Ainsley Harriott and Anne Diamond Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

The nation's favourite celebrities...

-We are special then, are we?

-Oh, that's excellent.

..paired up with an expert...

We are a very good team, you and me.

..and a classic car.

Their mission? To scour Britain for antiques.

-I have no idea what it is.

-Oh, I love it.

The aim? To make the biggest profit at auction.

Yes!

But it's no easy ride.

There's no accounting for taste.

Who will find a hidden gem?

Who will take the biggest risks?

Will anybody follow expert advice?

-Do you like them?

-No.

There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.

-Are you happy?

-Yes.

-Promise.

-Ecstatic(!)

Time to put your pedal to the metal.

This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

Today's celebrities are two giants of daytime telly,

breakfast presenting doyen Anne Diamond...

Good morning, it's Tuesday.

..joins top TV chef Ainsley Harriott.

Good morning!

Famous for his delicious recipes and flamboyant style,

Ainsley is now one of our leading chefs.

But his first big break was a slot on Good Morning With Anne And Nick.

I'll never forget the first day I came on the show. I was so nervous.

I heated all my pans so everything would cook quickly

because we were against the clock and you came over,

and went to shift the pan. I think you burnt your hand.

Ow!

I thought I was going to get the sack.

"They are never going to have me back."

Broadcaster and campaigner, Anne, started out in the '80s

on the ground-breaking TV-AM but it wasn't until she got up

a bit later and met Ainsley, that she really cracked TV cooking.

-I remember you showing me how to poach an egg.

-Yeah.

-Live on air.

And you've never forgotten that.

No, and I've never still been able to do it!

Ainsley went on to present legendary shows

like Can't Cook Won't Cook and Ready Steady Cook.

But now, after all these years, he's back with Anne.

Ready Steady must have been a lovely programme to be on.

-Oh, yeah.

-Why wasn't I ever invited onto that?

-I don't know!

I should have rung you up. Maybe I was busy.

Today's experts, dealer David Harper,

an auctioneer Christina Trevanion,

are certainly feeling bowled over about working with these two.

-He was quite famous for his shirts, wasn't he?

-Very much so.

-You'll get on like a house on fire.

-Yeah, I know.

I love his dress sense. We've got the same hairstyle and everything!

Do you know what, me and Ainsley Harriott will look like twins!

With £400 each, celebrities

and experts are making their way through the Thames Valley

in a 1990s Alfa Romeo Spider and a 1980s Mercedes convertible.

The last time we saw each other, this car was modern!

Time to meet and decide who's going shopping with whom.

We made it!

Open the door, sir.

Hang on. Sorry, Ainsley. Lovely to meet you.

This is Christina. Are we going to win?

Are we together?

I think we are together. I think it's boy-girl, boy-girl.

-I think it is. Absolutely.

-I think so, I think so.

OK, so who's going to go in which car?

Would you prefer the auto?

Quick, quick, quick, let's go!

-Make a decision because they are off.

-You drive first.

All right, all right, it's not against the clock, you know?

-Auf wiedersehen, pet.

-Really!

Our trip starts in Maidenhead beside the Thames.

We then shop into London before making our way out east, winding

up at an auction even further downstream in Dartford, Kent.

But first, a little celebrity expert bonding.

-Are you a lover of antiques?

-My first answer is no. But hang on.

I've got absolutely no idea why

but I've always been interested in little interesting side tables.

Maidenhead will be ready, after all,

it's seen a few celebrities over the years.

Britain's own blonde bombshell Diana Dors used to live here

and we are just a few minutes from the Thameside studio

where the Hammer horrors were made.

-Hello, you must be Marie.

-Hello, Anne. Nice to meet you.

-Hello, David.

-Lovely to see you.

-What a fantastic place.

-You've got so much going on here.

-We certainly do.

-So, we are going to be dealing with you, then?

-Yes, you will be.

Are you going to be nice and friendly and gorgeous?

-Of course, as always.

-Wonderful.

That's the spirit! Although, she has got 40 dealers to keep happy, too.

Anne has declared a passion for furniture

but there's a good bit of retro here as well.

Hardly seems like yesterday, does it?

I think I've got this hat.

I think I wore this to Ascot once. Ascot coming up.

Are you into vintage clothing?

Not particularly, although I have the finest collection of '80s stuff.

Have you got those huge shoulder pads?

I went to an exhibition at the V&A and their stuff from the '80s was

nothing like my stuff from the '80s because I had the money to spend on

designer stuff in the '80s, sequins and huge dynasty padded shoulders.

I felt like writing to the V&A and saying if you want to borrow

any of my stuff and put it in the cabinet instead, you are most

welcome because I thought I had a much better collection.

Would they actually get it in the cabinet though? They'd be too wide.

-And speaking of padding...

-Look at that little chair.

I'm into upholstery and I could put new upholstery on it

that would make it look such a pretty piece.

-Do you do your own upholstery?

-Yeah, I do.

I've had the same sofa for 27 years because I will not let it die.

She really does love furniture.

-It's a little table and I like little tables.

-It is a little table.

I like little tables with little compartments.

That would look beautiful in the corner of a room.

I would be terrified that that's reproduction

-and I'm falling for a reproduction.

-I promise you it's not.

This is marquetry inlay, so if you take your nail

and run across the top of it, you can feel...

-You can feel the way it is done.

-Exactly.

-Now, if it was a repro, that would certainly be transfer print.

-Yes.

I think this is lovely because it has a distinct name

and a great history. It's the Davenport desk.

This was made in about 1910

but the original Davenport was made for a Captain Davenport

by Gillows of Lancaster in the late 18th, early 19th century,

and Captain Davenport ordered himself a desk

very small and neat, that could travel with him on campaign.

Oh, I like that.

And 100 years later, this was made in England out of walnut with

marquetry, and it's ever so sweet.

It would look nice in my cottage.

-Now, we're not buying for you, we're buying for profit.

-I know!

Yeah, don't get carried away.

The ticket price is £225 -

hefty but already reduced from £385.

And there's a good reason why.

15 years ago, I wouldn't have haggled.

I would have bought it instantly and ran out the door.

Why is it different now?

Prices have just collapsed over the last ten or 15 years,

with furniture. We'd have to get it at 100 quid.

We really would.

Put it on the short list then.

So, little bits of furniture really get you, don't they?

I didn't realise they did but actually, yes, they do.

I mean even that little table is quite interesting, isn't it?

It's funny because that's Edwardian as well. Do you know what it is?

-It's a coal scuttle.

-Yes.

-Wow!

-Isn't that brilliant?

Do you know what I would do now is I'd clean that bit out,

completely clean it out and keep magazines and books in there.

Absolutely perfect.

-Anne's enjoying herself here.

-You could repair that, couldn't you?

Yeah, you could.

Get a bit of brown beeswax and it will come up an absolute delight.

-I like it.

-Isn't that gorgeous?

-If we can find out how much it is...

-We'll get a price on that. There's Marie.

-The coal scuttle.

-Now, you've got that label for how much?

-80, I think. Yes, 80.

So, I would have to get in touch with the dealer.

-Actually, let's backtrack.

-OK.

The Davenport. To make a profit, I'd say 100, if Anne was up for it.

-That, I think, would probably be OK.

-Shall we have the Davenport?

-Yeah.

-I think that's a good deal.

-We'll have that.

-Excellent, thank you.

Oh, that's really lovely because I loved that.

Well, Anne has got those two off to a brave start,

with the coal scuttle still under consideration.

But what about our other couple?

Go, Ainsley! Go, go, go!

Oh, Lordy, if he shops like that, we're in for quite a ride.

So what's the plan?

Let's buy things that we like.

Let's buy things that are a bit quirky. Let's buy fun things.

Yes, OK. And something that you feel passionate about, too,

-really, isn't it?

-Yeah.

I think if you believe in it then we are halfway there.

-OK, that's a very good tip.

-Believe in it.

I believe we are now about to head into Buckinghamshire

and the village of Burnham.

If it all seems a bit familiar, that might be

because of the numerous Carry On movies that were shot around here.

Burnham is awfully close to Pinewood Studios, you see?

Hey, we're here. Look at this!

Ooh! Come on!

Any movie memorabilia here, I wonder? Kitchenalia?

Will Ainsley do an Anne?

-Let's have a look over there.

-OK.

So, have a good luck. See if there's anything you like the look of.

Anything, anything, anything and give me a shout.

Ainsley, "No unaccompanied children." Come on, come on. This way, this way.

Now, let's not take our expert status too seriously, Christina.

My mother had her tea service in a glass cabinet.

-Were you ever allowed to touch it?

-No.

-On pain of death?

It was next to the Encyclopaedia Britannicas.

You weren't allowed to touch it.

Ainsley is not too bothered about furniture

but what will he put his hat on?

-Marylou, would you marry me?

-I think I would, sir.

Carry on, cowboy!

Let's take a look in "them thar" cabinets.

-That's quite nice.

-That is fun, isn't it? What's that?

"Oriental brass and copper cicada cricket snuffbox."

That is interesting, isn't it?

Might have a little look at that.

-I quite like the look of that.

-I think that's really pretty.

What would they have used that for, then?

-It's technically termed as a "thing to put things in."

-Yeah? OK.

She's good.

Hello!

-Could we possibly have a look in a cabinet?

-Yes.

Anne, this is Ainsley, who I've brought with me today.

-Hello, Anne, how are you?

-I'm fine, thank you.

Pleased to meet you too.

-We really like that silver box.

-No, we don't!

Oh, sorry. We don't like that silver box.

And I'm particularly fond of this piece too.

It's a snuff box, oriental snuff box.

So you'd put your snuff in there, obviously, then take out the wings

-and you'd take your snuff.

-And fold it up.

Very sweet. I like that.

Let's have a little look at that. What do you think of that?

I like this. There's a little indentation there.

-You see it?

-Like a little crease across the top.

-Oh, look at that, look.

-That is nice.

Can you see a hallmark on there?

Can you see a silver hallmark?

-There we are.

-There we go.

-I am clever, aren't I?

This is the Birmingham hallmark, which is the anchor,

and then a D, which is 1903.

-Typically Edwardian.

-OK.

It's got this lovely, lightly-hammered finish,

so it's quite Arts and Crafts,

which means it was handmade, hand-finished as well.

What I really like about it is it's got this silver gilt interior,

which is a sign of quality.

Ah!

I think the silver's winning.

Box not quite up to snuff?

Snuff box collectors really want something that is really antique,

really unique and has got some history to it,

-so this is...

-A no-no.

Sorry about that, Anne.

So how much have you got on the silver box, Anne?

I've got 35 on that.

£35. Is there any flexibility on that price at all?

I love you, Anne!

30, how about 30?

How about 25?

Seeing as you're holding my hand so nicely...

22.

-25.

-All right, then.

I think that's a deal, don't you? Thank you very much.

Sealed with a loving kiss?

Another one? Oh, how lovely!

# Shall we dance... #

That Ainsley's certainly proving a smooth operator,

plus for a lot less than Anne and David,

they've acquired a very sellable first lot.

This is great for storing things in.

That is the key to buying nice silver successfully these days -

it's still got to be usable.

These lovely entree dishes you can get in solid silver

are incredibly expensive,

but when was the last time you used your silver entree dish?

How dare you talk about my entree dish(!)

It was all going so well, too...

Any news from Maidenhead, I wonder?

Is that just an opening table, then?

It's a tea table.

Anne's got yet more furniture. Look out...

OK, so, there you go, there's your occasional table.

Lovely, lovely, shape.

That's in solid mahogany,

so the table legs should have a wooden hinge, look at that.

-Ooh, yes!

-That's hand-crafted.

How do they come out?

Oh, the whole leg comes out!

-Oh, this is brilliant.

-Flip that over.

Oh, I love it. I would like to own that.

Now, Anne, it's all about making a profit, love,

not home furnishing.

I need to work out whether it is a Georgian restored

or an Edwardian...

..copy.

An indicator for Georgian furniture are the blocks.

-You see the corner blocks?

-Yes.

-In the Georgian period, you've got these round...

-A bit of beauty.

Yes, and they're just hand-cut.

This is made in the Georgian period, but at some point,

it's been completely reworked and restored.

-But it would need to be...

-Cheaper.

-Yeah.

We can try. It'd need to be 100 quid.

If Mhairi wants to sell it to us for 100 quid, we'd have it.

What price is on it.

-238.

-That's less than half.

I know, but we are the mercenary band.

Ah...

I realise.

-I'll just go and have a quick word...

-Have a word.

-..and come back to you.

-OK.

Everybody is petrified of furniture

because they keep getting told it's worth nothing.

You know what? It's for nothing to buy.

Could be "for nothing" to sell too, though, David.

Now, how have negotiations progressed?

I've just had a word with the dealer

and they're suggesting that if you pay 170 for the table,

the coal scuttle will be thrown in for nothing.

-Ah, the coal scuttle's back.

-Really, we want to pay 130.

The very lowest would be 150.

I say we go for it, then.

-Can we shake our hands, then?

-OK.

So £120 for the table and £30 for the scuttle -

Anne's really following her heart.

-We're breaking all rules here.

-Yeah!

-Marvellous!

-I hope that augurs well.

Meanwhile, Ainsley and Christina make for the capital.

This is a complete treat for me,

because I used to come home from school, turn on the telly,

-and Ready Steady Cook was on.

-I know, it's...

You are just like an icon of my generation.

I thought I was!

They're motoring further down the River Thames towards Lambeth

to learn all about the chef who revolutionised British Army food.

-Hello!

-Hello!

-Natasha.

-Hi, Natasha, Christina.

Hi, Natasha. Ainsley, how are you?

-Do come through.

-Lovely, looking forward to this.

The Florence Nightingale Museum is of course dedicated

to the famous "Lady with the Lamp,"

but it also celebrates those other heroes

who travelled to the Crimea in the mid-1850s.

One of those was Alexis Soyer,

the Victorian celebrity chef.

Perhaps an example of quite how famous Alexis Soyer was

is the fact that he actually sold his own brand

of cooking sauces.

Hello!

-Thank you!

-Just copying him, aren't you?

-I know, I know!

-All these years later.

-It's actually got his face on it.

Oh, wow, look at that!

That is amazing. Really commercially-minded, isn't it?

What do we have here, Natasha?

This is baking powder.

Maybe you need to adopt that hat.

And that lovely, very French sort of 'tache.

How did he become a celebrity chef? What made him so special?

Well, he was born in a small town in France,

but finding out that in England, French cooks are madly fashionable,

he went across to England

and due to his charm and flamboyant nature, people just adored him.

In 1837, Soyer became the chef de cuisine

at London's new Reform Club and set about designing the kitchens,

along with architect Charles Barry.

I actually used to work at the Reform Club in the '80s.

-No, you didn't! Did you?

-Absolutely!

There's a famous recipe he had, which is the lamb cutlet Reform,

which was flour and breadcrumb,

pan-fried the cutlet to a golden brown,

and I think, I think...

This is taking me back a long, long way here.

I think it was served with beetroot, gherkin and ham.

Sounds tasty.

Amongst Soyer's many Reform Club innovations

was the use of gas in cooking

and refrigerators cooled by running water.

Do you recognise these kitchens?

Well, the layout's probably the same.

I wouldn't have thought it had changed very much at all.

Modern equipment, and you certainly wouldn't have that -

health and safety would close you down instantly...

-They'd love that!

-..if you had a couple of stags

hanging up in your kitchen.

But as well as catering to the rich,

Soyer wrote cookbooks for those of more modest means.

I think one of the nice things about Alexis Soyer

is that he never forgot his poor background.

During the Irish potato famine in 1847,

the French chef invented the soup kitchen

and he was equally inventive a few years later

when he heard of the suffering

of British soldiers during the Crimean War.

The soldiers weren't dying in battle.

They weren't even dying of illness and disease.

They were actually dying because they were underfed in many cases.

The soldiers were all given their own rations of meat

and, crucially, these rations weren't boned or sorted out at all,

so you might find your ration for the day

was nearly all bones and gristle.

The method of cooking this was to bind meat very, very tightly

to a wooden paddle and just plonk it in water and boil it.

If you boiled it for long enough, you might have a chance,

but I should imagine they'd be so hungry

that they'd put it in there and take it out so quickly.

Soyer's solution was a simple metal cylinder

that can stand on a table top

and is so light that a horse could carry two.

The Soyer Stove and adaptations of it

became a British military standard.

They used them for years and years.

They were in use until well after the Second World War.

-Really?

-But what a great, simple design, as you say.

The simplicity of it and versatility of it - brilliant.

What an amazing story.

First celebrity chef - not you.

-I know.

-Sorry about that.

-Shucks!

Meanwhile, out in the suburbs,

Anne's about to do a bit more shopping.

Any other passions to declare?

The only other thing I'm interested in is I'm very into model railways.

-Very strong market.

-I have my own.

-You do not!

-I do.

If we were to see a proper, old, 1950s Hornby GWR loco,

I'd think, "Wow!"

They're steaming towards Kingston upon Thames,

famous for its collapsing telephone boxes and the last resting place

of Nipper, the musical dog,

Kingston's only been part of Greater London

for less than 50 years.

THEY GREET EACH OTHER

Just to let you know, we haven't got very long before we close.

Right, OK. How long have we got?

Um, about half an hour.

Half an hour, can we do it in half an hour?

-Oh, yes, we're good at this!

-We are good at this!

OK, you two, let's get ready to rummage!

-Right...

-I'm going to go down here.

-I'll go down here and then we'll meet in the middle.

-I'll call.

Bring some treasure.

Interesting.

I wonder what Anne will come up with solo?

She certainly seems to be getting to grips with it.

You know, I think she does have an eye. There really is something...

Oh, hello! We're talking about your eye, saying you've got lovely eyes.

I found a few more little tables.

Is it going to be all furniture for those two, then?

It was... It was...

It was an ordinary mahogany round-y thing.

"Mahogany round-y thing." Well, that's helpful.

Better still - get three, eh?

I tell you what I do like - that shape in the leg, there.

-It's nice, isn't it?

-Isn't that lovely?

-Yeah.

They're good-looking tables, but they're not mega-quality.

-No.

-Any more tables?

-Yes, one more I want to show you.

-All right.

-It's round here.

-I love tables.

Nicely avoided, David.

Come on, you two, let's steer clear of the furniture, shall we?

Now what about a bit of 1980s funk?

At least they're not brown.

Does that remind you of your days on breakfast television?

I don't think I ever sat in anything like that.

Well, you should have done.

-It's the colour I like.

-Really?

-£75 for the pair.

-For the pair?

-Yeah.

-That's not bad.

Go on, let's have a look at you, see what you look like.

Good morning, Britain.

I never sat in one of these, but I tell you what, it's comfortable.

-There you go.

-I tell you what, with the colour and the style...

Interview me.

Yes, I will. Tell me about your latest book.

Oh, well, how long have you got?

Wrap it up, Anne, quick!

-Now, Lesley...

-Hi, yep?

..you look like a girl who's going to love these chairs.

75 the pair, that's really good.

It's far too expensive, isn't it, Anne?

Yeah, it is too expensive.

65.

Lesley, can they be 45?

-How much?

-45?

LESLEY GASPS

45? Erm...

I think that's a bit of a drop.

65 is really good for two fabulous pieces.

We have to try and make a profit, don't we?

Come on, Anne, what do you think?

What about 55?

Oh, now...

-Have I done something wicked?

-Well, no,

but in this business,

if you say, "What about 55?"

and they say yes, that's it.

-It's a done deal.

-You're joking!

It's a done deal. You can't then say,

"Hmm, what about 50, then?" You can't go down.

-You've now set the benchmark.

-That's your offer?

That's it.

I've sunk us in it, then?

I don't think I can say yes without consultation.

-I will ask.

-Go on, then.

OK, I won't be a minute.

Well, I hope it's a yes,

because we're getting perilously near closing time.

I've got a pair of trousers in exactly that colour.

If I sat in them, I'd just look like a torso.

-Good!

-It's a nice look.

I'm sure we'd love to hear more, but Lesley's back.

Thankfully.

Apparently, 55 is possible.

That's the bottom.

I think YOU'VE done a deal.

-I think I have done the deal.

-An amazing deal.

I think that's a really cool deal.

That's really brilliant, thank you very much.

Well done, Anne.

Those two have bought an awful lot of furniture today.

Anyway...

-So you've got four?

-Got four.

I've only got one, so I've got to really...

You've got to do some shopping.

I thought you might go for

some sort of ancient, old Victorian kitchen utensil.

That's what I'm looking for.

You know, a rusty lemon squeezer.

-Old crock pots.

-Yeah.

Night-night.

Good morning, Anne and Ainsley.

The weather's looking pretty good too, in Wimbledon Village, anyway.

I had a brilliant time yesterday.

I discovered I quite like shopping.

The first shop I walked into, there was this immediate fear

that I'm going to immediately go for something

that's a bit naff and reproduction,

and, actually, I didn't.

No, she really took charge.

Took quite a few risks too,

acquiring a coal scuttle, a desk,

some retro stools and a Georgian table for £305...

-Wow.

-Oh, I love it. I would like to own that.

..leaving them with less than £100.

While Ainsley and Christina took absolutely no risks whatsoever,

parting with a mere £25 for a silver pot...

# Shall we dance... #

..meaning they have almost all of their £400 left to spend today,

a blank canvas, you might say.

What are you going to paint, Christina?

I just love the shape of this tree. It's just magic, isn't it?

Well, I'm going to create

an impression

of a George II sideboard.

-Wouldn't that be a bit brown?

-No, not in my paintings, baby.

Hey, slap it on quick, David,

because your celebrities have arrived.

-Hey, how are you doing?

-Good morning!

Morning, morning.

Later, they'll be heading into Kent for an auction close to Dartford,

but our next stop is just around the corner in Battersea...

..where our chef is feeling the heat.

I'm a little bit nervous.

Speaking to Anne, she said, "Oh, yes, we bought four things."

I'm thinking, "Hold on a minute, we've only got one."

Ainsley, today is my birthday.

-We have no issues whatsoever.

-All right, then.

I wouldn't mind a bit of really old, cool, kitchen equipment,

-something really unusual.

-OK.

I want to go wacky today.

-Let's go nuts.

-OK.

-OK, deal?

Absolutely, let's go nuts.

Well, the others did yesterday.

At least our celebrity should feel right at home, though,

because Ainsley's lived in this corner of "Saff" London.

Can I say hello?

-Hello!

-I could fit in the back there!

Yeah, why don't you?

Can't really beat the Spiders, can you?

No, she's a beauty.

-And you look lovely.

-Aww, thank you.

As do you.

Friendly round here, aren't they?

Gah, it looks a bit of a TARDIS, Ains.

Oh, wow. Oh!

Ah, so that's obviously a shoe last,

so you put that in your shoes, either to make them or stretch them.

Is there anything on the top of it?

Let's have a little look. What's that? Size ten.

-Size

-ten. What size feet are you?

-13.

-Really?

Plenty of vintage in here.

Quite a bit of kitchenalia too,

but Ainsley's come over all nostalgic.

This used to be a sawmill.

So where did they used to do the sawmilling?

All the big planks of wood would be standing up here

and they used to cut it,

bits of sawdust would fly off, and that's what I wanted.

I'd come down, collect the sawdust,

and that would go on the bottom of the rabbit's cage.

So what was the rabbit called?

I had Tokie Joy, Jumper Tokie Joy, I had Petrona,

which was my mother's name.

-IN WEST INDIAN ACCENT:

-"How could you name the rabbit after me?"

THEY LAUGH

Quite.

Back to the shopping.

Gosh, this looks like, oh, a patent-type teapot. Wow!

So look at that wonderful bulge, if you like, at the bottom.

What does that indicate, that bulge?

That would have been the strainer.

Usually, the strainer is on the side of the teapot,

so this probably some sort of patent.

Yeah, look, "Patent self-pouring."

It's a Doulton one, so great name to have.

I think it's very, very quirky.

-I like it.

-Good start.

About time Ainsley chose something, though, isn't it?

Oh, look!

That's rather lovely, isn't it? You know what,

from here it looks like it's been hand-stitched as well,

so, so often you see these and they've just been machine-made

and they're a bit soulless.

I love that, I'd take that, I think that's beautiful.

-Shall we try for that?

-Yeah, is it open?

BOTH: Oh!

-Are we allowed to go in?

-I don't know.

-Oh, look that's beautiful.

I would say this is probably 1950s,

maybe slightly earlier, 1940s, 1950s, and somebody has literally sat

and embroidered this.

I love that. How much has it got on it?

£55. OK, that's not too out of the way.

-What do you think?

-I just want to see if we can get anything.

Hello? Excuse me.

-Is this your section?

-Yes.

-I'm Christina, hi. What's your name?

-Jenny.

Come over here, Jenny.

-That's OK. We really like this.

-No, we don't!

Sorry, I think this is the worst thing I've ever seen.

And I'm looking for a shoe polisher

and I just thought this would be really great.

More importantly, Jenny, it's 55,

but got we've a bit of a budget issue here.

-Right.

-Really, at auction, we'd be looking, if at all possible,

to purchase it in the region of maybe £20 to £30 to stand us a chance

of making a profit and hopefully appealing to textiles collectors.

I'm happy to give it to you for 30, cos I'd love you to do well

-and make a profit.

-Brilliant!

Thank you so much.

Thank you, really appreciate that, thank you.

Oh, you've just bought yourself a handbag.

I'm sorry, it's not very manly, is it?

It suits you. "Ooh, darling!"

Lady Bracknell, isn't it? "A handbag?!"

Second buy "in the bag".

they're not exactly big spenders, those two, are they?

Jenny's calling the dealer about the teapot,

but Ainsley's already got his eye on something else.

What on Earth are you doing up there?

I tell you what, you'd have thought that I'd come up for this lamp,

but I'm actually interested in the hanging lady.

-Let's have a look.

-Look!

-Oh, my goodness me!

-She's fab, isn't she?

-Oh, yeah.

-Look at that.

Superb, well done.

Isn't she wonderful?

Wonderful. OK, so what is she made of?

She looks like she's some sort of plaster,

so plaster plaque, obviously to go on the wall.

-She's just wonderful - sort of wild abandon, isn't she?

-Yes!

Obviously, stark naked, which is fantastic.

She's really quite cool, I like that.

Looks to me like Art Deco would be quite controversial for that,

so I'm thinking probably later than the 1930s.

But what's the price, I wonder.

32.

32? Well, that doesn't seem bad.

-I think she's wonderful. She's a real talking point, isn't she?

-I think so.

I love her smiley face, look at her face.

She's smiling!

I think there'll be a few blushes in the auction room.

I think there might be.

Hey, let's make 'em blush.

He's got to close the deal. Come on, boy.

Hello, Denise, it's Ainsley Harriott. How are you?

Lovely. We walked into the shop and we saw the lovely hanging lady there

and I thought she was just delightful

and my budget's a bit tight, though.

If I said to you £25, how would you feel about that?

Go ahead? OK, thank you very much indeed.

Really, really appreciate that.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, bye-bye.

Yay! Well done, Ains. Fantastic.

You've got to love her.

Go for a spin, girl, go for a spin.

-Whoo!

-There you go.

Oh, do be careful!

She look a bit delicate to me.

-You're not allowed to take her home.

-I know, I'd love it.

I'll take your money, though.

Oh, yeah, yeah!

-It's all yours.

-Well, it's not mine, unfortunately.

Still got over £300 left.

Not so their free-spending opponents,

heading for the City of Westminster and a tea break.

Welcome to Britain's oldest tearoom,

founded in 1706 by the man who changed

the drinking habits of a nation.

-Are you Philippa?

-I'm Philippa, pleased to meet you.

-Hello, Anne.

-And you've got a royal warrant.

That was granted by Queen Victoria in 1837,

the first year of her reign.

-So she liked a nice cup of tea.

-She did like a nice cup of tea.

She did like a nice cup of tea and, of course, we've been very fortunate

to hold the royal warrant for every single successive monarch since.

Is this the real thing?

This is the real thing, yeah. The real deal.

But back at the start of the 18th century,

when the company was founded by Thomas Twining,

tea was the new beverage in a market dominated by coffee.

These coffee houses were nothing like the ones

that we have in the high street today.

A bit raucous, weren't they?

They were quite raucous, definitely the preserve of men only.

No self-respecting woman would be seen dead in a coffee shop,

these dens of almost iniquity.

When Twining took over Tom's Coffee House,

he added tea to the menu,

having discovered it whilst working for the East India Company.

He soon found the drink was a hit

with both the gentlemen and the ladies.

So Thomas was quite astute.

He saw an opportunity,

because the ladies were actually sending their menservants in

to purchase tea

and they were waiting outside in their sedan chairs,

which is why he purchased properties next door

and he actually turned that into a retail environment,

so that way, the ladies could, with propriety,

come in and buy their own tea.

-Knew his marketing skills.

-He did.

Within a few years,

the drink from China had become a staple of British drinking habits.

It was first introduced by the Portuguese queen of Charles II

and this brick is how Chinese tea would have looked back then.

China had the monopoly on the tea trade

-and had been drinking it for millennia.

-Thousands of years.

Do they compress it purely for transportation purposes?

To get as much in the hold as possible?

-Yes, that would have been one of the main reasons.

-Can we touch that?

You could touch it, yes.

You can see a few of the individual tea leaves that are compressed in.

-Is it heavy?

-It is quite heavy.

Crumbs, it is. It is a brick!

Philippa's an accomplished tea blender

who gets to taste an awful lot of tea,

and she's prepared a few choice brews for Anne and David to sample.

First two that we have here are teas which you could have found

back in the early days of the shop.

So this is tea how it would have tasted all those years ago?

-Yeah, it hasn't changed, really.

-What's the etiquette, what do you do?

-When we're tasting...

-Drink it!

I don't normally drink tea with a spoon!

Oh, you're very common, aren't you?

So when we're tasting, we will take a measure of tea and basically...

-..slurp it or Hoover it up.

-Do you have to make a noise?

-You don't have to.

-She said Hoover it up!

-LOUD SLURPING

-Oh, my...!

That was a bit of a shock!

-It really helps to aerate the tea.

-Aren't you supposed to spit it out?

-Ideally, yes.

-But please don't.

-Please don't, no.

I like that. I'll have another bit.

This is a gunpowder green tea. It's quite strong.

SHE SLURPS LOUDLY

If you don't mind me saying, Philippa,

I think I'd be quite embarrassed to take you out for a cup of tea

-to a nice little tearoom somewhere.

-I know, I know.

-We wouldn't go down very well.

-It's actually quite difficult to do.

-Years of training goes into it?

-Years of training.

-600 cups of tea a day, so...

-600?!

Perfect opportunity for practising the slurping.

And this is a black tea. Both from China, because at this time,

all tea came from China.

-Let's just hear you give it a good slurp.

-I've tried.

It's not easy, you know! QUIET SLURP

-Oh, that was rubbish!

-That was very delicate.

-That was rubbish!

-Very ladylike.

-LOUD SLURP

Oh, well done! LOUD SLURP

How does she do it?!

Well, I think those two should now be suitably refreshed for one

last shop.

Hey, hot pants!

Although, Ainsley and Christina have got a head start,

down beyond Tower Bridge at Greenwich.

once a favourite borough of the Tudors,

Greenwich was where Henry VIII was born, in 1491.

Some even claim it was the site of the legendary puddle where

Sir Walter Raleigh threw down his cloak for Good Queen Bess.

There we go. Perfect.

Well done, we're here!

-It's that kind of place!

-THEY CHUCKLE

-Hello.

-Christina, nice to meet you.

-I'm Christina. What is your name?

-I'm Toby.

-Toby, nice to meet you. This is Ainsley.

-Hello, Tony.

-How are you, mate?

-Toby!

-Toby. I apologise.

-That's all right. Looking very dapper.

I'm looking forward to looking round the shop.

-Oh.

-Oh, sorry. It's all go in here!

-There's stock coming in! I like it!

In and out all day long.

Those two desperately need another couple of buys

and they might have come to just the right shop.

Start in the retro room?

Hey! It's like we've walked into Austin Powers' sitting room!

Yeah, baby!

Hey, lots of smashing stuff, including those chairs.

Do they look familiar?

These are really quite modern design classics, aren't they?

Are they comfy? THEY CHUCKLE

It's all right. Why, thank you!

Groovy!

What can you do them for?

-Normally, I'm a 10% person, but...

-Oh, no! Boo!

But I'll do a little bit better.

I'll take 100 off.

-How about 250?

-I tell you what, yeah.

Yeah, if you really want to go for them, they're a lovely set.

-Ainsley, we said we wanted to buy furniture. We said we wanted to buy big.

-You know?

I'm not sure Ainsley's completely convinced. What about those?

Christina's choice again. Trendy theme though.

They're from about 1900, baker's shop.

If you look at the back, they're all terracotta, and then glazed.

-They are rather lovely.

-What have you got on those?

It's 275, but I'm not going to sway a lot on these, I'm afraid.

It really would be 225 on these. I like them a lot.

-What do you think?

-I'm just a bit worried about the auction room.

Unless you get specialised people coming along...

I think people need to be able to come along and look at that and want

it, need it, as opposed to walk in and think,

-"Oh, that's interesting." What do you think?

-I think they're fab.

-Really?

-Mm.

Think of people being really interested in baking...

-You like these more than the chairs.

-I love this!

They're pretty unique and I love the colours. And I'm colour-blind!

-What do you do at traffic lights?

-Don't stop!

Like quite a few London drivers, then!

-Did you say 225?

-225, but I really won't budge, I'm sorry.

-Toby!

-No!

-No! No!

-Toby...

-No!

-Toby...

-Nope.

-Tobias, actually!

-Oh, really?

What? As in - it'll take more than that "to-buy-us"?

-Ha! The opposition's arrived.

-You recognise that one.

-I do.

-Which means only one thing.

-They're already here.

-They're in there.

Don't worry. There's more than enough to go round.

-But I'm a bit overwhelmed.

-Exactly.

-I don't know where to look first.

Just look everywhere. Just keep on looking.

Plenty of brown furniture so far for those two.

Might be time to spread the risk a little.

-I think we've got to go quirky.

-Oh, right.

We've gone sophisticated, refined, real antiques...

And you want to go quirky now.

-I think as an auction cheeky lot, a bit quirky.

-Quirky it is then!

You won't get to see the bakery sign though.

Safely concealed, while the others ponder.

We said - let's spend money, let's buy cool, let's buy cooking.

-It ticks every box.

-OK.

He's not going to be easily parted from that cash.

-Let's go downstairs.

-One more look.

-In the basement, David's found something he likes.

-Oh!

-Nobody can value that.

-A naked lady to get put in the garden.

-I think that's...

-Is that meant for driving in the ground.

-You know what?

It's got to be, hasn't it?

-Yeah.

-I think it's like a fertility thing.

-Yes.

-It's African.

And that would go in amongst your gladioli.

Ha! Do you think it would? Would it improve the gladioli?

-Would it enhance your rhododendrons?

-I don't think it would, actually.

-It's not too rude.

-It's not... Sometimes they are very rude.

It's even got...underwear on.

-He's wearing a pair of pants.

-He is. No, not he, darling.

-Oh! Oh, it is she!

-Yeah.

-Oh, I say!

God, there's another one behind there.

-Oh! Ooh! He's got bits!

-Has he?

Time for Tobias to come up with a figure for the pair.

-They are quite rare.

-Yeah.

-They are not cheap.

-I'm sorry to say.

-Oh, right.

-How much are they?

-They're £350.

-Oh, right.

-Aw!

-There we go.

-I'm so sorry.

-Blimey!

Ainsley's having a very different sort of dilemma.

-I know we're looking for large objects at the moment, but...

-Have you found anything?

No, just that little doll I thought was ever so sweet.

-Which one? This one?

-The one at the back there.

Am I...? Am I barking up the wrong tree here?

Hm... £3.

Really?

Perhaps I just saw that little porcelain face and I just thought...

-It's looking at me.

-It's looking at me!

-Take me home!

-I know.

-Shall we leave him there?

-Back to the baker's.

That's him told. Come on, Ainsley! Flash the cash, mate!

Oh, look at this! VA Marches, RN. Royal Navy.

Imagine the travels this has been on.

-Ooh!

-Do you think we get the contents as well?

-Treasure!

-Ainsley, look. I think that's our sailor.

-Yeah! Might have belonged to him!

-That's his little brandy bottle there.

-Yeah, that's his brandy bottle. And...his handbag.

His handbag! I know all about that.

That has got £40 on it. What do you think, my love?

I think we came in here, we wanted a couple of big items.

That's 40, I'd like 240.

It feels like my money, that's why I'm a little bit hesitant about the whole thing.

I shouldn't be like that, because I have an expert with me.

And you're guiding me so, we have a fantastic chest,

-if you want to call it that, a metal chest.

-Trunk?

-Trunk.

-I'm sure the dealer won't mind what you call it.

-Oh, hello!

-Hello, mate.

-What's your name?

-Dave.

-Hello, Dave.

-OK, Ainsley?

-You all right?

It's got £40 on it, is there any movement on that price?

-Yeah.

-Is there?

-35.

How about 30?

-Go on, 30.

-And a peck on the cheek.

All right, then!

-Would that be all right?

-Deal, yeah.

-You're a gent, Dave.

-Deal done.

-Thank you very much.

-Well done.

At last, a deal! And Christina's found something to cap it with.

Can we put that with our trunk?

-You can put it with the trunk for a fiver.

-Oh, hello, sailor!

-I'll do a little dance for it!

LAUGHTER

So we'll put that in the trunk and include it in our £30.

That would be amazing.

Go on, put it in.

There's certainly treasure in here.

Depends on how you define it, of course, though.

-The face!

-We're having a little talk here about a thing that might be suitable,

-it is...

-Can I tell you what it is?

-Are you serious?

-Can I tell you what it is?

-It looks like a horse and trap type...

-That's exactly what it is.

-From the Victorian period.

-Yeah.

I was going to say, it came off a horse and trap a very long time ago and then it fell on the ground

-and then it rolled over several times.

-And then landed in a ditch and stayed there for 100 years.

-Then I dug it out!

-You dug it out.

This is going to come up as a surprise in front of an auction room

and they're going to say "It just looks like a bit of old wotsit."

Which sounds like pony and trap.

That is not its original material, because that is not leather.

-But underneath there...

-Is the horse hair.

-Is your old... Want to have a feel?

-No.

-Go on!

-No!

-Have a feel of it!

-I really don't.

-Have a sniff.

-I really don't.

I like it. And I can absolutely see, in a beach house or something, it'd be fantastic.

But is anyone going to see the potential in that?

It all depends on the price, I suppose.

What is it, Toby, is it 30 quid?

-I'm afraid £40 I'd take on that.

-OK.

-It's a heck of a risk, but...

You won't go below 40?

35, yeah?

-35.

-I'd love to take a punt.

-I'd love to see Ainsley's face when he sees what we've bought.

-You know what? Exactly. What do you reckon?

-Yes.

-Shall we have it? You've just bought part of a carriage.

-Toby?

-OK.

-Good man.

-Thank you.

-I won't throw a horse in with it, I'm afraid.

-I think we might be flogging a dead horse!

-Don't say that!

Sold for £35.

Ok, it's safe to uncover that baker's sign now.

Hopefully do a deal, too. Oops!

-What is your absolute best price?

-My absolute best?

I'll do 210.

200, come on, 200.

£200.

200, right, this is it, but throw in a massage, right?

LAUGHTER

Turn around.

-Hey, all right!

-Ready?

-190?

-Yeah, 200?

-You do hand reflexology!

Yeah, well done! Keep massaging the man!

All right, Ainsley, you can stop now!

Are you convinced?

For 200?

You've got a deal.

It's been a pleasure.

it's certainly been a struggle, but with the purse strings finally loosened, it's time

to take a look at what our celebrities and experts have plumped...FORE!

-Ready, ready, ready, ready?

-Ready, go!

Oh, my gosh!

Right, interesting.

I love her.

I mean I LOVE her!

LAUGHTER

- You racy lady, you! - I know!

-She is lovely!

-They didn't blush a bit.

That looks like a treasure chest,

- like somebody's treasure chest. - And it really was, for us, because inside of that we found what we think

could be a picture of the man himself.

And we also got a hat thrown in as well.

LAUGHTER

It fits you perfectly!

And we bought it in Greenwich, the home of maritime.

Now for the sign.

-That...

-What do you think it is?

-Early 20th century baker's sign is astonishing.

-I thought it was wonderful.

-Ainsley is not convinced. Really?

- I kept thinking, "Most of our money is going to go on this."

- Oh, OK. - But the baking thing is really trendy at the moment.

- That's true. - That's exactly what I told him!

So, um, excuse me, please!

- You've got a point there! - Shall I give you a hand, shall I do this one?

One, two, three go!

-Oh, wow!

-Fab!

- What is that? - Exactly.

What do you mean "What is that?"

We thought, do that up, you could upholster it,

put a beautiful cushion on it. It could be an unusual seat...

Very unusual...

..in a New England beach home

Let us show you real quality here.

- This is nice. - We've very proud of this

A George III 1790 foldover tea table.

It starts as a table maybe even in your hallway,

-but your friends come round for tea, apparently...

-Yes they do.

-..and the four of you can

sit down comfortably at a beautifully shaped table with all its little bits and pieces.

Anne and her furniture, eh?

OK, so then we go to the sublime to the, frankly, unbelievable...

-Don't say "ridiculous."

-These are 1980s chat show interview chairs.

- Oh, are they? Are they comfy? - Oh, aren't they? Michael Parkinson, eat your heart out.

You know, retro, gorgeous, unusual kitchen, unusual breakfast room.

They are very sturdy.

LAUGHTER

But what did they really think?

They looked very happy when they saw our pony and trap seat.

Ha-ha-ha, I think they did!

I didn't believe that Anne was going to like our naked lady!

I know!

-I wonder what they're saying about ours.

-Something probably really horrible.

They've taken a risk, they have taken a risk. Brown furniture is not doing very well.

Their baker's sign is gorgeous.

That is the worry.

-That is going to...

-Could that go for a lot?

-Yes, that will make them or break them.

# I'm a baker...

# I'm the baker... #

We'll be fine!

After starting out in Berkshire at Maidenhead,

our celebrities and experts will conclude their Thameside trip

at an auction in the Kent countryside in Dartford.

Just off the route pilgrims used to take to Canterbury Cathedral. Bless 'em.

ANNE: Have you ever been to an auction before?

-AINSLEY:

-I've been to an auction before, but, uh,

I do worry about, sort of, scratching my nose though.

"Sold to you, sir!"

-Anne's driving!

-Here we go. Oh, Anne's driving!

Welcome to Watermans Auction Rooms, where, for 14 years, they've been selling antiques and collectables

-the old fashioned way.

-Right, shall we head on in?

Are you excited or nervous?

ANNE: I'm feeling nervous, now.

Will Anne's brown furniture spree prevail, or will Ainsley's caution,

combined with Christina's pester power

prove the winning recipe?

Let's hear what auctioneer Colin Waterman makes of their lots.

The baker sign is very unusual.

Because it is advertising it should do very, very well.

We're talking about 100 to 200 on a good day.

There's a Davenport, pretty little thing but they went out of favour

sort of five, six years ago.

Brown furniture has had its day.

And this is the thing of the future, retro.

Anne and David bought five auction lots, spending £340,

while Ainsley and Christina bought five auction lots for a total of £310.

And they are first under the gavel

with their safe little silver purchase.

Here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go!

What shall we say to that, £50 to start me? 40?

30? You tell me. 30 straight in, thank you.

30 I have, two anywhere now?

Lovely silver box for £30. Can I see two?

Should go for more.

At £30, it's got to be sold. At £30 are we sure?

Oh, maiden bid, maiden bid.

-Never mind...

-Profit, is that profit?

-That's what you want.

Yes, it is definitely a profit.

No complaints.

Next up, Anne and David's posh coalscuttle.

If a coalscuttle can ever be posh.

Dan's going to lift it up, show his muscles.

What shall we say for that, about 50? 40?

You tell me. 30 quid then? Go on.

-Come on!

-£30, someone?

25?

£20 then.

Oh, come on, come on!

Looking for two. Last time at £20.

-You miserable lot!

-22, 24, 26.

-Go on!

-28. 30.

-Go on!

-28 there, 30 anywhere now.

Looking for £30 again, last time.

-At 28 it's got to be sold...

-Oh, no!

An even bigger loss after auction costs.

We're just getting warmed up here.

-Oh, yeah.

-So are we!

Yeah. Handbags at dawn, eh? Speaking of which...

We paid £30 for it, there's an estimate of £20 - £22.

-We've got to get it up more than that.

-Well, see what happens.

Have to do a bit of modelling or something.

The catwalk won't know what's hit it.

He's off.

-The 1940s...

-DAVID:

-Oh! Oh, I say!

It looks great with or without glasses, girls. Look at this.

Start me off at £30, someone. 20 then, for it. Nice vintage handbag.

-Hold it up, come on.

-15 then.

-I'm showing you, look.

Anyone at 15 on the vintage handbag?

-15 I have, 16 anywhere now?

-Really is beautiful.

18, 20. 22. 24.

ANNE: Go on, Ainsley!

28, 30. 28 with the lady there, 30 anywhere now?

Still selling at £20 for the last time now.

-DAVID:

-Oh, but well modelled.

-The next auction's on the 27th, can you come back?

-Yes!

-Oh, no, we lost money on it!

-Oh, did you?

Well, I'm sure that without modelling it,

it would have been a lot worse.

So, are you going to carry around your horse...?

-Yes, I may well do.

-Put it on your back.

Time for Anne's big fat Georgian gamble.

Quality, that's what it says.

And real age as well. Real period age to it.

But unfortunately as we all know, we are dictated to by fashion.

I know, I know.

I think you should sell it with a tin of paint.

Yeah, to paint and distress it.

-I know. I know.

-Can we see it? It's over there.

Can you bring it over? He's a strong lad. Go on, Dan, come on, Danny.

-What can we say for that, 100?

-Come on.

-Come on, guys.

-You tell me.

£70 then. No? Nobody at 70 on it?

-Come on.

-60?

-Not looking good.

Any interest at all? 40?

40 I've got. 40 I've got. Five?

-50? Five. 60.

-Come on, come on.

Five. 70.

Five anywhere now? 70 I've still got, looking for five.

It's got to be sold. At £70...

Devastating.

HE SOBS

That is a blow.

But someone's got themselves a very nice table.

How about Ainsley and Christina's piece of maritime history?

Start me off at, what, £90 for it? 80? You tell me.

£60 for it, someone start me? Nope? 50?

-Come on, come on.

-Coffee table.

Coffee table, painted, shabby chic. 45? 40? 30? You tell me.

Any interest at all? 20? 20 I've got.

-We'll take that.

-20 I've got. Five anywhere now?

-20 I've got. 22. 24. 26, 28. 30. 32.

-Go on.

30, I've got. Two anywhere now?

On the naval trunk, 32, last time at £32, it's got to be sold.

Ohhh!

A tiny profit, but sadly another loss after costs.

Don't think you'll ever go to another auction again, Ainsley.

-Can we start again?

-I feel like going for a wee. Where's the loo?

At least the next lot is one of the opposition's. Anne's favourite buy.

-How much did we buy it for?

-£100. It feels very expensive.

-Can we bring it in?

-Give them a hand. Come on, Dan, there we are.

There we are, son. There we are.

Very good job.

-Lovely little thing there.

-Hold it up, hold it up.

What shall we say for that? £100? 90? 80?

-Come on.

-Work the lid, Ainsley.

-60 then, 60 I've got.

-Come on, everybody.

Five anywhere now? Thank you. 70.

-Five.

-It's got the ink pot, look.

80, five. The reserve's a lot more.

-80 I've got. Last time, five. 90.

-Go on!

95 I've still got, last time at 95.

-One more!

-100 I've got. It came back.

-Yes!

-105. At £100.

-I think this is a world-record price.

-100...

-Thank you.

-That's good.

Good work, Ainsley. I think you saved them.

-Well done, Ainsley.

-Can I hire him out?

-Yes!

Time for his little swinger. But there's bad news.

-You know our naked lady that you loved?

-Yeah.

We just went over to have a look at her and her foot has come off.

DAVID: Oh, bless her.

The auctioneer's given an insurance valuation of £30.

So there's a small profit guaranteed at least.

30 quid, 20, ten, you tell me. Ten I've got at the back.

-12 anywhere now? 12, 14.

-Still like her, don't we?

-20.

22. 24. 26. 28.

30. 32.

-Hang on a minute!

-We'll take the price!

Selling at £32 for the last time...