Celebrities hunt for antiques across the UK. The Young Ones' Nigel Planer challenges Sally Phillips of Miranda fame to an antiques duel.
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The nation's favourite celebrities...
-Got some proper bling here.
-..paired up with an expert...
-..and a classic car.
Get your legs up! All right, girls!
Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.
-All breakages must be paid for.
This is a good find, is it not?
The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.
But it's no easy ride.
Who will find a hidden gem? Who will take the biggest risks?
Turning my antiques head on.
Will anybody follow expert advice?
I think it's horrible.
-There will be worthy winners...
-This is better than Christmas!
-..and valiant losers.
-No, I'm sorry.
Time to put your pedal to the metal. THEY CHEER
This is Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.
Today, we're in the South of England
where a couple of comedy legends
are swapping being funny for finding antiques,
as Sally Phillips and Nigel Planer begin their road trip.
Any form in the antiques business, you two?
I did once drive an HGV lorry...
..which was, which had antique dealer written down the side of it.
But it was full of hippies...in the back from Glastonbury Festival.
Was this, that was in real life or is that pretending?
No, that's real life - that's not me being deadpan funny.
And we got stopped by the police
and we had to pretend that we were antique dealers
because we're not meant to have,
like, we had about 12 hippies in the back.
Comedian, actor and playwright,
Nigel is most famous for his role as Neil in cult sitcom The Young Ones.
# And all that I knew was a hole in my shoe
# Which was letting in water. #
# Letting in water... #
Do you know what...
It wasn't my actual first single, but one of my first singles was?
-Hole In My Shoe?
-It was, yeah.
Well, that's an antique.
Fellow comedian, writer and actress
Sally is best-known for her hilarious performances in smash-hit comedies
like Smack The Pony, romcom Bridget Jones's Diary and Miranda.
This car is, is...
I mean, I'm having, like, flashbacks to being in my grandmother's car.
Are you saying I drive like your grandmother?
No, it's the smell, actually.
Nice. GEARS CRUNCH
Friends from the comedy business,
Sally and Nigel are kicking off their trip in this little beauty -
a stunning 1971 MG BGT.
I had one of those - chrome bumpers.
Indicate, engage gear, don't stall, go around the corner.
-There we are.
Pointing Sally and Nigel in the right direction
are two very experienced auctioneers, Margie Cooper and David Harper,
who are hurtling to meet them in a 1961 Riley.
So, how do you like the car?
Well...from a distance, I think it's fantastic.
But when you get inside it and you get these funny Austin seats
and these bizarre, bizarre, ridiculous seat belts,
it sort of loses the plot.
-What do you think of it?
-I think we should be rallying with these.
RALLY CAR ENGINE ROARS
-Do you think they're going to be nervous?
-Can't possibly be, can they?
-I don't know, I don't know.
Well, unless they think that we know everything.
Oh, my lord, they're on the wrong show.
Maybe so am I. Ha!
With £400 to spend,
our two pairs will be taking a trip around the South of England
starting in Gloucester.
They'll then venture south
before heading to auction in Twickenham, South West London.
Best behaviour, you two - our guests have arrived.
-You know, don't kill them, Nigel.
It'll take a while to get out of that.
-Now comes the difficult bit.
-Oh, my gosh.
Shall we peel you out?
Are you all right there, Nigel?
Looks like you're on your own, mate.
-It's only, only for short people.
-Morning, Sally, lovely to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
-Well done - you did it. Hello, nice to see you.
Hi there, Margie. How are you doing? Go in for a snog.
-We're going in that one?
-Oh, that's great.
You've been spared with your long legs.
It's very distinguished. It's like a doctor's car.
-With very special seats.
I think I'm going to be all right in that, yeah. Headroom.
Is that better for you?
That's going to be a lot better for me, yes, thank you.
And I think, Sally, our little red sporty number is more us, isn't it?
-Do you want me to drive?
-Do you drive?
-No, I can't drive.
-You can't drive?
-I can't even drive.
-So I'm a proper manservant, aren't I?
-I'll let you in then.
Have dreadful taste!
-Oh, don't worry - he's with Margie.
Oh, he did that very well. I'm so disappointed.
It makes a nice noise, that car.
Right, off we go then.
You're a founder member of the London Comedy Store?
Comedy Store and Comic Strip, yes.
-So The Young Ones came from that?
-Yeah, it did, really.
-We had our characters all set up...
-See, I'm laughing already.
-..and they were part of our act.
How long did it run?
-We only did 12 episodes.
Last year, I was working with Henry Winkler, The Fonz...
-Oh, yeah? Oh, he's brilliant.
-..and we got chatting.
I said, "How many episodes did you do?"
He said, "Oh, you know, 397 or something. How many did you do?"
I said, "Oh, 12."
-I can't believe that.
-It's ridiculous, isn't it?
-It's like Basil Fawlty.
-Yeah, that's right.
-That was only a few.
-And The Office - that's only 12.
I think it's become a sort of almost...
a pretentious thing.
Almost as though, "Well, we're only going to do 12."
Pretentious? Moi? We turn hundreds.
First stop of the trip is Fab and Faded -
the shop, not the folks.
-Ah, here we are.
-Oh, here we go.
-Hello, I'm Nigel.
-Nice to meet you. I'm Sally.
Yes, we're going to come and have a root around, as we...
Excellent. We do like root-ers around-ers.
Well, that's handy. Happy rooting, then.
-I'm following you...
-..at a pace.
Levi's worn in 1910.
Where's...? I've lost him. He's gone.
-Oh, he's there!
-I was just looking at that, yeah.
I know what'll happen - anything I pick up,
Margie will look at and say, "Oh, no, not that."
She'll just go... She'll just dismiss it immediately.
You'll never know if you don't give it a go, Nigel.
Oh, is that the god...?
-I like Ganesh.
He's the god of new opportunities.
-Actors have him.
-And he's also the god of sweets.
-Sweets? Eating sweets...
-Sweets and cakes, yeah.
-Oh, I love him.
-And he's the god of travel as well.
-Is he really?
He should have a mouse or a rat under his foot.
-Oh, that's interesting.
-And he's got one broken tusk.
-Yeah. Always got one.
-No, I mean...
-Oh, he's supposed to have...
-He always has one broken tusk, yeah.
-Why has he got one broken tusk?
I don't know, actually.
September the...something like the eighth is his day.
-Gosh, you know all about him.
-Ganapati. Yes, I know about Ganesha.
-Well, not ALL about Ganesha.
-And then it's probably not worth anything.
I mean, that's my... Personally, I like that.
Well, it's nice that you've gone to something that you really like.
Yeah. But we're not here for what I like, are we?
-No, because it's not...
-We're here to beat Sally Phillips.
Fighting talk - I like it.
Best find out the price then, chaps.
The thing is, you know, it's not an antique,
which is what we're about.
In kind of hippie shops, there's lots and lots of Ganeshas -
is not exactly rare.
How about 20?
20's really good.
-15, I think, I think would be...
-OK. Well, that's great.
-There you are.
-But it's a lovely old thing.
-On your head be it.
-Yes, all right.
Nigel's kicked things off buying something he loves.
What else does he fancy?
Oh, looks like that old school desk has turned his head.
People like these. It's 59.
-If we got it down a bit...
-And with that. Oh, look at that.
-That's quite nice, isn't it? Kingfisher...
-And you put the ink in there.
-Is that with it or not?
Oh, that could be all right, that.
-Do you think that could be thrown in with it?
-I think it is.
-It's a kids' school desk.
-Cos people want these.
-And you don't usually see them in mahogany.
-And it's also, unlike other ones it's flat on the top...
..so it's not going to slide off.
So, you could, in fact, put a computer laptop...
Is that going to break if my bum goes on it?
-Oh... Oh, hey. That takes me back.
-What do you reckon?
-I used to spend my life going like that...
I don't believe you, Margie.
I bet you were a model student.
The owner of this nifty little school desk and chair
is actually in the shop.
So, with a ticket price of £59, what kind of deal can they strike?
-Why, you look very nice sitting in the chair.
-Thank you very much.
Now, it's got to be 50.
-45 cash to me.
-You know, that's...
You know, we're just desperately trying to get this thing
to make money at auction.
40 cash to me, if you can do that.
-40 cash to you?
-All right, done.
-He's done it.
-Chair as well...
..because you look so nice sitting in the chair.
Oh, thank you so much.
There you are. Shake on it, boys and girls.
That's the charming school desk and chair for £40...
..and the Hindu god for 15.
Great start, Nigel.
Out on the road,
Sally and David are making their way to their first shop in Gloucester.
Have you had any experience
with buying in antique shops, negotiating...?
-No, I haven't had any experience of negotiating.
And I'm also really unassertive - like, I can't even,
even when I know I'm being ripped off in a Middle Eastern souk...
-You're just happy...
-I just can't...
No, I just can't negotiate, really. I'm really...
I'm just not assertive.
-So maybe we can be nasty and nice. Like...
-We can do that.
We can play it like a double act. Yeah, OK, we'll do that.
Time to see how well their plan will work.
So, here we are - this is...
-This may be my first antiques shop.
Well, listen, welcome to the antiques business.
-Thank you. I can't wait.
-So, Upstairs Downstairs - I love that.
-Sort of sitcom-themed antiques shop.
-Perfect for you.
What I particularly love about it
is that there doesn't appear to be an upstairs.
Oh, no. It's all on one level.
It's basically a bungalow antiques shop called Upstairs Downstairs.
-It's already genius.
Hm... Well, it may look that way from the outside,
but inside, not only does this place have an upstairs,
but it's jam-packed with potential purchases.
Oh! What's that? An old gramophone?
Isn't that lovely? What date do you think it is?
Um...I've no idea.
-Without looking at the ticket.
Don't use my trick - reading the ticket
and then pretending to know everything.
Well, I'm guessing it's older than me.
Well, I would hope it's a lot older than you,
unless you're looking very good,
cos that was made in about 1910.
I had one of these recently, a travel one.
It was absolutely amazing, but it made a few hundred quid,
but it was the kind of thing you would have put in your vintage car.
-Circa 1910, 1915.
-And take it for a picnic.
Picnic. Can you imagine?
Yeah, that would've been so much better, wouldn't it?
But that's still cool.
Clearly keen, it's time to call over owner, Vic,
and let Sally have her first bash at negotiating.
-Erm, Sally wants to talk to you about price.
-If you can help her out.
-I can try.
-It says on the ticket it's £110.
Why would that be?
I've just sort of put a reasonable value
cos it's a lovely thing, actually.
-Came through the door, it was in a bit of a state.
We repolished it, made sure everything's working correctly,
and I think the value is around 110...
-..but I'm open to a sensible offer.
Is that it? Is that it?
-That is absolutely... Excuse me.
-What day is today?
-I think auction, 50 to 90.
Could it, could it be closer to the bottom end?
-I can't believe your cheek.
I'm with Vic on this one. 50 quid?! For that?
It was just a nice... I did it nicely.
It was only a question...
He's nothing if not cheeky,
so what's the best price Vic is willing to offer?
75 quid will buy it, and I'll chuck some records in as well
and we'll put in a little tin with needles in.
I think that's perfectly fair.
I think we should do some shaking of hands -
-that's what you normally do.
I want a kiss... I want a kiss for that as well.
-Oh, that's another five quid.
-Come on, come on.
You've got a lot to learn on the negotiating front, Sally.
But a good deal from Vic has bagged the gramophone
and it looks like they're on a roll.
What I like about these two is that
they seem to have started life just as baluster vases
as opposed to lamps.
It looks like they've been converted at some point.
-Are they, are they your taste?
-You know what?
I've got three boys,
so it would be insanity to have these in my house
because everything gets broken.
But what I love about these, the fact that there is some age,
but I would safely described them as 20th-century.
-They've been converted, but they're a pair...
-..and pair of anything is so desirable.
So it's two things.
-One, it says double.
The second thing it says is happiness.
There's magic in it. Let's get the vases.
How much are the vases?
-Whatever the price.
-My dream client.
-A happy marriage.
-Shall I go and find out how much they are?
-Go and find out.
-You stay there.
-I'll stay here.
I'll just squeeze by. Double happiness.
-I might sort of rub them...
..and hope there'll be oriental magic.
Hm, ticket price is £150.
Do you think we might buy them at 110
to give us a little bit of a chance or not?
You will buy them at 110 quid.
-Shall we buy them?
-Let's buy them.
Vic, thank you very, very much. That's...two kisses.
That's a second lot bought, but Sally's still not done.
Hm, so you quite like this, do you?
Well, it just makes me think of Call The Midwife.
Erm, I think you're probably right.
-I think it probably was a nurse's bike.
..in these times, probably Edwardian,
it would have had little strings from here all the way down
to hook onto that
and that stopped their uniform or Victorian dress
from going under the wheel.
This bike is probably about 1910.
So, I've no idea what this would cost.
Um, I think, if we're selling it, it would be £100.
-Can that be 60 quid?
-90 quid. Yes, that would be...
-Do you want that?
-That would be amazing.
-Save yourself a tenner.
-Thank you very much.
-Aw, Vic's gone for it.
Bold buying there,
with just under three quarters of their budget
spent in the first shop. Ha!
Taking a break from shopping,
Margie and Nigel have hit the road and are heading to Slimbridge.
-Ah, just missed the rain.
Yep, Nigel's a keen bird-watcher,
so they've come to the Slimbridge Wetland Centre,
a world-renowned reserve for wildfowl
which was the vision of the father of modern conservation, Sir Peter Scott.
Here to tell them more is Peter Morris
from the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust.
Tell us about Peter Scott and how he ended up here.
You know, what it was all for.
He was the son of a famous explorer, Captain Scott of the Antarctic,
and when Captain Scott was dying on the ice sheets,
he wrote in his dying letter, "Get my son interested in nature."
And Peter Scott's mum did exactly that,
and Peter Scott grew up to be
the godfather, if you like, of modern conservation.
In this day and age,
we just assume that we know that one species is threatened or vulnerable
and we know where all these wild geese fly
and migrate around the world.
60, 70 years ago, we didn't know any of that,
and Peter Scott is the man
who was absolutely crucial in getting all that knowledge together
and a lot of that thinking happened right here in this room.
And people may remember the programme Look
-in the 1950s and '60s.
He presented some of the programmes from here
and they, in fact, built a studio to look like this room
because it was such a nice view.
And the very first live wildlife broadcast
came from right where we're standing looking out across there.
Passionate about wildlife from an early age,
Sir Peter loved to paint and draw animals.
It was while painting visiting Bewick's swans
that he discovered each could be identified
by the unique pattern on their bill,
and so started one of the longest-running
single species studies in the world.
Wow, look how detailed they are.
And they could facially recognise each one,
the black and yellow markings.
That was 50 years ago,
and to this day, the study continues.
It's the only one of a studies of species
by just recognising its face
rather than rings or flags or anything like that and...
We should have white gloves on, really.
So, are they like people - they've got different faces?
They are. Until this study, we didn't know that they...
-Have got different faces.
-..that they mated for life.
We've recorded two divorces in 50 years.
-Is that right?
There's paintings all around the room and sketches as well.
Probably the more famous one, a black-and-white panda.
-Do you recognise that? Yes. That's the...
-And Peter Scott was the founding chair...
-Was he really?
And the IUCN,
the International Union for Conservation and Nature,
he was part of the building of that whole framework
that the WWF feeds into
that, really, conservation around the world is based on today.
As well as being able to look out across the impressive wetlands,
Sir Peter believed they would be better to look down on,
so he insisted that there was a lookout tower
at every wetland centre across the UK.
-And here we are.
-Oh, what a...bird's eye view.
As well as all the wild reserves out there,
of course, around us here,
we've got captive birds on exhibit
including, I think it's the only place in the world even -
certainly the only place in Europe -
that you can see all six species of flamingo in one place.
Of the other species here,
we've got all sorts of birds, like barnacle geese,
and also you'll see wandering around the grounds
a very cheeky little goose called a nene.
It's the Hawaiian goose.
It's called a nene because of
the little ne-ne-ne-type sound that it makes -
it's very gentle.
We thought it was extinct.
In the 1950s, it was down to around 30 individuals in the wild -
it had nearly gone.
So Peter Scott got some eggs back from Hawaii,
bred up from a first pair, got some more and more.
Over time, bred them back into a stable position.
Now, they're still the rarest goose in the world -
there's only a couple of thousand of them around -
but at each of our each nine wetland centres around the country,
you can see nenes.
Sir Peter Scott was one of the most influential conservationists
of the 20th century
and the first one to be knighted in 1973.
His passion for wildlife continued until his death on 29 August 1989 -
just two weeks short of his 80th birthday.
But his legacy lives on.
Meanwhile, back on the road,
Sally and David are making their way to Stroud.
Now, you've worked on so many different shows -
and iconic ones, too.
So you're a pretty well-known face.
Any major favourites?
Well, Smack The Pony, obviously, I was incredibly lucky to do that
cos we had free rein to do pretty much what we wanted,
and I'm still really good friends with the girls.
But then I really loved doing Jam and Jerusalem
-which was Jennifer Saunders...
-Oh, it was fanta...
Yeah, I lots of people didn't see that.
It was just such a nice thing to do. We shot it in Devon,
and I think Jen was so kind, cos I'd had...
..I'd had my first child, Ollie, who's got Down's syndrome
-and I was a bit shocked and fat...
..and she let me play this character who was a hippy
and just looked and smelt awful and wore stretchy clothes.
And so we basically, once a year, we'd go down,
and I had two of my three kids on that show.
Aw, how nice.
They've arrived at The Antiques Emporium, Griffin Mill,
on the hunt for more lots to take to auction.
There you go. Couldn't get any closer, could you?
-Hello. Welcome to The Emporium.
-Thank you very much.
-Nice to meet you.
-And you. I'm Sally.
Hi. Lovely to see you. Sally's very good at negotiating.
-I've just got to pre-warn you.
You need to sit down, have a cup of tea.
-Prepare yourself. I'm brutal.
Yeah, I would.
Before unleashing Sally's bargaining skills,
you first need to find something to buy.
What's him? What's 'him'? He?
He's only 20 quid.
-He's made of metal.
How heavy is he?
Not too bad. Hollow.
-What's he been off, then?
-He's 20 quid. If we could...
-..get him, haggle him down, get him down for a tenner.
He'd be good, wouldn't he?
It's got age, hasn't it?
It's probably got 100 years to it.
I love this world where good age is a good thing.
I've got some age. I've got age.
You haven't got much age. You need much more age.
OK, I mean, so he's spelter, I'm guessing,
on a metal plinth.
He looks like he's got a...
Sort of First World War face, doesn't it?
-In a Greek outfit.
Oh, he's missing a bit of his sword. Have you noticed that?
-His sword's been chopped off.
-Yeah, that's not good, is it?
And he's missing an arm.
-He's missing an...
-Yeah, he's missing that.
How did we not spot that he's missing in arm?
-That's absolutely ridiculous.
What you call 'armless fun.
SHE CONTINUES TO CHUCKLE
You know, the good thing about us two, we're so observant.
-Shall we get it anyway?
-I'd love to get it.
Better get Sarah over
and maybe she can shed some light on our mysterious man.
To me, it represents something Mongolian.
-So that's my thoughts on it.
-Cos of the helmet.
The little skirt and sandals, though, is not terribly Mongolian.
-That's more Greek.
So you could be right.
I think he's maybe, actually,
a Victorian interpretation of a mystical, magical figure...
-..with a mix-up of everything
from Greek to 1973 glam rock.
Um, what sort of price would you like to pay for him?
We'd like to pay...
No, nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with me.
-What sort of money...
-I can't remember what we said.
-Can I confer? Five pounds.
I don't know. You've stunned me rather.
-I did say prepare.
-I don't like this at all.
-But you do it so well.
-You do it so well.
-No, I don't do it well.
Well, I was thinking ten.
-Shall we have him?
-Yeah, let's have him.
-Sarah, thank you.
-Thanks very much.
-It's a pleasure.
So, at a tenner, that's half price,
even if he is a bit battle-scarred.
And with that lot bought,
we say toodle-pip to the first day of the road trip.
Nighty night, you lot.
The next morning, our celebrities are back on the road.
Did you sleep well?
I slept fine knowing that I'd made some very good purchases.
-Oh, my word.
-Well, that's a very good start.
He's not got the hang of that car, has he?
So far, Nigel and Margie have bought just two lots -
the Hindu god and the mahogany school desk and chair
which leaves a huge £345 available to spend.
Sally and David, meanwhile, have bought big, bagging four lots -
the Edwardian gramophone, the baluster vases,
the 20th-century bicycle and the spelter warrior figure
which means they have £115 to play with
when they arrive at the next shop on the trip - Bath.
This morning, both teams are starting their shopping day
at the Bath VA Vintage and Antiques Market
held within the historic Green Park Station. Lovely.
-Lovely little spot.
-Yeah, but could do with a few more stalls.
I know, but you see, that doesn't worry me at all
cos I've only got one object to buy.
It would worry me, funnily enough, if I was you.
Oh, don't, please. Don't get me started.
-DAVID AND MARGIE CHUCKLE
-Don't run over my toes, Nige.
I am the manservant, so I've got to go and open the door.
I've got to get out of this thing again.
Oh, you don't open doors on your own.
-You're my servant again?
Uh-oh - he's stuck again.
-I'm not even going to say hello to Margie.
-I'm just going to emanate...
-Is that your tactic?
-I'm sending you hostile vibes.
-We've got this lot here as well.
-Shall we go?
-She's got her running shoes on.
Don't worry - she doesn't run very fast.
That's Margie going at...
Oh, my gosh, she does run fast. Come on.
And they're off!
With an eclectic mix of traders, there's plenty here for our teams.
I think that's got a chance.
-Yeah. I mean, you know, if you...
I mean that's onyx, not marble, isn't it?
95. I mean, it's Deco, the lamp's original.
-Yeah. I think that's good.
-Do you think that could...?
-It's got to shift down a bit.
75 would be good, wouldn't it?
Ticket price, £95. The dealer is William.
-We're having a look at this.
-We're not madly in love, but we like it.
-Yeah, we like it.
-And it works, presumably?
Well, yeah, I mean, it's all original,
this is all original with the exception of the switch.
which has obviously, for safety reasons,
-has been replaced sympathetically.
-On this one, I would take £80.
I mean, 75 would've been absolutely fantastic.
But 80 does sound OK, as far as I'm concerned.
-We'll take this.
Yeah, we'll take this. It's a good idea.
Nigel doesn't mess about - look at that.
Meanwhile, Sally and David have spotted something.
-Ooh, is it a little viewfinder?
Hold it up to the light.
No, the other way. That's it.
And do the... That's it. Like 3-D.
I think this reminds me of my childhood.
-I see. What are you looking at?
-I'm looking at Switzerland.
-I think, I quite like this.
It might be quite interesting
cos these are all places that have changed beyond recognition.
-Lake Como maybe, Milan - oh, that would be different.
-Two of California.
Three of California. I wonder if they're all the same.
Well, actually, no, you're right,
because I love looking at old photographs and old films...
-..because you get a snapshot of life.
Let's have a look at what it's made from.
Is it actually Bakelite?
You know what? I think it is.
-Do you think it's Bakelite?
-I think so.
-I think it is.
The best Bakelite is from the 1920s and '30s - they're Art Deco -
so this is much later, '50s.
And it has an Art Deco feel to it, doesn't it? Don't you think?
-Yes, it does.
-Yes, it does.
With a ticket price of £25 for the View-Master and slides,
will dealer Geoffrey deal?
£20 is the death, is it?
I think so, yes.
He says, "I think," so there's like a tiny little mouse hole.
-I'll be more specific - yes, it is the death.
OK, we don't think it is, do we? Really.
18, and that's it.
OK, 18, that's it.
-Have we done it?
-We've done it.
-OK. Shake his hand and do the deal.
-Thank you very, very much.
-I hope you make a massive profit.
Well, I don't think we'll make a massive profit, but...
-I think it's really good. Good fun.
-..I think it's rather cute.
While Sally and David have bought their final lot,
Nigel and Margie have spotted some rather nice-looking card cases.
The thing is, with these, Nigel, is the damage.
You know, they have been quite well-used things.
And you know, you always have to look for trouble, which I hate.
Because when you think how old they are...
You couldn't get a pack of cards in there.
-You mean your visiting card.
-Your visiting card.
Yeah, probably... These are ladies' visiting cards.
It always makes me think of an age of elegance.
-You know, we don't do stuff like this
-any more. Oh, it is, yeah.
-I mean, visiting cards, you know, that's all the women did.
Yeah. You can have a dance with me.
-The next dance, and I'll give you the card.
-Or you call round for tea.
-Yes, calling for tea.
-The interest in that one is
we've got the original cards in there.
Ah, let's have a look.
Mrs FR Cann.
-And she lived... Oh, my goodness!
She lives on East Sheen Avenue.
My cousin lives there.
She lives... My cousin lives on East Sheen Avenue!
My dad lives on East Sheen.
Well, isn't that amazing?
Oh, we've got to have that cheap now.
-It's meant to be.
-So that's what?
-You want that one?
-Nice to meet you.
-Have we worn you out?
A very generous £70 off the ticket price there
for the little card case.
All shopped out, Sally and David are taking a break in Bath,
a city where many a famous face has taken to the stage, including Sally.
It's also where Sarah Siddons, one of the most celebrated
actresses of the 18th century
first found fame at the Old Theatre Royal.
Built in 1750 as the first Theatre Royal outside London,
this Grade II listed building has been home to one of England's
oldest provincial Masonic lodges since 1865.
Local author and historian Malcolm Toogood is here
to tell Sally and David more.
-I can't help noticing, this isn't a theatre.
-It was originally a theatre.
And you're actually within the original four walls
of that 1750 theatre.
But the basis of the room hasn't changed at all, then.
So the pillars we're looking at there, that was the stage.
That was the stage in 1774.
The problem was you had no form of ventilation system in it.
So you just imagine,
you've got 800, 900 people crowded in here on a busy night.
Lots of candles.
Lots of candles, tallow candles made from animal products.
You've got the situation where personal hygiene
wasn't at 21st-century standards.
And no ventilation.
So it wasn't the finest evening one might have spent at the theatre.
One person who really helped put this theatre on the map was one of
the greatest tragic actresses England had ever seen -
Born into a very prolific acting dynasty,
the Kembels, Sarah showed amazing ability from an early age.
By the time she was 20, she was spotted
and recommended to the famous actor and theatre manager
David Garrick, who went on to have several theatres named after him.
He had her for trial in London in 1775. But he rejected her.
He felt that her voice wasn't strong enough for the London stage.
So she went back into repertory and was eventually found
and brought here in 1778.
And that was really the point at which her career took off
because Bath then was the winter watering hole for London society.
-And they all came here to the theatre.
Of course, when they went back to London in the spring,
her reputation went back with them.
And then the empresarios started coming to look at how good she was.
One of these empresarios was Drury Lane theatre owner Sheridan,
who persuaded her to move to London.
Sarah was an instant hit
and was crowned the queen of tragedy on the English stage.
Despite her phenomenal success, Sarah never forgot the stage which helped
her become famous and returned to Bath from time to time to perform.
In 1799, she agreed to come back to perform for the benefit
of William Diamond, who was the actor-manager here.
And it was announced from this stage at 10pm
on a Saturday evening
that Mrs Siddons would be performing here next week.
And the Bath Harold announced on the Monday morning that by 8am
that morning, all of the box seats had already been sold.
-So it just spread like wildfire.
-Spread like wildfire.
And there was no...
There were no Twitter feeds or anything like that in those days.
-It was just word-of-mouth.
So she arrived in the city on the Wednesday.
Wherever she went, she was mobbed
-because she was by then an internationally famous actress.
So when they open the doors at 4pm on the Saturday to let
the visitors in, the newspaper says that pandemonium broke out,
-as you can probably imagine.
So the management decided that it would be a good idea
if they started the play to calm it all down,
which happened until, of course, Sarah herself came on stage.
-And they all went crazy.
-And it all kicked off again.
And as the newspaper says, the constable was summoned.
-They were warned.
There were probably 1,000 people in this room.
But they sorted it all out.
But you get an idea that this idea of culture, personality and so on...
That was 1799, and it was happening even then.
Some say Sarah's spellbinding performances may have been
influenced by a number of tragic events in her own life,
from an unhappy marriage to outliving five of her seven children.
Sarah Siddons died in 1831, age 75,
but will forever be remembered as the greatest actress of the 18th century.
Back on the road, Nigel and Margie
are making their way to Corsham.
Oh, I don't like this steering wheel.
-No, it's too big, isn't it?
-It's thin, isn't it?
-Thin and wide.
Where would we be without a moan, eh?
We're British, for goodness' sake.
-You have to have a whinge.
-Actually, the collective noun for actors is a whinge.
-A whinge of actors.
-A whinge of actors, yeah.
Well, I'd never heard of that one before. Anyway, onwards and upwards.
There is still shopping to be done.
This looks very high-end to me.
Looks nice. Nice, nice, nice!
Situated within a pretty Georgian country house,
Harley Antiques holds a huge range of antique furniture and collectibles.
It's run by Mark.
-Hello. I'm Nigel.
This is very posh.
This is all very, very posh.
With £205 left,
they've certainly got some cash to splash.
Looks like a sort of pearly king hat.
-Right, and how much is that?
-It's 88 at the moment but...
-Yeah, that's... That's, yeah.
Well, if you don't fancy that,
what about a Venetian 1950s Murano glass vase then?
Ticket price - £78.
-Say 65 for that then is the absolute best.
To try and make it for that is...
You know, with the special holes in it as well,
-so it is quite...
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-It's quite a lot of work.
What is your thinking, Margie?
It's a nice, handsome piece and I like it.
-So if I like it, somebody else will like it.
You couldn't squeeze it a bit more, could you?
And then we'll leave you.
-No, I'm afraid 65...
-58 wouldn't buy it? For cash.
-58 for cash, then, yeah.
-Right, we've done it.
That final purchase means our teams are all bought up.
Well, we got ourselves a fifth item, didn't we?
Time for a bit of show and tell, me thinks.
DAVID: Well, do you think these two are looking nervous?
-Very nervous. I'm always nervous.
Because you know what, Harper, your glass is always half full.
It is, of course it is. I live on optimism and hope.
Well, I acknowledge that and I salute you.
Are you going to need hope with these things you've got?
You know what, I don't think so.
We take the whole lot at once? OK, here we go.
Ah! Look, look!
Here we go.
-Shall we start up here?
-Well, we'll sneak down there.
Oh, you come down.
-Yeah, this is a nurse's bike.
-From 1910. It looks just like...
BOTH: Call The Midwife!
-It has got the original pump. New saddle and new basket,
-but everything else, in the original condition.
-The original pump.
-How much, Sally?
-I can't remember.
THEY LAUGH After all that! 90.
TIM: What will they make of your unknown soldier?
Who is this, Nige?
Now, with your interest in Samuel Johnson,
we believe you'll know who this is.
Oh, I see. Blimey!
Yeah, it's Prince of Abyssinia.
-How do you know that?
I think you're making this up.
This book was really popular. It was mentioned Jane Eyre,
Good Lord, really?
-And how much did you pay?
-How much do you think?
-For a museum piece.
I reckon, if you paid more than 80 for that...
-..you're in trouble.
50... Not 25 quid!
-Ten pounds for Rasselas.
-Ten pounds for Rasselas.
We really did pay ten pounds.
-But we don't... It's not Rasselas.
-I have no idea who...
-For crying out loud!
That has me feeling a bit of a duffer.
-Enough of this silliness.
-Yeah, come on. Come and see ours.
Let's get to the serious bit.
-There we are.
-Oh, look at this.
-There we are.
-That's a Ganesh.
-That's a Ganesh.
-And we thought he would bring us really good luck.
Little did we know that he might have been asleep...
on this occasion.
And was he very expensive? Cos he's quite new, he's quite modern.
You can't bargain that for £15 anywhere.
TIM: What about the desk and chair?
-This is interesting.
-This is my sort of favourite.
-Now, this is mahogany, right?
You're going to sell that no problem.
But look, we've researched Kingfisher of West Brom,
and they are high-end.
And it cost...they cost...
-No way! You're going to be aces with that.
-That is a lovely thing.
-So, eclectic mix.
-And we shall see you at the auction.
-We shall see you at the auction.
-Come on you.
-We go this direction.
TIM: Out of earshot, what did they really make of each other's lot?
I thought theirs were much wilder choices than ours, weren't they?
-In fact, they were bonkers, really.
-They were very funny.
-And all that rubbish about that spelter figure.
Oh, that was funny.
DAVID AND SALLY LAUGH
So basically, I don't care. If...
..nobody buys Rasselas, he has already earned his money.
They were both petrified.
They were both thinking, "Why don't we know anything about Rasselas?
"We are going to look so stupid."
These two know everything about Rasselas.
The bike and the gramophone is kind of high risk.
-High risk game to play.
-Very high risk.
What do you think is high risk on ours?
I don't think there is anything high risk. I think...
-Maybe we paid a bit too much for that lamp.
-But you know more than I.
-Yeah, I think we have.
We'll scrape a profit.
-We better had.
-I am a little afraid by their collection, though.
-It looks, like, seriously, doesn't it?
-No, it doesn't.
Apart from Ganesh.
-Yeah, Ganesh is brand spanker. He was made last Tuesday.
-There is no doubt about that.
-Rasselas trumps Ganesh.
I mean, like, not the actual, you know, god or anything,
Yeah, we've got Ganesh with Rasselas, there is no doubt.
Uh-oh, she's off again.
Moving swiftly on,
it's time to head to auction.
From starting in Gloucester,
our two teams have travelled 175 miles
and are now motoring towards Twickenham, in South West London,
for the big finale.
So, how are you feeling about the auction?
-Um, I'm quite nervous, actually. It's funny, isn't it?
I've never really been to an auction before.
And I'm fascinated to know how the guy at the top
knows that it is a bit.
You see it on film always, and they're going...
They make these funny signs.
-But sometimes they don't seem to make a sign at all.
It is a fine art, as you'll see.
-Good to see you both.
-Oh, my gosh. Oh, hello.
-I love the colours.
-Oh, thank you. You look fabulous.
Are you excited or nervous?
-A bit nerve-racking.
-Yeah, we had a little chat about it in the car.
And you might have just the right eccentric audience here.
-That's what Nigel thinks.
Well, let's go and see how eccentric they are, shall we?
I didn't think our stuff was eccentric.
Nigel thinks it's very eccentric.
-Does that make us eccentric?
-Yeah, I think!
-We don't know.
TIM: Our teams' treasures will be going under the hammer
at High Road Auctions,
and David Holmes is the man with the gavel.
So what does he make of our celebrities' lots?
The little Charles desk and chair. Super little lot.
It has got a West Bromwich maker on it.
I rather like that lot.
I think as a favourite this week...
Do you know, it might even be the bicycle.
It's different, isn't it? It's quirky and it's a bit of fun.
I think that...that might do quite well.
Nigel and Margie spent £253 on five auction lots...
..while Sally and David forked out a bit more,
spending £303 on their five lots.
Our teams are taking their seats in the saleroom,
and it is a busy one with buyers in the room and online.
-I've got a really itchy nose.
Oh, you've just bought it, well done.
A pair of Troika vases.
TIM: Hey, keep your hands down cod your lot is up first, Sally.
It is the View-Master, complete with the selection of reels.
At £20 with the internet. I'll take five in the room.
-'I've got a bit of £20. I have it with the internet.'
The gentleman is urging you on there.
'Bid me five on it.'
Do something about it!
At £20 only.
I'll take five in the room. I'm selling to the internet then.
-It is here to be sold.
£30 with the internet. I'll take five again.
-'It's all happening on the internet.'
At £30 only.
It's on the internet then. I think we are done. It has got to be sold.
Done at 30.
-That's a great start.
That is a great start. I was worried about that one.
Nice little earner there to kick things off for Sally and David.
Can Nigel and Margie's Murano vase make them some money?
-We've got to get quite a large margin.
We are worrying already.
They're getting really worried, these two.
Bid me £20 for it. It must be worth 20.
It is 1950s, madam, any good to you?
£20, the lady's bid there.
'Take five again.'
At £20. 25 with the gentleman, madam. 30.
Are you sure? It's cheap, isn't it?
28, can we tempt you with that? £30, sir.
30 bid. Two again.
It's only money. £32, madam. Are you sure?
You'll regret it later. £30, the gentleman's bit behind you.
'I'll take two on it.'
Last chance. I've got that gentleman's bid at the back.
32 on the internet.
-There you go.
-'I'll take 35 in the room.'
Are you sure? At £32, the bid is with the internet.
I need five in the room. Selling with the internet. Are we done?
It is selling at 32.
-Down a bit.
We've taken a slight...a slight hit.
A bit of a hit.
I took a bath, as they say.
The Venetian vase hasn't proved too popular in the saleroom.
I wonder if an oak gramophone will fare a bit better.
Margie, would you like to hear it?
If you think I'm going to help you sell your gramophone...
Nigel, would you like to hear the gramophone?
And there it is over there.
Would you like to bid on it?
No, could we play it for you?
Of course you can. Wind it up.
-'Who would like to try that?'
-Oh, would you mind?
-'Not at all.'
There we go, they're working it!
This is the oak case gramophone.
-It's in lovely working order.
-I'm hoping it doesn't work.
'I hope for your sake it is now, guys. And we have a collection
'of 78 RPM records with it.'
We'll just enjoy the moment.
The lovely letter R, a wonderful present for someone called Rebecca.
It takes you right back to 1910.
David, this is rather pitiful.
Listen, I'll do anything to sell something.
I'll start dancing in a minute.
TIM: Will this pair stop at nothing?
I've never had any dance lessons.
We'll come and do this in your house.
Or not, as you prefer.
We might have to pay you, of course.
Thank you, everybody. Thank you!
In working order. There must be at least 28, 30 78 RPM records.
-There's got to be 30 in the box, hasn't there?
-Yes, think there is.
Yeah, there's about 30 in the box. We're selling those with it.
We should ask you 100, but I'm going to start straight in at £50
-Oh, you're too kind.
-I'll take 55.
At 50, the bid is on commission.
I'll take five on the internet.
'Come along, guys, don't be so mean.'
Bid me 55. Bid is 65, bid.
£70, sir. Thank you. It is still cheap.
I'll take five on the internet.
'The bid in the room, at £70 only.'
We need more than that!
'I'll take 75 on the internet.'
Anybody else want a bit of history there?
It's all up and running. 75 with the internet. £80, sir.
£80, it's cheap.
It is cheap.
£80. At £80, I have the gentleman here. I need five on the internet.
Any other interest in the room? It is selling. Are we done?
You're out online. Done at 80.
-Well, that's on paper of fiver, but it is a loss...
-..if you take into account for the commission.
-That is a loss.
But very well performed, I must say.
-And you well danced.
That may be a small loss after commission,
but someone's got a good deal there.
Will Nigel and Margie's Hindu god see their luck change?
'£20 for it. £20 for this one.'
Very decorative. Thank you, sir. Bid me five at the back of the room.
-Oh, you're in.
-'Who's bidding on this lot?'
At 25. 30. 35?
£30, your bid, sir. I'll take five on the internet.
The gentleman is bidding here at £30 only.
Done, selling at 30...
-Made a profit.
-Well done, Dubble Bubbled.
TIM: Nigel loved it,
and it looks like someone else did too.
Nice profit there.
Next up, it is Sally and David's wounded warrior.
Bid me £20 for it.
'It's cheap at that, isn't it? £20 for it.'
-Come along, 20. Thank you, sir. I'll take five again.
'I'll take 25 on the internet.'
He's got a hipster beard
and gladiator sandals,
all the latest fashion accessories.
-There you go. That's handsome bit did...
'I'll take five again, madam.'
35? It's cheap.
35, thank you. £40, sir.
He's got a helmet that makes it look like he's got metal ears.
TIM: Gosh, she's right.
At £35 only. Any bids with the internet?
And a meringue-shaped helmet.
Are we done? It's selling at 35 to the room.
-Rasselas takes Ganesh.
'And lot number seven...'
Sally's help sure worked. What a fantastic profit.
These two are getting annoying, aren't they?
What do you mean GETTING annoying?
You ARE annoying!
Now, now, children, let's see if you
and Nigel can play catch-up with your Art Deco lamp.
£20 for that. Let's get it started at something. Thank you, madam.
Take five again, internet.
At £20 only. I'll take five bid.
30. Five again, sir.
£35. 40, madam.
-There is no justice!
-Five again, sir?
He's got it for 40.
-Oh, come on!
-'Give me another'
five-pound bid for it.
At £40 only.
-Where's the net?
The bid is in the room this time. Done at £40 only.
-That is sad.
-That is awful.
-It's sad, yeah.
Oh, no, that's really, really bad.
Perhaps they should have tried Sally's hard-sell tactic.
The auctioneer's favourite is up next.
It's Sally and David's 20th-century bicycle.
-Can you ride a bike?
-I can ride a bike.
Could you ride the bike around here?
But can I ride the bike into all these precious things?
I'll take 60 on the bicycle.
It is a lovely lot, isn't it? At £50 only.
60 bid. 70. 80.
90. I'll take five.
-I'll take another five on it. Are you sure?
Was that a yes? 105.
At £100. I'll take 105, madam.
You won't see another one.
At £100. We'll even pump the tyres up, what do you say?
105, commission is out, it is the lady's bid at the back.
'I'll take 110 on the internet.'
I have got to say it, bear with, bear with.
At £105, it is your bid, madam.
'I'll take 110 on it.
Done at 105. Yes, Madam.
-That's very... Well done.
-Thank you. Well purchased.
Good spot, Sally. Another profit.
You're right to be nervous, Nigel.
To stay in the game,
you and Margie really need to make some money
on your 19th-century card case.
-Now, if this doesn't make a profit, I'm storming out.
'Who is going to get it started?'
This lot still has the cards.
£20 at back of the room.
-'With some period cards inside.'
-With the cards inside.
While that was all happening, we had 25 on the internet, actually.
Can I take 30 in the room?
£30 in the room. I thank you, sir. Take five, madam?
They're cheap, aren't they? £35, thank you. Bid me 40, sir.
40 bid. Take five again, madam.
At 40 only, the gentleman's bid.
They usually go for 100.
-'It's in the room,'
you are out online.
Are we done at £40 to the room?
-I mean, they go for 100.
-That's a tragedy, really.
That loss sees Sally and David's lead increase.
But their final lot is their big-ticket item -
the baluster vases.
£50, the two of them. They've got to be worth 50, surely.
Come on, guys, £50 for the two.
Online. I'll take 60 in the room.
£50. 60 I'll take in the room. I have a bid
'on the internet at £50 only.'
I'll take five in the room. They are going to be sold.
55, thank you very much, madam. I'll take 60 with the internet.
At £55. 60 bid. Five again, madam? They are cheap.
'At 60 with the internet.'
I'll take 65.
They're cheap, aren't they? 65 for the two.
You know you want to. That was the wrong answer, wasn't it?
Bid me 65 for the two.
Thank you very much. Bid me 70 on the internet.
£65 we have in the room.
70 online, madam. Take five again? The internet know a bargain,
I'm sure you're missing out.
No, it's £70, the bid with the internet.
I'll take five in the room. 75. Was that a bid? Are you sure?
She's fanning herself!
'I'll take five.'
She's just teasing now, isn't she?
At £70, the bid is with the internet.
Anybody else in the room?
They are selling online. Last chance, done at 70...
-Not double happiness.
TIM: No, more like double trouble.
-Nigel, we've got to get up and do something.
I agree. To have any chance of winning,
your mahogany desk and chair needs to impress.
Come on, Nigel, your turn to show and tell.
Boring! HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
-No, this is lovely.
-No, it's lovely.
Look at that!
-It doesn't slope. It's flat, perfect.
-Oh, he's picking it up!
And it's got a flat top...
And a brass label.
..so that children can even do their homework on it nowadays,
-when they had to do them on laptops.
-And it's mahogany.
The laptop doesn't slide off the desk.
And this is the last one today.
No, it is a lovely object from a very famous company.
Beautifully demonstrated, I've got to say.
-Go on, let's hear you start.
-Yeah, really interesting.
It was fascinating. The best I've ever heard.
£30 for it, let's get it started.
£30 on the internet.
35 is bid, sir. 40. Five again. 50 quid.
£50? You get a chair as well.
Go on, £50, sir.
-Be a sport. £50 for the lot. 50 bid. Five again.
55 with the lady.
60 with the internet. 65, madam?
65, thank you. Bid me 70 on the internet.
At £65, the bid is in the room. 70 bid. Five again, madam.
Thank you. £75, the bid in the room. I'll take 80, online bidder.
I have never seen another one. 85?
£85 is bid. I thank you. Bid me 90 on the internet.
85, the bid in the room. I'll take 90, internet buyer.
One more. You've come all this way. It's only money. £95.
Bid me 100 on the internet.
-Have you stopped smiling?
£95, it's the lady's it in the room.
I need 100 on the internet.
I think you might have it, you know. At 95, the bid is in the room.
You are out online. Selling at 95.
-Very, very well done.
Now, that is more like it. What a wonderful result.
But is it too little too late for Nigel and Margie?
OK, let's go outside and work it out.
Nigel and Margie started with £400.
After paying auction costs, sadly,
they made a loss today of £58.66.
So they end the trip with £341.34.
Bless them. Nice-looking couple.
Sally and David also kicked off with £400,
and they made a slightly smaller loss of £40.60 after auctioning costs.
This means they finish with £359.40.
So they are crowned today's winners.
-The Ganesh team...
-..lost about £60.
The Rasselas team lost about...£40.
So we are the winners!
Rasselas takes it!
But it has been a brilliant experience.
-Thank you so much for coming.
You have been a great team-mate.
-Really enjoyed your company.
-Listen, jump in your classic for the last time.
-Yeah, good luck.
-Enjoy yourself. See you.
-Off we go.
-Oh, it's sad.
-I know. Good journey.
-Yeah, it was.
Well, that was a really great experience.
It was incredible, wasn't it?
-And will you ever buy furniture in a shop again?
-No, I'm definitely going to the auction again.
-Yeah, it is.
Hurrah! Another two celebrity converts.
My work here is done.
And until next time, fare thee well.
Two stars of British comedy drama take to the road. The Young Ones' Nigel Planer challenges Sally Phillips of Miranda and Smack the Pony fame to an antiques duel. They shop around Oxfordshire, Somerset and Gloucestershire, before heading for a London auction.