Episode 9 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip


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Episode 9

Silent Witness stars Emilia Fox and Tom Ward are joined by experts James Braxton and Charlie Ross as they search for bargain antiques around Glasgow and the village of Kilbarchan.


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Some of the nation's favourite celebrities.

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What if we were to say 150 for the two? Then you've got yourself a deal.

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-One antiques expert each.

-Rock it, Tom!

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Da, da, da, da, da, da, da!

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And one big challenge -

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who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices?

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I knew it wouldn't be easy!

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And auction for a big profit further down the road?

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Potential for disaster.

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Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice?

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What you've just come out with there, I cannot believe that!

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And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

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Time to put your pedal to the metal,

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this is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

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Yeah!

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Getting to the bottom of things on this big antiques case,

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we have two of the sexiest lab geeks going.

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Co-stars in one of Britain's best crime dramas, Silent Witness,

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it's Emilia Fox and Tom Ward.

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My plan is to push you out of the way.

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I have no idea what makes... I wouldn't know an antique

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if it leapt up and slapped me in the face.

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Well, it's definitely not going to do that.

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It might do. It might be one of those novelty jack-in-the-boxes.

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MUSIC :"Isn't She Lovely" by Stevie Wonder

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Hailing from a dynasty of thespians, Emilia is an award-winning actress

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best known for her role as Dr Nikki Alexander in Silent Witness.

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Nothing gets past this smart cookie.

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Hey!

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From English rose, meek and mild,

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to scary sorceress, incredibly wild.

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Emilia has been dazzling audiences

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with striking performances and stunning looks for years.

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Just how does she do it?

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Oh, that's my little secret!

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It panics me that you're going to be looking on the bottom of jugs,

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and going, "Oh, yes, that's...Diddlee-Diddleywood",

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whereas I will literally find something that I like,

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which will be worthless.

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It's clever of you to remember that I like looking at jugs, but...

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The task of out-foxing Emilia goes to a man

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who does tall, dark and handsome very well.

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Tom Ward has cut a dash in more period pieces

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than you can shake a costume at.

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You're absolutely right.

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With a nose for trouble and an eye for detail,

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Tom has played Dr Harry Cunningham, a forensic pathologist,

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in crime drama Silent Witness for the last ten years

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opposite our Emilia.

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You've got blood on your hair.

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Emilia and Tom might know each other inside out,

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but in this challenge, there can be only one hero.

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Let battle commence!

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I will try and be very, very clever

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about some sort of naval, lunar, map-reading instrument!

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And I'll pay 200 quid for it and it will turn out to have been

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mass made in Hull by a bloke called Fred.

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And they're racing to the scene of the challenge

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in a rather cool 1981 Mercedes SL.

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If you're an antique expert, does that mean you're very, very old?

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It's not an expert who is themselves an antique, if that's what you mean.

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-Exactly.

-And from one classy pair to another.

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Trundling along in this charismatic Citroen 2CV - ha! -

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we've got two of the finest antiques experts who were available.

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It's Charlie Ross and James Braxton.

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I don't think I'm in first!

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GEARS CRUNCH Ooh, I am now, that's better!

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Oh, this is the cutting edge, Bingo!

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Charlie is an auctioneer and antiques expert of worldwide repute.

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He even once raised 33 million in one day at a motor auction in LA.

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-So, 50 plus 30...

-Yes.

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..equals 70, yeah?

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He's good with numbers, our Charlie, and oh so suave.

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I see you've got your best beige on.

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I'm in understated beige.

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This man's parents persisted in taking him around stately homes

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as a child to gawk at antiques, and now look at him.

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Now you can see, I'm obviously a jazz musician

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by the way I'm approaching this.

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With 25 years in the antiques business, he knows a good thing

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when he sees it, our James,

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or, as Charlie likes to call him, "Bingo".

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Oh, Bingo, you've put on the old three piece suit today, haven't you?

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-I have.

-Just especially. Do you think Emilia's going

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-to be turned on by your three piece wear?

-I don't know, it's a risk.

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She might like the charming, debonair thing,

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the tanned... This is a man resting from his yacht.

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This Celebrity Antiques Road Trip kicks off in the historic city

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of Glasgow, covering the city from east to west

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before scampering towards home turf 450 miles south

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for an auction showdown in Billingshurst, West Sussex.

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With its hustle and bustle

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and a history as rich in culture as it is in crime - ha! -

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Glasgow is the perfect playground for this plucky pair.

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You are so competitive about everything.

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I am not! You are quietly very competitive.

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You're slightly like the Terminator.

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I think a bit of your face is going to fall off.

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Well, if a bit of my face falls off, then auction it.

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Well, I want to win.

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Emilia and Tom have £400 each,

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two days to forensically forage for antiques

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and one crucial auction to see who can turn the biggest profit.

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Let battle commence.

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What are you doing? You're not putting a jacket on?

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Best tucker on, best tucker! Best tucker.

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You old tart! See you later!

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-A-ha! Tom?

-Hello, Tom, yes.

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-Charlie.

-Hello, Charlie.

-Emilia.

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Emilia. Oh! Emilia! We were actually going to have a boxing fight.

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We were going to have a fight.

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-Over you, Tom.

-I knew that was going to happen! Didn't I say that?

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-As senior member, I have made a decision here.

-Have you?

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If Emilia can put up with you, and it'll be hard, Emilia,

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I'm going to join you two for the next two days.

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-That's really nice of you.

-Fantastic.

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Happy with that? Bingo knows everything about nothing.

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Well, I know everything about everything, Charlie, so come and...

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-Go on, Emilia.

-Treat him gently!

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Both teams are kicking off their antiques buying here,

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at Glasgow Antiques and Collectibles Market

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housed in the world famous Barras market.

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The Barrowlands, affectionately dubbed the Barras,

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sprang into being in the early 1920s.

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Today, it houses in excess of 300 traders

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and has become an intrinsic part of Glasgow life.

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Tom, why don't you have a good look round on your own?

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-All right.

-So that we're not influencing one another.

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-And if you see something...

-I'll summon you.

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-Yeah.

-Do you like that, or does it leave you cold?

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-Personally, it leaves me cold.

-Right.

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-But how much is it?

-Coffee tables. He's wanting £300 for it.

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-Forget it.

-So keep looking, we need that rare treat.

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-Call me if you need any help.

-Will do, will do.

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Any expert help.

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It's very, very hard.

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I don't know, I feel slightly kind of lost.

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Oh look at that, what's that little brooch thing... No.

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I slightly feel like I'm sort of taking stuff back

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to the headmaster and getting approval or not.

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-Tom?

-You talking to me?

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Large lumps of furniture I know absolutely nothing about.

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No. I think large lumps of big furniture, not good news.

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-Interesting post-box?

-I suspect that is...

-Fake.

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Great fun, but it's fake. Well spotted.

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Rather like us, great fun but fake.

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You speak for yourself!

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After that fake start, the boys have tuned into something rather natty.

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RADIO STATIC

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Dealer Ros is keen to help.

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It's walnut, it's English.

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If it didn't have the radio in it,

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it would be unsaleable as a piece of furniture.

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But of course, old radios have become hugely collectable.

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Is Radio Luxembourg marked on there?

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I don't think it is, actually. We've got Kalund, Oslo, Reykjavik...

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Come on Tom, fire it up. Yeah.

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INDISTINCT ROCK'N'ROLL MUSIC

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Rock it, Tom!

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OK, sorry, that's enough.

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-I think we've all seen enough of that, don't you?

-I do!

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There was a bit of interference, but is that where it is, or...?

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-It's because it's in here.

-Right.

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I've had it outside and it's a brilliant sound.

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Never known a saleswoman like her.

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-I know, she's got it all covered, hasn't she?

-Absolutely fantastic.

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-You'll be telling me you made the damn thing next!

-No, no, no,

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-I'm not as old as Marconi yet!

-Oh no!

-It's my birthday today.

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-It's your birthday today?

-It's your birthday?

-Today.

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-Goodness me, happy birthday.

-Thank you.

-Happy birthday.

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You'll be feeling very generous.

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-Yes.

-Your birthday present to us

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could be to give us the Marconi radio.

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-How much is it, darling?

-How would 90 suit you?

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-Ooh.

-90, that sounds...

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And I'll throw in the dog.

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I would almost rather you didn't throw in the dog.

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-Don't foist that dog off!

-But if the dog was thrown in,

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-somebody might bid 10 or 20 quid for a laugh.

-Absolutely.

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He's working his magic, isn't he?

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-Could we reserve it? OK.

-Worthless.

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Have you spent any money yet, Emilia?

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I might, I might not!

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-Ooh, cagey.

-I told you, didn't I? I told you she'd be competitive.

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So you're going for furnishings, are you?

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I'm not going to tell you what we're going for!

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You're going to start getting all, you know...

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The battle to be top dog has well and truly begun.

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Don't panic about the opposition.

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-Focus on the goods, not our competitors.

-Really?

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-Yeah, because it distracts you.

-But that's half the fun of it!

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-It distracts you.

-I love this painting here.

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So what do you like about that?

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Well, that's something that I would have in my house.

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Well, it's an acid test, isn't it?

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Oh, no! Oh, my God!

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Sorry! So 1912. The frame looks totally contemporary.

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It's on canvas, it's cracking a bit there.

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Would you have that in your house?

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Well, not any more because I've just seen what would happen.

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-The picture would fall out of it!

-No, we can secure it,

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don't worry about that. But it's all fine.

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Just very nicely complex build it up, isn't it?

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Held together with sticking plaster.

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£80 is too much, but this is where you come in, Emilia.

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This is where you flutter your eyelids and all that sort of thing.

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I don't think that that's going to work.

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-Of course it is! Of course it is!

-You have so much faith in me.

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A devilish plan there, James, but it might just work.

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Meanwhile, Charlie has come over all glassy-eyed.

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Very saleable objects, little perfume bottles.

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Right, little knick-knacks.

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-Ink wells, there's a little tidy there.

-OK.

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That's got a hallmark and the lion passant means it's silver.

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OK.

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Good thing about that is that it has a cut-glass base,

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which you have to check very carefully, to make sure

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it's not chipped or damaged which it doesn't appear to be.

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-That's an impressive...

-Chunky.

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-Very heavy cut-glass.

-Nice to have in hand.

-That's an inkwell.

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That's an inkwell, is it?

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Wouldn't that look wonderful if you put blue ink in there?

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Dealer Vincenzo is on hand to help.

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Vincenzo, are you a man that can be insulted

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or you wouldn't be insulted by an offer?

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From you, I would never be insulted, I can always say no.

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We're not very keen on the elephants but we quite like all the jars,

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but I was wondering as a sort of job lot for the lot,

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I would like to pay £100.

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No, £100 is no. No, I can't do it.

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Ten, I'm doing my best.

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Yes, try your best.

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A hundred... ten.

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Give me 120 and I'll give it as a job lot.

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Tom, I think it's a good thing to do and I think we'll stand

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a good chance of making some reasonable profit. 120?

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-120.

-It's a deal. Thanks very much.

-Thank you.

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The first deal of the day.

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£120 for the job lot of cut-glass jars.

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Smashing!

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James and Emilia have spotted something rather unusual.

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-Look at these great carpet bags!

-I know! Aren't they gorgeous?

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-Aren't they gorgeous?

-Wouldn't someone want that?

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A set of Bedouin carpet bags.

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Bedouin, of course, meaning people of the desert.

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Traditionally, these would have been used to carry and store

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a tribe's worldly possessions.

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Feel the way underneath, it's just a block of foam.

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But you could still have that in your house as something to sit on.

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You could, couldn't you? They are fun, aren't they?

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Aren't they? I'd buy these from auction.

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And you know, either side of a sofa or whatever they really are lovely.

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Well, let's see how much we can get them for.

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We'll have to ask about those ones.

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Genuine Bedouin, that's the spirit, Emilia.

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How much are these things here? Cos I really love them.

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£100, 120.

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100 and 120?

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Aye.

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-That's expensive.

-You could use it.

-Yeah.

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It's a mighty big old carpet bag but I think it's quite expensive.

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It's very expensive, are we going to look in other rooms first?

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-I can give it you for £125.

-For the pair?

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-For the pair.

-For the pair.

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And I'll say more, cos I'll give you the cushion as a present.

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Oh, my God, Vincenzo.

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Thank you.

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I think it's the furnishings of a Bedouin tent in one lot, isn't it?

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Really, really love these.

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If you like them, somebody else will like them.

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If I like them then I'll then be buying them in the auction as well.

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-No, you're precluded.

-Oh, right.

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But I don't do delivery, eh?

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No, no delivery needed. Anyway, we're going for it.

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-Thank you.

-Thank you so much!

-So you got a deal.

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Thank you very much.

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I need you to change it to two tens. I haven't got a ten.

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I've only got twenties and fives, so I'll need to change it to two.

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-I haven't got a ten.

-So buy something else.

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I knew it wouldn't be easy.

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I know what, what if we put another £20 in

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and we got the picture as well?

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OK, let's deal. I do it just for you and never again.

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-Just for you.

-Just for her.

-Vincenzo!

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-I need another hug now.

-Wow!

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Now, you'll carry change from now on, won't you? Go on!

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Thank you, thank you, James.

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So after that hug fest, Emilia and James managed to buy

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the oil painting and the Bedouin carpet bags

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with complimentary cushions, for the bargain price of £160.

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Happy?

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-Now, what about the radio?

-I love it.

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I'm going to hide, but I think it's got to be, Tom,

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between you and me, Tom, somewhere around the nifty fifty,

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-if we were going to buy and I'd be right behind you.

-OK.

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Tom's hoping that Ros will be on his wave length here. Ha!

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-I want to talk to you about general matters.

-Yes, OK.

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And we may accidentally find ourselves quite near this radio.

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I think it's really fun, this radio. It's kind of quite niche.

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I'm under instructions to make you a risible offer of 50 pounds.

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If you stretch it to 60...?

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55?

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-OK, you've got a deal.

-55? With the dog?

-You can have the dog.

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Oh, bless you!

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-OK?

-Thank you so much!

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Well, they both got what they wanted.

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Tom his radio, and Ros her birthday kiss.

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And the dog, well, he's just a bonus.

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I think we should look out for some female shopkeepers.

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I think he stands a really good chance with buying off the ladies.

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Whereas I've gone past that stage, I think.

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Vincenzo has heard that Tom bought the radio

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and wants to be in on the action.

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I just heard that you bought the radio. Can I buy it from you?

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-Buy the radio?

-Yes, I'll offer you 75 pounds.

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-Sounds good.

-What did it cost?

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-55.

-That's 20 pounds' profit.

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Before we've even moved five foot from it.

0:16:120:16:15

You're a natural dealer! I don't know what you're doing acting.

0:16:150:16:19

May I suggest that we simply say yes, you can have the radio,

0:16:210:16:26

but take 75 pounds off the silver.

0:16:260:16:28

Simple as that. You happy with that?

0:16:280:16:29

Yeah, happy with that.

0:16:290:16:31

So instead of £120, we get the silver for £45 and he gets the radio.

0:16:310:16:36

-But I don't want the dogs.

-You don't want the dog?

0:16:360:16:38

He doesn't want the dog.

0:16:380:16:40

-We've got a free dog.

-A free dog.

0:16:400:16:41

Yes you get the woofer for free, but Charlie, your maths!

0:16:410:16:45

This new deal means you've paid £100 for the glass jars,

0:16:450:16:47

just to let you know, mate.

0:16:470:16:49

While you've been away, I've added up the individual prices on those bits of silver.

0:16:490:16:52

Do you think we're going to do all right?

0:16:520:16:55

-Well, they come to £350, so that's two...

-Really?

-Yeah.

0:16:550:16:58

You really are an old shark, aren't you?

0:16:580:17:01

Glasgow's west end is home

0:17:010:17:03

to the famous Kelvingrove Art Gallery

0:17:030:17:06

and the city's historic university.

0:17:060:17:08

It also holds a few antique shops bursting with treasures and curios,

0:17:080:17:12

and that's where Emilia and James are headed next.

0:17:120:17:15

Did you act at school?

0:17:170:17:19

I did a little bit of acting at school.

0:17:190:17:21

I'd been a disastrous waitress and failed in every establishment.

0:17:210:17:25

And the director of the BBC's Pride and Prejudice

0:17:250:17:28

-was looking for someone that could play the piano.

-Yeah.

0:17:280:17:31

And he remembered that I could play the piano.

0:17:310:17:34

Well, I think, totally, what a lovely thing

0:17:340:17:36

in the spirit of Jane Austen,

0:17:360:17:39

that you should get your part because of an accomplishment.

0:17:390:17:43

She would be very pleased with that, wouldn't she?

0:17:430:17:46

So we've done quite well.

0:17:460:17:47

I think we've got the budget for silver.

0:17:470:17:49

I think we should buy something silver.

0:17:490:17:51

-So are we talking jewellery, or are we talking...?

-Well, let's see.

0:17:510:17:55

This hidden gem is called Relics.

0:17:550:17:57

Wow! Now this is my sort of shop.

0:17:570:18:01

-I mean, I think this is just going to be fun things, isn't it?

-Yeah.

0:18:030:18:07

What about this...?

0:18:110:18:12

Footy.

0:18:120:18:14

I think that might appeal to someone.

0:18:140:18:16

And assisting them with their enquiries

0:18:160:18:19

is proprietor Steven Currie.

0:18:190:18:21

-So is it a complete set?

-Pretty much.

0:18:210:18:23

It's about 40 years old and it's in pretty good order.

0:18:230:18:26

How do you like my find?

0:18:260:18:28

-I like your find.

-Do you? Really?

0:18:280:18:30

-I do. I think it's got a lot going for it.

-Really?

0:18:300:18:33

You're not just agreeing with her, are you, James, just to be sweet?

0:18:330:18:37

-Can I ask you about a few things?

-Yes.

0:18:370:18:39

This one, and also, I really love

0:18:390:18:43

the ABC television bus and London Transport.

0:18:430:18:47

I love those.

0:18:470:18:48

That's a great one, isn't it? Has it got all four wheels?

0:18:480:18:52

Well, let's start with basics.

0:18:520:18:54

Yep.

0:18:540:18:56

It's not exactly mint and boxed, is it?

0:18:560:18:59

But it's a Dinky Supertoy.

0:18:590:19:01

It's not bad for its age, I would say. Pretty clean,

0:19:010:19:03

-the transfers are clean, the paint's not bad.

-It's not bad, is it?

0:19:030:19:06

-How old is it?

-Probably late '50s, I would think.

-Yes.

0:19:060:19:09

-I mean, what would be great is to have a little collection, I think, of fun things.

-Fun things.

0:19:090:19:13

It's quite expensive.

0:19:130:19:15

-I'll let you negotiate with Steven.

-We might have to ask you to help.

-He looks like a ladies' man.

0:19:150:19:19

-The Subbuteo can be 20, with 25 on the ABC.

-Yep.

0:19:190:19:23

48 would be the best on the Triang Minic bus.

0:19:230:19:26

I'd like to buy the whole lot for 50.

0:19:260:19:29

That's what my dream price would be.

0:19:290:19:32

I'd buy the whole lot for 50!

0:19:330:19:36

Sorry, I really can't do it.

0:19:360:19:38

You're meant to be saying,

0:19:380:19:40

"Yes, of course - 50. For you, I'll do it for 40"!

0:19:400:19:44

Your charms don't seem to be working with our Steven -

0:19:440:19:47

quick, give him a hug!

0:19:470:19:49

So those two together would be...

0:19:490:19:51

-45.

-45. Steven, please may I buy both these for £40?

0:19:510:19:56

-42.

-42?

0:19:560:19:58

-Yes.

-42.

0:19:580:20:00

-We'll do a deal.

-Thank you.

0:20:000:20:01

Well, you've got to give her her points for trying!

0:20:010:20:05

I just hope that the Subbuteo set

0:20:050:20:06

doesn't end up being a bit of an own goal.

0:20:060:20:09

Let me put up this very attractive umbrella.

0:20:090:20:11

Well, I like...you keep it for yourself. I've got my...

0:20:110:20:14

-No, no.

-Because I've got my hat.

0:20:140:20:15

-Are you saying you don't want to come under my umbrella?

-No, I'd love to.

0:20:150:20:18

THEY LAUGH

0:20:180:20:21

Did you enjoy your first buying experience?

0:20:230:20:25

Well, it was fascinating watching you at work.

0:20:250:20:29

The proof of the pudding, though, Tom, is in the eating. I know.

0:20:290:20:32

-Well, I shall shatter that dog over your head if it's not...

-CHARLIE LAUGHS

0:20:320:20:36

My wife will tell you that I am terrible at haggling,

0:20:360:20:39

-pathetic English politeness, you know?

-No, no.

0:20:390:20:42

I've learnt to over the years.

0:20:420:20:44

I think if I was actually a dealer for a living,

0:20:440:20:46

I'd have gone bankrupt years ago.

0:20:460:20:48

What do you think of it so far?!

0:20:480:20:51

Just in case Tom does pick up any mercenary habits along the way,

0:20:530:20:56

Charlie is bringing him somewhere

0:20:560:20:58

which should help keep him on the straight and narrow.

0:20:580:21:01

As the first city in the UK to have its own police force,

0:21:010:21:05

Glasgow prides itself on its long law and order history.

0:21:050:21:10

Right, best behaviour, I think, here.

0:21:100:21:12

Today, Tom and Charles have come to meet a retired police officer,

0:21:120:21:16

Alastair Dinsmor, a volunteer here at the Police Museum.

0:21:160:21:21

-Hi. Tom Wa...

-I'm Alastair Dinsmor.

0:21:210:21:22

Tom Ward. How'd you do?

0:21:220:21:23

-Tom Ward? And..?

-Charlie Ross.

0:21:230:21:25

Charlie Ross. Would you like to come in?

0:21:250:21:27

-Love to!

-Thank you very much.

0:21:270:21:28

Alongside preserving the museum's vast collection,

0:21:280:21:32

Alastair has been avidly amassing artefacts

0:21:320:21:34

from forces worldwide since the 1960s.

0:21:340:21:39

We had policing from 1779,

0:21:390:21:41

-29 years before Robert Peel's police in London.

-Ah!

0:21:410:21:43

Because the American Revolution robbed Glasgow of its tobacco trade.

0:21:430:21:49

So why do we hear about Robert Peel all the time?

0:21:490:21:51

-Well, they've just got a good publicity department...

-Right.

0:21:510:21:54

-down in the Met, and...

-And a good nickname - the Peelers.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:21:540:21:58

The reason Glasgow formed the first police force

0:21:580:22:01

was to tackle the city's increasing crime rate.

0:22:010:22:04

Unemployment in the city had risen sharply when Glasgow's

0:22:040:22:07

tobacco merchants lost control of the export

0:22:070:22:11

and redistribution of the amber leaf,

0:22:110:22:14

following America's Declaration of Independence in 1776.

0:22:140:22:18

The city's magistrates,

0:22:200:22:22

who had historically dealt with crime, were overwhelmed,

0:22:220:22:25

and so in 1779, Glasgow formed the first police force in the UK.

0:22:250:22:31

Early criminals that were caught by that initial police force

0:22:310:22:35

-were condemned to death?

-Well, some of them.

-Yeah.

0:22:350:22:37

There was about 40 crimes that you could be hung for.

0:22:370:22:40

We have an extract from a newspaper of 1824,

0:22:400:22:43

and it was two 18-year-olds being hung at Glasgow Cross

0:22:430:22:46

for persistent housebreaking,

0:22:460:22:48

and it was only later that the list was reduced greatly...

0:22:480:22:51

-Yeah.

-..and... through the government.

0:22:510:22:54

Since retiring, Alastair has been devoting his time

0:22:540:22:57

to maintaining the museum's vast collection.

0:22:570:23:00

There are over 2,000 artefacts here, each one with its own story.

0:23:000:23:05

Whilst Tom might have played a few heroes,

0:23:070:23:10

Alastair has something earned by a real life one.

0:23:100:23:13

-This is Britain's first police bravery medal.

-Right.

0:23:130:23:16

-It's a substantial item, isn't it?!

-Gold medal, isn't it?

0:23:160:23:19

It's silver, it's beautifully made.

0:23:190:23:22

I love that sort of two truncheons rampant!

0:23:220:23:25

Constable John Kerr was checking property

0:23:250:23:27

in the Trongate in Glasgow here, and he went down Old Wynd,

0:23:270:23:31

and this was on the 23rd of November, 1871,

0:23:310:23:34

about quarter to five in the morning.

0:23:340:23:37

He saw a large crack in one of the buildings

0:23:370:23:39

and realised, being an ex-fireman,

0:23:390:23:41

that it was in a dangerous situation,

0:23:410:23:44

so he ran up the stairs and rescued 68 people

0:23:440:23:46

from the three-storey building.

0:23:460:23:48

And he got them out into the street and he went back in to check it,

0:23:480:23:53

-and as he was leaving, the building collapsed.

-Wow!

0:23:530:23:55

Fortunately, he was uninjured.

0:23:550:23:57

So the city gave him this medal, and the back of it has

0:23:570:24:00

a beautiful inscription that outlines what he did.

0:24:000:24:05

Beautifully told, in detail.

0:24:050:24:07

For Tom, this place is like a giant dressing-up box.

0:24:070:24:11

Are these yours?

0:24:110:24:13

-Yes, the... I started in 1966...

-Wow!

0:24:130:24:15

..when I was a police cadet, and it's sort of got out of hand!

0:24:150:24:19

It has!

0:24:190:24:20

I'm...I'm thinking of taking it up seriously!

0:24:200:24:24

How many have you got?

0:24:240:24:25

I have 200 uniforms.

0:24:250:24:28

200 uniforms. From how many different countries?

0:24:280:24:30

Er...from about... 92 different countries.

0:24:300:24:34

Which country in the world has the most flamboyant police uniform?

0:24:340:24:39

I would say that the ceremonial uniform of the Italian Carabinieri

0:24:390:24:42

takes a lot of beating.

0:24:420:24:44

-Which was the hardest one to get hold of?

-I would say

0:24:440:24:46

the cap from North Korea was...

0:24:460:24:48

-Yes, I can see how that...

-Yes.

0:24:480:24:50

Now, Alastair, this fez, how did that appear in your collection?

0:24:500:24:53

-Just like that!

-No!

0:24:530:24:56

THEY LAUGH

0:24:560:24:57

And that joke, absolutely criminal!

0:24:570:25:00

-Thank you so much for showing us round.

-My pleasure, Charlie.

0:25:000:25:02

Could have talked to you all day. Absolutely fascinating.

0:25:020:25:05

So, a respectable first foray into antiques finding.

0:25:050:25:09

But there is still much work to be done.

0:25:090:25:13

Go and recharge, m'dears,

0:25:130:25:14

for tomorrow, the case of unearthing more treasures continues.

0:25:140:25:19

Nighty-night.

0:25:190:25:21

It's a brand new day, and our bright young things and experts - ha! -

0:25:230:25:27

are champing at the bit to be reunited

0:25:270:25:29

for more feverish antiques finding.

0:25:290:25:31

I think we were so lucky to get James and Charlie, weren't we?

0:25:310:25:35

I think we've been very, very lucky,

0:25:350:25:37

cos they're both extremely nice

0:25:370:25:38

and extremely funny and extremely expert.

0:25:380:25:41

I should think Emilia's probably quite a good negotiator.

0:25:410:25:44

She is good, and she's got the eyes for it.

0:25:440:25:46

Oh, I bet she just flutters the eyelids

0:25:460:25:48

and the price falls like a stone!

0:25:480:25:51

And the other thing that I noticed about them

0:25:510:25:54

is that they're not competitive with each other at all about it.

0:25:540:25:57

Have you not seen the little wax dolls they've got of each other,

0:25:570:26:00

with pins in them, no?

0:26:000:26:01

Tom is a complete delight.

0:26:010:26:03

The man showed considerable nous and dealing ability on his first day.

0:26:030:26:08

Marvellous.

0:26:080:26:09

Actually, can I auction you?

0:26:090:26:11

Er...

0:26:110:26:13

Now that is how I could make some money!

0:26:130:26:16

We're not doing a slave auction here, Emilia,

0:26:160:26:18

although you might have a point!

0:26:180:26:20

Yesterday, our beautiful starlets flirted,

0:26:230:26:27

foisted, and fluttered their eyelashes

0:26:270:26:30

into the hearts of dealers in this,

0:26:300:26:32

the most friendly city in Scotland.

0:26:320:26:35

It's Glasgow, by the way!

0:26:350:26:36

Emilia and James spent £202 and got something for everyone -

0:26:360:26:41

a framed oil painting of a rural scene,

0:26:410:26:44

a pair of Bedouin tribal bags with complimentary cushions,

0:26:440:26:48

a 1970s Subbuteo football game set,

0:26:480:26:51

and a Dinky ABC Television scanner truck,

0:26:510:26:55

leaving them with £198 to spend today.

0:26:550:26:58

God, Vincenzo!

0:26:580:27:01

Lucky chap!

0:27:010:27:03

Personally, I can't wait to see what they buy.

0:27:030:27:06

Meanwhile, best buddies Tom and Charlie

0:27:060:27:09

embarked on something of a shaggy dog story.

0:27:090:27:12

Rock it, Tom!

0:27:120:27:13

Tom fell in love with a vintage radio,

0:27:130:27:17

only to have birthday girl Ros throw in a classy canine effigy.

0:27:170:27:21

Charlie haggled his heart out with Vincenzo

0:27:210:27:24

to get the contents of a glass cabinet.

0:27:240:27:26

I just heard that you bought the radio.

0:27:260:27:28

Then Vincenzo wanted the radio, so Tom struck a deal,

0:27:280:27:32

meaning they got all the glassware for £100.

0:27:320:27:35

You're a natural dealer!

0:27:350:27:37

-Cor! The dog was still free...

-Mwah!

0:27:370:27:41

..and Ros got a birthday kiss, leaving them £300 to spend today.

0:27:410:27:45

Now, everyone is headed 15 miles west of Glasgow,

0:27:470:27:49

to the charming village of Kilbarchan,

0:27:490:27:52

which has been designated as an area of outstanding natural beauty.

0:27:520:27:57

Gardner's Antique Centre here in Kilbarchan

0:27:570:28:00

is rammed with rarities for our investigation teams to uncover.

0:28:000:28:04

Good morning!

0:28:040:28:06

-Yeah!

-So, it's like Christmas, waking up

0:28:060:28:09

-to start again!

-How are you?

0:28:090:28:11

-Hi.

-Follow the pug!

0:28:110:28:13

Piled high with stunning antique pieces,

0:28:150:28:18

the trick is not to miss a treasure.

0:28:180:28:20

-Walk round, but walk round slowly.

-Right.

0:28:200:28:24

-It's very easy in a place like this, full of fantastic things...

-Yeah.

0:28:240:28:27

-to walk down there, walk down there...

-Yes.

0:28:270:28:29

..walk down there, and you can miss something that you really like.

0:28:290:28:32

Like hunting a small creature which might just be

0:28:320:28:34

-nestling two feet from you.

-Yes, yes!

-So you've got be...

0:28:340:28:37

Tom and Charlie - poised to pounce!

0:28:370:28:40

Decorative items sell well.

0:28:400:28:42

-Decorative doesn't?

-Does.

0:28:420:28:44

-Does.

-So busts or that country house look,

0:28:440:28:46

that's what they're after.

0:28:460:28:48

I'm worried that my kitsch taste will get in the way!

0:28:480:28:52

No, no, no, we're fine.

0:28:520:28:53

Oh, I love this tea cosy!

0:28:550:28:58

No, Emilia - that's not kitsch at all!

0:28:580:29:01

-How much is that?

-68.

0:29:010:29:03

-Ooh, no!

-Huh? I know, I know! OK!

0:29:030:29:05

That's too expensive, isn't it?

0:29:050:29:07

Let's keep going. Oh...

0:29:070:29:09

Now, this is interesting, isn't it?

0:29:090:29:11

I like that. You've got a good eye.

0:29:110:29:14

It's very...again, that lovely cranes, Japanese aesthetic,

0:29:140:29:19

and it's made by Doulton.

0:29:190:29:21

It's very unusual.

0:29:210:29:23

How much is that? 38?

0:29:230:29:25

-Are you pleased, then?

-Definitely.

0:29:250:29:26

OK. Thank goodness!

0:29:260:29:28

-Definitely.

-Phew!

0:29:280:29:30

You hang on to that. We don't want the boys to grab it.

0:29:300:29:32

Let's keep that with us,

0:29:320:29:33

and shall we have a quick look in the other room?

0:29:330:29:36

Charlie, what do you think of this?

0:29:360:29:37

-I think there's one word here. "Ghastly" is...

-Oh, really?

0:29:370:29:41

-I thought it was an unusual thing...

-Yeah...

0:29:410:29:43

..an old lady might like in her conservatory,

0:29:430:29:45

to have flowerpots on, you know, that kind of vibe.

0:29:450:29:47

I think you're right, but an old lady with a conservatory

0:29:470:29:50

probably wouldn't pay more than a tenner for it.

0:29:500:29:52

I'm not in this for profit.

0:29:520:29:53

I'm in it for making old ladies happy.

0:29:530:29:55

Then, we'll have the tray...

0:29:550:29:57

Frankly, I'm up against it,

0:29:570:29:58

if you're just in this for making old ladies happy!

0:29:580:30:01

-We've almost covered the whole shop now.

-Have you?

0:30:010:30:04

Yep. We're doing breakneck speed.

0:30:040:30:07

-Oh no, we've been much, much more selective, haven't we, Tom?

-We have.

0:30:070:30:10

Come and have a look at this.

0:30:120:30:14

That's great. Is it complete? That's important.

0:30:140:30:17

I don't know when, it's presumably, Enid Blyton, so that's...

0:30:170:30:21

-Post-war.

-Post-war.

-1953. That would be right.

0:30:210:30:23

Chad Valley, great maker of toys,

0:30:230:30:26

but what's fantastic here, this presumably was bought

0:30:260:30:29

and given to somebody in the early 50s.

0:30:290:30:30

-And barely...

-They haven't used it!

0:30:300:30:33

-That's always the great thing.

-Yes, it's wonderful.

0:30:330:30:35

-What are we looking at?

-100 quid?

-80 quid, we could get that for.

0:30:350:30:40

I think that's collectable.

0:30:400:30:42

-I'm liking it.

-You're liking it? He's liking it.

0:30:420:30:45

-I'm thinking...

-First time for everything.

-Yes.

0:30:450:30:47

I'm just, going to pop it one side.

0:30:470:30:49

-And what I'll now do is drop it, there we are.

-Don't drop it.

0:30:490:30:52

Let's have a look round these two rooms

0:30:520:30:55

and see if we can find a nice ceramic that we both like.

0:30:550:31:00

I'm just going to give you some options.

0:31:000:31:02

-OK.

-OK? This.

-Yes.

0:31:020:31:04

-That.

-Yes.

-That.

0:31:040:31:08

-What about over here?

-No.

0:31:080:31:11

We've nearly been round all the rooms again.

0:31:110:31:14

I know, but it's amazing what you see on the second journey, isn't it?

0:31:140:31:17

-What about that?

-That's interesting, isn't it? Great shape.

0:31:170:31:21

Isn't it? It's beautiful.

0:31:210:31:22

-That's what, I would love to have that at home.

-Yeah.

0:31:220:31:25

An old chemist's bottle used to store ammonia.

0:31:250:31:30

Because of its antiseptic and corrosive qualities,

0:31:300:31:32

domestically in the old days,

0:31:320:31:34

it would have been used mainly for cleaning purposes.

0:31:340:31:37

You can see how the label, they've put the label on the bottom,

0:31:370:31:40

so it would've been on those fabulous chemists' shelves, wouldn't it?

0:31:400:31:44

And there is a bit of damage there,

0:31:440:31:46

but if you had it on a high shelf, you might not notice.

0:31:460:31:48

And how much is it with said damage?

0:31:480:31:50

To us, £68. So that's not bad, is it?

0:31:500:31:54

So in a way, the break has given us the opportunity of purchase.

0:31:540:31:58

-I mean gosh, it's...

-Can you see it?

-..jewel-like purple, isn't it?

0:31:580:32:01

It's nightclub purple, isn't it?

0:32:010:32:03

-HE LAUGHS

-Shall we go for them?

0:32:030:32:05

-Yes, but can we, can we, get anything, fit anything else in?

-No.

0:32:050:32:10

Co-owner David Gardner is happy to help.

0:32:100:32:13

I think with the damage, it's really a showy thing now...

0:32:130:32:15

-It is, yeah.

-It's a display thing.

0:32:150:32:18

Emilia, you're missing these pearls of wisdom here.

0:32:180:32:20

I'm still searching!

0:32:200:32:22

I'm just going to come and present to you with more things.

0:32:220:32:25

Why did you like this, Emilia?

0:32:250:32:26

Um, I think it's such an unusual shape.

0:32:260:32:31

-It is.

-It's a great shape, isn't it?

-Ewer, from a basin in Ewer set.

0:32:310:32:36

I think it will fit in with almost any interior.

0:32:360:32:40

I think that's a great lot. Come on, what's the trade on this?

0:32:400:32:44

They're 32 and 68, so you've got £100 there.

0:32:440:32:47

-£100. You happy?

-Very.

0:32:470:32:48

-We've got £100.

-Well spent. Well spent indeed.

-Yes.

0:32:480:32:51

We've bought very individual lots that'll stand out.

0:32:510:32:54

They'll, either...

0:32:540:32:56

I think they could do quite well.

0:32:560:32:58

They'll "either" what, James?

0:32:580:32:59

Decided not to finish the sentence, eh?

0:32:590:33:02

Well, time will tell.

0:33:020:33:04

-You're teaching me, you're teaching me.

-No!

0:33:040:33:07

-You're teaching me.

-Absolutely not. I'm driving you mad.

0:33:070:33:09

-Everyone loves a nice light.

-Yes, I couldn't agree more.

0:33:130:33:18

-It's not dear, is it?

-38 quid?

0:33:180:33:20

There's one thing, at auction, you can't sell it with plugs on,

0:33:200:33:23

because if somebody buys it in an auction room,

0:33:230:33:26

plug it in, stick the fingers in there, electrocute themselves,

0:33:260:33:28

sue the saleroom, thank you very much.

0:33:280:33:30

-Fine.

-What was Noddy, 80?

-80.

-And this is 38.

0:33:300:33:34

-Get it for 110, the whole lot?

-I like that.

-Yeah, go on.

0:33:340:33:38

100 would be better, I mean 110! HE LAUGHS

0:33:380:33:41

-Shall I leave it to you?

-I thought you would. OK.

0:33:410:33:43

I've also seen, because I'm on a roll with you now see,

0:33:430:33:45

I've caught you in one of your good moods.

0:33:450:33:47

HE LAUGHS

0:33:470:33:49

I'm going to...

0:33:490:33:51

Have you ever seen me in a bad mood?

0:33:510:33:53

What? I don't know yet.

0:33:530:33:54

I don't want to be there when it happens.

0:33:540:33:55

-Come and see.

-Come and look.

-Yes, yes.

0:33:550:33:58

This is a pair, which I know always sends you into giddy ecstasy.

0:34:010:34:04

HE LAUGHS

0:34:040:34:06

-Of what?

-Japanese.

0:34:060:34:07

Creamware. They're enamel decorated.

0:34:070:34:10

They are into the 20th century, but not by a great deal,

0:34:100:34:14

I would say they're 1910, 1920.

0:34:140:34:17

-Right.

-So, 100 years old.

0:34:170:34:19

Simulated bamboo handles, which I quite like.

0:34:190:34:22

-Yes.

-They are, by Japanese standards, poor quality.

0:34:220:34:26

-Poor quality.

-Well no, that's rude. Average quality is a better word.

0:34:260:34:29

-But if they weren't, they'd be 1,500 quid's worth, this size.

-Right.

0:34:290:34:33

Nice geisha girls.

0:34:330:34:35

-Alright, keep it clean.

-CHARLIE LAUGHS

0:34:350:34:37

Peonies. Lotus blossom.

0:34:370:34:39

You've got everything you need in Japan.

0:34:390:34:42

-It's 90 quid.

-Yes.

0:34:420:34:44

-I think if we do the Noddy...

-Yes.

0:34:440:34:46

-..do this...

-Three items.

0:34:460:34:48

Three items, and say he knocked...

0:34:480:34:50

Well, we can ask David. David? How good's your maths?

0:34:520:34:55

-38 for this.

-Yes.

0:34:550:34:56

-90 for that is 128.

-Yes.

0:34:560:34:59

-80 for that would be 208 in total, as per tag.

-Yes.

0:34:590:35:03

Sounds like 200 quid to me, doesn't it?

0:35:030:35:05

-I think it does, sounds quite like 200 quid.

-Yes.

0:35:050:35:07

-Does it sound like 200 quid?

-We couldn't manage £200, no.

0:35:070:35:10

-Doesn't sound like 200 quid.

-No, it doesn't. Sounds like £208.

0:35:100:35:13

Sounds exactly like £208.

0:35:130:35:15

-Thanks for putting us straight.

-Yes, my pleasure.

0:35:150:35:18

-Are you happy?

-I'm happy. Thank you, David.

0:35:180:35:20

-Absolutely, thank you.

-Well done , partner.

0:35:200:35:23

After a fairly hapless attempt at haggling,

0:35:230:35:27

Tom and James are paying the ticket price for everything.

0:35:270:35:29

£80 for the Noddy tea set,

0:35:290:35:31

£38 for the cut glass table lamp

0:35:310:35:33

and £90 for the pair of Japanese vases,

0:35:330:35:36

bringing their total to £208.

0:35:360:35:39

I admire your tenacity.

0:35:440:35:46

You were in there, and you wanted to spend absolutely everything.

0:35:460:35:49

And you almost did.

0:35:490:35:51

HE LAUGHS Well, I'm a terrier!

0:35:510:35:52

So do you think we could have a new show together,

0:35:520:35:56

called Shop Till You Drop?

0:35:560:35:57

-Shop Till You Drop, or Fill The Van.

-Fill The Van.

0:35:570:36:00

HE LAUGHS

0:36:000:36:01

Taking a break from their object-finding mission,

0:36:010:36:06

James has brought Emilia to an exhibition

0:36:060:36:08

in Glasgow's Trongate building called Sharmanka,

0:36:080:36:12

Kinetic Theatre by Russian-born artist, Eduard Barsudski.

0:36:120:36:18

Eduard specialises in using found and hand-carved objects

0:36:180:36:24

which perform an enchanting choreography to haunting music,

0:36:240:36:28

telling funny and tragic stories of the human spirit.

0:36:280:36:32

It's an amazing space, isn't it?

0:36:330:36:36

James and Emilia have come to meet Eduard's right-hand woman,

0:36:360:36:40

Tatyana Jakovskaya.

0:36:400:36:43

-Hello!

-Hello.

-Welcome to Sharmanka.

-Hello, James.

-Hello, James.

0:36:440:36:48

-Emilia.

-Emilia.

0:36:480:36:50

Friend, collaborator and art critic,

0:36:520:36:56

Tatyana co-founded Sharmanka with Eduard in 1988 in St Petersburg,

0:36:560:37:01

and is still the theatre's director today.

0:37:010:37:04

Sharmanka in Russian means 'barrel organ', hurdy-gurdy.

0:37:040:37:08

It's also a symbol of things going in circle.

0:37:080:37:12

-I see.

-So here in the west you believe in the progress,

0:37:120:37:16

and you know, east believes that everything goes in circles.

0:37:160:37:20

There are currently 35 sculptures by Eduard Barsudski

0:37:230:37:26

on display here, and several more are out touring the country.

0:37:260:37:30

Aside from training briefly to be an electrician,

0:37:320:37:35

Eduard has no mechanical training.

0:37:350:37:38

I met him 25 years ago in St Petersburg, Russia.

0:37:380:37:43

A friend brought me to his flat...

0:37:430:37:46

Er, not really flat, room

0:37:460:37:48

and in this room, I saw all these machines.

0:37:480:37:51

Really?

0:37:510:37:52

He lived among them on something which was his armchair daytime,

0:37:520:37:57

and his bed at night.

0:37:570:37:59

The first found objects Eduard used

0:38:010:38:04

were bits of carved furniture from pre-revolution Russia,

0:38:040:38:08

which, when he first started to make these sculptures,

0:38:080:38:11

were being discarded by everyone in favour of modern furniture.

0:38:110:38:15

Fleeing from Communist oppression in the USSR,

0:38:150:38:18

Eduard came to Scotland in 1993,

0:38:180:38:21

desperate to continue telling his stories

0:38:210:38:23

through the medium of mechanic sculptures.

