Episode 13 Great Movie Mistakes

The name's Webb, Robert Webb, and I've got a licence to kill...

the next two hours of your life,

with all the mistakes from the latest movie releases.

It's the return of the show that leaves the movie industry

shaken and stirred by pointing out

when it's made a right Thunder...up.

Our team of movie nerds have been on Her Majesty's secret service

to spot this year's brand-new batch of movie clunkers.

They're for your eyes only and, believe me, Dr No...one will...

Sorry, I'm not going to do this for the whole show.

When I said I want a James Bond-style opening, I thought you'd

give me fast cars, exotic locations and beautiful women,

not a dodgy tux and bad puns.

What, The Man With The Golden Pun? Yeah, very strong.

Yeah, great. That's it, forget it. That's the last straw.

Get Keith Lemon!

That's better. There'll be no more of that nonsense.

Instead, we're going to review clip after clip

of the greatest movie mistakes from this year's films

and my word is my bond.

Hang on!

Don't sequels just do your head in?

It seems that, nowadays, people can't just let a good thing happen

without exploiting it over and over again,

repeating the same tired formula until there's nothing original left.

At least that's what we think here at Movie Mistakes...Three.

Statistically, sequels gross more at the box office

than the first film in a series, so do prequels.

So I've come up with a plan, make the second film first,

then do the first film second, but because you've made the second film

first, the second film, which is in fact the first film,

will technically be a prequel. Ker-ching!

The best thing about sequels is that they get to have subtitles.

Terminator 2, Judgement Day, Babe 2 - Pig In The City,

Garfield 2 - Who Allowed This To Get Made.

The foreboding and climactic Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows.

Here, the charmingly named Mundungus knocks over a stack of newspapers.

Listen, I panicked...

Daily Prophets everywhere.

But, perhaps a special cleaning spell is used as, later on,

we see the papers are neatly stacked again.

Abracadabra? Abraca-bad-ra.

Harry Potter critics say it became a little repetitive towards the end.

-I think that's a bit unfair.

-They're after you, mate.

Oh, hang on, that waitress covers the same piece of ground twice.

What about all the people at the wedding?

There she goes...

and there she goes again.

Maybe they had a point after all.

Helena Bonham Carter straddling Emma Watson is a sight to get any

Harry Potter fan-boy hot and bothered, but not like that.

I'm talking about this massive movie clunker.

SHE SCREAMS

She goes to carve into her right arm,

then, suddenly, she's attacking her left.

It's awful. There's not even any mud for them to fight in.

Ah, pirates - making alcoholism fun!

It's the boisterous Pirates Of The Caribbean 4.

And, as Geoffrey Rush tilts his hollow leg high to get a drink,

Jack Sparrow wants a taste.

I want one of those.

Sadly, his hands are tied and could never tilt the leg high enough.

Here's to revenge - sweet and clear.

Revenge.

How'd he do that?

Come, Hector.

It's the flaccid Little Fockers

and here's Jessica Alba dropping off Ben Stiller in a lovely

car with black seats.

-Are you sure you're going to be OK?

-Yeah.

Well, it's not him you should worry about, it's your car

because overnight...the seats have turned white.

You OK?

Following the example of Dustin Hoffman's hair.

Oh, it's the atmospheric Paranormal Activity 2.

BANG

And there's some spooky goings-on in this household.

Oh, keep an eye on the pots and pans hanging from the rack.

That's enough.

Oooh, they keep changing colour and shape.

A poltergeist or cock-up?

You decide.

Adrenaline-pumping Fast Five now, and when robbing a bank,

attention to detail really counts.

Here the safe's unlocked with a right-hand print.

Young Mia then goes to extreme measures,

grabbing his print on her bikini.

But it's the left hand.

That shouldn't work, then. Caught you red-handed AND red-faced!

So did he just slap that BLEEP or did he grab and hold on to it?

You know, it takes so much time and money

to CGI those robots in Transformers,

I'd just not bother putting them in every shot.

