Episode 6 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip


Episode 6

Two of the three Goodies, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden, get back into character as they pair up with antiques experts Will Axon and Philip Serrell.


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Transcript


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Some of the nation's favourite celebrities. Why have I such expensive taste?

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One antiques expert each.

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And one big challenge:

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who can seek out and buy the best antiques at the very best prices?

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Answers on a postcard.

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Oh! And auction for a big profit further down the road.

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I say! He's an absolute shower!

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Who will spot the good investments? Who will listen to advice? Like it? No. It's horrible.

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And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"?

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two-thirds of much-loved 1970s comedy team The Goodies.

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# Goodies! Goody goody yum yum... #

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Most people concentrate on the giant kitten, I think, because it was in the opening titles.

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So it pulls that down in every show. Yeah, yeah.

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And they're just being kind and pretending they remember the series.

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Oh, come, come! Don't be so modest.

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These two have been chums and close collaborators for nigh on 50 years.

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I like it. Glad to hear it, Tim.

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# Tie a yellow gibbon round the old oak tree... #

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With colleague Bill Oddie, they transformed the laughter landscape

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with their trademark combination of surreal monkey business...

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# Do, do, do the funky gibbon... #

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Yes!

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While many of The Goodies' signature comedy stunts relied on Tim's considerable talents

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as a comic and actor.

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An almost inseparable pair, they've also spent more than 40 years as panellists on BBC Radio Four's

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chucklefest I'm Sorry, I Haven't A Clue.

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Today our Goodies are driving a great British classic updated for the modern age,

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the 1999 HMC Healey.

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They're on their way to meet their opposite numbers.

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They're the celebrities and we're the antiques. Yes. Oh, pish posh, Graeme!

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But they are antiquarian maestros - Philip Serrell and Will Axon.

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Philip is a Worcestershire auctioneer and Road Trip veteran

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whose predilection for buying eccentric objects is, at this stage, well-established.

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Well, he's not a woman! I'm loving these Miami palms.

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I feel like Crockett and Tubbs. Who? Miami Vice!

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Don't get carried away! This morning those two are piloting a scarlet stunner,

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the 1969 Triumph Vitesse.

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Where are you going? Do you know? I'm sorry, I haven't a clue! Ha!

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Today's first stop will be in Paignton, Devon,

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with both teams aiming for an auction in Cirencester, Gloucestershire.

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The next two days will see them tour the southern county of Devon.

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# Here comes the sun

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# Here comes the sun I say it's all right... #

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And the sunny summer weather certainly looks inviting.

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# Sun, sun, sun, here it comes... #

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Time for our celebrities to meet Phil and Will.

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How are you? I'm Will.

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Graeme, how are you?

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Shall we let these two get on with it, Tim? I think so. Exactly.

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Tim and Will face off against Graeme and Phil.

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Both teams start with a freshly-pressed ?400

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so let's get the show on the road.

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And they're off! Here we go.

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Handbrake. Well, sort of. You say when. When. Oh!

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HORN BLOWS Careful, Will.

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Always best to look in the wing mirror! Having narrowly cheated death once again, they're motoring on

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in their newly-formed twosomes.

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Well, Tim, my partner for this Road Trip. Winning partner.

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I was going to ask if you were competitive, but you want to beat Graeme? Yes. We want to, well...

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The social history context. Exactly.

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Ideal.

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Will and Tim are headed for the town of Totnes.

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Totnes is a bustling market town which celebrated the 800th anniversary of its Royal Charter

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in 2006. Tim and Will are parking up

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and heading off into their first shop of the day, the decisively named Not Made In China. Ha!

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They're meeting a dealer, James. Hello, James. Hello there.

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I'm Tim. How do you do? And he'll introduce himself.

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Hello, I'm Will. Hello, Will.

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Just have a quick scan, see if anything catches your eye.

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This clock is fairly... That is very showy, isn't it?

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I quite like the jaunty hat on that bear. Yes, the smoking cap.

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That is an original little oil.

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Bit of art glass. I've just remembered I've got this hat on.

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I wasn't going to mention it. I thought it suited you rather well.

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That would be where we hang the pendulum. But time is ticking on. You'll have to settle on something.

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Ah! What is that? What is it? A little sort of... It's a warmer.

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OK. Originally, the top would have unscrewed and you'd put coals in it.

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Oh, for your carriage. A little carriage footwarmer. For a picnic or something.

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It's quite interesting. Are you liking that? Yeah.

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It's campaign, I suppose. Campaign is a good word.

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It's a nice word. It certainly is!

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Campaign items are designed for travel and were popular in the 18th and 19th centuries.

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This is a little warming stool, decorated in an Indian style.

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18 whole pounds. It would be nice to buy something. That's got ?15 written all over it.

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OK. Look at that! Deal. I'm left holding the propeller.

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Good work, fella. So they've got the so-called campaign stool for ?15 and this contest is up and running.

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Hello, hello.

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Meanwhile, Graeme and Phil are in the car and on the way to their own first shop.

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Well, sir, have you got a plan?

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I think I'm going to buy some very expensive things very cheaply.

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I think you've got the measure of this game, Graeme. I was discussing this with Tim in the car. Yeah?

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And I gave him a bit of advice. I said, "Here's a tip, Tim. Always pay the asking price."

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Or a little bit more. People like generous people. That's it.

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Do you think he believed you? I think he did. All he has to do is convince Will.

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Yeah. He looks like he should be buying a silver spoon. Something that slips easily into a pocket.

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Oh, really?

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But to matters at hand... Where are we going?!

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They're heading for the Devon town of Salcombe.

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We should go round the harbour and try to find a boat. No, you jolly well should not,

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though Salcombe's lovely waterfront has ensured it's always been a sailing town.

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Graeme and Philip are cruising off into Mo Logan Antiques and meeting the proprietress,

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who oddly enough is called Mo. Hello! Hi. Hello, hello.

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Make yourselves at home.

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Quick as a flash, Phil's spotted something and as usual it is something large and heavy.

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Can I pull this out? Yeah, it's really heavy. Is it?

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Who buys columns? Well, I think it would be... It's a good decorator's lot.

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Yes. I could see that in the corner of a really trendy bathroom.

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Nice head, a marble head. You can't beat a good bust. Hey, steady!

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What's the ticket price on that? 195.

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Can we have a think about that? Can we put that one by? Yeah. It's not going anywhere. It isn't!

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Ah! Another hat! They never can resist.

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Am I modelling this? Yeah.

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Do you think that's me? Yeah. No, I think this is just a bit too much for me, really.

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It does look a bit small. It does him no favours, does it?

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That's just not his colour!

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They're totally asymmetrical. That doesn't help them, does it? No. No.

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Again, these iron railings are right up Phil's street, but Graeme's willing to go along with him

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on them and the wooden pedestal.

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What sort of price does Philip think they need to be?

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We'd like to try and get ?80 for them. For these? 20 and 60.

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Mm, blimey. That's a very substantial discount on the combined ticket price of ?270.

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But perhaps Mo is keen to see the back of these weighty items, with any luck.

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Would ?80 buy the two of them? Em... That puts this at 60 and those at 20.

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Yeah, I can... They're quite heavy things for people to buy on holiday.

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That's not going to go in the boot of your car. So I would be happy to do that. What do you think?

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Think we should buy those? All right. You buy that, I'll buy them. We'll see who does best.

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Hopefully, they'll be a sound buy.

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The sole purpose of this programme is to make a profit. It's actually to make a fool of him.

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I don't need any help in that! Ain't that the truth?

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Now Tim and Will are in the Healey and racing off to the next shop.

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Will's keen to ask about Tim's 50 years of friendship with Graeme.

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Now what about Graeme? He comes across to me as a very intelligent man, very broad knowledge.

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That's a very good description of him. He's quite a quiet man. He is.

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It could be infuriating. You get nothing out of him.

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Suddenly, he'd come up with the best idea of the lot. Worth waiting for.

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They're aiming for the town of Dartmouth.

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Every year since 1834, the lovely River Dart has played host to Dartmouth Royal Regatta.

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What about art? Do you like art? I do, but it's a very personal thing. It is.

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So I'm choosing something I want. Mind you, I like that.

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It's a nautical scene, painted by the late-19th, early-20th century artist William Matthew Hale.

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Ticket price is ?145.

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I quite like that. Is that a possible? I think it's a possible.

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OK, that's a possible. Well, Tim likes it. It's his pick. They make a note and browse on.

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Tricky little things that nobody else sees. Exactly.

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And something on the other side of the shop has really struck them.

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Blimey! Look at that. We used to have those when I was a lad!

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I remember it well, Tim!

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It's a carved club, clearly fashioned of English ash.

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# Anything any time... # Oh, so you did!

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It's got a great weight to it.

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Yeah!

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People do like wood and I suppose you could call it treen.

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It seems a bit out of our league, but... Yeah, it's a little pricey.

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And there's one more item they reckon might see a profit.

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Ooh.

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You could almost become admiral, couldn't you? What does it say?

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A stalker telescope.

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Hang on. This looks like it's going to... You might need help here.

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It's a 19th-century, four-draw telescope designed for use when deerstalking

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on some heathery Victorian moor. Ticket price on that one is a substantial ?175.

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while they're only holding ?385, cash.

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They're going to have to get a super deal for all three. Watch out.

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I mean, if we could get all of them for 100 quid each.

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300 quid? Yeah, actually, that does make sense.

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Time to ambush dealer Nick.

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We found three items. Yep. The picture we were taken by. Yeah, the oil.

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The Goodies-esque club. Yeah. Cudgel.

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And the telescope. Give us your very best prices on them.

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And we'll see... What's on the picture?

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145. So you're looking at about 110 on that.

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The club, really I'd need to get 100 for that.

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OK. OK?

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OK.

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One of your telescopes has got 175 on it. I've had a really cheeky offer of 100.

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Huh. Doesn't sound like JJ's biting.

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No. 110.

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JJ, would you take 110 on the telescope? Whoever it is, it's 130.

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OK, all right. Thanks, JJ. Cheers. Bye.

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So the telescope's stuck at ?130, but could Nick come down a little further on the painting?

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If that could be 100, a straight 100. Yep. Yeah? Yeah.

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That's 100 and that's 130.

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So that's 330.

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We've got to spend it somewhere, haven't we? But what if tomorrow we suddenly find the ideal thing?

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But what if you don't? This is true.

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Could the club come down any further? What about if it's 70? Does that help you at all?

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So they pay ?100 for the painting, ?130 for the telescope and ?70 for the club.

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That's ?300 the lot.

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That's a nice deal, but they've blown the great majority of their budget.

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Some very confident buying there, chaps. Let's hope it pays off.

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Thanks. Cheers.

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Graeme and Phil meanwhile are driving to the outskirts of Salcombe

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where they're visiting a local National Trust property that commemorates the life

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of its last private owner. He was an inventor and great British eccentric in the classic mould

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by the marvellous name of Otto Overbeck.

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Otto gave life to several inventive innovations,

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So it will be certainly interesting to see what his take is.

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These trees could do with a trim. Always the critic, Philip! They're meeting guide Malcolm Wesley.

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Hello. Welcome to Overbeck's. Thank you. Very pleased to meet you both. Hi, I'm Phil.

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Overbeck owned this house from 1928 until his death in 1937.

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Although hailing from a relatively modest family, the curious and learned Otto managed to amass

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a fortune large enough to acquire this grand property.

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Do come on through.

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Otto was in his 60s before one of his inventions finally took off commercially.

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In the 1920s, when he was about 64, he was suffering from chronic kidney pain.

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And he turned to the field of electrotherapy and that led to the development of a product

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Otto's actual invention is this comb device and he filed the patent for that in 1924.

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In another room, we've actually got a working model. Fascinated.

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Malcolm has an original instruction card that lists the conditions the device claimed to treat.

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Basically, if you've heard of it, it's on this list. There's certainly all the nervous conditions

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and neurological conditions. Yeah. Anaemia, Asthma.

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Do you get chilblains any more? No, they've gone.

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And then on the reverse of the card he actually shows in this diagram how it interacts with the brain.

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Otto had an electrical theory which he felt explained how it worked.

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What he said was terribly important was maintaining a balance between the negative electricity

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Speaking of which, let's electrocute Philip! Malcolm is the technician.

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It's not going to do you any harm. You've got no hair. He's got no hair! It cures constipation and insomnia?

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Apparently so. OK, give it a go, then. OK, you take those two.

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Oh, I do it? Oh, yes. I'll take your coat. What are you laughing at?

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Nothing...yet.

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Can I ask just one question? Yes. Where is the nearest lavatory? Just in case it works very quickly.

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Round the corner. That corner? Don;t fall asleep on the way. Ready?

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There you are. Do you feel that? Oh...I'll be back in a minute.

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Well, he doesn't look very rejuvenated!

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But what's trained medic Graeme's verdict?

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I'm not sure about the negative and the positive electrical balance.

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One is the stimulators that the Victorians had as toys.

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Yes. And the other was the fad for rejuvenation, which happened in the 1920s and '30s. Right.

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People like Gaylord Wilshire of Wilshire Boulevard.

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His thing was Ionico, which was a magnetic belt. OK. That's how he made his fortune,

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like Overbeck here made his fortune with this one. Gaylord Wilshire, eh?

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Graeme, you truly are a font of knowledge.

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It is a wonderful example of the sort of eccentric

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that came out in that time in this country, somebody with an idea. He must have believed in it,

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that in some way it worked for him. Yes, I think that's right.

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It's very ingenious. And it's the way eccentricity leads to strange forms of creativity.

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Night night, chaps.

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But you just can't keep a Goodie man down and the sunny morning greets all four of them

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back on the road and raring to go.

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Another sunny day! Gorgeous, isn't it? There's nothing like England in the sun, or Britain in the sun.

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Yeah.

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COUGHS Idyllic(!)

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But the drive's sent Graeme and Tim wandering down memory lane.

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It takes you back to the Goodies filming here. I remember once when Bill arrived late in the morning

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to say he had just seen whatever it was in a reserve.

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Bill quote often used to arrange our locations around his birdwatching interests, didn't he?

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Yes. He'd get the producer to go somewhere where he'd see a very interesting small grey bird.

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You buy that, I'll buy them, see who does best. We're on the same team!

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Whilst Tim and Will have been significantly more scattercash,

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spending a whopping ?315 on four lots.

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The warming stool,

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the nautical painting,

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the wooden club and the stalker's telescope.

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Where are you taking me, Will? This is one of my favourite lay-bys.

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That's why it's always so busy. How lovely! They're heading to meet Tim and Graeme.

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They're good value, those two. They've been working together now for 40-odd years.

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Can you imagine us pootling about in a Triumph Vitesse in 40 years'? I can't see that happening.

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We might be wandering in circles wondering what we're doing. So completely different from now(!)

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which was once home to the Monster Raving Loony Party.

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What better place for our madcap duos to get back on the hunt? Tim's got the hang of that car now.

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He has indeed. I hope the brakes work!

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How are we? Terrific. We've just been badmouthing both of you.

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I don't feel so bad about us badmouthing you now.

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Good to see you again. Morning, Phil.

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Tim and Will are heading into their first shop of the day, Etc Etc.

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That's the name of the shop. They're meeting dealer Robert. Hi. Hi, Robert. Will.

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Lovely shop you have here. Thanks. Is it OK to have a wander? There's more upstairs.

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Indeed there is. There's plenty to keep them occupied.

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It feels like one of those programmes about properties. Heaven forfend!

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It's not big enough!

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Tell me about it, Tim. Remembering the telescope they bought yesterday,

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they've spotted a walking stick topped with an antler handle

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and are thinking of combining them into a job lot. The stick's ticketed at ?30.

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At that sort of money, we could knock him down. If it doesn't eat too much of our budget...

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It's not "deer". Oh, dear. Leave it alone. Boom-boom-tish!

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Anyone got a trombone?

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What did you have for breakfast?!

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Speaking of country life, they've soon spotted something else with a strong flavour of the bucolic.

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Oh, look at that. It does look rather splendid. A pitchfork.

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I do like that, actually. Yeah.

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Do you think this mark here...? It looks Japanese. Yeah.

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So it's almost... That's one of our possibilities. Maybes.

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Best get downstairs and speak to Robert. Look what we found.

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Hurry up, chaps. Here comes trouble.

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You come near us...! Out you go!

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It's a great shop. Where are you shopping? Tesco's.

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Ah, Phil, other supermarkets are available.

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We were told you were coming, so we picked up the nearest things. A bit of misdirection there, Tim.

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But Phil's already spotted something that's taken his eye.

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(Do you like that light?)

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How much do you think...? But before he can do anything about it...

0:29:250:29:29

Are you going to leave us to it? We'll be back. See you in a while.

0:29:290:29:33

If they say, "What's the best?", double it. Then add a nought.

0:29:330:29:55

Lucky that comes to ?85! But everyone knows you'll be kind and do us a bit of a deal.

0:29:550:30:02

I'm never known for my kindness. Oh, dear!

0:30:020:30:06

I may be able to help a little bit. I will do it for 40. It doesn't belong to me so I don't rally care!

0:30:060:30:13

I don't know... I'm warming to him!

0:30:130:30:18

So that could be 40 and this one can be 20. That's ?60 the two.

0:30:180:30:22

So we've got 25 quid to spend on women and wine and song.

0:30:220:30:27

Not on my watch, sonny! That's Road Trip cash.

0:30:270:30:31

But they've secured a good deal on the stick and pitchfork.

0:30:310:30:35

Rob, it's been really kind of you to have us. Thank you. Good luck.

0:30:350:30:39

Meanwhile, Graeme and Philip have wandered over to another shop, The Shambles.

0:30:410:30:46

Let's hope they're anything but as they meet dealer Paula.

0:30:460:31:06

She's a big, strong girl. Hey, watch your hands there, Phil. Honestly.

0:31:060:31:11

Do you like that? Stand behind it and put your head over the...

0:31:110:31:17

But he's soon spotted another item which also takes his fancy.

0:31:180:31:23

What would you pay for that?

0:31:230:31:25

I would only pay about a fiver for that. OK.

0:31:250:31:29

That's 53 quid too much money. That's ?58. I think that's quite a cool chair.

0:31:290:31:35

It is. You wouldn't sit on it, though. Not without a lot of work.

0:31:350:31:40

Mm. I'm not sure Graeme's convinced.

0:31:400:31:43

How old is that?

0:31:430:31:46

That's a very awkward question!

0:31:460:31:49

It's trying to be regency. But I don't think it is.

0:31:490:31:52

It's a wrought-iron garden chair, modelled in the regency style of the early 19th century,

0:31:520:32:14

Graeme... Your heart is set on this, isn't it?

0:32:140:32:17

Have a seat. Sit down. Now tell me your problems. Very good.

0:32:170:32:22

Yeah. Tell me what colour my back is when I get up.

0:32:220:32:26

It's like a criss-cross. No, it's a good garden chair.

0:32:270:32:31

What's that one? You've got 58 on it.

0:32:310:32:35

The very best to you would be 45. Phil definitely seems to see something in it that Graeme doesn't,

0:32:350:32:42

but again Graeme's willing to trust him. Now, discount?

0:32:420:32:46

Can I give you 30 quid for it? No, you can't! We said 45. 40 would be the best.

0:32:460:32:51

What do you reckon? Worth it?

0:32:510:32:54

Do you think it'll do all right? I think it should. She would say that.

0:32:540:32:58

Lovely. Thank you very much. Deal done, then, at ?40.

0:32:580:33:03

Thank you. Bye-bye now. But that buy seems to have put the scent of bargains in their nostrils.

0:33:030:33:23

It's a 20th century fire hydrant remodelled into a standard lamp.

0:33:230:33:27

Ticket price is ?155. Too much.

0:33:270:33:31

155.

0:33:320:33:34

And that's tested and all ready to go?

0:33:340:33:38

I love that. Do you? Yes.

0:33:400:33:43

So they're in agreement on liking that and browsing on. Do you want to try it on?

0:33:430:33:49

You don't get away that easily, Phil. See a hat, try it on. You know the rule.

0:33:490:33:55

How's that? That's very good.

0:33:550:33:57

It gives a new meaning to the term mounted police.

0:33:570:34:01

If all else fails, we've got the vaulting horse. And Graeme's found items upstairs

0:34:010:34:07

which have him "Russian" to get Phil's opinion.

0:34:070:34:11

What do you think of these pictures? The little silhouettes? Yeah. They're quite sweet. They're a series.

0:34:110:34:32

and in a style somewhat similar to that of 19th-century French satirist Caran d'Ache.

0:34:320:34:39

It says ?155 on the ticket. Do you like those?

0:34:390:34:42

I like them because I like cartoons and...

0:34:420:34:47

These are really well done.

0:34:470:34:50

Time for a word with Robert. In the generous mood I am in, they could be ?120,

0:34:500:34:57

which isn't a lot of money, is it? I like your style.

0:34:570:35:00

And what about the fire hydrant cum lamp they're also keen on?

0:35:000:35:05

What's the best you could do on that? That's about the same price as this. Yeah, 155 that was.

0:35:050:35:11

Normally I would say about 130 would be the best.

0:35:110:35:16

Because the sun's shining, maybe I'll let you have it for ?100. Do the two for 200? Go on, then.

0:35:180:35:24

I'm going to pay the man

0:35:240:35:45

has been a market town since the 13th century.

0:35:450:35:49

Not to be outdone by the other team's investigations into whimsical West Country pioneers,

0:35:490:35:56

they're keen to learn about an 18th-century invention devised by a courageous British eccentric,

0:35:560:36:03

in this case at the vanguard of early deep sea diving.

0:36:030:36:07

Hello! Sorry about the dramatic entrance there.

0:36:070:36:11

They're meeting Newton Abbot Museum curator Felicity Cole.

0:36:110:36:14

I'm Will. How do you do? Hello, I'm Felicity. And this man you'll recognise. Sterling Moss.

0:36:140:36:20

Better dive right in.

0:36:200:36:23

Here we have a room about our local hero John Lethbridge. Lethbridge?

0:36:230:36:29

Yes, and he invented an amazing diving machine.

0:36:290:36:33

John Lethbridge was a Newton Abbot man born in 1675

0:36:330:36:55

so with the technologies available at the time it was a serious challenge. His initial experiments

0:36:550:37:01

were conducted right here in Newton Abbot.

0:37:010:37:05

He got himself into a barrel and a friend sealed him in and timed how long he could last

0:37:050:37:10

with the air in the barrel. Then he recovered and they did it again and he rolled him into his pond.

0:37:100:37:18

No. In an ordinary barrel? In an ordinary barrel. You'd have to choose a very good friend.

0:37:180:37:24

After his pond-based experiments, Lethbridge used what he'd learned

0:37:250:37:30

to commission a custom-built diving machine, still looking like a barrel.

0:37:300:37:35

He was actually lowered down almost flat on his belly. Yes. You can see the rope.

0:37:350:37:42

He could last, he says, for half an hour in the barrel. Really?

0:37:420:38:06

His exploits eventually made him wildly wealthy.

0:38:060:38:10

One of the traditional, I suppose, British eccentrics. Exactly.

0:38:100:38:15

Hurrah! Like this one between us. Hurrah! Hurrah!

0:38:150:38:19

Hurrah! The original diving engine of the 18th century was long ago lost or destroyed,

0:38:190:38:25

but the museum has a replica, created from drawings of the era.

0:38:250:38:30

Local carpenter Nick Hunt recreated the legendary machine.

0:38:300:38:34

So you're Nick. I'm Nick. How do you do?

0:38:340:38:37

You're the man responsible for this rather wonderful contraption.

0:38:370:38:42

They're going to take it down to have a closer look. Careful, chaps.

0:38:420:38:47

I've done a little bit of diving. Not to the depths of... Can we get you in here?

0:38:470:38:52

You're determined, aren't you? Absolutely. Good. So am I. And so is Nick. A man possessed!

0:38:520:39:12

We've got to put this one on. Yes, we have. No question.

0:39:120:39:17

I'm slightly worried that you couldn't get it off very easily. See what it's like when it's dark.

0:39:170:39:23

What's it like in there, Will? Actually, that means up. It's OK. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.

0:39:230:39:30

Thanks very much for that. I think it's time for a cup of tea. I think so.

0:39:300:39:36

Er, guys? Guys?

0:39:360:39:39

Hello? Haha! That'll teach you to eat all the mint humbugs in the car!

0:39:390:39:45

I'll get you!

0:39:450:39:46

While those two sort that out, Phil and Graeme are on their way to their next shop,

0:39:460:39:53

but they seem to be slightly lost. Excuse me. Which way is Bovey Tracey?

0:39:530:39:58

Oh, lord... Hold on. Oh, that can't be Bovey Tracey. No.

0:39:590:40:23

Yes. Thank you very much.

0:40:230:40:25

Phil already knows dealer Tina.

0:40:250:40:28

Are you keeping well? Not bad. He'll be hoping to talk her into giving them a bargain.

0:40:280:40:34

Ah! Another legendary comedy threesome. Comedy heroes.

0:40:340:40:39

On your Marx! Let's get browsing.

0:40:390:40:42

Isn't this Tim Brooke-Taylor up here? Is that him there? It comes from London.

0:40:460:40:52

It could well be. I think it is him.

0:40:520:40:54

It could be him. 1917. That would be about right, wouldn't it?

0:40:540:40:59

Soon enough, Graeme's spotted something that's just his cuppa.

0:41:000:41:04

# I'm a teapot I'm a teapot... #

0:41:040:41:07

It's a tea set by Picquot ware, a distinctive manufacturer, popular in the mid-20th century.

0:41:070:41:31

Can we buy them off you for 20 quid? That's too low.

0:41:310:41:35

I tell you what, my best shot here would be 25.

0:41:350:41:39

Cos I think they're going to make 30-50.

0:41:390:41:44

If they go and make 30 quid, by the time... 28. I'll compromise.

0:41:440:41:48

What do you think?

0:41:490:41:52

I think somebody might.

0:41:520:41:54

You can have ?28, but do we get a cup of tea and a cake? Of course.

0:41:540:41:59

Thank you very much indeed! Deal. A cup of cha thrown in.

0:41:590:42:04

And they're all bought up!

0:42:040:42:06

Oh.

0:42:080:42:09

'I'm a coffee percolator. I've changed my mind.'

0:42:140:42:17

Now both teams have their buys. Time for our tussling teams to reveal their purchases to each other.

0:42:190:42:44

Yeah, they're in the style of Caran d'Ache, who was an artist around about the turn of the century.

0:42:440:42:51

I think they're drawn for illustration. There's crayon, blue, in the sky,

0:42:510:42:57

which is an instruction to the printer. He'd take a photogravure of the black.

0:42:570:43:03

- The blue wouldn't show up. - We're the so-called celebrities! Not the experts!

0:43:030:43:09

You've got a secret weapon here. Smarty pants! You don't fancy a job as an antiques expert, Graeme?

0:43:090:43:15

You're putting these two to shame. Do you like my column?

0:43:150:43:20

I'm loving your column. If you've got a marble bust or a nice bronze you want to show off, there it is.

0:43:200:43:26

There is one more. What's under here? Who have you kidnapped?

0:43:260:43:31

- You might have seen this before. - We have!

0:43:310:43:52

It was worth it just for that.

0:43:520:43:55

Very good, Philip. Now it's Tim and Will's turn.

0:43:550:43:59

What on earth is that?! What? This? Like a prehistoric false hip!

0:43:590:44:04

It has got something of the dinosaur bone about it, hasn't it? Lob it over.

0:44:040:44:10

It's a real tactile... It's a great bit of wood.

0:44:100:44:14

That was nearly your painting! It's a funky thing. What did you pay for it?

0:44:150:44:21

Mm, we ended up buying three items from this shop. We've worked it out that each item is about 100 quid.

0:44:210:44:28

So what did you spend? We spent 300 quid in this shop.

0:44:280:44:32

That's not about. It's exactly.

0:44:320:44:35

You're right! Who's the 'scope by?

0:44:350:44:37

Unfortunately, it hasn't got a maker's name, but it's impressive.

0:44:370:45:03

- I think, between us, we've done well. - If it was all in one shop...

0:45:030:45:09

We'd have saved a lot of legwork! Don't be so lazy, Will!

0:45:090:45:13

But now that they've had a peek, what do they really think?

0:45:130:45:18

He will be laughing uproariously at our garden chair.

0:45:180:45:22

I don't think he rates that at all.

0:45:220:45:26

I can't believe it's worth anything!

0:45:260:45:29

If somebody sets fire to their log, we've got the ability to put it out! But would we? No!

0:45:290:45:35

We're in the hands of the auctioneer now. Yeah. It's out of our hands.

0:45:350:45:40

Would we swap any of our items for theirs? Yeah.

0:45:400:45:43

I think for me the answer is no. The only thing I'd swap is Will for you, I suppose.

0:45:430:45:50

On this southwestern odyssey, they began in Paignton, Devon,

0:45:500:46:13

A nasty button cut. You two are sharp as a button.

0:46:130:46:16

Who do you think is the best expert, apart from us, of course?

0:46:160:46:21

I think we've taught them a thing or two. They'll be very grateful. Quite right, Graeme. Modest, too.

0:46:210:46:28

Picturesque Cirencester is known as the capital of the Cotswolds.

0:46:300:46:34

They're nearly at the auction house and Graeme's feeling confident about his items.

0:46:370:46:42

How do you feel about it? Quietly confident.

0:46:420:46:47

You seemed quite noisily confident! We've got some very good lots.

0:46:470:46:51

I do very like the sea painting.

0:46:510:46:55

Your sea painting? Yeah. A whale by W Hale.

0:46:550:47:00

It's W Hale, not a whale! That's how I interpreted a signature.

0:47:000:47:20

They've arrived at the rather poetically named sale room of Moore Allen and Innocent.

0:47:200:47:26

Tim's just discovered that a photo of one of Graeme's favourite pen and ink drawings graces

0:47:260:47:32

the front of the auction catalogue. Have you had a word?

0:47:320:47:35

Ha ha ha! With this front page publicity and the auction welcoming bids online,

0:47:350:47:42

let's hope they have the best of all chances.

0:47:420:47:46

Winning! Presiding over proceedings today is auctioneer Philip J Allwood.

0:47:460:47:52

?20. Five now. At 25.

0:47:520:47:55

What does he make of the lots?

0:47:550:47:58

The urn stand is a very stylish thing from another era. It should do around ?100, ?150 or so.

0:47:580:48:05

The club is probably one of the more interesting ones.

0:48:050:48:10

and also have five lots to show for it. That'll do nicely. It's a winner.

0:48:310:48:36

204. The Picquot ware tea set. Oh, Goodie!

0:48:360:48:41

The sale's about to begin.

0:48:410:48:43

First up. It's the mid-century Picquot ware tea service, which Graeme spotted.

0:48:430:48:49

Will the punters fancy a sip? I've got to stay at 30.

0:48:490:48:53

At ?30. Five anywhere?

0:48:530:48:55

At ?30. Five. 40. At 45.

0:48:550:48:59

50. At 50 with me. At ?50. Five anywhere?

0:48:590:49:02

That's a good price. Very tasty. On the book at 60. Five anywhere?

0:49:020:49:07

At ?60. Here on the book at ?60.

0:49:070:49:09

All sure and selling here at 60. Are you all done?

0:49:090:49:13

What a start! Yeah, really good.

0:49:130:49:17

Really good. Pleased with that.

0:49:170:49:20

And the first for Tim and Will now as their Japanese pitchfork pitches up.

0:49:200:49:38

At ?35. All done at 35?

0:49:380:49:41

Sadly, it doesn't make hay today. Here we go.

0:49:430:49:47

It looks good on the screen.

0:49:470:49:50

Now it's Graeme and Phil's weighty job lot of cast-iron railing and wrought-iron garden chair.

0:49:500:49:56

Have we got a phone on this? OK, at 60. I'll take five now.

0:49:560:50:02

The chair's worth more than that. Five can I say now? Five. 70.

0:50:020:50:06

Five. 80. At 80 with me.

0:50:060:50:09

At ?80. Five anywhere now? At ?80. Five on the phone?

0:50:090:50:13

At ?80 I have. Five? No?

0:50:130:50:16

At ?80. It's here. And five. 90.

0:50:160:50:19

Back with me at ?90. Five anywhere?

0:50:190:50:21

At ?90. Are you all sure? Selling here at 90.

0:50:210:50:25

Terrific! And they widen their lead.

0:50:260:50:30

Now Tim and Will's portable warming stool. Can it heat up their game?

0:50:300:50:51

At ?20. That's the scrap value.

0:50:510:50:54

Five now? At ?20. Got to be cheap. Five now?

0:50:540:50:58

Right in front of me at ?20. Five anywhere?

0:50:580:51:01

?20. Quite a cool response. Selling here. At ?20.

0:51:010:51:05

You all sure? Not another bid? Surely! It's selling then.

0:51:050:51:09

All done at a minor ?20?

0:51:090:51:13

Despite some very thorough auctioneering, the bid doesn't travel far.

0:51:130:51:19

Oh, dear. He was trying hard.

0:51:190:51:22

Now it's Graeme and Phil's fire extinguisher turned standard lamp.

0:51:220:51:27

The extinguisher standard lamp. A most unusual lot, you'll agree.

0:51:270:51:32

?50? 30 to get on.

0:51:320:51:35

It's not on fire. ?20? No firemen in here? Oh, dear.

0:51:360:52:02

At ?30. Selling here on the 'net. Are you all sure? At ?30. All done?

0:52:020:52:08

Oh, Phil! And that's entirely extinguished their profit.

0:52:080:52:13

Tim and Will's wooden caveman's club is up now.

0:52:130:52:17

It put Tim in mind of a Goodies sketch, but will it clobber the opposition?

0:52:170:52:23

A club of The Goodies!

0:52:230:52:27

Disappointed I haven't heard anyone humming the theme tune.

0:52:270:52:31

CROWD HUM TUNE

0:52:310:52:32

There we go. There had to be one. So the club there.

0:52:320:52:36

Good-looking piece.

0:52:360:52:38

Well, in a way. And I mean the club,

0:52:380:52:42

not somebody who looks like he's been hit with it. Start me. ?50?

0:52:420:52:47

Surely. A good piece of nostalgia. ?50?

0:52:470:53:07

55. 60. Surely! At ?60 here.

0:53:070:53:10

At 60. At ?60, you all done?

0:53:100:53:14

Some more hard work from Philip, but bidders don't see the funny side. We got away with that.

0:53:160:53:22

Another from Graeme and Phil now as their Russian pen and ink drawings face the room.

0:53:240:53:31

Good luck, gents. Cracking little set, this.

0:53:310:53:34

I hope it goes quite well.

0:53:340:53:37

Start me at ?100 for the set. Got to be cheap at 100.

0:53:370:53:40

?100?

0:53:400:53:42

50 to get on, then. It's got to be 50 to get on, hasn't it?

0:53:420:53:48

?30? 30 all over the place. Five if you like. Five.

0:53:480:53:51

40. Five. 50.

0:53:510:53:54

Five. 60.

0:53:540:53:56

At ?60. Got to be cheap. Five.

0:53:560:54:18

Clearly they aren't what the punters are looking for today.

0:54:180:54:23

You were 30-odd quid up. I reckon you've more or less broken even. That's where we are.

0:54:230:54:29

Tim and Will have the competition in their sights now

0:54:290:54:34

with the deerstalker's telescope and antler walking stick.

0:54:340:54:38

Here we go. Everything you need for a day out in the Cotswolds.

0:54:380:54:42

He's got what we were coming for. A day out.

0:54:420:54:46

Start me at 50.

0:54:460:54:48

?30, then. At ?30 a bid. Five. 40.

0:54:480:54:51

There's a man who knows his telescopes. 70.

0:54:510:54:55

At ?70 at the back. And another. Anyone now? At ?70.

0:54:550:55:00

At ?70 in the room. We're going to take a hit here, Tim. Are you all sure? At ?70.

0:55:000:55:07

And any chance of a profit gambols off into the undergrowth.

0:55:070:55:27

At ?100. 100. 110 if you like now.

0:55:270:55:29

At ?100. 110. 120. A solid start. 130. 140.

0:55:290:55:34

150. 160. At 160. 170 if you like.

0:55:340:55:38

170, he says. At 180 now? At 170 on the left.

0:55:380:55:42

170. 180 anywhere now then?

0:55:420:55:44

170.

0:55:440:55:47

What a performance and that's put them back in the black.

0:55:470:55:51

Well done. 170. Good price.

0:55:510:55:53

- Very well done indeed(!) - Tim looks pleased with that.

0:55:530:55:58

And, finally, for Tim and Will it's the much loved painting by W Hale, not of a whale.

0:55:580:56:05

It's a long shot, but can this save their day?

0:56:050:56:09

A good little piece. Who'll start me at 50?

0:56:090:56:12

?50?

0:56:120:56:14

?30 to get on? 20, then?

0:56:140:56:18

At ?20. 320. Five.

0:56:180:56:36

65 here. It's at 70. ?70 on the 'net. Five.

0:56:360:56:41

Go on, go on. ?75 on the 'net.

0:56:410:56:44

80 in the room if you like. At ?75 here.

0:56:440:56:47

That's a cheap picture at 75 quid. And ?80.

0:56:470:56:51

Go on, keep going. At ?80.

0:56:510:56:53

At ?80. It's on the 'net. Five now?

0:56:530:56:56

At ?80. Still look cheap. 85. 90 now?

0:56:560:57:00

It's creeping up. Doing well.

0:57:000:57:03

At ?85. You sure?

0:57:030:57:05

- Selling, make no mistake, at 85. - Oh, no!

0:57:050:57:09

85.

0:57:090:57:11

Ah, what a shame. They're sunk.

0:57:120:57:15

Well done, well done.

0:57:150:57:18

Philip, well done.

0:57:180:57:20

So Graeme and Phil had the last laugh today.

0:57:200:57:25

Tim and Will began this Road Trip with ?400.

0:57:250:57:51

?404.60.

0:57:510:57:53

So no one's actually covered themselves in glory.

0:57:530:57:58

Look at these two! Not good, is it?

0:57:580:58:02

We ended up in profit. Fantastic!

0:58:020:58:06

We'll leave these gents to it, shall we? See you, chaps! Bye bye!

0:58:060:58:11

But at least they've had a laugh. On your trike, everyone!

0:58:110:58:15

And the profits from this series go to Children In Need. Every little helps, eh?

0:58:150:58:20

Two of the three Goodies, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden, get back into character as they pair up with antiques experts Will Axon and Philip Serrell, and take to the road in Devon in a classic car each with £400 and a mission to buy items to sell at auction for a profit. On their road trip, the celebrities enter the world of two eccentric local inventors.


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