Episode 11 Great Movie Mistakes

Welcome to Great Movie Mistakes III.

That's right - we're a trilogy,

which hopefully means we'll get our own overpriced box set soon.

Now, I know what you're thinking -

the third part of a trilogy has a certain reputation.

Godfather Part III, Back To The Future III,

Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves,

they all have a reputation for being...

my favourite part of the whole trilogy,

so how have we made this instalment

bigger, better and more impressive than the other two?

Well, how does this sound?

CGI technology, car chases, romantic interests,

a bit where the building folds in on itself like in Inception.

Well, according to our producers, it sounds too expensive.

So, instead, we'll just stick to our perfectly OK formula

of reviewing all the movie mistakes we've spotted

from the top movies released since we last saw you.

They say you should never meet your heroes,

which I guess is why no-one ever comes up to me in the street

and tells me how much they love my work.

Thanks, guys. That means a lot(!)

Every time someone crosses the street to avoid meeting me,

I think to myself, "There goes a true fan."

The hard-boiled and vicious Mechanic goes a bit Weekend At Bernie's

as Jason Statham covers up his killing by making the corpse

swim a few more lengths.

But look at his grip on the dead man's wrists.

It should clearly be visible from above,

but it's not.

What would Bernie say?

Well, nothing. He's dead.

Angelina Jolie in the disjointed film Salt,

here climbs down a lift shaft.

Just a wait few minutes for the lift, you impatient madam.

Thankfully, she emerges from what must be

a filthy and greasy lift shaft

with a pristine white shirt and clean, spotless skin.

How does she do it?

It's the crackpot action movie Red

and Bruce Willis has kidnapped a lady and taped up her mouth.

But the more she gesticulates, the more we can see that

she has enough movement in her arms to take the tape off.

Maybe if she stopped complaining and thought a second she'd work it out.

I'm a little hungry, too.

Moody revenge film Faster now and The Rock hears an eagle call.

# Who's that riding? #

Trouble is, the bird he's seeing is actually a seagull.

Maybe the seagull thinks it'll sound more impressive as an eagle.

A bit like calling yourself "The Rock,"

when your real name is Dwayne.

It's the best actor of his generation, 50 Cent,

in the very flat Blood Out

doing some incredible sunglasses acting.

Look good on you, man.

They do look good on him, don't they?

He should never take them off.

Oh, wait a minute, they've disappeared.

That's awful continuity if you want my 50 cents on the matter.

Awards - what are they good for?

Plumping up the already inflated egos of pampered performers.

Rewarding someone for doing a job they've already been paid

far too much money to do in the first place.

As if all performers have a pathetic obsession with recognition.

Awards are a complete sham, a massive waste of time

and, as I stated very loudly at this year's Annual Clip Show Awards,

I'm not interested in stupid awards and, yes, we have been passed over

yet again and, yes, I may have been removed by security

for causing a scene, but there is no way that

Animal Foul Ups deserved to win again.

Speaking of awards, here are some Oscar-nominated clips.

Inception - where strange things happen almost without explanation.

That's not the way I deal with things.

Maybe that's how you justify the rain on the window behind Saito.

But there's no rain on DiCaprio.

And the continuity editor is thrown off the building

-for one too many errors.

-What will you do with him?

-Nothing.

You'd have thought working on Inception would be a dream job.

Now a maths lesson from revealing biopic The Social Network.

Facebook's run by some of the greatest business minds in the world.

So these numbers will be meticulously crunched.

Let's listen to how their business is divided up.

That represents a 34.4% ownership share.

So Eduardo owns 34.4%.

-You should know that Mark has already taken his percentage from 60 down to 51.

-Oh.

Zuckerberg owns 51%.

Who else is in?

Dustin Moskovitz owns 6.81%,

Sean Parker 6.47% and Peter Thiel 7%.

Total 105%!

Would you like to use my pen?

Would you like to use my calculator?

Ooh, the brutal and uncompromising Black Swan now

and check out Natalie Portman's scarf.

Did she kill a white swan to make it?

Anyway, she's about to step through a magical door.

Why is it a magical door?

Because as she steps through it, her scarf's no longer round her neck.

It's like a very low rent Mr Benn.

The Fighter is so full of clangers, it makes me want to hurt someone.

Not Marky Mark obviously, he's a bit tough.

And not Bale, the lunatic!

But Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots would help vent my frustrations.

It's good, Dick. I'm just trying to figure out what's best for me.

Where have they gone? I wasn't going to break them.

I'm sorry, I don't know who you are or why you're taking.

Oh, back now. Well, if you're going to be like that, I don't want them.

We're together. Do we need to do this again? Hi, I'm Charlene.

In the emotional King's Speech,

the Monarch struggles with a speech impediment.

However, his missus Queen Bonham Carter has her own struggles.

Her veil keeps moving on its own accord.

First it's down...

Indentured servitude?

..then it's up...

Well, we need to have your hubby pop by.

-Tuesday would be good.

-..then it's down.

They should make a film of that - The Queen's Manic Depressive Veil.

Greetings, bold traveller. Far have you journeyed in the search

of mistakes from the realm of fantasy films and weary must ye be,

but finally ye shall be rewarded with what ye seek.

First I will need drop of monk's wood from the vial of crisal wood

to unlock the spell... Oh, stop this. Just play the clips.

Here are the fantasy film mistakes. Yeah. No, over there.

Over to Narnia and the exciting and epic Voyage Of The Dawn Treader.

Look behind our brave explorers That door is firmly closed. How can they get in?

Oh, it's already open and now we HEAR it opening.

DOOR CREAKS OPEN

Narnia's a confusing place. What next, a talking lion?

What's your least favourite season? Autumn? Winter?

Mine is The Season Of The Witch.

That felt longer than both autumn and winter put together.

Now, look at the boy's sword.

Did you spot it? Let's see that again.

Perhaps you can be of service.

The sword swaps hands. Witchcraft, or maybe glitch craft?

The actors in this half-hearted and messy take on Red Riding Hood

must be a bit chilly.

It's clearly the middle of winter,

but everyone's wearing short-sleeved garments.

Rumours that this film was shot on a Saturday night out in Newcastle have yet to be confirmed.

Clint Eastwood's flawed fantasy Hereafter now, and in this scene,

an expert is telling us about the great Charles Dickens.

Over here on this wall we have several illustrations for The Mystery of Edward Drood...

Oh dear. I hate to be a know-it-all,

but I think you'll find it was The Mystery of EdWIN Drood, not EdWARD Drood.

To think I had such great expectations for this film.

This is the film Your Highness,

and this poor, helpless maiden is tied down so tightly she can barely move.

But at the end of the scene, she's able to sit up quite easily whilst still being tied down.

Your Highness, the film that hits an all-time lowness.

I always say the key to a successful double act is having two people...

From my experience, if you want to create a successful double act,

and you're not very cool,

find someone who is much less cool than you,

and then you'll be known as the cool one.

Some Hollywood double acts work so well together, it's hard to imagine one without the other.

Tom Hank and Meg Ryan, Brad and Angelina,

Lindsay Lohan and her parole officer.

But my favourite double act has got to be Superman and Clark Kent.

What?

How can they be the same person? They don't look anything alike.

He just wears glasses?!

That is so... So clever.

OK, then it's got to be Spiderman and Peter Parker.

The surprisingly dark Love And Other Drugs now,

and watch Anne Hathaway's arm.

It's under the pillow behind Jake Gyllenhaal's arm,

then it pops up before tucking itself back behind the pillow

like his arm's made of nothing.

Also, she's not pointing and laughing,

which in my experience is what women normally do after sex. Right?

Here's a scene from the goofy Dinner For Schmucks,

and just keep an eye on her ears.

He wants me to curate it.

Oh, my God!

She's lost her earrings!

You call a guy a douche and you get your first museum show out of it.

Now they're back.

I love you so much. You're stunning, smart and awful with pronunciation.

Now they've gone again!

Apparently she's wearing a new type of jewellery.

Disappear-rings!

I love you.

Oh, my God.

Here, Steve Carrel wrestles Paul Rudd away from a lift.

I think we need to cool off...

Gosh, I hate when that happens.

Look, he's grabbing him by the arm.

He's got his arm.

And then suddenly... it's his right leg!

What a joke.

Paul Rudd's not the only one having his leg pulled around here.

THEY GRUNT AND MOAN

You are welcome.

In this bit, Steve Carrel changes his specs

so he can dress a mouse for its impending marriage.

Nice cameo by Stuart Little.

But when he removes the magnifying glasses...

Oops, his normal glasses are still on.

What a mouse-stake to make.

At the schmucks' dinner itself,

watch out for the lady in the purple dress,

who's in two places at once.

Here she is.

And now she's over here too.

Incredible! At least she can pass herself the salt.

Here, Steve plays such a schmuck that he walks straight into a pond

and gets his trousers wet.

But hang on.

They're already wet before he goes in, from a previous take.

When they said this comedy was pant-wetting,

I thought they meant it was funny!

Oh, the usual scene.

A man asleep in the bath with his hand down the toilet.

This is the predictable Just Go With It,

which was the editor probably said when he saw that the toilet seat

was down instead of up in the next shot.

Just go with it. No-one will notice.

I mean, that kid's not noticed, and he's sat on a man's hand.

Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler play plastic surgeons,

but maybe it's their movie that needs corrective surgery.

I think that's enough. Do you feel that?

No.

One moment Sandler is wearing rubber gloves, and then suddenly...

..they've gone!

That bra is the perfect size, Sandler,

Cos you've just made one massive boob.

Film animals are intensively-trained creatures

who behave exactly the way the director wants them to.

-But sometimes corners are cut.

-The pig is tasting my body!

No, he's not.

He should be saying, "The pig is eating the food

"that I've smeared all over my back to attract it."

The pig's the one who's least at fault.

The pig is tasting my body!

Action films now. None of your namby-pamby romance or any of that girly stuff.

Films for blokes, full of explosions and fights and guns.

Films for real men. Real men like me!

Are you talking to me?! Are you talking to me?!

Oh, you are talking to me.

What... We can't have the gun. Health and safety. Oh, OK.

GUN FIRES

And talking of being sorry,

I got kicked out of my local cinema the other week

after I went up to the lady at the ticket kiosk and told her I was looking for a bit of action.

I only wanted a ticket to see the new Jason Statham film.

Well, that's what I told the police anyway.

Nice vest.

It's the ridiculous The Expendables,

where the most expendable thing is that vest.

Sly got on board wearing it...

Now it's off.

He hangs up his guns...

And it's on again.

And then it isn't.

I haven't seen this much vest removal since Take That at Wembley in 1995.

Cockney legend Statham starting some aggro with some sweaty crims.

Here he is pokin' along on his bike in his levver jacket and 'elmet.

That'll take a while to take off.

But in an instant his trouble and strife is strolling away wiv his gear.

Would you Adam and Eve it?

A horrible scene of torture from The Expendables,

but not as horrible as this goof.

SHE SCREAMS

MAN SPEAKS IN SPANISH

She gives a defiant kick to her captors...

THEY SPEAK IN SPANISH

However, when she falls, you can see that her legs are tied together.

Maybe the director was too tied up to notice this. Thanks again. Thanks.

Here's Angelina Jolie as Salt in the far-fetched Salt.

Now, too much salt is bad for you, so let's keep this short.

Here she's brought along an ashtray and a packet of fags.

What about your insides, Salt?

-I need to get to the phone.

-No, no, no.

Someone should really hide them. Oh, they have!

But you can't fool Salt. She finds them again.

Her IQ is as high as her blood pressure.

Looks like Salt's about to get on a bouncy castle.

She knows the rules. No shoes.

That's right. Put them neatly behind you.

But in the CCTV shot, they're scattered all over the place.

No party bag for you!

In this climactic scene, Salt... Spoiler alert!

..kills the Russian president.

And speaking of spoiling things, take a look at the dead pres.

We need a medical crew down in the crypt.

No need to look for a pulse. His eyes can tell you he's totally fine.

They say dead men don't talk, but apparently they do blink.

Now, this is the melodramatic Sanctum,

and you'll need to watch very carefully.

Something the director failed to do when they picked a stuntman.

Look, a watch in this shot and no watch during the stunt.

I wouldn't give this movie the time of day.

And that's it. Until next time, byeee!

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