Episode 5 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

Some of the nation's favourite celebrities...

Why have I got such expensive taste?

..one antiques expert each...

..and one big challenge -

who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices...

Answers on a postcard.

..and auction for a big profit further down the road?

We shake your hand and send you a big kiss for that.

Who will spot the good investments?

Who will listen to advice?

Do you like it? No, I think it's horrible.

Maybe not.

For today's show, we'll be travelling through the leafy lanes of Herefordshire

and through time, in the company of our two celebrities.

A Time Lord, Colin Baker, and Dr Who's one-time companion, Peter Purves.

This is going to be fun, I think.

Each will be given a classic car,

and antiques expert and ?400 to spend.

They must provide their own sonic screwdriver.

What is there not to look forward to?

Driving through leafy lanes with a television god... You're very kind!

..in search of antiquity.

Colin Baker was the sixth man to play Dr Who,

fighting Daleks and Cybermen across many millennia,

but mainly from 1984 to 1986.

How do you do? I am known as the Doctor.

ZZZAAAP!

Peter Purves played Steven Taylor,

companion to the first Dr Who, in 1965.

The one thing we must do - one very important thing -

before we leave is to make sure our animals are going to be as happy

as we're going to be when we're on holiday.

Ooh, get off me foot!

The first time I appeared on Blue Peter,

I was terrified.

No autocue, no safety net...

So, where did these two old pals meet -

battling sea monsters in the outer reaches of cyberspace, perchance?

I directed you in the pantomime. Of course you did!

We did Aladdin in Hayes in Middlesex.

And you were Wishee Washee and you were very funny.

And what part was I playing?

BOTH LAUGH

You're still very funny!

Do these old pals have the competitive spirit?

I think I am competitive. I mean, I'm going to win this.

No question about that.

It seems they do.

Our celebrity pair are off to meet another duo of experts

James has 25 years of experience in the antiques game.

He says that quality and design are what set his pulse racing.

And he has a penchant for a nice piece of jewellery.

Blood to the brain, blood to the brain... Right, I'm ready.

Will Axon was born in Newmarket

and wanted to be a jockey before he became an auctioneer.

He started his career valuing rugs, works of art

and furniture, and can spot a bargain anywhere.

There's a silver tankard down here.

Who are we on our way to meet, James?

Peter Purves, Colin Baker.

Oh, it's a Dr Who theme?

Ethereal, celestial...

Are they going to arrive in a TARDIS?

Oh, I hope so!

The very opposite, actually -

it's a 1970 Morris Minor,

smaller on the inside than on the outside.

That's why I like watching you act.

Oh! Oh, Peter!

Hello! Luvvy alert.

I'm looking forward to meeting my slim young blonde-haired...

antique assistant.

Well, good luck with that.

Our team will have two days travelling in Herefordshire

and Worcestershire, starting in Bishop's Frome.

They'll shop for items which they hope

will realise a handsome profit at the auction in Winchcombe.

At the agreed meeting point, there seems to have been some kind of rift in the space/time continuum.

In other words, our experts are late.

Look, Doctor, this can't go on.

What's happening?

Without the benefit of time travel, I haven't got a clue where they are.

about the subject we are entering into?

I bet they do! We were going to ask you the same thing!

How are we going to team up?

Well, you're from Suffolk, aren't you, Peter? Yes.

And I think there are two men here who probably like to stop for lunch occasionally.

I heard a whisper about Scotch eggs.

Yes. I'm a fellow devotee. Oh, are you?

The glove box is full of them!

So that's the Suffolk boys, Will and Peter, in the Morris

and James and Colin, the Scotch egg connoisseurs,

in the MG.

We'll see you at the auction.

Good luck! We're going to win!

Good luck!

Right, now they've gone - lunch?

Perhaps we could squeeze in one shop before lunch.

Colin and James head into Cole's Antiques

for some pre-prandial perusal.

Where do you stock your decaying goods?

Far too pink and far too girly.

Too girly. We don't want girly handbags.

Shall we move on?

This looks more up their street.

You see, look at this.

This is a mahogany fellow.

Feel the weight of that.

Lovely joints here.

It's a candle box. It's rather nice.

I do like that. It's got age.

It hasn't been touched. It's suffered the rigours of use

and hasn't been badly repaired.

I know how it feels.

Damage up there. Yes.

Damage below, but, you know, structurally sound.

And that's done a lot of years.

Nice fielded panels.

I might pay ?20 for that.

Or you might not.

The ticket price is ?60.

I'd like that. Unusual to find in mahogany.

It says mid-19th-century. I think it's older than that.

Well, that first shop was all done and dusted double quick.

I wonder why?

Now, I have heard a little rumour that just round the corner from here

they make Scotch eggs. Aah!

Ah, that's why!

Our Scotch egg fanatics have been shopping barely 50 yards

from a Scotch egg emporium of some repute.

What are the chances, eh?

Oh, the world of Scotch eggs!

Welcome to the Egg Shed, as we call ourselves.

The Egg Shed!

It's no yolk, is it?

TIM GROANS Prepare yourselves, viewers.

Let me give you a menu. We have, unfortunately,

over 50 different types of Scotch egg there.

Yes...we might be here a while.

This is the Black Watch, the one you thought you'd like.

This is black pudding with sausagemeat

is said to date from 1738,

when they were first made by Fortnum Mason.

Colin, I'm afraid I'm going to have to drag you away.

Start laying the trail.

There's a Scotch egg!

I think we got off quite lightly there.

Right, let's see how Peter and Will are getting on.

I'm full of anticipation

and worry a little.

I've got to look for things that will sell rather than things that I like.

As long as we're pleased with what we buy,

then, you know, I don't think we can regret anything.

The other car, with James and the Time Lord,

and in the Morris, the companion. Who's going to win?

We should win.

Oh, the gauntlet has been thrown down!

Oh, yes. Peter and Will are pootling

the 16 miles from Bishop's Frome

to Leominster,

which, back in 1809,

There's plenty to look at. Is there? Give us an idea of the layout.

We've got three floors and a basement and an attic.

I must stop thinking about what I like.

Let's see what will make a profit.

Wise words...but Peter is finding it hard to stick to.

Quite pretty.

I don't think that's got legs, myself.

No.

I see you are being drawn to tea sets, though, and things like that.

Will tries a gentle reminder.

What was that you were saying, Peter?

A hedgerow hammer!

Will's working on a theme here.

It's definitely hammer time!

# You can't touch this! #

That would make me a fine gavel.

And SOLD!

Smash the desk! What a great...

have a total price of ?82.

That's a good-looking tool. I like that.

That's another cooper's tool. A metal-framed pick.

Not quite the same, but the cooper's tool...

I quite like that, though.

That's quite unusual, with the way that frame goes all around.

Peter Purves has picked up a pick.

But how much is Peter Purves prepared to pay

for the pick that he has picked?

Who writes this stuff?!

?50.

I sense that Peter's going to be quite good at this Road Trip malarkey.

We might as well have a look on the ground floor,

then we can say we've covered all bases.

Hello! What do we have here?

That's caught my eye as we came in.

A grain scoop.

There's quite a lot of money in them.

Someone with a bit of imagination could use that for anything.

Scooping grain, maybe?

and see what he can do?

Brian, a unit owner,

makes the call to Nigel, who owns the tools.

You've got some cooper's tools there.

Ticket price you've got, that adds up to 82.

And they are making you a very generous offer

of ?50.

Don't laugh, Nigel!

I just talked them up to that.

Would you like to have a word with the legendary Peter Purves?

This is Nigel.

Hello, Nigel. I gather you laughed at our offer.

60 is his best.

The owner is prepared to come down a fair bit,

but there is a limit, even for the legendary Peter Purves.

OK, we'll shake your hand on 60.

Just as business seems to be concluded on the tools,

owner Jeremy Weston interrupts.

You're missing a golden opportunity.

I know that they sell, but price is everything.

That is a seller. You can sell that.

Get your keys out, Jeremy.

You've pulled!

Candle boxes seem to be today's hot ticket.

Is there some concern about the future of Britain's power supplies, perchance?

It'll give you a good profit.

You could make money on this.

I've got 85 on it.

45 to you.

You're on.

That Jeremy knows what he's doing.

That was a quick bit of business.

We've made a deal with Jeremy on this.

He's a fast worker, that Jeremy!

He's a good salesman!

I'm impressed. 45 quid.

And wouldn't you know it -

it turns out that Jeremy also owns the grain scoop.

Ticket price ?32.

18.

Ah! The job's done!

Hello. Hello.

Hello there. This looks rather large. Are you Fiona?

That's right. Hi, Fiona. I'm Peter.

It's one of those shops -

floor after floor, room after room,

shelf after shelf, all stuffed with antiques.

Lovely!

Now, before you come in here, make me a promise.

Walk straight past it all.

Come on...no, I'm not letting you...

No tea wares, no dinner wares.

What do you make to that?

A bit of tribal. African, is it?

I like bowler hats. I think we should maybe revive wearing bowler hats.

Do you know what it's like? It's like opening a new box of chocolates.

Come on, Forrest Gump! Concentrate.

What about that? A student microscope, with slides.

I wonder what the slides are.

In its little box.

This was the one that struck me at a distance,

because I think...

if I'm not mistaken...

That's a nice shape. It's a Shelley. Oh, yes.

And they do tend to be rather nice.

That's rather undamaged.

Looks all right, condition-wise, doesn't it? That's...

I quite like that.

Ah! Damage on the base.

Ah.

Peter's taking on the role of expert now,

spotting a tiny area of damage that will affect the value

of the jelly mould.

How much is the jelly mould worth? ?20.

Yeah, I mean, I'm not enamoured by the jelly mould,

but I will follow your lead.

Oh, crikey, don't do that!

We'll be dead in the water! I can't, you know...

Hello! Do I detect a bit of division in the ranks?

Oh, that's interesting.

Have you seen that? The sampler? I just saw that.

Do you like samplers? I do.

Samplers are the embroidery equivalent

I did notice that. It hasn't got a date.

Little bit of staining.

And not the finest stitch in the world.

But... That small, neat type...

Exactly. You get that petit point, I think they call it,

the stitching.

It's something everybody did.

Oh, crikey, look at the back of it.

That's not been off in a while. It hasn't.

We like things that turn up well, don't we? Yes.

What's on it? Victorian. 60 quid.

They like the sampler,

and have also asked one of the unit owners, Fiona,

for a closer look at the microscope.

Oh, you've brought it to us. I'm good like that.

Thanks, Fiona.

Little vintage...

Looks all there. Quite tidy.

I quite like that.

I quite like it.

I'd have thought, at that sort of money, there's potential in that.

But we're really hoping, praying, really,

that we could get this for about 40.

The dealer wants 50.

Could we stretch it to 48?

He's very good at this.

Your husband's saying it has to be 48?

OK, we'll shake your hand and send you a big kiss for that.

Thank you very much. 48.

That's lovely. Thank you very much indeed.

Thank you. Thank you, Sheila!

That's lovely. Thank you.

I think you dealt with that very well.

I think you did well there, because, like I've said to you,

what we don't want to do is just come in and say...

She gets no profit at all. She said to me, "I'll have made ?1.30 on that".

It might be more than we're going to make on it.

Come on, man, have some confidence!

So have we bought that? We've bought that.

Time now to tackle the owner of the microscope.

It sounds like you're just name-dropping in every shop you go into!

"Don't you know that I'M Peter Purves?!"

You've got to explain he's filming the Antiques Road Trip!

He hasn't just wandered in off the street and said, "I'm Peter Purves!"

That's good. Cheers. Bye-bye. Did he say yes? He said yes.

Thank you! Thank you, Mark!

I love that - "You'll never guess who walked into the shop!"

Peter Purves, throwing his name about!

Well, that's two items bought.

Good work, Peter.

Everybody seems happy.

?68 seems a reasonable price for the two pieces.

Their shopping for the day is now over.

Well, that's job done again!

I can't believe it. We're on a roll.

Colin and James, however, have barely started.

They're enjoying themselves, though.

What a lovely morning! What a lovely day!

That's been the perfect morning. It has.

to visit what is, in many ways,

Colin's own personal museum.

# Dr Who Hey!

# The TARDIS

# Dr Who Hey!

# Dr Who... #

Shall we go and visit the Time Machine?

The Time Machine museum houses one of the biggest collections

of screen-used Dr Who props in the galaxy.

Is it going to be bigger on the inside?

No, it's smaller.

Former policeman Andy Glazzard

has been collecting for 30 years.

Prior to opening the museum in 1997,

he kept the whole collection round at his mum's place.

I'm the owner of this exhibition,

which is approximately 80%

Dr Who actual props and costume from the show.

How fantastic!

And the rest is made up from Star Wars, Star Trek...

Sorry, Star Wars?!

Right, time to boldly explore some of these exhibits.

and she saw her daddy, who wasn't there with her,

being dragged by this thing, on this box in the corner.

