John Craven and Johnny Ball Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

-The nation's favourite celebrities.

-We are special then, are we?

-That's excellent.

-Paired up with an expert...

-We're having our first tiff.

-Yes, we are.

..and a classic car.

-Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

-I have no idea what it is.

-Oh, I love it!

-The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

-Yes!

-But it's no easy ride.

-ALL GASP

There's no accounting for taste.

Who will find a hidden gem?

Who will take the biggest risks?

-Will anybody follow expert advice?

-Go to work on a little shopping list.

-There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.

-Are you happy?

-Yes.

-Promise?

-Ecstatic.

-Time to put your pedal to the metal.

This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

Today's celebrities are two ground-breaking TV presenters.

-Mind your hat doesn't blow off.

-Oh, no, that'll be all right.

-I'm just warming up the tyres now.

-JOHN LAUGHS

Yes it's Johnny Ball and John Craven.

Hello. And there's good news tonight for Tom and Jerry fans.

In the 1970s, John was the co-creator and anchorman

of other world's first news programmes for children.

We'll be back again on Tuesday. Bye for now.

While Johnny was being equally innovative, first for Playschool

and then on shows like Johnny Ball Reveals All and Think of a Number,

making maths and science cool.

It's a hover chair!

You're obviously interested in anything to do with mathematics and science in general and I'm not.

I think we'll be going for different things, actually.

Today's experts, auctioneers Phil Serrell and Charles Hanson are big fans of the two Johns.

-Are you happy to meet and greet Mr Craven?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're both legends, aren't they?

-They are.

I'd come home from school in the late '80s,

you know, in my shorts...watching the telly.

-You weren't nearer the 1880s, were you?

-I'm going to punch you in a minute.

The 1980s, of course, was when John Craven

took off with yet another hugely popular factual show.

In Britain there are 22 million sheep.

A quarter of a century later,

John's still at the helm and in the country. Whoops!

-I quite like small agricultural tools and things like that.

-Yes.

-Anything really involved in the countryside.

-So Countryfile's rubbed off on you.

-Yes, it has indeed.

-You become what you do, don't you?

-Yes.

-Absolutely.

That'll be music to the years of potential partner Phil.

Celebrities and experts have £400 per team,

driving a 1960s MGB and a 1966 Mercedes-Benz 250SE.

-Well, my first car was a Heinkel bubble car.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-A little bubble car. I paid £200 for it, I remember.

-Wow!

And I sold it because it was eventually using more oil than petrol.

Ah, three wheels and no reverse gear,

those really were the good old days.

Our trip begins in Ringwood in Hampshire

and then takes a country ramble through Wiltshire and Dorset

before heading north to an auction in Oxfordshire at Watlington.

-Here we are.

-That's a plus, isn't it?

-Morning.

-Look at that.

-Morning! Wow! How are you?

-Nice to see you.

-Lovely to see you.

-Whoops! I think there's a handbrake somewhere.

-Yeah, put the brake on.

-I think you two are going to get on really well.

-LAUGHTER

-So am I with you?

-I hope so.

-Oh, tremendous!

-All being well.

-Oh, the hats versus the non-hats.

-Nice to see you.

-Great to meet you too.

We'll go in this one and you have that fiddly little thing over there.

A beautiful old British sports car.

-This is us. See you later. Shall I drive?

-There's just one minor problem.

-Charlie!

-Yes.

-You've got the keys.

-Sorry, Philip. Sorry, John.

-Well, that's a good start.

-Apologies.

-Oh, Lord!

-Thanks, Charlie.

-See you later.

So with the motor running, let's head out onto the highway.

Hats in one car and country boys in t'other.

-How competitive are you?

-I'm...I'm reasonably competitive, yes.

-That's good. That's good.

-Yeah.

But I'm going to need your help a lot, cos I don't know an awful lot about antics.

-Well, you're in good company.

-JOHN LAUGHS

He said it. Ringwood's name seems to suggest a place ringed with trees,

that's probably about right, although the 10th century version of it translates as "border wood,"

which reflects the towns location on the edge of the New Forest.

Right.

So let's see what they've got, shall we, Phil?

I think I'm going to wait for the corporation dustcart to go past.

I'll go and have a look. JOHN LAUGHS

I might be some time!

Miller's Antiques is a long-established antique shop

complete with its own workshop for restorations.

-Hi, Philip.

-Hello.

-Lovely to see you, my love.

A fair bit of all this treasure will be beyond John and Phil's budget, of course.

-I was just thinking you could do a, "Argh, Jim lad!"

-Yargh!

So what's the plan, maties?

-Tactically, I think we want to try and find something perhaps a little bit unusual.

-Yeah.

-These type of things are lovely, but they've got a standard saleroom price.

-Yeah.

-I think...

-So what we need is something that nobody can really guess how much we've paid for.

-You got it in one.

-Right.

That bit of pastoral paraphernalia might just do the trick.

-That's a grain measure,, isn't it?

-Yes, it's an old grain measure from the days of farming,

you know, well over 100 years ago.

-A lot of these are French, aren't they?

-Yeah, I think this is.

-Double...

-Entendre?

-..something.

-Yeah.

-I can't quite make it out.

-And how much is that?

That is £48. It says 1880 circa.

-Shall we put it on the table?

-Yeah.

-That would be a great display

for dried flowers in a big farmhouse kitchen.

-Yeah.

-It looks really good on this table. Perhaps we should buy the table.

-You think that might sell?

-It's a possibility. Let's see what else we can find.

-OK.

There's some boots over here. Let's just pull those...

-Oh, Lord above!

-Steady, Phil.

-Carol, are we all right to put these on your table?

-Yes, I think so.

It's a bit unlucky to put shoes or boots on a table but, never mind, we won't worry about it now.

-It's new shoes you shouldn't put on a table.

-Oh, is that what is? OK.

-Old ones are really lucky, Carol.

-Don't believe a word of it.

-But these are quite expensive boots

-and nobody would wear them, they'd just be for decoration, wouldn't they?

-Yeah.

-You could perhaps do something on those?

-Yeah, of course I can.

-Let's see what else we've got.

-These two are definitely on the march,

but what about our other pairing?

-Anything in common, apart from the hat?

-I think we're quite similar.

I think we are. I think we're both quite quirky.

And maybe that line of quirk in the field of antiques

could be the way we'll go today. Are you, Johnny, a bit of a negotiator?

-I'm a pushover.

-Are you?

-Yes.

Well, I'm hoping, Johnny, as we walk into the shops

I'll be saying, "Johnny Ball, please reveal all."!

-JOHNNY LAUGHS

-And I'll let you search and find

and I'll then come in as your wingman and give you some context, OK?

They're also heading for Ringwood.

-Good morning. How are you?

-I'm fine. Lovely sunny day.

-And pretty in pink as well by the way.

-Thank you very much. Hello.

-Hello.

-Nice to meet you.

-I'm Johnny.

-Hello, Johnny, nice to meet you too.

-May we enter your emporium?

-Yes, of course. You're most welcome.

-Thanks a lot.

Hats off, squad.

-Wow!

-It looks like Lorraine's shop requires a thorough search.

I think I'm the oldest thing in the shop. I go back some time, you know.

-Which has surely got to help.

-What a great pair of jugs.

-Yeah.

-Can you say that on television?

-LORRAINE LAUGHS

-They carry, Johnny, what we call the Bretby Sunburst mark.

-Yeah.

And that mark is a very Art Deco mark

for Bretby of Burton-upon-Trent, near where I live.

-South Derbyshire...these were made.

-For beer?

-Yeah, possibly the beer or perhaps mead.

-It could be for mead.

-With the honey.

-Absolutely right, with the bees on.

They're really quite nice.

The only issue I've got on my jug is there's a chip here.

-I saw on that one, that one's worn on the handle.

-Yes.

-That's in the firing.

-Lorraine's quite right,

that would've happened during the firing, so that goes back to when they were actually fired.

So there's always seconds?

So these are seconds, so we can knock half of that off.

Well... Oh! SHE LAUGHS

-I suppose we could come to some agreement, couldn't we?

-Hmm.

Cheeky! I think they're interested in those.

-What's the very best price on those, Lorraine?

-What was on the ticket?

-85.

-85? Oh, dear! What are you going to offer me, then?

Well, my man here carries the money.

-Do I?

-I would... Lorraine, what's your very best?

We would think 30 or 40, because then we might get 50 back.

I was thinking more like 45.

-I have to be guided by someone.

-Yeah, I know.

-I wonder, 40 and a kiss.

-35 and two kisses.

-Whoa!

-One from each of us.

-Whoo! Go on, then.

-35 and two kisses, why not.

-We'll take those.

-Yes, that's fine.

-Are we taking them?

-Yes.

-Yeah, fine. We'll take them. Thanks a lot

-Why not?!

And he said he wasn't much of a negotiator.

What's happening elsewhere in Ringwood?

I've been advised that brown furniture

doesn't go too well auction at the moment.

-No, that's perfectly true.

-Oh, what have we got here? What is this?

Well, I think it comes from a seaplane.

-What the propellers of a seaplane turned into a table?

-Yes.

I think that is really unusual. I've never seen anything like that before.

Can I pick it up and have a look?

-What do you think?

-I think that is... I think you've struck gold there.

-All depending on price, of course.

-They're £345.

Is that for the...for the pair?

-That is the for the pair, but I suppose I would split them if you were just interested in one.

-Would you?

My maths is awful. I should've had Johnny Ball here, really.

So 345 divided by two is about 80, isn't it?

-Eh, everybody's in a bit of a cheeky mood today.

-Sounds good to me.

-I like your maths.

-Well, those are a possibility, aren't they?

-Yeah.

I could probably do them at 120.

I think I'm warming to this lady. I love them. I do love them. I think they're funky.

Shall we take that with us into the other room into our little collection and see where we go?

Looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

If that's going to be our big buy, I think we need to just forget those.

Yeah, let's give 'em the boot, shall we?

It's all down to price, but we like that, don't we? We both love that.

-Yeah.

-We've got this.

-Now, I like this because of its kind of agricultural nature, you know.

I don't suppose you can get this on Countryfile before the auction?

-It might just increase the provenance a little bit.

-Yeah.

-Carol, we'd like to buy those two off you.

-Yes.

-And I think at auction that's probably 30-50 quid.

-Hmm.

Which means after commission...

If it sells for 30, we'd like to try and buy it for 20-25 quid.

-Oh, I say!

-Would you like to pull up a chair, Carol?

-SHE LAUGHS For support.

-I'm going to need that.

And I think that at auction is going to be perhaps £100-£120.

-Hmm.

-Which means we've got to try for that for about 80.

-Oh, gosh! That's difficult.

-It is, isn't it?

-Hmm.

-Which is putting the two in at about £100-£105.

-Yes.

Right, well,,, I can't do that, but I'd do 120 for the two.

-Can we meet you halfway?

-110?

-Well, it's a nice sunny day, why not?

-Oh, you're an angel!

-I'm trying to be an angel.

-You are an angel.

-Let me shake your hand. The first deal I've ever done.

-That's 110.

-OK.

-And that's our lunch.

-Yeah.

-Aren't you lucky?

You wouldn't like to throw in the champagne flutes as well?

-No, I don't think so.

-Sure? Then we'd really toast you.

-Yes.

-I think his first deal's gone to his head.

So, a table and a grain measure for £110.

-How about the hatters?

-Are those cuff links?

-Yeah, they are.

No, they're not cuff links, they're silver buttons.

-Are they quite early, do you think, Lorraine?

-There's no actual date mark.

You have got the lion on there, but I couldn't see a date.

-Let's untie them.

-OK.

-Let's untie them.

And one more thing I saw here, this is quite nice. Look at that.

-Now, that's very me.

-This is very you, isn't it?

-This is a lighter.

Lorraine, we're looking at a few things. Just this lighter here, it is Chagrin, isn't it?

-It is.

-So it's a sharkskin.

-Yes.

-And that goes back to the Jazz age?

-Yes.

-Right.

-Back to the 1930s.

-The 1920s.

-Yeah.

-'20s, '30s.

-Oh, wonderful.

-Isn't that nice?

-Hmm.

-English or would you say...?

-I would have thought...

-I'm not sure if it's got a maker on the bottom.

-We don't catch a lot of sharks here, do we?

-No, I haven't seen any in Ringwood.

Not until today anyway, Lorraine.

Lorraine, if I said to you... May I speak on your behalf?

-You may speak on my behalf.

-Are you sure, skipper?

-Absolutely.

-Thanks a lot.

What could be the very best on those buttons

and the little cigarette lighter?

-If you had the lighter and the buttons...

-All in for?

-Only cos it's you.

-Get out of here.

-30.

-Would you take 25 for the whole lot?

-No!

-No, no, no, I can't!

-Meet me at 28.

-Final best price is 30.

-OK. Shake her hand. We'll take them.

-Cheers!

Thanks, Lorraine. That means the silver buttons have cost us...?

-The silver buttons have cost you 25.

-Thank you.

And a fiver for the lighter.

-And we've just bought that fine pair of jugs for £35.

-Those lovely jugs.

-It's 65.

-£65.

Oh, look at this! One, two, three, four, five, six.

And another five.

-That's fantastic! Oh, and another kiss. Mmm. Oh, I say!

-Good job.

-I didn't really need you with me, did I?

-Well, well,...

-THEY LAUGH

I reckon Charles is going to have to watch out, actually.

Thank you.

Time for a celebrity driving lesson.

I haven't driven a gear-change car for about 25-30 years.

I've been driving automatics, so if I forget to change gear, will you forgive me?

-Do you want to just pull in and let me get out?

-JOHN LAUGHS

Mind the indicators too. But now for a brief shopping time-out.

Cruising into Wiltshire and the cathedral city of Salisbury

to find out about the man who's been described

as the father of modern scientific archaeology.

-And what did you say his name was?

-Augustus Pitt Rivers, bit of a hero of mine.

-Augustus Pitt Rivers is a great name.

-Oh, wonderful.

The Victorian was one of the first archaeologists

to explore the lives of ordinary people and the founder of not one but two museums.

-Hello.

-Nice to see you.

-Good to see you.

-Good to see you as well.

-Yeah, welcome to Salisbury Museum.

-Thank you very much.

George Augustus Pitt Rivers not to be confused with the Roman Emperor of the same name,

spent the last 20 years of his life living near Salisbury

creating a collection that's sure to appeal to John.

The museum he set up on Cranborne Chase was actually for educating the local community,

the local farming community.

So he amassed huge amounts of agricultural equipment

from places like Cyprus and from the Far East which he put on display.

-In fact, we've actually got some of the items he brought here that I can show you.

-Right.

-What on earth is that?!

-Well, it looks like it should fit on a beast of some sort or another.

-Well, absolutely, yeah. It's a Neapolitan saddle.

-A horse saddle?

Well, it's called a saddle but it was actually for attaching a cart to the horse.

-That would be a really impressive thing, wouldn't it?

-It is wonderful.

-And how old is that?

-It's 19th century, we think.

-And how did he start his collection?

-He was originally in the army,

so he travelled around Europe and he was also fascinated with Darwin

and this idea that evolution could be applied to objects.

-And that objects would evolve...

-Did they know each other?

-Yes, they did. Yeah.

I mean, he was a huge fan. When The Origin of the Species was published in 1859,

this was a huge thing for Pitt Rivers

and he applied those theories to the material object world.

So he started to think that you could look objects in the same way that animals evolved.

Interesting. That's like where a stool then has a back put on it

and then the back becomes raked and a stool develops into a chair.

That's right, yeah.

Most of the contents of the museum were less fancy than the saddle, however,

like this 19th-century mill from Dorset and this Chinese rice winnowing machine.

But why would he want that?

He wanted to educate local people about farming practices around the world.

So the core of the collection was things like this

that showed people in Dorset how people worked and farmed all across the world.

-And also how things were pretty similar around the world.

-Absolutely.

And that was part of it was really to try and show those similarities

between the lot of the working person on a farm in Dorset

and the lot of somebody working on a farm in Hong Kong.

The general's greatest passion, however, was for archaeology

and when he inherited a vast estate containing several historic sites,

he set about excavating, completing about a dig a year

from the mid-1880s until his death in 1900.

-Well, what do we have here, Adrian?

-We have some of the general's finds

from his excavations on Cranborne Chase.

The thing you can see particularly

from these models here is that he was a methodical archaeologist.

He recorded things in huge amounts of detail.

Because before him archaeologists were really more like treasure hunters, weren't they?

That's right, they were interested in the blink and the great discoveries,

whereas the general was interested in finding out the mundane, things relating to people's everyday lives.

He believed that even the most unexceptional piece of pottery or piece of bone

could provide vital evidence to understand the past.

Nearby Stonehenge came under Pitt Rivers protection

when in 1882 he became Britain's first Inspector of Ancient Monuments.

It was the first step towards the state safeguarding our heritage.

And although the law gave him little real power,

he travelled throughout the land recommending sites for recognition.

He was an amazing man. Would you like to have known him?

I think I would, actually. I think he was quite incredible. I mean his achievements in archaeology,

in collecting, in founding museums and this whole sort of ethos behind educating the public,

-I think makes someone quite remarkable.

-And, of course, an incredibly rich man,

which is why he could make this vast collection.

Any idea how many things he did actually collect all his life?

He must have bought in excess of 50,000 objects.

-More than you, Phil.

-Absolutely right.

-Lovely to see you, Adrian.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-Thank you very much.

Quite a chap, eh?

Our trip now heads south towards the coast and Boscombe in Dorset.

Looking out over Poole Bay...

Gosh, think of a number.

We have spent how much today so far? We have spent how much? How much?

-We have spent 65 quid.

-Correct.

-For a load of old tat. No! No!

-Get out of here!

-Stuff that's going to make us a fortune.

They could do with Johnny perhaps plumping for something he likes.

-Spread the blame a bit, eh?

-Meet Johnny.

-Hello.

-How are you, love?

-Claire.

Hello. Charles. Good to see you. Nice to see you on this lovely day.

-We're here to buy one of everything.

-Yeah.

-Right.

-But we might run out of money.

-Yeah, you're the maths man, Johnny.

It's quite charming, isn't it?

-No. It's so drab.

-Look at it. Late Victorian. Isn't it charming?

-Do you like it?

-I think it has legs, don't you think?

Johnny's clearly not impressed.

But if he can just find something that speaks to him, who knows?

-They're quite heavy.

-They are, yes.

You've got to press that button there and it flips up like that.

-Ah, mobile phones.

-Right.

-And now you lift up the receiver.

-Right.

-Aren't these wonderful.

-Speak to me.

-Johnny, are you there?

-I am, yes.

-I think these could be a good buy, you know.

-I'm sorry, I've got to go, I'm wanted on the other phone.

-CHARLES LAUGHS

-What do we know about them? I think these are military issue, aren't they, Johnny?

-I think so.

They're really interesting. Er...Second World War.

Oh, you charge 'em with this, don't you?

I don't know if that's charging. I'll know if I get a belt off it.

-Hello.

-I think that sounds the bell usually, Johnny.

-Claire, how much are they out of curiosity?

-To you...£20 each

-So £40.

-Mental note, Johnny, for a second.

-I'm making a mental note of that.

-OK, good man.

-We might come back to that.

-We'll walk on for a sec.

-So one possible purchase. Anything else?

-Is this German?

-It is.

-Yeah, cos they have a character called Meckie,

and when I was in the RAF I had a haircut like that.

-And I was called Meckie cos I had a face like a pig, I suppose.

-Oh, no!

-And that was it.

-They were cruel to you.

-To me?

-Yeah.

-It toughened me up. Toughened me up.

These three soft toys are by the German Steiff Company,

famous for their teddy bears.

But if they require a bit of a haircut...

-That's a hedge trimmer.

-He's right. He knows what it is.

-Yeah.

Privets, you just go... and keep going, you'll get everything.

-Oh, yes, look. "Sponge's garden hedge trimmer."

-There you go.

-It says so.

-We knew, but I've never seen one.

-Oh, that's quite neat.

I love that. I bet it cuts a card...a business card.

-Oh, do be careful, chaps.

-Oh, God! This is dangerous!

-Johnny Ball's card.

-Yes, put that in there.

-Oh, crikey!

-Look at that!

-That is a neat cut.

-Almost took my finger as well!

-LAUGHTER

I'll cut a corner off now.

-Ouch!

-Ohh! No, I'm OK.

-That's enough, that's too close for comfort.

-How much will this be?

-20.

-I would like to do that, because it's so novel.

-OK.

-Just for the novelty value alone.

-Yeah.

-OK.

That's number one. Number two, we'll revert back to the phones,

which I think have a bit of mileage in them.

-Let's put them in the equation as one lot for the auction.

-Yes.

-And then Johnny's clippers.

-Johnny can have those for 15.

-Cut price.

-There you go.

-Wow! I think that's good value.

And if we put these in the array as well...in the arena.

The best on these two would be?

-£40.

-No less?

-She's not moving on those. She's not moving on those.

-You want a nice round 50.

-50?

-Yeah.

-For the three? Yes, you can have that.

-Yeah, OK.

And now you're going to say something else.

I think they might, judging by the way Johnny's hugging that squirrel.

How much will they cost together?

If you want those three, you can have those for 50.

They should be 25-30 each.

-I can't do any less than 50. No, sorry.

-I'm not sure about the phones.

-Not sure about the phones?

-No, I'm sure about the others.

-I'm sure about the phones.

-You're sure?

-Yeah, I'm sure about the phones.

-We're a team.

-That's teamwork. You want to be different, don't you?

-We're sort of the Brazil of the antique world.

-Yeah, we are.

But we can make mistakes as well, can't we?

Does that include own goals?

They've not agreed on anything.

So it's all in - wham, bam, thank you, ma'am! - £100.

-Done.

-Done. Yeah, we'll take them. Yeah, thanks a lot. That's a lot.

-Thank you.

-Shake the lady's hand. Thanks a lot.

-Thank you very much.

-Thanks. Give me the money.

-Reasonable request.

-It's so easy to get rid of it. Thank you ever so much.

-Cheers. Thank you.

-Thank you.

-Very nice to meet you.

-That's your eighth kiss today.

Jealousy will get you nowhere, Charles.

So £100 for the phones, clippers and toys.

And shop shut, it's now time to get back to our starting line-ups.

-ENGINE TURNS OVER

-I think we've got a problem.

Try pressing a different button next time.

I'm glad we're not stuck behind that.

Not...not that we can actually move.

-JOHN LAUGHS

-We might need a bubble car for them tomorrow.

I wonder. Night-night, chaps.

Next morning our classic cars are once again up and running...

-A perfect day, isn't it, for a open car and the countryside.

-Beautiful.

..en route to an agreed rendezvous.

-Oh!

-What's going on?

-Oh, no!

-Stay there.

-This could be...awkward.

LAUGHTER

Well, someone must be going the wrong way.

Yesterday, Johnny and Charles bought a large amount of stuff.

-Hello?

-Johnny, are you there?

Acquiring some field telephones, some Steiff animals,

some jugs, some silver buttons,

a sharkskin lighter...and a hedge trimmer.

That lot cost £165, leaving £235 to spend today.

While John and Phil chose a grain measure

and a table made from a flying boat propeller.

-What do you think?

-I think you've struck gold there.

Those set them back £110,

so they still have almost £300 in their wallets.

They may well need it, too.

Phil, I'd like to be honest with you,

I do have the intention today of probably buying up to six lots for the auction.

Well, that's good. Well, we've bought two so far

and we've got two shops left and I was thinking if we buy two in each shop, so that's us six as well.

So then it's to me to you at the auction

to me to us to me to you to you to me.

-What you talking about?!

-Time to get started.

And although yesterday Johnny Ball enjoyed the Merc, John Craven's got other ideas today.

-Are we swapping cars?

-Would you like to?

-Absolutely, yeah.

-Take a chance.

-Can we get in that one with two hats.

-JOHN LAUGHS

-We'll be OK.

-OK.

Later, they'll be on their way to Oxfordshire

and an auction in Watlington,

but our next stop is the Dorset village of Lytchett Minster.

John, that was a masterstroke swapping cars this morning.

-Do you think so?

-Oh, yeah.

-Well, I think we deserve it.

I mean, the MGB is a lovely little car but this is a nice big car!

-This is a gentleman's club, isn't it?

-It is.

It's an elegant cruiser, isn't it?

Ever deeper into the country, Phil's thoughts are taking a familiar turn.

We'll go to our shop, but there might be a farm here or something,

-we can rock up and try to buy something from.

-Are we allowed to do that?

-The rules are how we make them.

-Oh, right.

Yeah! Phil's always pushing the envelope

and for once he seems to have found a kindred spirit.

Mind your head. Tiny little shop.

-Thelma it must be?

-Yes.

-Nice to see you.

-Hello. Hello, nice to meet you.

-Button shop, antique shop?

-Yes.

-44 years I've been here.

-Oh, right.

-Getting the hang of it now?

-Yeah, just about.

LAUGHTER

It's called The Button Shop because of the Dorset buttons

Dorset buttons, what's that then?

-Never heard of Dorset buttons?

-I haven't heard of Dorset buttons.

Dorset buttons were the biggest industry that Dorset's ever known.

And they were made in Dorset for 300 years.

-Wow!

-Here they are.

They're all hand-stitched in linen thread.

Thelma's even written a book about them.

But there are plenty of other items here that might catch their eye

and John's not wasting any time.

What do you think of this then, Phil?

Arts and Craftsy, but I think that's really nice.

-A firescreen, isn't it? Is that copper?

-Yeah, I like that.

-No, it's brass, I think.

-It's brass?

-Brass, yeah.

-It is beautiful, isn't it?

-She's almost eastern looking, isn't she?

-Yeah, she is, isn't she?

-And I think it is around about Arts and Crafts era.

It's got some stainings on it, do you think they'll come off?

-No, I think we should just leave that the way it is.

-Oh, should we?

-I do.

-Really?

-We want to present an undiscovered jewel, that's what we want to do.

-THELMA LAUGHS

-What's your ticket price on that, Thelma?

-50 quid.

-Could you take 30?

-35?

-30.

-His learning the trade,

-isn't he? Cos I need to make a bit of a profit on it.

-Oh, well, since it's you.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

-Thank you.

-Do you think that's a good buy?

-I think that's a really good buy.

-I think that's a very good buy.

-Thank you very much, Thelma.

-Thank you, Thelma.

-Lovely.

-There you are, I'm going to put it in the...

-He's got the money.

-THELMA LAUGHS

-Giving me the money.

-There we are, look, in the tin.

-Thank you very much.

-But there is something else Thelma can help with.

This is an off-beat question this, are there any big farms around here?

-Yes, there's Post Green Farm just up the road here.

-Where would that be?

-Do you know them?

-Yes, I do.

Do you think you could, could I impose on you, perhaps make a call

to see if they would be receptive to John and I just appearing on them?

-Sure.

-This is your thinking, to go and see if there's anything worth buying?

-Yeah, if we can go find a farm, it'd be lovely to go find old equipment.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Here we go. Phil and John's growing contacts book

-has brought them just up the road.

-Here we are, Post Green Farm.

-I wonder what the farmer will be happy to sell?

-Hello. Are you Christopher?

-Yes, I'm Christopher.

-We spoke on the phone.

-We did.

-How are you? Good to see you.

-And you.

-And you've got something for us maybe?

-I got something you can look at.

-Oh, right.

Beware, Chris, once introduced these pests can be difficult to get rid of.

Oh, look at that cart. That is just a bit out of our budget that, isn't it?

Yeah. What era is that do you reckon?

I would have thought it was sort of between the wars.

-Or maybe before that.

-A bit earlier than that, I think.

-Yeah.

-Not for sale! But what is?

-This is the silage knife.

-And you used to...

-Cut it into the silage.

-Make it into the silage and make nice squares.

-Chop a square out. Yeah.

-I think that's probably a bit too rough for us.

-Well, that's a first.

-Staddle stones?

-We've got the things that go up like that.

-But not the caps?

-Not the caps.

-Look at that!

-Those are wicked. Have we got four.

-Three or four. Four there.

-They are big, aren't they?

-Staddle all stones should tickle John's country interests.

-These were formed in...the 19th-century?

-Yes, I would have thought so.

These date back to the old days of agriculture

when you would put these all around in an oblong shape

and put the mushroom tops on and then create a base and then put your haystack on top.

Going back to the old days of haystacks.

And that meant there was air coming up and it stopped the rats coming up.

These are very much part of farming history.

I think they're lovely. How much would you want for two of those?

-50 quid each.

-Oh, 50 for the two.

LAUGHTER Don't you...?

-I'm nothing to do with this.

-I'm a farmer.

-The price of beef has gone down for farmers.

-Yeah, lamb's gone up though.

And milk prices have gone up.

Hey, never mind Countryfile, this is turning into Farming Today.

-Honestly, Phil, do you think they would sell?

-Yeah, I do.

This architectural salvage stuff is actually quite sought after.

And in all fairness to Chris here, if you had staddle stone caps on these,

I think you'd be looking at £200 each for them as straddle stones.

What would you be happy with?

-75 for the pair.

-That...I'd say that's great.

-Do you think so?

-Yeah, I do. Shall we shake the man's hand and then find out what they're worth?

-Yeah.

-This could be interesting, couldn't it? Thank you.

-CHRIS LAUGHS

-Thank you very much indeed. This is the man with the money, Chris.

-Good!

-60. 80. So you owe us a fiver

-I owe you a fiver.

-And we now own two staddle stones that we don't know the value of.

-LAUGHTER

-And we don't know if anybody will buy them without the mushroom top. Bit of a gamble, Phil.

-Good point.

But we've seen him splash out on quirkier items, haven't we.

Not heavy though. Mind your back.

Now, what about Johnny and Charles? Two hats in a hurry, I'd say.

As they manoeuvre towards the Dorset Downs and Blandford Forum.

Blandford Forum. I love it, I've been there several times.

He's not been to Blandford Camp, though,

to a museum dedicated to a vital supporting unit of the British Army.

Welcome to the Royal Signals Museum.

This should interest a technology buff like Johnny.

As you can see our cap badge is the figure of Mercury,

-who was the messenger of the gods.

-Is that Hermes?

-It is.

-Hermes, Mercury.

-There you are.

-It's both, the same bloke.

Communications in war has meant life or death since ancient times.

But first as the Royal Engineers

and now as the Role Signals

the British Army has its own specialists.

A very simple system of...

-shutters to make your letters.

-Open and closed.

Blandford Camp was once the site of a Murray Shutter telegraph station,

whereby semaphore messages were transmitted via several hilltops

from navy ships to the Admiralty.

-What's that say?

-No idea.

-No, OK.

But it was during the Crimean War in the 1850s

that communications technology took a huge step forward.

This is the single-needle telegraph

and it was the first use of electronic communications on a military battlefield.

The Telegraph was invented in the 1830s,

but obviously the military saw a use for it.

It had its pros and cons, certainly from the military perceptive

they weren't too happy with it because all of a sudden

they'd gone from complete independence of the generals

to a manipulation by the War Office and politicians,

as all of a sudden instead of being able to take a message to London

and getting it back within months, it was within minutes.

Another drawback from the generals' point of view

was that the press was now able to use those telegraph cables

to keep the public informed about how badly the war was being run.

It was the first time as well that the military

actually laid their own undersea cable.

By the end of the war they'd already laid 21 miles of cable

and they had eight telegraph offices.

At the Battle of the Somme, they laid 50,000 miles.

So although 21 miles sounds an incredible feat then,

it was superseded by some astonishing feats later on.

That cable was bravely supplied by the Royal Engineers,

who by the time of the First World War had become the Royal Engineers Signal Service,

getting the message through by any possible means.

-This is Pigeon 2709 and it is the real artefact.

-A real pigeon?

-A real pigeon.

-Wow!

It's took a message on 3rd October, 1917,

from the front line to brigade headquarters starting off at 1.30 in the afternoon

and didn't get there until 10.35 the next day.

So it was something like 21 hours in flight.

We believe what happened is it got shot, as you can see,

but it somehow managed to get that message through and then died on arrival.

-Did it have a name at all?

-No, it was just known as Pigeon 2709.

But this is the kind of message that they would use.

So this is actually a real pigeon-carrier message carrier.

And what you'll find is inside there's a little message there.

So successful were pigeons like our feathered friend

that by the end of the war there were about 22,000 of them in the British Army

and they carried on making quite a contribution.

The first message of the success of D-Day

wasn't sent by electronic means but was taken by pigeon.

Talking of state-of-the-art communications,

yesterday Johnny and Charles acquired a pair of field telephones

that would easily fit in here.

So what better opportunity to find out more about them.

These two are Second World War variance. They're called the Tele F.

Came in late 1945 the MK II.

I've no doubt these were mainly used in the European campaign post D-Day.

-And you've got one almost identical in here.

-There's one almost identical in your cabinet.

-I'm quite excited.

-That's right. That one was actually used during D-Day.

-So they've got great historical significance.

-Yes.

-But as with anything... the value is dependent upon on the condition and the provenance.

-Uh-huh.

If they happened to be Montgomery's personal radios,

they would be extraordinarily valuable.

They still have a value and these are in relatively good condition.

-What are they worth?

-I would say the value for each

can be from £20 up to about £50.

Well, that'll have them looking forward to the auction.

But first there's a chance to acquire a valuable new skill.

One of the other forms that has always been around for many, many years,

was used both in the First and Second World War

are visual communications using flags.

We've got a man out here on the field

and you've got a little check card there

and he's going to send you a message via semaphore.

-Good luck, everybody.

-What's that? Is that L?

That's a J to start you off.

You send that signal back to say you've read it.

And, remember, it's reversed.

-Now he'll start his message.

-There we go.

B-A-N...

-"Ban."

-A.

-A.

-N-A. Banana! Hooray!

-Banana. We got it.

Oh, dear. Now they're having a go. Look out!

OK, that means, "Let's go."

One of you's wrong!

Sorry, that way! B.

-No!

-Sorry, A! Sorry.

These two are never going to be quite on the same page, are they?

A.

N. Um...

-A.

-What's Z?

-Er...

Z's...

-Z's that.

-Right, got it now.

-OK.

Z.

-A.

-That's it! What was that?

Bonanza!

-Abanaza!

-Oh!

Well done. Got you!

But while Johnny and Charles are having words in a field...

John and Phil already have their shop tactics finely honed.

Shall we split up or shall we just keep on working together?

-What do you think.

-Well, I think...

I would like to think that working together

has been a winning combo so far.

Yeah, we've been a good team so far, haven't we?

Our route's about to track back down south,

towards the seaside once more, and Bournemouth.

Especially rich in literary associations, is Bournemouth.

Romantic poet Shelley LITERALLY left his heart there.

Tolkien holidayed here

and Robert Louis Stevenson wrote Jekyll And Hyde

whilst staying in the town.

Now, what's the story of Molly's Den, I wonder?

-Goodness me.

-This place is massive, isn't it?

-Vast, isn't it?

Yes, it's a bit of an epic, I'd say - packed with all sorts!

-Just goes on and on, this place.

-It does, doesn't it?

They said they'd stay together

but it turns out this team has a third member.

My wife, who is not a professional expert like Phil,

but she likes to do her antique collecting,

she gave a bit of a list before I left home.

And so she said things like,

"Look out for silver spoons that have got good hallmarks on them.

"Some named sports things.

"Nothing with bumps or chips in it.

"Nothing Victorian," she said. "Go for Art Nouveau or Deco."

So I got quite a list here to work on, a little shopping list.

Sage advice, eh? Perhaps we should have booked Mrs Craven, then.

Still, at least Phil has his uses.

-It's so nice, isn't it?

-It's lovely.

-And it's £45.

Do you know what? I'm older than that is.

-It might be...three weeks old?

-Mm.

-Oh.

-Possibly four.

-Oh, no. Oh, no!

-I did say that, but...

We're going to find an antique.

That IS the point, after all.

Now, what about our leading semaphore duo?

In Blandford Forum with over £200 left,

and hot to shop.

At least, I think that's what it means.

Wow! Look at this! Ho-ho!

-Oh, very nice. Very nice.

-It has...

HE SNIFFS

-..a smell of pine, hasn't it?

-Smell of pine?

-Yes.

-Yes.

That's the smell of antiques in the afternoon, gentlemen.

That's quite nice, Johnny.

The reason I like this - can you see it's got like an orange peel effect?

Yes.

And the orange peel effect is created by the salt glaze,

that is laid on to a stoneware body.

And this is based on a Bellarmine. And it's ovoid form...

-You think it's that age?

-Um...

I think it's quite early but not overly old.

But you did buy jugs yesterday, Charles.

It's got a few chips. You know, it's got some age.

And you know how you said to me yesterday,

-there weren't that many things older than you?

-Yeah?

-This one is.

-It is, yes.

-You're in good condition, mate.

JOHNNY CHUCKLES

-Hello, sir.

-Oh!

-Good afternoon.

-How are you?

-Pleased to meet you.

-Hello.

-I'm Johnny.

-Johnny.

-This is Charles.

-Charles.

-Charles.

-And you are?

-Tony Hunt.

-Tony, hello.

-Nice to meet you. You're more than welcome.

-What's that under there?

-It's an old, painted pine box.

-May we pull it out, Tony?

-Yeah, course you can.

-Would you mind?

No, we'll have to lift that off...

-I'll have a look at this in a minute.

-May we lift your end up?

-Course you can.

-Is it not a...?

Is that not a croquet chest or something?

-No, it's bigger than a croquet one.

-It's too big, isn't it? Too big.

-And it was lockable at one time.

-Yeah.

It's quite early.

The label, we can't quite make out a date

or whether it was some sort of travelling trunk,

-maybe overseas or...

-Yeah.

Oh, I can just see... Can you see that? It says GNR.

GNR?

-Great Northern Railway.

-Correct.

-So I think it's perhaps of railwayana interest.

-Yes?

-But that's quite good.

-Yeah?

-I quite like that.

-Charles is taking over here a bit, I think.

-How much would it be?

-Put it down.

-How about if I said £20?

What is it worth, Johnny?

-I'm not keen on it. So I would say, for me, a fiver.

-Yeah.

Oh, crikey me.

Would you take £10 for it?

-Why not? Why not?

-Whoo!

-Shall we buy it?

-No. No, I don't think so.

-I'd like to buy it, Johnny.

-Oh, right.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Right. We're having our first tiff.

-We are.

Come on, you two, think like a team. No "I" and all that.

What about this, look? Now this, I think, is absolutely beautiful.

And I don't know what it is

-but that's a clamp for a table or a bench, right?

-Yes.

And that goes on there. That... You feed...

-Either sausages come out of there or...

-Oranges.

-Oranges?

-Oranges.

Oranges wouldn't come out of there. It's not big enough.

-I think it's as it says on the actual cast iron.

-Marmalade.

"The Universal Marmalade Cutter."

You've got radar eyes, you have.

He keeps them PEELED, certainly, Johnny!

So you'd quarter the oranges first?

Right, got you. You do it that way.

Then perhaps have a piece of wood about the same size to bung them in,

to keep that... And then this goes... What happens to this?

-So that...

-That just slides across to slice it off.

-Oh, it slices.

-Have we got price on this? Have we got...?

-25 on this.

-25 on that.

HE INHALES SHARPLY

-Would you take 15 for it?

-How about if we said 30 for the two?

I love the box.

We can't put those in the same lot, they're so unlike each other.

-They are. They are.

-And I think we might have too many lots.

Let's leave those two scratching their heads

and see how the opposition are faring.

Here I is.

-I just found that down there.

-Oh, I saw that earlier.

It's early 19th century. Moulded half columns.

These are called bell-push mouldings.

Because they're like a bell push.

That, at auction, is going to make...30-50 quid.

-How much is on that?

-48.

It's a bit of brown furniture.

-Yeah, I was told, "No brown furniture."

-Well, the point...

And, "No Victorian furniture."

Have a look on that list again. Did it say mirrors?

What does the list say?

-Mirrors?

-No, doesn't say mirrors.

-She's not on the phone, is she?

-We can phone her, could we?

-No.

-Just ask what she thinks about mirrors?

-Well...

-Or should we just take a risk on it?

-We'll take a risk.

-OK.

So...£48, Beverley. What...?

What will you accept on this one?

Um, just give us a second, I'll come back to you, John.

-We'll continue to have a look, all right?

-Yes.

-OK.

-Can I leave that there?

-Yeah, I'll take it. Thank you.

-Don't let anybody take it, will you?

-No.

Very civilised.

Any news on Johnny and Charles's dilemma?

CHARLES: Shall we buy the box?

If you... Look, you are the boss in the end. I've only got the money.

I'm your money-turnover man and I'm going to say,

-"We'll buy the box," OK?

-Yeah.

Shake the man's hand. Shake his hand. Thanks a lot.

So, one box for £10, but what'll go with it?

Johnny wants the marmalade cutter for £20,

but Charles prefers the cider jug for the same price.

Johnny's taking a lot of convincing, though.

I would love to buy the jug.

If it's about making money, I think that'll give us another yield,

but it's just trying to...

-Would it really?

-Yes, it would.

-The jug.

-Yeah.

-So we're not having the other two?

-We'll take the box and the jug.

We're taking the box and the jug?

And make a little liquorice all-sort of lots for the auction.

-We're not making marmalade, we have to buy marmalade.

-Correct.

I'm looking at you and I can't believe what you're saying.

I can't believe what you're doing with our money.

-So that's an attractive jug?

-Yeah.

-And that's an attractive box?

-Yes.

-Really?

-And we go, go, go.

I think this is all about to kick off.

Begins with S, but it's not smart. It's...

HE MOUTHS

What did you say? Stupendous?

The marmalade cutter will make money. It will make money.

-I would definitely take the jug and the box.

-Right.

Have you got boxing gloves?

Steady on, Johnny.

I don't think I can agree to this,

because when you put the two together, you will devalue both.

That box we've bought and I think it will triple its price,

I think it'll make £30 plus. All day long.

So the marmalade cutter and the box.

-Yeah.

-Marmalade cutter and the box going once, going twice...

-But not the jug.

-But not the jug.

I don't want it. Go on, I'll take it, because you're the man.

-Thank you very much.

-We'll take it.

-Here's one for you. Two for you. Three for you.

-Thank you very much.

-Thanks a lot.

-Thanks for keeping out of it, that was very good.

Compromise pulled off, but what a fuss over £20, eh?

Back in Bournemouth,

John and Phil have got a deal for £25 on their mirror.

Best price, £25.

-25?

-You're an angel.

-Will you go for that?

-Yeah, absolutely.

Plus they found a cribbage set with the ticket price of £35 and this...

The only reason why I like the mandolin is because I am of a certain age,

Mike Oldfield, Tubular Bells, mandolin!

I can't play it. How much is that?

That is...

-£55. Circa

-1900. This looks like it's sat in mahogany.

-I mean, I wouldn't want to go and make that for 50 quid, would you?

-No.

These things are by and large Neapolitan.

And how do they go at auction? This kind of instrument?

I actually sold a mandolin last week for nearly £1,500.

-Oh, really? We'll buy this one then.

-But it wasn't that one.

So what's it to be? These two are so of one mind

that Phil's let John do the deal.

I'm torn between these two, so what's the best price on both?

OK, we can do 35 on the mandolin.

-That's down 20.

-And 20 on the crib set.

Much as a like the cribbage sets,

I think that this is probably going to sell better in the auction.

-That is the very lowest, is it?

-Yes, I'm afraid it is.

OK, you've got a deal, 35. Plus I'll take the mirror, as well,

-and that was 25. So...

-25 and 35.

-Makes 60.

-£60.

-£60. There we are.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you very much.

Deal's done.

I'll take my mandolin and go play.

Not yet, John. No swimming, either.

With the last deal done, it's time to see what's been bought.

Three, two, one, up and away, look at that.

John Craven, look at that.

-What is it?

-This is a chest.

It was a railway chest and we think it's a lovely chest,

-and we think it's a bargain.

-Great Northern Railway. It was £10.

-Cheap.

-10 quid, wow.

-This is wonderful.

This is an eight-prong hedge trimmer which you can do that...

-That's clever.

-..or you can do like that. Isn't that lovely?

To go with that, because it's part of the same lot

is another slicer...

Cutting devices in one lot, sharp thinking.

That is for what?

-That's for slicing beans.

-Incorrect.

-Close, but incorrect.

-A marmalade slicer.

Marmalade, that's what it is. Gordon Ramsay would snap that up.

We do like these jugs, because they are beautiful.

-I think they're awful.

-John Craven, look at the jugs.

He's not like this on Countryfile.

These are Bretby, John -

1930s, Art Deco, look at the exterior feel about them.

They've got that country look, they've got the bees and...

-Silver buttons?

-Yes, but about George III.

-They are quite early ones...

-That's George II.

-Along with this, and you know what that is...

-Cigarette lighter.

Sharkskin. That is sharkskin.

How can that be connected with some Georgian silver buttons?

We bought him at the same time.

Don't look for logic in it, chaps.

Now, your turn.

Three, two, one, go.

-Oh, wow.

-Hey-ho, how about all that?

-This is a grain measure.

-A grain measure.

A grain measure from about 1880.

Our mirror, which is William IV Regency, bell-push mouldings.

-CHARLES:

-Has a great colour, Phil, love the pilasters, as well.

-25 quid.

-Cheap.

-There's an Arts And Crafts panel there.

-Oh, wow.

-Which was £30.

-That is beautiful.

-CHARLES: She is just...

-Oh, that is gorgeous.

And this is probably the most unusual thing of the lot.

This is from a 1930s seaplane.

-Wow.

-And it is a little shelf to put your drinks on,

by the side of your chair.

That's a propeller from the seaplane

and all these little bits are from the cowlings of the seaplane.

-It cost you how much? PHIL:

-80 quid.

-What a wonderful buy.

There is, however, one more item, just have a look at this, then.

Because we bought these two staddle-stone bases here.

-Oh, they're nice.

-Portland, stand that high.

-JOHN: In a farmyard.

They must be... I mean, they went out with modern farming.

-How much, Philip?

-75 quid the two.

-I think you've done very well

and I think we've all together bought some good things.

Absolutely. Nothing predictable, really.

But what did they really think?

There's not a lot of stuff on their little table that I would like.

I loved that little propeller stand, don't you?

-The hedge trimmer, that was fun.

-Fun, aren't they?

But overall I would rather have our money invested in our items,

than their money invested in theirs.

Who am I behind? Team Ball.

I think that's great.

And I think we're going to slaughter them at the auction.

Yeah! After starting out in Hampshire at Ringwood,

our celebrities and experts will now motor up to Oxfordshire

for an auction at Watlington.

Big day, Johnny. How you feeling?

I think we might make three or four pounds.

Maybe add a couple of noughts on that.

Oh, that'd be lovely, we'd do it.

Look at this region we're driving through now.

Those stone ornaments are made

for maybe an entrance to a nice front,

made for a gateway like here, wonderful.

-Or they're great ram-raiding posts.

-What?!

Thanks, Charles.

Welcome to Jones And Jacob of Watlington,

where we're online this morning.

Tension mounts.

I wonder what auctioneer Simon Jones

makes of their rather large collection.

There's the staddle stone bases. Now, they are just remarkable.

They're a bit big and it would've been nice to have had four,

so you could have propped the whole barn up,

rather than just half a barn.

Then there's also the nice set of early silver buttons

and the shagreen lighter.

People like that sort of thing, so we should do quite well with those.

There's a lovely table made out of bits of an old flying boat,

which are really interesting.

Only wish we knew which sort of flying boat it was.

Johnny and Charles bought six auction lots

for a total of just £195.

While John and Phil spent £275 on their six lots.

This is quite a place, isn't it?

Please take your seats, fellas.

Oh, this is comfy.

-Might never get up.

-This beats a hard-back chair, doesn't it?

We've just popped in to see what's going gone. Ta-dah!

On that note, let's start with Johnny's Bretby jugs.

-£40-£60, estimate.

-And they cost us 35. That's a good start.

-Ssh!

Sorry! And they were very cheap!

What can we say for those? £40 or £50?

30 to start me. £30, £20, the Bretby.

-15 to start. Dear, oh, dear, you are a tight lot.

-There are two!

Yes, we have got two. £30. £20.

10, then, to go. Oh, dear.

Somebody must buy them for 10. They've got to go.

I can't go down any lower. Five, then, to go..

Oh, yes, he can.

-I don't like them.

-Eight, £10, at eight pounds, then.

HE BANGS GAVEL Oh, no. I'm sorry.

Not an auspicious start for those two.

I don't know what you think, John, but that's really sad, isn't it?

Well, that's a bad start, isn't it?

Depends on your perspective, it's quite a good start for us.

It's good for us.

Perhaps their little Steiff critters

will wipe that smile off Phil's face.

£50?

30 then, start me for the pieces.

20 to go.

-Steiff.

-15.

15, I'm bid, 18 anywhere?

18. 20? 20, I'm bid. 22?

At £20, then, you all happy at 20?

Nobody seems to want Steiff for £20 then all done at 20.

-Cheap at twice the price.

-We've been done. He's right, we've been done.

You've been done very well, though, Johnny.

They don't seem all that bothered.

I thought Watlington would have been more discerning.

-Precisely. That's what they are!

-Probably.

John and Phil's turn. Mandolin.

£50?

30 to start me?

£30, I'm bid, 32 anywhere?

32, 34. 36?

£34, then. You all happy at £34?

-That's a loss.

-All done at 34.

-Oh, dear.

Not quite as bad as the previous losses, though.

Next, will one of John's country lots appeal?

£30, £40 for it?

20 start me, then.

15, I'm bid. 18 anywhere?

£15, you all happy at 15?

All done then at 15.

-Goodness me, I don't believe it.

-I believe it!

Blimey, John and Phil have lost less so far, but they've staked £80 more.

You know, in the car, this morning,

-this was all about the highs and lows.

-Yes.

-Can I just ask when will the highs be coming?

-Never.

-Oh, right.

Time for some items Johnny was especially passionate about.

Let's get back in the game, Johnny Ball.

-Let's gets back in the game, OK?

-Don't tell them it's us.

Most celebrities aren't shy about that, Johnny.

What can we save for those? £30-£40? 20 to start?

£20, I am bid, 22 anywhere, before I got to the phone?

Coming to you now at 22.

24 with me.

26. 28.

30 with you.

£30, it's on the telephone,

it's against you all in the room at £30. All done.

HE BANGS GAVEL

Good buy. I mean, goodbye.

On the bright side, it's their smallest loss yet. Ha!

Anyway, what happens on this programme is that we go out

and buy things and make money at an auction, that's the way it works.

How come it's not working?

We got the first bit all right.

John's quite excited about his discovery,

perhaps a bit overexcited.

Hang on, John, this isn't it.

-At 250.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

-Wow! Well done.

-No, it's not us, though.

-CHARLES: "Well done."

-Was that not ours?

Oh, I thought that was ours!

Oh, here it comes now. Now for reality.

What shall I say for that?

-80 or £90?

-CUSTOMER:

-90.

-90, I'm bid.

-Get in.

£90, then. 95,

100, 110, 120,

130, 140?

130 then. Behind me at 130. All done at 130.

Well, that's something, isn't it?

-A result.

-Not quite as good as your 250, John, but it will do.

-Yes!

It certainly will. A proper profit at last!

This fire screen's one of John's, too. Stand by.

£40, £50 for this?

Dear, oh, dear. You are a tight lot.

30 then to start me.

30, I'm bid. 32, 34?

At £32, then. 34 anywhere?

-At £32, all done at £32.

-Profit, isn't it?

Maybe so, but John and Phil are still in the lead

and it's about time that Johnny and Charles made a good call.

A complete original.

You could have them in the drawing room

-to call Mrs Hanson, couldn't you?

-Absolutely.

£40 for them.

20, then, to start me.

£20 I'm bid. 22 anywhere?

You all happy at 20?

All done at 20 for the two telephones.

22, 24?

£22, then, standing by the door.

All done at 22, I've already got mine. At £22.

HE BANGS GAVEL

Whatever Watlington wants, our chaps cannot supply it it seems.

What is all this doing for your reputations?

-We never had a reputation!

-What reputation?!

He's seen this programme before.

It was purchased against Mrs Craven's advice,

but can the mirror succeed?

I'm a bit anxious.

-It'll be fine.

-What, you mean like all the other things were fine?

This is solid. This is a solid Victorian antique.

Hold it up a bit, love.

It ought to make £60.

-90, I'm bid, 95?

-Brilliant.

£90, then, with Alan at £90 for the wall mirror.

All done at 90, with Alan.

Yeah, big hand, Phil, an expert comes up trumps.

Now, Johnny wasn't keen, but Charles insisted they bought this box.

20 then to start me.

Dear, oh, dear. Nobody into railway et ceteras? 15 to go?

-Got to sell it.

-Oh, it's painful.

-15. Somebody must buy it for 15.

Who likes to buy unusual things?

This is nice and unusual.