I mean, who's going to notice?

Unfortunately, we are!

Keep an eye on this character, Brains, who transforms into

thin air!

Shame this film can't transform into a good one.

That's what you love about me.

You've got some BLEEP.

It's annoying when there's loads of action going on.

There's never time to shave, is there, Shia LaBeouf?

Especially when you're getting attacked by a flying robot.

No!

But, wait a second, he hasn't, has he?

From Shia LaBeouf to sheered LaBeouf.

You think you're a hero...

It's near the end of Transformers and time is tight.

Who's the messenger?

But look at this clock, it's got a mind of its own.

Starting at 2:20.

It jumps back to 12:15...

..and then back further to 11 o'clock.

It's like Back To The Future, but with robots

and without Michael J Fox.

Actually, forget it, it's nothing like Back To The Future.

Last clip from Transformers and lucky old sheered LaBeouf is getting

a snog from his latest supermodel girlfriend.

But take a look at her mucky paws.

I'm going to hold you to that.

They keep changing from clean and over his shoulders,

to dirty and on his face.

The most popular genre of the moment seems to be the superheroes.

Spider-Man, Superman, Natalie Port-man, X-Men, that's another one.

I've always found their name confusing.

X-Men, they're ex-men. So they're women.

If that's the case, I suppose that explains

why I fancy Wolverine so very much.

Everyone is quick to talk about superheroes, but no-one

is interested in the real-life heroes.

For me, my hero in life has always been my old English teacher.

He was caring and passionate, a real inspiration to all he taught

and by night, he donned a mask and cape

and went out and fought criminals.

I'll never forget you, Mr Batman.

Now it's time for breakneck action hit X-Men First Class.

But that isn't a history class,

as while they may be flashing back to 1944...

that photo of Einstein was taken in 1947.

Class dismissed.

Here's James McAvoy as superhero Professor Xavier.

But every superhero has his weakness and for Xavier, it's windows.

See that?

I read the teleporter's mind.

Ouch! He bangs his head against the glass.

Curse you, window, I'll get you next time!

I read the teleporter's mind.

Now, James is rightly thinking twice

about shooting his mate in the head.

But look at the distance the gun is from his head,

it changes with every shot.

That's every shot of the camera, not of the gun, thankfully.

No, I can't.

Now have the animators made an error here? Look at Emma Frost -

she's the one that's a woman.

When she changes from diamonds back to human

her hair style changes.

Here it's loose.

Now tied back.

We don't harm our own kind.

With her hair in that state, she must have been made from uncut diamonds.

On to the let down that was Green Lantern

and this guy is ecstatic because all day, he's been trying to keep

his slippery headphones on his head and now he's finally made them...

Oh. Oh, well. Back to the drawing board.

Take a look at Ryan Reynolds' brown eyes.

You know, you can't be a pilot if you're colour blind.

Maybe they should have the same rule for casting directors because,

according to this film, when he was younger, he had blue eyes.

It's Ken Branagh's smart take on Thor.

But where's the cock-up?

As Dylan says, the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

Look at that stiff breeze blowing their hair across their faces...

that suddenly disappears... and it returns.

Misquoting Dylan again, let's hope, at that height, they're not sitting on the eaves of destruction.

I try, I fail.

I'm going to get everything back.

In this scene, it's tipping it down with rain

and everyone's getting soaking wet.

Apart from the guy from The Hurt Locker,

who keeps a dry face at all times.

With that condition, he must get through a hell of a lot of Nivea.

Thor, again, and an exciting moment where a coffee spills over.

But there's no use crying over it because,

in just a matter of seconds, it goes from being knocked over

to upright again.

Better latte than never.

In my opinion, a good movie always leaves you asking questions.

Who was Keyser Soze?

How did Nice Guy Eddie get shot? And, dude, where is my car?

But this selection of clunkers is so terrible, it will leave you

asking only one question. What were they thinking?