She couldn't grasp it, and had nightmares for weeks.

It must have cost the BBC a fortune.

More than they were paying me!

We're talking ?25,000, ?35,000. Yes.

Cor! You got a lot of intergalactic megalomaniac to the pound in those days.

This is the well-known TARDIS, isn't it?

That's a very big one.

I never had one as big as that.

No. Yours wasn't as tall, but it might have been a little bit wider.

What are you suggesting?

That was Jon Pertwee. Oh, trust him to have one bigger than mine!

Lead on, Andy.

Will I ever return?

The museum is an old bakery.

Plenty of the fourth dimension,

but not much of the first three.

Could I have it back, please? It's mine.

I did pay an awful lot of money for it. No, it was stolen from me.

I can attest that it's genuine, so you should have paid more for it.

The trip back in time to the days he travelled through time

has put Colin in a nostalgic mood.

Late one night, after filming a Dalek story,

I'd been in the bar and had a couple of drinks

and I was walking back and took a short cut through the studio to my dressing room.

They'd stripped all the sets out, but there was one Dalek

left in the middle of the studio floor.

And it was dimly lit with emergency lighting.

And as I walked past, the eye stalk

followed me round.

And it turned out that the operator was worried, because all day it had been squeaking.

And he was inside, oiling it.

But I didn't know that!

And for me, alone in a vast empty space,

with a Dalek, for a moment,

just one moment,

Do you never learn?

This is the one opportunity to finally kill the Doctor.

EXTERMINATE!

They don't learn. How many times have I defeated them?

And they still come back for more. And they still come back for more.

He's still got what it takes. Once a Doctor, always a Doctor.

So, with that time-travelling interlude,

day one of the road trip is done. Night-night.

I hope the Silurian bedbugs don't bite.

# Good morning, world It's a brand-new day... #

It's a new day on Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

and our two time-travelling celebrities

of yesteryear are catching up on yesterday.

We had a really good day. We bought five lots. What did you buy?

I'm not telling you. Go on! No.

Animal, vegetable or mineral?

And over in the MG, our antiques experts swap notes on their two new pals.

Peter does like to shop. Does he? Yeah.

He's a natural. He needs a bit of guiding.

He seems to like, um...

unsalable porcelain tea sets.

Excellent!

Both of them seem very happy.

Colin's a very nice fellow.

They're both, aren't they? Yeah.

They've seen it, they've done it. You can't teach them anything, can we?

Look at this! How kind of you to join us(!)

WILL: Well, do you know what?

We can't work it out. We can't work it out.

We don't know how you do it.

You always get everywhere we're going before us.

The secret's in the title - Time Lord!

Ah!

We have the mastery of time.

That's job done again!

James and Colin hardly shopped at all,

buying just the candle holder for ?20,

and have got a pocket-busting ?380 in their crisply ironed chinos.

Looks even better in the daylight.

Teamed up again, Peter and Will use the drive through the famous spa town of Malvern

to consider their rivals' progress.

I think Colin actually is sharper on the antiques than we think.

He's a good actor.

He is that. He is that.

I shouldn't say anything nice about him - he won't be saying anything nice about me.

And let battle recommence!

Oh, and a space - look at that!

Yes, and you can probably walk to the kerb from where you are.

I bet that's a rarity in Malvern. I bet it is.

It's the hardest bit, this bit. The browsing.

The looking.

Well, no-one said it would be easy.

Backgammon set.

Probably North African or something like that, do you think?

A little souvenir piece.

Satsuma ware, is it? Yes, I think it probably is, yeah.

Will is still struggling to point Peter away from the porcelain.

Walk on, Peter. Walk on. Walk on.

Yes, sorry.

Stopping at things we are not going to buy.

Hello, what are they? This could be trouble.

Ooh, look.

Jelly mould. Your Shelley jelly mould.

Yeah.

How much have they got on that? Can't see it.

68.

Really? That's an interesting one, with the...

And you've got some more down that end.

I don't think he is.

Shelley's Potteries, once known as Foley, were based in Staffordshire.

They were known for their fine porcelain,

with production peaking during the Art Deco period.

But not for moulds.

Go on, Peter, dive in.

There you are. Thank you very much.

It looks in very good condition. It does.

What's the total?

68. It's a lot of money, that.

What's your budget?

There's 116 here,

170, 180...

4.

184?! For the three.

Remember those moulds they saw yesterday?

They were ?20 a pop.

