Paul Hayes v John Cameron - Foreign Antiques Market Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

This is Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is -

the show that pitches TV's best-loved antiques experts

against each other in an all-out battle for profits.

-I think I see a bargain!

-Each day, one pair of duelling dealers

will face a mighty challenge...

-Oh, yeah!

-..putting their reputations on the line.

Ready for battle.

They'll give you the insiders' view of the trade...

I'm a big boy. I'm a player.

..along with their top tips and savvy secrets...

It's not all about what you spend.

It's about what you make.

..showing you how to make the most money...

It really is war.

..from buying and selling.

You've got to be in there like a whippet.

Coming up... Is Paul having a few friends to dinner?

16 plates. It's a buffet. 19 plates. How many more?

John spots a trend in the foreign antiques trade...

Coming to the European antiques markets today,

you see a lot of things that are specifically to look

as though they are old and recycled. This is a typical example of that.

..and is Paul about to see a deal demolished?

I think I can cut down here.

This is Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

Welcome, citizens. Our epic tale today

begins in the land of the Gauls, where our two roaming gladiators

are hoping to wield their wallets like swords,

in a collectibles contest to bag the best bargains

and dominate the deals.

First up, a warrior with an eye for his opponents' weaknesses,

who spears sales with his trident and nets the nicest knick-knacks.

It's...

Do you ever get the feeling you're getting nowhere in life?

-Just running round in circles?

-And trying to outclass him,

a ferocious fighter, with a taste for trinkets,

who can slash a price and beat down any dealer. It's...

Do you know when you see a face and you can't quite place it?

Their antiquarian amphitheatre

today is Sommieres, in the sun-baked south of France.

They have each got £750-worth of their own euros, to buy items

they'll sell on later,

with all the profits going to their chosen charities.

But who will get the Imperial thumbs-up and increase their profits

to the Maximus? It's time to find out.

-Bonjour!

-Bonjour, Monsieur Hayes.

-Yes. Ca va, Monsieur Cameron?

-How fantastic is this?

-Brilliant. What a great place to be.

Loads of stalls set up here. Lots for us to rummage through.

-How is your French?

-I'd say, "Magnifique, n'est-ce pas?"

No! It's at times like this I really wish I'd paid attention

in language classes, but I did German, so it probably wouldn't help

-me out much today.

-It doesn't help. I got an O-level in French

and I can't remember a word. Hopefully, it will all come back

-in a minute.

-If I negotiate anything, it's going to go down to

the old pen and pad today, where numbers are concerned. £750-worth

-of euros.

-Yes, OK. That should be enough for today, hopefully.

Well, I think it's time to start buying, so bon chance.

-Bon chance, certainly.

-See you back here in a bit.

-OK!

So, it's all bonhomie, as our warriors enter this foreign arena.

And Paul has a strategy to deal with the unfamiliar crowd.

From experience, coming to these French markets,

cos you have a British accent, they tend to ask you more money

for things, so the secret is today -

and my top tip - is to look for a price ticket

on something, a starting point.

In other words, keep your mouth shut.

Or as they say around here, "Ferme la bouche."

So, Paul's going to be the strong, silent type.

But what about John's battle plan?

I'm looking for small, portable things here today.

Things I can tuck in a bag and take home. I don't want anything bulky.

Also, make sure I'm checking condition thoroughly.

Once you've bought it and you get it back, it's too late.

So, petite and portable are John's key requirements.

No wonder this wine rack has caught his eye. Here, hang on.

This is actually a wine rack here,

for putting bottles in. A friend of mine has just opened a bar

back in the UK. I've seen them used as wall panelling. Upcycling these.

Literally, taking them apart and, literally, fixing them to walls.

They have a great sort of sculptural effect.

But is he well enough armed to do the deal?

-SELLER LAUGHS

-Is poor.

Cent?

-Allez.

-Merci. Merci, monsieur.

FRENCH ACCENT: It seems Monsieur Cameron

can parle francais after all.

100 euros is just over...

And he's happy with his big buy.

In terms of impact,

this is just the sort of thing I've been looking for.

In terms of portability, I've broken my own rules today.

This weighs an absolute tonne and it's quite big.

But it's made of oak, so it shouldn't damage too easily.

Looking at the age and date of this,

I think it's probably 19th century.

I can see evidence of machine saw markings.

It takes 120 bottles here. Folds up nicely.

Great for a restaurant or a bar. Should be a profit in there.

And I'll certainly drink to that.

So, John's taken an early lead,

and he's not the only one with big ideas.

This has taken my eye. I've never seen anything quite like this.

Very unusual.

It's... I don't know whether it's Eastern, of some sort.

This gilding, it's nicely done.

Is it something I want to buy?

It's not something typically French. That's what I'm going to go for,

but I'll have it in the back of my mind. You never know.

Yes, sticking to his guns, Paul continues the hunt

for French fancies. John, however, seems to be throwing

his "buying small" strategy even further out of the fenetre.

That's French for window, don't you know?!

This is classic upcycling. It's a piece of gnarled wood.

This is a natural growth on a tree and what they have done is just

clad it in tin here, mounted it with a rod

on this little ebonised pedestal.

I quite like that. It's a real sculptural effect.

-120.

-120. Oh.

-OK.

-Merci, monsieur.

-C'est moi.

80 euros. I'm happy with that.

That's just under...

And puts The Hammer 2-0 up.

Clearly, size isn't everything.

This natural sculpture isn't pocketable, but I do love it.

Things like this are a real one-off.

I think that has wonderful, wonderful impact.

I think there's a profit there.

At two buys down, Paul needs to jump in his chariot and get purchasing,

although he seems to have developed expensive tastes.

I must admit, I'm wandering around

and the things I want to buy are a little bit too expensive.

Don't forget, I've got to try and sell things at a profit.

It's proving harder than it looks, really.

Must be a French term for that. Answers on a postcard.

Paul's still netted a big fat nothing, but our John is having

no such trouble. He has grappled this

modern reproduction torso into his clutches for...

..increasing his haul to three.

This is a ceramic torso.

It's made of, literally, plaster of Paris and it's been marbled,

to make it look real. These were based on some of the genuine

Roman antiques sculptures that were being excavated in the 18th century.

I asked the vendor how much. 300 euros. I rather cheekily

offered him 150 and we ended up settling on 170. 170 euros for that.

So, I think it's a good piece and should make a profit.

So, with another 'armless bit of purchasing by The Hammer,

surely it's time for Mr Morecambe to splash the cash?

These are a wonderful pair of window blinds.

They open out at the front, so you can open your windows.

Oh, 1900, yeah. We... Edwardian.

Cent... Cent...cinq... 150.

Yeah.

-I've offered him 100 euros.

-Non possible.

-Non possible?

-Non.

-130.

I'm going to try one more.

I'm going to offer the gentleman 120.

-And we shake?

-Non possible.

-No? No! No, no, no. OK.

-So, 130.

-Voila.

-Thank you.

-Merci.

-Merci beaucoup.

He's done it! He's in the game - at last.

Paul shuts down his first deal, for...

Tres bon, monsieur!

I must admit, I wasn't expecting to buy these today and they are not

the sort of thing you tend to buy in the UK.

And if someone wants that real French look to a house,

this is the item you want to buy. They are a hardwood, with these

wonderful iron accessories, or door furniture, as they call them.

I think, for an interior designer or a decorator or someone who just

wants a very visual item, c'est magnifique, n'est-ce pas?

Paul's purchase brings us to the halfway mark.

Time to find out who's wowing the crowd

and who might be thrown to the lions.

With a £750 budget, Paul has had a gentle start,

buying only one item, for...

..leaving him...

John has spent more on his three items, costing...

..leaving him...

-How are you, John?

-I'm all right. How's it going?

I've done the market in typical French style.

I've had two croissants, a croque monsieur and a cup of coffee!

-You need a sleep now, don't you?

-What a great way of life!

Beats the markets in England.

-Fantastic. How are you finding the buying?

-Very difficult.

I've found things that are of good quality are very expensive. And you?

My strategy has gone out the window.

I've bought large things, so far.

-And there is lots of reproduction stuff here.

-Yeah.

But I'm not adverse to buying new things, if there's a profit in it.

You know what they say about antiques - they're old-fashioned.

-Boom-boom!

-I'll see you later!

Hmm, a bit of antiques banter.

Or could we say "bantiques"?!

HE LAUGHS

At 3-1 up. John's already smelling victory.

Reading between the lines and his body language,

I think he's finding it quite difficult here.

You know what, the clock is ticking and he needs to start buying.

That's when the pressure's on and people start doing panic buys.

Don't count your chickens, Hammer. The man from Morecambe

thrives under pressure.

It's great to see that John's struggling as well.

He's veered off his strategy course this morning

and bought some massive items. So, I'm going to get back on track

and buy something typically French. Ho-ho!

No more of the reserved Englishman.

Which way is Morecambe?

-Paul's throwing himself into the arena.

-Whoo!

This is a typical French porcelain dinner service,

but what is nice about it, it's real gold leaf which is applied

as decoration on this wonderful red background.

It's made by a firm called Limoges, which is one of

the most famous French factories. Absolutely top-quality porcelain.

This is 20th century, so it's not a particularly antique item.

But this would have cost a fortune when it was new.

On the scent of profit,

our bargain bloodhound unleashes his finest French.

C'est combien? How much?

-300.

-300.

300 euros is too expensive for what's there.

It's not a complete set.

50-piece.

I was just going to walk away, actually, but now, he's said there

is 50 pieces. If you worked out at £5 a piece, that's 250 quid,

so we're not a million miles away, are we?

And out come those 50 pieces.

16 plates.

It's a buffet. 19 plates. How many more?

..24.

PAUL LAUGHS

But Paul's not handing over 300 euros on a plate.

C'est difficult... Difficult to sell here today?

-Uh?

-I'm the only buyer here today.

-Can it be £200?

-Well, in France, it's euros, Paul.

Can it be 200? Deux cent?

OK, I will take it.

-OK.

-OK, merci.

So, Paul's O-level lingo bags him

the late 20th-century dinner service for...

His French-focused strategy came good.

I must admit, I bought something that's typically French.

Limoges porcelain - one of the most famous factories in France.

I can imagine the tureen alone was about 100 euros,

so I think this is definitely something that is saleable

and I think it's going to give me the one-up in this competition.

Look out, John, I'm coming round for dinner. Hey!

Well, luckily, The Hammer has found

something you can have your dinner on!

It's a modern table. It's been printed up to make it look like

it's been made with crates,

but I'm just wondering if that could be something that would appeal

to the market back home the days? I'll ask the vendor how much.

Here we go. The faithful phone again.

This breaks all language barriers.

No budge?

He's saying 150 was the best price.

Yeah. What about that?

-Non.

-Ah, merci.

-Monsieur, 120.

-OK.

-Yeah! Thank you. Thank you.

So, John and his trusty phone haggle their way

to a fourth huge item, for...

Coming to the European antiques markets today, you are seeing a lot

of things that are specifically to look as though they are

old and recycled. This is a typical example of that.

It's just a coffee table made from these right-angled sections

of metal here. Some nice, good French walnut planks of wood,

put in and framed it at the top and then printed to make it look

like it's old wine crates. Very current at the moment.

I would give this house room. We should get a profit out of that.

Now, talking of tables, Paul has been rooting around underneath one,

and something has got his motor running.

I've come across these. I've never seen these before.

This looks like an ordinary magazine, but the idea is

that you cut out the individual parts and you make yourself a car.

Monsieur! C'est original?

'50s, yeah. Yeah.

What the gentleman is saying is they are the 1950s-1960s originals.

15. OK, so what the gentleman is saying is 15 euros for two of them.

I like them. The idea is I could sell them with the instructions

and then have one made from this one.

So, maybe have a model of the actual car. OK, I shall buy those.

Merci beaucoup.

The vintage model car kits are Paul's for just...

He's racing up behind John.

This is a really interesting item. It caught my attention.

A - I have never seen one before.

And B - it's the golden era of cars.

The 1950s - the French, the American cars,

the design of them were absolutely beautiful. So, the idea is that

these were aimed at children,

to recreate a three-dimensional vehicle.

So, you would cut out each individual page and it would teach

you all about mechanics. It's a learning tool, really.

I'd love to bring one of these to life and make it

a three-dimensional thing - a real thing. At the end of the day,

where can you buy a vintage 1950s French car for 15 euros?

Let me know if you find one of them of them.

At 3-4 down, Paul heads off to drive more hard bargains.

And with his pedal to the metal, John is gearing up for another

potential buy - a 1920s inkwell.

I quite like that. 18 euros is cheap.

-Dix?

-Oui.

-Monsieur, thank you.

Yes, John knows a good deal when he sees one.

The inkwell is his.

This I really like, but that's not always a good sign -

buying with your heart instead of your head.

It's a little, probably post-World War, I would have thought, inkwell.

Modelled as a French machine gunner there.

You can see that here we've got the sandbags and that is actually

the cover that encloses the little inkwell there.

The inkwell has gone. The pin has gone and the front of the muzzle

has gone. So, there is a little bit of damage to it.

But it's novel enough and, at ten euros, I think I can see

a nice profit in the sights.

So, John's all bought up and he's gunning for victory.

My strategy did go out the window. Of all the things I've bought,

most of them are really big. Nothing I can fit in my pocket.

But I am all bought up. It's time now to relax, but first,

I'm going to check on Mr Hayes.

Well, Paul is doing very nicely, having just uncovered

an intriguing lamp.

It's exactly what I think it is. It's an oil lamp.

It would have had a glass well at the top here. It's come out

of a large house. Late 19th century.

-80 euro.

-Yes.

-80 euro.

I've actually offered 60 euros, but he insists on 80 euros.

But I think, with a few pounds spent on this, it could actually be

a really, really exciting thing. I am going to buy that one.

Merci beaucoup.

And our shining light Paul bags his lamp for...

Even with some missing parts, he's happy.

I think this is one of the best things I've bought here today.

It's a late 19th-century oil lamp stand.

And the idea is, in here would have been a well,

which would contain your paraffin or your oil. Then, on the top here

would be a large shade.

I just think it looks fantastic. It has the authentic look about it.

I'm not going to do anything at all with this wonderful patination.

But it's very classical in its design. It's got these wonderful

lion mask, with these hanging off. The lion paw feet.

Again, a sign of the Neoclassical Movement, late 19th century.

And it's just a fantastic item to have.

With The Hammer still out of sight, Paul moves quickly, to bag himself

-a fifth, and final, treasure.

-Quarante? OK. I buy. Merci.

An antique bedside cabinet, for...

I bought something real quality here. This is French, it dates from

the early part of the 20th century, late 19th.

It's walnut. It has a rouge marble top and it's a very functional item.

The idea is this goes next to your bedside and, of course, you have got

your place for your potty. All your bits and pieces in.

These wonderful brass handles.

A pair of these would be £300-400. A single one for 40 euros

is a bargain, in my book.

So, has Paul got himself as last-minute show-winning buy there?

Only time will tell.

But for now, battle-scarred and bruised, from a brutal day

of hand-to-hand shopping, our mighty gladiators leave

the cheering crowds behind, as we tot up the totals.

They both started the day with £750-worth of their own euros

to spend. Paul hopes his haul will win the day,

with five items, costing...

John has also amassed five purchases, for a slightly lower...

Time for our brave warriors to assess each other's wares.

-What do you think?

-I don't know if they are a pair of doors.

They'd let a bit of water in, wouldn't they? What are they for?

Funnily enough, they are wine racks.

It's nice to see these two are as they should be.

A-boards, fold them out, put them outside a cafe

or something, would you? Probably have empty bottles, for display.

-Yeah. It's a nice thing.

-Pretty pleased with those.

And what happened to the rest of...? Is it an elephant?

It looks to me like a natural piece of wood that

they've clad with tin and turned it into a sculpture.

I think it's very current, and it would go in the same sort of

house as the table. Look at that.

Made yesterday. And I feel quite embarrassed, Paul.

Here you are, buying traditional antiques, what we're used to doing,

and I've thrown caution to the wind and bought these things!

John, you've got to move where the market is.

-Did you see this lamp?

-I do like the lamp.

-Where's the rest of it?

Er, well, the rest of it isn't there, but it can be found.

What I'm hoping to do is put a nice, big paraffin well,

a glass well and a flue and so on, make it into a lovely oil lamp.

But I think it's a fantastic thing. It's belonged to a wealthy house.

The louvre doors - have you got something in mind for those?

I haven't. I wanted to buy something very French.

You don't really see many at home, and I like the look of them.

I think they're sort of shabby chic, as they say round these parts.

-I think they would just screw to a wall.

-Yeah.

Literally just screwed to a wall. As a feature.

Are you thinking of framing those up?

You haven't had a look inside, have you?

What these are, you actually cut them out and they become a car.

-Ah, that's what they are!

-But there's hundreds of parts,

so do you want to give me a hand? I've got two pairs of scissors.

-Do you trust me with a pair of scissors?

-Yeah, I do!

Our dealers must now head home with their French fancies

and muster their strength for the selling challenge.

Using all the methods at their disposal,

Paul and John will hunt out the best buyers across the land

for their Continental collectibles in a race to bank

the biggest profits for their chosen charities.

Back at his Morecambe HQ,

our friend from the north is surveying his spoils.

Ah! That's what I like to see, some really unusual items,

and I think I've bought everything I could that was very French.

The shutters, or louvre doors, these are typically French items.

You don't see a lot of them in this country.

I think I can sell those easily.

The lamp, that's going to need a little bit of work.

Originally, I was intending to put an oil well on top,

but I was chatting to somebody that thinks it would

be better as an electric lamp.

It makes it more commercial, more sellable.

The pot cupboard, great little piece of furniture.

It's a shame there wasn't a pair - would have been hundreds of pounds.

But even as an odd one, it's rouge marble, got a nice little cupboard,

it's good to go. I don't think that's going to be a problem.

The one I changed my mind on has to be the car books.

There's weeks of work there,

so I'm going to sell it as is and let someone else worry about that.

-FRENCH ACCENT:

-So, look out, Johnny, I'm coming your way!

HE LAUGHS

Yes, but we're back in Blighty now.

Paul will also need to find a home

for his late-20th-century dinner service.

In Portsmouth, the Hammer seems buoyant about his booty.

Looking at these, I would be able to live with any of these items,

and that, for me, is always a good sign.

This has probably proven to be the most popular item.

I've had three separate bar owners

all stressed an interest in my wine rack there.

My job is to choose which one is going to give me the best profit.

My table, several people have already shown an interest in this -

all young people. See, this is a trendy thing.

So I know my gut feeling was right - buy things that are current now.

My favourite item, though, is my least expensive.

It was the ten-euro World War I novelty inkwell,

modelled as this French machine-gunner here.

I think in terms of percentage of profits,

it's going to bring me in the best.

For ten euros I should be able to get £30 or £40 for that,

at least, even with the damage there.

So, all bought up, now I've got to sell it,

but I'm happy with what I'm trying to sell.

A happy Hammer there,

who also needs to sell his wooden sculpture and ceramic torso.

Both our experts extraordinaire are chomping at the selling bit,

with phones, laptops, contacts books and cars all at the ready.

But no deal is sealed until they've shaken on it and the money

has changed hands.

Just a stone's throw from his Portsmouth auction house,

John is steering himself towards his first potential sale

with his early-20th-century inkwell in hand.

He's meeting a militaria dealer, but it's a voyage into the unknown.

We've never met or done any business before,

so this could get ugly and I could find myself in the trenches.

So, John bravely goes forth,

hoping new contact Gerry will give him a return on his £8 investment.

-Hello! You must be Gerry.

-Nice to meet you, yes.

-Nice to meet you!

So, you are a militaria man, I understand.

-Yes, I specialise in military items.

-Here we are.

-I picked this up in France.

-Mm!

-It's World War I, a novelty inkwell.

We've got the pen rest right here, like that,

and there he is, the gunner, his spent magazines here.

-What do you think of it?

-Well, it's, er, it's a very nice piece.

I've seen similar pieces made by soldiers, actually.

By the amount of details,

it definitely looks like a 1920s piece, and, yeah, we have the French

soldier here in the 1916 outfit, and he's from the machine-gun corps.

It has suffered a little bit of damage.

-Yes, the barrel of the machine gun.

-The muzzle's gone on there.

The pin has gone out of the hinge.

Now, I was going to try and fix that, but do you know what?

I've often found that if you're going to sell something to

a collector, they often want to get it restored themselves or

-they have people that they trust.

-I think, yeah, this has potential.

-This can sell in quite a short time.

-So, are you interested?

-I am interested, yes.

-So, what do you think you'd be prepared to pay?

In normal circumstances, I'll be ready to pay about 80 quid for it.

But because it is a bit damaged, I will say £50

-would be the right price for it.

-Mm.

It's a little bit less than I was hoping.

Could you do any better than that at all?

Well, I suppose if I'll, er, have the time,

I'll try to fix it myself, so in that case I will say I'll give you

another £15 on top, so try and do it for 65.

So, £65. Gerry, you've got yourself a deal.

It's been a pleasure doing business with you.

With a new contact in his little black book,

John heads off with over £56 profit.

So a strong, attacking start from the Hammer.

But is everything looking rosy in Paul's garden, too?

# Ah, look at you now, flowers in the window

# Such a lovely day... #

He's in the north-west with horticultural things in mind

for his Edwardian shutters.

Well, I've come all the way from the South of France to

the Southport Flower Show. It's a major event that happens every year.

There's a gentleman here that's making a Mediterranean garden.

I called him up, said, "Are you interested in a pair of shutters?"

and he said he has a specific use for them.

So with a bit of luck these are sold already. It's an open-and-shut case!

HE LAUGHS

They cost him just over £112,

so will a profit bloom from flower show competitor Sean?

-Ah, now then, Sean!

-Hello.

-How are you? All hands on deck.

-Nice to meet you, Paul.

-Nice to meet you, too, mate.

Now then, tell me, what exactly are you trying to do here?

This year's theme's Mediterranean,

so what we've decided to go for is like a courtyard garden,

and, as you can see,

I've got two windows that just need some shutters either side!

-Well, these are from the south of France.

-Lovely.

They're probably about 100 years old,

and they give you that just instant antique feel to the actual place.

Yeah. They are fantastic.

You wanted a pair of shutters, but the windows are a bit small.

-What are you planning?

-Well, if you don't mind, I think I can cut...

-down here.

-OK!

-And I'll definitely be able to get two either side.

Right, so I'd be hoping for something towards the 200-quid mark.

How do you feel about that?

-SEAN LAUGHS

-Give me a bit of profit on them.

I don't know about 200 quid! Er...

-..100 quid.

-Meet you in the middle? 150?

That gives you a chance to do them.

-Hold out your hand.

-PAUL LAUGHS

-Cheers, Paul. Thanks, mate.

-Thank you very much!

Paul shuts the deal down with a profit of nearly £38

and, flush with the success of his first sale,

decides to offer rival John some handy advice.

What he might do is recognise my number and not answer at all.

Phone's going.

-Hello?

-Ah, bonjour, Monsieur Cameron! Ca va?

Oh, what a pleasure to hear from you, Mr Hayes.

I thought I'd give you the heads-up.

-You know those shutters?

-The shutters? Yeah.

-Yeah.

If you ever see any, they're better if you buy four of them.

-What's happened? Have they broken?

-No, a gentleman wanted two pairs,

-so he's actually cut them in half!

-Oh, wow!

I said he could have them for half-price,

but now you're buying four of them.

Listen, I bought a couple of big-ticket items and I've

still got them hanging around, mate. This one's certainly not over yet.

If we don't sell anything,

we can open a shop. We can call it John and Paul's.

All we need is George and Ringo's and we've got a full set.

Well, good to hear from you, mate, and good luck.

-Yeah, and good luck to you, too. Courage, mon ami, courage.

-Bye-bye.

He seemed in really good spirits there,

and I can't believe he's sold those louvre doors!

I would have bet my life he was going to have those hanging around.

But there we are, he's worked his magical charm and he's sold them.

I'd better crack on and sell the rest of my items.

Yes, you had!

He heads to Southsea with one of those big-ticket items,

his 19th-century champagne rack.

Remember, it had three potential buyers,

and he's plumped for restaurant owners Jason and Soraya.

I wonder why(!)

The rack cost him just over £86, so can he make his profit pot fizz?

Taking a sneak peek, you two! I wanted to surprise you.

-I went to get a bottle. How are you doing?

-Yeah, good, John.

-You all right?

-Yeah, very good, very good. Lovely to see you.

-Well, so, what do you think?

-Yeah, they're perfect.

They're exactly what we've done here in the restaurant.

We've got ten, reclaimed from a French chateau.

Well, I've brought along a bottle because I hadn't actually

tried these out to see how they work.

And I kind of got an idea, and they were for champagne,

I believe, and you literally just tuck them in like that.

Clearly, we stock a lot of wine here and we sell a lot of wine,

-so, yeah, these are just perfect.

-So, what are you thinking?

-Well, we know what we paid for those.

-Yeah.

So I would have thought around about £120 would be quite a fair offer.

-What, each?

-Erm, no, for the two.

-Behave yourself!

God, no. I mean, I'm thinking they're sort of 150 each these days.

-They've got to be.

-Wow. I think we've been lucky, then.

I'd be hoping sort of 200, 250, something like that, for the pair.

JASON SIGHS

I think we can probably run to £100 each.

-Yeah?

-So £200 for the pair.

-£200 for the pair. Thank you very much.

So John's got something to celebrate with that vintage profit of

just under £114.

And, drunk with success, he sells his contemporary coffee table to

property investor Anne-Marie,

who's sourcing quirky items for her apartments.

-145?

-I'm happy to do 145.

And with that deal on the table, John ups his profits by nearly

£42 and puts himself firmly in the lead at three sales to Paul's one.

But our Mr Morecambe isn't sleeping on the job.

He's had his bedside cabinet delivered to an antiques centre

in Birkenhead. It cost him nearly £35.

Ah! Hello. Carole?

So, will centre owner Carole think it's worth more?

-So, I see that the cabinet is here.

-All right.

And on first impressions, do you like it?

-Is that the sort of thing you go for here?

-Well, yes, actually I do.

How do you find French furniture in general?

-Well, French furniture always sells well.

-Really?

-Yes.

And I particularly like pieces with marble tops!

Right, OK. What reason for that?

Even though they're 100 years old or so, you know that the top isn't

going to have water marks on it that are very difficult to get rid of.

I have to say, it's a very attractive piece.

So, it's nice and clean, the marble's in good condition,

-the actual cabinet's in good condition.

-Yes.

It's ready to go, really. The only arguing point, really, is the price.

-That's right.

-PAUL LAUGHS

-I mean, I have to be realistic.

-If I was to ask you £100 for this,

are we in the sort of right ballpark figure, or is that too cheap?

-No!

-THEY LAUGH

-Well, we've established that, anyway. OK.

-No. Erm...

I think...

in fairness, I'd like to be paying...

-about £80.

-Right.

-I do need to make a little bit of profit.

-Yeah.

-And it needs a bit of tidying up, as well.

-Do you know what?

I think I'll accept that bid and we'll shake hands on that,

and I think you'll enjoy that and hopefully get a good profit.

-Shall we do that?

-Thank you very much.

-And nice to see you, Carole.

And I believe you've got a nice vintage cafe here.

Yes. If you want to pop upstairs, we'll give you a cup of tea.

Take me upstairs, Carole, and show me...

-Have you got any etchings up there or just cups of tea?

-Just tea!

Ooh, I say!

Paul's dreamy profit of £45.52 brings us to the halfway mark.

With everything still to play for, let's see who's on top of the world

and who's gone down under.

So far, Paul has sold two items and made a profit of £83.46.

But John is in the lead,

having sold three items for a profit of just under £212.

So Paul's got some catching up to do,

but is our Monsieur Morecambe downhearted? Of course not.

He's in Oxfordshire, hoping to sell his most expensive item,

the 50-piece French dinner service.

I've come to the French restaurant here at The Swan at Tetsworth.

I actually work next door at the antiques centre.

Antoine here makes some wonderful cuisine, and he's interested

in seeing my Limoges dinner service, so wish me luck.

I think that's "bonne chance".

The china set him back just under £216, so will Antoine say oui or non

to a deal?

-Ah, bonjour, Antoine.

-Morning, Paul.

-Ca va?

-Very well. And you?

That's about as much French as I can speak, unfortunately.

-Well, that's a good start.

-Now, this is Limoges porcelain...

-It is.

..which I know is a region in France,

but I thought there was only one factory in Limoges.

-That's not the case, is it?

-Well, actually, no.

You've got quite a few different houses, "maisons",

that we call, of different qualities.

That one is probably one of the most prestigious ones.

Now, this is a firm called Bernardaud. Is that right?

-Yeah, I think it was set up in 1865, 1866.

-OK, right.

And they're still trading at the moment, of course.

And, yeah, that's just a beautiful set. Just looks amazing.

I like to serve my traditional French dishes in those

beautiful plates.

I should imagine this set as being very expensive when it's bought.

Yes, I did check the prices.

I wouldn't be able to afford those brand-new.

For one of these, you'd be looking at £90 or £100 each.

-I'm definitely interested in it.

-OK.

-Now, what would you like for it?

I was hoping for somewhere...

sort of 320, 350, that sort of price.

Now, I'm going to have to consider that, sadly,

some of it will be broken when I use it.

The maximum I could do would be around 300.

OK. Shall we shake on that?

-That's pounds, yes, £300?

-It is pounds. It is pounds indeed!

-Thank you very much, Paul.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you.

So, Paul's late-20th-century dinner service dishes him up

a profit of just over £84,

and he adds more to his pot when he sells his vintage model car

books to dealer Peter in Brighton for £20, making a small gain

of just over £7, and motors into the lead with four sales to three.

Not to be outdone, John's brought his modern sculpture to

Surrey to show sculpture park owner Eddie.

This could be a tough sale for me, because Eddie is

not only a sculpture dealer but he's also a sculptor by profession.

The sculpture cost John nearly £69,

so he needs to carve out a good profit on this one.

-How are you doing?

-Not you again!

-THEY LAUGH

-Hello, John.

-Pleased to see you, too...! How's it going?

-Yeah, good.

Roughly how many sculptures have you got here in the park, Eddie?

We've always at any time got approaching 1,000.

Want to make it 1,001?

So long as it's not that one.

At first, Eddie, I thought this was possibly a piece of driftwood,

but the more I look at it, the more I wonder if it was part of some

furniture, perhaps on a balustrade or a pediment or something.

What do you think?

Well, it looks like it's definitely had a past life.

Eddie, I'll be honest. I had this in the auction house just for storage,

and one or two people have stopped and said they really like it,

especially younger people.

So I think this has a kind of upcycled, futuristic,

rustic look about the piece. It's certainly a conversation piece.

Well, at a price, there's a home for anything, John.

Well, I think, to me, it's got to be worth, ooh, 150.

John, I'll give you the money,

provided it's between you and I and doesn't go any further.

I've got a reputation to uphold.

JOHN LAUGHS

How could I possibly refuse a deal like that, sir? You're a gent.

That's one for my own personal collection, John.

Hm, a profit of over £81 for John,

though his taste took a bit of a bashing from Eddie.

Or was it all a bluff?

Well, Eddie is the ultimate poker player, never letting on

whether he really likes something or not, but I'm very happy.

I came here thinking I might make a little profit.

I made over 100% profit. I'm very happy with that.

Paul Hayes, watch out.

With that creative sale, John draws level with Paul at four deals each.

But Mr Morecambe is back on the profit hunt.

He's travelled back to the antiques centre in Birkenhead

where he sold his bedside cabinet.

This time, he's meeting dealer Lucy in the hope of illuminating

a profit on his £69 oil lamp.

-Hello, Lucy!

-Oh, hello!

-How are you?

-I'm very well, thank you.

-Nice to see you.

-And you.

Now, my original idea was to have the paraffin well put back on this.

-Right.

-This originally would have been a 19th-century paraffin lamp.

But they sell much better as an electric lamp.

Is that right for yourself?

We tend to find that that's what the customer wants.

They want it for the modern home, be able to get the lamp home,

plug it in and use it, so far more practical for us.

What's wonderful about it, if you press this little lever here...

-it's adjustable to any height. Look at that.

-Wow!

-Isn't that wonderful?

It's called telescopic movement.

So it would actually make a perfect reading lamp.

And then just put a modern fitting onto the top,

which we can arrange to be done, and try and get a shade to suit it.

I think retail it's a £400 or £500 lamp when it's all converted

-and all done.

-Yeah.

-Erm, if I said a couple of hundred pounds, I mean,

is that within budget for yourself, or is it...?

I think with the fact we've got to do some work and it's

going to cost us, we're probably looking around the 140, 150 mark.

-I like the idea of 150. Shall we shake on it?

-Yeah!

Of course you would! No, that's absolutely fine.

That's a profit of just over £81 added to Paul's total,

and he leaves the lamp in the capable hands of Lucy,

who'll have it wired and PAT tested before selling it on.

So, Paul is all sold up, but what of John?

He's walking the streets of Portsmouth with

a naked man on his back!

I'm off to meet restaurateur Darren with my ceramic torso here,

and he's recently refurbed the restaurant.

I'm desperately hoping this fits the decor,

because I really don't want to lug it around much longer.

The modern ceramic torso cost John over £146,

so can it beef up his profit pot?

-Darren! Hi! How are you?

-Very good, thank you. And you?

-Very good.

I'm glad you've got the air con on.

I'm sweating profusely, carrying this thing around.

And if I carry it much longer, I'm going to end up like that.

DARREN LAUGHS

Things like this have been collected for thousands of years,

especially in the late 18th century, a lot for excavations going on

sort of around Greek and Roman sites,

and they often were brought out like this, missing parts of their

limbs and heads, and they've almost become iconic.

Now, I know it's not your colour scheme,

but that's why I've brought it here, because I think it stands out.

-I don't know about here, but it'd definitely suit home.

-You think so?

-It's a nice piece. I'd definitely like to, er...

-To acquire it.

-..to take it on.

-All right. So, obviously money is key here.

Say, South of France, markets, you're talking about £50?

JOHN LAUGHS

-I'm not going to ask silly money for it.

-OK.

-A couple of hundred pounds for it.

-A couple of hundred...

Will you take 150?

Ooh... Can we do any better than that? Would you do 190?

Go on, I'll do you one better, because I don't like to see you off.

-I'll do you the 200 you asked.

-Will you really?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Of course I will.

-You are a gentleman. I really appreciate that.

£200? No hidden catch?

The only hidden catch is that you've got to carry it home for me.

How far do you live?

-Five-minute walk.

-Ohhh! I think I can just about manage that.

-You've got yourself a deal. Thank you, Darren.

-Thank you.

So, John's torso finds a home

and John finds a profit of just over £53

and he's come to the end of his selling.

Ah, I know I said I hoped Darren bought this

so I didn't have to lug it around any more.

Well, delivering it to his flat is a small price to pay.

I've managed to carve out a nice profit.

Didn't even cost him an arm and a leg, and that is me all sold up!

Cheeky!

It's almost time to find out who's been building their money muscles

and who's the profit weakling.

First, a quick reminder of how much our antiques experts spent.

Having each started the day with £750 worth of euros to spend,

Paul picked up five purchases, costing £443.96.

John also bought five items but spent less, £413.80.

But all that matters now is profit.

All of the money that Paul and John have made will go to

charities of their choice, so let's find out who is today's

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is champion!

-Ah, bonjour, Jean!

-Ah, Paul Hayes!

-How are you? Comment allez-vous?

-I'm very well!

-I loved it out there. Didn't you?

-Fantastic.

Great day, wonderful items, as well, and brilliant, really enjoyed it.

You know that lovely big Limoges dinner service I bought?

-Yes, I do.

-Those plates are 90 each.

Please don't tell me you got that for them.

Er, no, a bit of a discount, but I still did all right with them.

-What about you? How did you get on?

-Not too bad.

My sculpture, that organic tin-clad sculpture,

-went to a really interesting sculpture park in Surrey.

-Really?

But the thing I wish I'd have bought more of was that wooden wine rack.

-You were on about that.

-I could have sold that four or five times over.

-Shall we do this?

-I think we ought to.

-I'm quite confident.

I might just have you on this one, mate. You ready?

-Un, deux, trois!

-Trois!

THEY LAUGH

How did you manage that?

It was the wine rack. It was the wine rack.

Oh, I thought I had you on that one.

-They're not bad sums of money, Paul, to be fair.

-No, they're all right.

-Very good indeed.

-You've got the wine, I've got the cheese. Go on.

How do you like your crackers?

So, John "the Hammer" Cameron wins,

all thanks to the cork-popping profit on the wine racks.

I'm delighted to have won the French antiques market challenge.

It was a great time in the sunshine,

and we both bought some really interesting things.

And whilst it was a close-run race,

on this occasion the Hammer fell on Mr Morecambe.

What do you have to do to win against John Cameron?

He's done fantastically well with those wine racks.

I made some serious profits there and still got beaten.

But you know what? C'est la vie.

But Paul has another chance to overcome his rival tomorrow,

when they face off at a fast-paced auction.

HORN TOOTS