Episode 11 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

'Some of the nation's favourite celebrities.' Why have I got such expensive taste?

'One antiques expert each.' HE LAUGHS

Do you want me to cry? 'And one big challenge.

'Who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices?'

Answers on a postcard. HAMMER BANGS

Ohh! 'And auction for a big profit further down the road?'

Good evening, viewers!

'Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice?'

Do you like it? No, I think it's horrible.

'And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"'

Well done, us. 'Time to put your peddle to the metal.

'This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

'Yeah!

'Today's Celebrity Road Trip is a battle of the soaps.

'Yes, it's north versus south,

'tripe versus jellied eels, Weatherfield versus Walford.'

How do I open the door?

'Starring EastEnders' Shaun Williamson...'

Well, there's no door handle. '..and Coronation Street's Vicky Entwistle.'

Hey, we could do like a Starsky and Hutch and just jump over.

20 years ago... HE LAUGHS

Well, I'll push you. ..I'd have taken you up on that.

'And just getting in this stunning 1998 TVR Chimaera

'has already got them into a bit of a lather.'

Ahh! Hey! Well done! It's under the wing mirror!

Hey, that's posh. Why?

Oh, it's very low, isn't it? Yeah, it's very low.

Right, now, don't mess my hair up cos I've got loads of hairspray on.

'Shaun spent ten years in Albert Square

'playing lovable loser and everyone's favourite fall guy, Barry Evans.'

You can have it all. I don't care. Take it.

Get off me!

HE SCREAMS

'But he had no problem getting in character for his next big role,

'playing himself in Ricky Gervais's Extras,

'a role he reprised for Life's Too Short.

'He also played himself when he won Celebrity Mastermind.'

I've got my... some breakfast for us. Oh!

'No rush, Shaun. There's only TV gold to make.'

Two pieces of toast, one with raspberry jam on and one with Marmite.

Can I have the jam? Yes. I hate Marmite.

It's one of them, isn't it? You either like it or you don't.

'You could be onto something there, Vicky. Star of the north,

'Ms Entwistle spent 13 years in Coronation Street

'playing the tart with a heart Janice Battersby,

'the matriarch of Weatherfield's neighbours from hell.

'But she's now gone from up north to the West End

'and a starring role as Madame Thenardier in Les Mis.'

I wish I had dark sunglasses on.

We're like Thelma and Louise. Yes! HE LAUGHS

Who was who? I never knew. I hope we find our Brad Pitt, that's all I can say.

'Well, look no further, Vicky. You can take your pick

'from either of these two fine specimens of manhood

'in a fine 1971 TR6,

'the racy Mark Stacey...'

You're a bit soap fan, aren't you?

'..and the rugged Paul Laidlaw.'

Which leads on, awkwardly... I can see you through the week

with your onesie and your one big slipper on

with a cup of cocoa. Have you been stalking me?

Do you know, I've got a webcam. THEY LAUGH

'Paul Laidlaw was an amateur collector for years

'before becoming an auctioneer and an expert in militaria.

'And he just loves shooting from the lip.'

Shaun, Celebrity Mastermind winner, I believe.

Oh, so you and him will have a lot in common. HE LAUGHS

Anorak central, is it? Well, I wasn't saying that, Paul,

but I think a lot of people just nodded in agreement at home.

Knowingly, mm. And I think Tim's listening and having a good giggle at that one.

'I couldn't possibly comment, Mark.

'But what I will tell the viewers is that you're an independent consultant, valuer and dealer

'with 25 years experience who simply loves Coronation Street. And we used to work together.'

I love Coronation Street. 'See?'

And I know you're a huge fan of Shaun's now

and I love Coronation Street, so we know where we're going. Yeah, yeah.

It don't get better than this, all right? 'Here, here!

'But Shaun and Vicky might be a while yet. They're having some slight bubble with the car.'

So the one on the left is a clutch.

Oh. Right, we're in gear. Right.

Thunderbirds are go. SHE LAUGHS

THUNDERBIRDS THEME PLAYS

'Thank goodness for that! It would've been a short show otherwise.

'So how do our actors think they might cope with the world of antiques?'

Is it Chipperfield, or was that a circus? That's a circus, isn't it?

Is it? God, we're going to be useless. Oh, it's going to be grim.

Yeah, is this a genuine David Chipperfield table? SHE LAUGHS

'Both of today's soap-soaked teams

'have ?400 to spend on their road trip,

'which will take them from Hemingfield, across South Yorkshire,

'before going up and round the beautiful North Yorkshire Dales

'and then taking the long road back down south to auction,

'140 miles away in Birmingham.'

This looks rather nice.

Hello there! Hello!

There we go. That's some chariot you've brought. It is.

Oh, this is very nice, isn't it? We've only just learnt how to open the doors.

THEY LAUGH So have we gravitated into teams, by any chance?

I think we... I... Yes. We might've done.

Mark, see you there. Good luck. We're going to the same shop! Oh, we are!

I'm going to see you soon! Get in the car.

They've got the fast car. We need to go first.

'With the teams decided and Paul and Shaun just about fitting in the Triumph,

'it leaves me to say...' Oh, I've never seen a knob do that before.

'Hm. ..ladies and gentlemen, start your engines!'

It's like the Blues Brothers.

'First out into the stunning South Yorkshire countryside are Vicky and Mark.'

Are you competitive, Vicky? I even get competitive in Cluedo.

No! Yeah, I try and look in the envelope when no-one's looking.

Oh, you... Oh, that's cheating. Well, yeah.

That's not competitive. But I'm liking it.

SHE LAUGHS 'Cheeky!

'Not too far behind are Shaun and Paul.'

Right then, Shaun, it's me and you in a classic car

on a mission to buy antiques.

Is this uncharted territory or...

Just when I thought life couldn't get any stranger.

THEY LAUGH

But I think what we'll do is try and work as a pair.

Yeah. And I will be blunt.

If you pick up things that are signed by a well-known artist

that I refer to called C Rap... SHE LAUGHS

..I will be telling you that that is not acceptable.

'That's her told, then. The teams are going just over a mile down the road

'to Elsecar, home to Elsecar Heritage Centre. First through the doors are Vicky and Mark.'

After you, my dear. Oh, thank you, you gentleman.

Oh, well, I try, you know? Oh, God, I feel lost already.

Cabinets everywhere.

'With dozens of dealers over two huge floors,

'getting lost is going to be easy, Mark.

'Vicky and Mark will need to be quick round the cabinets

'to exploit their head start over the boys.'

And they're on our tail here.

'They certainly are.'

They're bric-a-brac and then buy more. Exactly.

What's this here? 'Vicky spots something sweet.'

That's a sugar caster, I think.

'And so does Mark.' Oh, I don't think it's quite my colour.

Do you know... They could've done very well in Brighton.

I thought that was an old one but it isn't. That's another sugar shaker. I'm into my sugar shakers.

I can see that! I can see you're... Shake your sugar.

That's quite fun, isn't it? It's a little Meissen dish.

'In 1710, the Meissen company was the first European firm

'to successfully copy the Chinese method of producing porcelain.

'It's still in business today and its famous trademark of two crossed swords

'is believed to be one of the oldest in existence.'

That's rather nice, you know? Let's get that.

And if nobody buys it, we can just put olives in it and...

Oh, hark at you!

'Ticketed at ?34, that's one item put aside

'before Shaun and Paul even get there.

'They might even manage a second before the boys arrive.'

I love that. 'Vicky loves visiting churches,

'so this stained glass is right up her street.'

It's really pretty, isn't it? I think it's gorgeous.

I love stained glass. I just think it's so pretty,

and the way that it's made, it's such an art form.

Are they here or not? They're here.

Can you see them? They're here.

How much is it? Well, it's... 135, was it?

135. It's a lot of money, isn't it? It's quite a lot of money.

HE LAUGHS

It looks like it could be a painting. HE LAUGHS

If that was going into the auction we're going to,

they'd probably estimate it something like ?80 to ?120. Really?

So we'll need to get it down a bit. Yeah.

But you don't see a lot of them. I think it's really nice, actually.

'This glass dates from the late 19th century.

'It's Pre-Raphaelite in style. They were a Victorian art movement

'who took their inspiration from the early Renaissance.'

I love it. I like the fact that your eyes lit up when you saw it.

Yeah, I think she's really bonny, really sweet.

There they are. Are they carrying... Look at that.

Let's sneak up and see what they're talking about.

Can you pop that with our other items? Certainly, yes. Thank you very much.

Hello. Oh! Quick, hide it!

Have you spent any money? We're being very tactful.

We've got a few things on hold.

Five or six at least, at the moment. What?

Is that because you got here an hour before us cos you put sugar in our petrol tank?

Now, off with you! Carry on! Good luck. Have fun. Good luck.

You're going to need it.

'But will they need it?

'Boxing fan Shaun seems a bit of an expert on one of the items.'

I can spy Frank Bruno and Henry Cooper. There's boxing stuff up here.

Tell me about it. I mean, there's some lovely stuff of Henry Cooper.

Unfortunately, I've got a lot of stuff like this, so it's beautiful

and it's worth what someone's wanting to pay for it, but I think there's so much of it,

you'd only make a fiver profit. OK. Tenner profit.

But I'd love to get hold of a piece of boxing memorabilia to auction.

'A nice bit of expertise from our celeb there.

'But it still leaves them empty-handed.

'Over in the other corner, it's Mark and Vicky's final round. Ding-ding, seconds out.

'They're going for the Meissen dish and the stained glass.

'Both items belong to local dealer Carl Masters.

'Can they box clever and get a knock-down on the glass?'

Erm, you've got a reasonable-ish sum on it. What could you do on that one?

Purely because my beautiful daughters are massive fans... Oh! ..of the street

and they'd murder me if the other team win. Ooh! This is looking hopeful.

Oh, I knew that programme would come in handy one day. So I'll treat you.

'The Corrie connection is coming up trumps already.'

A price of 135.

I'll do that at ?80 for you. Ooh!

'Stay calm, Vicky. You're supposed to negotiate, girl!'

And what about the little dish?

Er, the little Meissen dish,

er, 34 the price.

I'll do it at 20. So 100 for the two? 100 for the two.

So that stands a reasonable chance. Mm.

If I was very cheeky, Carl, and said 90, would that be possible or not?

I don't want to push you unnecessarily,

but if we could get it for 90, we'd be over the moon, wouldn't we?

What about if I said I'll give you that lovely little anointing spoon brooch?

Oh, gosh. Solid silver. I've not dated it, but it's clearly hallmarked at the back.

'And a freebie, too. Carl's daughter must be a big fan.'

Yeah, that's sweet. And it is hallmarked, actually.

And it's a little brooch. Yeah. It's quite unusual. It is.

This is the Jubilee mark, 1935.

Shall we do that? ?100 including that.

I love you. Thank you very much, Carl.

Thanks, Carl. My daughters will love me if you win. Give him a little hug.

They'll love this. Ohh!

'There's one for the Masters' family album.' We're so going to win!

'So, that's the dish, spoon and the stained glass for 100 smackers

'and one big smacker from Vicky.' Ooh. Ooh!

Mwah! Honestly, it's like Blind Date here.

Hey, sod the antiques!

'Shaun and Paul are still on the hunt for their first item

'and Paul's spotted something that's definitely got legs.'

Where is Shaun? Yeah?

I'm going to blow your mind. 'There's a promise.' OK.

A turnover-top tea table. Very gentile.

Ta-da! OK?

And I'll wager this turns... Yeah.

So you turn that 90 degrees and open it out.

So it closes up, that can sit at the side of the room.

Period, William IV, 1830, 1840.

Yeah? Proper antique.

But this... Well, at this period, many are on columns, little pillars,

and platform bases.

This, with this wonderful horseshoe-like support...

Does that do anything? In any way, is that...

I really love it and I love when it folds out. It's beautiful.

'I'm not sure a turnover-top table constitutes mind-blowing, but Shaun is impressed.

'Can they reduce the already reduced ticket price of ?250?'

I'm wondering if the guy wants to see the back of that.

I wonder if they're slacking that price yet.

'Only one way to find out. Ask the dealer. Yes, it's Corrie fan Carl.'

Carl, good to see you. It is in the sale at 250.

But I'll do it at 150. 150? Yep.

And that's the death? I don't want this Coronation Street nonsense

to sway you. My daughters are avid fans, so...

'But don't count Shaun out yet.'

He's going to make a play. Carl, there's...

There's seven crisp 20s there. PAUL LAUGHS

I'm not even going to argue. Really? 140? 140.

Oh, thank you very much. I'm a traitor to Coronation Street now.

My daughters will murder me.

PAUL LAUGHS Thank you very much indeed.

You've got us off to a great start. Thank you very much, Carl. Bless you.

'Vicky and Mark are already on their way to their next shop,

'just two and a half miles up the road in Wentworth.

'But for Corrie fanatic Mark,

'it's still a chance to find out more about one of his favourite characters, Janice Battersby.'

How much of Janice is in Vicky?

Well, when I first started, I used to think very little,

you know, we're completely different people.

But then after a while of playing her,

I kind of started merging into her, which I didn't like.

HE LAUGHS You know? And became, according to my husband, very argumentative,

very opinionated, erm, and loud.

And we'd watch it and he'd go, "Oh, I recognise that tone of voice."

You know what I mean? And I think he's much happier

that Janice has kind of been put to bed.

'Ah, we love you as you are, Vicky.

'And so, hopefully, will the people at Wentworth Antiques,

'Jan Sweeting and David Smith.'

Now, if you see anything that you like, don't be frightened to tell me, will you? Right.

More cabinets.

Not quite so crammed this time, are they?

'Mark spots something that might just raise the spirits when they go to auction in Birmingham.'

Ooh, now, that's interesting.

It says there something from Birmingham.

1872. We're selling in Birmingham.

They might like it. They might like that. Let's have a look.

This here? Yes, please. What have we got here?

A keepsake from Birmingham.

May 5th, 1872. Wow.

'This neat little hip flask used to be silver-plated,

'but it's worn away over the years.'

Leather embossed. ?45. Hm.

It's quite a bit, really. So that comes off.

Ah! So then when you pour your nip in there,

you can use it as a glass. Really? That's got to be worth ?40 on its own. Yes.

Even without the top flask. SHE YAWNS

HE SIGHS Can you put it at the counter?

You see, I like this. 'I like it, too.

'It's a very fetching three-piece Art Deco tea set.'

Yeah, I like that. Cos you like a cup of tea, don't you?

Mm, I do like a cup of tea. This is silver plate.

But isn't... Now, what shape is that?

Art Deco? That's why I like it. I'm leaving.

You don't need me. My work here is done. Bye, Mark.

SHE LAUGHS

'The Art Deco style dates from the 20s,

'and like this tea set, uses straight lines and geometric shapes.'

But it is really nice, isn't it? It's a pretty shape, isn't it?

And this is faux ivory. 'Also known as Bakelite.'

But, again, I think it would probably be estimated at ?40 to ?60. How much is it?

85. 85. Oh, gosh.

Expensive, isn't it? Do you like it, though?

Ah. I don't know if I like it that much. Really?

Well, I do like it, but I think if we're not going to get the 85 back,

we can't go there, can we? Well, it's only an estimate of 40 to 60.

It might well... And then if I went round kissing everybody again...

We might get 20 or 30. SHE LAUGHS

'Nothing else seems to be tickling their fancy,

'so it's down to business on the spirit flask and the tea set.'

Hello, we're back. Hello!

'First up, it's the flask, and Mark is using Vicky

'as his excuse for a cheeky offer of ?10.'

This is Coronation Street versus EastEnders. Is it? Yeah.

We need to know where your loyalties lie. OK. So it's... North versus south.

'And now they're appealing to their northern loyalty. Shameless!

'Wait, that's a different show, isn't it?' What do you think?

If we were going to buy this, as well...

I mean, it is a very striking piece.

At ?85... Look at me when I'm talking to you.

That is a great price. It is. Because it's for Vicky...

Ohh! You big meanie!

Coronation Street. That's right, for Corrie, yeah.

?55. THEY GASP

You can't believe how cheap it is. Did he actually say what I thought he said?

Yeah. I think if we said 55 for the two, that'd be lovely.

Oh, that would be great.

I would love you. Cos I think there's a chance of a profit.

And there'll be a cuddle all round, really. Yeah, and a kiss.

Yeah. Yeah. And even one from Vicky.

THEY LAUGH Have we got any tablets here?

THEY LAUGH Are you feeling ill?

'Wait a minute! Is that Jim Bowen behind the counter?'

We would be happy with that.

Thank you. Go on.

Let me give you a cuddle. Cos she's going to give him one.

'So, with another big smacker dished out,

'it's time to dish out the big smackers.

'?10 for the spirit flask and ?45 for the Art Deco tea set.'

Thank you very much.

I don't know about you, but I need a sit down and a cup of tea. So do I.

Thank you very much. Thank you! You're welcome.

Wasn't that amazing?

'The boys have now finished up in Elsecar

'and are heading 11 miles east

'to Cusworth Hall outside Doncaster

'where there's a special surprise for boxing fan Shaun.'

And you've boxed in your youth? I boxed for the Royal Navy.

I just felt that I needed to find out what it was like to get into a boxing ring

if I was going to watch other people beating each other up. Yeah.

So you can feel the punches yourself now when you're watching it.

Yeah. And when people say to me now, "Do you get nervous before you go on the stage?"

it's nothing compared to waiting to go into a boxing ring.

The worst thing that can happen in the theatre

is that somebody rustles a bag of sweets on the front row. PAUL LAUGHS

'The majestic Cusworth Hall is an 18th century Grade-I listed building

'which now hosts the Museum of South Yorkshire Life.

'Paul and Shaun have come here to meet local historian Giles Brearley

'who managed to track down a lost piece of art featuring a hero of the noble art.'

I understand you're very interested in a very famous Yorkshire heavyweight boxer.

I am indeed. The great Iron Hague.

Well, we've actually got a few little treats in store

regarding Iron and his career, if you want to follow me. Can't wait. Thank you very much.

'Over 100 years ago,

'James William "Iron" Hague

'was a real-life Rocky who came from nothing

'to become English heavyweight champion

'and to fight the best in the world.

'He was a local hero to the thousands of ordinary people who lived in South Yorkshire

'and earned a fortune before giving much of it away and returning to obscurity.'

And there he is. This is the man himself.

Wow. It's a great picture, isn't it? Yeah, lovely picture.

So who would've commissioned this picture?

Er, National Sporting Club would commission the picture.

Every heavyweight champion that they had had their portrait done.

'Due to a dispute in the boxing world, this painting of him

'by H Lancaster was thought to be lost forever

'until Giles started doing some research into Hague's life for a book.

'And what a life it was. Hague came from Mexborough,

'a nearby mining town when mining was one of the worst paid

'and most dangerous jobs in the country.

'But boxing offered a way out. First fighting for his colliery

'and then in a travelling fair before becoming town champ

'and then county champ, he was offered a crack at the English heavyweight title in London

'against Gunner Moir in 1909

'and was given a tremendous local send-off.'

And, of course, in those days when there wasn't this instant...

You know, you couldn't watch it on telly, there was no mobile phone use...

What the people did, as the fight was on the next day,

the people went up to the telegraph office on the high street,

and at ten o'clock at night, the street was full of people

all round the telegraph office waiting for the telegraph to come up

with the result, and when the result came up,

the whole town cheered.

Can I... pick those gloves up?

Of course. Am I allowed to? Of course.

Don't tell me these are the actual ones... These are the actual gloves

that put Gunner Moir down in 1909.

'Hague lost his title in 1911,

'having earned over ?1 million in today's currency.

'He spent his fortune on his family and on good causes.

'It's said he bought shoes for barefoot children he saw in the street.

'In 1914, he joined the Grenadier Guards

'but was gassed at the Somme.

'His later years were dogged by ill health,

'but he did, however, live to be a grandfather, as this picture shows.

'And Giles has a surprise in store for Shaun.'

Are any of the grandchildren still alive.

Erm, yes. Actually, Jeanette. I would like to take you to meet Jeanette.

What, now? Yeah, yeah, come on. Really?

Yes. This baby? This baby, yes.

Jeanette's here. She's sat outside. We'll go and have a natter with her.

Yes, please. THEY LAUGH

Wow. Is that them there? Yeah, over here.

I've just seen a picture of you as a baby and you haven't changed a bit. THEY LAUGH

Have you got any memories of him? Oh, yeah! Really? Yeah.

I've got memories of him giving us threepence and saying,

"Go get some chips." That's a proper granddad, that is.

'But what about that painting? Well, Iron Hague might have remained

'only in the memory of his family and local boxing fans

'if it weren't for that detective work by Giles.'

We lost the portrait

many, many years ago

and it was only by speaking to Giles

that I said it was down London and we couldn't find it

and he said, "Do you want it back?" and I said, "Yes."

And he did all the spade work

to get that portrait back. Where did you trace it to?

I tracked it down... Barry McGuigan was a great help in tracking it down

and we found him in storage in Croydon.

So I managed to, erm, persuade the people

that it was still the family property,

it wanted to be returned back to South Yorkshire, to his home and to the museum, so they agreed.

'Cusworth Hall was only too happy to give the painting pride of place

'and ensure future generations of visitors

'will now know the story of Iron Hague.'

You've got that beautiful portrait hanging up in that beautiful house,

so what can you say? The Iron Hague, gone but never forgotten.

Never. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

'It's been an opening day of purchases and pugilism here is South Yorkshire,

'and with both our teams feeling a bit punch drunk,

'it's time to say nighty-night.

'It's another day in paradise, well, Yorkshire, actually,

'for our soap-studded, star-studded duos,

'and Shaun seems quite taken by the antiques game.'

Do you think you could do it full-time? I'd like to

because it's just a lovely life, isn't it?

The life of the antique dealer. It'd be nice mincing around the Yorkshire Dales.

A bit of a Lovejoy? In an open-top sports car.

SHE LAUGHS Yeah, a Cockney Lovejoy.

I suppose, like anything, it's a lifetime of knowledge and expertise.

'And with Paul's lifetime of knowledge and expertise to rely upon,

'team Williamson spent a hefty ?140 on one item,

'a William IV mahogany tea table.

'Vicky and Mark spent a miserly ?155 on four items,

'a 19th Pre-Raphaelite-style stained-glass panel

'depicting winter at ?80,

'a Victorian silver-plated and leather spirit flask for ?10,

'a 19th century spoon tray costing ?20

'and a lovely little Art Deco three-piece tea set for a very agreeable ?45.'

Mark is a right case. It's like Carry On Antiques when we get together.

He's Kenneth Williams, I'm Babs Windsor. HE LAUGHS

But, no, he is fun.

'So, our teams are getting on well.

'But with only one item purchased yesterday, the pressure is on Paul and Shaun.

'Having crossed South Yorkshire yesterday,

'today will take both our teams through the beautiful Dales of North Yorkshire,

'starting off in the historic spa town of Harrogate.

'Harrogate's health-giving waters were discovered in the 16th century

'and it's been a popular tourist destination for over 300 years.

'In 1982, it hosted the Eurovision Song Contest

'and the winner that year was German teenager Nicole with A Little Peace.

'All together now!' # Just a little loving, a little giving

# For our tomorrow, a little peace

'Vicky and Mark picked up a few little pieces yesterday,

'so they can relax. But Paul and Shaun need to get going.'

You all right? How are you? Are you all fixed? Yeah.

They seem quietly confident. Yeah!

We had a very successful day yesterday. We were happy.

We managed to bag a few items, didn't we?

And, of course, they absolutely... I'm amazed, they love Coronation Street up here.

THEY LAUGH We're up north, you see? My manor.

We're going to have to film a rematch in the East End.

THEY LAUGH

All right, have a good one. Yes!

We're not in a panic, are we? Are we heck! We're chilled.

I think we need to go and find a cup of tea, you know? Let's go to Betty's Tea Room. Should we?

In the bag, they think? Yeah. Well, it ain't over yet!

We're going to prove them wrong, buddy!

We've got a leisurely day ahead.

I'm going to read the papers, have a nice cup of tea

and a fondant fancy.

Ooh, I do like a nice fondant fancy. SHE LAUGHS

'After they've sampled the local cakes,

'Mark and Vicky don't have far to go for their first shop,

'just a couple of miles up the road to Pannal and the Harrogate Antiques Centre.'

I love this job. You've got the best job in the world.

At times it's wonderful, isn't it?

I must admit, driving a luxury car with a leg end...

SHE LAUGHS With a leg end!

I tend to say icon.

Here we are, antiques and vintage.

'And here to meet them at Harrogate Antiques is David Wilding.'

I'm Mark. I'm David. Nice to meet you, David.

This is Vicky. Hi, Vicky. How are you? You all right?

'It's a big space with a lot to look at.'

Keep looking and shout if you see anything. I will.

SHE GASPS That'd be wonderful!

There's so much in here that I want to look at it all,

but I can't see the wood for the trees. What do you think of this?

'Oh, I don't think it's his colour, unfortunately, Vicky.

'Or his size.' Yeah.

Goes with your complexion. And you can put these round, you know,

to tie you a little bit tighter. 'I told you so.' Yes.

Where have you gone? Oh, there you are. Oh, aren't you little?

'Stop messing about, you two! There's antiques to buy and the clock is ticking.'

There's a little, erm, a little dish round here.

There it is. Where? It's like a little love 'art.

Yeah. A love 'art? It's ?76, though. Yeah, but it doesn't mean we have to pay that.

Birmingham, 1898. Birmingham, you see? It's the Birmingham theme.

But a lot of... It's the Brummie theme. I like it. Do you like it? I love it.

David, could I have a look at this little dish, please? The love 'art. The love 'art.

SHE LAUGHS

Erm... I really like that. I think it's dead sweet. OK.

Well, then give it to Dave and let's see what we can get.

'David phones Roman, the dish's owner, to do a deal.'

Tell him it's Janice Battersby. It's Janice Battersby.

'And Mark's keen to exploit Vicky's home ground.'

Have a word with her and see what you can negotiate.

Roman. Hello!

I'm all right, Roman, thanks. Are you?

I'm in love with this little tray. I think it's gorgeous. Er, ?76 you've got it on for.

'Mark's told Vicky to go for an ambitious ?20 to ?30.'

You've shocked him. We have to make a profit and beat EastEnders.

35?

But I like even numbers.

He's saying he likes even numbers.

I mean.... 36, he says.

THEY LAUGH

Right, 32.

Right, I will. 32, that's lovely. We'll have that.

Thank you.

Have a great day. See you later. Bye!

Ahh! 32 quid. And that is less than half price. Give me a hug.

'Result! Well done, Vicky! She's secured a bon-bon dish for ?32,

'a possible companion for the silver spoon brooch Carl gave them yesterday.'

Well... I'm really pleased with what we've got.

Yeah, I'm really pleased we found that last item.

We? Yeah. I found that, I.

Oh, you're playing that game, are you? All right. Thanks.

Don't take the credit for all my hard work. It's unbelievable.

I thought we were a team. Priceless, honestly.

Vicky Entwistle. Priceless.

'It wasn't priceless, it was ?32.

'Meanwhile, Paul and Shaun are heading from Harrogate

'all through the Dales to Pateley Bridge, 16 miles away.

'And it's a chance for Paul to find out more about Shaun's career post-EastEnders.'

Being in a soap opera for ten years, it does typecast you.

So when Ricky Gervais phoned me up and said, "Do you want to be in my new series, Extras?"

"Yes, I'd love to. What's the name of my character?" "Barry from EastEnders."

PAUL LAUGHS

But everybody who agreed to be in that show did it with very good grace.

Some very famous people. Yeah! Yeah.

Ben Stiller, Samuel L Jackson.

Astonishing. You know, er... Kate Winslet!

Kate Winslet. Robert De Niro.

'Yep, we had all of them on standby if you and Vicky weren't available, Shaun.

'Maybe next series, eh? But before then,

'there's the sweet little town of Pateley Bridge to visit.

'It's home to the oldest sweet shop in England,

'conveniently named The Oldest Sweet Shop In England.

'Whoever took a gamble on that name is a genius. Or psychic.

'With no time to waste, the boys hit the streets.'

I'm looking forward to this. I've got the bit between my teeth.

'Crows Nest Antiques is run by the lovely Linda Hanby

'and her rather quiet husband, Chris.' You OK? I'm Shaun.

Hi, I'm Linda. Pleased to meet you. I'm Paul. Hi, I'm Linda. Good to see you.

'With no time to waste, can Linda point them in the right direction?'

Are you looking for something big or something small?

A big purchase? I'm looking for something with profit in it.

What about something like this?

This is a lovely gentleman's case.

Yeah. These are silver. Silver-topped. Mm-hm.

Here, this has got the original... Yep. ..inkwells. Yep.

Wow. That's the original. That's incredible.

'This stylish and ingenious Edwardian gentleman's case

'was designed with compartments to contain all a gent may need on his travels,

'from toiletry bottles to some boot hooks to help you get your boots on.'

I can do that probably for... Let me see.

Erm... 130. What does your heart tell you abut that?

I think it's a beautiful thing and I can see why somebody would want it.

And it's just in a fabulous leather case.

So you've got some really nice... For me to sleep easy...

..it'd have to be 80.

Cos it's got to make 100 under the hammer,

and that's what it might do at auction.

I think if you shook my hand at 90,

then we'd have a deal. Over to you, boss.

Yeah, I'd like to buy it at 90.

I think we've a deal! HE LAUGHS

Thank you very much. Smiles all round. Thanks, Linda.

'?90 for the travel case and now Linda's got a handle on her customers' tastes.'

Following the sort of gentleman's route, how about something like this?

I've got a weakness for vintage spectacles.

19th century. Ring terminals, telescopic arms.

Come on, big man! Good evening, viewers!

THEY LAUGH 'The boys are keen to make spectacles of themselves

'and Linda has a few more for them to try.' So, I've got these.

And then if you are into will.i.am...

HE LAUGHS

..then, erm, look at those.

'I'm not sure who this will.i.am is,

'but I can tell you these glasses were designed for shooting.'

What can the three sets of spectacles be?

How about ?55?

You're going to shake my hand on that, you really are.

'Paul not haggling? Is that some kind of mind trick Linda has just pulled?

'They've still got money to spend, though. So, can he get his haggling mojo back on some other items?'

That is really a pleasing decanter.

It's the silver collar that does it for me.

It has a problem and it's this.

Blooming. And that's actually there forever.

Oh, really? It's a chemical reaction. It's not dust.

'Blooming is a discolouration which can occur

'on the inside surface of decanters

'and it becomes invisible when the glass has water in it,

'which Linda is just about to help demonstrate.

'And, as if by magic, ta-da!'

Tell me it worked. There you go, look at that.

Et voila! Wow. It did!

What a transformation! What do you think of that? All gone.

Extraordinary. Price went up again. HE LAUGHS

Er, I have no idea what I've got on this. 85.

So I think, erm...

..60. I'm going to haggle on this. I didn't with the glasses.

SHE SIGHS I am. Erm, I'm going to offer you 45.

Hm. 50?

I'd be happy paying 50 for it. Lovely.

Fantastic. There you go, Linda.

Thank you. Thank you very much. PAUL LAUGHS

'So, with the temporarily blemish-free decanter for ?50...'

There we go, there's that. Lovely. Thank you very much. Thank you very much indeed.

'..that means the boys have given Linda ?195 in total,

'leaving ?65 for the final item.

'Vicky and Mark are now all done shopping,

'and as Vicky is a big fan of churches,

'they've come 19 miles down the road to Ripon.

'They're visiting one of the area's most stunning chapels

'which has a tragic story behind its construction.

'Christ The Consoler Church was commissioned in 1871

'by Lady Mary Vyner as a tribute to her son Frederick,

'who was kidnapped and killed by Greek bandits before a ransom could be paid.

'The ransom money was then used to help build the church

'and here to explain more is Rosie Lister of the church's conservation trust.'

Freddie was 23, he was at Oxford, he was a member of the Bullingdon Club,

he was a very elegant young man, having the time of his life

and he went with quite a notable group of friends,

including Lord and Lady Muncaster,

across to Greece as tourists

and they were captured by Greek brigands... Ooh. ..and held hostage.

Can I show you his picture? Yes. Yeah.

So, there he is. Oh, he looks very dapper.

Isn't he wonderful, wearing his sort of white linen summer suit?

'Freddie's mother, Lady Mary Vyner, raised over ?1 million ransom in today's money.

'But the story goes political negotiations faltered

'and Freddie also refused to be exchanged for a servant who offered to take his place.'

The really heart-rending thing is that this was his last diary entry,

so he was sitting there with his friends knowing what was going to happen and he writes,

"We must trust to God that we may die bravely as Englishmen should do."

Gosh. I think I'm going to cry. 'So as a tribute to Lady Vyner's murdered son,

'the money was used to commission Cardiff Castle's architect, William Burgess,

'to build a chapel in the same Victorian high-Gothic style.

'The churchyard was designed by Burgess as a memorial garden

'and dozens of weeping birches and willows surround it.

'Even Freddie's old dog appears in the sculptures, waiting for his master to return.

'But it's inside the building that the real splendour of Burgess's design appears.

'The beauty of the church and the sadness of the story are proving too much for Vicky.'

Hey, why are you being so weepy? I don't know.

I just think it's lovely.

'Burgess's design is full of visual references inspired by Freddie's fate.'

Do you think, you know, with it being birds and butterflies,

that they're saying that he's free, that he's flown away?

I think there is that whole kind of nature and heaven and otherworldliness,

I think that's all to do with that. And there is a message along here,

which is basically, the story is that it's in code,

and we are led to believe Lady Mary actually wanted to have it put here

as a private message to her son. Oh. The ultimate, sort of, goodbye from her. Gosh.

Vicky, why are you so emotional in these churches?

I don't know. It's not a religious thing at all. I'm not religious.

I just feel... I mean, I know I might look sad but I feel really happy.

I just love stained-glass windows, I love the architecture and the carvings and the stonemasonry.

I just find it so loving,

and this story is particularly... Poignant, I think,

because a young man in the prime of his life died. Yeah.

But then, this is a lasting testimony to it.

And it's wonderful that you're carrying on the work

of protecting and keeping this open so we can all come and look at it.

Thank you so much for showing us around. Thank you very much for coming.

Thank you. I'm really happy. I think. THEY LAUGH

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you so much. Bye-bye. Bye.

'So, there you are, a church that is both a colourful celebration of life and a testament to tragedy.

'On that rather sombre note, it's time for a gear change.

'Let's see how Paul and Shaun are getting on.'

I've got the trunk, the spectacles and the decanter.

And do you know what? I'm really, really confident now.

Happy and confident. We're on fire, Shaun. We're on fire!

'There's still time for another item so it's 14 miles back up the road to Pannal,

'and, yes, Harrogate Antiques and David Wilding again.'

Here we go. Last stop.

No pressure. No pressure.

Other than I expect you to find the next amazing buy. Ah.

'And as the other team found out, a shop this big can be overwhelming.

'But thankfully, David is still on hand to help out.'

It looks like a happy hunting ground, this. It's a nice place.

Yeah, there's certainly plenty of stuff here.

We've got 65 quid to spend. There's got to be something in here

that can we get for 65 that we can auction for 100.

Can you hear that?

What is it? It's a clock ticking.

Don't. Thank you.

I think the time is right for Shaun to...

..put to good use the good training he's had over the last day and a half.

His apprenticeship is served. HE LAUGHS

I want something different. I want something different from anything that we've got.

You can tell instantly with Paul if you've picked up something of interest,

and it's not a mean thing that these experts do,

they just instantly know that you've picked up a piece of old tat, really.

Collars.

Sorry?

I'll take that as a no. It doesn't matter.

My interest in this is I haven't got a clue what it is.

'Come on, Shaun, you're an EastEnder. Where's that Blitz spirit gone?'

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.

'Shaun's failed in his search, so it's up to Paul to save the day.

'Our military expert has spotted some crested China.'

Dead in the water.

So why am I telling you about these? There's one area in particular that's picked up.

Military. We've got the military thing here.

We're looking at...

..an artillery shell.

And they're really picking up in value. I'm seeing some great results.

Now, granted, this isn't rare, this is entry-level, it's not a rare thing.

Arguably military, just at a push, is a bell tent. Yes.

That's the standard camping tent of the British Army for a century, the 19th.

Maybe we could put a little cluster together and squeeze something out of it.

'The owner of the china is David himself.

'Sports fan Shaun has seen another small piece he'd like.' The Hambledon Cricket jug.

'But Paul's not convinced.' Do we need the cricket?

Does that muddy the water? Do we just go in and say,

"Two pieces of First World War period crested china" and that's it?

All about the military angle. This muddies the water.

'David's going to help you make that decision.'

If you buy those, you can have that free.

How much are those? That's ?8, and that's ?5 free.

'That's a very generous offer, David.

'But can the boys squeeze any more out of the deal?'

It's up to you.

OK, well, we'll go with that, then, thank you. Job done. 'That'll be a no, then.'

Thank you. There's some money for you.

Get some change and thank you, there's the money. Thank you. Cheers.

'So that's three pieces of crested china for ?8 and a freebie each for both teams.

'That's Paul and Shaun now done for the day.

'It's time to meet up with Vicky and Mark by the river for a reveal.'

Come on, let's have a look. Ready?

BOTH: Ohhhhh!

Oh! 'Mark doesn't exactly seem swept away.'

Well, there's some job lots. Job lots!

You're going to have to open this. Shall I? Please. Quick shufti.

Oh, good Lord. Edwardian. Yeah, absolutely.

Everything the travelling gentleman would need. That pulls out. Oh, wonderful.

Very impressed. Expensive?

I don't think so. What would be expensive? I don't know. A couple of hundred. 90.

Oh, well, 90 is all right, isn't it? That's great, actually. And your table...

No? It does have a nice base. But if you paid more than...

..more then 150 for it, you're straggling. HE LAUGHS

140. 140. Oh, so there might be a ?10 profit in it, then. And the other bits are quite fun.

'Paul and Shaun think they might have some profits in their sights.

'But what do they think of the items Mark and Vicky have targeted?'

I love... I saw the leaded glass. That is a gorgeous object anywhere.

How much did you get off? Well, actually, we paid 80 for it.

I think it's a magic thing.

Erm, I've got to ask, the Deco, is that silver?

I would love to say they were silver, and you would be worrying, you would be panicking.

I've been worrying! No, they are very good quality plate.

Great style. Great style, and I think there's a decorative arts theme in this sale, as well.

So maybe they'll fit in. Yeah, yeah. I think it's too close to call. I don't know how you feel.

'But how close are their overall spends?'

?343. Well done. We waded in. PAUL LAUGHS

I take my hat off to you.

'Vicky and Mark didn't quite match that.'

?187. Jessies! Oh!

Wusses! The next time I'm up against you, I'm going to remember that.

'Let's have some honest appraisals on the items, then.'

You sort of seemed to agree that they were all... I am polite by nature. ..contenders.

Really? Really? HE LAUGHS

I think... Do you think that suitcase is going to stitch us up?

That is a real winner. But I'm still pleased. He loves your stained-glass panel.

The glass pane has got to do ?100 to make anything, hasn't it?

I wouldn't swap. HE LAUGHS

How are you feeling now? I feel great.

'So at the end of day two, Vicky and Mark don't seem quite as confident as they did this morning.

'With the reveals done, both teams are now heading over 140 miles south

'to the halfway point between the street and the square.

'You could even call it a Crossroads.

'Ha! It's Birmingham.'

I'll tell you what's going to be the dazzler today.

It's the reaction. Oh, yes. Vicky and Shaun. I think we'll have a ball.

There's two of us walking in the auction house, only one walking out.

I mean, you know, if this was medieval times, we'd have to have a duel.

Or you could nominate someone.

If you were a coward, you can actually go up... I'd nominate Mark.

Yeah, and I nominate Paul, there you go. Yeah, there you go.

It's going to be a fabulous day. I'm really looking forward to it.

Yeah, absolutely. And may the best soap win.

THEY LAUGH

'Today's auctioneers are Biddle Webb,

'who've been carrying out auctions in Birmingham since the late 50s.

'Today's auctioneer is Liz Winnicott. Good name.

'Has she seen anything from our teams that she thinks might do some good business?'

I think most of the items they've chosen are very good.

We really like the stained-glass window item, it's very pretty, it's very much in genre at the moment.

The suitcase is actually one of my personal favourite items.

I think it's good fun, I love the labels on the outside of it,

giving it its provenance, where it's been, imagining where it's travelled around the world.

I think generally, overall, they've done well.

Possibly Paul Laidlaw may sneak a win.

'Obviously an EastEnders fan.'

Good morning. Hello. Hello! Let me help you.

Oh! Are you all right?

How are you doing? You're such a gent, Mark. I know.

I thought I'd better show it on camera. Shall we do this thing? I think we should.

'So, to recap, both teams started the trip with ?400,

'and team Williamson has spent a substantial ?343 on five lots.

'Team Entwistle, however, have hedged their bets.

'They've spent a much smaller ?187 also buying five lots.

'So with both teams well scrubbed-up and phone and internet bidders ready to go,

'it's time for the battle of the soaps!

'First item is Mark and Vicky's Meissen porcelain spoon tray.

'Is it going to serve up a profit or stir up trouble?'

Lovely thing. ?30, then. ?30. Who'll start me off at ?30?

?20? Who's at ?20?

Oh, I've got ?20 on the internet. Pay attention. ?20 on the internet.

22 anywhere? I've got ?20 on the internet. ?22 anywhere?

?20 on the internet will have it. HAMMER BANGS

That was what you picked. Oh, thank you very much, Vicky.

'Already the blame game has started. It's only just broken even,

'and when auction costs come off, it'll actually be a loss.

'Not a great start, eh? First up, though, for Shaun and Mark

'is their military and sporting trio of small china items.

'But is three going to be their magic number?'

Pretty little lot. ?15? ?15? Who'll have a bit of memorabilia for ?15?

?10 then? 5? ?5? Who'll go for ?5?

It is bombing. 'Well, you'd know, Paul, you're the military expert.'

?5 at the back. Thank you. Yes! ?5 I have, ?5.

We're ?3 behind you. Ha, see, you laughed at me.

'Oh, dear, that's an even worse start than Mark and Vicky.

'Well, the only way is up.

'Is the Victorian hip flask from Birmingham

'going to raise the spirits of the locals?'

?20 for this one, then. Any interest at ?20?

?10, then? ?10. Keep you warm at night.

?10? 12 I've got now on the internet. ?12 on the internet.

15 anywhere? ?12 I have. Are we all done at ?12?

15. 15 behind me. 15 takes. 15 against the internet now.

What? ?15 behind me and I'll sell at 15.

Have you been bribing the staff? What do you mean?

It's a staff bid. 'Well, staff are allowed to bid,

'but it's hardly worth a bribe.

'By the time the auction costs come off that fiver profit,

'Vicky and Mark won't have enough for a dash of soda.

'Let's see if the Victorian decanter is worth raising a glass to.'

?50 to go. ?50. Any interest at ?50?

?50 I have. Thank you, sir. Come on! ?50 I have. 55 anywhere?

?50 I have. 55.

55 on the internet it is, then. ?55 on the internet.

I will sell at 55 if we're all done at 55.

It's hard work, this, Paul.

'Sadly, the decanter hasn't performed any better than the flask.

'They won't be toasting those items tonight.

'Next for Vicky and Mark, it's the bon-bon tray from Brum

'and the George V spoon brooch.'

That bon-bon dish is your item. I know. Let's see.

There we go, ?20 for this little lot. ?20? Any interest at 20?

20 I have. Thank you. 22. 25. 28. 30?

?28 with you. ?28 there. Looking for 30 now.

I have ?28 against the internet now in the room.

HE LAUGHS

She said, "Told you," I said, "We paid ?28!"

I thought we'd paid 22.

'Another loss. Not so much bon-bon as bad-bad.

'Whatever happened to local interest, eh?

'Next it's the gentleman's travelling case.

'The boys have high hopes of packing up a big profit on this one.'

?80. ?80 I have. ?80 I have.

85 anywhere? ?80 I have. 85?

85 with you now, sir. 85 with you.

85, it's back in the room, and selling at ?85, then.

The only consolation we've got is it's happening to us both. Yeah.

'It's left luggage for Paul and Shaun,

'but a great bargain for the buyer, eh? Right!

'Come on! Surely the lovely Art Deco tea set has got to make money.'

?40 for this one. ?40. Any interest at 40?

?40 for the tea set.

?30 then. Who'll give me ?30? It's Art Deco, it's stylish, ?30.

20 then. ?20?

Take you at... ?20 I have on the internet. Thank you. ?20.

22 now on the internet. ?22 on the internet.

25 I've got. 22 on the internet.

I'll sell at ?22 if we're all done?

I need a bloody Mary! 'I don't know about a bloody Mary.

'Anyway, that's the biggest loss of the day so far.

'Both teams are in desperate need of some profit now.

'Paul and Shaun are aiming for a profit

'with the shooting spectacles and the two sets of Georgian glasses.'

Here we go! Come on!

?40, any interest at 40? ?40?

A bit of social history. ?30?

?30 I have. 32 anywhere?

32. 35. 38.

40. 42. 45.

48. Are we finished now at ?45?

'Well, they didn't see that coming!

'Is anything from our teams going to get these Brummie bidders biting?

'Last for Vicky and Mark is the Pre-Raphaelite stained-glass panel

'of a wintery lady. Can it freeze their losses?'

I'm going to start this one at ?120. 120. Looking for 130.

I've got 120. 130. 140. 150. 'That's more like it!

'Straight in at 120 and shooting up the numbers!'

?180 on commission. Looking for 190 now.

I've got 180. 190 is back.

Listen to that. It's music to my ears.

200 still with me.

?200. Still with me on commission. Are we all done?

Well done. I was so glad I found that.

You can get lost! I found that.

'Ah, united in victory as well as defeat.

'That stunning profit has shot Mark and Vicky into the lead.'

Well done. I begrudgingly...

Don't thank him! It's me!

'By my calculations, Mark and Shaun's turnover table

'needs to make about ?150 profit to turn the tables on Vicky and Mark.'

What should we start at? ?300. Any interest at ?300?

250 to start. 250. Any interest at 250?

200, then. 'Oh, dear. Those numbers should be going up the other way.'

150. Shall we go 150? ?150 I have.

?150 I have. 160. 170. 180.

Now we're rocking! 190. Come on! 200.

No. 190 next to me.

200 anywhere before I sell at ?190?

'Is that too little too late?'

It's a profit. Well, you made a jolly good profit,

which I didn't think you were going to. Well done.

Does this mean we've won?

'Allow me, Vicky. Both teams started today with a fighting fund of ?400.

'Shaun and Paul spent nearly all of it and made a loss after auction fees of ?31.40,

'leaving them with a grand total of ?368.60.

'The more cautious Vicky and Mark spent less than half theirs,

'but that great profit on the stained glass

'meant that after auction costs they made an overall profit of ?46.70,

'leaving them, and Coronation Street,

'the battle of the soap winners on ?446.70.'

Right.

That was emotionally draining.

I'm exhausted, actually. I'm on a bit of a high, I'd say.

We were so close. I have every admiration for you and your skills. There's a lot of bad luck there.

Do you know what? I think we've had a hard, tough time with these two.

Oh, darling, it's been awful. And with my profits, I'll take you for lunch.

'What Vicky means to say is that all profits will, of course, be going to Children In Need.'

See you later. 'So they'll be toasting victory in the Rovers Return,

'and drowning their sorrows in the Queen Vic tonight.

'Me? I'll be down the Woolpack.'

'See you next time. Ta-ra.'

EASTENDERS THEME PLAYS

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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