

So, Peter and Paul finish triumphant,

with £481 and four British pennies.

All of the funds generated here go to Children In Need.

So well done, Peter, and well done, Peter.

-So well done.

-Nice to meet you, Mark, as well.

-Well done, Peter.

-Well done.

-Great to be with you.

Yes, likewise.

-And unfortunately, the best men didn't win on the day.

-No, I know.

PAUL: Well done!

I think the worst thing is that when you actually buy something

and then you realise you've actually lost a load of money on it.

The nice when you're working with somebody else, like the celebrities,

you can always blame them!