Clare Grogan and Alex Norton Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

The nation's favourite celebrities...

-Oh, I like that.

-..paired up with an expert...

-Oh, we've had some fun, haven't we?

-..and a classic car.

It feels as if it could go quite fast.

Their mission, to scour Britain for antiques.

-Yes!

-Fantastic.

-I'll do that in slow-mo.

The aim, to make the biggest profit at auction.

-Come on, boys!

-But it's no easy ride.

-Da-da!

-Who will find a hidden gem?

-"Don't sell me!"

-Who will take the biggest risks?

-Go away, darling!

-Will anybody follow expert advice?

-I'm trying to spend money here.

-There will be worthy winners...

-Yes!

-..and valiant losers.

Put your pedal to the metal, this is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip!

Yeah!

Today we're in Glasgow to start antiquing in the company of old pals

and showbiz icons Clare Grogan and Alex Norton.

I love the car.

It's so cool, isn't it? My dad used to have one of these.

-No, really?

-I don't know if I'm ready to talk and

drive at the same time!

Our Scottish celebs are pootling along the streets of their hometown

in this rather smart 1968 Triumph Herald.

When was it we were in Gregory's Girl?

I always think it's, like, you know, ten minutes ago.

-It wasn't, was it?

-It wasn't!

It was 1981, Alex.

And not only was it in the year our new antiquers met on the set of cult

hit film Gregory's Girl,

but it was also when Clare shot to pop stardom as Altered Images

clocked up their first two top ten hits.

# I could be happy

# I could be happy. #

Since then, she's starred in comedies like Red Dwarf and dramas

such as EastEnders.

The name of this

show should actually be Antique

Celebrity Road Trip, don't you think?!

What are you saying?! I'm still young!

Performer pal Alex is an actor and director who is best known for the

eight years he spent as steely detective Matt Burke in crime drama

-Taggart.

-We can put them away.

All we need is your statement, you'll be protected.

-Do you think I'm stupid or something?

-You need our help!

Alex has graced a host of roles on

big and small screens from Shetland and

Local Hero to Pirates Of The Caribbean and Two Doors Down.

Time to call action on their shopping adventure!

I keep on saying to everyone I love a rummage.

But I'm not an expert.

I mean, certain things interest me, but I'm not going to tell you.

-I'm not giving anything away!

-Oh, I see, it's started, hasn't it!

I don't want you stealing my ideas.

Oh, you see, I thought we were going to be, like, cooperative, but no!

Why change a habit of a lifetime?

Indeed, let's be competitive.

The gloves are off. The gloves are off.

And I'm going to give you a sound thrashing.

Because I know a wee bit about antiques.

You've always been all talk!

Our dramatic double act will have

£400 each to spend and will be in

the capable hands of our very own tartan twosome,

auctioneers Anita Manning and Paul Laidlaw,

who are negotiating the streets of Glasgow in this 1970s Citroen DS 20.

Seriously, Clare Grogan!

If you'd told me when I was a wee teenager, "You know, one day, Paul..."

I'd have said, "Behave yourself!"

-Oh, wow.

-She's amazing!

Are you going to be dumbstruck?

Are you going to go back to being like a wee boy?

I could just be standing there like that.

"Paul, back to antiques!"

Time for our expectant experts to meet their new showbiz chums.

-Watch out!

-Hiya!

-Hello!

Hiya, guys.

You're a wee bit like Lady Penelope there, Clare!

I am totally.

Penelope Pitstop, eat your heart out! How are you doing?

Terrific.

-Do you like?

-Am I driving that?

If you want, it's all yours.

-Lovely to see you.

-We've had a wee blether.

-Yes.

-About who's going to have who.

He is going to have Clare because he fancies Clare!

You're a very, very bad woman!

We're holding hands already!

I'm going to have you, because I fancy you!

So it's going to be you and me in the car?

We are in this because we are sleek and sophisticated.

-We are, aren't we?

-Righty-o, then.

Let's get this show on the road.

Journey of a lifetime!

This is going to be a big adventure!

I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

Today we're giving our Scottish icons a wee treat

as they start their

journey off in their hometown of Glasgow.

They'll then roam around the country for nearly 250 miles in search of

some antique treasures before wandering south

for an auction in Ayr.

So, Alex, here we are.

The beginning of a big antiques adventure.

-Isn't it great?

-It's great.

I hope it isn't going to be murder!

I haven't heard that for a while!

I know! They say the old ones are the best.

Do you mean us?

Well, I'm excited.

And so you should be!

I'm always a bit excited, mind you!

Is that your approach to life?

"I'm doing the shopping, I'm excited!"

Nice, nice. Am I distracting you already?

-Oh, darling!

-Eyes on the road, Paul!

Time to focus on some shopping.

And today's adventure begins at Glasgow City Antiques.

-This is it.

-Let's see what's going to happen.

Let's do it, come on.

They specialise in furniture,

but I don't think Clare and Paul will struggle to find a variety of

antiques around here.

Wow! I'm already seeing things I love.

There's got to be some treasures in here.

What treasure? I've not seen your taste.

Oh, I know. It's quite muddled up, my taste.

-OK!

-This should be fun!

You know, my husband always says I'm the only person that can barter

down... Upwards!

Barter upwards when I'm trying to barter.

He's always going, "Is that all?

"Are you sure that's all you want for this?"

So if I start any of that, nip it in the bud.

Clare, Clare, Clare!

The jackets are off, it's time to get serious.

-The balloon!

-Maybe not.

-That is so silly.

-What now?

I kind of like these sort of sets of glasses.

Do you think it's overdone?

I've only got one problem with those.

What kind of a glass is that?

-Sherry?

-Problem.

You see, sherry's coming back in fashion.

-Is it?

-Yes.

-Is it?

Surely you know that, Paul.

A guy as fashionable as me, with these threads on?

Come on, Paul, get with it!

It's got a decanter as well, you're kidding me.

-There's a decanter.

-So that's £45.

And look at that with the thistle on it.

I thought we were just looking at glasses.

But it's this and this.

The glasses are better than the decanter.

You know how good these are,

the artisan cared enough to sign them.

-That's special.

-I love these.

So do I. So is that a contender?

-Yeah, what do you think?

-I love it.

-The ticket price is £45.

What can you do with that, Clare?

Try to get it south of 45. South of 45.

-Not up!

-No, not up, not up.

Are you sure you only want £45 for this?!

-I'll give you more!

-Do you know they're signed?!

Yes! Don't let me do any talking!

Negotiation by mime, perhaps.

Sally's in charge today.

-Hello.

-Hiya, how're you doing?

-I'm good, thank you.

-How can I help?

Well, I spotted these lovely glasses.

-Oh, right.

-They're not lovely, you just spotted these glasses.

-Clare.

-I just spotted these ordinary glasses.

-Good start!

-These glasses seem OK to me!

Nothing more than that.

Nothing more than that.

Clare's offered £30.

Let's see if Sally can talk the owner into it.

-Fingers crossed.

-He'll go for 30.

-He-hey!

-Yay!

-High five!

-Probably the biggest discount he's ever given!

Well, that was quick. Well done, you two.

Now, while this pair continue their search,

Anita and Alex seem to be stuck in a little traffic.

I heard that you bought a watercolour, unsigned,

but it was by somebody of some significance?

It was. I just saw it in an auction in London on the wall and thought,

"That looks like it's been painted by somebody who really knows what

"they're doing."

I took it down to one of the big auction houses in London

and they said it's a William Henry Hunt.

-Wow.

-Who, I have to say, I'd never heard of before.

-Wow!

-But it's worth a hell of a lot more than I paid for it!

But what that's shown you, Alex, is that you've got an eye.

You've got an eye.

My partner's got an eye!

Laidlaw, look to your laurels!

While you celebrate, Anita, Paul and Clare are shopping up a storm.

-This?

-On Red Dwarf, that would just

about qualify as some sort of ray gun.

It would have, definitely!

That's crazy!

1930s vacuum cleaner.

What looks like some sort of marble, Bakelite-type composition.

That's Bakelite, for sure.

And there's a touch of the Art Deco about that.

-It's fun, isn't it?

-No money, £35.

I mean, I've got to say, it's a museum piece.

What on earth are you going to do with it?

But what an object.

-Do you like?

-I do like it.

This is all going rather swimmingly.

Will Sally spoil the mood?

£35, is there a better price than that for us?

Probably 25.

-OK.

-That's one in the bag and a vacuum to think about.

Anything else?

How do you like my new friend, Clare?

Your topless new friend!

Noticed! You're right, now you mention it.

-Art Nouveau.

-Yeah, I love a bit of Art Nouveau.

Wants to be Belle Epoque.

Those halcyon days before the First World War.

-Yeah.

-So 1890, 1900, let's say.

I really do love it, but I just

can't imagine how expensive this might be.

Could be way out of budget. What do you think?

295.

-It's too rich.

-Shall we ask, though, anyway?

Bold move, Clare.

But have you fallen in love?

So you like my beautiful lady, do you?

-We love her.

-I know.

-Could you part with her?

-That's the big question.

-I will negotiate, certainly.

She's been here about 18 months.

Right.

£100?

Go on, Sally. Sally, go on, go on, go on.

-Go on, go on, Sally.

-I would do...

-..130.

-It's up to you.

-She's a bargain.

-Let's have her.

-She's a bargain.

-Thank you!

It's my pleasure.

-That's us done, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Or...

-Or?

I keep on thinking about the vacuum cleaner!

I am so with you.

It's £25 and you cannot walk past it.

No, well, we couldn't!

We loved it. We were playing with it for ages!

We didn't even have it plugged in! That's how sad we are.

-We're doing it, then?

-25?

-Yeah. Another one.

-What a start!

An Art Deco vacuum cleaner, an Art Nouveau lamp

and the glasses with decanter, all for £185.

Good luck at the auction.

Elsewhere, with Alex back in his native city,

Anita is taking him for a stroll,

or paddle, down memory lane as they step on board the Waverley,

the last seagoing paddle steamer in the world.

Permission to come aboard, sir?

Absolutely, please carry on.

-After you.

-Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Oh, I'm so looking forward to this!

It'll be great, Alex!

It's an unconventional way to get to their first shop,

but Alex and Anita are taking their very own Antiques Boat Trip down the

-River Clyde.

-When you were a wee boy,

did your folks take you "doon the watter"?

Oh, yes. We went down a lot.

Taking the Waverley down the river during the annual local holiday,

known as the Glasgow Fair,

was a tradition which is fondly remembered by our two passengers.

-Oh, the Glasgow fair!

-Glasgow stopped working!

-For a fortnight.

-Stopped working for a fortnight.

And it was time for play, and hundreds of thousands

of Glaswegians got on this very boat.

That's right.

-And went down, "doon the watter"!

-"Doon the watter"!

# Goin' doon the watter for the fair

# And so we're goin' doon the watter

# Och, we're goin' doon the watter for the fair

# We'll wind our way to Rothesay Bay... #

This paddle steamer was launched in 1946 and it evokes a lot of memories

for one Alex Norton.

This was a special treat, was to go on the Waverley down to Rothesay.

The great thing that I loved about

it was when you came past all the big

ships. You know, they were all lined up on the docks.

And you're looking at these massive behemoths, you know?

The Clyde has always been important to Scotland's largest city.

Long before Alex's childhood

holidays when the paddle steamers were at

their peak, a fifth of all the

world's ships were built on this very river.

But, while those ships went across the world,

the steamers stayed close to home,

taking passengers from the industrial city

to the fresh air and scenery

-down the river.

-We tended to go to Saltcoats.

Oh, Saltcoats! Is that a wee bit upmarket?

I don't know what it's like now!

But upmarket wouldn't quite describe it when I went there!

And we lived off boiled whelks.

-Oh, right.

-They used to grow really,

really thick around the big pipe that went into the sea.

Was it the sewage pipe?!

Of course it was! It wasn't until I

was much older that I put two and two

together! We were eating these boiled whelks.

It's a wonder we're still here!

Of course, in those days, you didn't go to Majorca,

you didn't go to any of these places.

-No.

-You went to the Clyde holiday resorts,

-or the Ayrshire holiday resorts.

-It was affordable.

I loved it! We had a great time at Saltcoats.

My dad used to say to my mum, "Get them dressed,

"were going away for the day."

-Yes!

-My mum used to get us dressed up in white Clarks sandals,

wee white kilts which she made herself.

So we would be all dressed up and we went down on the Waverley.

And I'll tell you, that was just post-war years,

my dad had just come back from the war.

-Yeah.

-When he came on the Waverley, he was proprietorial.

-Really?

-It was as if he owned the Waverley.

And he would take us down to the engine room.

Oh, see, that was the big thing, wasn't it?

-That was the big thing.

-That was the huge thing on the Waverley,

down to see the engines.

-Will we go and see it now?

-Let's go.

-Let's go and see.

Come on, come on!

Generations have marvelled at the

size and power of the engines that drive the two paddle wheels.

I am eight years old again!

I'm eight years old, standing here.

Just being completely mesmerised by the engines.

To step aboard the Waverley is to

recall thousands of childhood memories,

of days on the beach,

ice creams and fish teas and to remember a time when the chance to

escape city life meant a trip "doon the watter".

And what holiday would be complete

without a quick trip to the gift shop?

-The flags are beautiful.

-Flags are lovely, aren't they?

The red Ensign, which will have flown at the stern of the ship.

That was actually flown on the stern of the ship?

-Yeah.

-I want to get one of these.

-This is a bit of the Waverley!

I think somebody will want this.

-Is it in good condition?

-It's in reasonable condition.

-Can we have a look?

-Yeah, have a look.

-Open it out.

-Oh, I love flags, don't you, Alex?

I do, actually.

Look at that. Oh, look at that!

It's a wee bit raggedy-taggedy.

But you know what, that's character, isn't it?

-Authenticity. Adds character.

-Authentociousness!

What do you normally sell these for?

Normally we'd sell these between £40 and £50.

Depending on the condition.

Well, we've got some condition issues there.

Yeah, condition issues.

-I mean, you know...

-We've got condition issues.

Yes. I'm going to make you an offer.

Now, I'm willing to take this off your hands...

..for 25 quid.

I think we'd be looking for a bit more than that for it.

I think memorabilia from the Waverley is a

very good thing to have. I'm willing to go to 30.

How about that? And that's your oldest, tattiest one.

-If we do it for 30, you've got a deal.

-Yeah, deal.

-Done.

-Oh!

-Fantastic. Fantastic.

-That's great.

-Thank you.

-We wanted a bit of the boat.

That's so good, because he wouldn't sell me the wheel!

You know, I wanted that, really.

He wouldn't be able to guide the boat if you bought it!

We'd manage somehow! Right, thank you very much.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes!

Alex, that is your first buy!

-Did you enjoy it?

-I loved it.

And you know what?

I love it so much...

..I'm going to wear

-it! Look at that.

-Prince Alex, the Prince of Antiques!

Yes! Thank you, my liege.

Pleasure doing business with you.

That unexpected find gets their shopping up and running.

Elsewhere, Clare and Paul have

guided the Triumph Herald 20 miles east to

the village of Newhouse, where Greenside Antiques awaits.

-Hey!

-How's that?

-Perfect!

-No pressure, Clare.

-Absolutely not.

-Three things in the bag.

-We are sorted!

Glad you're both relaxed!

This seems the perfect spot for a gentle browse around.

Have you seen anything?

Well...

I'm still looking, I think.

I'm always a bit drawn towards the Clarice Cliff stuff.

Or is everybody so over it?

But it really just reminds me of my mum and dad's little display cabinet

at home, because as wedding presents they got a number

of Clarice Cliff things.

Clarice Cliff was the designer whose bold patterns helped create

some of the most iconic and now

collectable ceramics of the 20th century.

I've got a problem with that.

A/F - As Found.

And what it's telling us is that there is an issue.

And if you look closely, there is at least one chip at the back,

-you see it?

-Oh, I do see it.

If you see A/F on a label, it's warning you.

And it's a very fair way of doing business.

Yeah. It's pretty, though, isn't it?

It is, it is, it is.

What are the odds there is any more Clarice Cliff in the building?

I think there's...

Did I see a coffee...? Am I making that up?

No. It might have been somewhere else I saw it.

Let's leave them to rummage and take a peek at Anita and Alex.

As they wave farewell,

their jaunt on the river has left them in the village of Kilcreggan.

And just a stroll down the pier is Kilcreggan Antiques.

This former boatyard is crammed with interesting items.

And here to meet them is owner Roo.

Hi, hello.

Oh, it's lovely to meet you.

Well, it looks beautiful.

Everything sparkly and gorgeous.

Sounds promising!

Alex, isn't it so exciting, all this stuff?

All this stuff, I know.

Give me a shout if you see anything you like.

Actually, my eye's just fallen on this.

My missus has got a lovely mirror like this, and it's a family heirloom.

And that's a wee set, look.

And you can see there's a bit of quality there.

It's attractive, isn't it? The wood's lovely on that.

-When you look at it...

-Bevelled mirror.

-The bevelled...

The bevelled... You've got all the jargon!

You've got all the jargon. Because that's important.

That requires work.

-That's right, exactly.

-That requires work.

I think Alex might be rather good at this!

These do sell in auction.

But the ones that get best money are the ones that are in cases.

-Ah, yes.

-A fitted case.

-Yes, yes.

-Or ones that are silver or enamelled.

Something to think about.

What else takes your fancy?

This picture. I like portraits.

-Yes, I do too.

-And I think this one is rather well done,

I think it's somebody who knows what they're doing.

I don't think it's an amateur kind of daubing.

-I agree with you.

-That's a striking portrait.

It has a certain amount of quality.

There's something about the eyes, they're really kind of vivid,

-aren't they?

-It's a nice thing.

You've been lucky with pictures before.

I have been lucky with pictures before.

You know what, I'm going to keep that in reserve.

-I'm going to think about that one.

-Keep that in reserve.

Now, here's a wee thing.

It was priced up at 130.

-Yeah.

-Then it went to 95.

And then it went to 80.

And now it's at 70.

So that means that it's been here for a while.

For a wee while.

Looks like Anita spies a deal!

Good find, Alex.

Now, how are things going in the search for Clarice Cliff?

-There.

-Oh, Rhodanthe pattern.

-It's lovely.

-It just reminds me of my mum and dad's so much.

There's just something lovely about thinking I can keep going with this

Clarice Cliff story in my life.

I have noticed, though, that it does

have that A/F thing on that you spoke

-to me about.

-This is...

I think we need to get in there and find out exactly what A/F means.

Sounds like a job for owner Alan.

The coffee service has an £85 ticket price.

So where's the damage?

-On the lid.

-I see.

We have a couple of wee dings there.

The pot itself is good.

And the two cups have small damage, one's got a wee crack on it.

I'm pretty sure... Yeah, a tiny, tiny line there.

So, is there anything that can be done with the £85 asking price?

As they're damaged, I'd help you along, I'd make that £40 for you.

Sorry, we're rubbish at poker!

-£40!

-All right, £90!

Now you're talking!

That's more Clare's style!

We know what we're doing here, don't we?

I think so. Yeah?

Yes, £40.

It's a deal.

Thank you, Alan.

Thanks to Alan's generosity,

that's a £45 discount for the Clarice Cliff coffee service.

Are you sure?

No!

Clare, Clare, enough.

Quit while you're ahead, eh, Clare!

Back at Kilcreggan, Anita has her eye on something else.

There's a wee, wee, wee, tiny purse here.

-Sounds small, then.

-It's a souvenir from the Glasgow exhibition probably

of 1911.

Edwardian. It's having a wee look at Art Nouveau.

There's a wee bit of Art Nouveau about it.

And you open this wee clasp here...

..and there's a wee compartment.

Right? And it shows you images of buildings of that time.

Oh, look at that! At the exhibition.

-Yeah.

-The exhibition of 1911 was a six-month-long fair.

Impressive buildings were assembled just for the event,

which attracted over nine million visitors.

I love that. I think that's great.

Well, don't say it too loud, because Roo's standing here!

Oh, right enough. No, it's terrible.

-Let's not bother.

-The period, I know that you like Arts and Crafts.

Well, it's around about that period as well.

-That's perfect.

-It's been a cheap souvenir of the exhibition.

It would be a wee reminder.

Something affordable that you could take back.

It was in 1911 but is it still affordable?

The price I had on that was 24.

-Right.

-But...

..I could do it for...

How about 16?

I'd be happier if we got it for 12.

Well, charm offensive, Alex.

I really like it but I don't think it's going to make a lot more,

-if any more, at auction.

-Is there anything else

that you've seen here that we could maybe make a little bundle of?

That's a possibility, too.

Time to have another look at that portrait.

It's priced at £70.

I keep getting drawn back to this portrait.

-It's mesmerising.

-It's kind of mesmerising.

I think it's done with a good hand.

The thing about it, it's been there for a certain amount of time.

It hasn't sold although it has quality, Roo.

-Yes.

-The fact that it is a portrait.

A good-looking guy, not an old, ugly guy.

-A very fine-looking chap.

-He's nice. He's fanciable.

I tell you,

if I could get that for 30 I would be very happy with that to take that

-off your hands.

-Bold move, that, Alex.

How about 14 for the Glasgow purse and 30 for that?

-Can't have your cake and eat it.

-Yeah. That sounds good to me.

-I think that's...

-Let's do it.

-Yes, I think that's great.

That's smashing. These two things are lovely things.

Well done, you two. That generous

discount gets you the silver souvenir

purse and the portrait and your shopping for today is done.

Thank you. All the best.

Time for a well-earned rest for everyone.

Nighty-night.

A new day and a chance to reflect.

So how did you get on yesterday?

I'd be a little bit worried if I was you.

Ah, well, that may be.

Everything we bought I'd have in my house.

-Really?

-Oh, no.

I'm feeling very confident today.

You really think you've cracked it, don't you?

I know I've cracked it.

You really think you're on the home straight now and

it's all yours for the taking.

-Just you wait.

-I don't think so, Mr Norton.

No.

Yesterday, Alex and Anita bought a flag from the Waverley,

a pastel portrait and a silver souvenir purse...

I love that. I think that's great.

..leaving them with a rather grand £326 in their pocket...

-Bye-bye.

-..while Clare and Paul have a haul comprising an Art Nouveau lamp,

the sherry glasses and decanter, an Art Deco vacuum cleaner and the

Clarice Cliff coffee service.

Are you sure?

All of that leaves them with £175 left to spend.

How did your day with the gorgeous Clare go yesterday?

Don't put it that way.

At the end of the day she said,

"It feels like we're setting up home

"and just buying bits that we need for around the house." Too relaxed.

Did your wee heart glow?

-How was it with Alex and you?

-What a time we had.

Should I be worried?

Well...

What's to worry about on a lovely day like today?

-Absolutely.

-Well, exactly, Anita.

All will be resolved later at an auction in Ayr.

For now our teams are headed to the Perthshire town of Doune.

Here they come.

Yay!

Clare was just complaining about you two keeping the talent waiting.

Blame Laidlaw.

How are you doing?

We are going to have another lovely day.

Shall we go? Shall we to it?

Are we not going to the same place?

-It's a race!

-Hurry up!

Hurry up! We'll get there before they get the bargains.

-Losers!

-Stalled the car like you always do.

He's stalled it. Too much pressure!

-Burn rubber, Alex.

-Let's do this.

Slow and steady, chaps, that's the way.

Now, how is everyone feeling about the day ahead?

Superficially we're really relaxed and just buying

-charming little things that just talk to us.

-Yeah.

Just underneath that relaxed veneer there is a machine at work.

Ruthless.

We're going to have you,

-Norton.

-You're going down, Manning!

Ah, fighting talk.

I'd expect a more considered approach in the other car.

What do you fancy buying?

I want to get something... I love the stuff we've got.

I'd like to get something that's

just, I don't know, a bit more pizzazz.

Something of substance.

Arts and Crafts. If I can see any Arts and Crafts stuff,

I'll be after that.

Well, you'd better get a move on.

You're sharing your next shop and first to arrive it's team Grogan and

-Laidlaw.

-No Citroen.

No sign of them.

That's it. All the bargains are ours.

Let's get in there and grab all the best stuff before they get here.

Grab away, chaps. Grab away.

All ours.

Oh, no. Do you know what that's worth at auction?

£20, £25, I would say.

Put it back, Clare. Put it back.

I think maybe we do have to put our little hats on that make us think

we've got to go for a killing here.

-A wee banker?

-Yes, that's over to you.

-No pressure.

-Thanks for that.

-Because I'll just buy all this silly stuff.

A weight just appeared on my shoulders.

They made it before us.

Better late than never.

I hope they're not blagging all the good stuff.

Oh, no, don't worry. They haven't got a clue what they're looking for.

Quick.

Stand by, everyone.

Do you need any help?

Not that we'd give it, let me tell you right now.

-So have you seen anything?

-Like we'd tell you.

Maybe, maybe not.

We'll get no help here. We have to do this on our own.

We can do it.

It will make the pleasure of beating them all the sweeter.

-Right.

-We'd better get serious.

There is just so much stuff.

Too much. I feel myself getting kind of blinded by it.

-Anita, Anita.

-It's the Waverley.

-You're not going to believe it.

-Oh, wow.

Are we going for profit or being pretty chilled?

They're not chilled. Seriously. They're on a mission to win this.

# You take the high road and I'll take the low road

# And I'll be in Scotland before you. #

That's bravado. It's born of fear, I'm telling you.

-Do you think? I'm not sure.

-I'm not sure either.

-This is bravado.

-I'm worried.

And maybe you should be.

Looks like they've spotted something shiny.

Isn't that gorgeous?

-That is gorgeous.

-A wee medieval chest.

-I love the shape.

-The shape is terrific.

And I like the motif here, the ships, the wee boats.

That's right. Well, we're into boats at the moment.

What's the price on that? It's 165 they're asking for it.

That's not too bad.

These pieces are popular just now and they are handmade,

handcrafted pieces.

Even if I get a wee bit of money off it,

do you think I could turn a profit on that in the auction?

There is every possibility.

Sounds like the trinket box is a contender.

-Anything else?

-I just noticed this as we came in here.

Did you see this here?

It just looks great.

And again it's going back to that medieval look.

That's right. Handmade, hand hammered.

Everything was made by somebody and not stamped in a machine.

-I know.

-That's nice. 79 quid.

-Not that expensive.

-It's not a lot of money.

The question is,

-I

-like it, would people hang that on their wall?

That's the big question, Alex.

That's the copper charger plate and trinket box to mull over.

Now how are the others getting on across the shop floor?

Look, I found something.

That is a free blown glass fishing float, OK?

It's of no great consequence.

Charming object but what are you going to do with it?

But behold.

Hand enamelling. There is some age to that.

I put it to you that that is 19th century.

It's honestly magical.

Do you know, my heart skipped a beat.

Talk me through this bit.

This is the badge of the Cameronians,

the Scottish Rifles, a regiment of the British Army.

What the link is between the Cameronians and a fishing float,

frankly I've got no idea.

It's a conundrum but a charming conundrum.

It's got poetry to it, hasn't it?

£300.

28.

I kid you not, two digits, £28.

-Seriously?

-We've got to have it.

Sounds like you should seek out someone in charge.

Time for a chat with Shirley.

-Hello there.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-I'm fine, thank you, how are you?

Well, we're pretty good now.

We are excited.

-What have you found?

-Bizarre thing.

We've got the fishing float, the Cameronians, we love.

We like the price tag but is there a slight bit to be taken off that?

Oh, well. I can do 26.

-26 works for me. Yes?

-Let's do it.

-I've got the money.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

That was quick. £26 agreed and another deal done.

Over in Arts and Crafts corner,

there's a ticket price of £165 on the trinket box and £79 on the

copper plate. Shopkeeper Peter has the vendor on the phone.

Ed, hello.

Well, this won't take long because

you'll be so delighted with my haggling

that we'll get this done quickly.

Now if we could get the two of them for a decent price,

I'm thinking of 120 for the box and I'm thinking

of 45 for the charger.

No chance? OK, well,

tell me the lowest price you'd be prepared to let it go for.

150. A-ha.

60? You see, the thing is I've got to make a profit on this when I sell

them otherwise I'll lose the whole thing.

I know you do as well and I want us both to go home happy.

205?

I'll give you 200 for the two.

-OK, it's done. Fantastic.

-Yes!

Good for you. All the best.

Thanks again. Goodbye now. Goodbye.

Top work, Alex.

I think I could learn a wee bit about haggling from you, my darling.

That works out as £145 for the trinket box

and £55 for the copper plate.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

Meanwhile Clare and Paul are headed south towards Stirling,

an ancient capital city that sits dramatically on the crossroads of

the Scottish Highlands and Lowlands.

They're at Stirling Castle to hear the incredible story of one of the

most ambitious restoration projects in Britain,

to produce a tapestry that would bring a 16th-century

palace back to life.

Brian Gibson, a steward at the castle, is

on hand to unravel the tale.

So, Brian, what original tapestries were

we recreating in 2002 and why?

Well, it was part of the overall restoration programme at the castle.

We recreated the interiors of the

royal palace of King James V of Scots.

James V was crowned King of Scotland at Stirling Castle in 1513,

where nearly 30 years later he built a grand palace in honour of his

French Queen, Marie de Guise.

And he filled it with every luxury of the day.

We know the numbers of tapestries

and so we wanted to recreate tapestries

to hang in his rooms.

This set was chosen because they matched his descriptions in his

inventories, a set of tapestries known as The History Of The Unicorn.

The exact design of this tapestry is unknown but the weavers at Stirling

attempted to recreate what might

have hung from the walls of the palace

using traditional methods,

a painstaking project that would last for over a decade.

I'm very interested in tapestry because my

great-grandmother created some

really beautiful tapestry but I have absolutely no idea about the process

of that and it seems incredibly complicated to me.

Well, we've gone back to the

original medieval methods and techniques to

recreate these tapestries as closely as possible to the way they would

originally have been made 500 years ago.

And it's basically a simple process of weaving coloured threads through

plain white threads,

but to create something as complex in design as these tapestries are,

it becomes a very complex process.

And how many weavers were involved in this whole project?

Well, we'd have three weavers working at a time on the loom,

and then through the course of the project, which took 13 years,

there were almost 20 weavers involved.

How much are they producing per hour or per day?

Not very much at all.

About that much in a day.

What?

Extraordinary patience.

An extraordinary project altogether,

of you think this is the first time since the Middle Ages anyone has

attempted to make a whole set of tapestries in the authentic medieval

methods and techniques, and it's certainly the biggest project of

this kind ever done in Britain.

Because of the skill and labour required,

tapestries were the preserve of the very rich.

King James himself had around 100 tapestries.

His palace was a grand Renaissance affair and these

magnificent works of art were a symbol of power and wealth.

Visitors were supposed to be awestruck by the splendour of their

surroundings, and with the new tapestries now lining the walls,

that sense of wonder can be felt once again.

Well, here we are in the royal palace

in the Queen's Inner Hall

with tapestries hanging on the walls all around us,

showing the magnificence of the palace of the King and the Queen.

Honestly, when I came through that door, I felt teary.

I really genuinely felt quite overwhelmed.

I'm shocked at how colourful it is here.

We almost think of that as the Dark Ages.

I don't know. And I'm quite surprised,

genuinely surprised, by the extent of the colour...

-Yes.

-..and pattern.

I think at that time probably no-one in Scotland would have

seen anything like it

unless they'd been to France, because

that was where the ideas were coming from.

The complexity of the panels is astonishing and the story and

meaning within each tiny detail

would have been clear to a 16th-century audience.

The seven panels in this tapestry tell the story of a hunt.

Some suggest it's a story of beguiled lovers.

To others, the unicorn represents innocence, purity and healing,

leading many to regard the work as a biblical tale with the unicorn as a

Christ figure. Regardless of the hidden meaning,

the beauty of the panels is clear for all to see.

It's just so funny because I never

think of the Scots as being show-offs,

apart from myself, obviously. I'm the world's biggest show-off.

-But there was someone came before me.

-James V certainly was.

James V's palace was bold and ostentatious.

And thanks to this spectacular restoration project,

visitors can experience the beauty

of these tapestries and see what life

in a king's palace was like nearly 500 years ago.

Further north, Alex and Anita have been back on the road and have made

their way to Rait in Perthshire.

They've arrived at their final stop of the trip, Rait Antique Centre.

Lovely!

-Hi, folks.

-Hello.

-Lovely to be here. I'm Anita.

This is my sidekick.

I'm Alex. How are you doing?

-Nice to meet you.

-Everything looks lovely.

-It does, doesn't it?

-All right?

-His eyes are glowing.

-Feel free to have a good look around.

The radar's going.

-Let's go and have a hunt.

-Get stuck in.

-Come on.

There's an eclectic mix of antiques and vintage items.

Being a top thespian,

it's no surprise that a theatre poster has caught the actor's eye.

Oh, now! We're talking here. Anita, come here and see this.

-Look!

-Is it an old theatre poster?

It's an old theatre poster called The Streets Of Glasgow.

It's written by, according to this, Mr Dion Boucicault.

-Have you heard of him?

-Oh, yeah. He was a very famous writer.

As far as I know, he never wrote a play called Streets Of Glasgow.

I think this is a pirate production.

It happened all the time in those days because it says here at the

bottom, there's a big scene of a house on fire.

That was in one of his London productions and it was a sensation

of the age. I think they've just ripped it right off,

called it The Streets Of Glasgow and stuck it on somewhere in Glasgow.

-I've got to have this.

-Oh, you've got to have that!

You know the trouble... Look, see at the bottom!

-Not for sale.

-Ah, no!

So, the poster's a no-go.

Thankfully, he's found something else that floats his boat.

-Anita...

-A-ha.

-Come and look at this.

-Fabulous!

-Do you think we've cracked it?

-Alex...

-Look at this!

That's fabulous.

I love this. What does it say?

Oh, God! I don't want to look. I'm feared to look at the ticket.

-£80.

-£80.

We could put that with

the red ensign.

-We could, couldn't we?

-Nice spot, Alex.

The ship's compass could help make a nice nautical lot.

Time to call on David.

-David...

-Alex has found this compass.

-Has he?

-Do you know anything about it?

I don't, personally. It's not my piece.

All I know is it's a ship's compass.

-Yeah.

-I don't even know what age it is.

No. The box may - or may not - be original.

-I'm thinking that.

-Made at a later time.

I'm thinking the box might not be original.

That, I would say, is the first part of the 20th century anyway.

I would like to offer on this £60 on this.

It's not my piece.

-No.

-It belongs to Tony. But I will give him a ring.

-Would you?

-I think you may be in with a shout at that.

Good! If I could get that for 60, I'd be delighted.

David's got the vendor on the phone.

Which way's this pointing?

Tony says 60 would be acceptable and that's what you offered, so,

-I think we've got a deal.

-Tell him we have a deal.

A generous £30 discount means Alex and Anita bag the ship's compass for

60. Bravo!

We stand a really good chance of winning this.

-Do you know something?

-What?

-I think you're wonderful.

-Do you?

-Aye.

-I think you're wonderful and all.

Give us a wee hug.

And on that lovey-dovey note, our celebrities are all bought up.

Time for a spot of show and tell, methinks.

I have had an absolute ball.

I have loved it.

I don't even care if you don't like our stuff, because I love it.

I'm sure it will be wonderful. Are we going to get a look at it?

-To see the wonder.

-I think we do. I think we deserve it.

You're going to be amazed!

Oh, I say.

-Oh!

-And wait for it.

Piece de la resistance.

Paul Laidlaw.

I say, that's very, very nice.

This is a good night in and aftermath.

-We're going to start with...

-Drinks.

..sherry. It's de rigueur at the moment.

Coffee for afters. I've no idea what we're doing with that.

It's a party game. This is just another guest.

In the morning... The Hoover and ball is taken care of.

Could you tell me about your little coffee set?

Is that Clarice Cliff?

-It is Clarice Cliff.

-Oh, wow!

You've got a big name there.

We can't help but feel we'll do kind of OK

-with that.

-Of course you will.

OK. Well, you've seen ours, let's see yours.

-Shall we?

-Oh, yes. They're going to be so jealous.

I know. Careful now.

-It's so valuable.

-Let's be very, very gentle.

Oh, yeah.

Some Arts and Crafts in there.

-A-ha.

-Very nice.

-A touch of the sea?

Yes, we were on the Waverley.

-Of course.

-We have a maritime theme.

-Isn't that wonderful, Paul?

-I think it's magic.

Yeah? Are you boggled by that?

-It's a great thing.

-What's the tiny wee thing?

Now you're asking. Would you like to demonstrate?

Now, this is a tiny, tiny,

wee souvenir of the International Glasgow Exhibition of 1911.

-Uh-huh.

-Inside,

there are photographic images of

some of the buildings in the exhibition.

-That's sweet.

-That is special.

-I really like it.

-So, there we are.

It's going to be very interesting, I think,

to see what they fetch at the auction.

We've bought quite different types of things, haven't we?

OK, well, we'll see you there, then.

OK.

All very complimentary. But what do they really think?

I think we have some competition with their stuff.

-I kind of liked it.

-Would you swap?

-No.

-Anything?

-Maybe.

-The handbag...

-I loved that.

-I'm not so sure about the Hoover.

It would be a conversation piece at your dinner table.

You think you'd have a Hoover on your dinner table?

You don't need a Hoover when I'm at the dinner table.

I'll Hoover the lot.

I think it could be quite even Stevens.

I think it's there or thereabouts.

-We'll soon find out.

-Come on.

Well, not long to wait, chaps.

After a successful trek around Central Scotland,

our intrepid Road Trippers are heading south for auction in the

seaside town of Ayr.

I am slightly trepidatious about this auction this morning.

-Are you? Me too.

-Are you?

Because I was feeling quietly confident at one point...

-Me too.

-..but now I don't know.

Now it's come to the crunch, I'm not so sure.

I feel quite attached to the things I got and I really want someone else

-to love them as much as I did.

-Me too. And I hope that happens.

Thomas Callan Auctions have been in Ayr for over 80 years.

So, they should be the perfect place to find your lots a new home.

Hello.

You stole our parking spot.

No time to stand about chatting.

Let's remind ourselves of what they bought.

Clare and Paul spent a total of £251 and have five auction lots.

Anita and Alex parted with the most cash, spending £334 on five lots.

But there is only four lots in the sale.

Anita has some bad news for Alex.

The little purse with the photographs in it has been lost.

No! Oh, no.

It's so disappointing but these things happen.

-That was my favourite wee thing.

-Oh, I know.

-I loved that wee thing.

-I know.

-Do you know what the insurance estimate actually was?

Yes, I can give you the auctioneer's

insurance valuation on it and it was, wait for it, Clare, £75.

-Really?

-Really.

Which means they have a £61 profit in the bank

before the auction even starts.

But what does auctioneer

Michael Callan make of the rest of their offerings?

There's actually lots of collectors of Arts and Crafts and

decorative arts. This is a lovely copper trinket box.

I think a box like that will make about £60-90.

Pick of the bunch has got to be the Art Nouveau table lamp.

It's a great size,

it's in fair condition and it's been much admired through the viewing

-yesterday.

-Time to get settled in and get things under way.

First up is Alex and Anita's Arts and Crafts copper plate.

£40. 40 I am bid in the corner.

At 40, any advance on 45?

50. 55. 60.

It's in the corner at 60. Any advance on 60?

-Worth double, worth double.

-In the corner at 60.

All finished, then, at £60.

-Yes!

-Not a fortune!

That's a great start, clocking up a profit on their first item.

£60.

This is bringing out something in me I don't like.

We started well.

Will the good start continue with the sherry glasses and decanter?

-£20.

-Yes, come on.

20 I am bid. 20.

Any advance on 20?

-Come on.

-At 25. 30.

-Yes.

-At 30. Any advance on 30?

-They're really nice close up.

At 30. Any advance on 30?

-The closer you get to them the nicer.

-The decanter is empty,

that's the problem. At 30, any advance on £30?

In the corner at 30.

Come on, please, just a little more.

Just a little advance.

All finished, then, in the corner at 30.

With some gentle encouragement from Clare,

the glasses and decanter break even.

Look on the bright side.

Actually, there isn't one.

Never fear, time to see if your Art Deco vacuum will clean up.

60 for it? 40.

20 I am bid, then. At 20.

25? 30. 35. 40. 45. 50.

-Yes.

-55. 60. 65.

At 65.

-Any advance on 65?

-What?

-On my left at 65.

New bid at 70. At 70.

Behind me at 70. Any advance on £70?

Fair warning, behind, I am selling at £70.

Wow, the gavel goes down on an incredible profit.

That's wonderful.

-Take that. Take that.

-I am gobsmacked.

Thank you. You really like me.

Steady, Clare!

Alex and Anita's compass and flag from the Waverley are next.

£60. 60. 65. 70.

75. 80. 85. 90. 95. 100.

And ten. 120.

At 120. Seated at 120.

A wee bit of history here.

At 120. Any advance on 120?

Are you all out at 120?

-Come on, come on - up, up, up.

-Seated here at 120.

Selling at 120.

That'll do me.

That'll do me.

That is a very good profit for a little slice of history.

That's the face of relief.

I thought there was more in it than that.

That's brilliant, though.

Next up it's Clare's Clarice Cliff coffee set.

40 I am bid. At 40.

Any advance on £40? 45. 50.

55. 60. 65. 70. 75. 80. 85.

At 85. You bidding?

90 with the lady. A new bid at 90.

Any advance on 90?

All finished, then, selling at £90.

Yes. Brilliant.

Well done. Well done.

Yep, it's time to break out the victory dance.

A superb profit.

It was just so important to me, that one,

because it just... my mum, my dad,

a lot of emotion tied up in that one.

I can relax a bit now.

You relax, Clare, while Alex feels the heat of the auction.

It is the pastel portrait up next.

60 I am bid. At 60.

Any advance on 65?

70. 75. 80. 85. 90. 95. 100.

At £100.

Any advance on £100?

110, new bidder.

120. 130. 140. 150. 160.

At 160, are we all out?

Fair warning, selling at 160.

-Yes!

-I am so happy for you.

Alex, you've got a good wee eye.

That wee eye has just bagged a three-figure profit.

-Fantastic work, Alex.

-That was great.

So with Alex and Anita storming into the lead again,

the pressure falls on the glass float.

Will it be a floater or a sinker?

40, in the back of the room at 40.

Any advance on 40?

45, then. 50.

All fighting over it. 55. 60.

65.

At 65. My left here at 65.

All finished, then, fair warning at 65.

So that is a great profit that keeps them in the game.

Show me that thing, Clare. What is it?

I'm getting there.

Alex and Anita's final lot was their biggest outlay.

The trinket box is next.

60? 40?

40 I am bid, at 40.

We're in at 40. But that's a long way to go.

55. 60. 65. 70. 75. 80. 85. 90. 90, on my left at 90.

Any advance on £90?

On my left here, all finished, then, selling, then, at 90.

90.

CLARE LAUGHS

Not quite the sympathy they were looking for, Clare.

That first loss of the day puts Paul and Clare in with a shout of

winning, with one lot to go.

I am going to say fan me, fan me.

Harder.

I'm fine now, thank you.

Well, the drama is not over yet.

Clare and Paul's last lot is their Art Nouveau lamp.

One, two, three commissions, and I can start you at £10.

Is he having a laugh?

110. 110. 120. 130. 140. 150.

-This is it.

-160. 170. 180.

190. 200.

And ten. At 210.

Front here at 210.

Any advance on 210?

All finished, then, selling in the front at 210.

Clare.

A naked lady will always win in the end.

Certainly been true in my life.

-Well done, darling.

-Thank you.

Well, quite, an amazing profit, but has it won the day?

Time to find out.

-What do you think of that, then?

-What's going to happen? I do not

-know.

-Nothing in it, I'm sure.

-It's going to be close, isn't it?

Alex and Anita started off with £400.

They made a cracking profit of £80.10 after auction costs,

giving them a final total of £480.10.

Clare and Paul also started with £400,

and after costs they collected a superb profit of £130.30,

giving them a grand total of £530.30,

making them victorious today.

All profits, of course, go to Children in Need.

-Well done, darling.

-Oh, thank you.

Well done.

Congratulations.

We played a good game.

I am looking forward to going back to normal life.

Mine will never be normal again.

-Bitter.

-We all had a great time.

-What a joy that was.

-Are we all still friends?

We are all still pals, shall we go and get a cup of tea?

-Yes.

-Let's go.

-See you.

-Bye.

-Bye.

-That was magic.

-Oh, that was terrific.

Well, I have to say that was really interesting.

It was, wasn't it?

I really didn't know quite what to expect.

No, that wasn't the result I was expecting.

And dare I say it, I've even quite enjoyed being with you, Alex.

Darling, did you really?

-I quite enjoyed being with you.

-Let's not go too far.

Cheerio.