I suppose there is a market - kitchenalia, that sort of thing.

Yes, people will buy them.

Is Will warming to the moulds?

I'm not hugely aware of what the market is like for jelly moulds,

but of their type, they are nice ones. Yes.

How did you buy them? Where did you get them?

They came from a local house clearance. Did they?

We've got to try and turn a profit on these at auction.

Obviously, we don't want you to make a loss on them, but...

She's bought them well, Peter.

They've come out of a clearance.

You're probably already in profit for the whole clearance. Not really.

Um...

Shall we give you a figure that we were thinking of? Go on, then.

We were thinking of, maybe, for the three...

80 quid.

That's a trifling ?100 off the jelly moulds.

I was thinking more of ?100, really.

Hmm.

Hmm. Meet you halfway on that - 90?

Go on, then. Yeah.

Peter, you've done the deal, mate!

Peter's done the deal.

That's very nice from my point of view. That's lovely.

Definitely. Without a question.

And how does Will feel about his partner's work?

Well, Peter finally got his jelly moulds.

You know, he does seem to like his little sort of ceramic-y knick-knacks and so on,

and, well, the proof will be in the selling, won't it?

Hmm. Still, you're both in it together, aren't you?

Nothing to do with me, guv. It's all Peter.

Well, maybe not.

60, 80, 100.

That's a very nice deal.

Thank you very much. Not at all. Thank you, Bridget.

Over in the MG, also in Malvern,

James Braxton gives Colin a few insider tips.

The person whose shop it is

knows his stock a lot better than we do.

We want to buy something that's come from a house clearance.

It's been in a house for the last 30 or 40 years... Lovely.

You know your stock a lot better than we do.

Have you done any clearances recently?

Fresh goods, we're after.

We don't want to buy something everybody's seen.

You've got to put the work in.

You've got to walk around a couple of times.

Lovely item, that. 35 quid.

What? A chair.

That is an interesting item.

What on earth is this...

stoneware item here?

A chicken feeder. Put it out in the fields.

Chicken feed.

Made of? Stoneware.

It's salt-glazed.

Salt-glazed stonewares -

they're very often referred to as an orange-peel glaze.

Oh!

Chimney pots and things like that.

A particular variety or not? No.

Egg-laying ones. Egg-laying ones.

That certainly is an unusual item, isn't it?

It is funny.

He's trying to look casual, but I think James has taken a fancy to the chicken feeder.

Mark, what price would you put on this?

Think cheap, Mark.

Colin is the meanest man I think I have ever come across.

Colin, how would you price something like that? 20.

Ouch! It was priced at 75.

You can't have it for 20, I'm afraid.

Can't have it for 20? I'll do 22 and there we're...

The best I can do is ?40 on that, I'm afraid.

Back in your court, then, Colin.

I promised myself I wouldn't go above 25, but I'll do 30.

Really? That much?

I still won't bite, I'm afraid.

OK. Fair enough.

We'll pass on that, then.

I can see it now. Yes.

Very stylised.

It's quite nice. It gives a three-dimensional feel to it.

And this sort of opalescence. Yes.

Typical French. Typical French, isn't it?

The chap who sort of...

forefronted this was Lalique.

Good design, get somebody else to manufacture it

and then retail it.

Lalique bowls are very collectable.

This, however, is by Andre Hunebelle,

a less well-known glassmaker who became a film director.

How much have you got on that? 45.

You can have it for your 25 or your 20.

Ah! Ah!

I can feel him softening up a bit.

And Colin decides to pounce.

You wanted 35, you said, for that.

Wasn't it 35 you said?

I think I said 40, but...I will...

I thought you were in haggling mode!

No, no, we've already beaten him down.

That's very good.

That's the chicken feeder. Thank you. Done.

Thank you. Well done, Colin.

I think we've bought two very different objects. Yes.

For different people.

They won't be paying chicken feed for it either.

Well, if a joke works once...

Thank you very much.

Thanks a lot. Thank you very much.

Really kind. You've looked after us very well. Thank you.

With their shopping completed, Peter and Will are heading to Worcester.

And whereas Colin explored the world of science fiction,

Peter is looking into the history of science fact.

What about this, eh? Lovely.

Worcester has a rich medical history,

and has two museums of medicine.

One of them is housed in an old infirmary,

It was at a time when they were doing model hospitals.

So, as you can see from the design of it,

it had very large windows.

The beds were laid out in the form of Florence Nightingale's style.

The nurses could get up and down the...

The windows haven't changed, have they? The windows haven't changed.

So this is the actual room we're in? It is.

In fact, there you are!

I've slightly changed!

Aged well.

This really tells you about when medicine was starting up,

prior to...well, really in the 1700s.

So, before the 1800s, it was based on the four humours theory,

which were blood, bile - yellow bile, black bile -

and phlegm.

So that, if they thought you were perhaps a bit too red or had a fever,

they'd actually let your blood into the bowl here.

Cut you and let your blood.

I really hope you're not eating your tea at home.

Well, I suppose it probably is.

It's not quite gory enough, because funnily enough,

people that collect this sort of medical memorabilia

and so on, surgical equipment,

the sort of gorier the better, really.

Because the scarifiers and similar

that you actually use to cut the skin, there's a market for those.

Have you got any about here?

Not in this, no.

They do have some fairly gruesome exhibits, however.

So obviously, we've got a bone saw here.

Scalpel. Scalpel.

We've got a trephine, used for boring into the head

to relieve pressure on the brain.

A cauterising iron.

And the horsehair, used for stitching people up.

I didn't know they used horsehair for the stitching.

And the bones are examples of...?

Bones that were cut at that time?

Yes, it's a really interesting story behind these bones.

from the jail opposite and bring them in a tunnel

through to the infirmary,

so a very macabre story of carrying bodies underneath...

Research bodies for... Developing techniques. Yes.

An endless supply of...

Criminals. Oh, dear!

Well, they didn't really have enough bodies,

so that's where you get the Burke and Hare

and all that body-snatching, because they just didn't have enough bodies.

With its interactive keyhole surgery display,

the museum also marks some of the more recent developments

in medical technology,

so Peter finally gets to play the doctor.

Oh, crikey!

It's a lot more sensitive than you'd think.

I think you just severed an artery.

Now, you see, I nearly got that little bit.

Yes, you are doing very well, in fact, Peter.

Left a bit...

So how's the real Doctor getting on?

James and Colin are also on their way from Malvern to Worcester

and their final shop of the trip.

We now have three items.

Three items I would be happy to put my name to.

Yes, absolutely.

And we've got one more shop to go to.

So are we downhearted, James?

No, we're chipper!

We're chipper. We know we're going to find something.

That's the spirit!

We need a win. It's good for the soul. We do.

James and Colin's final shop is another place just packed full of desirable items.

It's like Aladdin's cave in here!

Unfortunately, not much of this is at a price the lads can afford.

?3,500.

Maybe not.

I'm slightly regretting passing that chair now, Colin.

Oh, dear!

Woe!

James decides that they might have better luck outside in the gardening section.

This is better out here, isn't it?

Bonaparte has a naive charm, doesn't he?

Naive? Definitely.

Charm?

Not so much.

Is Boney cheap?

Is he nice or is he hideous?

Would you like my opinion?

Is that the companion figure? Yes.

Let's have a look at her.

I quite like the pair.

Well, I never!

He's thinking of buying TWO of them!

Where do these come from, then?

We just bought from a house.

They were in the grounds of an old property. They're not old.

I'm going to bring the lady up to him.

And then we can view them at a proper height.

They are different. They're going to divide people.

You'll either love them or loathe them.

It's a "Not tonight, Josephine" from me.

Look at her face!

They're 150 the pair.

150? Yes.

It's a price thing, you see.

I don't think you'll get ?100 for them at auction.

75. That's cheap.

That's cheap for those. The pair?

The pair.

55 would be more my...

The measure of it.

It's giving me chest pains.

65, and I'm losing on those.

Actually losing money.

Now we've established you're prepared to lose money...

will you lose a little more?

LAUGHTER

Let's have some fun and have them at 60.

60, sir. 65.

65? Do you want to do it? Go on.

65. Well done.

Have you recovered from our visit?

That chair - is it still there?

Little nursing chair.

Walnut one, wasn't it? Yes.

With the nice feet.

Would you take 30 on it?

Really got to be 35, has it?

Mark, let me save you the grief - we would love it at 35.

Thank you very much indeed, Mark.

Cor! They made hard work of it,

but James and Colin's shopping is now done.

They join Peter and Will at the infirmary

to compare their wares.

Ooooh!

Oh, my goodness!

Goodness me!

Heavens to Betsy!

A lot of wood involved. There is.

I'll let Peter talk you through it.

What's that?

That's a candle box.

A candle box! What a novel idea(!)

And it's got the original staple hinges.

And they were actually priced quite high.

We managed to get those down to rather a nice price.

Shelley jelly moulds. Shelley jelly moulds.

That one's perfect. That one's perfect.

That's got the tiniest bit of damage on the side.

That was Peter's doing!

The lot there was...

?180? We didn't pay that, did we? No, we didn't.

We got them for 90.

Those three moulds? Those three.

Come on, then! I think...very good.

Well, it's a nice little mix, isn't it?

Nice variation.

Which one first?

Oh, I say!

Go, go, go!

Look what I've spotted at the front there!

Oh, yes!

Nice candle box again.

Is it a candle box? Yes.

Different one, with a sliding top.

Nice that they're different models.

That's a more...

Less rustic than ours.

Good work! You did well with that.

And WHAT are these horrors?!

I don't like those.

You either love them or hate them, don't you?

They are very mysterious.

Napoleon looks like... Oh, my days, look at her!

He looks like Spike Milligan.

SHE looks like Spike Milligan!

They may fall on deaf ears, those.

And the chair at the end.

Oh, yes, the last-minute chair.

Well, it's rather elegant.

WILL: You've gone for a piece of furniture.

We've gone for a piece of furniture - I don't know why.

It's lovely quality. It's walnut. Carved walnut. It's a nursing chair.

Did you do that stain? No, I left that to others.

But we bought it on price.

25 quid? Almost.

35.

I mean...

We say it all the time - how cheap is that?

Yes. For a piece of Victorian furniture. Look at those legs

What do they really think?

It'll be interesting, those jelly moulds. That's quite a price, ?90.

I was staggered when I heard that.

I mean, I clearly don't know the value of jelly moulds!

Even Shelley jelly moulds.

But I can't see them making money on those at auction.

Seeing those two gargoyles on the end, I think they're horrendous.

They're awful, aren't they? Absolutely horrendous. I wouldn't give those house room.

They could make...20 quid. If they're lucky.

All together, I wouldn't swap.

No. Nor would I.

So both teams approach the auction confident of victory.

For the sale, our celebrities and experts are travelling the 25 miles

from Worcester to Winchcombe.

What out of your lots do you think might struggle today?

Are you worried about any of them? Struggle?!

How DARE you!

My lots don't struggle! They don't walk, they don't run, they fly!

I'm going to smile very sweetly at everybody

and hope that I'm more appealing to them than you smiling very sweetly at them.

The auction house is British Bespoke Auctions in Winchcombe.

Before we get underway, auctioneer Nicholas Granger

casts his eye over the team's lots.

I quite like the terracotta heads of Napoleon.

They're quite stylised, a bit quirky,

They're quite stylised, a bit quirky,

and people like quirky things. Quirky things sell.

I like the Art Deco bowl. That's one of my favourite pieces.

I'm a great lover of Lalique, because Lalique's best bit has budgerigars on it.

As you can see, I quite like parrots.

So, Lalique-style, it's got a good chance.

Sadly, the expert opinion of the parrot was not recorded,

although he did think that Napoleon looked like a pretty boy.

spending ?175 on their five lots.

Now we've established you're prepared to lose money...

will you lose a little more?

Locals and internet bidders are ready

and profits made by our teams go to Children In Need,

so let's get on with it, shall we?

Good luck. Good luck.

First in the pecking order

is James and Colin's salt-glazed chicken feeder.

It's lovely, isn't it?

20 on the net we have straight away.

I'm looking for ?30. 32. Now looking for 35.

We're looking for ?35 on the internet.

35 we've got. And 8. I'm looking for 40.

?40 on the internet.

Come on!

We're looking for 42. I've got 40 on this.

Fair warning.

Are there no chickens here?

At ?40. Going once, twice... Sold.

That's ?5 more than they paid.

Not a bad start.

I can't believe it went for as little as that.

At 30 there, sir. At 30, with you.

?30 I've got. Looking for 32.

Do you have relatives here? No! If only!

At ?30. Fair warning at ?30.

Going once, twice, at ?30, to the room.

Peter and Will paid twice that.

The French apres Lalique bowl is next.

I wish I was allowed to bid.

Straight away, I'm looking for ?22 on that. 22 I've got. And 5.

Looking for 28.

28. Now I'm looking for 30. 30 I've got.

Looking for ?32 on this.

For ?32... I've got 30 on this.

Looking for ?32 in the room or at home.

It's worth hundreds!

It's worth hundreds, he says. We'll take his word for it,

but we've only got 30

and we're looking for 32 now.

Great taste.

I'm looking for 35 now.

At ?32 with you, madam.

Oh, surely more than that!

Well done.

A profit's a profit.

Now, Peter and Will need to get going.

Will the joint grain scoop and candle box do it for them?

We travel back in time, ladies and gentlemen, with this one.

This is a 19th century candle box.

At ?45 we've got.

I'm looking for 48 on these two.

50 now.

I've got ?50 on these.

Looking for 52. And 5 we've got now, commission.

We need 60.

They know there's a better candle box coming later!

?55, going once, twice...

At ?55.

Sold for ?55, and bought for ?63.

The joint lot policy just doesn't pay off.

It's a shame.

Will James and Colin's candle box fare any better?

Commission bid on this. I'm looking for ?42.

Sold.

They've doubled their money there.

James and Colin are doing OK.

Well done, gentlemen. Well done.

The candle war is yours.

Peter and Will will need something to turn a profit.

Could the 19th-century needlework sampler do it for them?

We're looking for ?20 only on this.

20 on the net. We've got 20 bid straight away.

In the room now, we've got 22.

With you at 22 in the room.

At 22. 25, do we have?

And 5 on the internet. At 25.

And 30, sir? And 30 in the room.

And 2, sir? We'd like to go ?30.

32 on the net now.

And 5, sir?

At 35 in the room now. Looking for 38.

35, I'm going to sell, then.

At ?35, going once, twice, then.

At ?35 to the room. Sold.

Peter and Will are nought for four at the moment.

That's another painful loss.

This is very disappointing.

?30. At 30 here. And 2, sir?

And 5?

32 here with you, sir.

Looking for 35 elsewhere.

At ?35. I've got ?32 bid already.

Come on - it's lovely!

?32. Going once... And 5 over there.

CHEERING

5 on the net.

?35.

Obviously, the TARDIS is a bit slow. Took a bit of time to bid.

We've got 35.

And 38 bidding in the room.

38 in the room. We're looking for 40.

Just pull the plug!

Going once, twice at ?38.

Sold.

The last-minute purchase makes a last-minute profit,

although probably a small loss after auction costs.

A small loss is better than a big loss.

Could the student's microscope be the item that makes a profit

for Peter and Will?

Let's get it going at ?15.

Any takers at ?15 in the room or at home? At ?15.

I'm surprised.

?20, then. Going once, twice. At ?20.

Which is exactly what they paid for it.

I thought that would have made a bit more than 20 quid.

What do I know?!

Colin and James are doing well,

but this pair might be their Waterloo.

I can see at least three people out here who look just like that.

Start the bidding at ?40. They've got to be worth ?40.

At 40. At ?40.

Come on! What's wrong with you?

At ?40. At 30.

Let's start them off at ?30.

Have we got ?30? We're looking for 30, then.

At 30.

Let's start them off at 15, then. Got to be a giveaway at 15.

And all the hands go up. They all want them.

At 18. At 20.

Don't get carried away.

And 5. That's nothing - that's ?12.50 each.

Unlucky, gentlemen, unlucky.

That could work to our favour, Peter.

Finally, it's Peter's -

sorry, that should be Peter AND Will's - jelly moulds.

They need a big win here.

At ?40, a commission bid.

At ?40 I've got.

At 45. And 48.

And 50. ?50 we've got now.

At 50. We're looking for ?55.

We've got 50 here. We're looking for 55.

?50, going once, twice...

At ?50, the three Shelley jelly moulds. And sold.

I could try and put a positive spin on it,

but not one of Peter and Will's items made a profit.

You paid what? 90.

COLIN HOOTS WITH LAUGHTER

That's cheered him up!

Oh, dear!

Not a good day at auction, eh?

Peter and Will lost ?125.20

Making them the winners.

I'd like to say...I'm not bitter.

Just a little bit twisted!

Just a little bit.

Before he gets any more ideas.

I could get used to this winning lark - it's rather good!

Very good.

Hooray!

Off we go! Cheerio, guys.

Colin and Peter...

Colin and Peter - lovely, lovely, lovely people.

We had a lovely day.

I've thoroughly enjoyed this.

It's been good seeing you again. It's been a brilliant three days.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd