Nicki Chapman and Jules Hudson Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

-The nation's favourite celebrities...

-Ooh, I like that.

-..paired up with an expert...

-We've had some fun, haven't we?

-..and a classic car.

-It feels as if it could go quite fast.

-Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.

-Yes!

-Fantastic!

I'll do that in slow-mo.

The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

-Come on, boys!

-But it's no easy ride. Who will find a hidden gem?

-Don't sell me!

-Who will take the biggest risks?

-Go away, darling!

-Will anybody follow expert advice?

-I'm trying to spend money here.

-There will be worthy winners...

-Yes!

-..and valiant losers.

Put your pedal to the metal. This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

On today's show, we're joined by a couple of top presenting pals,

Jules Hudson and Nicki Chapman.

You know what's interesting, Nicki, I mean, we do work together.

-I think we've worked together for 10 years.

-Yeah...

-I don't even know you.

-But we've never competed, have we?

We've never competed in anything.

-We work together but we very rarely meet.

-I know it's bizarre, isn't it?

But we know each other intimately.

Ooh, I say!

Both Nicki and Jules regularly front

the hugely popular series Escape To The Country.

But before becoming a familiar face on TV,

Nicki was one of the most powerful publicists in the music industry,

representing such megastars

as the word's biggest girl band, the Spice Girls.

Nicki went from working with the famous to finding fame herself

as a judge on music talent shows Popstars and Pop Idol.

Her amazing career now spans both radio and television,

presenting on many shows,

including antipodean extravaganza Wanted Down Under.

The haggling - that's what I'm going to be looking forward to.

I think your wily smile will do a better job at negotiating than me.

-Do you think?

-Yeah, I reckon, I reckon.

Have I got a twinkle in my eye?

I think you'll walk in there and they'll say,

"Oh, my goodness me, it's Madame Chapman!"

As well as presenting Escape To The Country with Nicki,

Jules is also a writer, broadcaster,

historian, archaeologist and craftsman.

And he's a housewives' heartthrob,

who's always popping up onto our screens,

including reporting for Countryfile.

-See, I'm a bit of an old fogey.

-Are you?

I was a young fogey years ago and now I'm an old fogey.

-But I've always been a fogey and I was called Granddad at school.

-Ah!

Because I was a young fogey and, in fact,

somebody gave me The Young Fogey Handbook.

Somebody wrote that and I still have a copy of it.

This morning, our self-confessed fogey and Nicki are motoring

around Herefordshire in this iconic cream Morgan 4/4.

-This is your neck of the woods, isn't it?

-It is, yeah.

I've lived in Herefordshire now

for the last four and a half years or so.

-Beautiful countryside!

-It really is.

Unspoilt, I think, this part of the country.

It's very depopulated, that's the nice thing about it.

Is that why you moved here, cos you don't have any friends?

-Something like that!

-THEY LAUGH

On this journey,

Jules and Nicki will be joined by Road Trip regulars,

the ever-smiley Natasha Raskin

and the self-confessed grump Philip Serrell.

I'm thrilled to see you, Phil. How are you?

It's always a joy to see you. It's always a joy.

-I find that happy, smiley face so infectious.

-Really?

-I think I might smile today.

-I think you've cracked one out already.

-It's a bit early for that!

-THEY LAUGH

Crikey!

This morning, they're whizzing towards the meeting point

in this brilliant blue 1976 MGB.

What about Nicki and Jules? Is it going to be boys v girls?

Yeah, let's do that, actually. We don't do that enough.

Boys v girls. I'd like to do that.

I'd like to meet Nicki, actually, properly, cos I was a big fan

of all these Popstars and Pop Idol shows when I was a kid.

Once paired up, our teams will hit the road with £400 in their pockets.

Starting in Wormsley in Herefordshire,

they'll journey all over the county, dipping into Wales and Oxfordshire,

before finally finishing in North Finchley in London for auction.

-Here we go, look.

-Hello! Oh, they look cool!

Look at this. Are you OK getting out? Perfect.

A ladylike way of getting out. Hello. Lovely to meet you, Natasha.

-Hello, how are you?

-I'm very well, thank you.

-Are you all right?

-I think so.

-Are you unfolding yourself, mate?

-If YOU'VE got that trouble, Lord knows what I've got.

-It's tight.

-It's a little bit tight, isn't it?

-But effective. Hello, Natasha.

-Nice to see you.

-NATASHA:

-Nice to see you too.

-Boys v girls?

-Sounds good to us.

-Yes, we can do this, we can do it, Nicki!

-We're a team!

Shall we hop off?

Teamed up, it's time to hit the road.

-Which is the way in here?

-Just squeeze yourself in.

-Sorry, lads. Ooh! See ya!

-Bye! History!

-So, is Jules always that competitive?

-Oh, yeah.

-Really?

-Yeah. He's already got a strategy.

-A strategy?

Yeah, he's already got a strategy. He didn't give too much away.

-This car is intimate, isn't it?

-It's definitely intimate!

This morning, Nicki and Natasha will head to Bishopstone

in Herefordshire to kick-start their hunt for antiques.

-Have you bought at antique shops before or is it a pastime?

-I have.

-It's not a pastime, but I have done it and it went well.

-Wait a minute.

When you say it went well, does that mean your haggling went well?

Haggling was good. I do like to haggle.

Well, that's handy. First shop of this trip looks big.

Lord Nelson Antiques Centre.

Ooh, it's looking good!

Hidden inside this deconsecrated pub

are the treasures of around 20 dealers.

There's plenty to pick from.

-Hello, hi. I'm Nicki.

-I'm Richard.

-Richard, nice to meet you.

-Good morning, Richard. Tasha.

-So, this is, for Nicki and I, our first shop.

-Right.

-So, we'd better get started.

-Yeah.

-Yes.

-Shall we start at the top and work our way down?

-Let's do that.

-We're going to have to be disciplined.

-Mmm.

Game plan in place, the girls are off.

-My goodness!

-This is huge.

-There's so much choice!

-Look at this!

-Are you talking about this trunk?

-This is a piece!

£1,500!

How good are we at haggling?

I'm reckoning not THAT good! Think a bit cheaper, Nicki.

-Hairdryer.

-Is that...?

-Yeah, where would a woman be without a hairdryer?

-That'll do!

Bakelite hairdryer and case.

-Would you use this on your travels?

-Never! Beautiful though, isn't it?

You want to plug it in and see how it goes.

Apparently, it works. It's been tested.

You'd be a brave woman to get up in the morning,

have an appointment to go to and trust this piece

to get you through looking good. But it looks pretty cool

and the fact it's got its case with its mirror,

is it worth having a haggle over this?

Could be, couldn't it? Do we think the price is good?

If we could get it for £20, it could be worth it. I like this.

The Bakelite hairdryer is noted for consideration. Anything else?

Natasha, how about these vases here, this pair of Art Nouveau vases?

They are very Eastern European.

Now, while we know this style as Art Nouveau,

in the East, it was Jugendstil. It was a sort of a "young style",

so people breaking away from the more traditional 19th-century look.

-Jugendstil.

-Look at the beautiful design on these at the bottom.

-I love those!

-You've got those really organic,

almost like plants growing off the stems at the bottom.

What do we think?

First of all, straightaway here - the light just catches it -

there are some splashes of green paint on the body.

Someone has had a go at repainting

these little sort of leaves here green

and so they've managed to move their thumb or something across it

and smudge it onto the body, so not ideal.

Now, looking around, there's something at £300, £900,

£400 and then, at the back, £80.

This dealer knows that they're not worth a huge amount.

-What would you put an offer in at?

-I mean, it's got to be half price.

I don't work for less than 50%, come on!

The vases join the hairdryer on Nicki and Natasha's wish list.

Time to talk money with Richard. First, the Bakelite hairdryer.

-What can we do on the price?

-Um, what's it got on it?

-£48.

-£48.

-I'll ring the dealer.

-Can you?

-Yeah.

-Can I speak to them?

-Yeah, sure.

-Great. Right, OK.

-I hope it's a woman. You'll be fine.

-It is.

-Oh, it's a woman!

-Is it?

-Hey, Trisha, the vendor, is on the phone.

Time for Nicki to try to haggle.

What could be your best price?

We were thinking around...£25?

£27? How does that sound?

£27. I'm very happy with that. Thank you. Bye.

-Look at that! Well done!

-First purchase! We have a hairdryer!

We have a hairdryer. OK, relax. Whoo, whoo, whoo.

Are we going to continue this theme?

Nicki's on a roll.

Next, the pair of Austrian Art Nouveau vases.

Brace yourself, Richard.

They're currently on for £80. What's your best price on those?

-The best I can do on them is £60.

-Would you come down a bit more?

-We were thinking sort of £40, £45.

-I can't. £60.

-They're quite dusty.

That means people haven't been picking them up.

RICHARD LAUGHS

-£50.

-£55.

-£50.

-£55.

-£52.

-£55.

-£54.

-£55.

-He's ever so good, isn't he? I'm trying.

-You certainly are!

-£55.

-Done.

-Thank you, sir.

-That's a pleasure.

-Much appreciated.

-Thank you. We're willing to take a risk.

-Well...

-Could you dust them before you pack them up?

-Certainly.

-Thank you.

What a gent, eh?

Two very generous deals there means

Nicki and Natasha walk away with two lots for auction.

Great start. Brum-brum.

-ENGINE REVS

-Yay!

Meanwhile, the boys are opting for a more chilled-out start to their day,

and have taken the Morgan 20 minutes east to just outside Hereford.

-Escape To The Country - good fun?

-Beautiful.

I love it and, for me, it was an absolute joy,

because that's what I've done my entire life,

so it's a chance to share my passion for country life

with a lot of people who want to get involved

and do the same sort of thing,

so, yeah, it's an absolute joy, mate, it really is.

But you've got a bit of a military background, haven't you?

-I did spend about five minutes in the army.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, I went to Sandhurst, never won any medals.

-Really?

-But I grew up in an army town, you see, in Colchester.

-Yeah.

My grandfather was in the army

and so I've always had this deep fascination with military history

and every now and then, they let me loose

with a military history series.

Philip's decided to start their road trip

by taking Jules to the Herefordshire Light Infantry Museum.

Ah, crikey! I've got to peel this off me, Phil.

I'm not sure if Charles Morgan made a bigger car than this.

They were small people in those days, that's for sure!

They've come to learn about the regiment's part

in one of the defining moments of the First World War,

and are meeting Colonel Andy Taylor to find out more.

Jules, you'd better tell me if I've got to salute anything.

I don't think there's any need to do that this morning.

-Good morning, Jules.

-Nice to see you. How are you?

-Good to see you.

-Welcome to Suvla Barracks

and the home of the Regimental Museum.

You've packed this, haven't you?

There's a lot packed into this small room,

but then there's a lot of history to the regiment as well.

The barracks has been the home of reserve soldiers from Herefordshire

for over 150 years and they marched away from here to the Boer War,

the First World War and the Second World War.

The Battle of Gallipoli in Turkey

was one of the Allies' great disasters of World War I.

It was a failed attempt by the Allied forces

to control the sea route from Europe into Russia.

Had it been successful, it would have allowed the Allies to link up

with the Russians and the plan was then to knock Ottoman Turkey,

a ally of Germany, out of the war.

The naval and land operation started in 1915

and a battalion from the Herefordshire Regiment

was in combat not long after.

Gallipoli was notoriously bloodthirsty.

Yes, it was, and the first landings took place in April,

which were at Cape Helles and at Anzac Cove,

and that soon developed into stalemate.

And a second landing was proposed to the north at Suvla Bay,

to try and break that stalemate.

And it was that landing, in August,

which the Herefordshire Regiment took part in.

They landed on August 8th. There was a degree of confusion,

-as there was right the way through the battle.

-Yeah.

The support, the organisation was not as good as it should have been

and the Herefordshire Regiment landed, they had no maps,

they had no orders.

They were eventually given orders

and told to advance to a dried-up river course.

They advanced, didn't meet the enemy,

but took a lot of casualties through artillery fire.

For a campaign that lasted less than a year,

the death toll at Gallipoli was very high,

with around 50,000 Allied soldiers losing their lives.

But their deaths were not in vain.

In many ways, Gallipoli was the first amphibious assault

and the planning was not as detailed as it should have been.

I think the lessons learnt were not to underestimate the enemy,

not to underestimate the territory,

to plan well, to support the forces well.

And I think that those lessons were learnt,

so the great amphibious landings of the Second World War -

D-Day, for example -

would, perhaps, not have been successful as they were.

We've got here a collection of artefacts from Captain Ashton.

Captain Ashton was the adjutant of the battalion at Suvla Bay.

He was the first officer to land on the beaches there

and he was also the last officer to be evacuated on 12th December.

Captain Ashton wrote a diary of his time at Gallipoli

and later during the war as well.

There are some extracts here which you might be interested in.

"I had been first ashore. I was the last to leave.

"It was impossible not to notice the contrast -

"that brilliant August morning, 750 strong,

"the battalion full of fight and high endeavour,

"this dark December night, slinking away, under 100 strong,

"weary, dirty, disillusioned. And, yet, I was sorry to go."

Yes, I think there was a great survivors' guilt

amongst those individuals.

They'd started the campaign with such high endeavour,

they'd suffered so much, they'd lost good friends,

either killed or wounded, and they had achieved next to nothing.

Back with the girls and they're popping over the border into Wales,

heading for the pretty market town of Hay-on-Wye.

I must be right in saying,

having worked with Simon Fuller and Simon Cowell and everyone,

-you must have worked with the Spice Girls.

-I did, yeah,

way, way back, when you were probably at primary school

cos you're a lovely young 'un.

What were some of the highlights,

apart from working with the Spice Girls? Give me some names.

-Take That.

-Really?

-Which was tremendous, really great times.

-Wonderful!

-But then, I also worked for very different artists

that, for me, were true idols.

-People like Annie Lennox and the late David Bowie.

-Mmm.

I looked after Prince, Eric Clapton, Phil Collins, Van Morrison.

Nicki may have worked with all the top names in the music business,

selling records but, today, it's all about BUYING collectibles.

Next stop, Hay Antique Market, home to over 20 dealers.

There'll be plenty here for this pair to pore over.

We need to find that one...

I was going to say, "We need to find that one item."

-We've found a mini bath.

-In a way, is that quite cool?

-It's a hip bath.

-Is that what it's called?

It's for travelling so, obviously, it has the look

of one of those stand-alone cast-iron baths, but...

So, they'd have taken it with them on their travels?

Yeah, that's for travelling. It's for a quick rinse, isn't it?

Of the delicate parts. How old is it?

It's the late 19th century, 19th century idea.

This one's probably 20th. You know, we're so lucky.

We go to a hotel, we walk into a running shower.

You're travelling, you go to an inn,

there's not necessarily going to be a bath for just you.

-It might be a shared area.

-It might be out the back.

You take your hip bath, you go and get some warm water,

-you fill it up and you dip your hips.

-You do. Or your maid does.

Definitely a job for the hired help, methinks.

The hip bath's a possibility. Bit rusty. Anything else?

-That's fab on the wall!

-Ha-ha, you love this, do you?

-That is beautiful!

-I think that's quite fab. Is it silk?

Yes, it's raw silk, really nicely lined.

Probably relined. You can see the stitching here.

I think that someone's taken the time to reline it.

-How much is the asking price?

-Mmm, £69.

-£69.

-As you were walking towards it...

-Yes.

This is a bit far-fetched, but look here,

-at the back of this cabinet...

-NICKI LAUGHS

-..is a fan.

-We're creating a bit of role-play here, aren't we?

Can you see an auction lot?

One vintage silk kimono of abstract design, together with wooden fan.

Ha, I'm a fan. The kimono's a hit,

so time to call on dealer Jill to find out more about it.

I think it's been handmade around the 1930s by a housewife...

-You think as early as the '30s?

-Yeah.

-So, you've got £69 on the kimono.

-Yeah.

-And £5 on the fan.

-How much would you be willing to let go of the two for?

-For the two?

-Um, £55.

-What if we threw in the hip bath?

-I could do that for £70.

If you're having the three, I could do £120. That would be...

-How about £110?

-No, it would have to be £120, I'm afraid.

-I like them.

-I think a punt. Yeah.

-Take a risk?

-Take a risk. Let's do it!

-OK.

-Jill, thank you very much indeed.

-Thank you.

Their little jaunt into Wales sees the girls leave

with the hip bath for £70

and the kimono and wooden fan together for £50.

Meanwhile, yet to spend a penny - well, maybe not -

the boys have motored to Ross-on-Wye.

They've arrived at Elizabethan House Antiques.

This 16th-century building has three floors full of everything,

from pictures and prints

to decorative items, antique furniture and the rest.

-Hello, there.

-Hello.

-Nice to see you. I'm Jules.

-I'm Maggie.

Hi, Philip. How are you?

Maggie, you've got a lot for us to explore here.

Do you want to go that way and I'll go that way?

-We should divide and conquer.

-See you in a bit.

-See you back here.

Right, boys, you have £400 to spend. Let the hunt begin.

SHUTTER CLICKS

Bellows. I know what Phil would do with those.

I dread to think! Moving on...

That, if I'm not wrong, is an old door off a prison cell.

What are the chances of finding something like that here?

That's fabulous! And look at it.

The important bit, the expensive bit - the lock -

has obviously been removed, but the door itself,

with all of its bolts and other metal fittings, is all there.

That is fantastic. Let's feel the weight of it.

Crikey O'Reilly!

Yeah, that was definitely from a prison.

I might have to get Phil to help me with that.

Phil, you're needed. It's an emergency.

-I love that!

-Yeah?

-Yeah, absolutely.

-Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

-It's an old prison door, isn't it?

-Yeah, exactly.

-I'll tell you a little secret.

I bought one of these on a Road Trip once for about 15 quid

-and sold it for about £200.

-Did you?

-Yeah, but I was lucky.

I think we need to try and buy this for somewhere between...

-50 and 100?

-No, 40 and 60.

-40 and 60?

-Yeah.

Good cop, bad cop, but I think I've just become the bad cop, haven't I?

-Yeah.

-OK.

-You're really bad!

It's been said before.

With a ticket price of £90 for the 19th-century prison door,

the boys have asked Maggie to try and broker a deal

with its vendor, who's probably still inside.

He said he could possibly do it for £60.

We can tweak it to £55. How's that?

I think if you said yes, I think he'd just jump at that.

To be honest with you, I don't think £60 in itself is bad, actually.

-Ahhh...

-JULES LAUGHS

What ARE you doing? What are you doing, man?

-But if it was £55...

-I'm going with him.

-..he'd leave me alone.

I'll phone you back in a minute, all right?

JULES AND MAGGIE LAUGH

-No, I tell you what, we'll think about it at £60.

-Yeah.

There's a couple of other things it's worth having a look at.

-Hang to it for us for five minutes all right?

-Yeah.

I'm just going to go and beat him up in the corner!

Come on!

Haggling clearly isn't his forte

but Jules has a keen eye for unusual items.

-What on Earth's that?

-Well, according to the card,

it says, "First World War officer's map torch."

-I'm with the right bloke then.

-I'd love to have a closer look at it.

-Can we...?

-I can go.

-Can you, Maggie? Could you open that for us?

That's great. Look at that! I've never seen one of these before.

OK, boss, talk me through it cos you're the militaria man.

-There's "1917" written on it.

-So, used in First World War trenches?

-Yeah.

-Is that not just a bit...?

-Bulky?

-Yeah.

But think about it.

-Batteries, back in 1917, how big would they have been?

-Bulky.

Yeah, really bulky.

Presumably, you unscrew that and they'd have gone in there somewhere.

They've got 35 quid on it.

I'm thinking, because we are in the midst

of the centenary of the First World War,

that could be quite attractive to the right kind of collector.

I don't think that's bad money really.

I wish you wouldn't keep saying things like that. Stop it!

I'm not saying we should pay that for it, I'm just saying...

Let's just rehearse this one more time.

-LOUDLY:

-The trouble is, it's the price, really.

-Yes, it's the price, Phil.

-It's the price, really.

-It's FAR too expensive.

-Far too expensive.

-Let's look again.

They normally do a lot cheaper than this, normally, don't they?

Normally. Oh, Lordy!

Right, let's get serious, shall we?

What can we do?

I think the very, very, very best on that one would be £28.

So, my maths is really lousy.

-So, what we're talking about, really, is...

-28 plus the door.

28... So, we're talking 70 quid for the two, aren't we?

-Is that maths right?

-We are talking...

-£70 for the two, isn't it?

-JULES LAUGHS

Nice try, Phil. It would actually be £88 total. Maggie?

£75.

-I'm happy.

-That'll do. Maggie, you're a star.

-£75 for the pair.

-Thank you, my love.

Thank you very much indeed. The only question is, mate...

I'll carry THIS out. How are you going to manage the door?

With great difficulty, I imagine.

A successful bit of shopping gets the boys the prison door for £50.

Wow! And the map torch for £25. Wow!

And on that note, both teams bid farewell to the first day.

Nighty-night then.

HE WHISTLES Wow!

It's a new morning and Nicki and Jules are cruising the Morgan

through rural Herefordshire.

-I feel this is the life from now on.

-Oh!

I think when we're escaping to the country,

-it needs to be in a classic car.

-I've argued that for many years.

-For all these years, they've got it wrong.

-Yeah.

This is the way to do it,

stopping off at a few antiques shops on the way.

And what a lovely immediate way to experience the countryside,

with the roof off, the air running round your hair...

-And a very attractive driver by your side.

-And a beautiful driver!

-There you go!

-I knew you were going to say it.

-I just thought I'd help you.

-JULES LAUGHS

So far, Jules and Phil have bought two items -

the 19th-century prison door and the World War I officer's map torch -

which means they still have £325 to spend today.

While Nicki and Natasha have an impressive four lots -

the vintage Bakelite hairdryer,

the Austrian Art Nouveau vases,

the early 20th-century hip bath

and vintage kimono with wooden fan,

leaving them with £198 to play with.

Natasha and Philip have also hit the road and are making their way

to Ford bridge to meet their celebrity partners.

Tell me what Nicki's like. Is she nice?

-Is she really, really nice?

-Is that a wee Spice Girls reference?

-That's the one thing I've got in there.

-She is so cool.

And what about Jules? Is it an old boys' club these days?

Yeah, he's a nice guy. I think we're both local country boys at heart

and I enjoyed his company.

I've still got some money left in my back pocket.

I'm feeling confident today. Natasha and I are a good team.

We've still got more buys to be had, I think.

I should say so. Girls v boys - bring it on!

-NATASHA:

-Good morning!

-Hello!

-Nicely, look.

I'd get out the way, if I was you.

She hasn't found the brakes yet!

-I have a problem with first, that's the truth.

-NATASHA:

-Wonderful.

-NATASHA:

-Good morning.

-JULES:

-How are you?

-NATASHA:

-Very well.

-JULES:

-Mwah, mwah.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-I'm very good.

-Am I allowed to fraternise with the enemy?

-You can.

-Please do, please do.

-He's gorgeous, though.

-Oh, shut up!

-He's gorgeous.

-So are you, love.

-How are we?

-NATASHA:

-Good.

-Mwah.

Oh, wait a minute, Nicki.

They're going to set off. They're getting in the car first.

-You're driving.

-Right, OK.

-Oh...

-Boys, let me have a head start.

-I won't be able to find first in this, either!

-Oh, no, go.

-ENGINE REVS

-Look at the sound of THAT!

-No, stop, stop!

-Oh, you rotters! You rotters!

-NATASHA:

-We'll see you there.

-JULES:

-Catch us if you can.

-Let's see how I get on, shall we?

-There she goes.

-I'm behind you!

Oh, look at them, cosying up. Arm behind the headrest.

Look at them! They're buddies, aren't they?

This morning, our two teams are hurtling

towards the heart of Herefordshire and Leominster,

to start the day's buy.

-They're going to be there too, aren't they?

-Yeah.

So, we don't want to give the game away

as to what we are thinking about.

No, but they'll be at the make-up counter, you know, doing lippie.

And we'll be amongst the boys' toys, no doubt.

No, we'll be there with them, putting lippie,

a bit of slap make-up, you know.

It was good fun yesterday,

but today's going to be equally exciting.

And we don't have much to buy now.

Looks like the boys are first to arrive. Stand by.

Whoa, lovely! Thank you, mate.

Did they get here before us?

-Oh, they did! Oh, no!

-Oh, no!

-JULES:

-Here they come! Ha-ha, come on, Phil!

-NATASHA:

-You're so bad!

-Damn you!

-JULES:

-Let's go, let's go.

Do we need to rush in or shall we let them think

-they've got first dibs?

-Yeah, let's pretend.

-We'll just breathe in.

-Ready?

-Cool and calm.

-Go.

-Here we go.

-Yeah.

-We're not in a hurry...

THEY LAUGH

Let us in!

-LAUGHTER

-No! That's not...

-Let us in!

-We've cleared it out.

There'll be blood everywhere if you don't let us in!

-NATASHA:

-This is like the Brownies and Scouts. You're terrible.

-JULES:

-After you, ladies.

-Thank you.

You can have first dibs, go on. Off you go.

Ah, they're gents really.

And there's lots of antiques on offer,

so no need for squabbling, eh.

-We need to find something completely weird.

-Something weird.

Look how beautiful everything is.

We need to find something weird that has the edge.

-Ah-ha! It smells a bit fishy.

-That's weird!

-What is it?

-Is that a mask?

-It's not!

-I think it is a mask, look.

Ooh, imagine the smell inside!

Guys, I've got someone here who'd like to meet you.

THEY LAUGH

-I can smell something fishy!

-JULES:

-It's Crocodile Chapman.

-NATASHA:

-Is that not amazing?

-JULES:

-That's good fun.

-That's horrid.

But isn't it brilliant? Go on, just for me, Phil. Just for me, go on.

-Just for you?

-Yeah, go on.

Give me your glasses. That's it.

-ALL: Hey! NATASHA:

-He is a pike.

THEY LAUGH Holy mackerel!

-There's one problem.

-Go on.

-I've got my bloody ears stuck!

THEY LAUGH

-It's a tight fit.

-Yeah.

-You'll just have to wear it all day.

-What?

-Shall we just leave them?

-OK, nice to see you. Bye, come on.

-It's nearly £300 that. Be careful.

It's going to hurt you more than me. Argh.

JULES LAUGHS

-Oh, ding-dong!

-285 quid?!

-What about my ear?

Well, if you will play silly beggars!

While Phil's busy feeling sorry for himself and his ear,

Nicki's spied something she likes.

-I love this. Can I put it on?

-That is cool.

-That's

-beautiful, isn't it?

-If you'd turned up this morning wearing that,

-I'd be saying, "How chic."

-Now, £78.

-1972.

-It's so '70s, isn't it?

-It is.

-Beautiful.

-It's so smart. Now, it says silver.

Do we have any marks on it? This is a London mark,

so is it the London look? It's 1972.

That is smart. What do you think? We've not been everywhere.

Shall we hop upstairs, keep that in our hands,

-and then go and visit Ben at the counter?

-Yeah.

Ah, yeah. Now, how are the boys getting on?

-I like these.

-These little benches?

-Yeah. They're French.

Nice, actually. Yeah. Fairly sturdy, aren't they?

-How much is the price then?

-Let's have a look.

-It's at the other end.

-Is it?

-JULES LAUGHS

-Pull straight through the...

-Ooh, hello.

Let's not trash the rest of it. There we are, mate. Is it...? Ooh.

£225. Hmm.

Well, you see, in auction, they're going to make 100 to 150, I think.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, but I like them. Do you like them?

-I do like them, actually.

I'll be honest, I would happily put those in my own house, actually.

-OK.

-Yeah. If we could get those for the right money.

They've got to be 80 to 100 quid, really.

That's quite a big drop though, from 225. Do you think they'd do that?

Don't know. Depends what they bought them for.

As the boys consider the benches,

on the other side of the shop, Nicki's on a roll.

-This is cute.

-Do you know what? I hope when you open the drawer...

Yes, it's wee tiny samples.

So, these are for collectors of specimens.

-You could use it now for jewellery.

-Yes.

You could use of for a million different things.

And for some reason, Nicki - and I actually have no idea why -

these sort of mid 20th-century collectors or specimen cabinets

-have become really cool.

-Have they?

Yeah, and look at that price. Do you know what I would expect?

-A "1" in front of that. That's in at 65.

-At auction?

Well, at auction, I think it's a good 40 to 60.

-So that has potential for us.

-For sure, that has potential.

Another possibility. Anything else, girls?

-Trendy.

-Yeah, I like that, actually.

Totally trendy, hat stands, for some reason.

We've been talking about it, we've said it a million times,

but in London, you're fighting for space when you've got your flat,

so what a cool way to hang up all your coats and hats and everything.

You could see that in a restaurant, couldn't you?

That is cool, but I think they'd be willing to let it go

-for not too much.

-Yeah, I wouldn't want to be spending £85 on that.

-Absolutely not.

-As lovely as it is.

Back with the boys, Jules has spotted

a rather nice enamelled sign. As you do.

I could see that going into a refurbished kitchen

or a little chichi London coffee shop, maybe.

It's quite cool. One of the things about those

is that there are so many enamel signs over the years

that farmers' sons have used for airgun practice

or they're blocking up a hole in the garden shed roof...

-Yeah.

-Actually, it's not too battered, is it?

Not at all and, in fact, it's still got the enamel on the back.

So, that's 235. These are 225. That's 460 quid.

-That's more than we started with!

-Yeah. Not boding well. OK.

So, now then, I am clearly going to leave the negotiation to you, mate,

because we're looking to drop quite a bit on both of these, aren't we?

What I'm going to ask you to do is sit in the chair, say nothing.

-Right.

-Promise me?

-Promise.

-Right, sit down.

JULES LAUGHS

I'll be back.

Meanwhile, Nicki and Natasha have located dealer Ben to talk money.

Look out, Ben.

-So, the specimen drawer and the hat stand together comes to...

-£150.

-Where does £100 sound for the two?

-Bit high.

Well, it is a bit high cos I've still got my eye on something else.

-What were you thinking?

-40 quid.

-It's a good deal.

-And then £100 for the two upstairs?

-It's a bit scary for me. I don't like three figures.

-Oh, I see.

-To get down to the two figures, we'll go £99.

-£95.

We're taking two pieces and then this for £40.

-OK.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Is it a deal? Thank you so much!

-Well done.

-Well done, partner.

-Ben.

-I think we should all shake hands.

-Yes.

-Yay!

-It's like a ceilidh!

No wonder they're dancing,

as they've just bagged the vintage brass coat stand and specimen chest

for £95 and a modernist silver cuff for £40.

As the girls pay up and make a quick getaway,

Phil's gearing up to do a deal with Andrew on the benches and the sign.

The combined ticket price is £460.

Now...Jules and I quite like...

-..what we're sitting on.

-Oh, right.

-These benches.

-Mmm.

And we also like the coffee sign.

And we were thinking that we've got to get...

-This is the point where I...

-Be gentle.

I'm really glad you're sitting down.

See, I was thinking that we'd like to try and buy the two

for, like, 180.

It's down to what you've bought them for, isn't it?

-At the end of the day, yes.

-You can either do a deal or you can't.

I think it's a bit TOO friendly, actually.

OK, what could you do then?

-180, you wanted them for?

-Yeah, that's the benches and the sign.

I'll get close. I'll do 200.

But there's no, "I'll go and have a think about it."

No, we'll make our mind up now and give you 190 quid for the three.

-£195.

-£195 - you're a gentleman, thank you very much.

-JULES LAUGHS

-Can I talk now?

-Yeah, go on.

-Yay!

That incredible discount means the boys have bought

the benches for £95 and the enamelled sign for £100.

Natasha and Nicki have finished their shopping

and have headed to Kington.

Now, if I was to say "Clogs",

you're more likely to think of Holland than Herefordshire.

But here, in this picturesque village,

resides the sole remaining hand carver of clogs in England.

Nicki and Natasha have come to meet the man himself,

master craftsman Jeremy Atkinson,

to find out about what was once a thriving industry

right here, in the UK.

Lovely to meet you, Jeremy.

When you think of British footwear,

you don't necessarily think of clogs, do you?

You think of them more being in Europe,

but that's obviously not the case.

No, they were probably worn just as much in Britain, actually.

When I think of a clog, I think of the wooden touristy affair.

-Is that a purist definition?

-Not quite, no.

The British version was always a mixture of leather and wood.

-Beautiful.

-It looks so elegant. If you go back in history,

what type of person would have been wearing a shoe like that?

-Workers or landed gentry?

-It's more by area.

Wales, Scotland, Lake District. It seemed to be very regional.

-A lot of it comes down to soil type.

-Go on, explain.

Well, if you've got a thin soil,

they don't clog up cos the peaty soil's too light to clog up.

Now, "clog up" comes from clogs picking up mud

and getting ever higher.

Because the sole doesn't bend as you walk, it just, it picks up divots

and they just get higher and higher and then you have to kick them off.

-Ah, so that's where the phrase comes from, "clogging up"?

-Yeah.

It was during the Industrial Revolution

that the wearing of clogs really took off in Britain,

with workers in the mills, mines, workshops and factories

requiring strong, cheap footwear.

So, people wearing clogs every day and also using them for industry,

how would the cost have compared, say, a clog to a boot?

A leather boot would have been about a week and a half wages

-and a clog was a day and a half.

-Oh, wow.

That's a lot of difference, isn't it?

Clog dancing can be traced back to the Middle Ages,

but the dance as we know it today

took shape during the Industrial Revolution.

Initially started to alleviate boredom

and warm up in the cold, industrial towns, its popularity grew

and the World Clog Dancing Championships

began back in the 1880s.

When do you think people stopped wearing clogs, mass scale,

-in the UK?

-It petered out in the '50s.

-Did it? It went to the 1950s?

Oh, yeah, because in the Second World War,

-you didn't need coupons for them.

-What's the timeframe?

How long would it take to create a clog just like this?

About eight to ten hours for something as simple as this.

Keen to see Jeremy in action, he's going to show Nicki and Natasha

what it takes to carve a clog from scratch.

-Come on, Jeremy.

-There we go.

-Here it comes.

-And I should...

-..be able to cleave it out.

-How good was that?

It's so physical.

So...

That's incredible. You really can see it taking shape.

So, that's fairly broad pattern. It's been blocked out.

Jeremy, thank you so much. It's fascinating, the whole process.

Just to see the first stage of it,

and let's hope these skills continue for future generations.

-Thanks.

-Bye-bye.

-How unbelievable was that?

-Amazing!

Can you imagine just walking past here? Look at him. What an artisan.

-Tour de force. The Clog Man.

-The Clog Man.

Back with the boys, and they've left Herefordshire

and made their way to Burford in Oxfordshire.

Considered the southern gateway to the Cotswolds,

this beautiful old town is home to the chaps' final stop.

-This is nice, Phil! Look at that!

-It is, isn't it?

A country house thrown in.

Now, I might need a team of surgeons to help me get out of this thing.

Dear me!

Come on, mate, come on.

-Last visit. There you are, sir.

-Argh!

-That's my knee knackered!

-JULES LAUGHS

Unhand him. Just as well it's your last shop then.

-Hi, how are you?

-Hi.

-Philip.

-Adrian.

-Good to see.

-Jules. Very nice to see you.

-And you.

Let me just tell you, this shop looks like seventh heaven to us

-and we'd like to buy one or two items?

-Yeah. See how we get on.

But from this moment on, I'm not going to say another word.

So the dealing's left to me.

-The dealing's left to me then.

-Great.

I'll do my best to take all your money, Jules.

-You probably will.

-PHILIP GASPS

Phil, trust me, it's going to be all right.

Right, you've got £130 left to spend. Off you pop.

Look at that! I have always fancied one of those. A genuine safe.

Ooh, mind you... Bit more money than we've probably got.

Just a tad.

Let's get Phil over.

-Look at this, mate.

-Oh, I saw that!

-You've got a good eye.

-Yeah.

-I love that.

T Withers & Sons of West Bromwich.

-IN BRUMMIE ACCENT:

-West Bromwich, don't you know.

I would be trying to buy that for somewhere between 50 and 80 quid,

so there's your challenge there.

You've got no chance of matching me, not a chance.

All right, I'm just laying down the law here.

You can stop talking now.

You can absolutely, you can absolutely stop talking now, mate.

-Oh.

-Off you go.

-Oh...

-Ah!

Serrell silenced? Well, there's a first!

The ticket says £225.

Has Jules learned enough to get a good deal

on the late 19th-century safe? Stand by.

Realistically, I think it needs to be

-somewhere round the sort of 40 to 50 quid mark.

-Ooh.

Yeah, I've dived straight in with a pretty tough offer.

-Ooh, that was harsh.

-That hurt.

-Ooph! Um...do you know what?

We're not a million miles away.

That's one of those items that I bought at the right money.

What about if I met you somewhere close to where you want to be? £65.

What if we split the difference at 55?

60 and you've got a deal.

60 quid on the safe, Phil, yeah? Done, sir. Lovely.

Now, that leaves us, I think -

if I've finally got my sums right - with £70.

Anything in here that you would be happy to let go

for that sort of money, bearing in mind

-I do need to turn some sort of profit on this?

-OK.

-Yeah, I've got something in mind, actually.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Come on then, show me.

-What about something like this lamp, Jules?

-It's upcycled.

-Old fire extinguisher?

-A garden sprayer.

-A garden sprayer!

-Yeah.

-I love it.

-And you've sort of burnished it up and mounted a lamp on it.

-Yeah.

-He's got no chance of buying that for that money.

-Is it certified?

Yes, it's been properly done and tested.

-No way is he buying that for £70. Not a chance.

-Ooh, £165.

-He's never going to buy...

-Will you shush?!

-Sorry.

But as I said to you, I bought it right cos in rough condition,

it was a relatively cheap item and I think, at a squeeze,

-I'll let it go for £70.

-So, the whole lot...

He's bought it.

-The safe and that for £130?

-Yeah, that's your budget done.

You may speak now, if you wish, sir.

JULES LAUGHS

I think, actually, he's genuinely lost for words.

Trust me, that never happens!

Two very generous discounts though

secures the boys' final two lots for auction. Hurrah!

With both teams all spent, time for a spot of show and tell.

-Philip, you're poking out!

-What?

LAUGHTER

-I wonder what one of the things are that they've bought.

-We, um...

Go on then, you reveal first.

-Are you ready?

-Ooh!

-JULES:

-Look at that!

-Oh, my word!

-Is that a prisoner door?

-JULES:

-That is a prison door. And last but not least, how about this?

Are you ready?

-GIRLS: A safe!

-Is that a spraying machine?

It's a garden sprayer, converted into a table lamp.

-Is this yours as well?

-There's two benches.

-Two French benches.

-NATASHA:

-How much have you spent?

-Every last penny.

-JULES:

-Every cent.

-Have you?

-Yeah, every penny.

-Can I just say, you're so predictable.

Boys v girls and how macho have you gone? How macho?

"We've spent every penny. We bought a prison door."

-Come on, girls, then.

-It's all about the size in that corner.

-It's all about the size.

-What does that tell us? I won't go there.

Enough of the boys' bulky buys, girls, it's your turn.

Fine things, gentlemen.

-JULES:

-Ooh, elegant.

-NATASHA:

-Yes, elegance indeed.

-JULES:

-Ooh, very elegant. Look at the fan!

-NATASHA:

-Jules, how's your hair? You want to borrow our hairdryer?

LAUGHTER

-Have you tried that out?

-It works. So, we have our stand here.

-JULES:

-Yeah, that's nice.

-Sample drawers.

-Ooh, love that.

-That is lovely.

It would make a great jewellery box, wouldn't it?

-It's beautiful, isn't it?

-How much for the kimono?

-And the fan. £50.

-£50. There we are. Cheap outfit.

-Yeah.

-I love the bath though.

-JULES:

-I love that!

-We have...

-Played safe.

Oh! I think, on that kind of lousy joke,

-we should get out of here, Nicki.

-Yeah.

Think about what you've done, you two.

Bad jokes aside, what do they really make of each other's lots?

I know they're girlies,

-but they have bought girly stuff, haven't they?

-It wouldn't be for me.

I'm not too sure about Dame Edna's dressing gown.

JULES LAUGHS

I looked at theirs and I loved the lamp, that unusual lamp.

-It's so cool, so Philip.

-Beautiful, beautiful.

And those benches, but I wouldn't have picked those.

-I'm happy with everything, Natasha.

-I'm so pleased.

I'm really pleased with them.

I stood there and was looking at them and at your face as well

and I thought, "We're proud of this."

-Yeah.

-I think we've done well.

Hey, famous last words?

After starting in way back Wormsley in Herefordshire,

Nicki and Jules are now hurtling towards auction

in North Finchley in London.

Jules, how many auctions have you been to in your lifetime?

-I've gone to quite a few actually.

-Have you?

-They are rather addictive.

Once you get the bug, it's hard to let go.

You have the old right hand syndrome, do you?

-I tend to sit on them if I can.

-Do you?

-It's cheaper that way.

Remember, no bidding for YOU today. You're selling, sir.

Natasha and Philip have already arrived at NL Auction Rooms

and are waiting for the celebrity partners.

-Oh, there they are!

-Oh, ha-ha.

-JULES:

-How are you?

-Hello!

-No time for pleasantries.

-NATASHA:

-Out of the wind and the rain to Profitland.

-I know.

You've mastered getting out of that thing!

-We are so looking forward to this.

-Come in.

-Hello.

Get in. Come on, it's started.

Let's remind ourselves of the purchases.

Nicki and Natasha spent £337 on six lots.

The chaps also bought six lots,

spending each and every penny of their £400 budget.

Today's auction has buyers both online and in the room

and the man with the gavel is David Palmer.

What does he make of our teams' lots?

The selection today is surprisingly good, I think.

They're proper things that they've found.

The last item is the one that I'd buy, the lamp base. That's good.

My wife would accept that as something to bring home

and have in the house.

The piece that I cannot comprehend why anyone would buy it

is that kimono. Why? Why did they buy it?

You were there. Why did they do it?

Don't blame ME, David!

Fingers and toes are crossed the buyers will love it.

Our teams have taken their seats.

Who will be victorious, the girls or the boys?

Time to find out.

The girls are up first with their vintage Bakelite hairdryer.

Fully tried and tested. So which one of you tried and tested it then?

It works, I promise you it works. And it gets very hot.

It comes with a provenance.

She's off, she's off!

You did a very fine job. Just the ones at the back haven't seen...

There's a gentleman I know is very keen at the back.

-The bald gentleman!

-Thank you, sir. I will sit down now.

-She's just shown it to a bald bloke!

-I think I'd better give up!

-LAUGHTER

-Right, there we are then.

You've seen it, handled by the lady there.

20 quid. 10. So cheap.

At 10, I sell here at 10. Take a 2 now.

10. 12. 15. 18.

-20's bid now.

-22?

22. I tell you what, gents. If you want to bid on this,

I'll throw the lady in blue in with it as well.

-It's a deal! You'll get a kiss.

-JULES LAUGHS

Can someone lend me some money, please?

-LAUGHTER

-You can have a kiss too.

22. The bid is over here at 22.

-I'm selling then at £22.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

-NATASHA:

-Nicki!

-JULES:

-Oh!

Despite the tempting offer of a smacker from Nicki,

the hairdryer makes a loss.

-Get that smile off your face!

-JULES LAUGHS

It's a little soon to be so smug, Jules.

Look out, here comes your 19th-century prison door.

£20 for it then. 20 I'm bid.

-PHILIP:

-Oh, my life.

And 2? 22. 25. 28.

Over here at 28. 30. 5. 40.

40. Madam, 45? At 40. It's with the gentleman at £40.

It's got to be 50 quid at least, surely!

-Well, it was when WE bought it.

-LAUGHTER

-I will sell back there at £40.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

It's a tough crowd today. That's a loss apiece.

I know we're two teams against one another,

but seeing as we're all making losses,

-can we all just be in it together from now on?

-ALL: Yeah!

Let's see if Nicki's Austrian Art Nouveau vases fare a bit better.

Start at 20. Anyone, 20?

-20 I'm bid.

-I like that lady.

-22 now?

Goes then at 20.

All done at 20.

-Finishing at 20.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

Come on, come on.

Oh, dear. Not the result they were hoping for.

I would have taken everything we bought home with me.

-You might have to!

-Well, I wouldn't mind.

Unfortunately, you can't buy your own lot.

So, let's hope someone else does,

as your World War I officer's map torch is up next.

-£20 for it.

-Come on, take home a bit of history!

-20 here. 22 behind you.

25, madam? 25. 28? 28. 30.

-Profit!

-This is uncharted territory!

-Profit!

Now go 30. At 28. With him at 28.

I sell with him at £28.

He's not a relative of yours, is he?

-At 28, I'm selling now.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

-We're not lucky charms, are we, today?

-No.

First profit of the day though, albeit a small one.

You know, it's a shame, but somebody's taking home

something that's really fascinating and genuinely unusual.

Jules' find is next to go. His big enamelled sign.

The net's bid 20. Take a 2 in the room. Goes at 20.

-22. 30 on the net.

-Ooh, it's exciting.

-It's all over the place.

-40, room.

-Ooh, ooh, ooh.

-Go, go!

-Internet, you're out.

-45. 50, madam? 50 to the lady.

-Yes! This is good.

-Sold to the lady here at £50.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

-Oh! Cheap at half the price.

-It WAS half the price!

London does not love our teams today. Bad luck.

My glass is always half full.

You may need that positive energy, Nicki,

as it's your lot the auctioneer dismissed -

the vintage kimono and wooden fan.

-Off you go.

-Show us what you're made of, girl.

-AUCTIONEER:

-Lot 86.

-JULES:

-Look at this! Bit of glamour in the room.

Lady's raw silk Japanese kimono showing now. And the fan.

-Brilliant.

-NATASHA:

-Nicki is rocking the kimono.

-Can you all see?

There's the kimono, OK, being nicely modelled.

There must be a price for me just modelling it, mustn't there?

-OK, a tenner then.

-A tenner?!

-Anyone, £10?

-JULES:

-10 quid?!

You get the hanger as well. 10 I'm bid over there.

At 10. Take 2. Goes then at 10.

-It's silk!

-With the fan, with the fan!

15 on the net. The net at 15. 18.

20 in the room. I'll take you at 20.

22? 22 at the back. 25 now? 25.

It's been worn by a famous person!

30 on the net.

32. At 32.

This side at 32.

Net, are you in at 35? 35.

It must be worth at least 40 for that.

Come on, get back over here.

-At £35.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

-I think she's been sold with it!

-Thank you.

Hey, I hope that Nicki would be worth more than THAT!

We got you a booking for Widow Twankey.

THEY LAUGH

Hey, I could see YOU playing that role, Philip.

Here we go again. It's the turn of the boys' benches.

100 I'm bid. 100. Take 10 now.

-Bid!

-JULES:

-Come on!

-That's a result.

110. 120. 130. 140.

-Yeah!

-I sell at 140.

150. The phone then at 150 now. I'm selling on the phone at 150.

-Net, nothing on you. At £150.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

Hey! Well done.

Now, that's more like it.

You ARE the legend!

Nicki and Natasha need a profit here.

It's their miniature specimen drawers

with vintage brass coat stand next.

Anyone, 20? 20 here. With the lady at 20 now.

I'll take a 2. 22.

-25.

-PHILIP:

-Ouch.

28. 30. 32. 35.

38. 40. 45.

40 with the lady. The lady now at 40.

-Finished and done at £40.

-What?!

-HE BANGS GAVEL

Oh!

Someone's walking away with a bargain.

But another loss for the girls.

-You live, you learn.

-JULES:

-We've learnt a lot today.

The boys' late 19th-century safe is up next.

-Let's say 50 for it. Anyone, 50 quid?

-JULES:

-Cheap at 50.

The top's warm. We've got a lady sitting on it!

-£20 for the safe.

-He's really trying for us. I love him!

10. 10 here. At 10 now.

-Goes at 10.

-You are joking!

-I sell then, on the maiden bid, at £10.

-Selling then at a tenner.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

Lordy, it's a buyer's market today!

We bought the right stuff. We're selling it on the wrong day.

Surely the girls' modernist silver cuff will pull in a profit.

Come in at 10 for it. £10.

A very decorative piece. Anyone, 10?

We haven't got a bidder.

Fiver then? You'll go 10.

-10.

-Oh, I feel sick.

At 10 here. The bid is here at 12.

The lady at 12 now. At 15. Over there at 15.

-Am I allowed to sulk at this point?

-We could have a team cry.

18. Back down here at 18. 20.

-Come on, it's gorgeous, it's gorgeous!

-JULES:

-Up.

I sell to the lady, here in the middle, at £22.

-I can't believe that.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

Of your items,

-is that one of the things you'd have taken home with you?

-100%.

-Yeah.

Nothing but losses for Nicki and Natasha. Ouch!

We go to Herefordshire, where you think you'd pick up a bargain.

We come to London,

that has this reputation for paying over the odds for everything,

-it's been the exact opposite.

-Yeah, totally.

Can our girls finish up on a profit, I wonder?

It's their early 20th-century metal hip bath.

£20 for it. Come in at 20. Anyone, 20?

20 quid over here. At 20 now.

20. 22. 25.

-Thank you.

-Yes!

-28.

30. 32. At 32.

-35. 40? 40.

-Yes!

-At the back at 40.

-At 40. I sell then at 40.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

£40 is all right if we hadn't paid £70 for it,

but it's still all right.

Oh, dear. Well, you can't win them all.

Or ANY of them, it would seem, girls.

-Whatever it went for, it's still a lovely thing.

-It IS a lovely thing.

Time for the boys' final lot,

the Edwardian spraying machine, converted into a lamp.

30 I'm bid. With the lady at £30.

-NATASHA:

-It could climb.

-JULES:

-Come on, fight over it.

35 on the net. Now 40.

40 in the room. The room at 40.

45. The net at 45. Put it up to 50.

At 45. Sell on the internet then at £45.

Nobody else? 50. With the lady at 50 now.

-That's more like it.

-Nobody else?

-The room has it at 50.

-Up, up, up, up.

-I'm selling at £50.

-Done at 50...

-52. >

-Where did you get that one from?

-52!

-It's crawling its way up!

55, madam?

-Oh, go on!

-53.

I'll take it. It's an upward bid. 53.

-They're heckling the auctioneer.

-Don't be outbid by a mere pound.

-Come on!

-I sell at 53 then. They've gone 54! At 54.

-NATASHA:

-Good on you, internet!

-55.

-JULES:

-Yes!

-At 55, I sell then.

-Here in the room at £55.

-HE BANGS GAVEL

-NATASHA:

-Good work!

-JULES:

-Oh, wow!

Not THAT good! It's still a loss. Sorry, chaps.

-Shall we slink out through the door?

-Yeah, come on.

-Come on.

-Yep.

-Hilarious, hilarious. Well done.

-I'm going to hold my head down in shame.

It was a tough room, Nicki.