0:38:230:38:27

This is the first piece Eduard made here,

0:38:300:38:34

and is affectionately named Jock's Jokes,

0:38:340:38:38

after a rather amusing chimney sweep he met called Jock Redburn.

0:38:380:38:42

He collected all beautiful scrap, industrial scrap,

0:38:430:38:47

and he would not allow anybody to use anything of this,

0:38:470:38:52

until he saw photographs of Eduard kinemats.

0:38:520:38:56

So they found each other after each other's own heart.

0:38:560:38:59

They found each other, yes.

0:38:590:39:01

I mean, they're just utterly extraordinary pieces.

0:39:010:39:03

Was he fascinated by time? By clocks? By watches?

0:39:030:39:08

-I don't know why they keep appearing.

-Yes, of course.

0:39:080:39:10

I think that it's kind of feeling that old objects

0:39:100:39:14

keep touches of people who use them.

0:39:140:39:17

This piece is called Titanic,

0:39:170:39:19

and was made in 1994 for a major exhibition in Glasgow.

0:39:190:39:23

It was later bought to be one of the central pieces

0:39:230:39:27

for the opening ceremony of Glasgow's Museum of Modern Art.

0:39:270:39:31

We have to step over, so be, please, be very, very careful.

0:39:330:39:38

This is no time for comic trips!

0:39:380:39:40

SHE LAUGHS

0:39:400:39:42

Oh!

0:39:420:39:43

James!

0:39:430:39:44

This is a butter churn, became heart of Titanic.

0:39:440:39:48

And I think that name Titanic came from this bell...

0:39:480:39:51

-That's gorgeous.

-..which was bought in Belgium.

0:39:510:39:55

As a joke, we ask seller, is it real one from Titanic?

0:39:550:39:58

and he go, "Yes, of course, I have many of them."

0:39:580:40:00

THEY LAUGH

0:40:000:40:02

It's such a wonderful merging of mechanics and theatre, isn't it?

0:40:040:40:08

-Yes.

-And I love the way you describe it, with a heart.

-Yes.

0:40:080:40:12

It sort of, it gives it its life.

0:40:120:40:15

Eduard thinks that it's not so much he is making them,

0:40:150:40:19

they just make themselves, he just help them into existence.

0:40:190:40:25

This is amazing. You sit there.

0:40:270:40:30

CHIMES

0:40:300:40:34

The passion and originality with which Eduard Barsudski

0:40:340:40:37

started making his kinemat is ever present today,

0:40:370:40:41

and with Eduard now 72, still working six days a week

0:40:410:40:45

on making more and more of these fantastic creations,

0:40:450:40:49

we can look forward to many more mechanical marvels to come.

0:40:490:40:52

And sailing towards their last shop of the trip,

0:40:550:40:59

Tom and Charlie are almost home and dry.

0:40:590:41:01

-One more shop?

-One more shop.

0:41:010:41:03

We're in quite good shape. We can relax.

0:41:030:41:06

THUNDER CLAP

0:41:060:41:10

God! What about this? Have you seen rain like this?!

0:41:100:41:13

Look at it!

0:41:130:41:15

Oh, dear. Looks like you spoke too soon about the dry bit anyway.

0:41:150:41:19

We're taking in water, guv'nor.

0:41:190:41:21

Woah! My God!

0:41:210:41:23

LAUGHTER

0:41:230:41:25

I'm sitting in three inches of water!

0:41:250:41:27

-Oh. Under the Clyde!

-The Clyde, I know.

0:41:270:41:29

-How's the red gunner, sir?

-Haven't heard from him since Calais.

0:41:350:41:38

Come on.

0:41:380:41:40

Tom and a rather soggy Charlie

0:41:400:41:43

have come to Glasgow City Antiques,

0:41:430:41:46

hoping to find something which will help make a splash at the auction.

0:41:460:41:50

Hello! How are you?

0:41:500:41:53

-Fine, thank you.

-I've had an accident.

0:41:530:41:56

-Do you want a towel?

-I don't think there's anything a towel can do, my dear.

0:41:560:42:00

It's only water, Charlie. You won't melt.

0:42:000:42:03

With a number of traders housed under one roof, there's tons to see.

0:42:030:42:07

I've never actually dried my bottom with a hairdryer before,

0:42:100:42:14

and it's got a certain je ne sais quoi.

0:42:140:42:16

Oh, Charlie, you are awful.

0:42:160:42:18

Ah, look. There he there he is.

0:42:180:42:20

The whiff of the antiques gets him pointing.

0:42:200:42:24

-You're still doing a bit of that, aren't you?

-I'm drying out slowly.

0:42:240:42:27

You're shaking yourself out.

0:42:270:42:28

Have you seen anything you can't live without?

0:42:280:42:30

Christian Dior collar.

0:42:320:42:35

-Is that fashionable these days?

-I don't know.

0:42:350:42:38

-You're at the cutting edge of fashion.

-Am I?

-Yeah.

0:42:380:42:41

Name is great. Fifties is kind of glam.

0:42:410:42:43

There you are, sir.

0:42:430:42:44

Just half close your eyes and imagine I'm beautiful and female.

0:42:440:42:48

Not wearing glasses, with hair.

0:42:480:42:49

I'm an imaginative man, but I think even my...

0:42:490:42:53

LAUGHTER

0:42:530:42:55

Stop larking around, you two!

0:42:550:42:57

You need to find your last lot.

0:42:570:43:00

There. Rather classical, Wedgwood, black basalt brooch.

0:43:000:43:04

-That's rather lovely, actually.

-It's gorgeous.

0:43:040:43:07

-Shall we have a look?

-Just check if it says Wedgwood.

0:43:070:43:10

It does say Wedgwood.

0:43:100:43:12

That's promising.

0:43:120:43:14

Trader John is acting as go-between,

0:43:140:43:15

as the dealer who owns the brooch is a bit camera shy.

0:43:150:43:20

Would he know if that's gold or not?

0:43:200:43:22

-Give me two minutes and I'll find out for you.

-Could you ask him?

0:43:220:43:25

I think it's a really interesting... It's marked up at £100.

0:43:250:43:28

Right, OK.

0:43:280:43:29

That's exactly the kind of thing I can see my mother-in-law wearing.

0:43:290:43:33

-She's a very stylish Elegant woman.

-Elegant lady, yeah.

0:43:330:43:36

It's the sort of word you have to use about mother-in-laws.

0:43:360:43:38

I know, I said it quickly.

0:43:380:43:41

It's wonderful quality.

0:43:410:43:44

-Sir.

-Davi...John! Nearly called you David.

0:43:440:43:47

-That wouldn't have helped, would it?

-No.

0:43:470:43:49

It's been tested as gold.

0:43:490:43:51

-It has?

-And how old? We thought it's about...

0:43:510:43:54

About 100 years old.

0:43:540:43:56

Black, death, Queen Victoria.

0:43:560:43:59

-Oh, I see what you're getting at.

-There were a lot of things

0:43:590:44:03

around about 1,900 that were ebonised.

0:44:030:44:04

The furniture was ebonised, in other words blackened,

0:44:040:44:07

for obvious reasons. I mean, from the death of Albert

0:44:070:44:10

rather than Queen Victoria.

0:44:100:44:11

When she went into black, everything went into black.

0:44:110:44:14

So what's the, to use a horrible expression, death on it?

0:44:140:44:18

-His definite bottom line's £70.

-£70.

0:44:180:44:21

-I think 70 quid, that's a bargain.

-We'd like to buy that please, John.

0:44:210:44:24

John, thank you very much indeed.

0:44:240:44:27

It's very wet, I'm afraid, my money. Do you want to hold that?

0:44:270:44:30

Well, we've got 22 quid leftover for a towel.

0:44:300:44:33

Think you'd put a towel in the auction,

0:44:330:44:35

having wiped my body down with it?

0:44:350:44:37

That would enhance its value about 25,000%.

0:44:370:44:41

Well, the boys are pinning their hopes

0:44:410:44:44

on the brooch being a gem at auction.

0:44:440:44:46

Having paid £70 for it, I'm keeping everything crossed.

0:44:460:44:51

And now for the moment of truth,

0:44:510:44:53

when they must reveal what they've each bought.

0:44:530:44:56

-Come on, go on.

-Let's get on with it.

0:44:560:44:59

-We bought a lot.

-(JAMES) That is a lot!

0:44:590:45:01

Wow!

0:45:010:45:03

-Haven't we bought a lot?

-We have bought a lot.

0:45:030:45:05

This is a Noddy tea set,

0:45:050:45:08

-Chad Valley, which apparently is good.

-Yep.

0:45:080:45:11

And we bought this sort of crystal based lamp,

0:45:110:45:14

-which we got for 38 quid I think.

-What's the history of that lamp?

0:45:140:45:17

I bought it today. That's all the history I know.

0:45:170:45:20

-I need some lamps at home.

-Marvellous, that's a buyer!

0:45:200:45:23

And then we've got these, which are apparently quite average

0:45:230:45:27

but quite nice, presentable,

0:45:270:45:30

Japanese, turn of the last century...

0:45:300:45:32

1920s probably, Satsuma.

0:45:320:45:34

-But that's our best buy I think.

-(JAMES) Now what is that?

0:45:340:45:37

It's a Wedgwood. 19th century Wedgwood brooch,

0:45:370:45:40

mounted with gold.

0:45:400:45:42

That's beautiful.

0:45:420:45:43

-Paid 70 quid.

-Very good.

0:45:430:45:46

-James, are you worried?

-No, we're fine. We're fine.

0:45:460:45:48

-Why do you look so worried?

-No, I'm not worried. Well done.

0:45:480:45:52

This is what we've bought.

0:45:520:45:53

That's fantastic.

0:45:530:45:55

That's rather nice.

0:45:550:45:56

-That's fabulous.

-A chemist's jar.

-(TOM) That's a great thing.

0:45:560:45:59

Hang on. By your finger, is there a little bit

0:45:590:46:01

of a bijou damagette there?

0:46:010:46:03

-Undamaged I would say that's £300.

-And with damage?

0:46:030:46:07

With damage? Well, I don't know. 12 quid?

0:46:070:46:10

I'm only joking!

0:46:100:46:12

-He's a rotter.

-That's cruel. Watch my face.

0:46:120:46:14

-75.

-Almost spot on. 68.

0:46:140:46:17

-I like that very much.

-(TOM) Yeah, that's really lovely.

0:46:170:46:20

Our big ticket item was the sort of the contents

0:46:200:46:23

of a Bedouin tent here.

0:46:230:46:25

Yeah. I did have a feel inside.

0:46:250:46:26

They aren't actually chunks inside, are they?

0:46:260:46:29

-No. They're sponge rubber.

-Sponge rubber.

0:46:290:46:31

You can fill them with whatever you want.

0:46:310:46:33

-You can. Soft furnishings, yes?

-Exactly.

0:46:330:46:36

Well done, defend your corner!

0:46:360:46:38

I will! I love those.

0:46:380:46:40

-So we bought that.

-Ooh!

0:46:400:46:43

-Is that a Corgi or a Dinky?

-Dinky.

0:46:430:46:45

Love the way you said, "Dinky" there.

0:46:450:46:47

Quick as a flash, "Dinky."

0:46:470:46:49

Didn't have to think, did he?

0:46:490:46:51

Don't have Corgi where we are!

0:46:510:46:53

-Right, see you there.

-See you at the auction.

0:46:530:46:56

How convinced were they really about what each other had bought?

0:46:560:46:59

With these actors, sometimes you know it's hard to tell.

0:46:590:47:02

-What do you think?

-The whole thing will hinge on that Bedouin.

0:47:020:47:05

I could see those in West London, going into a smart flat

0:47:050:47:08

for hundreds of pounds.

0:47:080:47:10

(JAMES) I'm not mad about the dog.

0:47:100:47:12

And I'm not mad about those vases, but someone will be, won't they?

0:47:120:47:15

They will be.

0:47:150:47:16

(TOM) I love that huge bottle.

0:47:160:47:19

I think the fact that the top's been off it, I think it's important.

0:47:190:47:22

The only big threat, I think, from them

0:47:220:47:26

is that fabulous collection of 12 silver topped bottles.

0:47:260:47:30

All's fair in love and war.

0:47:300:47:32

I think it's just going to boil down to Bedouin versus brooch.

0:47:320:47:35

Come on, let's go and have a beer.

0:47:350:47:37

Well, it's time to leave the delights of Bonnie Scotland

0:47:370:47:40

and head 450 miles south to the beauty of Billingshurst

0:47:400:47:44

in West Sussex, for that all-important auction.

0:47:440:47:48

Are you nervous or are you excited?

0:47:480:47:50

I'm quite excited and I'm a bit nervous

0:47:500:47:52

about whether anyone is actually going to bid.

0:47:520:47:56

I think people will think,

0:47:560:47:58

"Ah, if Emilia Fox likes this, then I must buy it."

0:47:580:48:01

-Confident of making a profit?

-I think so.

0:48:010:48:05

I'm just expecting profit, after profit, after profit.

0:48:050:48:08

Should be a slam dunk, shouldn't it?

0:48:080:48:10

Quite right, chaps.

0:48:100:48:12

That's the kind of confidence that gets you far in life.

0:48:120:48:15

Bellmans Auctioneers have been auctioning fine art,

0:48:150:48:19

antiques and collectables for over 20 years.

0:48:190:48:22

Here we are. The moment of truth.

0:48:220:48:25

The moment of truth.

0:48:250:48:27

150.

0:48:270:48:29

And we have eagle-eyed auctioneer Will Pasfield

0:48:290:48:33

to give us his verdict on what's on the table.

0:48:330:48:36

First of all, it's a St Bernard.

0:48:360:48:37

We need to find two people who love St Bernards

0:48:370:48:39

to get them bidding against each other.

0:48:390:48:42

I think my personal favourite item is the wet drug jar,

0:48:420:48:45

but the big chip on the neck is going to affect the price.

0:48:450:48:48

The cut glass table lamp is going to be a little bit of a tricky sale.

0:48:480:48:52

We'll be lucky if we get £10 for it.

0:48:520:48:54

The pair of Bedouin tribal bag seats and the other cushions as well.

0:48:540:48:57

We've never sold anything like it before, but I'll see what I can do.

0:48:570:49:00

Both teams started with £400 each.

0:49:020:49:05

Emilia and James spent £302

0:49:050:49:09

on an array of erm goodies.

0:49:090:49:11

Six things in total, which are now organised into six auction lots.

0:49:110:49:15

Go on, go on!

0:49:150:49:18

And by nefarious means, Charlie and Tom

0:49:190:49:22

have ended up with six auction lots and spent a total of £378.

0:49:220:49:27

Mwah!

0:49:280:49:30

Take your seats. Eyes front.

0:49:300:49:33

The auction is about to begin.

0:49:330:49:34

-Before we start, I just want to say good luck.

-Good luck.

0:49:340:49:38

Here we go, here we go.

0:49:380:49:40

First up, it's Emilia and James's football game.

0:49:400:49:43

It's not fair.

0:49:430:49:45

Everyone's holding hands except for me.

0:49:450:49:48

£10 is the bid. 15 now, 15...

0:49:480:49:51

Yes! Please, please! 15, 25.

0:49:510:49:53

£10. If we're all done at £10?

0:49:530:49:56

I knew it.

0:49:560:49:57

Oh dear, that's not so good.

0:49:570:50:00

-It's a bit worrying.

-Don't worry, don't worry.

0:50:000:50:02

Well, I think James knew, but he didn't like to say.

0:50:020:50:06

Can Charlie and Tom's dainty cut glass lamp light up the room?

0:50:080:50:11

£10 pounds for the lamp. £10, please.

0:50:110:50:14

That's not worth £10.

0:50:140:50:15

It's a lovely lamp, sir. It's the best lamp you've ever seen.

0:50:150:50:18

A bid of £10. It's going to sell for £10, any further interest?

0:50:180:50:23

15, hey! Now we're going. Come on, sir!

0:50:230:50:26

25 on the internet.

0:50:260:50:27

I'll lend you a fiver.

0:50:270:50:28

Don't just sit there man, bid!

0:50:280:50:30

It's gone blank, I'm afraid.

0:50:300:50:32

All done?

0:50:320:50:33

GAVEL BANGS

0:50:330:50:35

Well done, sir!

0:50:350:50:36

No. But hey, they got more than the predicted tenner for it.

0:50:360:50:40

Lot number 15A - a Dinky ABC television

0:50:400:50:44

TV remote controllable truck.

0:50:440:50:46

The person that bought that lot said it was £20...

0:50:460:50:49

Come on you lot, pay attention.

0:50:490:50:52

This is one of your lots.

0:50:520:50:54

Who's got the 5 anywhere?

0:50:540:50:56

Are we selling your lot?

0:50:560:50:59

£30.

0:50:590:51:00

Well, let's ask him afterwards. I'm sure it went for 20.

0:51:000:51:02

Correction - it was James's Dinky.

0:51:020:51:05

Just so you know, it fetched £30.

0:51:050:51:08

Go back!

0:51:090:51:11

No can do, Emilia. This auction waits for no man.

0:51:110:51:14

OK, or woman.

0:51:140:51:16

Next was Charlie and Tom's bargain bootie

0:51:160:51:20

of silver topped bottles.

0:51:200:51:22

£30 to start me for the set bottles.

0:51:220:51:25

-£30 and 5 and 40 and 5 and 40...

-There's hundreds!

0:51:250:51:29

..and 5 and 60 and 5 and 70.

0:51:290:51:32

With the lady at £70.

0:51:320:51:34

Come on, internet.

0:51:340:51:35

85 on the net.

0:51:350:51:37

And 5 on the net, 90

0:51:370:51:39

95 on the net if you want to bid,

0:51:390:51:40

100, 110,

0:51:400:51:42

120, 130, 140, 150?

0:51:420:51:45

140 with the lady smiling.

0:51:450:51:48

Do I see 150 anywhere?

0:51:480:51:50

If we're all done, it's a fair warning, £140.

0:51:500:51:54

-Well done.

-Well done to Charlie.

0:51:540:51:56

Not quite the profit Charlie predicted,

0:51:560:51:59

but profit never the less.

0:51:590:52:01

Profit would be the best medicine for Emilia and James

0:52:020:52:06

with this 19th Century chemist's bottle.

0:52:060:52:09

Straight in at £50.

0:52:090:52:10

I'll take the 5 now, 5 anywhere? 5 anywhere?

0:52:100:52:15

55, 60.

0:52:150:52:17

60 and 5 and 70 and 5

0:52:170:52:19

and 80 and 5 and 90 and 5 and 100

0:52:190:52:23

and 10. Are you sure?

0:52:230:52:25

-Keep going, it's so lovely!

-110 to clear the line,

0:52:250:52:28

Are we all done?

0:52:280:52:29

No! No! Keep going.

0:52:290:52:32

120, 130, 140 net, 150,

0:52:320:52:35

All bids on the internet.

0:52:350:52:37

All done, £140 on the internet

0:52:370:52:40

140... 150

0:52:400:52:41

Yay!

0:52:410:52:43

All done, selling on my left to £150.

0:52:430:52:47

-Yeah! Thank you so much.

-Thank you.

0:52:470:52:50

-Whoa!

-Well done!

0:52:500:52:53

Didn't they do well?

0:52:530:52:55

You've got the best jobs in the world, you two.

0:52:550:52:57

You really do, it's so exciting.

0:52:570:53:00

Oh, don't look at me with those puppy dog eyes.

0:53:000:53:02

It's not up to me.

0:53:020:53:05

£10, who wants it for £10?

0:53:050:53:07

Whoa, 10!

0:53:070:53:09

-The St Bernard!

-And 20? Do I see 5 anywhere?

0:53:090:53:12

-5 anywhere?

-Yes! 25 quid.

0:53:120:53:15

On my left at £25.

0:53:150:53:16

All out for £25.

0:53:160:53:20

Well done! That's amaz...

0:53:200:53:22

Oh, I know. Sorry, I'm not your partner.

0:53:220:53:25

Every dog does indeed have its day.

0:53:260:53:29

Next up, James and Emilia's

0:53:290:53:32

Japanese inspired ewer jug.

0:53:320:53:35

Oh! Oh, beautiful. That is a beautiful jug.

0:53:350:53:40

£10? £10 for a wash down ewer.

0:53:400:53:42

Where's my friend, where's she gone?

0:53:420:53:44

£10 is bid by the lady behind. In the middle,

0:53:440:53:46

do I see 15?

0:53:460:53:48

15 I see and 20 and 5.

0:53:480:53:51

-Do I see 30 anywhere

-Please, 30, pleas!

0:53:510:53:54

30 anywhere?

0:53:540:53:56

Done at £25.

0:53:560:54:00

-No shame!

-It's good.

0:54:000:54:01

This beautiful old bird didn't fly. Bad luck.

0:54:010:54:05

And now the painting which Emilia so loved.

0:54:050:54:09

The pretty painting, £10.

0:54:090:54:10

There it is, £10.

0:54:100:54:13

10, thank you very much. 15, 20.

0:54:130:54:16

It's going. It's kicking off.

0:54:160:54:18

I can't believe it.

0:54:180:54:20

Internet? No? Back of the room, sir.

0:54:200:54:22

From New York, Milan...

0:54:220:54:25

It's a world record for that artist.

0:54:250:54:27

And after all that, it failed to make a scene.

0:54:270:54:31

Charlie and Tom's Noddy tea set,

0:54:310:54:35

frankly it could go either way.

0:54:350:54:38

-Five anywhere for the Chad Valley tea set?

-Oh, come on!

0:54:380:54:41

45 with the lady on my right.

0:54:410:54:43

Who's got 50? Who's got 50 anywhere?

0:54:430:54:46

£45.

0:54:460:54:47

All done, selling for £45.

0:54:470:54:51

Big Ears, big loss.

0:54:510:54:52

No celebration tea here then!

0:54:520:54:56

Will anyone want to set up camp

0:54:560:54:58

with Emilia's Bedouin carpet bags?

0:54:580:55:01

Unusual lot this, who's going to start me off at £30?

0:55:010:55:04

-£30 for these bag seats, £30.

-They're really lovely.

0:55:040:55:07

-15? 15, 20...

-They're amazing.

0:55:070:55:10

-And 5.

-We need to get up over 125!

0:55:100:55:14

-And 30.

-We really need to get it up.

0:55:140:55:18

I don't think I can get it that high!

0:55:180:55:20

It's with the lady at £25.

0:55:200:55:21

Do I see 30 anywhere, 30 anywhere?

0:55:210:55:23

It's with the lady at £25. Are we all done?

0:55:230:55:27

EMILIA SOBS

0:55:270:55:29

Oh, but they're fantastic!

0:55:290:55:31

Well, yes. One lady - who just bagged the bargain of the century -

0:55:310:55:34

leaving another, Emilia, with the serious hump!

0:55:340:55:37

I just feel my stuff is not selling on the right day.

0:55:370:55:40

If we'd been here on another day...

0:55:400:55:42

That's happened to me for 40 years, darling.

0:55:420:55:45

Now it's time for Charlie and Tom's pair of Japanese vases.

0:55:450:55:50

£10 is bid, thank you. 15 now. 15, thank you, sir.

0:55:500:55:53

And 20 and 5...

0:55:530:55:55

Come on, they're big! They're very big! They're lovely.

0:55:550:55:58

They're gorgeous.

0:55:580:56:00

£30 has it on the left here, do I see 5 anywhere?

0:56:000:56:04

-Anyone else?

-One more.

0:56:040:56:06

-No? That's £30 on my left.

-Oh, my lord!

0:56:060:56:10

That's like going to the dentist. Root canal.

0:56:100:56:12

Root canal, no anaesthetic.

0:56:120:56:14

That may be, Tom, but for that measly £30,

0:56:140:56:17

you'd not even get a filling!

0:56:170:56:19

The Wedgwood brooch, now Charlie and Tom's last hope for profit.

0:56:210:56:24

-£10 to start for the brooch.

-It's gold!

0:56:240:56:28

£10, come on.

0:56:280:56:29

The gold's worth £20!

0:56:290:56:31

It's gold, for God's sake!

0:56:310:56:34

15, and 20.

0:56:340:56:35

It's gold! It's not plastic. It's Wedgwood and gold!

0:56:350:56:37

15 carat gold!

0:56:370:56:39

£30. 30 there...

0:56:390:56:41

It's 15 carat gold!

0:56:410:56:45

All done at 30.

0:56:450:56:47

Is this the worst anyone's ever done?

0:56:480:56:51

I would think so by some margin!

0:56:510:56:53

It would appear that all that's gold does not glitter.

0:56:530:56:57

So, our celebrities began

0:57:000:57:03

with £400 each.

0:57:030:57:05

Unfortunately, Tom and Charlie

0:57:050:57:08

made a whopping £144.30 loss.

0:57:080:57:10

They wind up their road trip

0:57:100:57:13

with just £255.70.

0:57:130:57:15

Emilia and James did slightly better.

0:57:160:57:20

After auction costs,

0:57:200:57:22

they made a loss of £80.60,

0:57:220:57:24

which means they leave this road trip

0:57:240:57:27

with £319.40, making them the winners!

0:57:270:57:30

Well, it's just a dirty shame, isn't it?

0:57:300:57:32

All that effort, all that work

0:57:320:57:34

and today, sadly no profits were made.

0:57:340:57:38

Well, it's been emotional, but all good things must come to an end.

0:57:380:57:42

Well, we've had a marvellous...

0:57:440:57:45

Are we talking about the winner of who's lost now?

0:57:450:57:48

Yes, yes.

0:57:480:57:50

You are slightly less pathetic than we are!

0:57:500:57:52

I don't know. That's not true at all.

0:57:520:57:54

No, we've had a wonderful time. Oh, we have really enjoyed it.

0:57:540:57:57

Well done, James. What fun.

0:57:570:57:59

(JAMES) Tom, Tom, really great.

0:57:590:58:01

Come on, James.

0:58:010:58:03

-Right, bye-bye.

-Toodle-pip!

-Bye.

0:58:030:58:06

Ah, there were some heartfelt hugs right there. Bye, chaps!

0:58:090:58:13

I had a very, very... Such a fun time.

0:58:130:58:16

Yep. Do you think we can stay on for longer?

0:58:160:58:18

Do you think they'd notice if we hid in the back of their car?

0:58:180:58:21

-Become their bag carriers?

-Yeah.

0:58:210:58:23

I'm sure it can be arranged.

0:58:230:58:25

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:58:420:58:45

Silent witness stars Emilia Fox and Tom Ward, aided by antiques experts James Braxton and Charlie Ross, embark on a case to uncover antiques which will turn a profit. They hit the streets of Glasgow and the village of Kilbarchan before their trip leads them to auction in Billingshurst in West Sussex.