Episode 10 Great Movie Mistakes

Welcome to Great Movie Mistakes III.

That's right, we're a trilogy,

which hopefully means we'll get our own over-priced box sets soon.

Now, I know what you're thinking -

the third part of a trilogy has a certain reputation.

Godfather Part III, Back To The Future III,

Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves...

They all have a reputation for being my favourite part

of the whole trilogy.

So, how have we made this instalment bigger,

better and more impressive than the other two?

Well, how does this sound?

CGI technology, car chases, romantic interests,

a bit where the building folds in on itself, like in Inception?

Well, according to our producers, it sounds too expensive.

So instead, we'll just stick to our perfectly OK formula

of reviewing all the movie mistakes we've spotted

from the top movies released since we last saw you.

Why does Hollywood love remakes so much?

Well, sometimes a film is so close to being brilliant

but there's just one tiny thing that stops it being perfect,

like it's foreign, or it was made over ten years ago.

Things that stop anyone in their right mind wanting to watch it.

The other reason to remake a movie is if the original didn't quite get it right.

Who didn't think that Get Carter was improved by the addition of Sylvester Stallone?

Or that The Italian Job was crying out for a cameo by Marky Mark?

I, for one, can't wait for next year's summer blockbuster,

Citizen Kane...

with Miley Cyrus.

Mm.

The needless, over-the-top A-Team movie,

and maybe they should give up this soldiers-of-fortune malarkey

and become baggage handlers. Watch the case by the side of BA.

I want to kill you, man.

You're not going to kill me! I'm going to kill YOU!

It's now behind his head...

I got two guns here.

..then on the other side.

It moves around more than Hannibal's wig did in the old series.

Whoopsie!

Loyal fans of The A-Team had problems with the remake,

and this must have got their blood boiling.

Look, they've misspelled Murdock's name!

It's D-O-C-K, not D-O-C-H.

I pity the fool who made that mistake.

Saying that, I also pity the person

who still cares so much about The A-Team.

At the end of the instantly forgettable Mechanic remake,

Ben Foster selects a jazz record to play on the posh turntable.

Ah! I love a bit of free form experimental jazz.

CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS

Hang on! It's ruddy Shubert's Trio Number Two!

But it definitely says "Jazz" on the cover.

Right, back to HMV.

Gulliver's Travels with Jack Black,

perfect casting, as the book was all about a loveable,

immature, rock-loving idiot.

Cos he called it a "mandate", so...

The kind of character that doesn't know his right hand from his left.

-..bushy-tailed for the boys.

-The right...

Now the left.

Jonathan Swift can rest easy that his work is in safe,

but confused hands.

We just got here.

In the final scene, Gulliver returns from his travels

and gains this girlfriend.

When I returned from my travels, all I gained was a case of the trots.

But what has she got to hide?

Her ID is the wrong way round...

Danke schon.

..then it flips...

Mark. I'm just the new guy in the mailroom...

..now it's hidden again. Hm...mysterious.

Some films just don't know when to quit making mistakes.

In the end credits for Gulliver's Travels,

check out the date on this newspaper.

June 20th to June 3rd?

Someone obviously feels like time was moving backwards

when they were watching this film. I didn't.

Off to Jellystone Park for the charmless Yogi Bear movie.

Booboo has handcuffed Yogi to a tree.

But keep an eye on which paw the handcuff is on.

First it's his right paw,

then it's his left paw,

then his right paw again.

Either way, it's very PAW indeed.

Next up, we're looking at teen movies, which, for a man only

recently out of his teens - that's right - is exactly my thing.

PHONE RINGS

They're cool, wicked and totally radical. Oh, excuse me.

Oh, hey, Dazza. Yeah. What's up, dude?

Yeah, I would love to come down the rec and skateboard with you.

-Hang on. Mum, I'm going down the rec with Dazza.

-No, you're not.

-Not until you've finished hosting the show.

-But Mum!

-No buts.

Can't come out. See you tomoz.

-MUMBLING: Here are some classic goofs from teen films.

-Say it nicely.

UP-BEAT: Here are some classic goofs from teen films.

I saw that.

Next, in the light-hearted Easy A, Olive shows this boy what's what

by crushing an ice-cream cone in front of his face.

But the cone instantly reappears. Here today, cone tomorrow.

Now, watch Olive trying to take off her left boot

Is that lavender? It's pretty.

Which becomes her right boot, then she takes off her right boot again,

but somehow she's removed both her boots!

A clear example of two rights making a wrong.

In energetic Step Up 3D, it's the dance battle.

And as any B-boy knows, things get hot on the dance floor,

which is why the guy who's with those men pretending to be dogs

keeps taking his coat off.

Now you see it...

Now you don't.

Reminds me of my Nan's 80th. That was a lively affair.

Another one from Step Up, and take a look at Moose's bag,

because it's only on in the shots from behind.

Yeah, I mean I...

I'm a double major...

Now, I know it's a backpack,

but you'd still see the strap on the front, right?

Yes?

What do you mean, you can't believe it?

It's Submarine, a reflective film about a son

trying to smooth out the creases in his parents' relationship.

And by the looks of things,

he's also smoothing out the creases in this drawing.

See? The fold's gone.

No need to set it on fire, though!

Oh! Kids!

Finally, a flashback scene in the worthless Twilight sequel, Eclipse.

Now, clothes in those days were made to last.

Look at that!

She stabs right through her dress and it doesn't even rip.

You don't get that kind of quality at Primark, do you?

When a film is described as "cultural,"

that probably means it hasn't got a good enough story to be popular,

so it's being passed off as art.

"Mm, yes, it's supposed to be boring! That's the point!"

You can explain away all kinds of things using the art house excuse.

Shaky cameras - it's art.

Gaping plot holes - it's art.

Pretentious acting - that's just Natalie Portman,

there's nothing we can do about that now.

Some films are pure entertainment.

Others go a little deeper and ask questions like, "Why are we here,

"in the cinema watching another M Night Shyamalan film?"

Natalie Portman's in need of a champagne top-up, I think,

in creepy ballet melodrama Black Swan.

..appreciated presence on our stage.

But being so freaked out by Winona Ryder giving her evils, none of us notice that,

by the end of the scene, the flute is full to the brim again.

To beauty.

Next up, here's It's Kind Of A Funny Story,

a One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest for Justin Bieber fans.

And suicidal Craig has to give up all potentially harmful items.

Your belt and shoelaces.

-So his belt and shoelaces are gone.

-We can't take chances.

But later on, Craig and another patient Bobby are shooting hoops

with draw-stringed trackie bottoms

and very laced-up shoes. That basketball's probably

-a cyanide gobstopper.

-Don't play dumb with me.

Now, slow-moving alien thriller Monsters and our couple's being

fleeced by a man who'd get Anne Robinson frothing at the mouth.

Um, how much?

That will be 5,000 colones.

-5,000?

-Yeah, 5,000.

-So that's 5,000 Costa Rican colones.

That will be 5,000 colones.

-5,000?

-Yeah, yeah, 5,000.

-5,000 is a lot of money.

-Yes, I know, but...

Oh, it's now 5,000? Big mistake.

At the current exchange rate, 5,000 is...

No wonder this film had no cash for the special effects.

Monsters again and this completely deserted town

isn't quite as deserted as it seems.

Now, before you cower behind the sofa, take another look.

It seems the ali-ons prefer pick-up trucks to spaceships

when they pop to the shop for a pint of milk and a family-sized Galaxy.

Here's feisty teen Ree in gritty drama Winter's Bone.

This confrontation looks like

it'll get pretty tense as the gloves are well and truly off.

No, hang on, they're back on again.

Phew, looks like all will be fine after all.

No, wait, they're off again! Oh, make your mind up, love.

So often with films, the stars get the awards,

but what about those people behind the scenes? How do they get noticed?

They could become the best in their field or work their way up to become a famous director.

Or they could just stand in the back of shot.

Well, that's exactly what we're awarding now -

those people who went that extra distance

from out-of-shot to into shot.

What?

It's the Great Movie Mistakes Award for Best Supporting Actor,

and here are the nominations.

Lightweight action from Knight And Day and some great scene stealing.

Look at the security guards behind Cameron Diaz.

They suddenly change into normal civilians

and then back into security guards at the top of the escalator.

Maybe they were just working undercover for a bit.

If you've got a problem, maybe you can hire The A-Team,

to clean your windows, because...

Let's go back.

Mr T has got that window so clean,

you can see the cameraman's own reflection in it.

A blatant and unwelcome cameo. A bit like the movie.

In seen-it-all-before thriller The Resident,

Jack returns to his flat and senses all is not right.

If it the presence of a ghostly character?

Or just the reflection of the clumsy cameraman in his kitchen window?

Time to move out, if you ask me, Jack.

Who are you texting?

It's crazy horror comedy Vampires Suck

and Alice gets a mobile phone right in the face.

Now, either Edward is a very good shot or someone just off camera

is throwing a mobile phone right in her face.

There, thrown from point-blank range.

That's a bit "phoney"!

But the winner is Man In Shorts.

It's the climax of the testosterone-dripping Expendables

and all hell is breaking loose.

Everyone's running for their lives,

but hold on, who's this fellow in Bermuda shorts with the camcorder?

A very unfortunate tourist?

Next year, I'd stick to Rhyl. There's fewer explosions.

OK, time for bed. Goodnight!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd