Will Axon v Paul Hayes - Auction Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

This is Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is,

the show that pitches TV's best-loved antiques experts

against each other in an all-out battle for profit...

Elementary, my dear dealers.

..and gives you the insider's view of the trade.

HE CHUCKLES

HE GROWLS

Each week, one pair of duelling dealers

will face a different daily challenge...

Catch me if you can!

The Axeman cometh.

..putting their reputations on the line...

Argh! Ready for battle!

..and giving you their top tips and savvy secrets

on how to make the most money from buying and selling.

Get in!

Today, it's that mild-mannered man from Morecambe Paul Hayes

versus the wonderful wizard of Newmarket Will Axon.

Coming up, Paul's bidding gets out of control...

-At £270 now.

-One more.

-£290.

-One more.

-At £290.

..Will reveals his secret identity...

Witness The Axeman!

..and Paul confronts a comedy legend.

Ah! I've been expecting you, Mr Hayes.

This is Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

Welcome, thrill-seekers and antiques-lovers.

It's time to batten down the hatches and bolt the doors

as two raving axles of antiques rev up their engines

in an ultimate contest to buy, sell and make money.

First up, the low rumbling of doom heralds the arrival

of a ballistic buyer and sartorial seller.

Fantastic. Jolly good show.

Up against Paul, a full-throttle, breakneck dealer from Newmarket

who can turn a profit on a sixpence.

Rock'n'roll.

Today, these storming giants will be battling it out

to see who ends up with the greatest profit.

They've arrived at Stacey's Auctioneers in Essex

to see who can ride off with the best buys

and who's likely to crash and burn.

They've each got £1,000 of their own money to spend,

and all the profits will go to their chosen charities.

So, Paul Hayes and Will Axon,

it's time to Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

-Ah, Mr Morecambe.

-Good morning, Will.

-How are you?

-I'm very well. Yourself?

Really looking forward to it. It's an auction today.

-Can you feel the tension?

-A bit.

I always find them a bit tricky, the auctions.

You don't buy the lots you come to buy.

You buy the lots around it, so let's hope we see something special.

-Are you ready for this?

-Course I am.

-Come on then, mate.

Yes, on the surface of it,

these two are all smiles and backslapping.

But scratch that gleaming veneer

and you'll find nothing but raw competitive spirit.

And today, they've got their fair share of competition

not just from each other, but from a room full of hopefuls,

phone bidders and online bidders.

So, what's Will's plan of attack today?

I'm going to take my inspiration from this drum kit

and go rock'n'roll.

I'm going to splash out on the things I like.

I may have to suffer the consequences later,

but at the auction, as well as running out of time,

we run out of lots

and I don't want to be left with the dregs at the end.

Paul is also showing that it's not his first time

on this side of the gavel as he reveals his road map to profit.

It really does pay to do your homework

before you come to the auction.

I've made a list of about six items that I actually want to buy,

but of course, I'm not guaranteed to get that.

Lots of other people are doing the same thing.

So, what I always do is have a good look round,

see what else jumps out

and that's probably more than likely what I'm going to go home with.

Our lads are soon perusing the possibilities

and Paul has found a job lot of old posters

estimated at £80 to £120,

including one with particular appeal.

These guys are mainly from Liverpool.

We've got Cilla Black, we've got PJ Proby.

I've even got a friend of mine here.

He used to be the drummer in The Remo Four.

These were all guys that were around The Cavern

around that early, exciting, 1960s Merseybeat.

Just great things to have.

I love the artwork. I love the '50s, '60s nostalgia.

This has got my name all over it.

"Appearing here soon," with a bit of luck.

Yes, Paul is on familiar turf with his '60s memorabilia,

but Will is scaling new heights to find the things he likes.

Ooh, now, I've just climbed onto a chair

to have a closer look at this clock which caught my eye.

Looking at the case - all in good order.

Rosewood, mother-of-pearl inlaid

and also it's signed Newmarket, which, for a local lad, is nice.

One or two losses to be expected but generally not in bad condition.

Needs a bit of TLC, but I like a project.

The clock is estimated at £200-£250.

Across the way, Paul has some World War II nostalgia

in his sights.

OK, now, I think I've found a little real gem here,

a real piece of aviation history.

This is a beautiful print of a painting done by Robert Taylor,

but it features two of the most prominent fighter pilots

of that period.

This one here, the British guy is Douglas Bader,

the most famous pilot.

He lost both his legs during the Second World War

and he made friends with Adolf Galland,

who was the German pilot. The estimate's quite heavy.

It's £200-£300, which is a lot of money,

but for the calibre of names that are on this, it's priceless.

But it's going to be a bit of a dogfight for this one, I think.

Paul is anticipating a battle ahead, but Will has found a new friend.

I love this robot figure, don't you? He's a Japanese tin plate robot.

I don't think he's brand-new.

Even so, he's got the look, hasn't he?

You turn the key, you flick the switch and off he goes.

-ROBOTIC VOICE:

-Paul Hayes, exterminate!

Paul Hayes, exterminate!

Yes, I think you and me are going to get on.

Both our experts have finely-tuned ears

when it comes to finding bargains and making money.

And now that Will and Paul have perused their pieces

and the room has filled up,

the auctioneer takes to the rostrum and the auction is go.

And first to come up is the mother-of-pearl clock

that Will spotted earlier.

It's estimated between £200 and £250,

and Will's hoping for the lowest possible price

as he needs to clock up a profit when it comes to selling.

£170. £180 is in the room.

But it looks like Will has stiff competition from a phone bidder.

£250. £260. £270. £280.

He's slowing up a bit on the phone now.

-No, we're out.

-At £280 now, the bid is in the room.

Are we all done now? I shall sell. The hammer is up at £280, then.

Will wins his first lot

and pays £336 for the clock with auction costs -

way over the estimate.

Could have got it a bit cheaper

if it hadn't been for that pesky phone bidder.

Well, at least I wasn't the only one who thought it was a nice piece.

The phone bidder may have pushed up the price,

but at least Will has his first purchase.

Paul is still yet to get going.

The clock is ticking, but before Paul has a chance to bid,

Will is bidding on a Bulova Accutron desk clock.

He wins the lot for £114 after costs.

So, why did he buy it?

It's super quality, Bulova, Accutron movement,

which was a sort of horological revolution, really.

So, I'm hoping I'm going to find someone

who's got an eye for style and quality.

A bit like yours truly.

With Will's buying well underway,

it's no wonder Paul is feeling flustered.

-£220.

-Gosh, he's bought two things. I haven't bought anything yet.

Paul may well panic, as Will wins another lot.

And would you believe it? It's another clock.

This one is a Jaeger desk clock for £144.

When it comes to clocks, the name you want to see is Jaeger-LeCoultre.

Super quality, top-end maker and just look at that style.

I love this brushed chrome and this lapiz-type dial.

I mean, I haven't seen another one. Have you?

With his three timely purchases to Paul's none,

you might think that Will could relax,

but it seems that Captain Paranoia has set in.

Where's Paul? Has he bought anything yet?

MUSIC: Back Stabbers by The O'Jays

I think he's trying to lull me into a false sense of security.

All right, mate? Amazing.

Whether Paul is really plotting or not,

Will is the next to strike again when he finds another item.

This time, it's not a clock but a child's leather chair.

I'm tempted, you know.

I do like it and, at £30 to £50, it could be a cheeky little steal.

At £25. It's bid at £25 now. £28... Thank you. ..I've got in the room.

Internet bid is £30 against you, sir.

-£32 back in the room.

-Internet.

It's just the sort of thing that's going to appeal

to a buyer online, isn't it? Young, funky thing.

-Go on, then. Bang your hammer down.

-Last opportunity.

Hammer's up and selling at £38.

-9312.

-Right.

After auctions costs, Will pays £45.60 for the 1970s leather chair

so does he still think it's groovy when he sees it up close?

Now, we all know that the retro look is very on trend,

so my attention was caught by this child's chair.

It's a leather upholstered tub chair with this almost tulip base.

What better thing to give your child

to pass on that love of all things vintage?

So, Will has four lots to Paul's none,

but the ever unflappable Mr Morecambe

is now ready to get off the starter's blocks

and go after a collection of pictures,

including some Laurel & Hardy prints.

At £50, there's a commission bid. £55. £60. £65. £70. £75, I'm out.

At £75 at the back of the room now. Are we all done?

Hammer's up, then, at £75. That's yours.

Paul wins the bid and pays £90 after costs

for the collection of framed pictures.

So, is he happy with his lot?

We got two of the world's most famous comedians here - Laurel & Hardy.

How fantastic were these guys?

Interestingly, Stan Laurel was born not a million miles away from me

in a place called Ulverston.

They have a big museum and there are lots of collectors up there.

But we've got two or three really good quality Laurel & Hardy items.

I've also got some advertising signs and some early comics, all right?

So, this is a good little lot

and it'll probably be another fine mess I've got myself into.

Ooh!

Paul has picked up his first purchase,

but now it's that signed Robert Taylor print

that he saw earlier on.

He really wants this.

It's estimated at between £200 and £300,

but as he starts going after it,

he realises there's more interest in the room than he was hoping for.

I am going to try and stick my neck out on this next one.

-Bid on this. £190. Thank you, sir. £200.

-It goes up and up...

-£220.

-He's having a go on this.

-£230.

-..and up.

-£240. £250.

-At £250 now. It's a front-row bid at £250.

-One more.

-£260 against you, sir. £270.

-No.

-The battle's off.

-That was actually a dogfight. Go on. One more.

-£280. £290.

-One more.

-At £290.

-It looks like he might win...

-£310.

-No.

-No.

..but in the end, Paul crashes and burns.

Did you notice he said, "One more," about five times?

HE LAUGHS

Yes, Paul is devastated to have been outbid.

He's really struggling today, but Will is swinging from bid to bid.

And next up, it's a reprint from a Spider-Man comic

with an upper estimate of £50.

Any advances? At £25. £28... Thank you. ..is on my left now.

At £28 now, are we all done?

Going to sell, then, at £28. All done.

9312.

Will swings in and snatches the bid under estimate,

paying £33.60 in total.

So, is he happy with his catch?

Now, this caught my eye as I was wandering round the saleroom.

Big, brash and bright,

it's a reprint of the front cover of the Marvel comic

which first introduced Spider-Man.

Now, Spider-Man, created by Stan Lee and Ditko,

came into his being here on the August edition

of Amazing Fantasy, and here he is in all his glory.

He's talking about teenage angst

and how he's going to turn that energy into being a crime fighter.

I know a Spidey fan,

so I think I might have to swing into action on this one.

And Will's superhero purchase brings us to the halfway mark

of this buying action, so let's see who's on course

to save the day and who's got caught in a web.

Paul and Will each started the day with £1,000 of their own money.

Paul Hayes has been slow off the starter's marks

and bought only one item, spending £90,

leaving him with a whopping £910 to play with.

Will Axon has bought an amazing five items, but spent £673.20,

which leaves him with £326.80 still to spend.

Both our boys are being forced

to fight off a fair bit of competition today

but Paul is hoping to catch up now as he sets his sights on a new lot.

This is a job lot of 20 first edition books

from the author Stephen King

and the estimate is £40 to £60, which is two pounds a book.

If they go for that sort of price, they're a bargain.

I've got to buy them. They're calling to me.

-I've got to buy them.

-These trade in at £30.

£30, I'm bid. Thank you, sir. £32 anywhere?

£32 on the internet against you, sir.

He might want them, but with bidders in the room

and on the internet, it's a buyers' brawl.

£60. £60. Gentleman standing at £60. Any advances?

Are we all done? Are we all finished?

-At £60, hammer's going down.

-GAVEL BANGS

Paul wins the Stephen King books for £72,

just a little over what he was hoping.

He must be happy.

These were a bit of a panic buy.

They're 20 first editions of Stephen King,

the great horror writer and I can't believe they're so cheap.

What I really like about them is they're in excellent condition.

They've got their dust jackets with them,

they're a very well-known author

and I think these are going to be a real winner.

Not a horror story, this one. Believe me.

WOLF HOWLS

And while he's on the book trail,

Paul spies another lot with potential -

a hardback copy of Ian Fleming's The Spy Who Loved Me.

Must start the bidding at £80. £85 anywhere?

Hear me at £80. The maiden bid. £85. Thank you.

£90 is against you, sir. £95. £100. £110, I am out.

-£110.

-£110 in the room. £120 anywhere?

Are we all done at £110?

£120 against you. New bidder. £130. £140.

-£150. £160.

-No.

-Ah, pulled out.

-£160. Are we all done? Are we all finished?

-One more.

-Ooh, no, he's back in again.

-£170 against you. He's out.

-Oh, I've got it.

-At £170 knockout bid.

Are we all done at £170?

-Hammer's going down.

-GAVEL BANGS

And he's won it.

He pays £204 for the book so he's in 00-heaven.

There we are, Miss Moneypenny.

I'm delighted that I managed to get this first edition of James Bond -

Ian Fleming's The Spy Who Loved Me. My favourite film, actually.

But, of course, this is the original book from 1962.

But what I love about it is the fact it's in great condition.

I think it's a great selling item. So, move over, Roger Moore.

There's a new James Bond on the scene - 006.5.

I've got a licence to deal.

Agent Hayes is pleased with his book

but a signed White Hart Lane sign has caught Will's eye.

It's just the kind of sporting memorabilia

that will appeal to the right Spurs fan

and Will's hoping it will be an easy goal

-when it comes to buying it.

-WHISLTE BLOWS

And the ref's whistle signifies the start of the match.

£20. Any advances, please, at £20?

Axeman FC scores an early goal.

-£24 online. £25, I've got.

-Oh, online bidders.

Ooh! But his opponent equalises.

£32 against you, sir. £35.

And as we enter extra time, he nudges another one

into the back of the net

and wins the lot.

-Hammer's going down.

-GAVEL BANGS

Let's see that action again.

Beautiful.

Shame it wasn't Morecambe FC. Come on, you reds!

Will gets the Spurs sign for £42

and he's got his tactics all worked out.

I know a particular football fan

that would go mad for something like this.

2013/14 season but even so,

I think that would grace his bedroom beautifully.

So, Will had a game plan all along.

It does help to have a buyer in mind.

Now, Paul is hoping to score a winning goal

when he takes the 1960s posters he saw earlier

for a fab-tastic £156.

Will is way ahead in the buying stakes,

but Paul is a magnanimous competitor.

I think it's Will's day today.

I think he's had a bit of insider knowledge, I think.

But fair play to him. I think he's done really well.

He seems to have bought lots of things early on in this sale

so he can relax a little bit now.

But it's not over just yet, you know.

Yes, that's very true, Paul,

but that does mean you need to get bidding.

Will's next, though,

as that Japanese robot that he saw earlier goes up.

It's estimated at £30 to £50, but yet again, Will has competition.

Are we all done at £40? £42. £45 against you, sir. £48.

-And £50 is bid. And £55.

-It's a telephone bidder. Look.

-£60 bid against you. £65.

-BIDDER: £70.

-£70 against you.

-£80.

-£80.

-£90.

-£90.

-Oh!

WILL SIGHS

-One more.

-£100 is bid.

-£110, sir.

-£110.

-Oh, he wants it, doesn't he?

-£120.

-£130, sir.

No. After that, no.

£120 now in the room with the gentleman.

At £120, are we all done? Are we all finished at £120?

Will wins the lot for £144,

considerably higher than the estimate.

So, is Will happy with his new robot friend?

I'm not sure how old he is.

I'm going to have to do a bit of research

but he's really well made -

almost too well - to be a reproduction one.

So, I'm going to have to do a bit of digging about once I get him home.

But for someone who loves robots and science fiction,

he's a must to add to your collection, isn't he?

With the auction approaching its conclusion,

Paul is pleased when he picks up an old teaching aid for £45.60,

but what exactly has he bought?

These are called magic lanterns

and the idea was that they would use a lens,

a bit like we have a projector today,

but in the back here would be a gas lamp or perhaps even a candle

which would project your light.

Lots of them tend to be to teach you the Bible, religious studies.

So, these were something that were phased out, really,

in the 1920s, 1930s and we moved on to different formats.

Time is running out so Paul does one last sweep

to find anything else worth spending his money on.

There are two stained glass windows. Nice, small ones.

One has a picture of a cottage. The other of a landscape.

They're in good condition.

Back of the room at £42. £45 anywhere?

Are we all done? Your bid, sir. At £42, the hammer's going down.

£45 on the internet just in time. Sorry, sir.

-£48 if you like.

-£48.

-£48 is bid. At £48 now.

Are you finished online? It's in the room at £48.

£48. Go on. Put your hammer down.

-GAVEL BANGS

-Thank you, sir. That's yours.

Paul wins the windows and pays £57.60 sight unseen,

but has he got a cracking deal?

When you hold them to the light, look at that.

How fantastic are those? Absolutely beautiful.

They're 19th century.

They probably come from a large family estate or a large house,

and what I like about them - they're a nice, small size.

So, they're hand-painted stained glass,

dating from the 19th century and a bit of a bargain, I think.

There we are. Smashing. I hope not!

Well, both our boys have fought hard at today's auction,

but it's Paul who makes the final purchase

to bring this whirlwind of bidding to a close.

Our two challengers each started the day

with £1,000 of their own money to spend.

After a slow start, Paul Hayes picked up pace

and bought six items for £625.20.

Axon finished with seven items

and forked out £859.20.

But it's not all about who spent the most.

It's about who's going to make the biggest profit.

-Phwoar! Day done.

-I tell you, it's never been as difficult.

I missed out on loads of things I'd have loved to have brought home,

but, gosh, what do you do?

Well, you ended up with a pretty good selection.

I'm quite pleased with what I got. What's your favourite thing?

I'm quite pleased with what I got. I mean, I love this clock.

I've got a pretty good idea of where I'm going to try and sell that.

-I mean, it's signed Newmarket. How could I not buy it?

-Right.

I tried to buy across the board.

The only thing I really stuck my neck out

is the James Bond first edition The Spy Who Loved Me.

-Remember the film?

-Of course. What about least favourite?

-It has to be the magic lantern.

-Really?

I mean, I saw you go for those. Any decent subjects in the slides?

Unfortunately not, but there's lots of them.

-What about yourself?

-Well, I'm thinking probably...

I mean, I'm not really a football fan,

so probably the White Hart Lane sign.

But it's all about the profit,

so I was buying with my head, not my heart, on that lot.

Well, looking at what we bought and spread on this table,

-it's a pretty eclectic mix, Paul.

-It certainly is.

I had that once, you know. Got some cream off the doctor.

-It cleared up nicely.

-Go on. Get out of here.

-That eclectic mix gets everywhere, mate.

-Get out of here!

The buying sky is clear now,

but a tumultuous tsunami of selling is set to descend

as we enter the second half of this competition,

when it's the biggest profit that will secure a win.

Hayes and Axon now head home to assess their acquisitions.

And back in Morecambe, Paul is preparing for his selling adventure.

So, are you sitting comfortably? The show is about to begin.

We have the magic lanterns all fired up,

ready to display their wonderful pictures.

And, of course, we've advertised well using the posters.

And the main attraction's here,

which is Morecambe's answer to Richard Gere.

These posters have turned out to be better than I thought.

I bought them originally for this one here,

The Remo Four, the Brian Epstein acts.

Fantastic. Dead trendy.

Amongst them are two posters which represent acts

here at the Winter Gardens in Morecambe.

How great is that? I bought them down in Southend.

The magic lanterns, unfortunately, with them being religious,

they won't be quite as easy to sell.

I've had a couple of knock backs already on these.

I was going to have them framed up but it wouldn't warrant the cost.

The books - great. I've got 20 editions of Stephen King.

First editions. Wonderful. But they're only worth one of these.

This has to be the show stopper.

This is The Spy Who Loved Me by Ian Fleming from 1962.

Overall, it's great. It's on with the show.

And Paul's selling show will also include

the stained glass window panels,

the Beano posters and the Laurel & Hardy postcards.

So, how's Will doing down in Newmarket?

Now, I know it's a bit traditional

compared to what I usually buy, but I had to have this clock. Why?

Well, because it's signed F Crick, Newmarket.

I couldn't turn it down. It was fate.

And at the other end of the scale,

I've got my two very stylish 20th-century desk clocks.

Good names - Bulova and Jaeger.

And at the time these were bought new,

they would have been expensive and top-notch quality.

Well, I'm not going to have any trouble selling my Tottenham sign

signed by all the players

and with its certificate of authenticity

because I bought that with a man in mind.

He's a mad Tottenham fan as well as being a football coach.

I just hope I don't score an own goal with it.

And, um...

Oh, yeah, I'm sitting on it.

My rather funky child's tub chair. 1960s. Tulip design foot there.

It's really funky and got that retro feel about it.

I love it and to be honest, it's pretty comfortable.

But if it is an original,

it will need to be up to current fire regulations.

Will also has the Spider-Man poster

and the vintage clockwork robot to sell.

Our two tussling tornados of talent must hit the phones,

the internet and the road to find the right buyer for each item.

They'll be hoping to raise enough money to come out on top

in today's competition,

but remember, no deal is sealed until the shake of a hand.

And Paul is the first on the trail of potential profit

when he travels to Standish near Wigan with his 1960s poster,

having targeted Harry P,

the drummer of Merseybeat band The Remo Four.

What I'm going to show you now

is a poster that was promoted by Brian Epstein

-and on the bill is The Remo Four.

-Oh, well, I love my posters.

-Look at that. Isn't that fantastic?

-Oh, wow. I like that.

-Hey, it's signed.

-Isn't it a good...?

-Signed. Wow.

-That's PJ Proby.

-OK.

-Yeah.

Obviously, I can sign the Remo bit

and I can get what's left of The Fourmost

to sign The Fourmost bit and then that's going to go, hopefully...

I mean, a lot of my stuff will go in a museum.

-If I was to ask you sort of £80?

-No, I'd go for half of that.

-Sort of £40?

-Yeah.

You couldn't sort of make it around £50 and we'll, you know...?

And I'll sign it for you. I'll sign the back.

-How does that sound?

-No, that takes money off, Paul.

-£45.

-£45? Do you know what? I'm not going to argue with you.

-Is that OK?

-I want you to have it.

I'll give you a signed picture of The Remo Four.

-Thank you very much.

-How's that?

-I'll give you a signed picture of me.

-Oh, that's OK.

I don't think he wants a signed picture, thank you,

but Paul does make £45 and sells the poster to a good home.

It's gone to the right place.

That poster will go into the museum

and it will be seen for generations to come.

Well, that's music to my ears, really.

The total lot cost Paul just north of £150 at the auction.

He's got more selling to do until he makes that all-important profit,

but it's a good start.

Will isn't wasting any time either.

He heads to a village near Braintree in Essex

to try and make his first sale.

Well, I'm in the famously picturesque Finchingfield,

and I'm here with my rosewood wall clock.

Now, a couple of buyers I had in mind have blown me out

and, to be honest, it's got a few more issues

than I originally thought.

I'm here to see Peter who deals predominantly in high-end clocks.

So, I'm hoping he's going to help get me out of a hole.

Right, Will, what have you got for me? Let's have a look.

-I'm going to be honest with you.

-Yeah.

I saw it in the saleroom and I fell in love with it

-mainly because it was signed Crick of Newmarket.

-Newmarket, yeah.

-I've had a closer look at it now...

-Doesn't need to be too close.

No, it doesn't. You're right.

I was hoping you'd turn the lights down a bit, actually,

-because it has got one or two issues.

-Issues.

We've got issues with the mother-of-pearl.

That's fairly significant

because it's not easy to get people that repair mother-of-pearl.

I'm going to turn it over, put it on its face now.

This is a fairly modest movement.

I was hoping it'd have shoulder plates

-to cut out which it hasn't got.

-Yes.

I think it might just need a little bit of TLC.

-A little bit of oiling perhaps.

-It will have that.

It'll be taken apart and fully restored.

So, it all comes down to what sort of dosh do you want for it?

If I had to get out of this with what I would call a small profit...

-Yeah.

-..I would be looking to sell this to you

for a flat 400 quid.

-OK.

-You're going to...?

-You're hard as flint, but there you go.

You, sir, are a gentleman.

The clock cost Will £336 at auction

so he secures a £64 profit and he's overjoyed.

Yes!

There is a clock god, and his name is Peter.

Meanwhile, in London, Paul has gone undercover to make his next sale.

MUSIC: Secret Agent Man by Johnny Rivers

Agent Morecambe has brought the James Bond first edition

to comedian and writer Charlie Higson

who writes the Young James Bond series.

Ah! I've been expecting you, Mr Hayes.

Thank goodness for that.

Does that mean I can get rid of this silly disguise?

-You've been a lifelong Bond fan.

-Yes.

I mean, I grew up in the '60s

when Bond was just the biggest thing in the world.

When I was a kid going to the cinema,

I thought, "When I grow up, I will be James Bond."

I've had to accept that that's probably not going to happen,

but I got the second best job, which was writing James Bond books.

So, what I've brought along, I saw this in the auction

and I thought, "What a fantastic thing to have."

It's the first edition of The Spy Who Loved Me.

Have you got a copy of this already?

I have many copies of it,

but I don't have an original and certainly not...

-There you go.

-..a first edition.

That is amazing.

What is it about The Spy Who Loved Me that stands out amongst the books?

Well, Fleming was trying to do something different with this.

He started to get upset

that schoolchildren were getting into it

and Bond had become this sort of jolly hero,

and he said that Bond was not supposed to be. He's an assassin.

He's supposed to be this quite dark figure.

So, in this book, he tried to portray Bond as making mistakes

and as being sort of virtually indistinguishable

from the villains that he has to deal with,

and most of the book is told from the point of view of a woman.

It's written in the first person.

Bond doesn't turn up till two-thirds of the way through the story.

He was trying a radical experiment, and it went very badly wrong.

HE LAUGHS

It's probably the least favourite of his books, but it is unique.

It stands about the £200 mark.

And I was wondering if I was to ask you £250,

does that sound like a reasonable...?

-That would be an amazing deal.

-Is that all right with you?

-I was going to haggle with you.

-Were you really?

Hmm, it seems Paul could have gone in a little higher.

James Bond, he ain't.

The Bond book cost Paul £204 at the auction,

meaning he walks away with a £46 profit.

That was fantastic talking to Charlie.

I could have stayed all day and learned more about James Bond,

but I've got an arch nemesis of my own.

-How are you getting on, Will?

-Well, not so well, actually.

Will is in Newmarket with that leather chair,

and he's fallen out of love with it.

This has given me nothing but nightmares since I bought it.

It's post-1950, it's pre-1988

so it doesn't meet the very strict fire regulations.

I can't sell it to a private individual,

but I might be able to work it into a trader.

And that trader is Patrick.

But will he buy Will's foam-filled reupholstering project?

Well, what have you got here?

Well, it's a pretty, I think, funky, well, tub chair, I suppose,

on that tulip base.

-Beautiful. Love the colour.

-But, Patrick...

-Problems.

There is a problem with it.

It is something that is going to have to be

-completely reupholstered and filled.

-Hmm.

-I love it. It's a great chair.

-It is, isn't it?

But it's going to cost a small fortune to recover this.

-I mean, the work that's gone... Look at it.

-I know.

It's all stitched round the edge here.

Even if it was a great price, like ten pounds,

I cannot buy it because the money it's going to cost

to get it reupholstered

and up to the correct, modern trade-in standards

just outweighs any value

-that's going to be left in it afterwards.

-Yeah.

Well, I'm a little bit annoyed with myself, to be honest.

I should have foreseen all this jiggery-pokery

before I bought this chair at auction.

I knew it was foam-filled, but to be honest with you, I was seduced.

Seduced by the shape, the colour, the style.

I can't help being a funky young chicken.

Will fails to sell the chair

and is forced to swallow a loss of the £45.60 he paid for it.

Paul has better luck with his stained glass windows,

meeting Jason Davies from an architectural reclamation shop.

He makes quick work of the sale and gets £100 for his panels,

making a £42.40 profit.

With both our experts busily plying their trade,

let's take a breather to see the scores so far.

Paul Hayes has sold two lots for a profit of £88.40

but remember, that doesn't include the rest of those posters.

Axon has sold one item, the wall clock,

but failed to sell the child's chair,

meaning his profit stands at £18.40.

Of course, there's still everything to play for.

Both our experts know how important it is

to match up the right buyer for the right item.

Paul's Laurel & Hardy postcards have led him to Mark,

the owner of the Laurel & Hardy Museum in Ulverston.

-Hello, Mark.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-I'm very well, thanks.

-How are you?

-That's another fine mess you've got me into.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it!

-Would you like to see my postcards?

-I'd love to.

-Go on, then.

I came across these,

I thought they were really good quality

and I thought, "I know.

"Why don't we take them up to Ulverston?"

But is it a case of bringing snow to the Eskimos?

Have you got, like, 500 of these already?

I have a lot of pictures of Laurel & Hardy in the museum.

That's what it's all about.

But these are really nicely presented

and there's some good photos on there.

So, are these the sort of thing that you could see in the museum?

-Are they any use to you?

-Yeah, absolutely.

There's always a space for a picture of Laurel & Hardy

-in the museum and I really like them.

-Fantastic.

-So, if I asked you £50 for them, would that be...?

-Let's think of £35.

You couldn't make it £40 and we'll shake on that? How's that?

-£40.

-Shall we do that?

-Let's do that.

That's lovely. Thank you very much.

So, Mr Morecambe makes a great start

with a £40 sale for this part of the lot.

He then goes on to sell the tram prints

to a collector in Lancashire for £20

and finally heads from selling two of the world's greatest comics

to selling two of the world's greatest comics.

He's travelled to Carnforth to see Neil,

who sells books and comic annuals,

hoping he'll be interested in his framed Beano and Dandy posters.

What do you think it is about this type of thing that sells?

Why do people buy these?

Well, you've got collectors

that literally like to build up collections of the annuals.

We have things like, you know, this Beano from 19...

-I think it's from 1953.

-1953? Look at that.

So, what's the one to have, then? Is there a number one?

The very first one is several...

I believe it's tens of thousands of pounds.

It's massively expensive, the first ever issue.

Now, this one here says May 13th, 1978,

but these aren't from the original.

These are actually printed in 2009, I think that one was.

-That was 2009.

-Yeah.

-Have you got a use for them, Neil?

-Is it something that you can use?

-It is something that I would use.

-I'd very much use it to help in a display.

-Right.

To, you know, build up a display.

They are nice. They're lovely covers.

Mate, if I was to ask you £30 for these, would that be...?

-I'd be happy with that.

-Would you be happy with that?

Yeah, I'm not going to argue with £30 cos that helps.

That will help us to do some nice displays. I like them.

Paul is happy with a deal of £30 for the comic posters

but once he adds up his total,

he's only just broken even on the lot. Oh, Paul!

Both our boys are weaving their way through this web of profit and loss

and Will still has his poster of webbed wonder Spider-Man.

He's heading to an American-themed diner

to try and spin a profit.

I'm in historic Colchester

and I'm here to meet Matt, who's head chef at Sloppy Joe's.

Trouble is he's not expecting Will Axon as we know him.

He's expecting someone else.

Brace yourselves, viewers.

There's a shockingly tight onesie coming.

Witness The Axeman!

-Matt?

-Hello, mate.

-Axeman.

-How are you doing? All right?

-Very well, thank you very much.

-Cool.

-And before you say, I know.

The similarity is frightening, isn't it?

Yes, it is a bit, I must admit, actually.

Well, I have for sale this reproduction

of the front cover of Amazing Fantasy.

Now, it's number 15, I believe, from 15 August in the '60s

and it's actually the very first comic

in which this chap appears. What do you think?

-Can you see it hanging on the wall?

-Yeah, because obviously,

it's Americanised and it's very how we represent our restaurant.

-So, yeah, definitely.

-Yeah.

Listen, how does, I don't know, say £100 -

-a nice, round figure - 100 quid...?

-No, no, no.

I was thinking more along the £45, £50 mark, to be honest.

£80 and you've got a deal.

£60.

Shake my spandex-clad hand. £70.

-Good work.

-70 quid, Axeman.

-You've been working out, haven't you?

-I think I might have to go to that gym you go to.

-That's the spirit.

Super Will makes a super profit of 36.40

for the Spider-Man poster and he's feeling triumphant.

Another profit under the cape, but...

Oh, hang on a minute. What's this?

My super dealer senses are alerting me

to another potential profit.

I think it may need my help.

Yes. Well, after a quick costume change,

Axeman's alter ego flies down to meet Roger,

owner of Clock Props in Wimbledon,

hoping to find a profit from the Jaegar clock

that cost him £144

and the Bulova clock that cost him £114.

I've brought two clocks along today to show you.

-You haven't seen these before.

-No.

-You haven't even seen an image of them.

-No.

What I liked about them when I bought them

was I thought they were very strong visually

and stylistically but on top of that,

-they're both by well-known makers.

-Ah. Well, I'll be honest with you,

-I've never had a Jaeger-LeCoultre mantel clock like this.

-Yeah.

They were a very, very pioneering company.

They go back, I don't know, to the early 19th century.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Based in Switzerland, I think.

Well, clocks and Switzerland, they go hand in hand.

-Go together. Yeah. Certainly.

-This is the Accutron.

Now, I did a little bit of digging about

and what's interesting about the Accutron

is you can see here by that symbol,

they call it, I think, the tuning fork movement.

Absolutely, yeah.

So, is it a transitional piece from mechanical to quartz?

Are they, in principle, something that might interest you?

-It comes down to what you're going to ask for them.

-It does come down.

-Well, I bought them...

-Remember, I'm a pensioner.

HE LAUGHS

Yes, I've had that line tried on me before.

I would think that to get out of these with a reasonable profit,

-I need to look at sort of £150 each.

-Ah.

-You stopped me in my tracks there.

-Yeah.

I would offer you £110 for that one and probably do £100 on that.

If I could squeeze you to £110 on both, could we have a deal?

Yeah.

Will makes a loss of four pounds on the Bulova clock

and a loss of £34 on the Jaegar clock.

And there's more bad news when it turns out the robot toy

isn't as old or as valuable as Will hoped.

When he sells it to Peter, an antiques shop owner,

he winds up with a devastating loss of £124.

Will has left it wide open for Paul, and Mr Morecambe's music posters

have led him all the way back to...Morecambe.

He's at the Winter Gardens Theatre with trustee Evelyn.

Imagine my amazement. I'm down at a little auction in Essex...

-You know where that is?

-Right. I do.

-Turn left at London.

..and I was down there and amongst all these posters,

-I came across two for the Winter Gardens.

-Go on.

-Honestly. I can't believe it.

-Go on, show me.

-Now, here we are.

-One of them is Mr Tommy Trinder.

-Tommy Trinder.

-How fantastic is that?

-Yeah.

And the other one here is Jewel & Warriss.

Do you remember them two?

Oh, now, Jewel & Warriss, I remember them.

Do you have much of this sort of stuff?

-Do you have lots of memorabilia?

-We're collecting.

We're going to have a wall of fame of people that have performed

and I think these would go very nicely on that wall, Paul.

Fantastic. Well, if I was to ask you £60...

I mean, that's the lowest I could do on them.

..would that be convenient for you?

Would they reside here and live on the wall of fame?

I'm sure our treasurer would not mind at all.

-Shall we shake on that, then?

-Yeah.

That's lovely. That's fantastic. And do you know what?

We need two more pictures on the wall of fame - mine and yours.

We were on this stage too, weren't we? There we go.

Oh, that's lovely. Thank you very much.

After selling the remaining music posters to Nick,

a collector from the Isle of Man,

Paul makes a total profit of £44.70 for the lot.

And his profit streak continues

as he sells his magic lanterns to Mathew and Lisa,

who run a curiosity shop in Clitheroe,

for a curious profit of £24.40.

And they also take his final lot of Stephen King books for £100,

giving him a £28 profit.

And with the final whistle almost ready to blow,

Will still has one item left.

It's the Spurs street sign.

He had a buyer in mind when he bought it -

football coach and die-hard Tottenham fan Lawrence -

but will he like it?

What do you reckon to that? White Hart Lane.

Signed by the players I think from the '13/'14 season.

A couple of England internationals there.

-You've got Townsend and Lennon and Ros.

-Ooh.

-The great Adebayor.

-Yes.

And our star man at the moment, Christian Eriksen.

So, you're obviously a Spurs fan.

Can you see that hanging up in your collection

in the trophy cabinet, that sort of thing?

I can, yeah. I can picture this.

I'm looking for close to 100 quid. How does that sound?

Ooh, that's driving a hard bargain.

I don't know. Can we start at £50 and work upwards?

What if I come in and say 80 quid?

-£75.

-Let's have a little game.

Penalty shoot out. You against me. If you score, you get it for £70.

-If I save it, you get it for £80.

-I've seen your keeping skills.

-I'll take that deal, then.

-Oh, it's an outrage!

Right, I'm going to go get my kit on.

Yes, Will limbers up.

He's hoping to save the goal to make a profit.

Our lad looks nervous.

Lawrence places the ball on the penalty spot.

He shoots. He scores. Back of the net!

Which means Will sells the sign for £70

and scores a profit of £28.

Now, Will might have let that goal in,

but has he scored enough and made enough to win this match?

Let's remind ourselves of how much they've spent today.

Our duelling duo each started with £1,000 of their own money.

Paul Hayes bought a total of six items for £625.20.

Will Axon won seven lots and forked out £859.20.

But now it all comes down to profit.

All of the money that Paul and Will have made

will go to charities of their choice.

So, now let's find out who is today's

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is champion.

-Good morning, Will.

-How are you? Are you all right?

-Yeah, great.

Cast your mind back. It seems ages ago since that auction, doesn't it?

A lifetime ago. How did you do, anyway?

I did very well, actually. I really enjoyed it.

It took me on lots of journeys.

-Those posters I bought, you know the one with The Remo Four?

-Yes.

The guy I knew the drummer from?

There were two to do with the Winter Gardens in Morecambe.

-I don't believe it.

-What would be the chance

-of finding that in an auction down in Rayleigh?

-It's a plant.

You'd have thought that I'd have been at home at the auction,

but I have had a nightmare.

You know that robot? The clockwork robot?

Took a gamble on it being earlier than it was.

-Turned out it wasn't.

-Oh.

-Big loss.

-Oh, what a shame.

That '70s funky chair - couldn't sell it. Foam-filled.

-Do you want to have a go at this?

-I'm a bit nervous.

Go on. You'll be all right. Are you ready?

-BOTH:

-One, two, three!

-Ooh, £79.20!

-I've never seen a red one.

-BOTH LAUGH

-Well, to be honest,

I thought I might have done worse than that, so I'm secretly happy.

I'm delighted just to be in the black.

-Tell me about this robot. What happened?

-Listen, mate.

I've had enough about that. I don't want to talk about it anymore.

So, Paul is today's winner

after Will ends up in the red following a run of bad luck.

Well, I must admit, that was a bit of a surprise.

Will's misfortune there with the robot brings me out the winner.

I'm not arguing there, though.

Well, hands up, I've got to admit,

the auction for me was a complete disaster.

It's a lot harder the other side of the rostrum.

Tomorrow, Will has another bite of the cherry

as our pair of weary warriors step up again,

this time on the battlefield of the car boot sale.