Episode 7 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

Some of the nation's favourite celebrities.

Why have I got such expensive taste?

One antiques expert each.

Oh, great.

And one big challenge - who can seek out

and buy the best antiques at the very best prices.

Answers on a postcard.

And auction for a big profit further down the road.

I say. It's an absolute charm.

Who will spot the good investment?

Who will listen to advice? Do you like it?

No, I think it's horrible.

And who will be the first to say, "Don't you know who I am?"

Well done, us.

Time to put your pedal to the metal.

This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Cornwall, famous for its pasties

and rugged coastline, hosts today's Road Trip.

Ready for battle are two telly pals -

Hermione Norris and John Thomson.

Roof down? Yes.

But they're not off to the best start

in their classic 1989 Jaguar XJS.

It's unhooked, isn't it? Yes. Off. Off.

He's broken the car. Oh, dear.

Ever the dedicated actor, John will be employing the method technique

today as he takes on the role of an antiques expert.

I've got the subterfuge of tweed to suggest I'm an antiques expert.

I thought he was an antiques man when I met him.

She didn't recognise me.

She thought I was a genuine antiques expert.

Looking the part is half the battle, John.

Yay.

Lancastrian funnyman John started as a writer in '80s' satire

Spitting Image before appearing onscreen in the likes

of The Fast Show and Men Behaving Badly.

So I think by wearing a little bit of tweed, I'll have the upper hand.

Hermione's investigative skills should help her on this Road Trip.

She's been in crime-solving dramas for over 20 years.

Poirot, Wire In The Blood and as super spy Ros Myers in Spooks.

There is of course one show that we remember them both from...

There's such an affection for Cold Feet

because I say it's before TV went bad.

I hope present company is not included, John.

He won our hearts as the hapless Pete Gifford

and Hermione was posh totty Karen Marsden.

Well, hello.

What's your field of expertise in antiques?

I don't have any. I am clueless.

I really like to go into a shop that is an Aladdin's cave.

I don't think you're going to find that.

Are we not? I don't know.

Well, to find an Aladdin's cave you'll need an antiques genie,

or in this case two -

Mark Stacey and Catherine Southon.

They're driving another icon of British motoring -

a 1960 Morris Minor.

But Mark's thinking bigger.

I want the Jaguar.

You want?

You mean, "I would like." Oh!

SHE SCREAMS

Stop! I was so excited.

For god's sake.

I was so excited.

Carry on like this, Mark, and you won't be driving anything.

Thank you.

You almost killed me then, Mark.

Whilst Catherine's weak with fear, Mark seizes the advantage.

I'm having Hermione.

Are you having her? Not literally.

Catherine, I think you'll be much better with John.

That's the teams decided then.

Catherine began her career by cataloguing sales at Sotheby's.

Working her way up to up to Head Of Scientific Instruments

And Maritime Works Of Art.

She's not afraid to flirt for a bargain.

You've got lovely eyes.

And her eye is pretty well trained too.

Oh, the pressure! The pressure!

Welsh wizard Mark's been in the business over 20 years

as a dealer, valuer and auctioneer.

Ever the optimist.

Oh, it's going to be one of those days.

He's known as Magpie Mark,

always spotting shiny bargains.

That's got to double its money, really.

Our veterans are already getting into the spirit of the contest.

You're not going to be all competitive, are you, Catherine?

I'm not competitive!

I'm not! Oh, my good Lord.

I'm not. That's like saying,

Attila the Hun works for the United Nations Peacekeeping force.

The teams have two days of antiques shopping ahead

with ?400 in their pockets.

Their aim - to strike the kind of deals that will make them

loads of dosh at auction.

And so to battle at the Port of Charlestown.

It's two days of finding antiques

and doing deals around Cornwall before road tripping

the 300 miles to that all-important auction in London.

Kicking off in sunny Charlestown, Mark's already decided he's

with Hermione and he's not giving up on the Jag either.

Hello, Hermione.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

HERMIONE: Which car are we going in?

I think we should have this one.

I think we definitely should have this one.

We're having the Jag. Thanks, John, see you.

Thank you, John. Wouldn't want to be you.

Ha, that's not very sporting, you pair.

You're driving.

CATHERINE: Come on. Come on.

HERMIONE: See you, Miss Marple. No racing.

Catherine doesn't seem to mind though.

I've got a feeling that you're going to be so cool throughout this.

Look at you with your shades, hands in pockets.

What sort of thing are you going to buy? What are you looking for?

I like curious things.

Something with a bit of interest as opposed to a silver salver.

But you'd be surprised what a silver salver might make.

What you like on salvers?

I'm not bad on salvers, but I think you and I come from the same sort

of thing cos I like something that's not just pretty,

it's not just aesthetically pleasing, it does something else.

You and I are going to get on famously. Great.

Come on, John, let's get going.

In the Jag, en route to their first shop,

it's lesson one in antique hunting.

If you put into an auction,

you want to find something that is a little bit different,

quirky and look as if it's just come from a house clearing

or something like that.

Sounds rather morbid, doesn't it?

Something that's going to appeal to the mass-market.

Thus our trip today.

We want to find something that looks like

it's literally just come out of somebody's house? Absolutely.

Lesson one accomplished.

I think we should buy that.

Ah, maybe not then.

A phone box/bath combo, I think

she needs a few more lessons before Mark lets her loose with their ?400.

I'm Mark, lovely to meet you.

Neil Martin has run Eden Reclamation for ten years.

It was his passion for reclaiming

and reinstating period features that kicked it all off.

You could say his hobby became his livelihood.

Do you have just outside things or do you have antiques as well?

Antiques as well. Great. Those are inside.

Keen to learn, Hermione's quick to put Mark to the test.

What's that china then?

That's not terribly old.

Blue and white, I love blue and white.

Probably 1950s.

Listen to that!

Yeah, just amazing.

These are rather sweet.

I think that will probably be Masons Ironstone.

No flies on him.

I find that fascinating that he knew all that.

I'd love to be able to know that.

Do you know how clever that is?

That's clever.

Well, he is a clever boy.

Whilst Hermione's learning the tricks of the trade,

Catherine and John saunter to their first shop.

Nice bunting.

Lovely bunting.

Makes me think it's going to be pricey.

Time to put those bargaining skills to good use then.

Photographer Mick and artist wife Sarah only recently opened

the Sail Loft Emporium

having refurbished this former gunpowder store.

It now houses items from 40 traders specialising in arts and crafts.

There are some really good prices here. Are there?

If you know your stuff, John, you'll see.

Yeah, you'll be fine.

That's as long as you've got plenty of 17th-century silver.

Very good, John, you're talking the antique talk.

Let's see if you can walk the walk.

I was immediately drawn to this jewellery box here.

It comes in at a measly ?750.

That's all very well, John,

but if you're going to pull off this role,

you'll have to hunt down those bargains.

Tiffany cup and saucer.

Tiffany? Yeah. OK.

"Minton cup and sauce." I thought you said Tiffany?

It is, "Marked Tiffany New York."

The pattern's mismatched.

Well spotted.

It says that on the label as well.

It's kind of like learning your lines, John.

Of course I noticed that anyway.

This, the antique rose gold horseshoe, it's a cigar cutter.

That's quite nice.

You've got quite expensive taste.

This horseshoe-shaped rose gold cigar cutter

has an articulated hanging loop for hanging on a watch chain.

Quite the accessory for a 19th-century gent about town.

We've got this marked...

..at 95.

We'll do that one for 70, and that's it.

If it weren't for the missing nail, I'd definitely go for it.

But we are drawn to the...

Something else. This.

Good tactics, John, put together a job lot.

Expertly done.

I'd think that would look good on a Goth.

On a what? A Goth.

Why would it look nice on a Goth? They wear black and purple.

I think a Goth could snap that up.

You might try for a slightly wider audience.

We don't have to decide now,

we can have a walk around and then see what we think.

Fine. We'll just leave that cabinet open.

Come back to it later.

That's two potential trinkets for John and Catherine.

But have Hermione and Mark spotted anything at the reclamation yard?

Oh, gosh, I like this.

Do you really? I do.

Whether we'll find anything for our challenge, I don't know.

What's this?

I don't know.

I really think that's quite funky.

In a kitchen, you could use that as a little reminder of

what you need shopping.

With a chalk pen you could write "eggs".

It's just a little bit funky. Yeah, I like that.

Shall we put that as a possibility? Yes.

Let's put that down on the chair there.

I thought that's really quite nice.

With the plaque put aside, Hermione is still keen to learn as ever.

Something there. What's that?

It's upside down.

It's Australian.

Is it? No. It's upside down.

Do try and keep up, Hermione.

It was upside down.

Antique experts are a funny lot, Hermione,

but not as funny as they think they are.

This might be worth examining.

How much do you think this is worth?

I don't know. I suspect it's quite a bit.

This Edwardian oak and leather doctor's consulting couch

was made by WH Bailey of London.

Bailey and Sons specialised in medical items

and had showrooms on Oxford Street and the Strand from 1894.

Looks like it's a mahogany base

with very simple turned layers, but I even like this old leather on it.

Cos you wouldn't do anything with it, just polish it up.

You could lie on it and be shrunk by somebody.

Yes. You could.

The good thing is we've got several options already brewing.

And if we do buy any of those,

we both might need to go to lie down in a darkened room and...

Recover.

Time for Hermione to try out her new antiquing skills on Neil.

We're quite mad, you know, we really are.

And this battered up piece of old nonsense.

How much is that?

?200.

We are so close.

?100.

Don't leap in too early, dear.

Hermione's right in there.

Mark's teaching is rubbing off.

?100 is a nice round figure, isn't it?

What would be the very, very best on that?

To give you room to make a bit of money, ?120.

We couldn't get it down to 100?

Go on, for me.

Could we, do you think?

Cos you don't really want it here.

Go on, then. Are you sure? Yeah.

You're an angel. Thank you.

Oh, look at that.

Are you happy with that? I am.

I think that's absolutely fantastic.

Shall I tell you something, if I had chosen an item,

I would have gone for a consultant's chair.

That's really good.

Really?

Who'd have thought.

First deal done is ?100.

That's half the ticket price.

Impressive.

Can Neil explain the postage item?

Where did that come from?

Originally it's a postage stamp machine. A what?

Postage stamp machine.

Oh, so you would have a box here?

Ticket dispense would have gone in there.

And then, they blank them off when they're not in use.

I think that's rather fun.

I thought it might go as a little lot with our little letter

cos we're dealing with postage, aren't we? Yes.

What have you got on those?

?40 for the stamp machine.

A tenner for the letters.

What do you think?

Just land you in it, I'm terrible at this.

30? 25?

Huh, you're just saying numbers now.

20. 45.

This is not my forte.

Don't be so hard on yourself, girl, you're doing great.

40 would be comfortable,

and I feel like I'm giving you the letter box for nothing.

35.

30 would be lovely as a round figure, wouldn't it?

It's round, we like round.

30.

And we might find something else. Go on.

I'll leave you some room to make some profit.

Thank you very much.

Oh, that's lovely.

Is there anything else that caught our eye?

I think we're on a winning streak here.

Yup, you're certainly on a roll, that's ?100 for the consulting chair

and ?30 for the 19th-century stamp dispenser with letter box.

And they're not the only ones who are getting deals done.

Back at the Sail Loft Emporium, Catherine's got

the owner of the brooch on the phone.

Is there any way you could go down to about 60 on that?

Is the cigar cutter yours as well?

We do quite like that as well.

OK. Thank you very much indeed.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

The pin, I think it was 70, but you might want to double-check on that.

What she did say about the cigar cutter is that

she would come down to 60 on that.

Oh, hello.

I've seen something that I really like round this corner.

Hang on, we've lost John.

The collapsible drinking cup.

Oh, yes, I've seen those.

That is nice, that's like Tiffany cups, that.

Hang on, he's off again.

He's interested in something else now.

There's no stopping him. I'm on a roll now.

Before I was mooching, now I'm having a proper full-on browse.

If John can just keep still for a minute,

they might actually buy something.

No? Yeah, I quite like it.

We could put it with our brooch.

You mean, you take two items and you put them together?

Yeah. And make one lot. Yeah.

I'm going for very manly things, have you noticed? I have.

I might have to camp up a bit

and go for something a little bit more feminine.

He's really getting into character now.

Well done, John.

You've got the antiques expert pose down to a T look.

I'd like to get both and the deer, kind of Monarch Of The Glen brooch.

If we could do a deal on these two,

so 60 on that and what would you want to pay for that?

120, 60 apiece.

Go on.

Time for John to take the stage.

We've got a proposal for you.

I don't like that look, John.

We'd like to take both. We're going to say...

What was it? 120 for the two.

I think that's very fair.

And if you give me that, I'll buy the Monarch of the Glen brooch

for a tenner off you.

I'll do that price if you do that at the marked price.

Shall we say 130?

OK. Are you happy with that?

I'm cool with that.

Take a bow, John.

First deal done like a pro.

Can you throw in this child's crash helmet.

Suits you, John.

After some intense negotiation,

John and Catherine have bought a rose gold cigar cutter for ?60,

a 1920s' silver pin brooch also for ?60

and the stag's head brooch for a tenner.

They're done here.

Back at the reclamation yard, it's reached that time of day.

Anyone for a cocktail? You could mix gin and tonic in that.

Would you mix your gin and tonic in there?

We'd have up to there with gin.

And then one small drop of tonic.

I'll have mine shaken thanks, not stirred.

That's cocktail hour over. Back to work.

This is really old-fashioned, isn't it?

It's beautiful.

It's a Victorian mahogany cot with turned spindles

and original China castors.

Drop-sided cots like this were actually banned in

the USA for safety reasons.

Ready? One, two, three.

Throw baby in.

And then guillotine it. That's it.

Stay in there.

Not allowed out.

I reckon this is about 1860, 1870.

Do you think we should buy it?

I think it's great. Do you like it?

It's a beautiful thing.

It's a thing of beauty, isn't it?

And I think it's very unusual.

Neil.

Can I just ask you...

how much for this?

200.

?200.

But what would you use it for?

I'm struggling at the moment.

I think there must be somebody out there

who would think of a way of using this.

No-one in here though.

If you took that completely off...it's quite nice and comfy.

Comfy? Yeah.

Let's have a look.

Maybe I'm just being stupid, but I love it.

I would like to see the auctioneer

having as much an imagination as me

and saying it's worth maybe...

200 to 300, 300 to 400.

Hermione doesn't seem to be too sure about the cot-turned-couch idea.

Maybe a good price would convince her.

I'm having trouble convincing Hermione.

I love it.

What's your really, really, really best price.

Two happy people...

Please, to make two very happy people...

Very, very, very, very happy people.

Is that too much? No, it's very good.

I'll do this for 120.

Which then, we've spend 250.

Is that good? Fantastic. Thank you.

I can't thank you enough.

Well done. A good deal all round.

Thank you. You have really made us happy.

You really have.

Having spent the day in Charlestown,

marine enthusiast Catherine has invited John to dive into

the colourful and unexpected past of this historic port town.

Pleased to meet you. John. Lovely to meet you.

They're meeting Roy Rodriguez,

from the Shipwreck And Heritage Centre,

who starts by enlightening them on how the town got its name.

It's all to do with a man named Charles Rashleigh, cos in 1790,

there were nine fishermen here in the village

and he could see a need for a harbour and by 1794,

there were 300 people living here with cottages

and they changed the name form West Porthmear to Charlestown.

Even now the locals refer to it as Charlie's town.

But it was a precious substance hidden deep in the granite rocks

all around Devon and Cornwall

that really made Charlestown name - china clay.

I'm really interested to know about the Wedgewood connection,

so he used to come here?

Yeah, he was a frequent visitor to Charlestown

cos he used to come here to select the different grades of china clay

for his pottery.

Charlestown is the oldest china clay port in the world

and here carefully preserved are the tunnels through which the china clay

from the clay pits of St Austell was transported to waiting ships.

These tracks here are

the tracks where the trolleys run along with the china clay.

Oh, I like this.

By the mid-19th century, workers were extracting

and shipping 65,000 tons of clay per year.

How many people would have been working down here?

Oh, hundreds of people.

Also working on the ships cos the ships were in and out all day.

Why china clay?

It is similar to a kind they get in China,

or is that cos of the pottery it made?

I think it's because of the pottery that it made.

But it's used for everything.

It's a bit creepy down here.

Don't worry, Catherine, John and Roy will protect you.

I must admit, I'm glad I'm with two big strong men

cos I do feel a bit vulnerable down here.

It's a bit scary.

IN A CAMP VOICE: I'm terrified of spiders. OK.

Roy will protect you.

Come on, don't leave me alone.

Catherine might be right to feel a chill as the centre also houses

a collection dedicated to the darker side of seafaring life.

All these artefacts here, they came from different shipwrecks.

Catherine was Head Of Maritime at Sotheby's, so this treasure salvaged

from shipwrecks is bound to float her boat.

Wow, so we've got the Lusitania here.

And the Medina.

But the most famous one,

which probably everyone knows, is the Titanic.

And there is a letter in this cabinet

which was from Fred Banfield.

Banfield was on board?

He was. A passenger?

He was.

And the letter is to his wife.

Did he survive? He didn't.

"Well, my darling, it is splendid weather today and mild as a pond.

"But I expect we shall have it a little rougher

"directly going across to France.

"I believe we will call it Queenstown as well."

It's really poignant, that's really sad.

Yeah, sad, really.

That's amazing.

Do you know what I love seeing? The menus.

What people had. We've got the menu just here.

The first class menu.

I love seeing...

Is that the original? Yeah.

Supper - gruel, cabin biscuits and cheese.

And a squeeze of lime to keep the scurvy away.

I sold one of those for ?17,500 once.

A menu? Yep.

Really. That size.

Oh, my God. I'm in the wrong job. I know.

Aye, me hearty.

There's treasure to be found if you know where to look.

Roy, thank you so much. That's all right, you're welcome.

Really enjoyed it, thank you. Yeah, it's been wonderful.

Thank you. Really enjoyed it.

Bye. Bye.

As you have been such a good boy today, John,

I'm going to give you ?1

and I'm going to let you have a go on the boats.

I'm going to race you.

I haven't done this for years.

Here we go.

You're going to crash into me.

It's like dodgems.

While it's playtime for those two,

Hermione's getting her half-term report.

I'm not very good at my bargaining, am I?

I don't think you've done too badly, actually.

Considering you got...

You started off offering them half, I mean,

I think that's really good, that's a good opening offer.

Gold star and top of the class.

Hermione and Mark have arrived at the Sail Loft Emporium

just as the others have left with their booty.

With a few choice buys under her belt,

Hermione's considering the competition.

I bet Catherine and John have been really canny

and really quite serious in their endeavour to...

Yes, canny and serious.

That's them all right... Not.

I think in here we've got a maybe...look more on,

"Can we make a profit on something?"

Rather than something that really hits us.

Yes. We'd love if we can, but I think that little figure,

I don't know what it's made of, do you like it?

No, I think it's horrible,

but I think if it's going to make a profit,

then that's a good thing. Can I just say one thing? I think

it's really important we understand each other,

please don't hold back, say what you feel. I will.

It's important. OK.

I'll take that on board.

He's quite grumpy, isn't he?

Very competitive.

He doesn't want Catherine to win at all, does he?

He certainly doesn't.

So, will this be the item

which ladles out disaster to the opposition?

Well, it's actually a toddy ladle...

..for pouring out your hot toddies.

It's a nice thing.

It has quite a nice feel to it, it's got the right weight feel to it.

And this is probably horn...

Right. ..from a deer or something like that,

or from a cow.

Which has been heated and spirally fluted,

with that little silver finial.

It's beautifully chased.

Hermione's certainly drinking up all this information.

(That's very interesting.)

(I think you should purchase it.)

(But not for ?70.) (No.)

(Watch out, Sarah's coming.)

Say something nice.

Sarah's got one of those lovely faces. Thank you.

How are you?

I'm very well.

You know me. And Hermione. Hello. You know our little challenge?

Yes, I do.

We've looked at this. What can you tell me about it?

I can tell you it's Georgian style, it's not hallmarked.

Well...

We quite like it.

Do you have an eye glass?

I do indeed.

You're going to use an eye glass? I am, I'm going to get technical.

Exciting!

Let's have a look. I'm going in now.

What is it telling you?

I was trying to see whether looking at it close up

would tell me if it was any better quality

than I thought at the beginning,

but it's not, to be honest with you.

I'm just not sure, Hermione.

Would you like my best price on it?

I would love your very best price.

My very, very, very best price would be ?52.

?52!

It's not round, is it? No.

That's a bit more than I was hoping for.

Do you want me to have a look through that eye glass?

Could you give me your valid opinion?

I'll give you my valid opinion.

Hermione's graduated to the eye glass.

Our little girl is all grown up. How close do you have to get?

Sorry, I think I've got something in my eye.

Oh, you are looking through the glass bit, aren't you?

It's quite, crude, isn't it?

Which suggests it might be provincial. Yes.

You're getting the hang of this.

Rookie to expert in less than a day.

Hermione and I would love to purchase something here today.

We really would.

Would say what a lovely place Charlestown is.

And we love round numbers.

We love round numbers.

We would love to say around 40.

I was going to say 35. Were you?

But I'm odd.

Should we split in the middle and say 38? 38?

It would help us a lot.

Yes, it really would.

Yes, I will go to 40, but no lower.

Now Hermione's found her feet, there's no stopping this team.

That's a silver punch ladle with an embossed bowl

and horn handle for ?40.

What a day, eh?

Hermione's such a good student she's really getting the hang of this.

Tweed man John certainly looks the part and he seems to know his stuff.

Both teams finding treasures, striking deals.

Oh, exhausting though.

Big day tomorrow.

Early to bed, you lot. Night-night.

It's the dawn of a new day.

John and Hermione have both done a cracking job of

navigating their way through the world of antiques

and they're both eager to find out how the other has done.

The things that I were personally drawn to

were just things that I were drawn to,

that wouldn't necessarily make any money, and I went,

"I like this, but I know...that it wouldn't make back

"the same money that we bought it for."

She went, "You're right." So we put it back.

What about you?

Mark's amazing.

He honestly picks up everything and just knows

if it's an engraving, who's made it,

what date things are. It's really impressive.

The experts are also assessing their eager acolytes.

How was your day yesterday?

Hermione was a bit challenging to begin with, I think.

She was a bit unsure of what she was doing.

But actually... You warmed her up, did you?

Well, I hope so. And she certainly warmed me up.

Oh, did she? Yeah, she did.

Warmed up and ready to go, we're restarting proceedings

in Cornwall's historic town of Lostwithiel.

And what a setting.

A 12th-century bridge, the River Fowey

and four very competitive road trippers.

You've got a lot of shopping to do.

We've got a lot of shopping. You haven't bought very much.

Just go. Let's go this way. Come on.

Good luck. They're going to need it.

Oh! Fighting talk, eh?

Yesterday, our teams stormed out of the blocks.

John and Catherine spent ?130 of their ?400

on two brooches and a cigar cutter.

Hermione and Mark topped that, spending a whopping ?290 on a

stamp dispenser, a consulting couch, a punch label and a cot.

Hello. Hello. Good morning, welcome.

Opened ten years ago, Uzella Court Antiques has cabinets

housing items from over a dozen dealers.

If Hermione and Mark want to go on a spending spree, this is the place.

How much have we got left, Hermione? 110. 110.

Do we want to try and blow the budget? Yes, shall we?

We might as well. Yes.

We only get one chance.

After first day at school nerves yesterday,

Hermione graduated into a confident antiques hunter.

Now could be the moment for her to go it alone.

What's that?

"A coloured pen and ink of a musical pair...

"by painter, watercolourist and illustrator Edmund Joseph Sullivan.

"RWS."

Edmund Joseph Sullivan was a prolific illustrator

between 1890 and 1920.

In 1900, he illustrated Tennyson's A Dream Of Fair Women.

I think what we'll have to do is ask the lady to get it down for us...

Yes. ..and have a proper look.

Shall I go and get her? Do you mind, Hermione?

Hermione seems really taken.

She said, "I really like that." So I think if we can get it

within our remaining budget, we should go for it, really.

The Edwardian watercolour is ticketed at ?175.

They only have ?110 left.

We've only got a certain amount of money left.

Yes, cos we...cos Mark made me buy all these things yesterday.

HE GASPS

And this is...I've been left with a meagre budget.

OK. You tell me what you've got.

I'm afraid, literally the top -

literally, literally, every single penny is 110.

That's what we've got left. That is all we have.

And this is the thing that lit up in the room,

as soon as you saw this. Yes.

It is beautiful. It's very different. I don't know the artist,

it's a very eclectic taste, it's not...

It is, it's rough and ready...

It's not something everybody's going to want. No.

But I really like it as well.

I love the colours.

I love the earthiness of it. I say yes.

Yes to 110 if you'd really like it. Vicky, thank you very much.

Yes, it is lovely. We'll shake hands.

Do you think? I think so. You really like it.

We haven't looked at anything else.

I'm with you, honestly.

Honestly? Promise.

I think that might be a disaster.

Courage, Hermione.

You've come so far, don't lose your nerve now, girl.

With Mark and Hermione all bought up,

Catherine and John have got some catching up to do.

Good morning! Hi, nice to meet you. Hello, I'm Catherine.

Nice to meet you.

Mark Royle Antiques has been trading for nine years,

since the man himself left the London advertising scene

for something more tranquil.

He specialises in individual decorative interior items.

It's a lot of interior pieces, is that what you...?

It is, I'm not traditional antiques,

I am more interior dressing pieces, really, one-off pieces.

Lovely. Well, your wife's an interior designer.

She is. So you must have an eye. I do have an eye.

Yeah? I do, yeah.

Cos she used to go propping quite a lot, so I do know a little bit.

I've inherited a bit of an eye.

I've got a good eye for colour, apparently.

But what you need now, John, is an eye for a bargain.

Oh, we could spend a fortune in here.

You've only got ?270 left, remember.

I like your horse.

The horse is lovely, isn't it? A fairground horse.

2,225. How's that in your budget?

Definitely more than ?270, eh?

I can imagine you doing a bit of morris dancing.

I'm a professional drummer.

Oh, are you? Yes. Are you? Yeah. I didn't know that. Mm. I am.

Ooh! So, you know I do jazz club on Fast Show. "Great."

I actually love jazz, genuinely. Right.

People are really shocked that I'm actually into jazz. Yeah.

But jazz-funk and jazz fusion's really my kind of music. Right.

Yeah, I bet your neighbours love you.

Time to see if John's wife's talents really have rubbed off on him.

Is decoupage where they cut it out and paste it? Yes.

Ah, she will be proud.

Why, what are you thinking?

Is that...is that that? Yeah. It is, isn't it?

So, is the decoupage screen cut out to make a profit?

No, I don't like that, obviously. It looks late Victorian, doesn't it?

Looks a bit... Maybe a bit too much.

Hang on...

Is that a crazed kitten dismembering a doll?

It looks like the work of a madman.

Maybe something more traditional is closer to his taste.

Shaped basket? Is it... What?

A cobbler's last made out of a 17th-century carved oak bedpost.

Looks like Frankenstein, kind of stitched together, doesn't it?

Yes, that's very you, isn't it?

Catherine, I'm not sure that's a compliment.

So what is it? A cobbler's last?

Can you tell us about this?

A last is a foot-shaped brace used by cobblers

and cordwainers to repair or make shoes.

This one's made of cast iron

and fixed to a piece of 17th-century carved oak bedpost.

As you do.

I just like it cos it's odd.

I don't know. It's just weird, isn't it? It's just weird, isn't it?

But is it TOO weird?

We've gone... I don't know anyone with a collection of these.

So we think this would be good at the right price.

Yeah.

Possibly. It's a bit of fun. It's a bit of fun, isn't it?

I can't guarantee that's going to raise...

It won't raise a lot of money,

but it'll certainly raise an eyebrow.

Yeah, it will. And a few legs, probably. Probably.

SHE LAUGHS

What have you got on it, Mark? 55.

Right.

OK. And what could you do on that?

I could let you have it for 30,

and I think it'd do well at auction for that.

Could you pinch it a little bit more, Mark?

How much more? 25?

Ooh, John.

Go on.

Nicely played, eh?

Thank you. It's OK.

Thank you so much. A pleasure. I think it's lovely, I really do.

There we go, one, two, three.

Super.

There we are. It's a deal.

Thank you very much. Thank you very much indeed.

Antiques apprentice John earning his wings, there. Great work.

But when it comes to flying high,

Hermione's on her way to see

a collection that just might take her breath away.

MUSIC: "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin

# Take my breath away... #

OK, well, welcome to the hangar of the Classic Air Force.

Wow!

These are the ones in the post-Second World War, Cold War era,

the ones that really set the scene

and helped to develop aviation as it is today.

Hermione and Mark are with Trevor Bailey at Classic Air

in Newquay, which houses Europe's largest collection

of post-war classic aircraft.

# Take my breath away... #

Classic Air have over 40 British-built aircraft,

transporting visitors back to the '40s, '50s and '60s,

when flying was all about glamour and romance.

They are very evocative, aren't they?

Of that sort of more gentler age of flying,

without all the security measures we have today.

Well, it's become much more less romantic than it was,

and we're trying to get a bit of the romanticism back into it,

if you like. Or at least give you the experience.

Trevor, how rare is something like this biplane now?

You'd be stretching it, probably, to take it to double figures.

Yes, so it's a rare item, isn't it? Mm.

But it looks... Beautiful. ..it looks so wonderful, doesn't it?

Beautiful. So, when you're sat inside that,

and you're flying along the beaches of Cornwall,

every seat has a panoramic window, and you're looking out

through those wings, those long, tapering, elliptical wings.

It really is quite unique. Yes. And memorable. It just looks wonderful.

You'll see people come off the aircraft today, perhaps,

while you're here, and you don't see many broader grins.

No, I bet.

So taking to the air is the way to see these fantastic flying machines

at their best. And guess what - Hermione and Mark

are about to get the chance to find out for themselves.

Lucky dogs.

How about flying in one of our planes this afternoon?

Ooh, I'd love to.

Wouldn't you? Is it safe?

Of course it's safe! Trevor's maintained it. Is it, Trevor?

What sort of plane, Trevor?

Well, how about one like this one here,

that you enjoyed looking at earlier? MARK GASPS

Well, it's very... Oh, yes, come on!

Come on. Are you serious? Really?

Oh, come on, we must.

Don't worry, Hermione, these planes are lovingly restored

and maintained in tiptop condition.

There's nothing to fear.

We hope.

They're taking to the air in this classic de Havilland Dragon Rapide.

These World War II eight-seater RAF biplanes

became one of the first commercial airliners after the war.

And there's less than ten flying today. Safety first, eh?

Oh, there we are, look.

And I've just noticed our escape hatch as well.

And Hermione looks as though she's about to climb through it.

Ohh... Oh, God!

Are we good to go, then, Trevor? When you're ready, John. OK.

Look at the propeller!

Oh, my God! We are going up!

Well, that's what planes do, guys.

The sound of a twin-prop de Havilland Rapide

takes some time to get used to.

Feels like it's struggling a bit.

Does it feel like it's struggling to you? No.

No? No, we're fine.

Should we get out and push?

Don't worry, Hermione, in a minute it will all be worth it.

Passing over Watergate Bay...

Oh, my... Oh, that's amazing.

Next stop, west. New York.

It's all so rugged, the coastline.

The Cornish coastline. Spectacular.

And Hermione's finally enjoying herself.

That is amazing.

Oh-ho!

Touchdown!

Thank the Lord.

That was amazing. We made it.

That was so smooth.

Wonderful. This little black one here's the one to go in next.

MARK GASPS

Go in that one and we'll take you up and loop the loop.

Oh, yes, please! HERMIONE LAUGHS

Wouldn't you love to do that?

Keeping their feet firmly on the ground,

this is John and Catherine's last chance to buy,

and John's feeling quite at home.

I like it here. Do you?

Yeah, it's got a bit of an old curiosity shop kind of... Ooh.

I like... Yeah, I can have a good mooch.

Can you? Yes. Yeah, he's comfortable. I'm very comfortable here.

This is going to take hours.

Yeah, this is an Aladdin's cave, proper.

All this Road Trip,

John's been turning his considerable acting skills

to playing the antiques expert.

I can feel you're getting into this.

So, now for some improvisation.

I know who that's made by. Go on, then. Wade.

Not quite.

It's Withernsea Eastgate Pottery, but it looks like...

It looks like Wade, doesn't it?

Very convincing performance, though.

What John needs are a few tricks up his sleeve.

What you look for are the tickets that are faded,

and have been here a long time.

So they want to just get rid of it.

Catherine, you'll have him passing for an expert in no time.

Snuffbox.

That monkey, has it got a little scent bottle inside it?

I know that look. Catherine's onto something.

Yes, I've seen the teddy bears of these, with the scent bottles in.

But I haven't seen a monkey, I must admit.

Well, let me just show it to my friend.

Cos he likes toys.

John? Yes?

Travelling companion. Let's have a see.

What do you think of this little man?

Oh, I love him.

When I was a kid, my favourite soft toys were monkeys

and it sort of stayed.

Really? Well, yeah. Take the top off.

Oh, wow!

This is a little scent bottle.

I've never seen anything like that before.

German toymaker Schuco was founded in 1912,

and is best known for its bears,

some of which concealed perfume bottles.

This Schuco monkey is brown mohair on a tin body.

Sweet.

It's been through it. It's been through the mill.

He has, hasn't he? Yeah, I think... He's only got one ear.

Yeah.

It's kind of like...the Van Gogh of the monkey world.

Be great if you made Van Gogh money on it.

Could I possibly ask you if you could have a word with the owner,

perhaps call them up, and see what we could get on that?

I'll try and see if I can catch her straight away.

That's great, thank you.

Have you seen anything else? What's that? Little snuffbox.

It's a snuffbox, but it's the detail on it that I absolutely love.

This is a bust of the gentleman here, who was called Charles JA Fox.

Could be James, could be sort of short for James.

And then it says, "This illustrious patriot departed this life

"September the 13th AD 1806," right?

And then on the base, it says... Hang on.

"Intrepid champion of freedom, enlightened advocate of peace.

"Not born for himself but for the universe."

So he must have been quite a significant character in his time.

Like some social reformer...

Let me help you out here.

Charles James Fox, born in 1749, was Britain's first Foreign Secretary,

noted for his support of the American and French revolutions.

These commemorative bronze snuffboxes were produced

after his death in 1806, but some of the boxes are later reproductions.

You know when you retire and they give you a carriage clock?

Did they give you one? I haven't retired yet, love.

Someone said to me, "Do you think you'll ever retire?"

I said, "No, I'll die on stage." Right.

"And it won't be the first time."

I love that.

Vicky's got news on the Schuco monkey.

Good news. Oh!

And bad news. Oh.

Um, she would like to try and get 110 for it.

I think that's too much.

Ticket price is ?165, remember.

The good news is that she has said if, you know,

that she would go to 100. Right.

But we've got a bit of a proposition for you,

cos John's now found this little snuffbox.

I could do them both for 150.

115? No, 150.

So, will she do the pair for 125? Or so, we'll say.

What they would like to do is do a deal and have them both for 125.

Not possible. No.

I'm sure she wants to... 140 for them both.

140? Final offer.

Time to ask the question that we all ask

when faced with a difficult decision.

If Mark Stacey was here, what would he do?

Come on, give me your Mark Stacey impression.

IMITATES MARK: Well, you see, I don't know, darling.

I really don't know.

I wouldn't know what to say.

Well, he couldn't do me!

Can you do Tim?

IMITATES TIM: Oh, I say, it's an absolute shower.

Let's go over here and see if we can negotiate down to about 135.

Let's go!

Great! He sounds more like me than I do.

Come on, 135 for both of them. No, can't do it.

That's it, Vicky. You hold your ground, girl.

Go on, just... No! No, 140. Absolutely... Final offer?

Final offer. And it's two magnificently wonderful pieces.

I think our master hagglers have met their match here.

It's a deal. There we go.

Thank you very much. We have one monkey and snuffbox.

Thank you very much. Thank you very much.

I'm going. OK. I'm going before I change my mind about that monkey.

Right. Well, I've done it now.

You certainly have. No going back.

That's a commemorative Charles Fox box for ?45,

and a Schuco monkey perfume bottle for ?95.

Time for our teams to get together and reveal their hauls.

Shall we have a look? Because we're desperate.

I'm not going to do a whip, I'm going to slowly shimmy off. Yes.

This is it? Mm?

What do you mean? We've been working hard!

I like the box. Do you like the box? Yeah, I do, I like the box.

HERMIONE: I'm afraid that monkey looks dreadful!

It's ghastly, isn't it? JOHN: It's more than a monkey.

It's a scent bottle. He's right.

HERMIONE: Oh, you see? This is what I've had.

JOHN: That is a cigar cutter. Oh, no, that's lovely.

It's a rose gold cigar cutter.

A lucky horseshoe. Lucky monkey, lucky horseshoe.

Do you like the leg, by the way? No.

Say what you mean, Mark.

This is our lucky leg. You've got an awful lot of luckies.

Sorry. Come on, then. Show us yours.

Ready? Yes.

So, that's our first little collection.

Our "first" collection?!

And then we've also got this.

Which I absolutely love.

Now, that I like.

I think that's amazing. Yeah, it reminds me of Rosemary's Baby.

Not a fan, then, John?

Nice. This is nothing but a wonderful quality drawing.

Did you pay lots for it?

She's just trying to wind you up, H, honestly.

No, that's real.

JOHN: I'm loving the cot, I think that's my favourite thing.

This is completely down to Hermione.

You can't sell second-hand cots for love nor money.

That's the problem. That IS the problem, Catherine,

you're quite right. Um...

And everybody's going to want a lump of old wood with an iron foot on it.

Aren't they? I mean, let's be honest.

Everyone's certainly being honest, Mark.

This is our fifth item. Piece de la resistance.

Which is a lovely turn-of-the-century consulting room table...

Er, bench. I like that. With the maker's mark on it.

Oh, I really like that.

Wow, some praise. Finally.

What do we think, then? Not sure!

I'm kind of a bit speechless, really. I think the letter... Yeah.

I mean, it might sell, but I just saw it and thought,

what a bit of junk, really.

I told you they'd go safe, didn't I? Little things.

I don't know how safe that was. I don't think it is.

I mean, they didn't say, actually,

what they paid for the little monkey thing.

That monkey was dreadful, Mark. I hate it.

I love the cot, but like you say, I don't know how saleable it is.

I don't know how saleable that is. I think that might struggle.

HERMIONE: My picture.

I watched Catherine's face, and she was horrified.

But can I just say one thing to you, H? Yes.

Look at what she bought.

Could that judge a picture? No.

Whatever happens, it's been an experience.

It's been an adventure. I've loved it. Give us a hug.

Ooh! Romantic.

Time for our Road-Trippers to hit the tarmac again,

bid farewell to Cornwall and hello to our nation's capital, London.

It's the all-important auction showdown in Wandsworth.

Criterion auction house is the venue for our final battle, specialising

in everything from interesting furniture to collectibles.

This should be the place to shift our eclectic mix of items.

So, time for a hearty hello and a pep talk.

Hello. Hello! Nice to see you. Are you all right? Yes.

Ready for today? I think so. Ready for some action? Yeah, absolutely.

I'm not nervous, are you nervous? No! You're biting your nails!

You are! I am! MARK CHUCKLES

Now, let's get the lowdown on what the man with the gavel,

auctioneer Daniel Webster, thinks of our team's buys.

There's a pretty little gold cigar cutter, horseshoe shaped,

that's a nice popular shape people usually go for, so, again,

hopefully that's going to appeal to somebody out there.

The Schuco monkey, that's quite an interesting thing.

In good condition, they can make a few hundred pounds.

That one's not great condition, unfortunately.

Overall, it's sort of a good eclectic mix.

They've bought quite wisely overall,

with maybe a couple of errors here and there.

Well, that sounds promising.

Both teams started this Road Trip with ?400.

Joan and Catherine bought five items and came in under budget,

spending ?295.

Hermione and Mark also picked up five items,

but they managed to blow the whole ?400.

Let's see who can pump the profits,

and who will be left weeping over their wares.

Now, before proceedings start, there's some unfortunate news.

John and Catherine's two silver brooches were sadly lost

just before the auction, but to put things right,

Team Thomson will get an insurance payout on both.

Yes, I've looked at the photos,

and we'll give an insurance valuation of ?100.

So, with ?100 in the bag for Team Thomson

and internet bidding in the offing, let's get this auction under way.

This is you. This is it.

First up, can Hermione

and Mark post a profit on with their stamp machine and letter box?

There you go, neat little things just over there,

good and collectible for ?20.

20. Come on.

Ten. Ten, surely?

Five if you like. No money at five, surely?

Five is bid.

?5 now, at five, are we all done?

At five, eight just behind, sir. Eight now.

At ?8, are we all done, then? At ?8, are we all sure for eight?

Not a great start.

But there's still plenty to play for.

That is terrible.

True.

The auctioneer loved this lot, though.

So can John and Catherine's horseshoe cigar cutter

make a slice of profit?

Interest ten, 15 got.

At ?15, the money's here at 15, 20 if you like.

20 in the room.

At ?20, are we done?

At 20, we're in the room. Yes or no, internet?

Come on, internet. 22 front row.

25.

27 and creeping along.

30. At ?30 now.

At ?30, we left at 30. Are we all done?

Looks like the bidders are sitting on their hands.

Is that a profit? No.

What did you pay for it? 60.

Oh!

Up next is Hermione's beloved watercolour.

Will it be music to our ears?

Good artist and good thing, and with interest.

45, 50 is bid.

?50, the money's here with me at 50, are we sure?

At ?50, are we all done? 55. Ooh!

55, internet, now, at 55.

At ?55, are we done at 55?

Oh, bad luck.

There was internet interest, but it just wasn't enough.

It's just not our day. It's just not our day.

It's a bit shabby,

but can the bidders see the chic in Team Thomson's Schuco monkey?

30 in the room. Five if you like, internet.

35. 40.

At 40, are we done? Don't stop.

At ?40, are we all sure at 40?

Come on!

At 40, we're in the room at 40...

Oh, dear. Well, at least the poor thing's got a home to go to.

Well, the internet is relieved that when he gets that in the post,

anyway. He'll be... HE GASPS

So, will Hermione

and Mark's consulting couch be just what the doctor ordered?

I mean, it's just silly.

It could have the potential to make a couple of hundred pounds.

That's one just down now there, there now, there you go, adjustable

and all sorts, what more could you want?

?50 for it. 30.

Obviously more. A tenner. Ten is bid. Oh, come on.

At ?10 now, at ten, are we done?

I don't want to smile, cos it looks like I'm gloating.

For ten.

Oh, crikey Moses. Someone's got a real bargain, there.

On the right auction day, that should have made a lot more.

I don't know what to say, I'm sorry.

That was the piece de resistance. I mean, ?10.

But, Mark, hope springs eternal.

And with more bidders filing in, can the ladle serve up some good news?

And it's with interest at 35, 40 got.

At ?40, the money's here with me at 40, are we done?

At ?40, commissions money at 40, are we sure now?

Cheer up, kids. The punch ladle breaks even.

Could our teams fortunes be about to turn?

John and Catherine's commemorative box is next.

Neat little thing for ?20.

20's bid. 25.

30. Five.

(Come on. Come on.)

?35, and in the room. Are we done?

At 35, in the room and selling in the room, then.

That's a shame.

But, thankfully, not a devastating loss.

Next, Mark and Hermione's Victorian cot.

This will be interesting.

Good, collectible and smart for ?100 and bid.

At 100, 110. (Well done, well done!)

110. 120.

For 120, are we sure now at 120?

Well, it's a small loss after auction costs,

but I daresay that's a good result considering everything.

Finally, John and Catherine's cobbler's last is last. Hah!

There you go, unusual indeed. And ?30. 20.

Ten. Ten is bid. At ?10 now, at ten. 15. 20.

Five. At 25 away right.

You have. At ?25 right and away, then.

At the front!

Oh, well done, madam. There's bidding at the front.

30. New place now at 30.

And 30, are we all done? For ?30, then.

I think our leg was just bought by Dr Legg.

From EastEnders.

The leg just managed to get into its stride.

Well done for effort, boys and girls.

It's been good fun, though, hasn't it? Yeah.

That's the main thing. It has, actually.

Have we enjoyed ourselves? We have. Yes. We've had a great time.

It's not the losing, it's the taking part. Absolutely, John.

That's my motto.

Well, sadly the bidders just weren't there to today,

so forget winning,

this auction's been more about who's made the least losses.

So, let's get the headlines.

Hermione and Mark thought they'd shopped smart,

but when it came down to brass task, they made a loss of ?208.94

after auction costs, giving them ?191.06 at the finishing line.

However, John and Catherine pipped them to the post.

Despite auction costs,

the insurance valuation on the brooches cut their losses

to a more conservative ?102.30,

leaving them with a respectable ?297.70.

That's not so bad, then.

I feel a bit sad! Oh, do you?

I do. I won't shed a tear on national television.

Anyway, it's been lovely. What can I say?

Really enjoyed it. I've had a lovely time.

I've had a fantastic time. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you.

Go on, jump in, lady.

They can't wait to get away, look! I know.

Take care. Bye! Bye! Bye.

Any profits made from across the Road Trip

will go to Children In Need.

CAR BACKFIRES

What's happened to your hair? It's blowing in the wind.

I hope it doesn't come off! Yes!

I know a little bit about toys. Early Victorian automatons.

No, no, you're talking out of your...

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