Very geeky comedy with the film Paul, now,

and the invisible alien looks at Nick Frost's passport.

But it should say British citizen and not British subject.

Could be worse, it could be French subject.

That was always my least favourite subject.

He's from another world.

Take a look at the green oven mitt on the wall.

It's about to disappear.

If it makes you feel any better, my existence...

There it goes.

That's the thing about sci-fi films, I mean, the rule book is thrown

out of the window.

# Amazing grace... #

In fact, I bet they did it on purpose.

I bet it represents something like, you know, us,

like, are we really here or are we just...

Oh, yeah.

Oh, never mind, it's back.

Turns out it just represents a mistake they made.

And now fireworks. Remember the code...

That'll put us behind the tree line...

..light them at an arm's length...

Hey! Watch the fuse!

..stand well back...

That's not funny.

..and take your head torch off twice.

Arrh. Boom!

But watch Pegg's head torch. He just lets it vanish.

He's no responsible adult.

Pretentious arty action in Hanna.

Here, Cate Blanchett runs up a flight of stairs in comfy shoes,

dropping her monkey head along the way.

No time to worry about simian head gear, there's a child to chase.

But, apparently, plenty of time to change shoes.

Let's see that again.

Before you can say, "Here come the girls," she's in boots!

Here's Hanna herself and I know what you're thinking,

Hanna was brought up as a trained assassin in isolation

near the Arctic Circle, so how come she's got pierced ears?

This movie has more holes than Hanna's lobes.

Hanna's having a face-to-face chat with her friend Sophie,

lying on her left-hand side.

And here's Sophie who, for some reason,

appears to be also lying on her left side.

So, how are they face to face?

I like you.

Look me in the eye and answer me!

I'd like to have a friend.

In the soppy Just Wright,

Scott walks Leslie over to a covered object shaped very much like a car.

She asks what it is and he reveals, to her great surprise...

that it's a car.

No, you didn't!

But keep your eye on the antenna.

It's visible even though the car's covered

and doesn't move with the fabric.

Just WRIGHT?! Just WRONG, more like!

ROBERT WEBB CHUCKLES

Here's the moribund Something Borrowed.

Keep an eye on the girl on the far left fast asleep.

Now she's wide awake and catching up on the latest gossip in Grazia.

Can't have been a very interesting article because, look,

sleeping on the job again. A bit like the continuity editor.

Onto the tongue-in-cheek Red now and here's lovely Helen Mirren

looking glamorous,

but then she could make a cheap plastic watch look glamorous.

Which must be exactly what she's done

as while the necklace sets off the metal detector,

the watch doesn't.

Still with Red and here,

Bruce Willis gets a little help with his handcuffs.

He's handed a key, but wait a second,

the handcuffs aren't even locked.

How much help do you need, Bruce?

Do you want him to tie your shoelaces while he's at it?

Next up, we're looking at teen movies,

which, for a man only recently out of his teens - that's right - is exactly my thing.

-MOBILE PHONE RINGS

-They're cool, wicked and totally radical. Oh, excuse me.

Oh, hey, Dazza! Yeah? What's up, dude?

Yeah, I would love to come down the Rec and skateboard with you.

Hang on. Mum, I'm going down the Rec with Dazza.

-HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:

-Not until you've finished hosting the show.

But, Mum!

-No buts.

-I can't come out. See you tomoz.

Here are some classic goofs from teen films.

-Say it nicely!

-Here are some classic goofs from teen films.

I saw that!

Next, in the light-hearted Easy A, Olive shows this boy what's what

by crushing an ice-cream cone in front of his face.

But the cone instantly reappears. Here today, cone tomorrow.

Now, watch Olive trying to take off her left boot

Is that lavender? It's pretty.

Which becomes her right boot, then she takes off her right boot again,

but somehow she's removed both her boots!

A clear example of two rights making a wrong.

In energetic Step Up 3D, it's the dance battle.

And as any B-boy knows, things get hot on the dance floor,

which is why the guy who's with those men pretending to be dogs

keeps taking his coat off.

Now you see it...

Now you don't.

Reminds me of my nan's 80th. That was a lively affair.

Another one from Step Up, and take a look at Moose's bag,

because it's only on in the shots from behind.

Yeah, I mean I...

I'm a double major.

Now, I know it's a backpack,

but you'd still see the strap on the front, right?

Yes?

What do you mean, you can't believe it?

It's Submarine, a reflective film about a son

trying to smooth out the creases in his parents' relationship.

And by the looks of things,

he's also smoothing out the creases in this drawing.

See? The fold's gone.

No need to set it on fire, though!

Oh! Kids!

Finally, a flashback scene in the worthless Twilight sequel, Eclipse.

Now, clothes in those days were made to last.

Look at that!

She stabs right through her dress and it doesn't even rip.

You don't get that kind of quality at Primark, do you?

Films get better with age, like so many things.

Wine, cheese, a good lover -

or at least that's what I tell my girlfriend.

She's 78 and needs a lot of confidence boosting,

so here are some slightly older clips

that we may have missed in the first two shows.

STATIC AND CLATTERING

Oh! She's had another fall. Excuse me!

Lovable musical Grease now,

and Vi demonstrates early voice control technology

as all it takes is for her to do a low grunt...

and the light goes out.

She certainly didn't flick the switch - look...

..her elbow is a good few inches away.

How's it done, Vi?

Enlighten us!

THEY ALL SING "SUMMER NIGHTS"

Ah, those crazy school days, when everyone could perform

a flawless, impromptu song-and-dance number!

Best years of my life!

Though Rizzo goes and ruins it by putting on some cool shades...

that instantly come off.

But it takes our eye off Travolta readjusting his tight trousers...

Oh, back on again.

Good diversion, Rizzo!

The colourful, camp classic The Wizard of Oz

and Dorothy's down the Yellow Brick Road in her iconic red shoes.

But she's a bit peckish...

The tree doesn't like this.

-Well, how would you like someone come and pinch something off of you?

-Oh, dear!

Well- we find out, as someone's had it away with Dorothy's lovely shoes

and replaced them with dreary old dance shoes.

Look!

Hooray! I guess that did it. Help yourself.

Now as Dorothy chases the Tin Man,

see how the very important can of oil falls out of her basket.

Here it is.

Luckily with oil prices as they are,

it reappears intact so Tin Man can sort out his arthritic joints.

That was wonderful.

Well, OIL be damned!

The original and best Superman movie now,

and while you may believe a man can fly, he can also walk through glass.

Here, he's in a different door partition to Lois,

but when they come out, they leave from the same partition.

Also - rewind that...

Yep, a clear reflection of the cameraman.

Now I'll believe a man can spy.

Clark Kent is ever the polite gentleman, even when knocked out.

Did you see that?

See? He doffs his hat to his mugger as he runs away.

The final word in romantic comedies is Pretty Woman,

but I wish Julia Roberts would sort her manners out -

look, she's talking through a mouthful of croissant...

How far did you go in school?

Even more impolitely, she then changes it to a pancake!

Your folks must be proud.

And then takes a second bite out...

..which goes back on the pancake afterwards.

Disgraceful.

Ah, the epic and magical Sound of Music,

and look at the lovely scenery.

On such a beautiful, clear and sunny day

wouldn't you want to climb up an Alpine hillside,

take a deep breath of fresh air and just sing your guts out?

Come on, Julie, give us a burst!

Oh, it's suddenly gone all dull and cloudy.

I'd go back in, love. Film's over, everyone.

Thanks for watching Great Movie Mistakes.

I hope we haven't taken the shine off your favourite films this year.

If we have, then console yourself by remembering

that for all the little mistakes we've just pointed out,

there's hours and hours of movie footage

where they don't make any mistakes at all.

But if you want to watch them, you'd probably better download them illegally online.

-ALARM SOUNDS

-Bye!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd