James Bolam and Susan Jameson Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

The nation's favourite celebrities...

We're special then, are we?

-That's excellent.

-..paired up with an expert...

-We're a good team.

-..and a classic car.

-Oh!

Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

-I've no idea what it is.

-Oh, I love it.

The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

-Yes!

-But it's no easy ride.

There's no accounting for taste.

Who will find a hidden gem?

Who will take the biggest risks? Will anybody follow expert advice?

-Do you like them?

-No.

There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.

-Are you happy?

-Yes.

-Promise?

-Time to put your pedal to the metal.

This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Today's Celebrity Road Trip is a battle of man versus wife.

Or should I say man versus road?

-Have you got out of second gear at all?

-I'm in third!

I beg your pardon.

Veteran actor, James Bowlam, is in the driving seat today.

-Are you going to drive at this speed the whole time?

-Yes.

-OK.

-I don't want to push the car too hard.

-No.

I'm not like you, tearing round the countryside. SHE LAUGHS

And our reluctant passenger is James's wife and fellow actor,

Susan Jameson.

They are trundling along in a 1969 Morris Minor Traveller.

Its seat belt free, all perfectly legal in classic cars,

which predate the law,

and they've had experience of a Morris Minor named Margaret before.

-I used to drive her a bit, because that's when we first met.

-Was it?

Yes, and she was named Margaret, after Margaret Morris,

-who was the casting...

-The casting lady at Granada.

-That's right.

I don't know if she ever knew we'd need a car after her.

With an acting career spanning over five decades,

James Bolan was awarded an MBE in 2009 for his services to drama.

Some of his most memorable roles are The Likely Lads,

When The Boat Comes In and, more recently,

playing retired officer Jack Halford in New Tricks.

When we were still in the job Brian applied to university

as a mature student.

-Really? What happened?

-They interviewed him.

Oh.

James is an antiques amateur,

but bird lover Susan has a bit more flair for collecting old objects.

I've no idea what I'm going to buy.

But you ought to go for some birding pictures and things like that.

-A birdie sculpture would be nice.

-A little sculpture.

Susan has also been a star of television

and radio for over 50 years.

Her first big role was Myra Booth in Coronation Street in the '60s.

But she's since shared the screen with James many a time,

from When The Boat Comes In to New Tricks.

Despite their on and off-screen chemistry,

today is all about opposition.

-Who's going to win?

-How do I know who's going to win?

-Well, I think I am.

-You probably will.

Well, if I win, you can

-do the washing up for a week.

-What?!

-Yeah. OK?

-What if I win?

-You can take me out for a meal.

-Oh, cheers.

Win-win for Susan and the challenge is set.

But our young lovebirds aren't alone in their quest.

Heading their way are two of Britain's foremost antiques experts,

James Braxton and David Harper.

And their chariot today is the 1971 convertible Triumph TR6.

-It's a very strange car, this.

-Don't you think this sums up the mid-70s?

-We need big hairy chests and medallions.

-I know.

That's more than we could take, thank you very much.

-Anyway, back to the game in hand.

-So, do you know these celebrities?

Not personally, but I have been watching them all my life.

I particularly remember James Bowlam from The Likely Lads.

-Do you remember The Likely Lads?

-I do know them from New Tricks.

I know you're fans of them both of them both,

-but I'd quite like to go with James.

-Fine, OK. So I'll go with Susan.

That's that sorted, then.

Each of our pairs will have £400 to splash as their foray for trinkets

and treasures takes them on a tour of the seaside.

They will travel through the coastal county of Sussex before heading

inland to an auction in Dorking, Surrey.

But first our duos must come together,

then divide and conquer, beginning in beautiful Brighton.

They're probably having a paddle in the sea or something.

No, it's just that James is driving.

ALL EXCHANGE GREETINGS

-Nice to meet you.

-We were saying we were a bit envious.

-Yes, it's very nice.

-And it'll be warm.

I used to have an open car but I got rid of it

because you got to keep it so tidy.

Because as you driving along everything blows out of the car.

It does, yeah. So Susan and I are together, you two are together.

The first couple to finish shopping gets to choose the cars,

-in other words, the Moggie.

-Oh, I see. LAUGHTER

-So we'd better get cracking, then.

-Are we going to be fast, Susan?

-No.

Oh, no!

Shall we run, then? Come on.

He seems keen.

Brighton is most famous for its iconic Grade 2 listed pier.

It opened in May 1899 at a cost of £137,000 to build.

Three million people flock to see it every year,

but this foursome has no time for sightseeing.

-I'm going to rub my lamp.

-Whatever works for you, Susan.

LAUGHTER

Family run Brighton Lanes Antique Centre is nestling amongst the alleys

full of independent shops within the city centre's historic quarter.

This shop is split over two units across an alley,

and it's an old haunt of James Braxton's.

So, Team James could be in luck here.

James, you know this part of the world - is it full of treasure?

-It's full of treasure. James, we'll take the far one.

-Right.

-He seems to know where he's going. That's a bit worrying.

-I know.

So Susan and David have to be on the ball to take the advantage.

I think I'm going to need my glasses.

-It's always a good idea to see, Susan. That's the first rule.

-Yes.

That will help.

-Where do you start?

-I always start with the owner.

-Turn on the charm?

We'll try to. I'll leave the charm to you.

-Is there anything in particular that you really like?

-Silver?

-Or little sculptury things.

-Oh, right.

-I like things that have use.

-Good.

-Rather than just ornamental.

OK.

When you're starting out, antique shops can be daunting,

often rants to the rafters with goodies.

So picking out a few specifics to look for can stop you being

overwhelmed and save an awful lot of time.

-It's very expensive, that.

-You've got good taste. Expensive taste.

-Is that normal? Do you have expensive tastes generally?

-Maybe.

-Do you?

-(Except in men.)

-Oh, really?

Moving on, next door shop's owner's daughter, Olivia,

is trying to bowl the chaps over with an antique skittles set.

So your balls are there, are they? These are your balls?

-They just pull off.

-That's quite nice.

But, contrary to Susan saying she doesn't shop fast,

she's already spotted a cutlery set that ticks both her boxes.

It looks like it could be silver and practical.

-Tell me why you were drawn to that.

-I like the patterning on it.

-SHE WINCES I say!

-Cutlery?!

-Yeah. And there's chopsticks.

-Chopsticks.

Yeah, and this is your little container.

-You know you say keep your thumb on the blade and strike upwards?

-No!

Where were you trained? You don't learn this in theatre?

-Shakespearian.

-I say!

Looks like David should keep on Susan's good side!

-It's definitely Chinese or Japanese.

-Is it?

-I thought perhaps it was Indian.

-No, I think it's much further east.

-You've got chopsticks.

-Of course. Silly me.

But its shop assistant, Sev,

whose good side they need to keep on to get a good deal.

What are you thinking, Sev, material wise?

It's a white metal but there are no hallmarks.

It has the feel of silver.

It does and it is the weight of silver but there is no hallmark

and there are no identifying marks on it at all, are there?

It's a real novelty thing. Novelty works well in auctions.

I would be interested in that if I was at an auction.

Susan's instinct is telling her she could be onto something

if it's silver, as she suspects, but they are not committing just yet.

Back next door, the chaps have found

something that could strike a note at auction.

What about your bugle down there, Livia?

-I've just bought one in the other shop.

-Have you?

There's a silver-plated one across the other side.

-That's done service, hasn't it?

-It looks as if it has.

LOUD HONKING

-It's got a lovely tone!

-Very good. Very impressed.

It's got a very nice tone, hasn't it?

And silver-plated, so it's for a silver band.

-Toby, can you go and get the bugle for me, please?

-Look lively, lad.

Got the runner. Ask Sev for it.

Livia's son, Toby, is hanging out with his mum for the day

during half-term.

The instrument in question is actually a pocket trumpet

and, funnily enough, it's right next to Susan and David,

and it looks like silver and it's practical.

-Toby, pop back a minute. Is that going to your mum?

-Yes.

-Is James interested?

-No idea.

-I think they might be.

-Does that make you more interested, Susan?

-Yes.

-It makes me interested.

Playing dirty.

I like it.

We've got a royal coat of arms there.

-That's a very nice bit of kit, isn't it? Silver-plated.

-I like this.

I like that. It's been silver-plated

and you can see the copper coming through.

So that's what we call in the trade bleeding.

-Give it a blow!

-Well, I'll try.

FEEBLE TOOTING

Oh, don't give up the day job.

Meanwhile, Team James are waiting patiently for Toby and the bugle.

Well, actually, it's a pocket trumpet, in the other shop.

Go on, Toby.

DISTANT TOOTING

-That's probably Toby!

-That's Toby playing the bugle.

No, it isn't.

TOOTING

-Oh!

-Susan, that is remarkably bad.

-It's my embouchure.

The silver-plated turn-of-the-century pocket trumpet

was made in Manchester by Joseph Higham,

a prolific maker of musical instruments.

It also carries a royal coat of arms which could help

pull in the punters at auction.

-So, how much is this?

-I know what the best is on that. 125.

-125.

Date wise, it's got to be late 19th, early 20th-century.

TRUMPET BLOWS

Uh-oh, looks like they've been caught in the act.

-I'm just piping on board deck.

-THEY LAUGH

We were in a marching band, what's that?

-That's a coronet, is it, or something?

-You're not having this.

-No, we fancy this. Have you bought that?

-No, we haven't bought it.

HE BLOWS, THEY LAUGH

SHE BLOWS THE BUGLE

-It's a battle of the duelling bugles.

-Very good.

HE BLOWS That's terrible.

This has got a great sound.

That just sounds like some old car that's not very well!

I love it. I think we need to find out a bit more about it.

DAVID: Do you quite fancy that? Livia?

-Can we have you?

-You can have me.

Susan is not only snatching the trumpet from under

her husband's nose, but she is also taking Livia from them too.

-Right.

-We like this.

-Talk to us about this.

-Only just come in.

-It hasn't gone out.

-Right.

Being charitable, you can have it for £100.

Put it this way, I'd put it in the shop for more,

-so you're getting a bargain.

-OK, OK.

-Can't do a tiny bit less? Tiny?

-90. 90, then.

Oh, Susan is good, isn't she?

And whilst they're at it,

they're trying to get a deal for the cutlery set too.

Any compromise between the two?

Being charitable, 140.

-Well, decision time? Is it 140 or nothing?

-140 or nothing.

-OK, it's 140 or nothing. We've got £400.

-Yeah, go on.

-Let's do it.

-Thank you very much.

-Absolutely.

-OK. Well done.

But whilst Mum is busy and with no ticket price,

James and James are trying to put in a cheeky offer on the bugle.

Toby? 20 quid for this.

-Well done. Good man.

-I am not sure that is strictly above board.

Meanwhile, the other team haven't finished yet.

-Can I show you something that I really love?

-Yes, you can.

I just think it is incredibly stylish, a big lump of glass,

-hand blown.

-I don't like it. I don't think the top goes with the bottom.

You know what, you are brilliant, because you are so right.

Susan is definitely getting the hang of this.

That top is probably Venetian, could be Murano.

You're right, that lacquered stand was made in China.

That's too big and hefty to go with the glass.

They've been married together.

People do buy those Chinese stands

and you would be amazed what these things can make. Even though...

I am in your hands.

-You're going to blame me if it all goes wrong, though?!

-No.

-I like this, James, don't you?

-I think we have done a good deal there.

It's a great deal. Toby, has this been ratified by your mother?

Has she approved the deal?

-Yes.

-There we are. Toby, thank you very much.

-What do you say?

-Shake hands? Thank you.

-Toby, thank you.

You've got all of the Jameses and Mum, thank you very much indeed.

Thank you.

As Susan swiped the trumpet

before they even got the chance to look at it,

Team James are left with just the military bugle for £20.

So that means the chaps could be getting cosy in the Minor

if they choose, rather than shivering in the open-top Triumph.

-Here we are. We've finished. We're all done.

-What's that?

This is a bugle. What's this?!

-It took a lot of negotiation, I can tell you.

-And horn blowing, we heard.

Lovely tone, this one.

Well, not what we heard, James, was it someone else playing?

-So, we have won the car, have we?

-We're off. We're all done. Bye.

Do you think they might do the gentlemanly thing?

-I doubt it.

-That's for you to know!

Come on, let's go.

David has not given up convincing Susan that the glass bowl

-and stand is for them.

-I will try and capture you with price.

-Livy, hello.

-Hi.

-Oh, and Toby as well.

-Toby as well! Half term.

There's a lovely bowl in the other shop, a blue one, you know the one?

I know the bowl. 125. It's stunning.

It's a lovely bit of art glass, isn't it?

-Very pretty.

-Can we split them? Can you sell the bowl for 40?

-You can have them both for 100.

-What about 70 for the two?

-Give me 90.

-Make it 80 and I will have it.

-80 for the two? Go on.

-Good.

Thank you very much.

That's three items, the cutlery set,

the silver-plated pocket trumpet

and the Murano glass bowl and stand for £220.

And to top it all, the Jameses had even left them

the cosy Morris Minor.

-Oh, bless.

-Oh, my goodness me.

They're going for the public, "We're nice guys."

-No, I think they couldn't remember where it was.

-Do you think so?!

Meanwhile, Team James are taking the Triumph TR6 north to Lewes

East Sussex, with the top up,

so that the wind doesn't mess up their hair. Oh.

So, have you ever played the elderly antique dealer yet?

-No, no, missed all that, I'm afraid.

-Missed all that.

I suppose one does get involved in antiques in a certain way.

We do something like When The Boat Comes In, of course,

you get all of these First World War uniforms.

Oh, but team James has still got plenty of money to play with.

Is there anything you are particularly interested in,

-antique-wise?

-Well, not really, you see, at home,

we don't have any sort of antiques, really.

We always have dogs and cats.

You can't surround yourself with objets d'art.

-Where do you put all those trophies and accolades, then?

-I don't get any!

-Rubbish!

-I don't get any accolades!

-Apart from the MBEs.

-Oh, well, that, yes.

-HE LAUGHS

Yes, there is that.

With the break in their shopping,

the chaps were in Lewes to learn about a local landmark,

one of the oldest breweries in the UK, Harvey & Sons.

The Harvey family have been in the alcohol industry

since the late 18th century.

John Harvey established the brewery here in 1838.

The business has since been passed down through

eight generations of the family and they are still in charge today.

Managing director, Miles Jenner, may not be related to the Harveys,

but he followed in his own father's footsteps,

Anthony Jenner, who was once the MD and head brewer.

Harveys is the most beautiful example of a Victorian Gothic style.

Very much the formal landmark to this area of Lewes

and rather irreverently known locally as Lewes Cathedral.

THEY LAUGH

As trade increased, the original brewhouse became worn,

so they needed to replace it.

It was rebuilt in 1881 by a very famous brewery architect

called William Bradford, and he produced a typical tower brewery.

And the whole principle of brewing is literally

-dropping from the top to the bottom by gravity.

-Yes, wonderful.

The brewery used to take water directly from the River Ouse,

and pump it up to the top of the tower,

using gravity to drop the water through the brewing process.

Even though the site has been modernised,

traditional methods are key to this family-run business,

which had been noted down through its history

in special handwritten ledgers.

So, these are all brewing journals?

I have volumes and volumes,

every single one handwritten at the end of the day's brewing.

Which is what has happened to the beer, or...?

It's the raw materials that have gone into the beer. And any notes,

anything that has happened during the day that we should be aware of.

-One year, this place was flooded, wasn't it?

-Absolutely, yes.

We've a flood entry in our journal.

We had two brews, we've got the flood brew at the top.

And that all went out and was bottled as Ouse booze.

Some of the journals date back almost 200 years.

One of the first is original founder John Harvey's

from the 1830s, detailing the odd brewing catastrophe.

"A bad job today.

"The pipes burst in the river and we had to brew from the river water.

"First brewing today, very thick and muddy."

THEY LAUGH

So, it is a piece of social history.

It's not just problems recorded -

one of the previous head brewers also included personal highlights.

"This morning, 7:12, my wife confined with a little girl."

So, birth intermingled into the brewing records.

Harveys produced 36,000 barrels of beer every year.

Their traditional ales aren't pasteurised,

so the yeast remains active.

For the last 50 years, they have skimmed off yeast from each brew

to re-use it in the next batch,

helping to maintain a consistent flavour.

And at the end of a day's shopping, it would be rude

not to sample the local speciality!

We're going to try the best bitter, which is 90% of our volume.

It was evolved, really, after the Second World War as a local brand.

-Cheers.

-Cheers. Cheers, good health.

-Lovely to see you.

-Good health.

-It's lovely, isn't it? Isn't that right?

-That's really, really dry.

Very much characteristic of the Sussex beer -

good, hot character, but the sweetness there to balance it.

And I think brewers by and large, certainly of my generation,

look for balanced beer.

-When you lose your balance, you've had enough.

-Exactly! It's very good.

It's delicious. Well, we will tip those away.

James isn't happy with that!

The idea of somebody taking my beer out of my hand

-and throwing it down the sink!

-Do we have to go, James?

-Think we have to, I'm afraid. We must.

-Oh, dear.

-Thank you so much.

Thank you for coming.

Probably best leave the car until tomorrow, though.

-No driving for us, James, is there?

-Shanks's pony.

While the fellows have been supping Sussex's special brew,

Susan and David have been pootling along to Peacehaven.

So, what about you and Jim? When did you meet?

-We met on The Lads. Likely Lads.

-Oh, OK.

So, what did you think of him when you first saw him?

-I thought he was a bit loud.

-HE LAUGHS

-He thought I was a bit stuck up.

-No!

And you still get on really well together, don't you?

Yeah, yeah, really do. Yeah, it's great.

-That's probably special after all of these years.

-Mmmm.

Susan and David are heading to this divine seaside town to spend

some of the £180 still in their pockets.

Now, then, is there a competitive streak in your game?

-Oh, I shall win.

-Really?

-But I don't have a competitive streak.

It's confident, though. Great confidence there.

-I'm just being realistic.

-Right, OK.

So, you look at the competition, your Jim and James Braxton

-and you are confident.

-They've got no chance.

-I'm agree with you.

-OK.

-That's fighting talk there.

But they must shop well, if they are going to stand a chance at auction.

The next stop is the family-run Collectors Haven.

-Here we are.

-Look at this.

-I like the sale.

-And manning the fort today is owner Steve Newman.

-Hey.

-Hi, hello. Hello.

-Right, so, well.

-Treasure trove in here.

-Dive in. Dive in.

-Yet again, Susan is quick off the mark.

-What have you got there?

-It's a lizard.

-Oh, nice.

-It's sandal, sandalwood.

-Is it sandalwood?

-Yeah.

-Let's have a look at that.

Tell me why you are drawn to that?

-Cos I like lizards.

-Do you?

-I'll put my glasses on.

-Actually, it is really well carved, I have got to say.

-It's lovely.

-Do you know, I like this.

-I'm not knocking him.

I think he's really incredibly well done.

OK, he's bonkers. He's got no age to him.

Stevie's in such a good mood that we know we could get that...

Get him for £3.

-Yes, well...

-I'm sure we can... I'm sure we can let that one go.

Susan's following her heart and she seems to be on a roll here.

-Oh, hello.

-Oh, hello, another animal.

Inevitably.

These look like temple dogs.

That's exactly what they are - Buddhistic, protecting lion dogs.

Very tactile.

-You like 'em?

-They feel so nice in your hands.

-Let me have a feel.

-They do.

-Don't they?

-They are made to be touched and to be held.

-Yeah.

They are sadly quite modern.

-Nevertheless...

-Nevertheless, they're very interesting.

-Do you like them?

-I do.

-I do.

-Are they talking to you?

-Yeah, they are.

-Seriously?

-They spoke to me in there.

-Really?

Have you been to the doctor's, or...?

Yes, he said it's going to happen more and more,

as I get older!

-I like 'em.

-I like them, actually.

But they'd have to be cheap.

They don't always have a lizard with them.

You see, cos you'd have a lizard in a temple.

I think Susan will be getting her way with that lizard.

What do you think, Steve?

Erm...

I'd offer them to you for 25.

How does that sound?

WHISPERS: Rubbish.

No, I don't think it's rubbish,

I think it's a reasonable place to start.

She's on fire.

Who needs David?

Bearing in mind we might almost certainly be having the lizard.

-Oh, right.

-I'd take a very small profit at 20.

Would that suit you?

I think that's quite acceptable. Are we including the lizard in that 20?

I'll include the lizard in the deal as well.

Excuse me - how on Earth did she do that?

The dogs, that's the thing.

You see, they've been in my hands, they told me how to do it.

Whatever works, Susan.

I think a spot of the Jameson charm helped, though.

So that's £20 for their fourth lot of the day,

the hand-carved lizard and the pair of soapstone temple dogs.

Bye-bye, bye-bye, thank you.

A fantastic first day for both teams

in this husband-versus-wife challenge.

That was the best bit of negotiating I've seen in years.

Oh, thank you.

And now all that's left is for the sun to turn its light off.

Nighty-night.

Another day dawns and both of our antiques amateurs

and aficionados are raring to go.

Oh, watch out!

That's the end of that car.

They don't make 'em like that any more. Oh, dear.

We've got to get our act together today, me and James.

I think you have.

-I'm not sure how much expertise is actually exercised.

-Not a lot!

He was quite an expert in the brewery, I thought.

Yes, you spent rather a long time in there.

But Susan was having a rather lovely time herself with David.

-He's fab.

-Good.

Yes, we're quite simpatico.

I think I'm probably going to run off with him at the end of the day.

-Fantastic, fantastic.

-I knew you'd be glad.

Liar. While they bumble along in the Morris Minor Traveller,

James and David are tearing it up in the Triumph TR6.

How did you get on with the lovely Susan yesterday?

Well, wasn't she fun? She really is an absolute cracker.

She's a very nice lady.

What an attractive lady.

I think she's one of those people just generally interested in life.

-Yeah.

-And anything.

Sounds like David's smitten with Susan too.

She's even charmed opposition James.

-She's a cracking eye. What a little negotiator.

-Really?

The final chap was mauled by a lamb.

I'm yet to test James, one - on what he wants to buy,

and two - whether he's as good a negotiator as his wife.

Good luck on that one. I doubt it very much.

Crack negotiator and super-charmer Susan,

and David, have splashed out £240 on a Japanese cutlery set,

a silver-plated pocket trumpet,

a glass bowl and stand, a hand-carved lizard

and a pair of temple dogs, as you do,

leaving them with £160 to spend today.

Team James has only spent £20 so far on a military bugle,

so they've got £380 to spend wisely today,

if James Bolam would rather take his wife out to dinner

than have a week of washing up.

Ha!

This is the right way, I hope.

There isn't a sat nav in this, believe it or not.

It's back to the seaside for our treasure seekers,

who are descending on the costal town of Bexhill.

James and David are catching some rays

as they wait for Susan and James.

Again.

Where are they? Come on!

Look at that moggie - isn't she gorgeous?

-Good, isn't it?

-Loving it.

Oh, I say...!

ALL: Morning! Morning!

-Nicely rested?

-Yes.

Hang on a minute, we're all kind of like on trend...

I'm very dark and sombre, aren't I?

I like it, I like it.

A man who means business.

-Oh!

-Ah!

Makes me feel very confident.

Anyway, we struck lucky, we're in here, James.

Wonderful.

-They're off along the coast.

-You'll want that, then, won't you?

Shall I do the honours, madam?

I think you'd better, my legs are too short.

Good luck, chaps.

Good luck, good luck.

Not too much.

Team James has the whole

of the huge antique furniture and vintage fitting shop, Eras of Style,

at their fingertips.

We've found the right place here, James. Enormous variety here.

There are 11 rooms inside and an outside garden area,

so thousands of items to choose from here.

James Bolam's a keen golfer,

and keeping an eye out for handy bits of kit is par for the course.

£25.

You see, that's lovely, isn't it?

-A lovely bit of design, isn't it?

-Absolutely, marvellous.

You can have that on your golf bag, you see?

While you're waiting for your partner to line up his putt.

Yeah.

-Sit down and...

-That's perfect, isn't it?

It's atually a three-legged, folding shooting stick,

but it can be used for other outdoor pursuits,

which could help at auction.

Good find, James. What else have you got?

-Look at these, carved.

-Yeah.

And all carved out of a single piece of wood.

Probably from somewhere like Nigeria or somewhere, isn't it?

I don't know, I've never seen anything like it before.

Brilliant, yeah.

You can see the form of it, can't you?

-That's amazing, it's wonderful.

-Yeah. 125.

You'd get it for a lot less than that.

Yeah, we'll get it for a lot less.

-Do you like that, then, James?

-I do, actually. Don't you?

I think it's unusual.

James started out not knowing what he wanted,

but he's getting into the swing of things.

Susan's love of birds may have rubbed off on him,

but a hefty ticket price of £295 could put these bronze cranes

out of their league.

-Cranes?

-I think they're cranes, aren't they?

They've got some good feet, they're cemented into something.

They weight a ton, I should think.

Ooh, I can't lift them! They're rather splendid, aren't they?

-They're nice, aren't they?

-They are.

I think they might be another candidate. Do you like them?

Sue would like them, I'm sure.

-Cos she loves birds.

-That's always good.

Always good to buy something that somebody else has slightly...

She'd go, "Ooh, I should have bought them."

So with three potential items, the fellas find owner Andy Towle

to try and strike a deal, starting with the £125 African table.

-I'd do that for £70, if it helps.

-IN COCKNEY ACCENT:

-£70, yeah.

I think that's fair. I think that's excellent.

Yeah, we'll have a go at that. Let's take that, shall we?

Yes, lovely. Thank you.

Well, there wasn't much negotiation there.

They must be pretty confident with what they've chosen.

-Is there anything else you've seen?

-I quite like those cranes.

The cranes out in the garden.

They're sold, I'm afraid.

-They're sold?

-Sold, are they?

-They are.

I sold those at the weekend.

-So they're out.

-Well, that's that plan out of the window.

So the fellas head back on the hunt for a replacement.

This is a wine cooler, silver-plated,

it's not a lot of money.

If we're struggling a bit,

I might introduce this as a candidate to James.

Meanwhile, Susan and David have edged east

towards St Leonards-on-Sea

as they reminisce about the '60s.

-Tell me about Coronation Street.

-Coronation Street, yeah.

-Fun?

It was extraordinary, actually.

We did the rehearsals and on the Friday lunchtime,

-somebody turned up and gave me a brown envelope.

-Oh, yeah?

-I thought, "Ooh!", and I had a look inside and there was £25 in it!

-£25?

And then I discovered that it wasn't my wages.

It was my expenses for the week.

-For the week?

-For the week.

I'd never had expenses before

and never seen that amount of money all in one envelope before.

-That's champagne expenses back then!

-Just fantastic.

Sadly for Susan, she has to spend her remaining £180 on shopping,

not champagne. Ha!

The next stop is the Kings Road Bazaar in the heart of St Leonards.

-Right, here we are. Let's go do some seaside shopping.

-OK.

This indoor emporium is home to 14 separate stalls.

-Today, we're in the capable Hands of stallholder Clive.

-Hello, there.

-Hi, there. Susan.

-Hello, Clive, I'm Sue.

-Hi, there.

-Pleased to meet you.

With four lots already in the old bag,

they're looking for something unique.

We're looking to buy a good auction lot, which means probably small,

good quality, a bit out of the ordinary, quirky.

-A bit like Susan.

-THEY LAUGH

That's quite quirky.

Outside garden tap with a dog on the top of it.

If you like dogs.

-I think we do like dogs.

-We do like dogs.

It's in keeping with everything else.

-This is brass, yes?

-It's definitely brass.

Look at the way it's patinated

through years and years of age.

-Lots of people turning that tap on and off.

-Exactly.

A 1930s tap may not be practical if you don't have an older pipe system,

but it still has a novelty value.

Anything to do with animals,

particularly dogs and cats,

people go bonkers.

-Anything to do with animals is me.

-It's not too "deer" either.

Oh, God. Have you been waiting for years to do that?

-I just realised it was sitting there.

-I like that.

It's marked at £12,

but top negotiator Susan Jameson is on the case.

What can you do us on this little dog?

I'm going to leave this to you.

-A cracking deal on the little dog?

-He's a lovely little dog.

I realise that is a fairly reasonable price,

but if you can do us any favours at all...

We've got £12 on that.

If we went up to 15,

because it should be 20 to start with, how does that sound?

Hmm...

-Not too good.

-Nice move, Susan.

I liked your "too deer" joke.

I did laugh.

I suppose that's cost me a couple of pound already, hasn't it?

-That's a couple of quid on.

-I know.

Shall we call it a straight ten then?

Any more? Any advance on that, at all?

-9.99?

-Eight?

She's bringing out that Jameson charm again...

8.50. I like to haggle - I like the last 50 pence.

(8.25.)

8.30.

Eh...28.

£8.28 you can have it for, my dear.

-8.28.

-8.28. Thank you very much.

Susan, negotiator extraordinaire has done it again,

with a £3.72 pence saving,

that's the final lot for Susan and David.

A 1930s tap at the bargain price of £8.28p.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Back in Bexhill, it's good news for the chaps,

as the bronze cranes were only on reserve,

Andy has changed his mind and they're up for grabs again.

What price are they?

-295, they are.

-295?

That's a biggie, isn't it?

It is a biggie. It's too biggie, I think.

-They're quite solid, aren't they?

-They're very solid.

They're just a good thing - nice pair.

-It's a lot of money.

-It IS a lot of money.

Two and a half if it helps...

It's a punt - I don't think you could buy them for 250...

if you went to a garden centre.

-OK. Well, let's go for it then.

-Do you think so?

-Yup.

-Good. I think they're a good one.

I think it's a real punt, but I think they might do well.

It's a massive gamble - if the cranes bomb they've had it

and James Bolam will have a lot of washing up to do.

-What about that folding stand?

-Yeah, can we have the little...?

-I'll throw it in for a tenner.

-You'll throw it in for a tenner?

I think I've got the fifth lot.

-Oh, right.

-Just you stay there.

-Right, I see.

We're on the edge of our seats(!)

It's got a bit age here.

It's silver plate. Oysters ready, the shallots cut...

I'm persuaded, are you?

Andy...tenner??

-I can't do a tenner.

-What can you do?

-I can do it for 20 quid.

-20 quid.

-That's about us...

We got any left? Yes, we have - just about.

-Shall we do it? Then we're all done.

-Then we're all done.

Andy, thank you very munch indeed.

Thank you, Andy, very much.

After a flurry of activity, the chaps have four items from Andy -

the African table,

the cranes, the shooting stick and the ice bucket,

all for £350.

Confident buying, chaps, just hope it pays off at auction.

Thank you very much indeed!

Meanwhile, Susan and David are belting towards Battle.

The town was formed after William the Conqueror built an abbey on

the site of his most famous victory at the Battle of Hastings in 1066.

But Susan and David are saving their fight to the finish

for the auction room.

With their shopping complete, and as Susan's a bird lover,

where better to visit than a Sussex shrine to the world's most

fascinating and mystical of birds, the dodo?

Let's go and see some dodo birds.

-Good idea.

-Sounds good.

I wish we could.

-I know.

-Wish they were still around.

-I know.

-The dodo may have been extinct for hundreds of years,

but one man is keeping their memory alive at

the appropriately-named Dodo House.

I think this is it.

I think it is.

THEY LAUGH

How many can you count? My gosh, they're everywhere.

Look at this.

Are you a big dodo fan?

I'm all birds.

But it's 84-year-old Ralph Whistler who's possibly the biggest

doter of all things dodo.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hello.

Welcome to The Dodo House.

Thank you. Two dodos coming in.

Ralph built a career looking after wildlife reserves in the States,

but for the last 30 years,

he's gathered the world's largest collection of dodo memorabilia,

including a four-foot model,

a dodo made of fabric and engine parts...

..and a sculpted wooden replica.

The extinct flightless bird evolved from a pigeon on Mauritius.

Over time, plentiful food

and no predators meant that they grew larger their wings smaller,

which wasn't a problem until sailors arrived.

So the dodo was first seen on Mauritius?

Well, maybe 1550 - we don't know exactly.

When did the dodo finally disappear?

The dodo disappeared about 1680, as far as we know. A long time ago.

So the dodo had no predators?

It had no enemies to start off with

and then man came along with his animals...

with all its dogs or cats or rats from the ships

could eat the baby dodos.

Although dodos were only native to Mauritius,

some were shipped back to Europe.

They did have a live one down in London on Piccadilly,

in the 1650s, and you could pay sixpence or a groat and feed it.

And that lasted a few years on Piccadilly.

They were obviously thought of as exotic creatures.

Yes, cos they look so extraordinary.

The fascination with birds has been in his family for years.

Ralph's ornithologist father Hugh Whistler had been given some

dodo bones as a teenager,

which had been found on Mauritius in the 1860s.

On his father's death in 1953, Ralph inherited the bones.

These are genuine dodo bones?

These are genuine dodo bones,

as dug up by this chap, who was a missionary.

-He knew what he was digging up?

-Yes.

He was determined to try and find out what had happened to the dodo,

but he knew it had existed.

He sent them back to the Natural History Museum in London,

to the head of the museum, who was a bone expert,

and he immediately confirmed that these were dodo bones.

A lot of people think, as they did then, that they were just a figment

of someone's imagination. Almost with the discovery of these bones,

-its memory is...

-Resurrected.

-..resurrected. Is that right?

-Absolutely.

-It's like Lazarus - it's just risen.

And now the world knows about the dodo?

So these bones led to all this amazing collection?

After a bit, I decided to take everything

I could find about the dodo.

Once the dodo's existence had been proven and the

Natural History Museum had reconstructed the bird from fossilised bones,

interpretations of what it may have looked like began popping up.

Most famously, the dodo appeared as a character

in Lewis Carroll's Alice In Wonderland in 1865,

and was illustrated by Sir John Tenniel.

People began to suddenly realise that it's not just in Lewis Carroll,

it actually was a real bird, not something really made up.

I think that also reminds people just how easy it is to lose a species,

so the dodo has done an awful to of good in that respect.

We must be so careful.

One of the quickest items ever to be made extinct.

Let's hope the example of the dodo and people knowing about it make us

treasure what we've got a little more.

In the last 500 years, human activity has forced over

800 species into extinction.

It's commendable people like Ralph

remind us just how precious creatures are,

and how careful we should be.

I'm just going to have one last dodo stroke.

While Susan and David have been brushing up on the dodo,

with some solid purchases in the bag,

Team James are taking the time to

sample more of Sussex's specialities.

-Oh, splendid.

-Cheers. Well done. Well shopped.

-And you.

-Very well shopped.

-Here's to us.

-Here's to us.

-Here's to our win.

-Mm.

As usual, the fellows are confident,

even though one could say they are resting on their laurels.

They'll be looking at dodos now, won't they?

That could be a symbol of what their purchases are going to be.

Dead as a dodo!

The boys may be all cocky now, but it's time for the big reveal.

Team James are up first.

-That's quite a few items, isn't it?

-Gosh, we've got carved heads there.

African, made out of one piece.

I quite like that.

Then we've got a standard kind of wine bucket -

silver plated, I'm hoping.

And then...

-Oh! Oh!

-Ah!

A shooting stick.

That's quite good, I've got to say.

And then we've got a pair of concrete birds.

No, bronze.

So that makes five lots for the Jameses.

Susan and David also have five lots.

Prepare to be amazed.

Is that made out of one piece of wood?

The stand itself is from China and then at some point,

someone has put a 1960s/70s Murano glass bowl on top of it.

-Hand-blown.

-Hand-blown.

That is a lovely item. What a tremendous piece of glass -

-it's huge.

-We like that. We do.

Almost as big as our piece of glass, isn't it?

-The tap is glorious.

-We love the tap.

-Chinese as well, is it?

-No, it's an English one.

-British.

-What's that? A clothes brush of some sort?

Nope, it's a Japanese cutlery set.

No! Japanese cutlery set.

And I must boast here, cos I said I think it feels like silver.

We weren't sure - it's been verified.

Very nice.

The cutlery set wasn't hallmarked,

but the in-house jeweller at the shop

they bought it from tested it with acid and confirmed it is silver.

This isn't only a battle of man versus wife,

it's also a battle of bugle versus trumpet!

Three, two, one...

BUGLES HONK

Absolutely dreadful.

He's now gone deaf.

Pardon?

Good luck, the two Jameses. Very best of luck.

We shall see you.

But what do they really think of each other's items?

Amazing that we've both got glass-topped...not tables but...

-Musical instruments.

-I think they've got nice stuff but ours is better.

-I agree with you.

-I like the little silver set and I like that dog,

but ace in the hole...lizard.

-Team work!

-I like their confidence but the other team aren't short of that either.

-I think we're on a winner here.

-I think we're on a winner.

No question about it. I don't think their trumpet's going to do anything.

The tap looks very mail-order, to me.

And their little table, what use is it?

In the end, who wants a tiny pair of silver chopsticks?

-Again, it's no use to anybody, is it?

-It's an ornament.

It may be silver - pfft - silver-schmilver.

Not even quietly confident - I'm confident.

I don't know about you but I can't wait to see who wins.

Both our celebrities and experts have take 123-mile tour of the

South Coast, starting in Brighton at their final stop in Dorking, Surrey.

It's James's turn in the driving seat again as they make

their way to the market town in the heart of the Surrey hills.

You're quite a poor loser actually.

What do you mean a poor loser?

There you are you see - you get a bit grumpy.

What?!

So where are they, David?

I don't know where they are. I think they like to make a late entrance.

What's that in the middle of the roundabout?

It's a great big silver cock. It's very big.

The ten-foot high sculpture celebrates the Dorking chicken,

a bird associated with the town since the 19th century,

when it became one of the biggest producers of high-quality poultry.

Not a lot of people know that.

-Are you confident?

-Definitely.

I've seen the things we've bought

and I've seen the things you've bought...

-Yeah, why are we confident then?!

-..and I'm definitely confident.

Meanwhile, James and Susan are still struggling

to find the auction house - as usual.

JAMES: Yeah, it's some sports centre or something, isn't it?

-Oh, it's a care centre.

-Care centre.

-No, not yet.

-They'll keep you in if you go there.

Well, I'm more confident.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I'm always confident with my things.

Finally, they've made it to Crow's Auction Gallery,

who've been auctioneering for over 100 years.

-ALL:

-Good morning.

Nice to see you.

-Partner. How are you, opposition?

-Very good.

-Good.

Shaking, shaking, I've got her worried now.

Welcome to the day of the lizard.

Oh-ho-ho!

I can just see the headlines now - "The Day Of The Lizard."

-Lizard breaks all record.

-Lizard triumphs.

Auctioneer of 30 years Tom Lofts has already taken a look

at the two teams' lots.

The piece I'm looking forward to selling most is probably

the Murano glass bowl and the stand. It's a nice lot.

The cranes in bronze, sadly, have been painted,

so I'm a little bit at a loss of how to value them.

The shooting stick...

I'll be amazed if we get a bidder for it.

Despite their confidence, it's not looking so good for Team James.

It could be washing up for Mr Bolam.

The chaps have five lots, spending a total of £370.

Susan and David parted with £248.28, also for five lots.

Are you all right there James?

Room for a small one.

Here's where it gets exciting.

First under the hammer is Susan and David's Japanese cutlery set.

The Japanese nation are primed and ready with a finger.

What time is it in Japan at the moment?

Hate to think. Early.

-Middle of the night.

-Shame.

Interest with me here, and my start is a low start at 25,

28, 30, 32, five, eight, 40.

£40 bid, £40 bid, 40, 40, 40...

How are you feeling?

50 bid, and five, at 60, at 65, 70 bid,

-£70 now...

-Come on.

-Yes!

-75.

Come on.

Against the room at £75. 80 bid.

£80 bid, £80 bid, £80 bid.

Out online. £80, it will be sold, one more, surely.

Online, you're right, £80, sold, all done,

the hammer's up and I trade, all done now at £80.

Ooh! £10.

On paper.

Goodness! A strong start for Susan.

Let's see if Team James's first lot, the military bugle, can better it.

12 bit, at 12, starting at 12.

Starting at 12, starting at 12, this is cheap.

15 bid. 18 bid. Come again, sir.

-A rare bidder in the room.

-One more. One more.

-Come on, you can do it.

-No more, no more!

20 I've got. At 20 I'm bid, 20 in the room. Selling at 20.

Disappointing for this, selling at 20, selling at 20, selling at 20.

Being sold, in the room, I sell then at £20.

-Oh, dear.

-That is a loss, isn't it?

It is a loss.

That's certainly a blow for the boys,

leaving them with a loss after auction costs.

But can have their African glass topped table top it?

Oh, here we are. This is my big choice.

15 bid. 18 bid. 20 I have.

At 20 bid, 20 bid, 25. 30. 35...

-What did you pay for it?

-70.

40, 40, 40, now 45 in the room...

It's a beautiful table.

It's going, it's going.

70 with me, 70 bid, £70.

80 with me.

£80, against you, sir.

Now he's going.

90! We're in profit.

The room is out at £90, £90, on the commission, all done,

selling at 90, sold at 90.

-This is a result, James.

-All done at £90.

-Enjoy it.

-Well done.

-Enjoy it!

Brilliant. £20 is a solid profit in the bank.

It's like being on an express train, isn't it?

Yeah, and you can't get off yet, James.

Next, it's time to see if Susan and David's glass item

can do any better, and it's the pick of auctioneer Tom.

We like this, with some size, with some character, quality.

They like it.

What can I say? My best bid secures at 15 only, 18 the bid,

20, and two, and five and eight.

£30 bid, £30 bid.

The Murano, like this, 32, and five, and eight, and 40 I have.

-At £40, selling at £40...

-No, don't sell at 40.

Disappointing at £40, the Murano,

the stand is worth that alone.

Come on, wake up at home.

You're out, at £40, I shan't dwell.

He's trying hard, isn't he? He's trying hard.

All done then, I trade, selling away at £40.

Ouch! A £40 loss will certainly hurt their chances.

David had been so sure of a profit.

No-one else, apart from me, has good taste.

Oh, yeah. Auctioneer Tom isn't sure if the two Jameses' next item,

the shooting stick, will even sell at all.

I don't know where they find these things,

a British-made, folding, three-legged shooting stick.

I'm speechless.

It looks bloody uncomfortable.

Hey! James Bolam sat on that, I'll have you know.

Surely that could add a few extra pounds.

Five I have, eight, and 10, and 12...

-There you go.

-15, 20 with me.

£20, surprised.

22, Phil? 22 in the room.

22 bid, the lines all out.

This does want buying. At £22, 25 bid.

I do not believe this. At £25.

25, Phil, don't stop.

I'm going to put you in. 28, you're in. £28.

Madame? £28, you're out.

£30 bid.

-Whoa! Three times!

-There we are, you see?

I told you. I told you. They wouldn't believe it.

-All done at £30, thank you, Madame.

-Well done.

A fantastic buy for Team James as it's tripled its price.

You know, James, this could be a new career for you, you realise that.

Well, I need something!

Now it is Susan's favourite lot,

the temple togs and the carved lizard.

They need to make money to stand a chance of winning.

15, 18, 20 bid, 22. At £22, 25, 28.

£28, £28, 30 bid, 32.

At 32. 35. 35 bid, £35.

Come on. £35, £35.

38. £38.

40 bid, 40 bid, 40. Come on. Come on, you can do it, sir. At £40.

-Go on.

-Three pieces for the money!

At £40, sold at £40, in the room, all done at £40.

-Marvellous.

-Very good.

-Well done.

An amazing profit, doubling their money,

and they're back in the game.

-The day of the Lizard.

-The day of the Lizard.

Swung it for you.

Next, it's the two Jameses' silver-plated ice bucket.

A silver-plated, twin-handled ice bucket, or whatever.

-Rather nice, circa 1900, we're pretty happy with this.

-Whatever!

Start me at 15, 18, 20, two, five,

eight, at £28 only, £28...

Come on, come on.

30 bid, 32, at 35 bid, £35, £35.

40 can I say, sir? 40 in the room.

Selling at 40, selling at 40, selling at 40 in the room.

-Disappointing, selling at 40, selling at 40.

-Disappointing!

Maybe to you, it's amazing for us!

All done at £40.

-Well done, well done.

-Well done!

Very well done. They've doubled their money, too.

It's looking quite close to call, this one.

Now it's over to Susan and David's 1930s dog tap.

I'm sure I've seen it in a National Trust gift section somewhere.

-Take no notice of him, Susan.

-No.

A lot of character, this, I rather like this little piece.

Five, and eight, only at £8, £8 bid, £8, £8. Ten bid, ten.

12 bid, 15 bid, 18 only, £18.

Selling at 18, selling at 18, 20 is bid online.

At 20 bid, 20 bid, out of the blue, come again, sir.

This has got to be right, it's got to be right.

At 22, at 22, at 22.

Online one, at £25 bid, at £25.

At 25 online one, I'm selling, all done at £25.

-Very good.

-Aw, little dog!

And a great profit!

We're now down to both teams' final lots -

the silver-plated pocket trumpet and the garden crane.

First it's Team James's cranes.

They were a huge risk so they need to do well.

We have telephone interest I believe, yes.

And I start here with me at 30.

30?!

£40, £40, £40...

They are bronze!

50 bid, 50 bid, 50.

50 bid, at 50, 60 bid. 70 did.

£80, £80, £80. At 90 bid.

90 on the telephone.

95, 100 can I say?

Course you can.

Thank you. Yes, 100 on the telephone.

At £100, I shan't dwell, £100, telephone bid.

The lines all out, disappointing for these bronzes, all done,

Make no mistake, selling against your online...

100...

All done to the telephone at £100.

Catastrophe!

It turns out the risky cranes have left their chances of winning

as dead as a dodo. Wasn't it, chaps?

Oh, dear.

-Tissues, tissues, hand them over.

-I need a tissue.

Blimey.

Crikey, that's a whopping £150 loss.

I think it was the concrete what done it.

Even if Susan and David made a tiny profit with their last lot

they would triumph.

It's their turn-of-the-century pocket trumpet.

So our star musical instrument is next.

Very nice, interest with me, with the telephone,

interest for me and my starter is at 80.

And 90, 110.

120. 130, 140, 150. 150.

160, 170. 180.

-190. 200...

-Well, we did like it.

-We did like, a lot, didn't we?

Well done.

-I am absolutely astonished.

-So am I.

At 220 bid, selling at 220.

I'm going to cry!

Selling at 220, line two, at £220.

Telephone, coming or not?

Ask them kindly. Ask them kindly.

Come on! Keep on going.

You're out. 220, line two, I'm going to sell,

all done, line two has it, all done at £220.

-Fantastic!

-That is amazing. Well done.

Susan's in shock.

An amazing achievement -

a £150 profit for them, tripling their money again.

That's wonderful. That's absolutely wonderful.

You'll have us all crying in a minute!

-TEARFULLY:

-Don't, you'll get me going!

Both our teams started today's journey with £400.

The two Jameses took a massive gamble on their cranes

and it didn't pay off.

After auction costs they lost £140.40,

leaving them with a finishing total of £259.60.

Susan and David managed to bank themselves a profit

of £83.82 after auction costs,

giving them a clear win with £483.82.

All profits go to Children In Need.

It was close, I'll give them that, it really was close, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

-It was close, up until the cranes.

I'm sorry the cranes bombed.

-I know.

-That's very kind of you.

-The cranes done us.

-The cranes done you in.

Anyway, thank you. Well done, the winners, well done.

-It's been great, great fun.

-Well done.

-Thank you, James. Take care.

-Goodbye.

Come on, James, those dishes won't wash themselves.

I think David and I did pretty well.

It's quite cool, actually, I quite like the bartering.

It's quite jolly.

Oh! There's a huge hole there.

Oh!

Poor old car.

Perhaps we ought to get them a taxi, eh?