Episode 3 Great Movie Mistakes

There was once a noble quest undertaken by Tommo and Ben,

two hairy men from the Midlands, and Matthew the painfully white.

Bravely, they sought out motion picture mishaps,

cinematic screw-ups and filmic failures.

They travelled as far as Odeon and through the many caverns of Vue,

where they have returned with their prey,

captured on shiny golden rings known as DVDs.

Fine, fine, I know they're not gold.

Join them now as they celebrate Great Movie Mistakes.

Matthew, turn on the light.

Right, let's get cracking.

Guys, don't you think we look like characters from that film?

Top Gear is not a film, Ben.

No. The Lord Of The Rings.

What are you talking about? I've just been to the rugby

with my girlfriend, who doesn't know that I'm bald.

And I've just come back from my mate's pub crawl.

I mean, the weather was terrible but I did find this broom.

Cool.

Well, I've just come back from the shops, getting supplies for tonight.

Why are you carrying a sword?

It's a rough neighbourhood.

Fair enough.

ALL: Movie night!

Hello and welcome to Great Movie Mistakes. We're Pappy's.

I'm Matthew. I'm Tom. And he's Matthew. Thanks, Ben.

Tonight, in our flat,

we'll be taking you through some of cinema's biggest howlers.

Popcorn. Check.

Nachos. Check.

Beers. Check.

Dimmable lighting?

HE CLAPS Checkmate.

Wow, guys, this movie night is shaping up beautifully.

Movie night? No. These are our supplies for when the apocalypse happens.

Really? With these provisions, your heart would last about a week.

Er, I think you'll find it's sustained us for the last six years.

It's a medical miracle. Technically, we should have tri-abetes.

Oh, which reminds me - M

Peanuts and chocolate. Checkedy-check-check.

Well, it's lucky your apocalypse provisions dovetail

so nicely with my idea for a perfect movie night.

So, let's get cracking with our first batch of faulty movie moments.

Who are you talking to?

The brain segment of the frontal lobe...

It's Pacific Rim.

Fantastic. Guillermo Del Toro's exciting and spectacular

monster film is surprisingly enjoyable,

but it's not without a clanger or two. Go on.

Check out that headpiece that Newton's wearing. I see it.

See it now? Fastened round his neck without him touching it.

Shockingly unrealistic.

Unlike that giant floating Kaiju brain, which is bang on.

What's to tell?

You know them...?

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

what is the most glaring error of them all?

I'd say probably this one.

Watch Idris Elba somehow manage to move

from right next to the mirror...

to all the way into the middle of the room.

Teleporting near a mirror is seven years' bad luck, right?

The last time I jockeyed was Tokyo.

Great, it's Star Trek Into Darkness.

Star Trek Into Awesomeness, more like.

Kirk's drowning his sorrows, but check out his glass.

The futuristic orb of ice is drowned in whisky, but now...

where's the whisky gone?

Teleported somewhere? No wonder he's upset.

I will remain behind and divert...

Sulu's a renegade, the Enterprise is falling apart

and he's driving without a seat belt!

All due respect, Commander, but we're not going anywhere.

Oh, wait, there it is.

Wait. If we look later on, he's taken it off again.

And Spock's obviously had a go at him, as it's back on.

There's no excuse not to use protection.

Oh, I love the way they teleport in this movie.

I love the way Uhura is both fierce and sexy -

a true independent woman.

Er... OK.

But speaking of Uhura, where is she in this shot?

Teleported into my dreams?

And back again.

That was quick. I don't need long.

It's time for some slightly above average superheroics in Man Of Steel.

Oh, and here's a good blooper.

A message is being broadcast worldwide...

But it's somehow night-time in all these places around the world.

Ridiculous. I dunno.

My girlfriend's travelling at the moment and whenever I call her,

she doesn't pick up because it's the middle of the night.

I just think it's always night-time in a lot of places.

Ben, she's in Cornwall. Let her go, buddy.

It's coming in on the RSS feeds. 'You are not alone.'

Time to shed light on another Man Of Steel clunker.

Those soldiers are clearly casting a shadow to the side

despite the sun being very definitely behind Superman.

Massively inconsistent.

What makes you think she's here?

Surely the real inconsistency is why a man with unlimited power

and the ability to single-handedly solve all the world's problems

chooses to spend 40 hours a week working as a newspaper reporter,

essentially neglecting the cries for help from people worldwide?

All of whom he can definitely hear.

That's actually an amazingly good point.

Take one of the greatest works of literature ever,

get Baz Luhrmann to make an awesome film of it starring

Leonardo DiCaprio and what do you get?

Romeo + Juliet.

Absolutely.

Sadly, The Great Gatsby wasn't half as good,

but hats off for their hard efforts.

Hats off indeed, but wait.

Hat's on here.

Oh, and the car they're overtaking vanishes.

Hat's all, folks.

Watch out! Watch out!

Cliched and clunky, White House Down shows there inevitably comes

a time when any President is required to fire a missile launcher

out of the side of his limousine.

If this whole concept wasn't mistake enough,

check out Channing Tatum's arm.

As Jamie Foxx strikes him on the head,

we see either some marks for editing or a really terrible tattoo.

Hit me in the head with a rocket while I'm trying to drive!

And he's opening the back window.

For security reasons, you can

only open the front window in presidential cars.

As I remember from my affair with Clinton in '95.

There's something you don't see every day.

World War Z now, but you won't be catching any Zs

if you watch this hard-edged

neo-Zombie action thriller - it's great.

But listen to Dr Fassbach making a basic medical error.

The analogy I keep coming back to is Spanish flu. Spanish flu?

It didn't exist in 1918, but by 1920 it killed 3% of the world.

Didn't exist in 1918? I think you'll find it broke out in 1918, mate. Ha!

The plane's going down!

Let's put on our oxygen masks while we try to stabilise the engines!

It doesn't look promising. There's a massive hole in the plane.

But with certain death looming, the pilots have opted to

take off their oxygen masks and wear normal headsets.

But why? It's simple, Ben. So they can kiss.

With the zombie disease causing havoc worldwide,

the population's rapidly decreasing.

Soon the only person left will be a teleporting man.

Sorry, what?

Check him out. White beardy hair man, he's everywhere.

Behind Brad...

..and now sorting through papers.

Only he can move fast enough to outrun the zombie hordes.

Sir, there is nowhere to evacuate you to.

Now, the science of movie mistakes is as real and serious as alchemy,

horoscopes and a third example.

But how do you measure a movie mistake?

We've had literally hundreds of e-mails and letters,

none of which relate to this subject.

So we thought we'd tackle that now.

Basically, a clanger is one below a blooper.

You get two gaffes to a clunker.

Although it should be noted than an American clunker is worth

only two-thirds of a British clunker.

In other words, roughly equivalent to a howler.

Five howlers add up to a boob.

Three boobs and you're watching Total Recall.

And if you spot a gaffe, howler and boob happening all at once,

you're probably watching a film by Michael Bay.

Oh, zing! Always going for those tricky targets, Crosby.

Yep. I think that's the last we'll be hearing from that guy.

Anyway, here are some impressive examples of premium goofs.

Goofs. I knew we missed one.

We must find shelter!

It's the grand but rather long first Hobbit movie.

And they could have picked a different day to film it -

awful weather. Yeah.

They're getting absolutely soaked, apart from the dwarves it would seem.

His hair doesn't look wet at all, and neither does his.

And as soon as they enter the cave, the dwarves are completely bone dry.

This is easily explained.

Dwarves are shorter, so the rain hits them later.

Yeah. It doesn't quite work like that, Ben.

More wet spells here in The Hobbit.

The precious ring falls onto some dry slate.

Hmm. Bit dark, but with the old lightsaber

you can see the slate is definitely wet.

You can solve pretty much any problem by waving your

lightsaber about. Good grief. Put it away, boy.

Joseph Kosinsky's visually striking but a trifle dull

Oblivion is up next.

He's clearly a fan of movie mistakes.

He's even plonked one into a slow-mo scene

to make it easier for us to see.

Check out the gun with its strap flailing about.

But, when it falls to the ground, strapless!

In the future, IKEA will be releasing Modprip,

a half bed/half table combo, which is great

because if anyone falls on it it will simply bend a bit until they're off.

Until then, a padded fake table will have to do.

Time for a clunker from the glittery

but uninvolving mystery thriller that was Now You See Me.

Magicians and elaborate revenge plots galore,

but the real mystery is -

where have the extras vanished to as Interpol agent Alma Dray sits down?

Now you see them...

Now you don't.

Time for some turbo-powered excitement with Premium Rush.

I'm sorry, but no matter how much synthy music you use

this scene will never be cool.

Check out the taxi door.

They've clearly taken out the window and halved the door frame,

so the stuntman can fall over it.

And once Joseph Gordon-Levitt finishes using his weird

in-built sat nav... Handy for a courier.

..we see it's all back on.

Check out those great bullhorn handlebars. Classy. Indeed.

But in the very same chase scene,

those handlebars suddenly change to risers.

Horns to risers doesn't sound like much of a change to me.

Put it away.

Here Comes The Boom is great.

By great, don't you mean mediocre, Ben?

Stop calling me Mediocre Ben. Sorry.

Here's Mr Voss. He's late for school,

hence he's climbing through a window. That's all fair enough.

But he clearly had time to change his shoes from boots to trainers.

This is evidence that wayward teacher Mr Voss

may be mentally unhinged.

Here he is getting crisps out of a jammed vending machine

and two bags fall out.

Oh! Lucky fella.

Ho-ho-ho! Bonus!

Immediately he gives one to a pupil, but makes him deny it ever happened.

This never happened. We clear?

Power games. Very dark.

But wait, he's got two packets of crisps again.

This man is insane!

And now, after having three crisps, he just throws his one packet away.

What happened to the second packet?!

This never happened. We clear?

It's the powerfully emotional Flight,

featuring Denzel Washington who is, for once, playing someone heroic.

Stretch yourself, Denzel.

SCREAMING

What this film does stretch is reality.

There goes the plane about 12 feet from ground level.

And there is our view from inside the plane, miles up in the air.

Get it together, Washington. People are counting on you.

Are you ready for some mobile phone madness? Always.

First, he unlocks his phone and the time is 1:17 on October 20th.

Then, blam! He unlocks the phone and it's 8:52 on October 8th.

And then, just for good measure,

he somehow zooms right in on his iPhone like an absolute maverick!

Denzel plays by no-one's rules but his own.

Don't you just hate answerphone greetings?

Yeah, they're so samey.

Not in Flight, they're not. Listen to this one.

Right...

But the second time we hear it, it's shorter.

Stands to reason. He's had time to practise,

so it will be slicker the second time.

PHONE RINGS

He's angered Denzel there though. Nasty business.

That's absolutely not how it works.

Hello. My name is Ben.

I'm auditioning for the part of Wolverine.

I'll be reading for the part of Wolverine.

I'll be reading for the part of Rogue.

No, only kidding.

I'm reading for Wolverine or, as I like to call him, Wolferine.

Damn! This healing factor of mine is just so powerful.

I'm healing all the time...

even now.

Will I walk you home? Of "claws" I'll walk you home.

# Prince Charming

# Prince Charming. #

That's right, my bones are laced with adamant-ium.

I'm just a stubborn Canadian, here to show you what justice is all aboot.

About. Aboot.

Justice.

I'm more of an XXX man.

HE GROANS

Yeah. Just checking, you're CGI-ing the body afterwards, right?

That's how Jackman did it, right?

It's time to look at some careless action movie mistakes.

As a fellow mutant, I can only admire the solid and surprisingly mature

action romp The Wolverine.

The ability to burp the national anthem of any

Commonwealth country is now a mutant power, Ben.

It's not unimpressive though.

Regardless, check out Hugh Jackman's hitherto un-mutant power,

shifting from lying on his side...

to lying on his back without apparently moving at all.

Here's Jackman tearing up some fools at a funeral,

whilst Viper films it all on her phone.

GUNSHOTS

But wait. Look as she lowers it.

The footage on the phone clearly isn't happening live.

Maybe she's simply using her phone to watch the stunning

action film, The Wolverine.

It's an extraordinary meta piece of filmmaking.

Now, TRAIN your eyes, if you will, on those passers by.

What? Those passers-by are looking directly at the camera. Yup.

Ha! They should probably TRAIN their eyes elsewhere.

Ben, you're aware I made that exact same joke literally seconds before?

Boys, let's get back on track. ALL: Hey-o!

Nothing says not "particularly good action film" like the words

GI Joe: Retaliation.

But it did bring us this error.

Look at Channing Tatum's ears, everyone.

Bit harsh. I don't think they can be classed as a mistake.

No. His headphones. Firstly, they're on.

Then they're off.

You've got a big head. Come here.

Then they're on again.

Just like Ross and Rachel. Wow. Where did that come from?

I've only just got to the end of Friends. Oh.

It's the awesome Iron Man 3, tons better than the second one.

Now, throughout the film, he's got blood on his left eye and cheek.

But somehow, for this shot, it's on his right side.

And now it's back.

EYE know.

Was that a joke?

Aye.

A rare sign of implausibility

in the usually highly realistic Bond franchise.

# It's Skyfall. #

Here's Craig with the old "drive head-first into the side

"of a bridge then land on a train" trick.

But what about the motorbike? It's back on its wheels.

But where is it here?

Probably transformed into a Cuban cigar

and landed in Craig's inside pocket.

Sounds about par for the course.

Well, get after them, for God's sake.

Your successor has yet to be appointed, so we'll be asking you...

I'm not an idiot, Mallory.

Dame Judi Dench is being tactfully fired by Ralph Fiennes for losing

government secrets.

Keep an eye out for her handbag.

M...you've had a great run.

You should leave with dignity.

Oh, to hell with dignity.

I'll leave when the job's done.

Yes. She should also leave with her handbag.

Ironically, the handbag contained more government secrets,

which is why Ralph has had it vaporized.

As anyone who has chased Javier Bardem

as a policeman through a London Underground station knows,

it's impossible to slide down the middle of an escalator.

Yeah. You won't so much slide as bounce off the emergency stop buttons

and raised barriers.

Not to mention the dog-eared copies of free newspapers.

The Oscars always leads to heated debate.

I'm telling you, this is going to win Best Picture.

This will win. This needs to win! Guys, what's going on?

We're just arguing over who's going to win Best Picture.

Well, judging by that, neither of you,

although you're both frontrunners for Worst Joke.

BOTH: Yes!

Speaking of Best Picture, let's have a look at some shocking

continuity gaps from this year's Oscar-nominated films.

The jaw-dropping almost accurate Argo now,

with two mistakes in one.

Like when I got the word "legend" tattooed on my...

OK. OK. First things first. Check this out.

Bear in mind, Argo is set in 1979.

There's a script for Passions Requiem dated 2009.

Ha! I knew Ben Affleck received my autobiographical screenplay.

Secondly, you see the Argo script's fancy black vinyl cover?

I like it.

Well, where the hell has it gone?

Affleck's eaten it, hasn't he?

It's very possible, Ben.

Here's Affleck writing a postcard. Show off.

But now look. The word "so" has jumped down a line.

In fact, it's an entirely different lot of writing on the card.

So he has magic writing AND he's Batman.

What chance do the rest of us have?

This is a good blunder. Brace yourselves. OK.

Here's Christoph Waltz putting on his braces in the brutal, gutsy

and fantastic Django Unchained.

Find my wife...

buy her freedom.

But he does it twice.

Do you see? Sort of.

He's putting them on when he already did.

Yeah, I guess so.

BRACE yourselves.

Because he was putting... Yeah, yeah, we get it, Tom.

Extras are like buses. At first there are six of them...

and then there are only three...

..and then back to six.

See?

How is that like buses, Tom?

Well, you pay ?2.40 to enter them - buses, that is, not extras.

That simile is lacking, if I'm honest.

"Lincoln is a thrilling, deeply enjoyable film" is a sentence

that tells me I have nothing in common with my date.

Come on! I can't think of a better way to spend seven hours.

Check out this clonker. See the President's glasses?

Well, look again because they've gone! Wait, "clonker"?

Yeah, it's my new word that I've made up for "blooper". Thoughts?

Hmm, not strong.

Our man proving why he's fit to lead a nation.

His crotch actually generates paperwork.

Actually, this is a blooper. Here he is putting papers into a folder.

Next shot, they're back in his hand!

So much for the "magic crotch" theory.

It's the gripping, intense Zero Dark Thirty

and this is for the geography buffs amongst you. Say no more, Matthew.

Oh, I didn't know you were into geography.

I'm not, so, please, say no more.

Those street signs are quite clearly not Kuwaiti.

They're Indian. Eh?

Madness. Matthew, really, say no more.

Look at me! Look at me!

Time for the emotionally walloping Beasts Of The Southern Wild

and here they are deep in a storm.

So, the trees closest to us are moving

but what about those perfectly still ones in the background?

The all-encompassing storm hasn't reached them yet?

I'm chalking this one up as a stormy clanger.

Here's the delightful Hushpuppy popping a Michael Jordan

jersey on her sleeping father.

And that's either a knock-off replica or a reverse shot,

because that number 23 is backwards.

Good spot, Ben. How did you see that?

Well, my teachers always said I was a bit backwards. It's a gift.

Look at these two cups.

Apart from appalling parenting, there's a massive mistake here.

Hushpuppy grabs the cup with the handle.

But now the dad has it.

Now she's got it again!

Nope, it's the dad's again.

Oh, God, drinking really does affect your vision. Ha, you're right there.

Which Matthew just said that?

Guys, it's time for GPM.

Gently Petting Matthew?

What? No!

Graphically Probing Matthew?

Absolutely not! My really cool acronym can only mean one thing!

Great Plot-hole Mistakes!

Gaffes so massively bad, an entire film falls apart.

Whoa! Hold on a second, guys! Check us out, we're cartoons!

Amazing. I can finally assist

Pinky and the Brain in their quest for world domination!

No time, Ben. We've got to explore

the miasma of movie mistakes that is...

In this relentless, pacey

and exciting superhero flick,

billionaire genius Tony Stark is

terrorised by Sir Ben Kingsley.

He threatens to bring America to its knees with a painful series

of lessons and no-one, especially Stark and the President, is safe.

So, Stark sets about saving the day.

Fair enough? Fair enough. No!

Not fair enough! Do you know why?

It interferes with Stark's long-planned golfing weekend?

No! Because Tony Stark happens to be in

an incredibly well-known superhero group.

He was in a movie with them.

Where the hell are they?!

Well, some of them don't live on Earth.

Thor might have been back in

Asgard, sorting out some admin.

Admin?! Stark's in grave peril.

And what about the others?

Big, angry Bruce Banner?

That archer guy.

And if the Captain doesn't leap into action

when the American President is threatened, what is his function?

Oh, no!

Maybe they were off on that golfing weekend,

hoping that Stark might pop along at the end?

That's a highly non-valid point!

This is one mistake so deadly that these superheroes couldn't

defeat it, if they bothered to turn up, that is.

And that's your lot.

See you soon for some more... ALL: Great Movie Mistakes!