Episode 10 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip

-The nation's favourite celebrities...

-Ooh.

Want to touch base.

-..paired up with an expert...

-Boo!

..and a classic car.

No hands!

Their mission - to scour Britain for antiques.

My office, now!

The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

But it's no easy ride. Who will find a hidden gem?

I like that.

-Who will take the biggest risk?

-This could end in disaster.

-Will anybody follow expert advice?

-But I love this!

Why would you buy something you're not going to use?

There will be worthy winners and valiant losers.

-No, I don't want to shake hands.

-Put your pedal to the metal.

Hang on, let me get out of first gear.

This is the Celebrity Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

Today, we're in the south of England with showbiz best pals

and co-stars of Radio 4 sitcom Potting On.

It's all-round entertainer Pam Ayres

and esteemed actor Geoffrey Whitehead.

What could be nicer than being driven

around the Hampshire countryside by Pam Ayres in an MG?

Do we have to bother with the antiques?

Yes, you jolly well do!

It's not called Celebrity Antiques Road Trip for nothing, you know!

Now, Pam has...

IN PAM'S ACCENT: ..for over 40 years,

made the nation shed joyful tears.

She's wowed us with her witty prose,

as a top comedienne she has rose.

Presenter, writer and broadcaster too,

fabulous Pam Ayres, we do salute you.

They've got a practice baby you can bath and put to bed

It's only made of rubber, you can drop it on its head.

Bestselling author Pam is starting this road trip

at the helm of this dark blue 1975 MGB GT.

I used to have one of those.

-Is it taking you back, Pam?

-I had one of these in 1977 and it was...

Oh, gee! It was the pinnacle... Hang on, let me get out of first gear.

-It was the pinnacle of my aspirations.

-Me too.

Seasoned actor Geoffrey trained at RADA,

alongside the likes of John Thaw and Tom Courtenay,

and went on to become a star of radio, film, theatre and TV.

How do I look?

You look...

unsinkable.

It turns out that Geoffrey has a slight advantage on this road trip.

My partner is someone who is...

well, there's no other way to disguise it, Pam, a dealer.

-A dealer!

-Yes, but...

-I think this is altogether unfair.

-What are you looking for in your expert, Geoffrey?

-Help.

I want somebody supportive, ideally steamingly handsome.

Well, Pam, your luck may be in,

as joining you both on this trip are two seasoned antiquers -

the good-looking James Braxton and the delightful Kate Bliss,

who are motoring along

in this impressive, smooth Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow.

What a beautiful car! How are you finding it?

I could handle driving to work in this every day.

If you don't mind, she's been a great heroine of mine.

-I'd love to go with Pam Ayres.

-Well, that's absolutely fine,

-because I would love to go with Geoffrey.

-Fabulous, Pam Ayres it is!

The only problem is Pam Ayres may not want to go with me.

Well, there is that, there is that, James.

Once paired up, our teams will kick off this rip-roaring road trip

with £400 in their pockets.

Starting in Sparsholt, Winchester,

they'll then be buying up

in Berkshire and Hampshire,

before heading to Cirencester

in Gloucestershire for auction.

-Here we go, with an MG.

-Look at that!

-Woohoo!

-Very smart!

-A very pretty car, isn't it?

-Great!

-Congratulations.

-Arriving in style.

-Very nice to meet you. James.

-Hello.

-Did you fit in there?

Partners pre-picked by our experts, they're ready to pair up.

-Would you like me to drive, Geoffrey, to start off?

-Please.

-I'm in your hands.

-Come on round then.

-It's a long way down!

-It is a long way down, isn't it?

And hit the road.

-They're off!

-And so should you be. Get going then.

Well, this is more like it.

It's such a relief to get out of that MG.

It's like being trapped in a pilchard tin!

-GEARS CRUNCH

-I haven't quite got my gears yet.

I'm very pleased to see you struggling

cos I struggled as well.

-Do you like driving?

-Not really.

I started my career in Z Cars and I couldn't drive.

It was a Ford Zephyr

and a man called Stan Hollingsworth used to lie on the floor

and actually work the pedals and the clutch and I would steer it.

-Really? So, you weren't driving?

-No.

I think they'll be stiff rivals, won't they?

Yeah, I think he'll be going to box clever, James.

I think he'll box clever.

For their first pit stop,

Pam and James are heading

to Hungerford in Berkshire.

I feel that Geoffrey has got a vast knowledge

which is going to be very difficult for me to compete with.

Kate's very competitive as well.

-It's good to just gently sow doubting seeds.

-Ah, yes.

-We could tell them about a sleeper.

-A sleeper?

-A sleeper.

-Tell me more.

Sleeper is a sort of little treasure that lies undiscovered.

Well, hopefully, there may be some sleepers hiding

in their first shop of the day, Hungerford Arcade.

-In we hop.

-Right.

-After you.

-So, eyes peeled.

-My goodness! Gee, where do you start?

I think the great rule of thumb is the Princess Margaret school

of keep walking, never stop,

just process slowly and take it all in and then only stop when need be.

-Is that what she did?

-Yeah.

-OK, we'll do the same.

-Let's proceed.

So, what are we looking for?

That reminds me of Dubai, of the gold souks there.

I'm not looking for any gold cos I've only got 400 quid.

In these troubled times, gold is soaring, isn't it?

I like this little tea set.

I had one a bit like it at home and I think that's very sweet.

Would it be stupid of me to buy that, do you think?

-Course it wouldn't.

-No?

-How much is it?

-It's £8.50.

-It doesn't seem too expensive, does it?

-No, it doesn't.

-I think it's very sweet.

-So, you're a decision-maker, aren't you?

-Yeah.

-So, you leap straight in.

-I like that tea set, that child's tea set.

I think it has great charm. We'll try and get that, shall we?

Shall we try and get that? I think, Pam, brilliant.

-What do I have to do then?

-I think we...

Do I go and get the man by the throat

or do I go and choose some other things?

She doesn't mess about, does she?

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hello. James.

-Ian.

-Ian.

-Hello, Ian. Hello, Ian.

Is this is where I have to be hard-nosed?

-Yeah, you have to be hard-nosed.

-I like this little dinky tea set.

-Can we examine it first?

-Yes, certainly.

Can my expert scrutinise it?

-Ian...

-I think it's pretty.

-Yeah.

-And I like pretty china.

Oh, it's not that old.

Look, I can feel it, and we've got a clear marking there.

The Victorian ones were generally made

in Stoke-upon-Trent, Staffordshire,

and they would have been quite clumsy in their manufacture.

It's bone china. It's none of your rubbish.

-We've got to start somewhere.

-Got to start somewhere.

At least we're starting. That's the main thing.

Ian, I'm tasked with getting the best possible price for it.

-OK, well, the current price is £8.50.

-Yeah.

And I know the dealer, James, so I might be able to give him

a quick call and see if he can squeeze a little bit more off.

A decisive start there from Pam,

as Ian heads off to try and broker a deal.

Shall we have a look at some other things

while Ian is negotiating with James?

-Well, time is money, isn't it?

-Time is money, absolutely.

-Time is money.

-Busy people.

-Jewellery, nice jewellery.

Expensive though for our purposes, isn't it?

While Pam and James carry on hunting in Hungerford,

Geoffrey and Kate have motored their way to Reading,

where they're arriving at their first shop of the day.

-Fanny's.

-Fanny's Antiques. Look at that.

-My word!

-So, here we go. First shop.

-Plenty to look at.

-Yeah!

-It's stuffed in here.

-Indeed!

One of Reading's longest-running antiques havens,

there's plenty of collectables for Geoffrey to get his teeth into.

So, what about ceramics, Geoffrey? Do you like those?

Well, no, I don't think so. I think pottery, that is Pam's department.

-Is it?

-I think so.

-Do you think that would be a Pam piece?

-That's right up Pam's street.

-Is it?

-Yes. Look at it. Quite hideous.

He doesn't hold back, does he?

-Ah, the old cruet.

-Yeah. What do you think of it?

Shall we have a look underneath?

-Yeah, I tell you what...

-If I hold it up.

-Now, don't drop it, Geoffrey.

-No.

James Deakin. And it's Sheffield.

-Hey, it's from your neck of the woods.

-Well, that settles it.

-I mean, that's fantastic.

-I would say that is Edwardian in date.

-OK.

-Do you know what, Geoffrey?

-Mm.

-There's a bit of damage on there.

Oh, yeah, that's a bad crack, isn't it? I'm not buying damaged goods.

-OK.

-Is that a flat no?

-I'm afraid so, Sheffield and all.

-I agree.

While Geoffrey and Kate continue to browse,

back in Hungerford, Pam and James are waiting for an answer

from Ian on the children's tea set.

-Here's our man.

-Hello again.

-Hello.

-Ian, come on.

-What did James say?

I spoke to him and he said you could have it for £5.

-For £5, I will accept. Thank you.

-That's very kind.

-That's all right.

-That's my first purchase and it's been an absolute undiluted joy.

-OK.

Hasn't she got a lovely way with words?

-Anything else grab you, Pam?

-Teddy.

-Teddies are worth a lot of money, aren't they?

-They can be, yeah.

The right teddy can be worth a lot of money.

-Is this the right teddy, do you think?

-I don't know.

-Is it straw-filled?

-Hello, teddy. He looks rather a nice teddy.

What does he cost? He costs...

-Quite big, isn't he?

-Let's have a look. £120.

-Wow!

-He's rather nice, aren't you?.

-Is he straw-filled? Does he crunch?

-He does crunch a bit, doesn't he?

-Is that good?

-It's good.

You're a nice boy, you are.

Up until the 1920s,

most teddies were stuffed with wood shavings, giving a straw-like feel.

What about his eyes? Are these glassy eyes?

I think they're plastic.

Yeah, I think they are. I don't think they're original.

-He's getting a bit bald, isn't he? He's been loved.

-Yeah.

Do you think I'm daft though?

Cos I don't know anything about antiques,

I just know what I like, and I quite like him.

Well, Pam certainly seems smitten. Best get Ian back over.

-He's £120.

-OK.

-Do you think it's all right to buy him, James?

-Cos I'm on very thin ice here.

-Not at 120.

-No.

-Not at 120, my expert says.

-No, it's got to be a lot less.

My expert's a very esteemed expert in the field of teddy bears.

Well, if you hand the teddy bear to me, I'll see what I can do.

-You're a good man.

-Thank you. Setting me up for a fall there.

It's a nice teddy. You know, I'd be all over it if it was 30 quid.

-Well, yeah...

-But it's not, is it?

-No.

-It's 120, so it's a grown-up decision to make.

-Yeah.

Right, Ian, what's the news?

I spoke to the dealer and she's such a fan of you both,

-she said you can have it for £75.

-£75.

I'll have to consult with my expert on this.

-What do you think, James?

-Well...

-I think it's a good price.

-Do you?

-Yeah.

-Well, I'm inclined to go for it.

-I would concur.

-OK, we'd like to buy the teddy bear.

-OK, shake his hand.

-Oh, look at that! Shake his hand.

-Shake his hand. Thank you.

-It's a deal!

-I like him.

-It's a deal.

-It's a deal.

That shake of the paw means they've spent a total of £80

on two items in her very first shop.

ENGINE CHUGS

-Doesn't sound very healthy, does it?

-Bit of a thump there.

-CAR WHINES

-Oh, gee!

Although their shopping is off to a flying start,

it looks like their road trip has ground to a halt.

-Right...

-Well, with great regret, we'll leave Ted, Big Ted.

Anyway, it's very good for the figure, isn't it?

-Very good for the figure, yes.

-Very good for the figure, Pam.

Let's hope Geoffrey's having better luck back in Reading.

I've seen something that I might like but I need a closer look at it.

-OK.

-Will you come with me?

-Yeah.

-It looks good.

Aha. Looks like a set of shutters have caught Geoffrey's eye.

-This is French. Well, it says it's French.

-Yeah.

Shutter, 19th century.

-Yeah, it could well be.

-Would you like a closer look at it?

-Yeah, let's have a look.

-Squeeze by.

I like the fact that it's still got the original ironwork on it.

-That latch there.

-That can't be faked, can it?

-No, and the hinges...

It certainly looks like it's got some age to it.

It could be from a French gite.

I don't think it's quite classy enough for a chateaux.

When we go abroad to Isle-sur-la-Sorgue, Montpellier,

and all these places in the South of France,

or the fleas in Paris,

-you see a lot of this stuff and I just love it.

-Yeah.

It's so reminiscent of all those trips

and nice sort of holidays and searching for goods and things.

It just speaks to me. It's got something, hasn't it?

It certainly has. So, what's the damage?

-Well, the damage...

-Mm.

-250.

-OK.

I wouldn't want to give more than 150 for it, really.

Right, best bargaining head on, Geoffrey.

Let's see if you can seal a deal with the top dog, Will.

-We've seen something that we rather like, or

-I

-rather like, anyway.

-The French shutter.

-What's the price on it?

It's 250, which...

-250.

-..seems a little high for us, you know.

-Can you do me anything on that?

-200 springs to mind.

-We were sort of thinking the 100 to 150, weren't we?

-Yeah.

-If you could come and meet us somewhere where you're happy.

-175?

-Well, that sounds... Yeah, that sounds acceptable.

-Are you happy?

-Yeah, I think we're all happy.

-It's a deal.

-OK.

-We're happy all round.

-Thank you.

-Great, thank you, Will.

-Pleasure.

-We've got our first item.

-Indeed.

That pricey purchase means Geoffrey's blown

almost half his budget on just one item, and in his first shop, too.

-OK.

-Right.

-Onwards and upwards.

Yes, with a lot of our money gone. Oh, dear.

-Bye, Fanny's.

-Off we go.

Back with Pam and James, they're taking a break from shopping

and heading south to Middle Wallop in Hampshire.

In her younger years, Pam was in the RAF,

so James has brought her to the Museum of Army Flying

to find out about the regiment with the briefest of histories,

that helped win World War II.

They're meeting museum curator Susan Lindsay to find out more.

-Hello.

-Please come in.

-Thank you.

This year marks the 75th anniversary

of the formation of the British Glider Pilot Regiment.

With a motto of "Nothing is impossible",

the unit's airborne assaults during the Second World War played

an important part in the Allied forces winning the war.

Susan, I live near the old airfield at Down Ampney in Gloucestershire

and I know lots of gliders went from there during the Second World War.

Why gliders?

Well, gliders were a really effective way of delivering

large numbers of troops, equipment and supplies

for airborne operations.

Because they didn't have engines, they were silent

and, therefore, they provided an element of surprise.

The military use of gliders was a German invention.

Following the end of World War I,

the Treaty of Versailles peace settlement prohibited Germany

from having a powered air force,

so they turned, instead, to gliders to train pilots.

Germany went on to use gliders with great success

during the early stages of the Second World War,

prompting Churchill to call for the formation of a British glider force.

The Glider Pilot Regiment was formed in February, 1942,

and the pilots were drawn from volunteers across the army.

Why the army? I would have thought they'd scour the airforce.

Well, there was some squabbling, when the unit was first set up,

about whether or not the pilots should be army or airforce.

But the nature of a glider operation is that it is, in effect, one-way,

so the pilot has to land the glider

and then get out and fight alongside the troops he's brought into battle,

so it was better that he was a soldier, rather than just a pilot.

Various gliders were used by the Allied forces

but the Airspeed Horsa was Britain's primary combat glider,

which could carry around 28 soldiers and two jeeps.

Towed into the air by powered aircraft,

the gliders would cut loose their tethers,

once near their target, and make controlled crash landings.

So, Susan, this is a Horsa glider.

The cockpit is angled towards us, kind of hinged at the ear.

Is that how you loaded it and then you closed the top like a tin lid?

Absolutely. This is actually a Mark II.

The Mark I gliders had a large door on the side, with a ramp,

and you had to load them that way,

and then, if you wanted to unload them,

you might have to use explosives to take the tail off.

-Obviously, that was unreliable and quite inefficient.

-Yes.

So, for the Mark II, they developed a cockpit that opened like a door

and you could load it from the front.

How amazing. What an ungainly-looking contraption.

What was the first mission they were used in?

Well, the first operation that Horsas were used on

was called Operation Freshman.

This was an operation to try and disable

a heavy water plant in Vemork in Norway.

The reason why that was the target

was because heavy water could be used to develop an atomic bomb.

Two Horsa gliders were used on that operation but, sadly,

very poor weather conditions meant that all aircraft involved crashed

and those who weren't killed during the crash were captured

and subsequently executed by the Germans.

Did the Horsa gliders go on to be considered a success in the end?

They did. It was used in a number of different other operations,

right up until 1945. But, probably, one of the best known

is the capture of the bridge at Arnhem,

and that was really part of a very ambitious plan

to try and drive 30 corps into Germany

to try and finish the war in 1944.

And gliders were involved in landing troops and equipment

and, in fact, the bridge was captured

and it was held for four days but, for a variety of reasons,

the Allied troops were overwhelmed by German opposition

and, in the end, they had to withdraw.

1,300 glider pilots were involved in that operation

-and only approximately 700 came back.

-Oh!

So, they made a massive contribution then, Susan, but at tremendous cost.

They made a massive contribution,

in what was a very new way of delivering troops

and, you're right, at a great loss.

Gliders were never flown operationally

after the Second World War,

with remaining members of the regiment

retrained as light aircraft pilots.

But the glider unit will forever be remembered for their role

in helping win the war, reminding us all, nothing is impossible.

Back on the open road, Geoffrey and Kate are heading

towards their second shop of the day in Eversley in Hampshire.

-Have you always wanted to be an actor?

-No.

I was at school and it's the usual story.

A very enlightened schoolmaster said,

"I'm doing a play at the end of term, Saint Joan,

"and I'd very much like you to play Saint Joan."

Yeah, and I quite enjoyed it.

And then, a couple of years later, he said,

"I'd like you to do Hamlet," so I did Hamlet.

And then he said, "Have you thought of doing this for a living?"

And I hadn't really. And he said, "Try for RADA."

-And 50-odd years later...

-Here you are!

-..I'm still doing it.

And we're mighty glad you are.

Geoffrey and Kate have arrived at their final shop of the day,

Eversley Barn Antiques.

-What do you think?

-Looks good, doesn't it? My word.

Housed inside this 16th-century barn are a wide variety of antiques,

furniture and collectables.

I'd quite like to have a look at those chandeliers as we came in.

-Ooh, OK.

-That's, you see, that's all glass but, of course,...

Little lustre drop. 210, yeah.

You've got expensive taste, Geoffrey.

GEOFFREY LAUGHS

Remember, you've only got £225 left to play with

and you only bought one item so far.

What do you think of that?

Yeah, I mean, for your Radio Times and all the rest of it, yes.

-Yeah. Magazine rack.

-Yeah.

-Bamboo.

Yeah, sort of made to look a bit like tortoiseshell.

Yeah, exactly that.

-But with a basketweave base.

-Good condition, attractive.

The thing I like about it - these little gilt tops

-just finish it off nicely.

-Yes, they do. It's an attractive item.

You do see a few of these around but I have to say

I haven't seen one as nice as this.

-It's just got a little bit of quality about it.

-Yes, it has.

-That might be something to think about.

-What do you think?

-Certainly.

The Edwardian bamboo magazine rack is banked for later. Anything else?

-Napoleon memorabilia.

-Ooh.

-It's a pipe tamper, you know.

-Yes.

You push the tobacco down into the pipe bowl.

Yeah, which isn't really what I'm interested in,

but anything to do with Napoleon is...

There are people out there that collect everything to do with him

-and I think that's a nice little buy.

-Yeah, he's quite small.

He's small but that can be, you know... He WAS small.

THEY LAUGH

-I believe, I'm told.

-And he's rather fun, isn't he?

-Yes, I like him.

I think he's probably late Victorian, if not Edwardian.

-Oh, really?

-I wouldn't say it's the finest casting in the world.

Actually, for 28, you know, it's a nice affordable little...

It's just screaming to be bought..

Mm. I tell you what, while we're at it, I rather like that pocketknife.

-Yeah.

-What do you think about that?

-Like a fish, isn't it?

-It is.

-Yes.

Do you like little pocket knives, fruit knives?

-Yes, and it's in good... There's no damage.

-No.

It's a lovely little silver blade, nicely hallmarked,

-little crown. Can you see it?

-Of course.

It's for Sheffield, 1904, 1905, something like that.

-Right, excellent.

-Lovely little antique piece.

-Carved mother-of-pearl. I think that's sweet.

-I like that,

I like Napoleon, and I want to go to bed.

You've had enough. Are you telling me you've had enough?

Hang on, there's some buying to be done before bedtime.

Let's just hope Hilary can do a dream deal.

With the Edwardian bamboo magazine rack, priced at £75,

the Victorian brass pipe tamper at 28,

and the Edwardian fruit knife, priced at 33,

that's a combined ticket price of £136.

What do you say on all three?

-Well, I could probably do 60 on the magazine rack.

-Yes.

-This Napoleon fellow?

-23 on him.

-That's up to 83.

-83.

-Well, we can probably do 25 on that one.

-That's 108.

-What about a nice...?

-105, how about that? How does that sound?

-I was hoping for about 80.

-Oh, my word!

-I was thinking £100 was top whack, really.

-Really?

-I think £100 is very good.

-Geoffrey's happy.

-I am happy.

-Well, I'm happy.

-Good.

-That's a deal then.

-100.

-Splendid.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

Hey, so ends a very successful first day of shopping

for Geoffrey and Kate, with four items already bagged for auction.

Time now for our weary celebrities and experts

to have a well-earned rest so, nighty-night.

It's the next morning.

Pam and Geoffrey are back together

and making their way to West Wellow

to meet their experts.

Did you have a good day yesterday? Did you buy things of no value?

Probably.

I bought something which is either going to be an inspired purchase

or an absolute catastrophe.

My experience of antiques is

that it's usually the latter of those two choices.

-How did you get on with Geoffrey?

-He's lovely!

-He's super man and he really knows his antiques.

-Does he?

Pam goes straight in, very decisive, warms up the seller

-and then goes in for the jugular.

-Really?

-Yes.

-So, she's a lady on a mission?

-She is. Victory is mine, Kate.

Nothing like being uber-confident there, is there?

Well, you know, it's going to go one of two ways.

I'm either going to win or I'm going to lose.

Time shall soon tell, Mr Braxton.

Geoffrey and Kate have already bagged four items -

the 19th-century French door shutters,

the Napoleon brass pipe tamper,

the Edwardian bamboo magazine rack

and the fruit knife from the same period...

You've got expensive taste, Geoffrey.

..leaving them £125 to spend today.

While James and Pan have only bought two things so far -

the children's porcelain tea set and the teddy bear...

You're a nice boy, you are.

..which means they have £320 still to spend.

As their car went kaput yesterday, we found them a new one,

which Pam is finding a tad confusing.

-Oh, I've turned the wrong...

-Is it raining?

Not the best of starts.

-Here it comes.

-Ooh, you got a green one!

-A little green fellow.

-Ooh, and it's jolly smart.

-And it actually works.

Rubber bumper, a bit later.

-Good morning, good morning.

-Good morning, how you?

-Hi.

-Hello, James.

-Good morning, Pam.

-Good morning.

-Shall we get into the car?

-Oh!

-Come on, Pam, let's go.

-The last one to the shops is a bad egg.

And they're off!

This morning, Geoffrey and Kate will start their shopping

in Ringwood, Hampshire.

So, who have you worked with, Geoffrey,

that you most admire in the acting world?

Oh, you can't say anybody is better than another.

As to people I admire, somebody like Vanessa Redgrave.

-Have you worked with Vanessa Redgrave?

-I have.

-Have you?

-I did a love scene with her.

-Really? So, up close and personal.

-Indeed.

-How was that?

-I was nervous, lent in for, you know, the kiss

and I became aware of a rustling sound.

Suddenly a small furry head appeared from between her bosoms.

-Oh!

-And it turned out to be a ferret.

And it gave the scene a certain intensity

which maybe it had lacked before.

Right... From finding ferrets to finding bargains.

And they've arrived at Lorraine Tarrant Antiques.

Lorraine's. Well, let's take Lorraine by storm.

-Yeah, let's.

-My sweet Lorraine.

Housed in an old stable off the marketplace,

this shop sells all sorts of antiques and collectables.

DOOR GROANS

-Ooh.

-Oh, hello.

-Was that you, Geoffrey?

-No!

How dare you!

DOOR GROANS

-Ooh!

-I told you not to have those fish and chips last night.

-Squeaky cupboard! Gosh, it's crammed in here, isn't it?

-Good Lord, yes.

Now, this cupboard, look. Is that a Baccarat decanter?

-Yeah, decanters aren't particularly buoyant at the moment.

-OK.

-What about...? There's a scent bottle at the back.

-There is.

You know, scent bottles are becoming more and more collectable,

-even the not so old ones.

-Oh, it's Guerlain, is it?

It's Guerlain, French.

It certainly is, one of the world's oldest perfume houses.

It dates back to 1828,

when master perfumier Guerlain created fragrances

for the rich and famous, including Queen Victoria.

-Got the lovely blue lustre...stopper.

-Yeah.

Very classic design. Stopper's all in nice condition,

-by the look of things.

-Yeah.

-It's missing its little label.

-Should there be something there?

-There should be a little gold paper label with the name.

-Yeah, yeah.

I like the colour and that's lovely, isn't it?

It's expensive, priced at £145. But there's a reason for that.

It's not just a scent bottle.

It's a Shalimar scent bottle and it's Baccarat.

Another famous French company.

Baccarat has produced fine glass for over 250 years.

It's definitely '40s. It may be a little bit before that.

So, while they continue sniffing around the perfume bottle,

Pam and James are making their way to their first shop

in Winnal in Winchester.

So, we might find one of your elusive sleepers

-when we go to our next shop.

-Sleeper, that's what we need.

-Funny enough, Pam, I have written a small limerick...

-Have you, by Jove?

-..that includes a sleeper.

-Right.

There was a lady called Ayres

Who never carried no airs

Sleepers she sought

But teddies she bought

And burned clutches unawares.

It wasn't ME who burned the clutch!

-Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.

-No, absolutely.

Unfortunately, that was nothing like a good story, James.

Right, they've arrived at Molly's Den,

with £320 burning a hole in their pockets.

-This is our second shop.

-I know.

-Good luck.

-Let's go and see what we can find.

-Let's get in there.

This vintage and antiques emporium is packed with unique treasures.

Pam and James need to get delving,

as they've only bought two items for auction so far.

-That's very bold.

-I find that a bit gaudy.

-Gaudy.

-It's sort of in-your-face.

-Yes, it is gaudy.

-Tiger.

-Weight is always a really good guide to the material.

-Gosh, it's featherlight.

-We want bargains.

I've got two writing slopes at home cos I like old writing materials,

and that looks sort of a bit like them.

What would you say, is it reproduction or is it 200 years old?

-I don't know. You're the expert.

-Ooh, it's got some weight.

-Has it?

-Let me shift the tiger.

-Shift the tiger.

-Mind the priceless china.

The materials are fine.

It's hardwood, it's brass, but, actually,

-its construction is modern.

-It's, um...a bit shonky.

-Not for us then, James.

-No, we're winners.

-We are winners, we are.

-We are winners.

-Sorry, tiger.

-Come on.

-We're not going to buy anything shonky, are we?

-I should hope not.

Back in Ringwood, something small has caught Geoffrey's eye.

-A little cigar cutter in the bottom.

-This one down here?

-Yes, sweet little mother-of-pearl.

-Well spotted, Geoffrey.

It's rather fun. It's dated 1904 and it says "Singer's" on it.

-It's mother-of-pearl.

-Who cuts cigars now?

But it's an antique item.

Do you know, well spotted, Geoffrey,

because that's quite an unusual little novelty, isn't it?

-I think so.

-I love the mother-of-pearl on it.

-That makes it.

-The mother-of-pearl makes it.

It's beautiful and perfect condition.

And it's still working, isn't it?

Would that snap together, cut a cigar end off?

-Oh, yeah.

-I think you could get the end of a short cheroot.

-Cheroots are the small ones?

-Yes, they are.

Do you know, those would go well with our little fruit knife,

-our little mother-of-pearl. Make a little lot.

-That's a good idea.

-So, I like that, you see, so we've got a bit of a dilemma here.

-Mm.

The cigar cutter is priced at £35.

Along with the perfume bottle they found earlier,

the combined total is £180.

That's 40 more than they can afford.

-What sort of thing could you do?

-Well, I could do...

-Mm...

A straight £100 for the two articles.

It's a very generous offer. I'm happy with it. Take the chance.

They're two nice items. Let's be optimistic.

-I love a bit of optimism.

-Yes?

-Yes.

-Yes!

-Quick, before we change our minds.

So, a saving of £80.

That's Geoffrey and Kate all bought up for auction.

-Bye-bye.

-Bye-bye.

Back in Winnal, Pam's spied an unusual piece of pottery.

I quite like that. I think that's quite shapely.

-And this is made by somebody, isn't it, important?

-Yeah.

-Have I spotted a sleeper, James?

-This could be the sleeper.

-Spode.

-Is it?

Spode began producing pottery in the 18th century

and are credited with perfecting the formula for fine bone china.

-See, I've got an eye for quality.

-It's shell-like.

-Can you hear the sea?

-I can hear the sea.

-Can you?

-I can, actually. I can hear the sea.

-Whistling, isn't it?

I wrote a poem about the sea.

I am Clamp the mighty limpet

I am solid, I am stuck

I am welded to the rock face

With my superhuman suck

Don't you poke or prod me

For I warn you, if you do

You stand there for a fortnight

And I'll come and stick on you.

Let's just double-check, make sure it hasn't been restored.

-HE TAPS ON THE CHINA

-Sometimes you touch something

-and it's just dead.

-A dunk.

-Dunk.

-I think that's all right.

-Good.

-I do like it.

-I have approved your purchase.

-Oh, good.

-How much?

It says vintage Spode, £15.

-I think a fiver.

-A fiver?

-A fiver.

You're bold. A fiver? I wouldn't have the courage to offer a fiver.

No, get in there. Cheeky.

Time to talk to Emma, who knows the vendor of the Spode vase.

Get your brass neck out, Pam.

My expert has advised me,

although I'm embarrassed to say so, to offer you a fiver.

-I can tell you now he will not accept £5.

-He's hard-nosed...

-Yes, he is. £10 will probably be his lowest.

-Ten.

I can give him a call for you and see if they would accept £10 for it.

A quick call to the dealer... and it's good news.

-Yes.

-Lovely!

-You've got it for £10.

-That's terrific, thank you.

-Can I furnish you with the money?

-Absolutely.

-Can I furnish YOU with the money, Emma?

-Oh, absolutely.

-Thank you, Emma.

-Thank you very much. Was it £10 tip as well?

-I'm afraid not.

-Nice try, Emma.

That's another item bought for auction. Great stuff!

Great success. I like that. You're clutching it.

-Hold it tight.

-Oh, yes, I will. I won't graze it.

-That's really nice, isn't it?

-Yes, it is. It's a good one.

Geoffrey and Kate have hit the road again

and made their way to Southampton. Geoffrey's character in the sitcom

Still Open All Hours

is a keen bowler, so Kate's taking him

on a trip to the world's oldest surviving bowling green.

They're meeting archivist at Southampton Old Bowling Green

John Sanders to find out more.

Would you like to come in and see the world's oldest bowling green?

-What a privilege.

-We'd love to.

-Come on in.

-Thank you.

-Thank you so much.

-Super.

-After you.

Although it's said that lawn bowls can be played by anyone

aged from 9 to 90, it does have a reputation of being a game

loved by people in their golden years.

The aim of the game is simple.

Get your bowls as close as possible to the small ball known as the jack.

It might sound easy but, as the bowls don't travel

in a straight line, some serious skill is needed.

Bowls, how did it start? What's the early history of it?

We don't honestly know,

but the assumption is that it started in Egypt

and it was the slaves taking the pieces of stone that were left over

and chipping them round till they get them roughly into a ball shape

and using them to play a form of bowls.

Not the same as today, of course, but a form of bowls.

And then, we believe, that the Romans took it from Egypt

and took it around their empire.

The British went on to become big fans of lawn bowling,

with thousands of clubs across the UK,

and it's been a regular event at the Commonwealth Games

since they began in 1930.

How long has this green existed as an actual bowling green?

Somewhere between 1185 and 1308, something like that,

so we say 1299, just to be a nice round number.

Has bowls been played fairly continuously since then here?

Totally continuously.

We believe that Shakespeare actually played bowls on this green.

His patron was the Earl of Southampton

-and he came down here a lot. He did play bowls, we know.

-Makes sense.

So, we're sure he played on this green.

And in the Second World War,

the one notable thing that happened here

was that a nice little friendly Luftwaffe pilot decided

to drop his last bomb on the corner of the green,

which stopped bowls for about a couple of hours.

Looking at it through the centuries, since the 13th century,

is there a classist association? Was it for the rich and the wealthy?

Most certainly, it was. During the Tudor times,

the kings, and particularly King Henry VIII,

who played bowls himself, he stipulated

that bowls should only be played by the gentry

and those with lots of money, basically,

because he wanted the peasants to do archery,

because that would be useful if they went to war.

Bowls was not going to be useful.

Henry VIII actually insisted that courts fine people,

who were caught playing bowls when they weren't entitled to,

a whopping ten shillings and sixpence,

which would be around £300 in today's money.

We also have here the oldest

continuous bowling competition in the world.

It is bowled for a silver medal, which started in 1776,

and the winner of the silver medal is allowed to be inducted

as a Knight of the Green and must be called Sir

and his wife is called Lady, in proper traditional style.

Mind you, you can't use that outside the green.

It's only inside the green and we've got some rules.

When we meet them for the first time, we've got to call them

Sir Michael or Sir Ken, or whatever. If we don't, we get fined.

What about you, Geoffrey? I can see you as a Knight of the Green.

-Would you fancy that?

-Yes, think I would, actually.

-Could we have a couple of ends now?

-I'm sure we can.

Let's talk to the Master of the Green

and see if we can get his permission.

With the thumbs up from Ken, Master of the Green,

it's time for Geoffrey and Kate to give it a bash.

So, if you're playing forehand, you'll be forehand right-handed.

-Yeah.

-Small one on the inside.

-That's going to go in like that.

-And that will go in like that.

-OK.

If you wanted to play backhand, you just turn it round.

-Don't confuse me.

-OK.

Stand on the mat and then put your left foot forward.

Yeah, OK. Here we go.

Ooh! That's pretty good, Geoffrey!

I tell you what, Ken, I think that's an end to me, isn't it?

-Very good.

-Look at that!

-OK, shall we go now?

GEOFFREY LAUGHS

I am now a Sir, OK?

Right, Kate, give it some welly, love.

Ooh.

-It's got the strength and got the length.

-Oh, it's a bit too far.

-That's going in the ditch.

-Oh, dang.

Ah, maybe a tad too much.

Time for a quick exit, methinks.

Ken, it's been an absolute delight and pleasure and thank you so much.

-My pleasure.

-Thank you very much indeed.

-It's been wonderful.

-Thank you very much.

-Cup of tea, I think.

-Cup of tea.

Meanwhile, Pam and James still have some shopping to do

and are heading to Emsworth in Hampshire.

In your vast repertoire of poetry, Pam,

have you got anything antique related?

I loved an antique dealer

I loved him heart and soul

Although he was bow-fronted

And his legs were cabriole

His eyes, they were cross-banded

And his surface was distressed

But he was nicely moulded

With a sturdy little chest

But on examination, there were several things he lacked

I found him dummy-fronted

And I found him spindle-backed

So I sent him off to auction

And I've had a note from there

To say he's on a pedestal

In Weston-super-Mare.

That's lovely!

I think I could get used to having a resident poet on the Road Trip.

Right, Pam and James have arrived at Emsworth Antiques Etc,

with £300 available to spend. And I'm expecting them to buy big.

-Yes, I can feel a bargain coming on.

-A bargain.

I said big, not bargain.

Home to the collectables of over 25 dealers,

there's plenty to choose from.

Quite nice little evening bags, if I was going to a soiree.

But I don't go to many soirees.

Just the thing if I was intending to have a life in vice.

She has an eye for humour,

both in words and in objects.

I rather like that one.

He sort of looks as though he's saying,

"I know something you don't, my dear."

He looks as though he might go out in the middle of the night

-to tickle trout where he's not supposed to.

-Now, there's an image.

Anything else you like, Pam?

This steam traction engine here,

and I like this because it reminds me

of the ones that used to come to the farm over the road

from where we lived in our village.

I love them because they actually work.

I don't necessarily think this one works

but I'm sure it could be made to work.

-Apparently, this one's from about the '50s.

-That is lovely, isn't it?

-I like it. I do like it. Do you approve, James?

-I do approve.

-Oh, good.

-That's very nice.

-I like that. It's interesting.

And there are lots of enthusiasts, aren't there,

who collect steam paraphernalia?

It's quite a sweet thing. What price have we got?

-This says £85 on it.

-Yeah, £85.

Before you try to do a deal on the traction engine,

James quite fancies a couple of jars.

-Gosh, it's heavy.

-It is heavy.

-It's really heavy. Oh, there's two of them.

-Yeah.

The golden rule to buying antiques, by Braxton, is by weight.

They're known as Prattware. These were sort of jars.

Lots of companies commissioned them.

You might have cosmetic things or fish paste.

Various things were put in these things

-and they would have had a lid on the top.

-Right.

They're printed and they were printed in the mid-19th century,

-Victorian times.

-They're nice, aren't they?

-The colours are beautiful.

-Yeah. Badly damaged, isn't it?

-It's damaged.

-They're bashed around.

-Yeah, they've been a bit beaten up.

How much do they cost, James?

-They're 30 quid each.

-£30 each. Gosh.

Do you think these would be a good thing for me to buy?

-I think they might be a nice thing.

-They're unusual, aren't they?

But first, Hilary is calling the vendor

of the £85 traction engine to broker a deal.

It's your favourite expert. Yes, it's James Braxton.

And it's your favourite poet, Pam Ayres.

Ah, what a combination!

I will let them know. Thank you so much. Bye.

Since it's you two, 40.

Oh, my goodness! Beyond our wildest dreams!

Beyond our wildest hopes!

We are the proud owners of a traction engine.

-Oh, a traction engine.

-So, 40. We'll take that.

Thank you very much.

And what could you do on the recovered pots?

They're 30 each, which would make 60.

How do you feel about 35?

-How do you feel about 35?

-I think it's an extraordinarily kind offer.

-I think it's a very kind offer.

-Thank you, Hilary.

-We accept, with gratitude.

-May I shake your hand?

-You may.

-Thank you.

-May I also shake your hand?

-Thank you.

-Never going to wash.

I would.

There you have it.

£75 means Pam and James are all bought up for auction. Hurrah!

Right, time for our teams to reunite and show off their buys.

I love this bit.

-Come on, let's get this cloth off.

-Ooh!

-There we are. Look at that.

-What do you think, Geoffrey?

-A bear of character.

-That is a large bear!

He's laying there, looking a bit corpse-like.

-Is that one of Watt's original engines?

-Absolutely.

Yes, well done.

-It's very nice. And a tiny little...

-Anyone for tea?

A little tea. And the rest is pots, really, isn't it?

Pots. And you can hear the sea in that.

-You can hold it to your ear.

-You put things in there, do you?

-It's a cornucopia.

-A cornucopia.

-Come on, let's see your goodies.

-Are you ready?

Let's have a look at yours. We certainly are.

I'm going to gingerly... Here we go. Because ours are rather fragile.

-That's pretty.

-That's very pretty.

-Ta-da!

You're rather into bamboo, aren't you?

-I love bamboo!

-But, there's more.

More?

-Ta-da!

-Oh, you've become all architectural on us.

-Indeed.

-A pair of...

-Locked doors and shuttered windows.

-Yes.

-Gosh!

-And don't forget these small items.

-No.

They're lovely. I can see, Geoffrey, you're quite proud of your items.

-Well, I owe a lot to my expert.

-I like the perfume bottle.

-I think that's very, very pretty.

-Do you, Pam?

-Yes.

-How much was it?

-Er, go on.

Well, it was 90. But it's a jolly good name, look.

-Guerlain.

-Fresh from Paris.

And what about your louvred doors?

-My shutters?

-Your shutters.

My shutters were rather expensive

and I think they ran at £175.

-Possibly.

-Oh, heavens!

-Stop smiling, Pam.

-No, no.

-GEOFFREY:

-I heavily invested in those.

If we going to do it, we do it big.

Well, if you want to a battle, you've got one, you know.

OK, before we go, I'm just going to read you my little verse,

which I have composed for the occasion.

James is suave and very nice

I hope he gave me good advice

My sales will make poor Geoffrey gulp

And beat my rival to a pulp.

-What do you think?

-Very good.

We'll see you in Cirencester.

-JAMES:

-I'm loving the "suave".

AS PAM: Time now to tell the truth and no lies

What do they really think of each other's buys?

-So, what do you think of their items?

-We've nothing to worry about.

I love the perfume bottle.

It's such a lovely classic shape, very beautiful.

The bear's nice, you know. Amusing. But really, there's no comparison.

I mean, the shutters alone.

The shutters, I'm concerned about.

Seems an awful lot of money for a pile of old wood,

but I may be proved horribly wrong.

-We've definitely got better quality.

-Yes.

But I don't think they've spent very much money,

so it could be all about the shutters,

and if the shutters are a goer, no question, we're ahead.

Cirencester will buy those shutters.

-Do you think we'll beat them to a pulp?

-Probably, she says.

I don't know, I don't know.

I'm usually wrong, but we can only be optimistic.

Go on, let's go to the auction.

After starting in Sparsholt,

our teams have shopped around Berkshire and Hampshire

and Pam and Geoffrey are now motoring

towards Cirencester for the big finale.

-We're steaming up, Pam.

-It seems to be a way of life for us.

We get in a car and the windows steam up.

Well, what does that tell you?

I'd rather not speculate. Have you got any experience of auctions?

I do. I go quite frequently, but not to sell.

I've got so much stuff that I should sell, I think like most people.

But I buy a lot.

Well, remember, selling is the name of the game today.

Kate and James have already arrived

at Moore Allen & Innocent's auction room

and are waiting patiently for their celebrity partners.

Do you think the car's broken down?

Thankfully not, Kate. Here they come.

-Well done.

-Good morning! Good morning.

-Good morning.

-Come on in. It's all happening.

-Elegantly.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-Nice to see you.

-This is it.

-Very good.

On this Road Trip, Pam and James spent £165 on five auction lots.

Geoffrey and Kate also bought five lots,

but they spent a whopping £375.

The man with the gavel is Philip Allwood,

so what does he make of everyone's lots?

Mamod traction engine. I had one of these as a kid. Great.

One thing you need, to really get people going,

is the little turny bit on the top that helps you steer it,

which is missing, and the box.

But maybe £50 to £80, that sort of level.

The box makes all the difference with these things.

The wooden shutters, I do like.

They've got all the original metalwork, really quite a nice pair.

I wouldn't expect them to do great guns.

£70 to £90, £80 to £100, that sort of level, around there.

Right, it's the moment of truth.

Time for the auction, which has buyers online and in the room.

-You excited?

-I am.

First up, Pam's porcelain children's tea set.

£5. A bid there at 5.

At 5, 6, 10 on the net now. 10. 12, do mean?

-12. At £12.

-Go on!

-You're hovering.

At £12, are you all sure? It's right in front of me then.

-I'm happy with 12.

-At 12.

Well!

-GEOFFREY:

-Well done, Pam.

-JAMES:

-Well done, Pam.

-Yeah.

-Very good.

-Thank you.

-Well done.

-Very good.

Very good indeed.

Pam's more than doubled her money on her first lot.

-That was a good start, wasn't it?

-Good start.

I've got the scent of victory in my nostrils.

Speaking of scent, next up is Geoffrey's vintage perfume bottle.

£20, I'm bid there. At £20. 5, if you like now. At £20.

-5, thank you, madam.

-Bidder over there. 25.

-Geoffrey, you're off now.

30 to me now. At £20. 30.

-5. At 35. 40, if you like.

-Come on.

Come on!

All sure? It's on my left, at 35.

35.

Rotten luck, old chap.

It's the rough-and-tumble, Geoffrey, you know.

We've still got the shutters to come.

That's it. Positive thinking, Geoffrey.

Up next are the Prattware jars that James fancied.

Watch and learn, watch and learn.

-£20. At £20, I'm bid, thank you.

-Oh, we're off.

30. 5. 40.

At £40, here on my left now. 5, if you like now.

At £40. It's the lady's bid in front of me then. £40.

-God bless you, madam.

-Yeah, absolutely.

-It made a fiver.

-Selling it, make no mistake, at £40.

Are you all sure at 40?

-GEOFFREY:

-Made a mistake.

Well, I didn't think that was going to happen.

You did pick them, James. Another small profit for team Pam there.

Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves.

You've got to make some pennies first though.

Let's hope Geoffrey can get off the mark

with his Edwardian bamboo magazine rack.

At £20, I have here. 25 anywhere?

At £20 for the Canterbury. At £20. 5, thank you.

See, hands everywhere, Geoffrey. Hands everywhere.

At £30, £30 here. All sure now then?

Selling right in front me then, at 30. Are you all done here now?

-At 30.

-What a steal!

-That is a steal. There is no accounting for taste.

-No.

I'm sorry, Geoffrey. I am sorry.

Don't get too disheartened yet, Geoffrey.

There's still time to make a comeback.

-That's a shame.

-Ridiculous!

Pam's up next, this time it's her Spode cornucopia-shaped vase.

-£5, I'm bid there. 7. 10 on the net now.

-10.

-12, if you like now.

At £10 it is, on the net here, for this Spode. At £10. 12 anywhere?

All sure then? It's selling here at £10. It's on the net now.

You're all out in the room. At £10. You all sure, for a tenner?

-Oh.

-The hammer's down.

Not quite the result Pam was hoping for, but it could be worse.

She could be in Geoffrey's shoes.

Have you got up to £100 yet?

We're a long way off, Geoffrey.

Right, Geoffrey, can you finally find a profit

with your Napoleon brass pipe tamper?

At £10. Gentleman's bid at £10, at the back there.

At £10. 12, if you like now. At 12, thank you. 15.

18. At 18. 20. At £20, at the back now. 25 now?

-I laughed too soon.

-25, Geoffrey.

At £25. It's here on my left then, at 25.

-Thank you, sir.

-Well, it's a profit.

-Well done.

-Well done.

-A profit.

-Well done.

At last, a profit for Geoffrey.

You've done this before, Geoffrey, haven't you, eh?

Play nice, James.

Time to see what the people of Cirencester make

of Pam's model steam traction engine.

£30. £30, I'm bid here, on the net now. £30. 5 anywhere now?

It should have its starting handle. It should have a starting handle.

35, here. 40 now. At 40, thank you.

45. 50. 5. At 55.

I didn't think this was going to happen.

They're building up steam, Pam.

Yeah, they're building up a good head of steam.

£55, right in front of me now. All sure then?

Selling at 55.

-Steady.

-Not bad.

-Well done, Pam.

Not bad. Not a disgrace.

Certainly not. That's another profit for Pam.

-We're making steady progress.

-Steady progress.

-See, we weren't rash like some people.

-Yes.

Right, Geoffrey, can you make two profits in a row

with your Edwardian fruit knife and cigar cutter?

£20, I'm bid, thank you. At £20. 5, if you like, madam. 5.

-You're off now.

-25. 30, if you like. 30. At £30. 5.

At 35, on my right now. 40, if you like.

-Geoffrey, we're in profit!

-Oh.

-Profit!

-At 35. 40 now?

-I'm a very worried woman.

-35, here are my right then.

-KATE:

-Come on!

All sure now then? At 35, are you all done?

-35.

-Not bad.

-Well done.

-Not bad.

Smile, Geoffrey. Any profit is a good profit.

I've had it with antiques!

Now, don't be downhearted. It's not all over yet.

Although it nearly is for Pam, as it's time for her final lot,

her beloved teddy bear.

£20, a bid there, thank you. At £20. 5, anyone now? At 25. 30 now?

At £30, a bid here. At £30. 5, anywhere now?

At £30, it is, right in front of me then. Selling here. Made a mistake.

-Thought it might make a little more.

-Not my bear!

Are you all sure? At 30.

-Oh!

-Oh, Pam.

-Shame!

-Now you know how I feel.

No wonder Teddy looked sad. That's a disappointing loss for Pam.

Geoffrey, I can see a little smile.

No, not at all!

A smile of triumph is flickering over your lips, Geoffrey.

Time for the biggie, Geoffrey's priciest and last lot -

the 19th-century French shutters.

Will his big gamble pay off?

Start me at 100. 100, they'd be cheap. 100.

-Oh, nothing.

-Yes, £100, a bid here.

-See, you'll see.

-Well done.

-I'm feeling very nervous.

At £100. It looks cheap at £100.

110, if you like. £100, it is here.

-Maiden bid, on the net now. At £100.

-They're missing such a chance.

At £100, you all sure?

£100! Actually, I'm surprised cos they look a bit ramshackle to me.

-Oh, Pam!

-Oh, Pam!

Ooh, what's she like? And before we find out who's won,

Pam's got something to say.

Have the shutters closed on Geoffrey's hopes?

My bitter rival, is he on the ropes?

Has my teddy thrown my hopes away

Or will we live to bid another day?

Let's find out, shall we?

Geoffrey and Kate started with £400.

After paying auction costs, they sadly made a loss of £190.50,

ending their trip with £209.50.

Pam and James also kicked off with £400

and, unfortunately, also made a loss of £44.46.

As their loss was less, they're crowned today's winning losers,

if you get my drift, finishing with £355.54.

-We won!

-We won, we won!

-Congratulations!

-We won.

So, with Pam victorious,

it's time for our celebrities to bid a fond farewell.

Geoffrey, beware of architectural salvage.

-Yes.

-Architectural salvage.

-I'm sad it's over.

-I'm sad it's over. Bye.

Have you enjoyed doing the Road Trip with me?

I have, absolutely. It's been one of the highlights of my career.

I expect there'll be a spin-off.

Something's going to happen from this, Pam.

And I've liked being with you

because I think you're very nice and you make me laugh.

Well, what can one say about the legend that is Pam Ayres?

Not much.

Until next time, toodle-pip, Road Trippers.